Below is the raw OCR of The Social and Convivial Toast-Master; and Compendium of Sentiment. If you wish to verify the text below, please download the PDF of the scanned pages.
This toast book contains quite a few bawdy toasts. Pg 113 even has a never before example of a dash expurgated rhyme with the word "blunt". We we'll let you figure out what word rhymes with this.
THE
SOCIAL AND CONVIVIAL
TOAST-MASTER;
AND COMPENDIUM
OF
SENTIMENT.
LONDON :
C. DALY, 19, RED LION SQUARE.
1841.
PREFACE.
THE custom of " Toasting" our favourites ap-
pears to have had its rise in the reign of King
Charles II.
Dr. Johnson observes that the meaning of
the word at its first use, was " a celebrated wo-
man whose health is often drunk ;" and the rea-
son of her being so termed may be found in the
" Tatler" who says " It happened that on a
public day a celebrated beauty of those times
(King Charles IId's) was in the Cross Bath
(at Bath,) and one of the crowd of her admirers
took a glass of the water in which the fair one
stood, and drank her health to the company
There was in the place a gay fellow half fuddled,
who offered to jump in, and swore, though he
liked not the liquor he would have the Toast.
He was opposed in his resolution, yet this
whim gave foundation to the present honor which
is done to the lady we mention in our liquor,
who has ever since been called a Toast."
VI PREFACE.
The meaning of the word has however, of late
years, been considerably extended, although this
is the true meaning, and ought not to be appro-
priated to other than
The praise of beauty, honored most
By wise man's passion, gay man's toast;
"Which deck'd with all that land or sea afford
Are angels called and angel-like adored.
The phrase " Pledging" is referred by anti-
quaries to the practice of the Danes, when in
England, who frequently used to cut the throats
of the natives while drinking, although many in-
fer the custom to have originated from the death
of Edward the Martyr. The true meaning of the
word denotes to warrant or be surety to one that
he shall receive no harm while he is taking his
draught.
The custom of drinking or pledging healths
can be traced to the remotest ages of antiquity :
proofs of which may be found on reference to
many ancient writers and, if we mistake not,
even the Scriptures themselves contain some pas-
sages that appear to have an allusion to the sub-
ject. The ancients not only drank in honor of
'
PREFACE. VII
the Gods, they drank also in honor of their em-
perors, their heroes, their friends and their mis-
tresses. The Greeks saluted one another before
drinking in some appropriate speech, as " May
you long live,—To your health, my companion,"
&c. The Romans observed the like custom, and
were nothing behind in their modes of salu-
tation. Among others, " Propino tibi salutem,"
" Bene te," " Beneamicum," &c, were among
the most common.
The Christians of the olden time drank healths
in honor of the angels, the apostles and the mar-
tyrs. One historian asserts that the Scotch, in
less civilized times, never elected a bishop with-
out" having made proof of his powers on this head.
They presented him with the great cup of St.
Magnus, and whenever that was drunk off at a
draught, the people, transported with joy, clapped
their hands in full assurance that the episcopacy
could not but be happy.
Among the inhabitants of the northern regions
the country of Odin, Thor and Saturn, where con-
vivial meetings were formerly as frequent as we
believe them to be at the present day, the health
yiii PREFACE.
of the mighty warrior (whether he were absent
or present), that of the fair and red-haired maid,
and that of the true friend and valiant knight,
as well as of the giver of the feast, were never
omitted; and whenever any warlike expedition
was to be undertaken, town besieged or battle
fought, the heartfelt prayer for the success of
those engaged in the perilous enterprise was
never forgotten : and when the victory was won
the praises of those, by whose instrumentality it
had been gained, were drunk in brimming gob-
lets of sparkling mead, and bards and minstrels
joined in celebrating. in inspiring verse, the
deeds of heroes and of kings.
The bards may be termed the Toast-Masters
of those days: they gave the cue, and the com-
pany followed, till all the " choice spirits" of
the day had been successively toasted; and the
memories of the heroes of " the times of old"
were not only drowned in the ocean that flowed
from the gigantic cups that graced the fes-
tive board, but also in the brains of the hardy
warriors who, though never beaten in the field,
were obliged to " knock under" (the table) from
PREFACE. IX
the effects of the powerful beverage that had
been so freely circulated.
Many very curious and entertaining fragments
might be gleaned respecting these great con-
vivial entertainments, so prevalent amongst the
northern nations, by a reference to the Eyrbyggia
Saga and other works of the Danish historians.
The great mischief that resulted from them, was
the continual source which they proved of deadly
quarrels, murderous attacks and bloody rencon-
tres among the company who, notwithstanding
the affectionate way in which they drank to the
healths of others, too often forgot (when the li-
quor had fired the brain) the due respect they
should have paid to their own and to that of their
neighbours.
However, in this instance, we of the present
day are not a whit more cultivated than our
northern neighbours, for, it must be owned that,
in many instances, our own convivial meetings
often end in disastrous quarrels, from the too
frequent potential draughts that have been taken
in an evening's carouse, causing men to see with
four eyes instead of two; as the late lamented
PREFACE.
Elliston used to do when Drury Lane Theatre
was empty night after night, and he averred it
to be crowded to the ceiling.
In travelling eastward we find but little, res-
pecting this custom, worth noticing.
Your Turk, though forbidden to be so by his
prophet, is as great a wine-bibber as any Bac-
chanalian of old, (if he can but get it secretly),
but he is not naturally of a convivial disposition.
He takes his pipe, 'tis true, in company with
others; but what a company it is ! He will smoke
and drink coffee or sherbet for three hours at a
stretch, and not utter a sentence; wrapt up in
self he possesses no true enjoyment, but only
that which centres in self; he does not look on
his fellow man as a brother and, consequently,
has but little feeling or care for his comfort or
happiness. Public dinners, meetings or convivial
parties are things unknown in Turkey, but,
thanks to the present Sultan, those improve-
ments by which a Turk may be rendered a de-
cent member of society may be shortly expected
to be introduced.
It is unnecessary for our purpose to travel
PREFACE. XI
further, for we shall gain but little information by
the labour ; but shall return to our own little is-
land the " gem of the sea," where the love of
good eating and drinking is proverbial; where
conviviality abounds, and man meets his fellow
man as a brother ; where wit sparkles as the bot-
tle circulates, and where the mighty wine-god
sits enthroned the " observed of all observers;"
where thousands pay daily and nightly adoration
at his shrine; and he, in return, gives his richest
libations, to strengthen the nerves—open the
hearts as well as the purses, and cause good will
and brotherly regard among his worshippers.
In England the custom of drinking healths is
almost coeval with its first existence as a nation.
The well-known story of Vortigern and Rowena
is a proof of this.
England has been called a " Drinking Na-
tion," and truly so : nothing can be done without
" The Three Courses and a Dessert" How the
heart opens as the cork is drawn, and the spark-
ling juice ripples into the glass ! How the merry
jest and jibe, the cheerful toast and heartfelt sen-
timent go round, each succeeding one received
xii PREFACE.
with more zest and glee than the former ! How
the expanded hand of fellowship is held forth
even to an enemy! It is indeed a glorious sight
to see the joyous hilarity of a convivial meeting.
Our barons of old were men of the right sort,
with them there was no flinching. In the days
of yore
When the bright jest, the hearty joke was flung,
And the old halls with tipsy laughter rung,
the brimming flagons of ale warmed every heart
and braced up every sinew. From the peer to
the peasant, conviviality, carousal and enjoy-
ment, were the order of the day. Even the lordly
master of the mansion did not disdain the com-
pany of his serfs, but sat and drank with the
best of them, filling brimming flagons to the
healths of all around, and toasting the bright-
eyed maidens and bonny lasses of the village and
the vale. Our monarchs too were always men of
the right sort, from the time of the lion-hearted
Richard, not even forgetting " bonnie Bess,"
whose good old days were indeed days of gorgeous
gorging and glorious conviviality. " Crooked-
back Dick, ' " Bluff Hal," " Solemn Noll,'
PREFACE. xiii
and " Old Rowley," with more to boot, could
fight, wench and drink with the best of their sub-
jects; and even our own William the fourth,
(God bless him!) is not an inch behind them,
and we " his merry men all," can toast and sen-
timentalize, drink and be jolly, as Englishmen
always have done and, we hope, always will do,
" to the latest period of recording time."
We had intended to have offered our readers
some few anecdotes concerning celebrated Toast-
Masters, choice spirits, witty souls, who have
passed away from the festive scene, whose racy
wit and ready jests
Have kept the table in a roar,
And giv'n each glass a zest unknown before,
our space however warns us to be brief:
Need we speak of jesting Will Somers, laugh-
ing Johnnie Armstrong, witty Bald Archie,
quaint Tommy Popplowell, gay Frank Hay-
man, or roistering Natty Potts, or Cecey Hogge?
do not our readers know them and their works,
as well as we? They were free and easy fellows,
whose love of conviviality was unbounded, who
only existed at night and died with the first blush
XIV PREFACE.
of morning,—who drank and sang, toasted, sen-
timentalized, and jested " as the maggot bit,"
with peer and peasant, lord and boor,—to all
alike indifferent;—pleased with themselves, they
gave pleasure to others, letting loose the scin-
tillations of their wit on all around them, il-
lumining a dull horizon till it became a flood of
light and joy !
In the olden time, the well-known and face-
tious Joe Miller was the eye and tongue of every
club and convivial fraternity—full of the " true
attic salt" himself, he never failed to communi-
cate the infection to his company; and it has
been said, and we believe truly, that a night
spent in a party of which he was head and chief,
might be considered as an era in a man's life.
When his glass was for ever emptied, there died
one half of those coteries of jovial souls, " who
existed but in his smile, who lived but in
his laugh, and who, when his bottle was out,
vanished from the scene themselves. Their sun
had set, never to rise again!
Another fellow of " most excellent (but un-
fortunately rather prurient) fancy" was the gay,
PREFACE. xv
the mercurial Tom Browne, of whose fame as a
Toast-Master, clubbist, convivialist, and jester,
let his own works speak. His jests and witti-
cisms, are " standing jokes," and sometimes not
only make the eyes, but also the mouths of his
readers water. He was a man who, when
"upstanding and uncovered," at the head of the
board, gave the cue with such an arch leer,
knowing look and sparkling twinkle of the eye,
that convulsions of laughter, " loud guffaws of
glee," the honest explosions of the mirthful soul
rang through the night, and ascending into the
dull air of London streets and alleys, would
fright the " Charlies" of the time " from their
propriety," and alarm the peaceful sleeping ci-
tizen, who, starting from his bed, would cry out—
" there goes another of Tom Browne's !"
The following rules for Drinking Healths,
(used by the " Spendalls" of Charles the
Ist's time,) we extract from an old book, in our
possession, intitled " The Irish Hubbub, or the
English Hue and Cry," by Barnaby Rich, 1623.
" He that beginnes the health hath his prescrib-
XVI PREFACE.
ed orders; first, uncovering his head, he takes a
full cup in his hand, and setting his countenance
with a grave aspect, he craves for audience;
silence being once obtained hee beginnes to
breathe but the name peradventtire of some ho-
nourable personage that is worthy of a better
regard than to have his name pollutted at so un-
fitting a time amongst a company of drunkards;
but his health is drunk too, and he that pledges
must likewise off with his cap, kisse his fingers,
and bowing himself in signe of a reverend ac-
ceptance ; when the leader (or Toast-Master),
sees his follower thus prepared hee sups up his
breath, turns the bottom of the cup upwards, and,
in ostentation of his dexteritie, gives the cup a
fillip to make it crie " twango" And thus the
first scene is acted. The cup being replenished
to the breadth of a haire, he that is the pledge
must now beginne his part, and thus it goes
round throughout the whole company, provided
alwayes, by a canon set down by the founder,
there must be three at least still uncovered till
the health hath had the full passage : which is no
PREFACE. xvii
sooner ended but another beginnes again, he
drinks an health to his " Lady of little worth,"
or peradventure to his light heel'd mistress."
