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Below is a webpage of songs from Bill Person's
website Operator-98.com. If you wish to verify the text below, check
the wayback machine's archive of this page:
http://www.operator-98.com/usafsslite/sstale8.htm
30 Vietnam era flying songs
including a bonus post-Vietnam ditty, "Pink Berets"
Compiled by: Bill Person
To contact Bill Person click on his byline above
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Contents
1. Red River Valley
2. Thunderthud
3. Will There Be a Tomorrow
4. Red River Rats' Battle Hymn
5. Downtown
6. Thud Ridge
7. SAC Pilots Down In Hell
8. Doumer Bridge
9. Golden Jock
10. Puff the Magic Dragon
11. Extracamouflagelistic
12. I'm a Lonesome Co-Pilot
13. Come and Join the Air Force
14. Another Verse
15. Give Me Operations
16. Air Force Lament (Vietnam Version)
17. I'm a Raven FAC
18. I Fly the Line
19. Pull the Boom From My Gas Hole
20. Jolly Green
21. Battle of 18.23
22. Dashing Through the Sky
23. Call Out the Reserves
24. Show Me the Way to Go Home
25. Happy Flier
26. Brassiere
27. Toothbrush
28. Flaming Fairies (Pink Berets)
29. Thud Theme
30. I've Played Around Too Long
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Red River Valley
( Song of Teak Flight at Takhli)
From this valley they say you are leaving
I will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile
For they say you are taking the sunshine
That has brightened this place for a while.
Come and sit by my side if you love me
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
And I'll tell you about the Red River Valley
And why it always makes me feel blue.
Way up yonder they say they've been going,
Where the Red flows by Hanoi to the sea,
And we call it the Red River Valley,
Where the flak is as bad as it can be.
To this valley he said we were flying,
But he never saw the pay that he earned,
Many jocks have flown into that valley
And a number have never returned.
So I listened as he briefed on the mission
That night at the bar Teak Flight did sing
About going to the Red River Valley
And how I was to fly on his wing.
Oh the flak was so thick in the valley,
That the MiGs and the missiles we don't need
We'd fly high and down sun in the valley
And I'll guard well the ass of Teak Lead.
Now if things turn to shit in the valley
And the briefing he gave I did not heed
They'll waiting at the Hanoi Hilton
Where it's fish heads and rice for Teak Lead.*
* Note: Teak One3 or the leader, Lead.
We refueled on the way to the valley
Back in the States it had always been fun
But with thunder and lightening all around us
'Twas the last A-A-R* for Teak One.
* Note: air-to-air refueling
The boss weasel* warned of Fan Songs** past the target
Tall white poles would rise to meet us in the sky
When we pulled up off of our bomb run
The SAMs were fused to hit us where we fly.
* Note: Boss weasel leads the fighters to attack surface-to-air
missiles.
** Note: Fan Song is a SAM radar, Guideline is SAM-2.
Our MiG chaser* jets were up high to guard the strike force
While twenty-ones took off from Kep and Phuc Yen
But gomer planes would be in place to jump our slow ones
And their cannon (rocket) bursts would surely do them in.
* Note: F-4s on Cap. fighter protection
The triple A rained up thick from the gunners
The orange flashes changed to black the sky
I followed Lead on down from the IP*
Dared not look up to see else I might die.
* Note: IP is Initial Point or start of bomb run.
Well Lead bore down through the flak toward the target
With his bombs and his rockets he drew a bead,
But he never pulled out of his bomb run
'Twas fatal for another Teak Lead.
So come and sit by my side at the briefing
We'll say a prayer as we tickle the beads
For we're going to the Red River Valley
And my callsign today is Teak Lead.
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Thunderthud
(Irv Levine Korat-1968)
I'd like to tell the story about the Thunderthud,
The bad you heard about it, is just a bunch of crud.
It took a lot of us up north and brought us back again
And the man who speaks against it will hear our mighty hymn.
HIM, HIM, FUCK HIM!
Oh hallelujah, hallelujah, throw a nickle on the grass,
Save a fighter pilot's ass. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Throw a
nickel on the grass and you'll be saved.
Oh it's heavy as heavy and you'll curse it like a cob,
It ain't no dinky sports car, it's built to do the job.
While the (F4s) others cry for Jollies to come and pick them up,
It's the One-Oh-Five that brought you to a cool one in the club.
So hallelujah, hallelujah, throw a nickel on the grass,
Save a fighter pilot's ass. Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Throw a nickel on the grass a you'll be saved.
Oh the F4 jocks are brazen, they're balls are made of brass,
They're shit hot and they'll tell you they're in a special class,
But let the bastards take one, to head them for the trees,
Then it's Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, won't you save me please.
Oh hallelujah, hallelujah, throw a nickel on the grass,
Save a fighter pilot's ass. Hallelujah, hallelujah. Throw a
nickel on the grass and you'll be saved.
Oh you say you fly up yonder and you're not afraid of flak,
You sail through hell of SAMs and MiGs, you're a mighty scrappy
chap.
You're shit hot and you know it, but the truth it is my friend,
It's the One-Oh-Five that took you there and brought you back again.
So hallelujah, hallelujah, throw a nickel on the grass,
Save a fighter pilot's ass. Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Throw a nickel on the grass and you'll be saved.
