t>
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THIS SERIES, made fronTnew plates,
contains the latest Jokes, Monologues,
Witty Savings and Bits of Humor. Used
by the most noted Vaudeville Artists of
the dav. Laugh and the world laughs
with you. These books are one con-
tinual'laugh from cover to cover. THIS
SERIES also contains popular Hand
Books, Dream Books, Tricks. Games,
etc. A universal collection of knowledge.
The books dwell on subjects everyone
is desirous- of knowing about. The
Authors are well versed on the subjects
they have treated and have spared no
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well as interesting. Five minutes in-
spection of any of these books invari-
ably determines the examiner that he
wants it. They are strictly up to date.
^iDlALECT fltfMOjj.
No. 1 Irish Yarns and
Sayings
" 2 Irish Jokes, Wit and Humor
3 Dutch Jokes
" 4 Witches' Dream Book
" 5 Gipsy Dream Book
6 Kid Jokes
7 Minstrel Jokes
" 8 Hebrew Jokes
" 9 Hypnotism
" 10 Combination Jokes
" 11 Red Hot Jokes
" 12 Parlor Games and Amuse-
ments
'" 13 Card Tricks
" 14 Coin Tricks
" 15 Magic Made Easy
" 16 Popular Toasts
" 17 Choice Riddles
" 18 Flirtations and Autograph
Album Verses
" 19 Farmer Jokes
" 20 Actor Jokes
" 21 Drummer's Yarns
22 Tramp Jokes
Witty No. 24 Rube Jokes
25 After-Dinner Stories
26 Stage Jokes
27 Fortune-Telling by Cards
28 Puzzles
30 Vaudeville Jokes
31 How to Make Love
32 How to Become Beautiful
33 Ventriloquism
34 Variety Jokes
35rish Jokes—A New Crop
36 Smiles—All Jokes
37 Complete Letter Writer
38 Love-Letter Writer
39 Bus in ess-Letter Writer
40 Rattling Ford Jokes
41 Sparring and Boxing
42 Roaring Jokes
43 Fun, Magic and Mystery
44 Coon Jokes
45 Good Time Jokes
46 Prize Jokes
47 Snappy Jokes
48 Smart Set Jokes
49 olly Jokes
50 Band Wagon Jokes
" 23 Monologues
Any of the above books sent upon receipt of 10 cents and 2 c
a copy for Postage or 10 Copies for $1.00 Postpaid.
I. & M. OTTENHEIMER,
321 W. Baltimore St.,
PUBLISHF
Baltimore, ..«.d.
^
. ^jmsm*-'
Some New
Some Old
All Good
S
I ^ Copyright. 191*
By I. & M. Ottenheimer
THE FAITHFUL, HUSBAND TOAST.
Here's to my wife
Wish her long life!
She's mighty good looking, uarivaled at
cooking;
Know;? ail about medicine, as inventive sll
Edison;
Just plumb full of grit, has n® equal for
wit;
Sees the point when I joke, insists that
smoke;
Never chews the rag when I get, a jag;
*3he knows how to sew, still calls me her.
beau.
Here's to the one that loves me best!
Who shares with me my humble lot.
Who's glad when I am glad
And sorry when I am not;
Who goes wherever I want t® go
And never asks me why;
Who does whatever I want him to,
An*1 never told a lie!
My dog.
TO.THE STENOGRAPHER.
Here's to the queen who pounds the keys*
Who makes you r'tcn forget your wife.
With smiling face tries hard to please;
She's the one bright spot in the office life*
TO THE LANDLORD.
May you always have some money
Left from the money you have spenw
To greet your landlord with a sneer
When lie com^" calling for the rent
TO MY GIRL.
Here's to the maid with golden hair!
With deep blue eyes and skin so fair;
With dimples and pearly teeth so rare;
Whose lips I'd kiss, but I don't dare;
Who smiles on all but doesn't care
For anyone else when I am there.
TO YE BENEDICT.
Here's hoping you may always have go©<3
health,
A cosy home and a loving wife;
And the necessary coin in your pocket
To procure these luxuries of life.
TO THE COLLEGE BOY.
Here's to the College Boy!
With his funny clothes and hideous yells';
Who studies football tricks and footlight
belles;
Who always is foolish but never bad,
Who spends all the money earned by his
dad
He's the village pride and his mother's Joy,
So here's long life to the College Boy,
TO THE OFFICE BOY.
Here's long life to the ©ffice boy!
Who never smokes, chews or lies %
Who's never late and never kicks;
Whose grandmether never die?!
TO THE CLUBMAN
May your feet always **o where you want
them to ;
May your blinking ey^** never see double;
Ma,r your keyhole stand still in its right-
ful place,
0nd the good Lord keep you out ©#
trouble
When you're druak,
#
zero's a health to those we love best-
Our noble skives—God bless us;
None better and many a damn sight worse,
Onnk today, and drown all sorrow;
Jsfou hluU, per)"5os, not do it tomorrow.
—Beaumont and Fletcher
Leave politics to statesmen and thinkers,
i3ut be jolly here with merry drinkers.
Were't the last drop in the well,
As I gasp'd upon the brink,
Ere my fainting spirit fell,
'Tis to thee that 1 would drink.
—Byron,
To the old, long life and treasure;
To the young, all health and pleasure.
Let the world slide, let the world go;
A fig for care, and a fig for woe;
If I can't pay, why I can owe,
And death makes equal the high and lo%v
—HeywocxL
Here's to 3rou- in wine,
<Uood old wine!
i will be your love
And you will be miner
1 will be constant,
You will be true,
And Til leave my happy home and everything i®t
you—
rust ior a little while.
To our Fat Friends: May their shadows nevef
grow less.
from woman's eyes iMs doctrine I derive:
They are the books, the arts, the academies,
That's hows contain, and nourish all the world.
—Shakespeare,
To Murage: The happy estate which resembles
a pair of shears; so joined that they cannot be
separated; often moving in opposite directions,
yet always punishing anyone who comes between
them.
Yesterday, This Day's Madness did prepare,
Tomorrow's Silence, Triumph or Despair.
Drink! for you know not whence you came nor
why;
Prink! for you know not why you go nor where.
—Omar Khayyam.
Here's to the girl I love,
I wish that she were nigh,;
If drinking beer would bring her here,
I'd drink the damn place dry.
A creature not too bright or good
For human nature's daily food.
—Wordsworth.
Here's to Philosophy: It may eonquer past &f
future pain, but toothache, while it lasts, laughs
*t Philosophy.
A dinner, coffee and cigars,
01 friends, a half a score,
Each favorite vintage in its turn,—
What man could wish for more?