How much the enjoyment of a cheerful glass
(as a favourite dramatist observes) is heightened
when accompanied by a generous sentiment or
heartfelt toast, is well known to every lover of
rational conviviality. The circulation of the
grape is at once sanctioned and exalted by it:
drinking loses the name of intemperance, and
Bacchus, in addition to being the God of wine,
becomes the patron of social intercourse and the
inspirer of universal goodwill.
By the circulation of Toasts and Sentiments
under the influence of the rosy god, all the
warmer feelings of the heart are drawn forth and
increased; rancorous animosity is drowned in
the flowing bowl, and every care banished from
its magic circle. It is a praiseworthy practice of
making enjoyment the medium of propagating
good wishes and diffusing around us all the better
feelings of our own nature.
In all convivial parties the grand aim should
be to avoid drunkenness: it ruins health, spoils
xviii PREFACE.
the comfort and harmony of a whole evening, be-
gets strife and ill blood, and often renders the
friendship of a whole life a " thing of air."
We remember reading some excellent rules on this
subject, which may not be inappropriate here:
" When you feel particularly desirous of having
another glass leave off drinking, you have had
enough. When you look at a distant object and
appear to see two, leave off, you have had too
much. When you knock over your glass, spill
your wine upon the table, or are unable to recol-
lect the words of a song you have been in the
habit of singing for the last dozen years, leave
the company, you are getting troublesome. When
you nod in the chair, fall over the hearth-rug,
or lurch on your neighbour's shoulder, go to bed,
you are drunk
I
THE
TOAST-MASTER.
A toast to Britannia, the Empress of Isles,
Where Freedom inhabits, and Commerce still smiles.
Loyal and Patriotic.
A Venus born from ocean's bed—Britannia !
A lasting cement to all contending powers.
A lasting peace, or an honourable war.
A long cord, and a strong cord, to those who make
discord.
A revision of the code of criminal laws.
A speedy restoration of the rights of the people.
A speedy export to all the enemies of Britain,
without a drawback.
A cobweb pair of breeches, a porcupine saddle, a
hard trotting horse, and a long journey to the ene-
mies of Britain.
A health to those ladies who set the example of
wearing British productions.
A health to our English patriots.
A health to the friends of Caledonia.
A high Post to the enemies of ould Ireland.
Addition to our trade, multiplication to our manu-
factories, substraction to taxes, and reduction to
places and pensions.
Agriculture and its improvers.
Albion : the pride of the sea.
B
2 THE TOAST-MASTER.
All the societies associated for promoting the happi-
ness of the human race.
All the charitable institutions of Great Britain.
All the honest reformers of our country.
All our independent nobles and all noble hearts.
All the royal family.
Amidst the world's commotions may we ever be true
to ourselves.
An Englishman's birthright: trial by jury.
Annihilation to the trade of corruption.
Britain; and may the land of our nativity be ever
the abode of freedom, and the birth-place of heroes.
Britains' rights ; and may they never be invaded by
foreigners.
Britain's produce; may it never exceed her con-
sumption.
Briton's annals; may they never suffer a moral or
political plot.
British belles and British fashions.
British virtue; may it always find a protector but
never need one.
Britons in unity, and unity in Britain.
Brunswick's glory; and may it last to the end of
time.
Caledonia: the nursery of learning and the birth-
place of heroes.
Church and King.
Cork to the heels, cash to the pockets, courage to
the hearts, and concord to the head, of all those
who fight for Great Britain.
Confusion to all those who attempt to disunite the
interests of our country.
Confusion to those who barter the cause of their
country for ostentation, or sordid gain.
Confusion to those who wearing the mask of pa-
triotism pull it off, and desert the cause of liberty in
the hour of trial.
Confusion to those who are fond of it.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 3
Confusion to those despots who combine against the
liberties of mankind.
Community, unity, navigation, and trade.
Commerce universally extended,
And blood-stained war for ever ended.
Disappointment to all those who form expectations
of places and pensions on the ruin of their country.
Emancipation to the slave,
And liberty to the brave.
England, Scotland, and Ireland: may their union
remain undisturbed by plots or treachery to the
end of time.
England, home, and beauty.
English oak, and British valour.
Everlasting life to the man who gave the death-blow
to the slave-trade.
I England for ever, the land, boys, we live in.
Faith, in every kind of commerce.
Firmness in the senate, valour in the field, and for-
titude on the ocean.
Freedom all over the world.
Freedom to those that are oppressed, and bondage
to their oppressors.
Freedom to those who dare contend for it.
Great happiness to our friends; great sorrow to our
enemies.
Great Britain's rising star: the Princess Victoria.
Health to the king; prosperity to the people ; and
may the ministry direct their endeavours to the
public good rather than engage in party distinc-
tions.
He that holds his life as a debt to his country.
Holiness to our clergy, and humility to our rulers.
4 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Holy pastors, honest magistrates, and humane rulers.
Honor and affluence to the patrons of trade, liberty,
and property.
Here's a health unto his majesty,
Conversion to his enemies,
And he that will not pledge his health,
I wish him neither wit nor wealth,
Nor yet a rope to hang himself.
Humanity to all created beings; especially to our
own species, whether white or black.
Improvement to the inventions of our country.
Improvement to our arts, and invention to our ar-
tists.
Ireland : sympathy to her wrongs, and a determina-
tion to redress them.
King, lords, and commons.
Long live the king that seeks his people's love.
Labour's true reward to every Briton — Content and
pleasure.
Laurel-water to the secret enemies of the constitu-
tion.
Liberty, property, security, and resistance of op-
pression.
Liberty : may it never degenerate into licentious-
ness.
May every future king of England be as patriotic as
William the fourth.
May the king never want health nor his subjects
obedience.
May our king prove a father to his people, and meet
with his children's love.
May the skin of our foes be turned into parchment,
and our rights be written thereon.
May our commanders have the eye of a Hawke, and
the heart of a Wolfe.
May the liberties of Englishmen never be clipped
by the shears of bad economy.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 5
May the king ever live in the hearts of his subjects.
May the sword of justice be swayed by the hand of
mercy.
May taxation be lessened annually.
May the Gallic cock be always clipped by British
valour if he crows too loud.
May the seeds of Dissension never find growth in
the soil of Great Britain.
May our statesmen ever possess the justice of a
More, and the wisdom of a Bacon.
May the meanest Briton scorn the highest slave.
May the love" of country be imprinted in every Bri-
ton's breast.
May he who has neither wife, mistress, nor estate
in Great Britain, never have a share in the govern-
ment of it.
May the dispensers of justice ever be impartial.
May his Majesty's ministers ever have wisdom to
plan our institutions, and energy and firmness to
support them.
May the interests of the king and kingdom never be
thought distinct.
May French principles never corrupt English man-
ners.
May he who plots the nation's downfal get what he
deserves,—a halter.
May the enemies of Great Britain and Ireland never
meet a friend in either country.
May the nation that plots against another's liberty
or prosperity fall a victim to its own intrigues.
May Great Britain and Ireland be ever equally dis-
tinguished by their love of liberty and true pat-
riotism.
May we never know any difference between England
and Ireland than St. George's channel.
May the worth of the nation be ever inestimable.
May every succeeding century maintain the princi-
ples of the glorious Revolution, enjoy the bless-
ings of them, and transmit them to future ages,
unimpaired and improved.
6 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our love for our kings know no bounds nor our
fear of them need any.
May British valour shine when every other light is
out.
May the eagles of the continent never build their
nests in this little Island.
May the cry of war ne'er more
Be heard upon our native shore.
May the hospitable hearts of the sons of Blunder
never be seduced from their attachment to the con-
stitution.
May the whole universe be incorporated in one city
and every inhabitant be presented with the free-
dom.
May the populace of our country be remarkable for
their loyalty and domestic happiness.
May the pleasure of Britons be pure as their breezes,
and their virtues firm as their oaks.
May the sharp-pointed thorn of the Thistle and Rose
Be ever the portion of Great Britain's foes.
May our country be as it ever has been, a secure asy-
lum to the unfortunate and oppressed.
May our sons be honest and brave and our daughters
modest and fair.
May those who would revel in the ruin of Great Bri-
tain or her daughters dance in a hempen neckcloth.
May loyalty flourish for ever.
May the annals of Great Britain never suffer a moral
or political plot.
May those who root up the tree of liberty be crushed
by its fall.
May our councils be wise and our commerce increase;
And may we ever experience the blessings of peace.
May he who betrays his own country know the want
of a country to shelter in.
May the growth of the Rose, Thistle, and Shamrock,
never be prevented by the Fleur-de-lys.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 7
May the sins of our fathers descend upon our foes.
May the adjective, victorious, be ever joined to the
substantive, Britain.
May the frowns of avarice never disfigure the face of
a Briton.
May the productions of Britain's isle never exceed
its consumption.
May every Briton be loyal and find a loyal protec-
tion.
May the rights of Great Briton never be invaded by
foreigners.
May the protecting arm of the civil power always
defend our rights.
May all the governments of the world speak the will,
and promote the happiness of the governed.
May the freedom of election be preserved, the trial
by jury maintained, and the liberty of the press
secured to the latest posterity.
May all martial and impolitic taxes be repealed.
May truth and liberty prevail throughout the world.
May the tree of liberty flourish round the globe, and
every human being partake of its fruits.
May all mankind make free to enjoy the blessings of
liberty, but never take the liberty to subvert the
principles of freedom.
May the laws never be misconstrued.
May the weight of our taxes never bend the back of
our credit.
May Britons never have a tyrant to oppose, either in
church or state.
May the sons of liberty marry the daughters of vir-
tue.
May Britons never suffer invasion, nor invade the
rights of others.
May the miseries of war be banished from all en-
lightened nations.
May our enemies never taste the union dish — roast
beef, cakes, puddings, and potatoes.
May our trade and manufactures be unrestrained by
the fetters of monopoly.
8 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the whole world become more enlightened and
civilised.
May every civil government be founded on the na-
tural rights of man.
May religious and civil liberty always go hand in
hand.
May all civil distinctions among men be founded up-
on public utility.
May neither precedent nor antiquity be a sanction
to errors pernicious to mankind.
May England like a tennis ball, rebound the harder
she is struck.
May the blessings of freedom be equally bestowed.
May increasing success crown the island of traders,
And its shores prove the grave of all foreign invaders.
May the olive of peace renovate the sinking fund of
the British nation.
May the enemies of Great Britain be destitute of
beef and claret.
May the health of our sovereign keep pace with the
wishes of his people.
May every future king of England be as virtuous as
George the third.
May the devil ride rough-shod over the enemies of
the constitution.
May the thorns of England's rose
Tear the bosom of her foes.
May the interests of the king and the kingdom never
be thought distinct.
May the king live for the people and the people for
the king.
May the blessings of peace continue to us the bless-
ings of plenty.
May " Invasion" prove " the Devil to Pay" among
our foes, and " John Bull" be always able to say
" Who's afraid?"
May we ever have a sufficiency for ourselves, and a
trifle to spare for our friends.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 9
May our jurors ever possess sufficient courage to up-
hold their verdict.
May the plotters of a nation's destruction fall into
their own snare.
May peace o'er Britain spread her wing,
And commerce fill her ports with gold;
May arts and science comfort bring,
And liberty her sons enfold.
May kings and subjects reign in each other's hearts
by love.
May we never cease to deserve well of our country.
May we ever honestly uphold our rights.
May revolutions never cease while tyranny exists.
May the brave never want protection.
May the liberties of the people be immortal.
May the brow of the brave be adorned by the hand
of beauty.
May the miseries of war never more have existence
in the world.
May the dawn of liberty in the New World be follow-
ed by its meridian splendour.
May the laurels of Great Britain never be blighted.
May we never find danger lurking on the borders of
security.
May we always look forward to better times, but
never be discontented with the present.
May we never find fault with old England's ground,
If we do, may reward in new England be found.
May we never engage in a bad cause, and never fly
from a good one.
May the fruits of England's soil never be denied to
her children.
May domestic slavery be abolished throughout the
world.