So don't you growl and grumble like a dog without a bone,
It's the one bird in the whole damn war that's built to bring you
home,
While the others stayed below the Red, you risked you ass and blood
so don't forget what took you there, the good old Thunderthud.
So hallelujah, hallelujah, throw a nickel on the grass,
Save a fighter pilot's ass. Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Throw a nickel on the grass and you'll be saved.
At last you did your hundred and now you're headed home,
Remember you were king up there while on that thunder throne,
With your hand upon its throttle, you're in a separate class,
You're a fighter-bomber pilot, let the others kiss your ass.
So hallelujah, hallelujah, throw a nickel on the grass,
Save a fighter pilot's ass. Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Throw a nickel on the grass and you'll be saved.
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Will There Be a Tomorrow
(Dick Jonas- 1969)
Can you say, will the sun rise tomorrow
Will there be any time left to borrow
Will the poet make a rhyme, will there be any time
Can you say will there be a tomorrow
Seems to me I have been here forever
Will this war ever end, maybe never
Will the dawn still arrive, will I still be alive
Or will I sleep alone here forever
There's someone who I'm sure, loves me only
She's the one on my mind, when I'm lonely
Does she know, can she see, is she still true to me
Does she know what its like to be lonely
>From the sea comes the sun, dawn is breaking
Soon the fight of my life, I'll be making
If I die over here, will they know, will they care
Will there be joy or hearts that are breaking
Can you say, will the sun rise tomorrow
Will there be any time left to borrow
Will the poet make a rhyme, will there be any time
Can you say will there be a tomorrow
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The Red River Rats Fighter Pilots' Battle Hymn
(Dick Jonas - 1969)
The Red River Rats meet again,
Telling tales, remembering when,
Battles joined in the skies,
Shed our blood, gave our lives,
The Red River Rats meet again.
War is never a beautiful thing,
But we fought for the right on the wing,
Dropping bombs, dodging flak,
Fighting MiGs, we'll be back,
Shouts the Rats' battle cry, let it ring!
Sing the Red River Rat's Battle Hymn
Hold your head high, stand tall, you are men.
Never run from a fight, be prepared day and night
Shout the Rat's battle cry, let it ring.
Look around, there's a few empty chairs,
Honored comrades should be sitting there,
Some are dead where they fell,
Some fought on in a cell,
Charge your glass, raise it high, drink to them.
I'll tell you a tale that'll curl your hair.
I'll tell you the truth 'cause I was there,
About what happened in Ho Chi Minh's backyard.
Gyrine, sailor and Air Force type,
Black smoke pouring from a hot tailpipe,
Flying and fighting and living a life that's hard.
Black smoke, flak smoke, red SAM fire,
Pressing your luck right down to the wire,
Then pickle 'em off and boot that mother for home.
But the battle's not over 'til you're parked and chocked,
So if you fly and fight, keep your guns unlocked,
And don't try to fly and fight when you're all alone.
What's that telltale wisp I see?
It's a contrail pulled by a Fishbed C
And the cards are stacked and it looks like time to deal.
Lead's got bandits at twelve o'clock high,
So let's bend 'em around and scramble for sky,
And arm your guns, this ain't no game, it's real.
We flew the valley and the railroad lines,
>From Dien Bien Phu to the Cam Pho mines,
And the price was high and measured in rich red blood.
When the deeds are told in the halls of fame,
And the warriors gather, you'll hear these names:
Skyhawk, Crusader, Intruder, Phantom, Thud.
The Red River Rats meet again,
Telling tales, remembering when,
Battles joined in the skies,
Shed our blood, gave our lives.
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Downtown
(Irv Levine-1968)
Well if the briefer speaks drawly
and your skin get's all crawly
you can bet you'll go, DOWNTOWN.
There's fear in your heart
and you're too scared to fart
Because you know you'll go. DOWNTOWN
You'll bomb a nit noy bridge in the heart of the city,
and get your ass shot off, oh it's really quite a pity.
Who logged this frag?
The SAMs are much brighter there
Your hair turns much whiter there, 'cause you are
Downtown, please don't send me there
Downtown, my pants always get peed there
Downtown, they're always waiting for me.
Now when I feel panic and I run to the clinic
And not have to go DOWNTOWN.
Get sick in a hurry and not have to worry
"Bout having to go, DOWNTOWN.
I tell the doc about my aches and how I feel so shitty,
He gives me lots of APCs and very little pity,
What should I do?
Should I take in stride or try to save up my hide but go
Downtown, where they will shoot me up,
Downtown, I'll throw my breakfast up
Downtown, they're always waiting at me.
Now, there is a solution and it won't take much goosing
to get me to go, DOWNTOWN.
Just load one right on me any old atom bomb me
and I'll take it Ho. DOWNTOWN.
Watch the shitheads run as I disintegrate their city,
Oh where did they all go? My that fireball's sure pretty,
Tough break there Ho.
Well your town is much thinner now, I'll go eat my dinner now
and not have to go again,
Downtown, 'cause it don't thrill me none
Downtown, where they will kill me some,
Downtown, their always waiting for me.
Downtown, Hanoi, Downtown.
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Thud Ridge
(Irv Levine- 1968)
Oh there are some hills in North Vietnam,
They call "old Thud Ridge" and they point on down
Towards the heart of town, past Hia Gia bridge.