6
Here's to the wings of lover-
May thsey never moult a featbe*,
^Hl my big boots and yorar llfe^e da©,
*re under the hed together.
To Charity: A mantle of heavenly W€<affiiQf&,
ased to cover the faults of our neighfoom
To Woraaiv The better half of man.
Here's to a Pat Hand of Queens: Mother, Wife,,
Sister and Sweetheart; the noblest of all CkxFs
ereatioas—pure, beautiful woman.
Here's to those that lore us,
If we only cared;
Here's to those that we'd love.
If we only dared.
Bere's to the maiden of bashM fifteen?
Here's to the widow of fifty;
Here's to the flaunting, extravagant queen,
And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.
Let the toast pass—
"Drink to the lass,
fll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass,
—Sheridan.
May the Lord love us, but not call us too soon.
To Our America: The best land la the worH$
let him that don't like it, leave it.
lb Woman: She needs no eulogy; gbe apeals
for herself.
f
THE AMERICAN NAVY.
With the bulldogs of war
Standing guard on our coasts
All fears Df attack quickly vaniah;
Maimed with hearts that are true
To the Red. White and Blue,
They'll make all our icemen ." v%lk Spanish.**
SIXTEEN YEAES AFTER.
Knock and the world knocks with you,
Boast and you boast alone.
The bad old earth is a foe to mirth,
And has a hammer as large as your own.
Buy and the gang will answer,
Sponge and they stand and sneer;
The revelers joined to a joyous sound
And shout from refusing beer.
Be rich and the men will seek you,
Poor, and they turn and go—
You're a migt uy good fellow when you are mel-
low,
And your pockets are lined with dough.
Be flush and your friends are many,
Go broke and you lose them all.
You're a dandy old sport at $4.00 a quart.
But not if you chance to fall.
Praise and the cheers are many,
Beef and the world goes by,
Be smooth and slick and the gang will stick
As close as a hungry fly.
There is always a crowd to help you
A copious draught to drain,
When the gang is gone you must bear alone
The harrowing stroke of pain.
s
" THE CYPHER/'
A place that is dear to true Bohemians—
A place that exists in the hearts ~* those who
love it,
A place where hearts beat light, and hands grasp
firm;
Where poverty is no disgrace and charity does
not eh ill;
A place where kindred virtues have tied for refuge
And Mrs. Grundy has no sway.
THE SPHERE OF WOMAN-
They talk about a woman's sphere 4s though it
had a limit;
There's not a place in earth or heaven.
There's not a task to mankind given,
There's not a blessing or a woe,
There's not a whispered yes or no,
There's not a life or birth,
That has a feather's weight of worth—without ft
woman in it.
OUR ABSENT FRIENDS.
Although out of sight, we recognize them wit!
our glasses.
OUR COUNTRY.
To her we drink, for her we pray,
Our voices silent never;
For her we'll fight, come what eome may.
The Stars and Stripes forever!
Here's Champagne to our real friends.
And real pain to our sham friends.
Here's to the wings of love;
May they sever moult a feathery
Until your little barque and my little barque
Sail dowa the stream of life together
THE MAINE.
A mighty nation mourns thee yet
Thy gallant crew—their awful fate;
And Justice points her finger straight,
Lest we forget—lest we forget t
HOME.
T\jj father's kingdom; the child's paradise; the
mothers world.
Here's to those that I love;
Here's to those who love me;
Here7s to those who love those I love,
'Aad here's to those who love those who love mee
—Favorite Toast of 0u£d».
Sparkling aad bright in the liquid light.
Does the wine of our goblets gleam in;
^Fith hue 21s rsd as the rosy bed
^Meh a bee would choose to dream in,
TJien fill to-night, with hearts as light,
7c love as gay and fleeting
As bubbles that swim on the beaker's brim,
AM break ©a the lips while meefcrag.
—Chaa?l«» Fe»o Kofinmn.
May we have tike unspeafeaMe go©d fortune to
*Hfa a true heart, and the merit to feeep it.
If
TOAST ©&«£ BT DYING ENGLISHMAN ' IM
THE BLACK HOLE OF CALCUTTA.
Stand to y&ar glasses steady,
Asd drlak to your ©a&irade's eyes:
Here's a e«p to the dead Greedy,
Afid hunrah for tha nest that dies.
While we live, let's live in elover,
For wkec we're dead, we're dead all over.
Drink to Hie only with thine eyea,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss within tfee cuf>,
And I'll not look for wine.
The thirst that from the soul doth risk
Doth ask a drink divine;
But might I ©I Jove'9 nectar sup,
I would not change from thine.
—Boa Johnsor
Hera's t© vera, my dear,
And to the dear that's »ot here, my dear,
B«t if the dear that's not here, my dear,
Were here, my dear,
Yd not be drinking to you, my dear.
'Ere's to the 'ealth of your Royal 'Ighnessi
hand rmy the skin ®' ha gooseberry be big
enough for han hurabfp'>*,<i to cover up hall .your
enenaiee*.
—€add> 6 Toast in " Ermime."
The g-oor' die young—
Here's hoping that you may live to a ripe oM
%gee
11
FMENDSaiP.
* May its barbae never founder on the rock? o*
decention.
Here's health to the gi** who will drink when she
earn;
Here's health to the girl who will " rush the tin
can,"
And health to the girl who can danee the caa-
ean-—
"¥is the canny toast of an uncanny man.
THE CYNICTS TOAST.
Here's to the glass we so love to sip,
It dries many a pensive tear;
'Tis not so sweet as a woman's lip,
But a d----- sight more sincere.
Here's to woman, whose heart and whose soul
Are the light and the life of each spell we pur-
sue;
Whether sunn'd at the tropics or chilled at the
pole,
If women be there, there is happiness too.
Thus ©ircling the eup, hand in hand, ere ^
drink,
Let sympathy pledge us, through pleasure,
through pain,
'Fh&t, last as feeling brat touches one link,
H«r magic shall send it direct through the
chain. —Thomas Moore*
n
' Here's to the press, the pulpit and the. petti-
coat, the three ruMag p®wei?s of the day. The
nrst spreads kuowIe1%e> the se*©«d spreads mor'?.
and the third spreads over a jaamltitude of sins.
—Edg«rt©a Harvey;
HOME.
The place where you are treated best and grum-
ble most.
A fig" then for Burgpndy, Claret or Mountain,
A few scanty glasses must limit your wish;
But he's the true toper that goes to the fountain*
The drinker that verily " drinks like a fish!"
—Thomas Hood.
Here's a sigh to those who love me,
And a smile to those who hate;
And whatever sky's above me,
Here's a heart for every fate.