May old England's sons, the Americans, never forget
their mother.
May old England, a world within herself, reign safe
for ever in her floating towers.
10 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Our Father-land: may it ever be the soil of liberty.
Our country—may it continue to be the land of li-
berty to the end of the world.
O! long life to the land of dear liberty's joys,
The land of our life, and where pleasure ne'er cloys,
Where the women can love, and the men can all fight,
The latter all day, and the former all night.
Where they've hearts for the girls, and arms for
their foes,
And both are triumphant as every one knows.
Our beloved Sovereign the King.
Our nobles : and may they ever be endowed with the
noblest quality of man—honesty.
Old Ireland : and may the hospitable hearts of the
sons of blunder never be seduced from their attach-
ment to the constitution.
Oblivion to all party rage.
Our late monarch, George the Third, and may his me-
mory ever live in the hearts of his people,
Our constitution as settled at the revolution.
Our native land: its laws and liberties.
Peace and plenty.
Pride: may it be exterminated both in church and
state.
Prosperity : and may it ever be the rising-sun of
England.
Religion without priestcraft, and politics without
party.
Short shoes and long corns to the enemies of Great
Britain.
Success to the trade and manufactures of our country.
Success to that government which prefers armed ci-
tizens to armed slaves.
Success to our army, success to our fleet,
May our foes be compell'd to bend at our feet.
Short parliaments and unbiassed electors.
LOYAL AND PATRIOTIC. 11
Success to the industrious peasantry of Great Britain
and Ireland, and may they profit by their industry.
Success to our arms by sea and land.
St. George, England, and the rose.
Success to the brave,
And freedom to the slave.
The King and Queen : and may they live long and
be happy.
The King: success to his arms by sea and land,
The King: and may true Britons never be without
his likeness in their pockets.
The King: may he outlive his ministers, and may
they live long.
The king : may he always merit the esteem and affec-
tion of a people always ready to bestow the meed of
gratitude on those who deserve it.
The land we live in : may he who don't like it leave it.
The friends of religion, liberty, and science, in every
part of the globe.
Toleration : and the liberty of the press.
To the immortal memory of the English Barons, who
by their glorious exertions totally frustrated the
designs of the tyrant John, and caused him to
ratify the Magna Charter.
Trial by jury.
The memory of Alfred: and may every man in power
while he admires his actions learn to imitate them.
The society for the abolition of the slave-trade.
The three great generals in power : general peace,
general plenty, and general satisfaction.
The glorious revolution which placed a William on
the throne: and when his successors hazard another
revolution, may they be its first and only victims.
The Bank of England's passport to travel with, and
the king's picture for a companion.
The king's head in the Poultry ; and may every one
have a chop at it.
The birth-place of wit, and hospitality's home,
dear Ireland.
12 THE TOAST MASTER.
The universal freedom and interest of mankind.
The constitution of Great Britain and Ireland: and
may it flourish to the latest posterity.
The royal family.
The Queen : may she stand as the oak, and her ene-
mies fall as the leaves.
The royal princes : may they be as much distinguish-
ed for their virtue, as for their high birth.
The commerce of Great Britain and Ireland.
The true Briton's three favourites : peace, plenty, and
the father of his people.
The abolition of domestic slavery all round the globe.
The universal advancement of the arts and sciences.
The rose, thistle, and shamrock : may they flourish
by the common graft of union.
The land of our fore-fathers: may it always continue
free.
To all honest reformers of our country.
The liberty of the press, and success to its defenders.
The English rose : may it never be grafted on a fo-
reign stock.
The friends of religion, liberty, and science, in every
part of the globe.
The white cliffs of Old England : may they stand for
ever.
The protectors of commerce and the promoters of
charity in the city of London.
The universal rights of all mankind.
The man that loves his King and nation,
And shuns each vile association.
That trusts his honest deeds to light,
Nor meets in dark cabals at night.
The roast beef of Old England.
The foe of the tyrant, the friend of the slave—Great
Britain.
The majesty and liberty of the people.
The spot of all spots that owns no one's controlling,
The sunny isle round which the green waves are
rolling.
13
Naval and Military.
May our Sailors for over be lords of the main,
And our Soldiers their foes heat again and again;
May our Cannon be heard, and our flag be unfurled,
And our Ships spread our name all over the world.
All our brave allies who so nobly assisted us in the
late sanguinary war.
A broadside of comfort to every distressed seaman
and every distressed heart.
All ships at sea, and all sea-ships.
All those who have fought and bled for Great Britain.
All hearty messmates ; and may we never want a mess
or a mate.
An army to stand but not a standing army.
A round dozen to all pirates.
A cargo of spirits to our brave tars.
A British seaman's toast: Success to every young
cockboat who ventures on the ocean in defence of
Great Britain.
A blow up to all fire-ships.
A tear of regret to the memory of every brave sailor
who finds a watery grave.
A health to those who are away at sea.
A speedy calm to the storms of life.
A twelvemonth's toothache to all those who snarl at
and would destroy our military glory.
After we have weathered the storm of life may we
drop quietly and gratefully into the harbour of
eternal bliss.
14 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Britain's sheet-anchor: her tars and wooden walls.
Britain's pride and the world's wonder : her navy.
Chelsea Hospital and its supporters.
Commerce and trade always protected.
And British seamen never neglected.
Captain Broke and his brave seamen.
England's castles : her men of war.
England expects that every man will do his duty.
England : the anchor and hope of the world.
Every soldier, his light; and every deserter, a halter.
England's bull-dogs : may they ever be ready to re-
ceive the enemy in good style.
Field-marshall the duke of Wellington ; and our gal-
lant countrymen who fought under him.
General Frost; and the frightful climate that cooled
the courage of Bonaparte and sent him home in a
sledge.
Greenwich Hospital: and health to its supporters.
Good ships, fair winds, and brave seamen.
Grape shot to our friends, and chain shot to our ene-
mies.
Girls for sailors, and sailors well stored for girls.
Health, rhino, and a snug berth to every British
tar.
Here's to the tar a pleasing sail,
And a brisk and favouring gale.
Health, wealth, and ready rhino
To every tar that you and I know.
In the course of duty may we ever steer right sea-
ward.
In the voyage of life may content be our cabin-pas-
senger.
NAVAL AND MILITARY . 15
In the performance of our duty may we never run
foul of our neighbour's comforts or interests.
If the enemy's flotilla should come half-seas over
May the bull-dogs of Britain salute them at Dover.
Long may every foe tremble and every friend rejoice
at the arrival of a British fleet.
Lots of beef and oceans of grog.
Lieutenant-General Sir T. Maitland and the staff of
Ireland.
Lord Cochrane; and success to South American in-
dependence.
Lord Howe; and the glorious first of June.
May the tar who has lost a leg, an arm, or any of
his members in defence of his country be re-mem-
bered by his brave countrymen.
May the broken tar always find a haven ready to re-
ceive him.
May the boat of pleasure always be steered by the
pilot reason,
May the arms borne by a soldier never be used in a
bad cause.
May the British soldier never turn his bayonet
against his own countrymen.
May the laurel of Britain never fade through age, or
be blighted by cruelty to a fallen enemy, or be ob-
tained otherwise than by true honour.
May the ensigns of the British navy always prove
the harbinger of dismay and defeat to our enemies,
and of confidence and security to our allies.
May the tar who loses one eye in defence of his
country never see distress with the other.
May British soldiers and cowardice always be at war,
May our officers and tars be valiant and brave,
And our admirals loyal and true,
May they die by their guns, Britons' rights to
maintain,
And fight for the honor of British true blue.
16 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May good British hands have true British hearts.
May those who escape the quicksands of jealousy
never run on the shoals of indifference.
May we always disdain to roam abroad for that true
merit and genius which may always be met with
and ought to be encouraged at home.
May our seamen, from the captain to the cabin-boy,
be like our ships, hearts of oak.
May gales of prosperity waft us to the port of hap-
piness.
More hard-ships for Britain, and less to her enemies.
May the memory of the noble Nelson inspire every
seaman to do his duty.
May the pilot of reason guide us to the harbour of rest.
May every British seaman fight bravely, and be re-
warded honourably.
May no true son of Neptune ever flinch from his gun.
May rudders govern, and ships obey.
May no son of the ocean be devoured by his mother.
May our brave tars never be in the fleet (prison.)
May our Navy never know defeat but by name.
May the British thunder
Be the world's wonder.
May the British thunder, to the enemies of our coun-
try, appear as dreadful as the bolts of Jove.
May our sailors for ever prove lords of the main,
And the spirit of Nelson revive once again.
May the bark of pleasure be steered by the pilot of
reason.
May the gifts of fortune never cause us to steer out
of our latitude.
May our tars still keep their timbers together, and
the rotten planks of mutiny never disgrace the rud-
der of their understanding.
May wisdom be our pilot, and discretion our rudder,
At the squalls of this life, then we never need shudder.
May our admirals always act admirably.
NAVAL AND MILITARY. 17
May British hearts be like their ships—hearts of oak.
May the walls of each ship be more callous than
Troy,
And our brave tars' exertions restore peace and joy.
May we never want a Nelson to show the foe we can
be-at them with one hand.
May our enemies be pickled in the brine that pre-
serves Old England.
May the offspring of the brave tar who falls in de-
fence of his country, never know the want of a
protector and a home.
May the tars of old England triumphantly sail,
And over her enemies always prevail.
May the wounded and disabled seaman never be com-
pelled to depend on charity for support.
May the example of our heroes of the present day
"act as a stimulus to future ages.
May each soldier of England a bright aegis bear,
To defend them from treachery's dangerous snare ;
And whilst victory's laurels hang high o'er their
head,
May they pity the vanquished, and honour the
dead.
May every British officer possess Wolfe's conduct
and courage, but not meet with his fate.
May the soldier never fall a sacrifice but to glory.
May the enemy's flag be surmounted by the British
standard.
May the army of Great Britain never feel dismayed
at its enemies.
May the brow of the brave never want a wreath of
laurel to adorn it.
May the brave soldier who never turned his back to
the enemy, never have a friend turn his back to
him.
May bronze and medals not be the only reward of the
brave companions of the brave Wellington,
c
18 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the laurels of Great Britain never be blighted.
May no rotten members infect the whole corps.
May all weapons of war be used for warlike purpo-
ses only.
May all those who are engaged in defence of their
country, be more distinguished by honour and cou-
rage than by red coats and clean accoutrements.
May the army of Great Britain feel dismay at the
army of England.
May the British Mars always conquer the French
Hercules.
May we never be stranded at cuckold's point.
May light breezes waft us safely but not rapidly to
the haven of future felicity.
May Davy's locker be filled with growlers and grum-
blers.
Marshal Beresford; and the brave Portuguese.
May our cargo spread charity where there is need;
On our mess may the poor and the indigent feed.
May we e'er keep from envy our cabin so clear,
And may temperance stand at the rudder and steer.
May English fortitude and courage ever mock at dan-
ger.
May all battles fought in liberty's cause be repaid
with freedom and peace.
May the tar who has been tempest-tost at sea, al-
ways find a welcome on his native shore.
May success and seaman's cheer
Glad the jovial buccaneer.
Manliness, merit, true friendship and love, to every
British sailor.
May we ever ply industry's oars for health and fame,
And on the keel of our hearts implant a good name;
To honesty's compass may we be always bent,
And ride to the coast of perpetual content.
May our maritime rights never be invaded.
NAVAL AND MILITARY. 19
May every ship-wrecked seaman be blessed on a
happier shore.
May the soldier never forget the duty of a citizen;
nor use his bayonet but in the right place.
May those bright laurels never fade with years,
Whose leaves are watered by a nation's tears.
May all mutinous spirits make no-man's land, skulk
through Lubber's Hole, and at last be laid in the
dead sea.
May every honest man get to windward of false bay,
bring up in cape clear, and bespeak a snug berth in
the next world.
May we die at our guns ere we yield to the foe.
May the British flag ever fly at the main.
May every seaman steer, where honour points the
prow.