For those who fly up yonder, through a hail of SAMs and flak,
Or a MiG on your tail, can really be hell
For some won't be coming back.
I can't recall his name now, and I can't show you the place
Where a friend was shot down near the heart of town
While tears ran down my face.
Woe to the kids and widow
Who bear their grief alone,
For their man who flew up yonder,
He won't be coming home.
I don't know that it's worth it,
That we hold a sacred trust,
There are those at home burn draft cards and groan
But they don't speak for us.
Now there are some hills in North Vietnam,
They call "old Thud Ridge" and they point on down
Towards the heart of town, past Hia Gia bridge.
Yes there are some hills in North Vietnam,
They call "old Thud Ridge" and they'll be there
'till the trumpets' blare to call the lost pilots home.
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SAC Pilots Down in Hell
(Based on a WWII Air Cadet marching song)
Oh, there are no SAC crew members down in hell.
No, there are no SAC crew members down in hell.
The place has racketeers and civilians drinking beer
But, there are no SAC crew members down in hell.
Now the A/C learned to fly with Orville Wright
Yes, the A/C learned to fly with Orville Wright.
He's got lots of flying time
But I think he's past his prime
And I don't think he can even see at night.
Our navigator's always in the dark,
Our navigator's always in the dark,
He's suppose to shoot the stars
But he flies the VORs
And Our navigator's always in the dark.
Our EWO is just another airborne clerk
Our EWO is just another airborne clerk
On the gravy train he rides,
When there's work to do, he hides
He ain't nothing but a spot promoted jerk.
Our radar thinks that he's a VIP.
Our radar thinks that he's a VIP.
He falls asleep in the climb
He don't even know the time
And we always have to wake him at the IP.
Our gunner is the worst one of the bunch
Our gunner is the worst one of the bunch
He's always down in town, chasing girlies all around
And he always has a case of beer for lunch.
So, there are no SAC crew members down in hell.
No, there are no SAC crew members down in hell.
They're all too scared to die, so they flunk their ORIs
So, there are no SAC crew members down in hell.
There are no chopper pilots down in hell
There are no chopper pilots down in hell
They bounce girlies on their lap
So they've always got the measels
And there are no chopper pilots down in hell.
All the Army chopper jocks are over at Fort Rucker
All the Army chopper jocks are over at Fort Rucker
They love it at Brigade cause they're always getting haircuts
And the Army chopper jocks are over at Fort Rucker.
Now, there are no Navy pilots down in hell.
No, there are no Navy pilots down in hell.
The Marines who guard the gate, they just like to make them wait
And there are no Navy pilots down in hell.
Now, they're sending the Marines down to hell.
Yes, they're sending the Marines down to hell.
They're going on the attack
They're gonna take that damn place back
So they're sending the Marines right down to hell.
We love our Donut Dollies, they are really great.
Yes, we love our Donut Dollies, they are really great.
They show they have some class
When they let us have some kool-aide.
And we love our Donut Dollies, they're really great.
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Doumer Bridge
(Irv Levine - 1968)
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
Doumer bridge, Doumer bridge.
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
And the bridge came tumbling down.
Eighteen December sixty-seven
At noon like a thunderclap
We dropped seven spans of Doumer bridge
Into Ho Chi Minh's wet lap.
Well now, we fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
I said Doumer bridge, Doumer bridge.
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
And the bridge came tumbling down.
You can talk about your river Kwai bridge
And the one at Than Hoa too,
But we dropped seven spans of Doumer bridge
Into the mud and goo.
So, we fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
Doumer bridge, Doumer bridge.
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
And the bridge came tumbling down.
Now we left some friends up yonder,
Due to SAMs and MiGs and flak,
But if Ho puts that damned bridge up
Well, we'll all be going back.
Yea, we fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
Doumer bridge, Doumer bridge.
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
And the bridge came tumbling down.
Ho says he holds all the cards boys,
And he plays them with great joy.
I wonder how he'd like a game of bridge
Up at old Hanoi?
Yea, we fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
Doumer bridge, Doumer bridge.
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
And the bridge came tumbling down.
For those who've gone before us,
Yes, those on that far shore,
We know we'll not forget them soon
But let's sing it just once more.
Yea, we fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
Doumer bridge, Doumer bridge.
We fought the battle of Doumer bridge,
And the bridge came tumbling down.
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Golden Jock
(Irv Levine - 1968)
Oh, my golden jock hangs on the wall
But it's been worn a lot since way last fall
Couldn't cover my ass, but it saved my balls
When I rode in the Thud in the morning.
CHORUS:
Oh, that golden jockstrap, oh, that golden jockstrap
The golden jock I always wear because it fits so neat
Oh, that golden jockstrap, oh, that golden jockstrap
The golden jock I always wear and I don't mean on my feet.
Oh my golden jock that I wore aloft,
Yours may be brass, but mine are soft,
And I didn't want Ho to shoot 'em off
When I rode in the Thud in the morning.
(Chorus)
Now if you're a fighter pilot with lots of dash
And you don't want Ho to ram one up your ass
Get a golden jock and it'll last and last
When you ride in the Thud in the morning.
(Chorus)
Now the 469th has no golden jock
But a camouflaged coat that they wear a lot
And I think it's just to hide the spot
When they snap their bean in the morning.