Werc't the last drop in the well,
As I gasped upon the brink,
Ere my fainting spirit fell,
Tis to thee that I would drink.
—Lord Byron.
You may run the whole gamut of color aud
shade,
A pretty girt—however you dress her—
Is the prettiest thing that ever was made,
A»4 tlm ia»t PR© is always the prettiest.
Bless htrt
A SPREAD-EAGLE TOAST.
Thfe Boundaries of Our Country: East, by tin
Rising Sim; north, fey the North Pole; west, by
«B Creation; and south, *«p the Day of Judgment,
When e'er with Mends I drink
3t one I always think:
She's pretty, she's witty, and so tme;
So with joy and great delight
I'll drink to her to-night,
And when doing so think none the less of yovt
-J. H. M. /
»
Here's to the American Eagle: The liberty
bird that permits no liberties.
A PLACID LIFE.
May we never murmur without cause, and neyef
k&ve cause to murmur.
Here's to the merry old world,
And the days—be they bright or blue-
Here's to the Fates, let them bring wha
they may,
But the best of them all—That's yon
Here's a toast to ah who are here,
No matter where you're from;
May the beet day you have seen
B* worn* thta your worst t©
M
i! drink it as the Fates ordafn it,
Cmae, fill it, and have doi-e with rhyraeSf
Fill up the lonely glass and drain it
In. memory of dear old times.
Happy are we met, Happy have we been,
Happy may we part, and Happy meet aaaia*-
Here's to you two and to we tw©?
If you two love we two
As we two love you two,
Then here's to we four;
But if you two don't love we two.
As we two love you two,
Then here's to we two and no more.
May Dame Fortune ever smile on you
But never her daughter—
Miss Fortune.
Whea going up the hill vt Prosperity,
May you never meet, any friend coming dowit
Here's a health to the Future;
A sigh for the Fast;
We can love and remember,
And hope to the last.
And for all the base lies
That the almanacs hold,
While there's love in the hosm
^fe ea-n sever grow &kL
Here's to woman, present and past,
And those who come hereafter;
^ut if one comes here after us,
We'll have no cause for laughter.
ACTIVE FRIENDSHIP.
May the hinges of friendship never grow rusty.
Here's to the white man's wife—
The white man's aid,
But not his burden.
Here's to the four hinges of Friendship—
Swearing, Lying, Stealing and Drinking.
When you swear, swear by your country;
When you lie, lie for a pretty woman,
When you steal, steal away from bad company
And when you drink, drink with me.
Enjoy the spring of Love and Youth,
To some good angel leave the rest,
For all t©c soon we learn the tru*h;
There are no birds in last year's nest.
We come into this world all naked and bare;
We go through this world full of sorrow asrtl
care;
We go out of this world, we know not where,
B«t if we're good feUews here, we'll* be ®m*
T«vOve memory of
GEORGE WASHINGTON",
The childless father of seventy millions
l fill this cup to one made up
Of loveliness alone,
A woman, of her gentle sex
The seeming paragon.
Her health! and would on earth there stood
Some more of such a frame,
That life might be all poetry,
And wearii?oss a name.
—Edward Coate Pickney.
May we have more and more friends, and needl
them less and less.
Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,
Sermons and soda-water the day after.
—Lord Byron-
Drink ye to her that each loves best,
And if you nurse a flame,
That's told but to her mutual breast,
We will not ask her name.
—Thomas Campbell,
Bere*s to American valor,
May no war require it, but may ti e?er b*
Sffiif for e?@«f to«,
I?
Dru-k to iair woman, who, I thjp\
Is most entitled to i;,
for if anything ever can drive me to drinK,
She eertainJy cosld do it.
—B. Jabez Jenkins,
Here's to turkey when you are huufe
. Champagne when you £ .re dry,
A. pretty girl when you need he>
And heaven when you die.
Our Country; May she always Lo in the tight■-
but right or wrong'—Our Court cry,
—Stephen Decatur,
Here's to our sweethearts and our wives %
May our sweethearts soon become our wive®;
Xnd our wives ever remain our sweethearts.
Here's to Our Friends,
Whether absent on land or sea,
Here's to the girls of the American shO'Pft,
I love but one, I love no more*
Since she's not here tc irink her part.;
Ill drink her share with all my hear*
OABEFUIi KINDNESS,
Ma*r W$ aever crack a joke or break $ fezmto
18
Here's to the prettiest,
ilere's to tfae wittiest,
Here's t» the trwsst of all who STe trae.
Sere's to tfee neatest cme,
Here's t® the sweetest one,
Here's t® them all in jaa—feeFfe*9 to ye*u
Hp^'s to a bird, a b©4tle aisd an open-wort
stocking,
There'© nothing in this that's s« very sfeQ«king.
The bird came from Jersey, the bottle from
France,
The open-work stocking was seen at a daaee.
fare's to the tears of affection:
May they crystallize as they fall,
And become pearls, so in after years
lb bs worn in memory of those whom we h&W
loved.
Hail to the graduating girl,
She's mfiM&r, far, tiian some,
For while ibe speaks she talks bo sl&ag
Aa$ etera »o chewing giam.
Laugh at all things,
„ Great and small things
Sick or well, at sea or &wm$
While we're quaffing-,
ket's have laughing
W$m the devil cares for v»@ref
k little Health, a little wealth,
A little house and freedom, ^
With some few friends for certain 68dS,
But 4ittl<4 erase to need 'era.
And the night shall be filled with musi&
And the cares that Infest the day
3hall fold their tents like the Arabs,
And as silently steal way.
—Longfeiioir-
Harems to Woman,
MTho ia our hours of ease,
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please,
Bn4: seen too oft—familiar with thy face,
First we pity, then endure and then embrace,
OUR INCOMES.
May we have a head to narn and heart to spec*
The health of those we love the best: Osx?
t©ble selves.
Fill the bowl with flowing wine,
And while your lips are wet,
Press thedr fragraoee into mine
And forget,
Every kiss we take a»d give
heaves us less of life to live.
May the happiest days of your past
& the Mtg&et Says of ytmr fct&wre.
Here'* to the lasses w*Ve lovec\ ny? lad,
;fere*s to tlie lips we'ro pressed;
For of kisses and lasses,
Like liquor in glasses,
^he last is always the best.
Here*s to a long life and a merry one,
A. quick death and an easy one,
A. pretty girl and i true one,
A cold bottle ant. another one.
l%e world is filled with flowerg,
The flowers are filled with de1*"©
The dew is filled with love
For you and you and you.
Here's to you as good as you are,
And to me as bad as I am;
As good as you are and as bad as I am,
I'm as good as you are, as bad as I axa,
AMERICA.
^^Our hearts, our hopes are all with thee,
. Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, our tearq.