May the storm of life be followed by snug moorings.
May England, a world within herself, reign safe
within her floating towers.
May the bark of friendship never founder on the
rock of deceit.
Nelson's hands: the tars of old England.
Neptune's favourites : British tars.
Our naval affairs well managed.
Old England's wooden walls.
Oh long may the deeds of the hero be known,
As the pride of the people as well as the throne ;
And while justice exists, may the laurel of fame
Crown Great Britain's king, and great Wellington's
name.
Pretty frigates well rigged, and jolly boys to man
them.
Riches to the widows and orphans of seamen.
Safe arrivals to our homeward and outward-bound
fleets.
20 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Saturday night at sea.
Sir Home Popham : and a pop-home to all enemies.
Should the French come to Dover, may they miss-
Deal in their landing.
Success to the fair for manning the navy.
Spain, and her new constitution.
Soldiers, sailors, and all jolly fellows.
The British navy : may it ever sail on a sea of glory,
and wafted by the gales of prosperity, guided by
the compass of honour, enter the port of victory.
The Waterloo heroes; and may the widows and chil-
dren of those who fell in that battle, never feel dis-
tress through their death.
The duke of York, and the staff of Great Britain.
The British army : may its distinguishing character-
istics always be, fortitude in the hour of disaster,
courage in the hour of danger, and mercy in the
hour of victory.
The sea: and may it always bring a spring tide of joy.
The tar that sticks like pitch to his duty.
The foes well tarred, and our tars well feathered.
The world's check-string: the British navy.
The floating castles of Britain ; and health to their in-
habitants.
The unconquered navy of Great Britain ; and success
to its champions.
The immortal memory of Lord NELSON ; and may
every British admiral follow his example.
The wind that blows, the ship that goes, and the lass
that loves a sailor.
The sailor's reward : a safe shelter in the harbour of
Venus.
The port of Leith.
The battle of Trafalgar ; and may every brave fellow
who met his death in that glorious action, meet an
eternal reward.
The patriotic committee at Lloyd's; and the friends
that support it.
The truly brave and the truly good.
NAVAL AND MILITARY. 21
The world's wonder and envy, and Great Britain's
pride: her navy.
The British trio : Wellington, Hill, and Graham.
The soldier's boast: an unsullied honour.
The marquis of Huntly: and the brave 42nd regi-
ment.
The earl of Hopetown ; and the gallant 92nd regiment.
The Greeks: and may they never again fall under
Turkish bondage.
The modern Achilles, not the bronze in Hyde Park.
The naval promoters of all secret expeditions.
The mariner's safe return.
The Oxford Blues: that made the Cuirassiers look
black.
The Scotch Greys : that made the Eagles look black.
The Life Guards : that washed out in the blood of
Waterloo the blots of Piccadilly.
The battle of Maida, where inspired by Hope, the
British bayonet proved the invincibles vincible.
The words of the militia act: a standing force drawn
out and embodied.
The Highland bonnet: and those who wear it.
The heroes who fought for liberty in Scotland : may
they never be forgotten.
The memory of Scotland's heroes.
The army, the navy and those they protect.
The memory of a great general, and splendid ge-
nius, though ambitious, and tyrannic: Napoleon
Bonaparte.
The sweet little cherub that sits up aloft to keep watch
for the life of poor Jack.
The heroes who contend for freedom.
The British tars : and more feeling to those whom
they have protected.
The glorious cause of the Greeks.
The docks and yards that man the navy.
The port below Brest harbour.
The prince of navigation: Captain Cooke.
To him that goes to sea, fights at sea, dies at sea,
and comes home in good spirits.
'
22 THE TOAST-MASTER.
To the memory of Sir Thomas Picton, and all our
brave countrymen who fell at Waterloo.
The pilot that weathered the storm.
To the memory of Sir John Moore, and all the brave
fellows who fell with him in the action of Corun-
na : and may their gallant conduct stimulate every
British soldier in the hour of danger.
The tar's sheet-anchor : hope.
To the memory of Sir Ralph Abercromby; and may
the laurels which Scotland gained when he fell,
bloom to the latest ages untarnished by any of her
future warriors.
To the memory of all brave soldiers who fall in de-
fence of their country.
When honour is to be decided by the sword, may it
never find its way to the heart.
When death comes upon us and shews us his face,
May we never shrink from the unequal race.
But may we bear off to the harbour above,
Where dwells the chief Captain of mercy and love.
While Scotch, Irish, and English, compose the
bold crew
Of Great Britain ; to loyalty, justice, and liberty
true ;
While the standard united from her mast-head is
unfurl'd,
May she ride freedom's three-decker,
The glory and hope of a wondering world.
Victory's laurel : may it ever crown the heads of Bri-
tons.
Waterloo : may the victory gained that day never be
tarnished by future defeat.
§3
Masonic.
Let us toast every brother, both ancient and young.
Who bridles his passion and governs his tongue.
A proper application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we
may measure out and husband our time wisely.
All regular lodges.
All noblemen and right worshipful brothers who have
been grand masters.
All the friends of the craft.
All faithful and true brothers.
All free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft.
All brothers who have been grand masters.
As we meet upon the level, may we part upon the
square.
Every brother who keeps the key of knowledge from
intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a worthy
brother.
Every worthy brother who was at first duly prepar-
ed, and whose heart still retains an awful regard to
the three great lights of masonry.
Every brother who maintains a consistency in love,
and sincerity in friendship.
Golden eggs to every brother, and goldfinches to our
lodges.
Honour and influence to every public-spirited bro-
ther.
May the lodges in this place be distinguished for
love, peace, and harmony.
24 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our actions as masons be properly squared.
May all free-masons be enabled to act in a strict con-
formity to the rules of their order.
May the brethren of our glorious craft be ever distin-
guished in the world by their regular lives, more
than by their gloves and aprons.
May every worthy brother who is willing to work
and labour through the day, be happy at night
with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass.
May masonry flourish until nature expire,
And its glories ne'er fade till the world is on fire.
May concord, peace, and harmony, subsist in all re-
gular lodges, and always distinguish free-masons.
May every brother learn to live within the compass,
and watch upon the square.
May the prospect of riches never induce a mason to
do that which is repugnant to virtue.
May peace, harmony, and concord, subsist among
free-masons, and may every idle dispute and fri-
volous distinction be buried in oblivion.
May the square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the
conduct of every brother.
May masonry prove as universal as it is honourable
and useful.
May the morning have no occasion to censure the
night spent by free-masons.
May every brother have a heart to feel, and a hand
to give.
May covetous cares be unknown to free-masons.
May we be more ready to correct our own faults
than to publish the errors of a brother.
May every mason participate in the happiness of a
brother.
May discord, party rage, and insolence, be for ever
rooted out from among masons.
May all free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of
virtue.
May the hearts of free-masons agree, although their
heads should differ.
MASONIC. 25
May all free-masons live in love, and die in peace.
May the gentle spirit of love animate the heart of
every mason.
May every free-mason be distinguished by the inter-
nal ornament of an upright heart.
May every free-mason have so much genuine philo-
sophy, that he may neither be too much exalted
with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much deject-
ed with the frowns of adversity.
May the brethren in this place be united to one an-
other by the bond of love.
May the frowns of resentment be unknown among us.
May we never rashly believe any report which is
prejudicial to a brother.
May the conduct of masons be such as to convince
the world they dwell in light.
May no free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction.
May love animate the heart of every mason.
May every brother who is regularly entered be in-
structed in the morals of masonry.
May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever dis-
tinguish the brethren of the ancient craft.
May we never condemn that in a brother which we
would pardon in ourselves.
May every brother use the mallet in knocking off
those superfluous passions that degrade the man.
May our conversation be such, that by it youth may
find instruction, women modesty, the aged respect,
and all men civility.
May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of
domestic contentment.
May the foundation of every regular lodge be solid,
its buildings sure, and its members numerous and
happy.
May every free-mason have health, peace, and
plenty.
May every free-mason find constancy in love, and
sincerity in friendship.
May the free-mason's conscience be sound, though
his fortune be rotten.
26 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May temptation never conquer a free-mason's virtue.
May our evening's diversion bear the morning's re-
flection.
May the mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may
not be ashamed to take a retrospective view of it.
May every mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to
have an approved monitor.
May every society instituted for the promotion of
virtue flourish.
May the lives of all free-masons be spent in acts of
true piety highly seasoned with tranquillity.
May honor and honesty distinguish the brethren.
May virtue ever direct our actions with respect to
ourselves, justice to those with whom we deal,
mercy, love, and charity, to all mankind.
May no free-mason wish for more liberty than con-
sti^utes happiness, nor more freedom than tends to
the public good.
May the cares which haunt the heart of the covetous,
be unknown to the free-mason.
May no free-mason desire plenty, but with the be-
nevolent view to relieve the indigent.
May the deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-
son to abhor it in himself.
May all free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets
of freedom.
May hypocrisy, faction, and strife, be for ever root-
ed from every lodge.
Our royal brother the king, and the royal and ancient
craft.
Prosperity to masons and masonry.
Relief to all indigent brethren.
The grand lodge of England.
The grand lodge of Scotland.
The grand lodge of Ireland.
The female friends of free-masons.
The masters and wardens of all regular lodges.
To the memory of him who first planted the vine.
MASONIC. 27
To the perpetual honour of free-masons.
To the memory of the Tyrian artist.
To the secret and silent.
To the innocent and faithful craft.
To him that did the temple rear,
Who lived and died within the square,
And lies interred there's none know where,
But those who master-masons are.
To all masons who walk by the line.
To all who live within the compass and square.
To the increase of perpetual friendship and peace
among the ancient craft.
To all the kings, princes, and potentates, who pro-
pagate or protect the royal art.
To all the fraternity round the globe.
To all well-disposed masons.
To our royal most worshipful Master—the Duke of
Sussex.
To all free-born sons of the ancient and honourable
craft.
To all ancient free-masons, wherever dispersed.
To all those who steer their course by the three great
lights of masonry.
To him who first the world began.
To the memory of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and
other noble artists.
To masons, and to masons' bairns,
And all the fair with wit and charms
Who bless the favoured masons' arms.
The absent brethren of this lodge.
To our next happy meeting.
To the ancient sons of peace.
To all upright and pure masons.
To every pure and faithful heart
That still preserves the secret art.
To all social free-masons.
To all true masons and upright,
Who saw the east where rose the light.
28 THE TOAST-MASTER.
To masonry, friendship, and love.
To the nation's wealth and glory.
To each faithful brother, both ancient and young,
Who governs his passions and bridles his tongue.
The absent brethren of this lodge.
The heart which conceals, and the tongue which ne-
ver reveals.
The keystone of the masonic arch.
The mason who knows the true value of his tools.
To the king and craft.
To all true and faithful brothers.
To all the brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy.
To all firm friends of the faithful craft.
The three great lights of masonry.
To all those who regulate their conduct by the square,
plumb-line, and level.
To every brother who has a heart to feel and a heart
to give.
To every brother the four comforts of life : love, li-
berty, health, and contentment.
Come, fill up a bumper and let it go round,
May mirth and good fellowship always abound,
And may the world see
That free-masonry
Doth teach honest hearts to be jovial and free.
29
Bacchanalian.
Merry have we bet, and merry have we been,
Merry may we part, and merry meet again.
All healths round the wrekin.
A friend; and a bottle to give him.
A bottle at night, and business in the morning.
A drop of good stuff, and a snug social party,
To spend a dull evening, gay, social, and hearty.
A mirth-inspiring bowl.
A hearty supper, a good bottle, and a soft bed, to
every man who fights the battles of his country.
A friend in every glass—a mistress in every bowl.
A full belly, a heavy purse, and a light heart.
Beauty, wit, and wine.
Cheerfulness in our cups, content in our minds, and
competency in our pockets.
Champaigne to our real friends, and real pain to our
sham friends.
Clean glasses and old corks.
Full bags, a fresh bottle, and a beauty.
Good humour; and may it ever smile at our board.
Good wine and good company to the lovers of reason-
able enjoyment.