(Chorus)
Now the 44th Squadron don't snap their bean
Cause they like to keep their fingers clean
But they chase our nurses
If you know what I mean
Fore the ride in the Thud in the morning.
(Chorus)
Now the grunts run around like a bunch of squirrels
And I know they'd like to give sex a whirl
But they can't decide between boys and girls,
Let's ship 'em all back to California.
(Chorus)
If you go to heaven well you wont be late,
You'll fly your Thud through Pete's front gate
You're one guy he won't try to stop,
He'll recognize you by your golden jock.
(Chorus)
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Puff the Magic Dragon
Puff the Magic Dragon, a bird of Cam Ranh bon
Came to fly the evening skies
In a land called Vietnam.
Puff the Magic Dragon, came across the sea,
To write it's name in guns of flame
In the heart of hostile SEA
When the grunts are in trouble
And Charlie's all around
The thoughts may pry into the sky
Beneath the fires on the ground
The VC's mortal terror, starts when many cries
And the Dragon's breath of sudden death
Comes screaming from the sky.
Yes, Puff will still be flying,
>From one corps down to four
Till Charlie's gone and the evening comes
It's like the year before.
But I'll remember always, the ground troops grateful cry,
When fire is beamed and Charlie screamed
At the Dragon in the sky.
Now Dragons live forever and the Puff is just the same,
The Gooney Bird will still be heard when Grandpa is my name.
It will have to roam the skies with friends ..not with me
For I'm going home, no more to roam
In a land across the sea.
Puff the Magic Dragon, a bird of Cam Ranh bon
Came to fly the evening skies
In a land called Vietnam.
Puff the Magic Dragon, came across the sea,
To write it's name in guns of flame
In the heart of hostile SEA
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Extracamoflaugelistic Super Constellation
(J.J Smith & Bill Person - 1968)
CHORUS:
We fly the extracamoflaugelistic super constellation
Even though the sound of it will cause you consternation
If you fly it long enough, it'll give you constipation,
The extracamoflaugelistic super constellation.
Here's the story of the speckled BUFF, the Lockheed Super R.
It's gained less fame in the air than it has in all the bars.
But if you jeer a Connie man, he'll answer without fail,
"I'll bet you mothers hanging 'round can't handle that much tail."
(Chorus)
When I was in Texas, flying one three ohs, my Wing Commander told
me
That I just had to go, up to the far off north land, Cape Cod with
all it's
snow
To fly the Lockheed Speed-brake, it's very, very slow.
(Chorus)
We, fly and fly and fly and fly and fly and fly and fly and fly,
Because it takes so long for us to climb up in the sky
But even after all of this, we still aren't too high,
That's why the pilots sit around and all they do is cry.
(Chorus)
The Buff it doesn't have much speed, it really is quite slow,
It won't go anywhere if on its nose the wind does blow,
We fly in tiny circles round, we go and go and go,
That is until the fire lights begin to buzz and glow.
(Chorus)
One day the engineer yelled out, "We blew a PRT!"
The A/C calmly turned around said, "Feather number three."
The young stud in the right seat whined, "Oh dear, Lord why me?
To think I finished high enough to get an F-4C."
(Chorus)
When we were in Thailand, we shared the base with Thuds,
Oh see them gaily walk around in all their fancy duds,
Just sitting on the bar stools, a sipping up the suds,
Oh gee, I wish that I could fly that great big Thunder Thud.
(Chorus)
We spend our monthly earnings out chasing Thai puying
And nightly lifting mugs of cheer, while dirty songs we sing,
Then when we get all horny, and feel the mighty throb,
We go down to the bath house and get a great hand job.
(Chorus)
We have our own great heroes, each a wondrous guy
And if you'll hear their hairy tales, the drinks they'll gladly buy.
Once a mighty major, brave, was up where the VC roam,
He saw two shots of triple A and brought the mother home.
(Chorus)
We fly our speckled Buffs away up in the sky,
That's how we spend the whole damned week, just fly and fly and fly.
We fly in tiny circles round, over near the fray,
But will we ever join the fight, you'll never see the day.
(Chorus)
The flack that Charlie throws at us while in the darken hours
Is really such a pretty sight with all its sparking showers
But does that really scare us, or chill us to our bones,
Hell, half the crew is sound asleep while the rest eat ice cream
cones.
(Chorus)
I long for the time to come when I can get some rest
And go back home to the big BX where the loving is the best,
Till our job be done, our tour complete, should either be the same,
And these damned Buffs go back to TWA, the place from which they
came.
(Chorus)
It's the extracamoflaugelistic super constellation
Number one priority in all of the nation,
McNamara chose it in a fit of desperation,
The extracamoflaugelistic super constellation!
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I'm a Lonesome Co-Pilot
(Tune -Sweet Betsy from Pike)
I'm a lonesome co-pilot, I sit on the right
I'm strong and courageous and terribly bright
My job's to remember what the Captain forgets
And keep to my place without any regrets.
I pick up the gear, drop it and standby to feather,
And keep my composure in all kinds of weather
If he makes a landing that's rather rusty,
I tell him, "Yes, sir, it surely is gusty!"
I write all his letters and keep him in cokes.
And laugh when he tells me his corny old jokes.