.. Our faith triumphant o'er our fears,
i> s all with thee, are all with thee,"
THE CHATTERBOX.
Ifaj he give us a few brilliant fishes of
$1
<*«» C
.—--^JT
0$r National Bird*,
THE AMERICAN E&3LE,
T?iIE TEANKS&ITO7® TURKEY
May CBe give us peace in a\i our states,
5tte otter a piece for all our plates.
Here's to tl&e Meads we class as eld,
Aaad here's t® tfeose we class as newf
May the new soon grow to us old,
And the ©Id ne'er grow t© us new*
fiere's to the swan that swixas near yon fai£
shore;
I love one truly and I love no more;
Kay willow branches bead and break
Before that ©ne I shall forsake.
A mighty pain t« love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains the greatest pain
It Is to love anil l®ve in Tain,
Endless torments dwell about thee,
Yet who would live and live without theeb
May those now love
Who've never lemA bc*?*»')
May those who've Iwml
Now JK*¥e the
Here's to Love, the only fire against whicfc
thare Is no insurance.
THE NATION*
*fay it *Je no North, no South, no East, no
vVestp br»* enly one broadP beautiful, glorious
/ •—,-------------.-----------------__
ftla* all single men be married.
And all married men be happy.
OUR COUNTRY'S EMBLEM,
The Lily of France may fade,
liie Thistle and Shamrock wither^
The Oak of England may decay,
But the Stars shine on forever.
sSere's to champagne, the drink divine*
That makes us forget our troubles;
It's made of a,dollar's worth of wine
' And three dollars' worth of bub^«s
* wUl drink to the woman who wrought my wc£
»?> the diamond morning of long ago;
To the splendor caught kom the orient skies
that thrilled in the dark of her fcazel eyes,
lex large eves filled with the fire of the south,
&nd the dewy wine of her warm re:I mouth.
—Winte
Health to the bold and dashing coquette,
Who eareth not for me;
Whose heart, untouched by love as yet,
Is wild and fancy free.
Toasts of love to the timid dove
Are always going 'round;
Let mine be heard by the untamed bird.
And make your glasses sound.
Yesterday's yesterday, while to-day's here;
To-day is to-day till to-morrow appear;
To-morrow's to-morrow until to-day's past,
And kisses, are kisses as long as they last.
Friend ©f my soul! this goblet sip—
* Twill chase the pensive tear;
'Tis not so sweet as a woman's lip5
But, O! 'tis more sincere.
Like her delusive beam,
'Twill steal away the mind,
But unlike affection's dream ^
It leaves no sting behind.
—Tom Moore.
ffHfcEE GREAT COMMANDERS.
Hay we always be under the orders of General
Peace, G^iieral Plenty and General Prosperity,
24
Through this toilsome world, alae.
Once, and only once, we pass,
11 a kindness we may show,
If a good deed we may do
To our suffering fellow-men,
Let us do if: when we can,
i>Tor delay it, for 'tis plain
We shall not pass this way again.
May good fortune follow you all your days,
(And never catch up with you).
—An Irishman's Toast.
Let's be gay while we may,
And seize love with laughter.
I'll be true as long as you,
And not a moment after.
Here's to the man who loves his wife,
And loves his wife alone,
For many a man loves another man's wife,
When he ought to be loving his own.
Some hae meat and canna' eat,
And some wad eat who want ii,,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
:k> kt the Lord be thankit. ,
—Buras*
85
Here's to one and only one.
And may that one be she
Who loves but one and only one,,
And may that one be me.
0f all your beauties, one by one,
I pledge, dear, 1 am thinking
Before the tale were well begun
I had been dead of drinking.
Here's to Love, a thing so divine;
Description makes it but the less.
'Tis what we feel but cannot detine,
'Tis what we know but cannot express.
THE MAN WE LOVE.
He who thinks the most good and speaks the
ieast ill of his neighbors.
Here's to our wives and sweethearts^
And ra&y they never meet.
FALSE FRIENDS.
Mt.y we never have friends who, like shadows,
keep close to us in the sunshine, only to desert
m ®n a cloudy day or in the nigfefcl
m, ^vimmimmmmmmmM
Here's a health to all good lassies.
Here's to ©ae another and o»e other,
Whoever he or §he maj be.
May the juice of the grape enliven each soul,
And good humor preside at the head ©f e
bowl.
Pledge it merrily; fill your glasses f
Let the humper toast go round.
Drink, boys, drink, and drive away sorrow***
Perhapa we may not drink again to-morrow.
May the barque of friendship- never founder lm
the well of deception.
Here's lovers two to the maiden fews^,
And four to the maid, caressing;
But the wayward girl with the lips that ■
Keeps twenty lovers guessing.
May the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds
of despair.
Success to our array, success to our fleet,
May our foes be compelled to bow down at our
* feet.
The Frenchman loves his native wine,
The German loves his beer,
The Englishman loves his 'alf and 'aif,
Because it brings good cheor;
The Irishman loves his "whisky straight,"
Because it gives him dizziness;
The American has no choice at all,
So he drinks the whole d----- business.
Here's to the girl that I love,
And here's to the girl who loves me,
And here's to all that love her whom I love,
And all those that love her who loves me.
Here's to the girl that's strictly in is,
Who doesn't lose her head even for a minute,
Plays well the game and knows the limit,
And still gets all the fun there's in it.
Hay prosperity t;verbe the attendant ot a htraiaa
„^d benevolent heart.
Woman: Gentle, patient, self-denying; without
&er, man world he a sayage and the earth a desert.
The Ladies: They are the sweetness of our recrea-
tions, the alleviators of our toils and troubles, and
the great inciters to noble, deeds and gallant acts.
May we have those in our arms that we love in our
hearts.
The Trade of America —The Workshop of the
World: Let its prosperity become as unbounded as
its resources and industry are unlimited.
May the gates of consolation be ever open to the
children of affliction.
May our friends always possess health, honor, and
happiness,
May the lamp of friendship be lighted with the ot>
of sincerity.
May the youth of our country ever walk In the
paths of virtae, honor, and truth.
Success to the farmers of America--maY they
always reap a golden harvest.
The Fifteenth Year of Wedlock: A matrimonial
&age chiefly remarkable for its Tumblers.
The Press of Our Country; The engine of our lib-
erty, the terror of tyrants, and th§ aciieolmaater <sf
tto* >e**At* world*
m
The man that feels for sorrows not his own.
May our wants be redded and our comfor' ) In-
creased.
May we never know want till relief is at haikX
Gratitude to acknowledge favors done.
May we never be blind to our own errors.
May the tears of sensibility never cease to flow.