30 THE TOAST -MASTER
May our love of the glass never make us forget de-
cency.
May good fortune resemble the bottle and bowl,
And stand by the man who can't stand by himself.
May we act with reason when the bottle circulates.
May we never want wine, nor a friend to partake of
May the juice of the grape enliven each soul,
And good humour preside at the head of each
bowl.
May the moments of mirth be regulated by the dial
of reason. -
May mirth exalt the feast.
May the votaries of Venus be united with Bacchus.
May we bury our sorrows in the friendly draught.
May we never want a friend to cheer us, or a bottle
to cheer him.
May we always get mellow with good wine.
May we never be drunk at night nor dry in the
morning.
May Bacchus us mortals in pleasure e'er bind,
And shower his gifts for the good of mankind.
May we drink little and drink long.
May we drown in wine the greybeard—Care,
And smother in smoke the fiend—Despair.
May we always be able to regale an old friend with
a cask of old wine.
May friendship draw the cork, and love the curtain.
May we always mingle friendship with the cup.
May no care disturb the soul,
May no mortal man repine.
May we fill deep enough the bowl,
And all our cares be drowned in wine.
May we prize an old friend and love an old wife.
May every good fellow be found in port, and all bad
ones be obliged to sherry off.
BACCHANALIAN. 31
May wine never prove the cause of strife.
May wine never be the foe of love but always be Cu-
pid's dearest boast.
May we — like the earth — drink deep and yet be
thirsty.
May we drink all day and revel all night.
May we always be prepared for a world of pure spirits.
May wine always be the whetstone of wit.
May we never be out of spirits.
May we fill the bumper fair,
And may every drop we sprinkle
Upon the brow of care
Smooth away a wrinkle.
May we be always enabled to knock down gay Bac-
chus before he knocks us up.
May wine make cowards brave.
May we after swallowing good things be always
troubled with a bad digestion, so as to throw them
up again.
May merry-minded men meet many modest marriage-
able maids.
May fortune fill the cup where charity guides the
hand.
Now raise high the goblet, its virtues revere,
Let its praises in high-swelling numbers ascend ;
May it be the cement that binds us to the fair,
And the bond which unites the warm heart to a
friend.
Our heads cool
Our feet warm
And a glass of good liquor
To do us no harm.
Old wine and young women—the one corked and the
other uncorked.
Push round the glass boys, and be jolly,
Nor heed the pedant's idle stuff,
Whether 'tis wisdom or whether 'tis folly
'Tis pleasure boys, and that's enough.
32 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Solitary confinement to unsocial fellows.
Sunshine and good humour all the world over.
Social comfort to our social friends.
The lip and the glass and the merry good fellow
Who's always good company when he gets mellow.
The heart that fills as the bottle empties.
The right end of life,—Live and be jolly.
Three cheers for the man who first planted the vine.
The grand summum bonum of life—a bumper of wine.
The oftener wine is tasted may it be liked the better.
To our next merry meeting.
To our absent friends.
The spirit of the bowl.
To our social friends, all round the table.
The flowing bowl.
The barrel of old humming ale.
The joys of music, love, and wine.
The votaries of Bacchus and Venus; and may they
ever be united.
Wine to strengthen friendship and light the flame of
love.
Wine and women ; and may we always have a taste
for both.
Wine, women, and wit.
Wreathe the bowl with flowers of soul
The brightest, wit can find us ;
We'll take a flight towards heaven to-night
And leave dull earth behind us.
Wine : the parent of friendship, composer of strife,
The soother of sorrow, the blessing of life.
Wine: the spring-tide of life and the fuel of love.
Wine : for there's no medicine like it.
Wine : the bond that cements the warm heart to a
friend.
Wine and women : may we ever love them dearly.
Wine, women, and wassail.
33
.
Amatory.
To love and to woman our next Toast shall be,
For a desert is life, deprived of their joys;
And may we a heaven on earth ever see
In the virtue that breathes and the love that ne'er cloys
Then to woman, dear woman, our best wishes ever,
And may hearts once united be separate, never !
All that love can give and sensibility enjoy.
Artless love, and disinterested friendship.
A speedy union to every lad and lass.
Beauty without affectation, and virtue without de-
ceit.
Beauty, innocence, and modest merit.
Beauty's best companion—Modesty.
Charms to strike the sight, and merit to win the
heart.
Community of goods, unity of hearts, nobility of
sentiment, and truth of feeling to the lovers of the
fair sex.
Constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship.
Days of ease and nights of pleasure.
Delicious nights to every virtuous heart.
Fair laces and fair game.
Far hence, far hence, be jest or toast
From hallow'd thoughts so dear,
We'll drink to those we love the most
As they would love to hear.
I'll toast Britain's daughters, let all fill their glasses,
Whose beauty and virtue the whole world's
surpasses.
May blessings attend them go wherever they will,
And foul fall the man that e'er offers them ill.
D
31 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Here's a. health to the maid that is constant and
kind,
Who to charms bright as Venus adds Diana's mind.
Laughing lovers to merry maids.
Love, fire, frolic, and a good opportunity.
Love in a cottage, and envy to none,
Love without licentiousness, and pleasure without
excess.
Love and opportunity.
Love's slavery.
Love, liberty, and length of blissful days.
Love without fear, and life without care.
Life, love, liberty, and true friendship.
Love to one, friendship to a few, and goodwill to all.
Love for love.
Love in every breast, liberty in every heart, and
learning in every head.
Long life, pure love, and boundless liberty.
May the cautious fair never be deceived by the ap-
pearance of love.
May love and reason be friends, and beauty and pru-
dence marry.
May " Lovers' Vows" never end in " Lovers'
Quarrels."
May those who take the " Way to get married" find
"'a Cure for the Heart Ache."
May " Love's Labour" never be " lost," but may
the relation of " A Midsummer-night's Dream"
serve for " A Winter's Tale."
May the lovers of the fair sex never want the means
to defend them.
May the villain who robs my daughter of her virtue
outlive every friend.
May the joys of the fair give pleasure to the heart.
May the sparks of love brighten into a flame.
May the bud of affection be ripened by the sunshine
of sincerity.
May we be loved by those whom we love.
AMATORY. 35
May we kiss whom we please and please whom we
kiss.
May a virtuous offspring succeed to mutual and ho-
nourable love.
May the confidence of love be rewarded with con-
stancy in its object.
May the presence of the fair curb the licentious.
May the honourable lover attain the object of his
wishes.
May the wings of love never lose a feather.
May the lovers of the fair be modest, faithful and kind.
May the passions of women be stronger than the
prejudice of education.
May the blush of conscious innocence ever deck the
faces of the British fair.
May the generous heart ever meet a chaste mate.
May the union of persons always be founded on that
of hearts.
May the temper of our wives be suited to those of
their husbands.
May those who love truly be always believed,
And those who deceive us be always deceived.
May we give way to that which unbends the force of
thought—Love.
May the fair daughters of Britain be resplendent in
beauty, virtue, and honour.
May the fire of love never feel decay.
May the streams of rapture meet each other and stop
life in the middle current.
May we never overleap the bounds of prudence nor
trespass on the bosom of friendship.
May matrimony and domestic bliss go hand-in-hand.
May those who enter the rosy paths of matrimony
never meet with thorns.
May true passion never meet with a slight.
May every lover be faithful to his love.
May the true lover never be deceived in the object
of his affection.
May every woman have a projector but not a tyrant.
36 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the rose of the valley never wither nor be rifled
of its sweets.
May woman's bosom be pleasure's couch.
But free from thoughts unholy;
ay it be warm to virtue's touch,
But cold as ice to that of folly.
May caprice and coquetry be aliens to our females.
May the smiles of beauty enchain the fickle heart.
No magic but the magic of beauty.
Our favorite lass.
Sincerity before marriage and fidelity afterwards.
Success to the lover and joy to the beloved.
Sweetbriars ; and the agreeable rubs of life.
Sense to win a heart, and merit to keep it.
The spring of love, and the harvest of enjoyment.
The life we love with those we love.
The dignity of the fair sex.
The lass we love, and the friend we can trust.
The single married, and the married happy,
The comforts of matrimony, and the single happy.
The fountain of love in all its purity.
The companions of beauty—modesty and love.
The greatest blessing heaven can send—A good wife.
The pillars of love : kindness and constancy.
The face that nature paints, and the heart that knows
no deception.
The maiden's blush, and the virgin of fifteen.
The union of two fond hearts.
The love of liberty, and the liberty of love.
The pleasures of imagination realized.
The cockpit of love, and may all the mains be fought
without spurring.
The centre of attraction.
The chaste lip of love.
The dimpled cheek, may it never be clouded with
the blast of shame.
AMATORY. 37
The voice of her we love.
The agreeable odds—three to one.
The maiden, whose charms cannot cloy.
The rose of the valley, and may it never be rifled
of its fragrance.
The ladies!-God bless 'em,
And may nothing distress 'em.
The kiss of love on the lip of innocence.
The lass with a sparkling eye.
The eye that beams with love.
The joys of love.
The village maid; and may she remain so till she
gets a good husband.
The lass who avoids coquetry, and the man that ab-
hors seduction.
To Venus and love.
The fairest work of nature—woman.
The lover's dream realized.
The ladies; and the whole of them.
The lover's direction post.
The spring of love, and the harvest of enjoyment.
The roses of love without the thorns.
The dignity of the fair sex.
The cabbage of love : may it never be destroyed by
the caterpillar of deceit.
The fire of love : may it never decay.
The fair sex: may they never want lovers, nor their
lovers want means to defend them.
The true lover: may he ever be successful in his
suit.
The love of liberty and the liberty of love.
The ladies' toast: upstanding and uncovered.
The ladies: may they always have a right under-
standing.
The privilege of the fair sex : to make a man stand
uncovered.
When love attacks the heart, may honour be the
proposer of a truce.
38
Sporting.
Let the sports of the field be the toast we next pass.
Let us drink with full bumpers to every sweet lass;
With the joys of the chace only love can compare,
So " here's woman—dear woman—and hunting the hare."
May the end of the chace prove the beginning of
happiness.
May every sport prove as innocent as that of the
field.
May the thirst of blood never disgrace a British
sportsman.
May our hounds, horses, and hearts never fail us.
May every fox-hunter be well-mounted.
May those who love the crack of the whip never want
a brush to pursue.
May the heart of a sportsman never know affliction
but by name.
May the love of the chace never interrupt our at-
tention to the welfare of our country.
May the lovers of the chace never want the comforts
of life.
May the bows of all British bowmen be strong, their
strings sound, and may their arrows fly straight to
the mark.
May the day's sport when over make the blood
circle bright
And give the brisk lover new charms for the
night.
SPORTING. 39
May we always enjoy the pleasures of shooting, and
succeed with foul and fair.
May each mom and each day in sweet rapture
pass,
And no other comfort to share,
Than each night to refresh with a bottle and lass,
And feast on the spoils of the hare.
May strength the sportsman's nerves in vigor
brace;
May cruelty ne'er stain with foul disgrace
The well-earned pleasures of the chace.
May we never overleap the bounds of decency nor
break down the fences of virtue.
May love crown the night as our sports crown the
clay.
May we always run the game breast high.
May the horns of the buck never disgrace the sports-
man's brow.
May the pleasures of sportsmen never know an end.
The brave sportsman : that always erects his crest
the moment he sees the game.
The jolly sportsman that never beats about the bush.
The jolly sportsman that enters the covert without
being bit by the fox.
The huntress that never fails to start game.
The gallant hunstman that plunges into the deep in
pursuit of his game.
The huntress deer that does not wear horns.
The steady sportsman that always brings down his
game.
The two haunches well spitted.
The joys of angling.
The beagle that runs by nose and not by sight.
The staunch pack that a sheet will cover.
The staunch hound that never spends tongue but
where he ought.
The clear-sighted sportsman that sees his game with
one eye.
40
Political.
May politics never true friends disunite,
Nor spit its' venom on the sparkling glass;
May envious feelings sink in endless night,
And rage and malice ever from us pass.