I buy him his whiskey and hire all his whores
Then I fly the damned plane to the sounds of his snores.
One day I'll make Captain and sit in that seat
And take a vacation, now won't that be neat?
I'll take my position and be like the rest
Because as a co-pilot, I learned from the best.
I'm a lonesome co-pilot and a long way from home.
I joined this here Air Corps forever to roam.
When a I get new orders, I stand up and cheer
But when they get cancelled, I cry in my beer.
I'm a lonesome co-pilot and a long way from home.
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Come and Join the Air Force
(Like a Rambling Wreck)
Oh come and join the Air Force and you will never mind,
You'll never mind, you'll never mind,
Oh come and join the Air Force and you will never mind.
This ship won't fly, you cannot swim, the shore is miles behind
You'll be a dish for happy fish but you will never mind.
You'll never mind, you'll never mind,
Oh come and join the Air Force and you will never mind.
You're off to war for medals galore but that will never be
They keep them home for Weenies' sons and other VIPs
You'll have to play in the gory fray but you'll will never mind,
You'll never mind, you'll never mind.
Oh come and join the Air Force and you will never mind.
You'll collect your points in lousy joints, it really is a bitch.
But they won't promote a mother's son on this side of the ditch
You'll have to wait 'till the war is won but you will never mind.
You'll never mind, you'll never mind, Oh come and join the Air
Force and you will never mind.
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Another Verse
REFRAIN:
Aye, yai, yai yai, in China they never eat chilli
So here comes another verse that's worse than the other verse
So waltz me around again Willy.
There once was a pilot named Glen
Who took his plane up for a spin.
Well, the engine it coughed
And the wings did come off,
This augured an end of Glen.
(Refrain)
There once was a man named Harry
Who swore he'd never marry,
Some kids came along
He changed his song,
Now that is a tale I call scary.
(Refrain)
There once was a man from Blackheath,
Who sat on a pair of false teeth,
He said with a start
Oh Lord bless my heart,
I've bitten myself underneath.
(Refrain)
There once was a lady from Flynn
Who was most decidedly thin
So when she essayed
to drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in.
(Refrain)
There once was a lady named Moore,
Who squatted behind the door,
The wind blew it shut
and pinched her butt
She'll never piss there anymore.
(Refrain)
There once was a man from Boston,
Who drove around in a little red Austin,
There was room for his ass
And a gallon of gas,
But his balls they hung out and he lost them.
(Refrain)
There once was a lady named Alice
Who used a stick of dynamite for a phallus
They found her vagina in North Carolina
And the rest of her came down in Dallas.
(Refrain)
There once was a man from Kent,
Whose pecker was uncommonly bent,
So to save him from trouble
He bent it back double
And instead of coming, he went.
(Refrain)
There once was a girl named Charlotte
Who was pretty enough to be a starlet
She was wooed and pursued
Until she was screwed
Now she's a most happy harlot.
(Refrain)
There once was a man named Sweeny
Who spilled some gin oin his weenie
He thought it uncouth
So he added vermouth
And slipped his wife a martini.
(Refrain)
There once was a man named Dave
Who kept a deat whore in his cave
He said it was awful
And likely unlawful
But think of the money he saved.
(Refrain)
There once was a nun named Alice
Who pissed in the Arch Bishop's chalice
It was generally agreed
It was done out of need
And so much out of malice.
(Refrain)
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Give Me Operations
Don't give me a P-38, the props they counter-rotate
They're scattered and smitten from Burma to Britain
Don't give me a P-38.
CHORUS:
Just give me operations
Way out in some lonely atoll
For I am too young to die
And I just want to grow old.
Don't give me a P-39,
The engine is mounted behind,
They'll tumble and spin and auger you in
Don't give me a P-39.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a Peter four oh, a hell of an airplane I know
A ground looping bastard, you're sure to get plastered
Don't give me a Peter four oh.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an old Thunderbolt, it gave some good pilots a jolt
It looks like a jug and it flies like a tug
Don't give me an old Thunderbolt.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a P-51, it was great for fighting the Hun
But with the coolant tank dry, you'll run out of sky
Don't give me a P-51.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a 51-D, the engine is trouble you see,
If the coolant does squirt, you'll eat mustang dirt,
Don't give me a 51-D.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a P-59, King Cobra's not a favorite of mine,
It's skin is too soft, won't keep me aloft,
Don't give me a P-59.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a P-61, night fighters are not any fun
You say it's a lark, but I'm scared in the dark
Don't give me a P-61.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a jet shooting star, it'll go but not very far
It'll roar and then spout and the flame will go out
Don't give me a jet shooting star.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an F-84, she's just a ground loving whore,
She'll whine, moan and wheeze and then clobber the trees
Don't give me an F-84.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an 84-G, it's wings are straight as can be,
It's still a big hog and it flies like a log,
Don't give me an 84-G.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an 86-D, with rockets, radar and A/B
It's fast, I don't care, it blows up in mid-air
Don't give me an 86-D.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an F-89, the Scorpion's too slow in a climb,
By the time you get up there, the target's not anywhere,
Don't give me an F-89.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a one-double-oh, the bastard is ready to blow,
The A/B is there, but you're saying a prayer.