May the honey of rectitude sweeten th<i bitterness
of sorrow.
May our wants be sown in so fruitful a eoil as to
produce immediate relief.
May onr ples-w^ea be free from the stings of re
morse.
May the prison gloom be cheered by the rays off
hope, and liberty filter the arms of oppression.
May care be a stranger to the honest heart.
May the judgment of our judges ftever be biassed.
May those who fall by misfortune be lifted by th«
hand of real friendship.
May the difference of all creeds be ever left at t&t
gate of prayer.
May the deformity of other msa's vices teaefe tt§
to abhor oar own.
May we never speak to deceive, nor li»t*»*%
to betray.
39
Firmness in the Senate, valor to the field, and Imp*
fc&ude on the waves.
May foreign principles never corrupt Amer^os
manueis.
May peace aoide with the friends of Astedoa
throughout the world.
' May fiie hearts of oar sons be staunch and trae,
and ©ur daughters faultless and innocent.
May the sons of America never forget the straggles
of their fathers and the fortitude of their mothers,
The firemen's bright stars on parade and rainbows
of hope in the storm of danger.
Good attachment, free plugs, full pumps, and fair
play to all true firemen.
May he who deceives a fireman by a false alarm
be the first to need his aid and the last to be served
by him.
The Fireman's Widow: May the memory of her
hwsband'g services prove her passport to every h«bi*
Nation and win her a welcome in every heart.
May health paint the cheek and sincerity the
mfade
May ^tee Cj the cup v / , charity guide* ®m
hand.
May the morning of prosi arify shine on the ev©>
ttmg of adversity.
TH® AMERICAN'S TOAST.
Here's to the memory of those who fought
ind bled with Washington to secure our glor-
ious constitution. The glorious memory of
our ancestors, who in 1775, at Bunker HillB
ghed ^fceir itfe-blooa to establish our lioerties.
Here's to Poker—Like a glass o£ beer, yota
%aw to fill.
Of all your beauties, one by on%
f nlede-e, dear* I am thinking
Before tne tale were well begun
1 had been dead of'drinking.
TK$ DRUMMER'S TOAST,
Fill, boys, and drink about;
Wine will banish sorrow!
Come, drain the goblet out?
We'll have more to-morrow.
May tfi© i^dssoms of love never be blighted,
&nd a true-hearted young woman never '*&
slighted,
m
*is better to smoke here thai* hereafter
TO TBI WIDOW.
Be .*# fie? virtues very kind
Be to hsv faults a little Wind.
—Prior.
TO TH® WIDOWER.
Here's to wedlock, which like wine, not
properly judged of until the second glass.
—Jerrold.
GRACE GEORGE'S TOAST IN •* PRETTY-
PEGGY."
Here*s to the men! God bless them*
Worst of me sins, I confess them!
In loving them aUi be they great or small*
So Ke»*^ to the boys! God bless them!
May the lovers of the fair sex never wax!
meaa^ *** support and spirit to defend the*?*
Brisk wine and lovely women are
The source of all our joys;
A bumper softens every care*
And beauty never cloys.
Then let us drink and let us lov©
While yet our hearts are gay;
Womea and wine we all approve
As blessing night and day.
THB MUSICIAN'S TOAST.
May a crotchet in the head never bar the
utterances of good notes. May the lovers ot
iaarmony never be in want of a note, and its
enemies die in a common chord.
Here's to a good wife,
The greatest blessing Heaven can send—
FAST FRIENDS.
It's better to make friends fast
Than to make fast friends.
The drink comforteth the brain and heart
and helpeth the digestion.
—Francis Bacoa.
WHAT CARE I.
t build my castles in the air.
They end in smoke I don't care.
TO7 THE WIDOW.
Here's to the widow who, like ripe fruit*
drop easily from their perch.
Ireland and America—May the former sooa
be as free as the latter, and may the latter
never forget that Irishmen were instrumental
la securing the liberty they now enjoy.
Here's to a hearty supper, a good bottle,
and a soft bed, to every man who fights the
battles of his country.
Our drink shall be water, bright, sparkling
with glee,
The gift of our God, and the drink of the
free.
Here's to the Ladies—We admire them for
their beauty, respect them for their intelli-
gence, adore them for their virtue, and low
them, because we can't help it
May our faults be written on the sea-snore,
and every good action prove a wave to wash
them out.
Come In the evening, come in the morning,
Come when you're looked for, or come with
out warning;
A thousand welcomes you'll find here before
you,
And the oftener you come here, the moS%
we'll adore you.
Pleasure that comes unlooked for is thric*
weleome.
Women—I>et us not forgp* that when met
Is most enlightened, she is most respeoteft
and be loved.
Yesterday's, yesterday., while to-day's *>er6.
To-day's, to-day until tomorrow appears,
Tomorrow'o, to^^rrow until to-day's past
And kisses are kisses as long as thsy last.
May we never envy those that J*" happy,
but strive to imitate them.
TO THE FOREMAN.
While poets chant h*. wild, enraptured lays
The seaman's valor, or the soldier's praise,
A theme as noble claims my present toaft;
It Is***** The Fireman, our city's bo&st.**
TOAST AT A WEDDING.
Eirery wedding, says the proverb,
Makes another, soon or late.
Never yet was marriage entered
In the heavenly book of fate.
But what the names were also written*
Of a patient pair who wait.
Whose will be the next occasion
For the flowers, the feast, the wine*?
Thine, perchance, fairest maiden.
Or, who knows it may be mine.
What if 'twere, forgive the fancy,
What if 'twere both thine and mine.
The liberty of the press and success to Its
defenders.
THE SURGEONS TOAST.
Here's to the man that bleeds foi nfs coua*
try.
Thus circling the cup, hand in hand, ere w©
drink,
ket sympathy pledge us, through pleasure,
through pain,
That, fast as feeling but touches one £B&e
Her magic shall sena" it direct through the
chain.
TO OUR CHEF.
We may live without poetry, music anS a*k|
Ye may live without conscience and live
without heart;
We may live without friends and live with-
out books;
But civilized man cannot live without cooks.
We may live without books—what is knowl-
edge hut grieving?
We may live without hope—what is hope but
deceiving? ^
We may live without love—what is passion
but pining!
But where is the man taat can live without
dining?
Here's to the tears of affection;
May they chrystallize as they fall,
And become pearls, so in after, years
To be Wtorn in memory of those whom M
Slave loved.
38
Here's to Industry—The rrght haad of for*
tune, the grave of care, and the cradle at
sontest.
Here's to Columbia, free/laws an$ a tree
church,
Prom their blessings may platters be left la
the lurch;
Give us pure candidates and a pur© ballot*
box,
And our freedom shall stand as.Srm as the
rocks.