May Tory, Whig, and Rad. for ever fight
To uphold our glorious constitution ;
And may no act of party spite
Bring on the horrors of a revolution.
A bill of exclusion to those who would serve their
own private end and neglect the public good.
Confusion to those who rearing the masts of patriot-
ism, desert the cause of liberty in the hour of trial.
Confusion to rotten boroughs and boroughmongers.
Death or Liberty.
Disappointment to those who form expectations of
places and pensions on the ruins of their country.
Earl Grey - and the supporters of the Reform Bill.
Here's a health to Old England, the king and the
church,
May all plotting contrivers be left in the lurch,
May England's brave monarch long fight our just
cause,
Establish true peace, our religion, and laws.
Here's to England, the ruler and queen of the waves,
May she ever be first to give freedom to slaves.
May she always extend to the weak and oppressed
Those blessings with which her own sons have
been blessed.
POLITICAL. 41
Honesty to our merchants, bravery to our soldiers
and sailors, wisdom to our senators ; and may
Christian charity and benevolence be spread abroad
through the land.
Health to my body, wealth to my purse,
Heaven to my soul, and I wish you no worse.
If the sea must not be our empire may it be our grave.
Lord Cochrane ; and the American Patriots.
May our peers be distinguished for their integrity,
or our Parliament Peerless.
May ministers while they are servants of the crown
never forget that they are representatives of the
people,
May the House of Commons always be uncommonly
attentive to the real interests of the Commonwealth.
May the influence of the crown always be destroyed
by its own corruption, and the liberties of the peo-
ple revive on their own spirit.
May we live to see and bless the day
When we've neither taxes to dread nor armies
to pay.
. May the house of Brunswick never forget the revo-
lution.
May the latter end of this century complete what the
latter end of the last century left imperfect.
May the people of England always oppose a bad mi-
nistry and give vigor to a good one.
May the armies and navies of Great Britain always be
successful in a good cause and never be engaged in
a bad one.
May the king form a government of unanimity, and
from that basis shake the world around him.
May we live to do good and do good to die happy.
May the blossoms of liberty never be blighted,
And the heart that is true never be slighted.
42 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the wings of liberty lose every feather.
Old England : and may those who ill-use her be
speedily kicked off.
Oblivion to all party rage.
Perdition to the man who owes his greatness to the
ruin of his country.
Sharp cats for the mice in the Treasury.
The king : his rights and no more.
The people : their rights and no less.
The Mouse of .. .. in the middle of the Thames, and
every honest member a cork jacket.
The electors created by the Municipal Reform.
The British Constitution in Church and State, and
may the union which age has cemented be for
ever inseparable.
The British Lion : may he never rise in anger nor lie
down in fear.
The sacred decree of heaven : Let all mankind be
free.
The ballot: the only mode of procuring a free and
equal representation in Parliament.
The press: the great corrector of abuses, the shield
of the oppressed, and the terror of the oppressor.
The press : the great bulwark of our liberties ; and
may it ever remain unshackled.
The steady friend of Ireland : Daniel O'Connel—and
his supporters.
To him who a patriot's course has steered
Mid faction's wildest strife unmoved,
By all who marked his course, revered,
By all who knew his heart, beloved.
The united Parliament of great Britain and Ireland.
The majesty of the people of England.
The cause of freedom all over the world.
The memory of our brave ancestors who brought
about the revolution, and may a similar spirit ac-
tuate their descendants.
I
POLITICAL. 43
The people : the only source of legitimate power.
The friends of religious toleration, whether they are
within or without the establishment.
The subject of liberty, and the liberty of the subject.
The British Constitution ; and confusion to those who
dislike it.
The American toast: the tree of liberty planted by
our fathers two-hundred years ago—not exclusively
adapted to the meridian of America but suited to
any clime or country, where education has pre-
pared the soil, and virtue attends with her pruning
hook.
" Political coopers."—Should any one attend to start
the hoops on the national cask, may he be hung up
wind-bound as a beacon.
" Charles the tenth's mistake—who thought by ex-
tinguishing the Dey in Algiers he could produce
darkness in France. Strange that one despot should
have so little sympathy for another."
Africa in 1836 :—
May her sons be enlightened and happy and free,
And her daughters be blest, as the fair sex should be;
May virtue and usefulness claim all their care,
And fashion and corsets be never known there.
" May the last French revolution prove as durable
as the first (the American) and less bloody, ter-
rific, and fruitless, than the second."
Vigour and unanimity to the true friends of our glo-
rious constitution.
The constitution of Old England, as settled at the Re-
volution ; may it flourish to the latest posterity,
and may the island of merchants never traffic in
blood.
44
Sentimental.
Next, a sentiment now we will give,
As of toasts we've had plenty before:
Here's to all absent friends, "both at home and abroad,
And may poverty keep from our door.
Ambitious wishes : genius and virtue.
A total abolition of the slave trade.
Adam's ale ; and may so pure an element always be
at hand.
A heart to glow for others' good.
A health to our sweethearts, our friends, and our
wives;
May fortune smile on them the rest of their lives.
As we bind so may we find.
All who act fair ; and the devil burn our enemies.
All our wants and wishes.
A period to the sorrows of an ingenuous mind.
All that gives us pleasure.
As we travel through life may we live well on the road,
An honest guide and a good pilot.
All our wants supplied,
And virtuous wishes satisfied.
All our absent friends on land and sea.
A heart to feel, and a heart to give.
SENTIMENTAL. 45
Equal punishment to the ragged rascal and the rich
villain.
Friendship without formality, and love without flat-
tery.
Gratitude to our friends, and grace to our toes.
Happiness to those who wish it to others.
Lenity to the faults of others, and sense to discover
May the son of our friend live to be a better man
May every honest man turn out a rogue.
May our great men be good, and our good men be
May poverty always be a day's march behind us.
May we never be lost to hope.
May we always mean well and act accordingly.
May we be kind—but not in words alone.
May good nature and good sense be ever united.
May goodness prevail when beauty fails.
May we shine in beauty, science, and arts.
May generosity never be overtaken by poverty.
May our pleasures continue and our sorrows be dis-
tant.
May our afflictions throw our virtues into practice.
May we never have cause to put on mourning.
May we be silent on the follies of others, of which
at a certain period of life we are ourselves guilty.
May our pleasures be boundless while we have time
May we succeed in all our lawful undertakings.
May the polished heart make amends for the rough
countenance.
46 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May every smooth face proclaim a smoother heart.
May the judgment of our benches never be biassed.
May every day bring more happiness than yesterday.
May the love of money never make us forget the
Christian duties.
May the shackles of prejudice never fetter the mind.
May time always unveil the beauties of truth.
May the best day we have seen be the worst we have
to come.
May the rough road of adversity lead us to final
prosperity.
May the consolation of rectitude sweeten the bitter-
ness of sorrow,
May our wants be sown in a fruitful soil so as to pro-
duce immediate relief.
May we derive amusement from business, and im-
provement from pleasure.
May we never envy those that are happy but strive
to imitate them.
May merit always prevail over folly and fashion.
May virtue find fortune always an attendant.
May reality strengthen the joys of imagination.
May our faults be written on the sea-shore, and
every good action prove a wave to wash them out.
May we never repine at our condition nor be depres-
sed by poverty.
May we never make a sword of our tongue to wound
a good man's reputation.
May the prison's gloom be cheered by the rays of
hope, and liberty fetter the arm of oppression.
May industry always be the favourite of Fortune.
May the faults of our neighbours be dim and their
virtues glaring.
May our distinguishing mark be merit rather than
money.
May genius and merit never want a friend.
May the rich be charitable and the poor be grateful.
May we live to learn, and learn to live well.
May the misfortunes of others be always examined
as the chart of our own conduct.
SENTIMENTAL. 47
May honour always allow honesty the duty due to
a parent.
May the deformity of other men's vices teach us to
abhor our own.
May we be more ready to correct our own faults
than to publish the faults of others.
May we never be so base as to envy the happiness of
another.
May those who flatter to betray
Meet a reward in their own way.
May we never hurt our neighbour's peace by the de-
sire of appearing witty.
May the gates of consolation be ever open to the
children of affliction.
May our wants never proceed from negligence of our
own creating.
May the unsuspecting female never be deceived by
the guile of deception.
May the morality of individuals become the policy
of nations.
Modesty in our discourses, moderation in our wishes,
and mutuality in our affections.
May bad examples never corrupt the morals of our
youth.
May the ascent of innocence shew clearly the descent
of infamy.
May our artists never be forced into artifice to gain
applause and fortune.
May prosperity never make us arrogant, nor adver-
sity mean.
May our thoughts never mislead our judgment.
May real merit meet reward, and pretension its pu-
nishment.
May artificial colouring be always perceived through
every veil of disguise.
May filial piety be ever the result of a religious edu-
cation.
May solid honour soon take place of seeming reli-
gion.
48 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May we live happy and die in peace with all man-
kind.
May noise and nonsense be ever banished from so-
cial company.
May the unsuspecting man never be deceived.
May a happy opportunity never be neglected.
May we never make matrimony a matter of money.
May honesty never be ashamed of an unfashionable
garment.
May depressed merit be always exalted.
May we never seek other people's lives by venturing
our own.
May conquest crown and mercy sanctify the sword
of justice.
May every mirr6r we look at cast an honest reflec-
tion.
May reason be enthroned a supreme monarch, and
passions be subject to his laws.
May virtue increase her exports and imports and vice
become a bankrupt.
May wisdom be the umpire when pleasure gives the
prize.
May the difference of creeds be ever left at the house
of prayer.
May the road of discretion lead the way to tranquil
repose.
May the poverty of spirit ever prohibit the miserly
accumulation of riches from the sweets of social
life.
Our friends, our country, and our laws, home, love
and liberty.
Opposition without interest.
Physic to the fool, the faithless, and the fastidious.
Poverty always at the rear, and hope and power
ready to assist.
49
Flash.
We have given a few Flash Toasts, in order hat the general reader
may be made acquainted with the sort of slang adapted at fancy
meetings, flash houses, &c. To the initiated they require no ex-
planation ; the uninitiated are better without such knowledge,
and, therefore, no translation is attempted.
-----
.
A hempen casement for the scrag of every nubbing
cheat.
A blowing up and a blowing down.
A bene crack, a trovitt morris, a hafen masquerade,
an even whack of datsacriams, and damn the nappy
tags.
All knowing coves and prime prigs.
All bodikins and lushing cribs,
All culls and pals and duffers too,
Who are known to me, and known to you.
Bub, grub, a clean wipe, a squeeze, and a goldfinch
twice a week.
Lamb and spinach, a light panter, and a heavy bung.
May our forks never have the farm-rust, nor a game
Yizzle Gaffer ever have the cannack ague.
May he that is scared at the thoughts of a Colquar-
ron stretch, never make a bulky lift, but the nub-
bing cheat lift in the hempen casement.
E
50 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the fear of the halter never break the neck of a
good crack, or the hazard of shoving the tumbler
cramp the fake of a bene-dive !
May we never leave lag a hempen widow.
May we always be able to flash the blunt; take a
flash of lightning; ever be flash coves ; keep a flash
mott; be fly to the big wigs and beaks ; and down
to every nip.
May every beak and knabber be well glim-fendered,
have his gob full of claret, and his squeeze well
scragged.
May we always be able to race our jacks, bait the
bull, flash a quid with a cull, fly the blue pigeon,
and pit our cock a doodle-doo.
May our motts tip the knowing dive
When sea-crabs gang the stroll;
By doing so we then shall thrive,
And in warm flannel roll.
May we never have a copy of uneasiness nor a Darby
roll.
Success to Fencer's wharf; luck to major bob ringing,
and prime grapps for the stiff kiddy.
The dance of " petticoat loose."
The loves of Jock and Jin.
The dapper that never deceives a locksmith's daugh.
ter.
The good crack and the bene diver.
To all pals at Peg Tandrums.
To all flue-fakers, mineral rakers, stiff-quakers,
shag-shakers, and crack-strakers.