Don't give me a one-double-oh.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an F-101, one tight turn and you're done
You see it swaps ends and then does flat spins,
Don't give me an F-101.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an F-102, it never goes up when it's blue,
An all weather coffin, that flames out so often.
Don't give me an F-102.
(Chorus)
Don't give me an F-104, it's fast as a damn meteor
It falls down and crashes and turns you to ashes,
Don't give me an F-104.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a big Thunderchief,
It'll take your life like a thief,
It's heavy, you bet, it's a big killer jet.
Don't give me a big Thunderchief.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a C-45, so slow it stalls out in a dive,
A ground loop built in it, and bird colonels in it,
Don't give me a C-45.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a C-46, it's one bird that no one can fix,
It flew over the "Hump" but it won't fit my rump.
Don't give me a C-46.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a C-54, six inches of rugs on the floor,
And we'll go fat-catt'n from here to Manhattan,
Don't give me a C-54.
(Chorus)
Don't give me a B-45, the pilots don't get back alive,
The Russian MiGs chase'em, they soon will erase'em.
Don't give me a B-45.
(Chorus)
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Air Force Lament
(Vietnam Era, based on WWII song)
(Tune: Battle hymn of the Republic)
Mine eyes have seen the days when brave men ruled the fighting
sky
With hearts that laughed at death and lived for nothing but to fly
But now those hearts are grounded and those days are long gone by
The Force is shot to hell.
CHORUS:
Glory...flying regulations
Have them read at every station
Crucify the man who breaks one
The Force is shot to hell.
My chest has felt the mighty roar of countless fighter jets
An awesome airborne legion sent to make the commies fret
But now it's only memory, cause we ain't beat them yet.
The Force is shot to hell.
(Chorus)
I have seen them in their big Thuds when their eyes were dancing
flame
I've seen their thund'rn bomb runs that blasted Nguyen's name.
But now they fly like sissies and they hang their heads in shame
The Force is shot to hell.
(Chorus)
They flew their F-4 Phantoms through a living hell of flack
And bloody dying pilots gave their lives to bring them back
But now they all play ping pong in the operations shack.
The Force is shot to hell.
(Chorus)
The Navy's mighty Skyhawk and their big Intruder, too
Once wreaked destruction up yonder with contrails in the blue
But now the skies are empty and the planes have lost their hue.
And they can't fly for hell.
(Chorus)
They flew Arc Light and Linebacker with the big B-52
And spelled the doom of Charlie with bombs out of the blue.
But now the skys are silent and the planes are rusting too.
The force is shot to hell.
(Chorus)
LBJ and McNamara ran the war in Vietnam
They had a bunch of silly rules that were never worth a damn
It gave the real advantage to their MiGs, and guns and SAMs
It shot our force to hell.
(Chorus)
McNamara betrayed us with his rules that made no sense.
He only let us shoot back when it was self-defense.
Now he's all repentent and he acts so intense.
Well, he can go to hell.
(Chorus)
Then came Nixon and Kissinger to save our face, you see.
They sold us out, there is not doubt, it's as plain as it can be
They pardoned the draft-dodgers so they could all be free,
But the vets were screwed to hell.
(Chorus)
Kissinger and Nixon said the war they'd quickly end.
They said the nation's turmoil, they must surely mend,
And from Southeast Asia, our boys they'd homeward send.
Peace with honor, my ass.
(Chorus)
We never learn to recognize our real enemy
Because they look so very much just like you and me
Those silly sons of bitches all live in old D.C.
And they treat our guys like hell.
Glory...no more flying regulations
Rip them down from every station
Hang the ass of the man who makes one!
AND LET'S ALL FLY LIKE HELL!
HELL YES!
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----
Raven FAC
(Tune- Five Foot Two)
I'm a Raven FAC, dressed in black
Directing bombs on Nguyen's back
Has anybody seen my smoke?
There's trucks down there,.. PLs everywhere
Brother, I could use TAC Air,
Can't anybody see my smoke?
Well, if you're got CBUs, Rockeye, too,
Even a bit of nape will do,
Fighters, you are cleared in hot (Hit my smoke)
There's a traffic jam, where I am
Please blast them with a mighty wham
Won't anybody see my smoke?
Well, if you run into, a ZPU
You're flying too low
Triple A all the way
That's how you earn your combat pay.
Thunderstorms all around, I can't even see the ground
But Hillsburger won't let me go.
I want to RTB, to 93
The weather's shitty at NKP
But Hillsburger won't let me go.
I'm at Catcher's Mitt, took a hit
My plane is ablaze,
You can say, it ain't my day,
Nguyen blew my plane away
In my chute, coming down {Ravens never wore chutes}
Nguyen's waiting on the ground, (I hate the food there)
Beeper, beeper, come up voice (Save my butt, please)
Beeper, beeper, come up voice (I need a ride home)
Beeper, beeper, come up voice!
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----
I Fly the Line
I keep a close watch on these lands of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
Directing air strikes is a specialty of mine,
This sector's mine, I fly the line.
Patrolling on the Plain of Jars really is great
It's these out of country missions I appreciate
I'll fly and fight anywhere and anytime
Because they're mine, I fly the line.
Small arms and 37s I don't sweat
It's fifty cal and ZPUs that I fret
White puffs far away are a good sign
This sector's mine, I fly the line.