May those that are single get wives to their
mind,
And those that are married true
find.
Almighty pain to love, it is;
And 'tis a pain, that pain to miss;
But, of all pains, the greatest
It is to love and love In vaia9
Here's to tfee fcerocs wla© <@oii@ai i$® tl%®$,
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows along like a song:
But the man worth while is the one who wMl
smite
Whea <*?eryth!ng goes *&& wrong.
Here's to our Chief Magistrate—May the
greeting which he has received from the
hearts cf the people be repaid by his faith*
• £al honor and fidelity.
We*ll drink to love! Love, the one irresti-
ble force that annihilates distance, caste,
prejudice and principles! Love, the pastime
of the Occident, the passion of the East!
Love, that stealeth upon us, like a thief in
the night, robbing us of rest, but bestowing
in its place a gift more precious than the
sweetest sleep! Love is the burden of mf
toast Here's looking at you!
% YANKEE TQAJ3T.-
The Boundaries of Our Country^East, bf
the Rising Sun; north, by the North Pole;
west, by all creation; and south, by the Dm
01 Judgment.
iiere 8 to o^r country— W&ere's the cowan
-4J8t would not dare to fight for such a land,
mUllMUHP )m-"-|-r ll*
M&* «*e never be done so much as to make
tut crusty.
Here's to the rich widow who cries witit
one eye* and rejoices with the other*
Here's to woman, by - mature a thing #f
change.
Here's to marriage, a feast where the gracfc
Is sometimes better than the dinner*
TO OUR CITY.
Here's to our City, greater than ever before.
May she continue to expand on the lines of
fcrosperity and in Charitable and Educational
tnmtfttione.
to,£ tlic happiest days of your paS&
<9& the saddest days of your future.
May the road of h^noiness be fighted by '
.virtue.
EUGENE FIELD'S tOA&T TO THE LABIE&
The wimmin!
So let us all; yes, by that love which all our
lives rejoices,
By those dear eyes that speak to us Wt2.S
love's seraphic voices.
By those dear arms that will infold us when
we sleep forever,
By those dear lips that kiss the lips that
may jpve answer never,
By mem'ries lurkin* in our hearts an* all
our eyes bedimmin*,
We'll drink a health to those We love ao*
who love us—the wimminl
May you all be Hung, Drawn and Quartered!
Yes-—hung with diamond,
Drawn in a coaeh and four
Aad quartered in the best houses in the land.
Drink and the world drinks with yoa
Swear off and you drink alone.
Here's to th© lady we love and the fries*
we trust.
A health to the maid with a bosom of snow,
And to her with a face brown as a berry;
A health to the wife that looks up with woe,
> An4 a health to the damsel that's merry!
LADIES' TOAST. -
The soldiers of America,
Their arms our defence, our arms their wh
ward;
Fall in, men, fall in.
Here's to the President—His rights and a*
more.
THE NEWLY WEDDED PAIR.
May their Joys be as deep as the ocean,
&&4 their misfortune *s light as its foam.
Here's to the heart •
Though another's it tte;
Here's to the cheeks,
Though they bloom not for M*
May the members of Congress, "while they
are in Washington, never forget that they;
are the representatives of the people*
A good trite and health
ire a man's best wealth.
Here's to our American Boys—Who fcav©
arms for their girls, and arms for their coun-
try's foes.
Here's to old wine and young women.
May the best day you have seea be the
worst we have to come.
Here's to the Press—The w tonga© " of tbe
country; may it never be out out-
Here's to the man that values freedom
Nearer than his blood.
Here's to health to those we love best
'A tlieerful glass, a pretty lass,
A friend sincere and true,
Blooming health, good store of wealth*
Attend on me and you.
May he who thinks to cheat another, cheat
himself most
May we be rich in friends rather than it
money.
May die man who does not love his coum
try, neither live, die, nor be buried in it
Here's to an honest lawyer, a pious dlvfag
and a skillful physician.
ANCBEW JACKSON'S TOAS£.
** Ask nothing that is not clearly right,
iind submit to nothing that is wrong."
May good humor preside when good feltewf
meet,
fAnd reason prescribe when 'tis time to re*
troat
Here's to the day (Thanksgiving) when first
the Yankees
Acknowledged Heaven's good gifts Witfc
Thank'ees.
Here's to our Country—May those w%« 2tt
use her be speedily kicked off.
May we live happy and die in peace witfe
all mankind.
MEANING FOR IT, S. A.
The U stamds for th** Union eternal.
The S for the Stripes and Stars.
The A for our Army undefeated*
The victor in a dozen wars;
The U stands for our " Uncle Sammy/*
The S for our Ships in stern array,
The A for the Almighty One who guards <afr#
That's the meaning of lj» «, A.
A perfect woman, nobly' planned,
io ware, to comfort and command.
—Wordsworth
THE TOPbriS TOAST.
Here*e to a *c Dram " and a good long one.
Here's to the Lodge, may the lodges in this
place be distinguished for love, peace, and
Harmony.
After we have weathered the storm of life,
may we drop quietly and gratefully into the
harbor of enternal bliss.
Here's to friendship: May its lamp ever b«
supplied by the oil of truth and fidelity.
THE FAJ BRIM!.
May her voyage through life b^ as happy and
as free
As the dancing waves on the leep blue sea*
Wine Is good, tore Is good,
And all is good if understood?
The sin Is mot in doing,
But in overdoing.
Bow much of mine teas gosr^ that way!
Mast How much more that may?
here's & the widow the indigenous to all
crimes and wherever found is a source of
aggravation to woraen <*nd danger to men.
—©orthy Dis
Heres to Dteonie, with all its privileges
must continue to be a second rate bliss by
no means comparable to true marriage.
—Martin.
She's decidedly homely; I dent like hep eyet»
And the shade of her hair is a tint I despise,
Her complexion is bad, unattractive her chin;
Her mouth is too large, her nose is too thin.
But all of these things are but trifles In pffc,
Compared with true graces, ill make her iffy
wife,
For I gave up my seat in the street ear to her*
And she looked at me kindly and said*
" Thank you, sir."
Here's to an tamest man—The noblest wort*
—Andrew Jackson
Stay tboee who'd be rude to American joem
ffcel a thorn's fatal prick la their lips add
their noses.
THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM,
Let us drink to their health and prosperity;
may they have a joyous bridal trip, and may
their journey through life be over a pleasant
road without any embarrassment that energy
and love cannot easily overcome.
Here's to our Mayor—As vigilant and use*
lul In his present station as any officer in
the State, he fs one of those upon whom we
can look with nride, *nd say, " These are
c:t jewels."