The Blunt Magazine : may it stand for ever!
To all cockers, but not cockatrices.
The beggar's benison.
White swellings to every mott.
When the regular takes place, may we never be
" put in the hole."
51
Miscellaneous.
PART I.
The Ten Bibliomania Toasts drunken by the Roxburgh
Club.
1. The immortal memory of Christopher Valdarfer
printer of the Boccaccio of 1471.
2. The memory of John, duke of Roxburgh.
3. The memory of Gutenburg, Fust, and Schirffer,
fathers of the art of printing.
4. The memory of William Caxton, founder of the
British Press.
5. The memory of Lady Juliana Barnes and the
St. Albans' Press.
6. The memory of Wynkyn de Worde, Pynson and
Notary, the successors of Caxton.
7. The Aldine family at Venice.
8. The Giunti family at Florence.
9. The Society of the Bibliophiles Francais.
10. The prosperity of the Roxburgh Club : and in all
cases the cause of Bibliomania all over the world.
The Musicians' Toasts. — May the lovers of harmony
never be in want of a note, and its enemies die in
a common chord.
—May a crotchet in the head never bar the utterance
of good notes.
The Waiter's Toast.—The clever waiter who puts his
cork in first and the liquor afterwards.
52 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The Surgeon's Toast.—The man that bleeds for his
country.
The Glazier's Toast. — The praiseworthy glazier who
takes pains to see his way through life.
The Greengrocer's Toast.— May we spring up like ve-
getables, have turnip nose's, reddish cheeks, and
carrotty hair,—and may our hearts never be hard
like those of cabbages, nor may we be rotten at the
core.
The Tallow Chandler's Toast.— May we make light of
our misfortunes, melt the fair when we press them,
and make our foes wax warm in our favour.
The Speech of the Door-keeper of the House of Commons
" Ladies, fall back, and let the member enter."
The Printer's Toasts.—May we never be locked up for
want of a quoin, (coin).
—May the printer's form always rise when locked up
in the arms of his wife.
The Painter's Toast.— When we work in the wet may
we never want for dryers.
The Carpenter's Toasts.—May the landlord never chisel
a good tenant, nor send him to the bench.
—May the carpenter be well glued that gets a-board
wrongfully.
The Linen-Draper's Toast. — H-ell wide enough for all
dishonest lawyers.
The Lawyer's Toast. - May the depth of our potations
never cause us to let judgment go by default.
The Baker's Toast.—May we never be done so much
as to make us crusty.
The Tailor' s Toast. — May we always sheer out of a
law suit and by so doing cut bad company.
The Hatter's Toast.—When a rogue naps it may the
lesson be felt.
MISCELLANEOUS. 53
The Gardener's Toast.— May the jolly gardener never
disturb his wife's head by raking, nor have painted
ladies in his bed, have balsam and balm for his
wounds, husband his thyme well, raise a plum,
draw when he likes on the mint, and his strong
box ever be a source of delight,
The Tailor's Toast.—May we always stick close to the
skirts of a foe, trim well his jacket, and make him
skip like a flea to hell.
The Schoohlmaster's Toasts :—
Addition to patriots.
Subtraction to placemen.
Multiplication to the friends of peace.
Division to its enemies.
Reduction to abuses.
Rule of Three to kings, lords, and commons.
Practice to reformation.
Fellowship to Britons.
Discount to the national debt.
Decimal fractions to the clergy.
The Pawnbroker's Toast.— When we lend our cash to a
friend, may it be his interest to pay the principal,
and his principle to pay the interest.
The Irishman's Toast.—Liberty all over the world and
every where else.
The Toast of Sir William Curtis.—The three Rs—Rea-
ding, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic.
The Shoemaker's Toast.-May the Cobbler's lapstones
never fail him.
The Fishmonger's Toast.—A large Cod, a fine Maid,
and a good Plaice.
The Coachman's Toasts. —Two miles' pleasant ride on
the Bath road—from Hare-hatch to Maidenhead.
-The ingenious coachman: who goes through Mai-
denhead without leaving Staines behind him.
51 THE TOAST-MASTER
The Tradesman's Toast. — May we never depend on
fair promises for the payment of our bills, nor
trust for words of honey.
The Cobler's Toast.— The good-natured snob that will
give the awl to any sole that needs it.
The Servant's Toasts:—
Here's to them that are turned out,
And not to them that turned them out,
We hope to see them turned about;
Those turned in that are turned out,
And the devil turn them inside out
That turn'd a fellow-servant out.
May the God above
Send down his love
With knives as well as thistles ;
To cut the throats
Of gentlefolks
Who grudge their servants -wittals.
The Americans' Toasts.—The glorious memory of our
ancestors, who in 1775 at Bunker's Hill shed their
life-blood to establish our liberties.
—The memory of those who fought and bled with
Washington to secure our glorious constitution.
A blush of detection to the lovers of deceit.
A full purse, a fresh bottle, and a beautiful face.
A good health to the lads far away.
As we are formed by nature may we be refined by
art.
A fine girl, a plentiful fortune, and a residence in the
country of happiness.
A good judge, clever counsel, and conscientious wit-
nesses.
A full bottle and a friend to partake of it.
Administration without peculation.
A good horse, a warm house, a snug estate, and an
agreeable wife, to every one that deserves them.
MISCELLANEOUS. 55
A bumper round to the pretty ones,—
Here's to the girl with the blue eyes,
Here's to her with the jetty ones,
Where the languishing dew lies.
A friend in need.
A ram's horn filled to the brim with Usquebaugh,
Here's to the chief whose heart is brave,
That merrily lives in the mountain cave,
And bides by Greenwood law !
Who scorns the weather,
Who's bed's the heather,
Fill high, fill high together !
A toast to the charmer whose dimples we prize,
A toast to the damsel with none ;
A toast to the girl with a pair of blue eyes,
And a toast to the nymph with but one.
A friend: when we've got a bottle to give him.
A leg of mutton, a clean shirt, and a sovereign.
Absent friends on land or sea.
A health to the maid with a bosom of snow,
And to her with a face brown as berry ;
A health to the wife that looks eat up with woe,
And a health to the damsel that's merry.
An honest guide and a good pilot.
An attribute of heaven—mercy.
An elevated situation to the knave.
An honest lawyer, a pious divine, and a skilful phy-
sician.
All fortune's daughters except the eldest—Misfortune.
All our wants supplied, and virtuous wishes satisfied.
As sensibility is the child of nature may it ever be
cherished.
At the conclusion of amusement may we never have
occasion to regret its commencement.
All tales but tell-tales.
All we wish and all we want—when we ask nothing
unreaonsable.
56 THE TOAST-MASTER.
A bumper to womankind, clumsy or thin,
Young or ancient—it weighs not a feather ;
So fill a pint bumper—nay, fill to the brim,
And let's toast 'em, e'en all together.
Auld Langsyne.
A sound piece, a clean touch-hole, and plenty of
powder.
A bottle, a pipe, and a kind-hearted wife,
Just to make me feel happy the rest of my life.
A hearty supper, a full bed, and an agreeable com-
panion to every man.
All guardians of their native land : may they be en-
rolled in Honour's deathless page.
All friends round St. Paul's.
All friends at home.
As the hero lays his laurels at beauty's feet, may he
be rewarded in return by her choicest favours.
An honest heart, an honest cause,
An honest judge and honest laws,
A faithful wife and a stedfast friend,
Are the greatest blessings God can send.
A brisk and favoring gale, a pleasant sail and safe
return to every British seaman.
An Irishman ; may he always eat his potatoe without
peel.
A heavy purse and a light heart.
A dainty maid in a bed of rushes.
A little health, a little wealth,
A little house and freedom,
"With some few friends for certain ends,
But little cause to need 'em.
A friend in the morning, a mistress at night,
To till us with pleasure and blissful delight.
A pot and a whiff and a good-natured wife.
A head to earn and a heart to spend.
Ail charitable institutions.
MISCELLANEOUS. 57
A bumper, a friend, and the girl of our heart.
A freehold in a happy land, untaxed and unmortga-
ged.
A hornpipe without shoes to him who betrays his
friend.
A hearty welcome to every sociable soul.
A cordial in grief—content.
A southerly wind and a cloudy sky.
A short road out of the Court of Chancery.
A speedy accomplishment to all our secret wishes.
A health to those we love best.
A constant lover and a sincere friend.
Bachelor's hall.
Be honour our magnet and discretion the compass.
Beauty without pride.
Blest with content and from misfortune free,
Blest may we live, and happy may we be.
Britannia's Toast: lovely women and brave men.
Care at the bottom of a well without hope of being
released.
Come, fill up a bumper all round
Here's a health to all good-humoured lasses;
There's nothing on earth to be found
So cheerful as full-brimming glasses.
Chastity in wedlock.
Conscious innocence, and constant independence.
Come push the goblet round—
And drive away dull sorrow ;
Come push the goblet round,
We'll have more to-morrow.
Conscious honour—when peace of mind is absent.
Calamity to those who would make us feel calamity.
Cash payments, and plenty of them.
Calm nights and cheerful days.
Concord to the just, and a strong cord to the unjust.
58 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Charity without ostentation, and religion without
bigotry.
Chaste matrons, and prudent maidens.
Come, every man now give his toast,
Fill up the glass I'll tell you mine ;
Wine is the mistress I love most,
This is my toast—now give me thine.
Conscience to the usurer, honesty to the lawyer, and
compunction to the doctor.
Come fill the glass and drain the bowl,
May Love and Bacchus still agree ;
And every Briton warm his soul
With Cupid, Wine, and Liberty.
Come send round the wine, and leave points of belief
To simpleton sages and reasoning fools ;
This moment's a flower too fair and too brief,
To be wither'd and dimm'd by the dust of the
schools.
Your glass may be purple, and mine may be blue ;
But, while they are fill'd from the same bright bowl,
The fool who would quarrel for difference of hue
Deserves not the comfort they shed o'er the soul.
Drink to her who long
Hath waked the poet's sigh—
The girl who gave to song
What gold could never buy.
Despair and misfortune—in the deserts of Arabia.
Delicate pleasures to susceptible minds.
Desire and ability to do good.
Drink ye to her that each loves best,
And if ye nurse a flame,
That's told but to her mutual breast,
We will not ask her name.
Emulation in various breasts.
Every thing of fortune but her instability.
MISCELLANEOUS. 59
Envy in an air-pump, without a passage to breathe
through.
Equal punishment to the ragged rascal and the rich
villain.
Every man that does his duty.
Fill up the glass, 'tis friendship's due,
Here's to all friends the world around,
But chiefly him whose ardent soul
Can glow beneath the northern pole,
As o'er the salt wave, homeward bound,
He wafts an anxious thought of you.
Fair play among players.
Fair days, fair times, and fair ladies.
Fortune to the fair, and contentment to their lovers.
"Forgiveness to our enemies, and oblivion to our inju-
ries. .
Friend, fill your glass and then we'll part:
Here's to the girl we love most dear,
Who when no chiding tongue is nigh,
Breathing for us the midnight sigh,
Her glowing cheek wet with a tear,
In fancy folds us to her heart.
Fortune to the brave, and contentment to honesty.
Fortune to the firm, the faithful, the friendly, and
the forsaken.
Frank speaking and no deceit.
Friendly may we part, and quickly meet again.
Friendship with a little interest.
Fill to the brim, and let the goblet's face
Smile with the sparkling purple-Drink,
My friends, the health—
" Our Country!"
Ever may she prove the rock of liberty.
And her brave sons, to distant ages,
Emulate your zeal.
From discord may harmony arise.
Friendship in marble, animosity in dust.
60 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Fill up your glass ; while a relic of truth
Is in man or in woman, this prayer shall be mine,
That the sunshine of love may illumine our youth,
And the moonlight of friendship console our decline.
Fill, fill the glass, to beauty charge,
And banish care from every breast;
In brisk Champagne, come lets discharge,
A toast shall give the wine a zest:
And with sweet love the soul delight,
Making e'en dull misery smile,
Here is our ornament so bright,
The fair of Britain's Isle.