Armed with rockets and binoculars I go
Out to see what I can see and hope to know,
Where ol Charlie runs and hides and spends his time
This sector's mine, I fly the line.
When I find Charlie on the ground, I call for air
Then I roll in to mark when they get there
Hit my smoke and run in on the east-west line
This sector's mine, I fly the line.
This plane I fly is as old as Ho Chi Minh, himself
Sometimes I wish they'd never took it off the shelf
Two hundred feet a minute rate of climb is fine.
This sector's mine, I fly the line.
I keep a close watch on these lands of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
Directing air strikes is a specialty of mine,
Raven's my callsign, I fly the line.
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----
Pull the Pipe From the Gas Hole
Pull that boom from the gas hole, tanker, let me go.
Clear me out of this Anchor track before the sun sinks low.
I got a buddy on the ground up north in Route Pack 4
Pull the pipe from the gas hole, boomer, let me go.
We rolled in on a bridge up north about daylight
And the guns on the ground were looking for a fight
Pulling off we got hosed pretty good with ZPU
And they shot off the starboard wing of Wolfpack 2.
Pull that boom from the gas hole, tanker, let me go.
Clear me out of this Anchor track before the sun sinks low.
I got a buddy on the ground up north in Route Pack 4
Pull the pipe from the gas hole, boomer, let me go.
Well, Wolfpack 2 was on the beeper when he hit the ground,
I told him, "Don'tcha go no where, just hang around."
I got a Jolly Green Giant comin' in.. in a little while.
So hang loose, old buddy, gonna bring you home in style."
Pull that boom from the gas hole, tanker, let me go.
Clear me out of this Anchor track before the sun sinks low.
I got a buddy on the ground up north in Route Pack 4
Pull the pipe from the gas hole, boomer, let me roar.
Now Sandy rolled in first with nape and fifty cal
And that super Jolly Green looked as good as a big eyed gal.
Wolfpack 2 spent the night down south at NKP
With a tall Sing-hi and puying on his knee.
Pull that boom from the gas hole, tanker, let me go.
Clear me out of this Anchor track before the sun sinks low.
I got a buddy on the ground over at NKP
Pull the pipe from the gas hole, boomer, let me RTB. (Return to
base)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Jolly Green
(Tune- Abilene)
REFRAIN:
Jolly Green, Jolly Green, it's all painted brown and green.
Well, the prettiest bird that I've ever seen is Jolly Green, my
Jolly
Green.
Got shot down, about daylight,
Flack and the missiles were hitting just right
Got on the horn with all my might,
Call Jolly Green, my, Jolly Green.
(Refrain)
I sit alone, here in this tree
Afraid of Charlie as I can be
Wish to the Lord that I could see that Jolly Green, my Jolly Green.
(Refrain)
Sound of rotors now I've heard,
Here comes that great big whirlybird
A PJ's cable now I've seen on Jolly Green, my Jolly Green.
(Refrain)
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----
Battle of 18.23
(Tune- Battle of New Orleans)
To 18.23 we took a little flight
On J C S direction we carried on the fight
We took some baby hueys and we took a Weasel too
And we bombed that bloody bridge until the pieces flew
CHORUS:
Oh they fired their guns and the one-oh-fives kept comin'
Though there wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
They fired their missiles as the "Fives" began their run
On that bloody muckin' bridge in the valley far below
Oh we lost four ships and the men in them too
Before we dropped a span in the muddy muckin' goo
We tried it twice by land and we tried it twice by sea
The J C S were so tickled, they giggled happily.
(Chorus)
Now our triple granny bombs really gave them fits
The gomers all for miles around musta had the shits
Now there's no more supplies will cross old Doumer Bridge
Cause we dropped seven spans of that ruddy river bridge.
(Chorus)
Now 18.23 will never more be used,
Once they decide how the bombs should be fused
There's no time for joy and no time for sorrow
The bastards have another and it's fragged for tomorrow
(Chorus)
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----
Dashing Through the Sky
(Tune- Jingle Bells)
Dashing through the sky,
In a Foxtrot one-oh-five,
Through the flak we fly,
Trying to stay alive.
The SAMs destroy our calm,
The MiGs come up to play,
What fun it is to strafe and bomb
The D.R.V. today!
CHORUS:
C B Us, Mark 82s, 750s too,
Daddy Vulcan strikes again,
Our Christmas gift to you.
Hillsburger has your frag,
The FAC's fired marking smoke
So use nap and high drag
That'll really make them croak
There's trucks down there below
Time to arm your gun
Now sight the pipper's glow
And blast them as they run.
(Chorus)
Heads up Ho Chi Minh,
The Fives are on their way.
Your luck has give in,
There's going to be hell to pay.
Today it is our turn,
To make you gawk and burn
What fun it is to watch things burn
And blow up everywhere.
(Chorus)
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----
Call Out the Reserves
(My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
In peace time the regulars are happy
In peace time they're happy to serve
But let them get into a fracas
And they'll call out the gol' darn reserve.
CHORUS:
Call out, call out,
Call out the gol'darn reserves, reserves.
Call out, call out, call out the gol'darn reserves.
Here's to the regular Air Force
They have such a wonderful plan
They call up the gol'darn reservist
Whenever the crap hits the fan.