MOTIWMWWW rOTIi'tf Willi I, i .I,
WB PA33STWU% TOAST.
When we work In the wet may we new
waftt for dryers.
THE SHOMAr^JTS TOAST*
May he stick to his last* asd ms$
CU&tomars stick to him.
Be who smokes* thinks like a philosopher*
To my good friend who gave me the advice,.
As marriage is a thing so nice,
That he who means to take a wife,
Had better think on't all his life.
MARRIAGE.
HerV* to marriage, an Institution where
@ne person undertakes to provide happinesf
for two.
Peace and honest friendship with all tt»
I&B9 ;entangling alliances with none.
QeK ^^od health to the boys far awast*
g&joy tto spring of Love and Youttts
To some good angei leave the rest,
$er all to soon we leaiaa the truth;
These* «re no birds in the last year's MS»
America forever! the land, boys, we Um iat
May that man never grow fat
Who carries two faces under one be£-
THE GLA2IER'S TOAST,
%e praiseworthy glazier who takes pfties
m tee Ms way through life.
Mr native land! I turn to you.
With blessing and w&fch prayer;
Where man Is brave and woman true.
And free, as mountain air*
iiong may our flag in triumph wave
Against the world combined,
fend friends a welcome—foes a graw,
Within eur borders find.
01
POPULARITY
^The man who has a thousand frien4&>
Has not a friend to spare,
f)pt he who has one enemy,
Will meet him everywhere.**
iOHKI ELEVEN O'CLOCK TOAST.
Look at the clock 'tis the hour of eleven.
Think of those on earth and those In heaven.
Think of wives, sweethearts and mothers,
Prink In silence to our absent brothers.
A health to our sweethearts, our friends aaf
our wives,
4tMS mar fortune smile on them the rest o*
their lives.
m* tfte tm from at**, to harmony «**£•>'
Where,
Oomblned just like brother and brother;
&&& this be our 'oast, tlS3 good " ftravuBMM*
boast:
§mmm and good will to each ofoer>
Here's to wins mm we like It better fte
skier it grows.
ta %-urn urn**^ FitATBEmjPf»
Here's to the bride and mother-in4aw»
Here's to tha groom and father-in-law.
Here's to the sister and brother-in-law,
Here's to the friends and friends*in-tewv
May none ot them needf an attorney-afc-Ja***
vm, babies.
Wot though they almost blush to reign.
Though love's own flowers wreathe the ObsJfc
Disguise the bondage as we will,
*Tis woman—woman rules us still*
THE LAWYER'S TOAST.
May the depth of our potations never esusf
u@ to let judgment go by default
May those who aw discontented with thefe
own country leave their country for theil
country's good.
Here's t© the widew wh© can learn you
more than a whole Smithsonian museum
of anthropology.
iSeme men want youth and others health,
Some from a wife will often shrink;
Some men want wit and others wealth—
May we want nothing hut to drink.
As f@r the women, though we scorn and
fondle 'em,
We may live with, but not without them.
Here's to Woman, the source of all ©ur
bliss,
There's a foretaste of heaven for us in
her kiss;
But from. Queen on her throne to a maid
in her dairy,
They're all alike in on© respect-
Contrary.
Herefe to ©ur Public Institutions—May
all ever be the honest endeavor of each
and every one of us to keep them as un-
blemished and untarnished as we received
them from our predecessors.
MARIAG&
He that's married once may be pardoned
his infirmity,
H© that marries twice is mad, *
But if you can find , a fool marryinig
thrice, don't spare the lad,
Flog bim, flog him back to school. ;
*—Garrick.
Here's to America—And may the land
of our nativity be ever the abode of free-
dom, and the birthplace of heroes.
Here's to the Ladies—With assiduity
we court their smiles; with sorrow we re-
ceive their frowns; but smiling or frpwnr
tag, we lave them.
CHARIOT,
Here's tm Charity, the brightest gem In
the Diamond of humanity. It elevates and
ennobles those who practice and follow its
sublime mission in dispelling sorrow and
suffering. May the luster of its brilliancy
never grow dim.
Here's to the Heart of an irisaman—A liv-
ing monument of the kind and generous feet*
lug—while the hand of Charity guides the
stream, may the hand of Wealth yield a per*
petuat aiyjpiy.
Here's to he health of everybody, left
somebody should feel himself slighted.
$HB IRISHMAN'S TOAST.
Here's to the liberty alt over the WQffAV
%M everywhere else.
A glass is good* a lass is good.
And a pipe to smoke in cold weather,
foe world Is good and the people are 0oe$»
MmdL we're all good fellows together.
TO TBM SuOSMAKm
»He*s a sticlc to me last,*
» Wte left his awl."
•• He pegged out**
-He was well heeled, but la-I ft* *■!•»*
* W& was on his uppegg^
May our io¥e at the glasss never m&ire ^
*sor^ec aeceacy.
Bart't to the Freedom of the Frei^feMtfe
'^published with honest motives aad act lor
profitable ends.
Here h5 to all those who have fougfei aa
Hied for America. •
ou) shoos.
Sow much a man Is like old shoes,
fbr instance* both a soul can lose,
Both have been tanned, both are made tight
By cobbblers, both get left and right,
Beth need a mats to be complete,
And both were made to go on feet,
With slices the last im first; with mat*
fhe first shall be the last; and when
The shoes wear out, they're mended too™
When men wear out they're men dead, too,
They both need heeling, both re-soled,
&n& both In time turn all to moulds
■f hey both are trod upon, and both
Will tread on others, nothing loath.
Both have their ties, and both Snoliis^
When polished, on the world to shine,
f hey both peg out, so would you choosf
'^ t.«e a man or be his shoes.
££@re*s to good humor; and may it «VW
**nilG at your board.
Here's to wlt—A very cheap eommotiltf
when uttered at the expense ot good breelK
tug and good sense.
Tlie girl that is witty.
The girl that is pretty,
$b& girl with an eye as mack as n fe'sa^-
Here's to girls of each station
O'er the Yankee nation,
in particular* one that I know*
Hay widows wed as often as they caife
And ever for better change their man.
And some devouring plagues persno theif
lives,
IPoo will mat W*$ feft governed by «bete
wives*
«-&ryam
Here s to the widows the greatest fan]@ %$
Hero* to trie single num. who without #
$ti£§ Is only a half a maa.
When wealth weds wealth In the gam* <&
life,
By cynics it Is stated,
"Us cot lor love, tut man and Wlfft
IJach wish to be efeeqae-mated
May we be slaves to nothing but oar duty*
TOd friends to nothing but real merit.
Here's to Knowledge and Wealth—Open ttt
Cfce acqnisitfon of aH» in the happy republic^
where St is our happiness to dwell.
Here's to my right hand Partner my Fcnst-
is!® Ben.
—AI Kteber*
The first duty of bacheterflm'
W& ting the city heUe&»
ere s to out President—May he al-*>-n?&
merit the esteem and affection of a people
ctery ready to bestow gratitude ©a toot*
Here's to the Good' Things- of ti. '9 Worto~
JPafBons are pvoacbing lor them, Lawyers af«
pleading for tt*.em» Physicians are prescribe
ing for them* Authors are writing for them
Soldiers are fighting for them, but true f*bHo>
eophers alone are enjoying them.
May Columbia's brave defenders
Ever stand for the good of her cause;
While such we can toast them, no rogues a*
pretenders,
Oan Injure our dear Constitution or lam
Here's to the Fourth of July—like oysters
It Oftunot be enjoyed without crackers.
THE TEACwER'S TOA0,
Here's to the three R's-Bea&ng, 'Ritiaf
«od 'Rithmetie.
fare's to woman, whose heart and whose sou*
Ai*e the light and the life of each spell w»
pursue;
Whether sunn'd at the tropics or chitted at
the pole,
If women be there, there Is happiness t&fe.
Here's to love; a thing so divine?
Description makes it but less.
•Sis what we feel but cannot define*
TfS what we know but cannot express*
May we always do good when we can—
speak well of the world, and never judge
Without the fullest proof.
Here's a toast to the host who carved th<
roast; , ^
And a toast to the hostess—may none eves
*:wm*" us.
May he that turns uls baclt on Ma frieaie
fall into the hands of his enemy.
\
. iHE GROCER'S TOAST,
Ml we spring up like vegetables, tsst&
airni^-noses, reddish ckeee&s, and carrot?
hair, and may our hearts never be hard, like
those of cabbages, nor may we be rottes at
the core.
Here's to commerce universally extended
And blood-stained war forever ended.
O'ULD IRELAND.
pat may be foolish and sometimes ver*
wrong,
Pat has a temper, which don't last very lom%
Pat's full of Jollity* that everybody kaowa*
You'll never find a coward where the sterna
rock grows.
TO OUR PRHSND3.
£he Lord gives crar relatives,
Mmk God we can caeose ms iHmW%*
Way this "be our maxim whene'er We aife
twirled,
A fig for the cares **t this whirligig world
To Woman :The fa^est work of the gi <sat
Author; the edition is large, and no man
should be without a copy.
May the devil cut the toes ©f all of our fpes,
That we,may know them by their limping.
May the chicken never be hatched that
will scratch on our graves.
Here's to the girl that's good and sweet,
Here's to the girl that's true,
Here's to the girl that rules my heart-
In other words, here's to you.
May we ever be able to serve a friend,
and noble enough to conceal it
Let schoolmasters puzzle their brain
With grammar and nonsense and learn*
ing;
Good liquor, I stoutly maintain,
Gives genius a better discerning.
—Goldsmith.
Here's to mend^ <c-i-lli near and far;
Here's to woman, i<.^n\s guidmg star;
Here's to friends wc'v yet to nu-ut,
Here's to those here-; all h^re I greet;
Here's to childhood, youth, old ag'_\
Here's to prophet, bard and sugw,
Here's a health to every one,
Peac^ «n ^arth, and heave** f'onl
6?
**od made man
As frail as a bubble,
God made love
And love made trouble,
God made wine,
And Is it any sin
F@r man to drink wine
To drown trouble in?
May the pleasures of youth never bring
Us pain in ©Id age.
May we live to learn weH
And learn to live welt
Among the good things
That good wine brings,
What is better than 1o"schter,
That rings
In a revefy,
That makes better friends
Of you and me.
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears and smiley
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength and skill,
k perfect woman nobly planned,
To warm* to eom^rt and command
^~~WordswQ»tii,
0 wad some pow'r the giftie gie us,
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us.
—-Burn^
64
^~-
"IT IS TO LAUGH"
New Joke Books
rOCKET EDITION
PRICE
CENTS
Eack b c»k contains 64 pages of very hinny
Jokes, Stories, Toasts, Conundrums, etc.
*No. 1
i " 3
I-
« 6
.« 7
New Jokes
New Coon Jokes
New Irish Jokes
New Dutch Jokes
New Hebrew Jokes
New Book of 400 Toasts
New Select Riddles
New After-Dinner
Stories
New Vaudeville Stories
New Book of Monologues
Combination Jokes
Prize Jokes
Kid Jokes
The Latest Tramp Jokes
Rube Jokes
Original Clown Jokes
Funny Epitaphs
New Book of Proverbs
New Black Face Min-
strel Jokes
Italian Dialect Joke Book
New Book of Card Tricks
New Book of Coin Tricks
Latest Stage Jokes
New Train Stories
New Actors' Jokes
No. 26 New Book of Parlor
Tricks and Magic
*4 27 Parlor Games and
Amusements
" 28 Auto Joke Book
" 29 The New Red Hot Joke
Book
31
32
33
34
35
Witches' Dream Book
Hash House Jokes
Up-to-Date Letter
Writer
Trolley Jokes
Wine, Women and Song
fortune Telling by
Cards
Ford Jokes and Stories
Modern Jokes and Mon-
ologues
Snappy Jokes
Burlesque and Variety
Breezy Jokes
How to Play Checkers
How to Play Chess
Some Jokes
Saucy Jokes
Any of the above will make you laugh,
A $1.00 worth of fun for 10 cents
,iny one of the above books sent postpaid upon receipt of
10 ctsi., or twelve books for $1.00 postpaid.
Address, I. & M. OTTENHEIMER, Publishers.
321 W. Baltimore St.. BALTIMORE, MD.
PRICE 10 CENTS
*VOU TELL 'EM'
THE LATEST IN FUNNY SAYINGS
Compiled by LESTER OTT
J VST OFF THE PRESS
You Tell 'Em Two Lips,
I have'nt got the Cheek.
This book cont ins 64 Paget
just full of "You Tell 'EmV
A 51.00 Worth of Fun.
Sent upon receipt of 10c. and 2c. extra for Pottage, |
PRICE 10 CENTS
"The Arkansaw I Saw"\
by DREAMY BILL
Just Issued - 64 Pages
Being a collection of Jokes an«* fanny
anecdotes collected by the author while |
traveling through the Arkansaw district.
Sometimes he rode, pushed or carried a
bicycle and when he had lots of time he
rode ©n trains. If you want it good laugh
be sure to order this book.
Bent upov receipt of 10c. and 2c. extra for postage*
321 W Baltimore St.* - Baltimore. Md