(Chorus)
They call up every old pilot
They call up every young man
The reservists go to Korea
The regulars stay in Japan.
(Chorus)
Here's to the regular Air Force
With medals and badges galore
If it weren't for the gol'darn reservists
Their arse would be draggin' the floor.
(Chorus)
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----
Show Me the Way to Go Home
Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
and it went right to my head
Where ever I may roam
On land or sea or foam
You will always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home.
Indicate the way to my abode
I'm fatigued and I want to retire
I had a spot of beverage sixty minutes ago
And it went right to my cerebellum
Where ever I may perambulate
On land, or sea or atmospheric vapor
You can always hear me crooning the melody
Indicate the way to my abode.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Happy Flier
Once there was a maiden, who lived on Drury Lane
Her master was so kind to her, her mistress was the same
Along came a flier, as happy as he could be
And he is the cause of all her misery
He asked her for a lantern to light his way to bed
He asked her for a pillow to rest his weary head
And she like a foolish maid, thinking they would wed
Danced with this flier, a merry dance he led
Early in the morning, at the break of day
He gave to her his silver wings
And this to her did say
Take this my darling, to keep while I'm away
And give it to our offspring when you are old and gray.
If it's a daughter, keep a watchful eye
But if it's a son, send the rascal out to fly.
Tan covered trousers, shirt of khaki hue
He'll fly the airways like his daddy use to do
The moral or the story as you can plainly see
Is never trust a flier an inch above a tree.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Brassiere
(Tune- Brazil)
Brassiere, oh when you nestle against my ear,
Things all start to come quite clear, my dear, Brassiere.
Chorus:
Flip that tit, make that nipple drip,
Flip that tit, make that nipple drip.
Brassiere, Brassiere, Brassiere.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Toothbrush
(Same old Saturday Night)
Missed the crapper last night, messed all over the floor,
Cleaned it up with my toothbrush,
Don't brush my teeth much anymore.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Flaming Fairies (Pink Berets)
(Tune - Berets)
Flaming fairies, we are so shy
I broke a nail, oh I could cry.
The mean ole sergeant, he thinks we're pips
We bat our eyes and swish our hips
We are so proud to be this way
We are the fairies of the pink beret.
Bill Clinton's gays, we are the best
Much sweeter than all of the rest
He let us join this army thing
Now I think we're owed a friendship ring
We are so silly all in drag
Want to play a game of tag?
I touch you there and everywhere
You touch me back, ooh I don't care.
One hundred men we'll do today
By little ole gays of the pink beret.
These army suits, they are so neat
Think we look good enough to eat?
Oh put my earclips on my nuts
That feels so nice, now spank my butt
I giggle so when I see you rise
I'd like to show you my surprise
To serve our country is such a thrill
Dressed in uniform or not, I will
No matter what the civilians say
We are Bill Clinton's pink berets.
So into battle, we'll lead the band
Please don't say, no man's land.
The enemy is like an awful brute
But, really dear, I think they're cute.
I'll take him on in a foxhole there
Cause my nylons are the wash 'n wear.
And if he wins and I lose the test
He'll know he's had the very best
Let me endure it all, I pray
Cause that's what Bill wants of his pink berets.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Thud Theme
(When the Saints Go Marching In)
Oh when those Thuds, go scorching in,
Oh when those Thuds, go scorching in.
Oh you ought to feel that thunder,
When those Thuds, go scorching in.
Oh when their guns begin to roar,
Oh when their guns begin to roar,
Oh how I hate to hear them rumble,
When their big guns begin to roar.
Oh when the bombs, begin to fall,
Oh when the bombs, begin to fall,
Oh Lord, I'm proud to be in that number,
Just when the bombs, begin to fall.
Oh when their SAMs begin to soar,
Oh when their SAMs begin to soar,
Oh Lord I hate to see those poles a coming,
When their damned SAMs begin to soar.
Oh how I'm scared to go up there,
Oh how I'm scared to go up there,
But, I'll take my load up yonder
To where it scares me beyond compare.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
I've Laid Around Vietnam Too Long
CHORUS:
I've laid around and played around Vietnam too long
Summer's come and gone, monsoon's coming on.
LBJ and Ho Chi Minh, they don't get along
They don't get along,
Ho Chi Minh and LBJ, they don't get along
And I feel like I need to travel on.
(Chorus)
McNamara betrayed us with his rules to fight the war,
His rules to fight the war, his way to fight the war.
Yes, McNamara betrayed us with his rules to fight the war,
His rules to fight the war, and I think I need to be moving on.
(Chorus)
LBJ's little daughters are getting married off,
Getting married off, getting married off.
LBJ's little daughters are getting married off,
They'll soon be married off, and I'd like to be moving on.
(Chorus)
Papa writes to Johnny, but Johnny can't come home,
Johnny can't come home, no Johnny can't come home.
Papa writes to Johnny, but Johnny can't come home,
He's been in the Hanoi Hilton too long.
(Chorus)
Want to see my honey, want to see her bad,
I want to see her bad, yes, I want to see her bad.
I want to see my honey, I need her oh so bad
And I feel like I need to be going home.
(Chorus)
Black pajama Viet Cong are coming after me,
They're coming after me, they're coming after me.
The black pajama, straw lampshade hats
Are every where I see and I feel like I need to be going home.
(Chorus)
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