And now, let us drink to the girl who betrays
Her fondness by blushing; grows pale if we praise;
Who's heart swells with love; who's glances reveal
The passion which burns—and she burns to conceal.
Friendship : the social bond of life.
Fox-hunting, friendship and love.
Frugality without meanness.
Gaiety and innocence.
Generous sentiments, and actions to correspond.
Glory to the hero, and success to the lover.
Genial joys to genial souls.
Girls fair, fond, and frolicsome.
Gold to every lad distressed by misfortune's leaden
hand.
Glad hearts to good souls.
Gratitude to acknowledge kindness, and sense to for-
get injuries.
Gratitude to acknowledge favours done.
Gratitude to preserve our old friends, and good be-
haviour to procure new ones.
Great men honest, and honest men great.
Harmony all over the world.
Hastiness in doing good, and tardiness in doing evil.
Health to our host, and thanks for our liberal enter-
tainment.
MISCELLANEOUS. 61
Health for our physician, and content for our nurse.
He who would scorn to betray either friend or
enemy.
How brilliant the sun look'd in sinking !
The waters beneath him—how bright!
Oh ! trust me, the farewell of drinking
Should be like the farewell of light.
You saw how he finished by darting
His beams o'er a deep billow's brim,
So fill up, let's shine at our parting,
In full liquid glory like him.
Health to every father of a family ; and may he al-
ways meet with love, duty and respect from his
offspring.
Health to my dear, and long unbroken years
By storms unruffled and unstain'd by tears ;
Wing'd by new joys may each white minute fly,
Spring in her cheek, anil sunshine in her eye. '
Heaven to those who wish for it, and repentance to
those who do not.
Health, happiness, riches, and a good wife.
Health of body, peace of mind, a clean shirt, and a
guinea.
i Happy are we met,
Happy have we been,
Happy may we part,
And happy meet again.
Health, wealth, and a pretty wife
To every honest soul for life.
Here's to the month that can keep a secret.
Here's life daintily dressed with the sweet sauce of
kisses.
Honour among attornies.
Honest men and bonnie lasses.
Honour's best employment: the protection of inno-
cence.
62 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Holiness to our clergy, and humility to our rulers.
However obscure we are by birth may we never be
renowned for crimes.
Here's may we steal
Along the vale
Of humble life secure from foes ;
With friends sincere,
And judgment clear,
And gentle business our repose.
Humanity in prosperity, and fortitude in distress.
Here's a health to old honest John Bull,
When he's gone we shan't meet such another;
With hearts and with glasses brim-full
Let's drink to Britannia his mother :
For she gave him a good education,
Bid him keep to his church and his king !
Be loyal and true to the nation,
And then to be merry and sing.
Here's joy and success to the land of my birth,
The loveliest land on the face of the earth ;
To the lambs and the heifers that follow my call-
My father, my mother,
My sister, my brother—
And the girl of my bosom the joy of them all.
Here's to the maiden of bashful fifteen,
Here's to the widow of fifty—
Here's to the flaunting extravagant queen,
And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.
Here's a health to the ladies at home,
Here's a health to the ladies awa;
And wha winna pledge with all their soul,
May they never be smiled on at a'.
Here's health to the bright eyes at hame,
Here's health to the bright eyes awa,
Here's health to the beauties of every clime,
And may we be smiled on by a'.
MISCELLANEOUS. G3
Humbug to those who intend humbug.
Here's to the lassie bright
With lips red as cherry,
And eyes like the stars of night.
Humanity to all created beings ; especially to those
of our own species.
Here's to the man, and may he never grow fat
Who wears two faces under one hat.
Integrity in those who wear the robe of justice.
In the comedy of life may errors be excepted.
In all we do may conscience be our director.
Ireland's harp all over the world.
I'll give you sweet home, and our spouses so comely,
-For our home is home, be it ever so homely.
Jews : without usury.
Kindness in marble, and animosity in dust.
Liberality in booksellers, and principle in authors.
Luck in a bag, and shake it out as you want it.
Let each take his glass,
Fill'd up to the brim,
And drink the dear lass
Intended for him.
Let's toast the brave hero whom heaven did ordain
To quell wicked tyrants, and nations to free ;
Who humbled proud Louis, and cut through the
chain
That he made for the people of every degree :
We'll drink the brave hero, we'll toast the brave hero
William the glorious, the gallant Nassau !
The hero who sav'd us when James had enslav'd us,
The hero who sav'd our religion and law.
Let Omnibus Wiccamicis in a bumper now go round
And wave your bonnets, boys, unto the ground.
64 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Let fame frown, fortune lower, and friends betray,—
so as our love proves constant, and our wives true,
may we never care for rank and riches.
Lovely women ; may they ever find protection under
our military power, and pleasure under pur naval.
Love and harmony : may they ever be united.
Let the toast pass,
Drink to your lass,
Nor fear that she'll prove an excuse for the glass.
Maids and bachelors married, and soon so,
Wives and husbands happy, and long so.
May the folly of those who ape the manners of the
great be always hold up to ridicule.
May opinion ever float on the waves of ignorance.
May we look forward with pleasure, and backward
without regret.
May our actions ever evince this belief, that honesty
is the best policy.
May the honest heart never feel distress.
May the chilling blasts of adversity, prejudice, and
ignorance, never blight the early dawnings of
merit.
May we never break a joke to crack a reputation.
May the pleasures of youth afford us consolation in
old age.
May bashful merit rise to favour, and daring inso-
lence fall into contempt.
May the wealth of rogues devolve on honest men.
May every virtuous woman be happy, and every vi-
cious one penitent.
May we all make amends by confessing our faults.
May all the sweets of life combine —
Mirth and music, love and wine.
May we all count like Jews and agree like brethren.
May we always bind fast and find fast.
May we always sail in pleasure's boat.
May the mouth that has no teeth be well fed.
MISCELLANEOUS. 65
May we always enjoy the end of a feast better than
the beginning of a fray.
May every friend be as welcome as the bowl of a
pint stoup.
May no lazy man ever have a careless master.
May every good suitor have a good cause.
May every honest man make money and be wise
enough to keep it.
May justice and mercy for ever entwine.
May every man be wise enough to take that counsel
which even a fool can give.
May our conscience and our sleep be sound.
May no man rise by the misfortunes of his fallen
master.
May no worthy heart be sorrowful or dry.
May those who will sit no where but in ill company
always sit alone.
May we always have more occasion for the cook
-than the doctor.
May we all be able to keep the doctor on the wrong
side of the door.
May our children seek from us rather than we from
mem.
May the high-mettled racer never become a hack on
the road.
May fortune fill the cup where charity guides the
hand.
May our injuries be written in sand and our friend-
snip in marble.
May health paint the cheek and sincerity the mind.
May our endeavours to please be always crowned
with success.
May the heart that sympathises in the distress of
another never sorrow over its own misfortunes.
May we never be in want of a guinea when our
friend is.
May the morning of prosperity shine on the evening
of adversity.
May the devil never receive visits at home nor pay
them abroad.
F
66 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May we never want a bait when we fish for content.
May flattery never sit in the parlour nor plain deal-
ing be kicked out of doors.
May war never be among us.
May we look around us with pleasure and upward
with gratitude.
May the bud of sincerity ever blossom in the bosom
of friendship.
May liberty never degenerate into licentiousness.
May we never swear an honest girl out of her virtue
nor an honest man out of a just debt.
May our wants be reduced and our comforts multi-
plied.
May the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds of
care.
May we never know want till relief is at hand.
May the glass fly about .
Till the bottle is out
Let each do to each as he's done to;
Foul fall those that hug
Th' abominable jug,
Amongst us heteroclita sunto.
May the pleasure of return bear up the spirits of the
absent.
May those in place be what they profess when out of
place.
May we always see our neighbours' distress with an
eye of compassion.
May the mind never feel the decay of the body.
May the rich be charitable and the poor grateful.
May virtue find fortune always an attendant.
May harmony arise from the ashes of discord.
May temptation never conquer virtue.
May wisdom and discretion be our topsail.
May we act our parts well on the theatre of life.
May every moment be as happy as the last.
May we live respected and die regretted.
May the fiery trial of adversity lead us to prosperity.
May meanness never accompany riches.
MISCELLANEOUS. 67
May we never be blind to our own errors.
May we cherish hope and conquer fear.
May generosity meet with its own reward.
May the tear of sensibility never cease to flow.
May we be slaves to nothing but our duty.
May we never feel want or ever want feeling.
May we always look forward to better things but ne-
ver be discontented with the present.
May hemp bind those whom honour cannot.
May our happiness be sincere and our joys lasting.
May we never know sorrow but by name.
May the honey of rectitude sweeten the bitterness of
adversity.
May the cheerful heart never want a companion.
May we never sacrifice at the shrine of deceit.
May we never masque but at a masquerade.
- May the law of humanity be put in force against the
perpetrators of cruelty.
May poverty never stare us in the face without pre-
senting hope.
May our principles be upright and our morals pure.
May discerning eyes bestow charity and deserving
objects receive it.
May we never envy those who are happy but always
strive to imitate them.
May we never murmur without a cause or ever have
cause to murmur.
May we derive amusement from business and im-
provement from pleasure.
May honor and friendship eternally reign
May each brother mason the truth so maintain,
That all may agree
Generous free-masonry
Is the tie of all ties—life's noblest chain.
May we always feel for another's distress.
May our bosoms ever glow with pity.
May we never be the slaves of interest or of pride.
May care be a stranger where virtue resides.
May private grief never affect the public welfare.
68 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our wants be sown in so fruitful a soil as to
produce immediate relief.
May industry be always rewarded as the favourite of
fortune,
May we never make a sword of our tongues to wound
the character of good men.
May bigotry, superstition, and all manner of reli-
gious tyranny soon come to an end.
May the poor merit esteem and the rich veneration.
May honesty never want a competency.
May the hand of lenity heal the sores of calamity.
May we be always as merry as wise and wise as
merry.
May he who has a spirit to resent a wrong have a
heart to forgive it.
May the road of discretion lead us to the home of
perfect content.
May the charms of music harmonize our thoughts.
May avarice lose its purse and benevolence find it.
May hope be the physician when calamity is the
disease.
May virtue be our armour when assailed by wicked-
ness.
May merit never be compelled to beg for reward.
May reason be our ' fortress ' and truth our ' finger-
post' through the journey of life.
May the vicious thorn be eclipsed by the budding
rose.
May care be a stranger to every honest heart.
May we do as we would be done by.
May we never want an excuse.
May they never want who have a spirit to spend.
May he that made the devil take us all.
May fortune recover her eye-sight and be just in the
distribution of her favours.
May good nature and good sense for ever be united.
May our afflictions bring our virtues into practice.
May we always part with regret and meet again with
pleasure.
May might never overcome right.
MISCELLANEOUS. 69
May we live in pleasure and die out of debt.
May we never cease to deserve well of our country.
May the journey through life be as sweet as it is
snort.
May the benevolent never know poverty.
May justice overtake oppression.
May we look forward and be pleased, and in the
same humour when we look back.
May the turnpike road to happiness be free from
toll-bars and byeways, and furnished with guide-
posts.
May the miser live unfriended and die unlamented.
May misfortune make us wise.
May the extremities of modes only be imitated by
fools.
May modest dulness always be preferred to learned
arrogance.
May those of high birth always have a humble mind.
May the body be as active as the mind.
May we never suffer for principles we do not hold.
May the prison gloom be cheered by the rays of hope,
and liberty fetter the arm of oppression.
May vanity be punished with inattention and merit
be rewarded with respect.
May our conduct be such as to bear the strictest scru-
tiny.
May length of days be crowned with prudence.
May we always be in possession of the power to
please.
May we live long and enjoy the providence of
Heaven.
May our looks never be at variance with our
thoughts.
May the good name that is lost be always retrieved.
May our pleasures be free from the stings of remorse.
May we be slaves to nothing but our duty, and friends
to nothing but merit.
(May virtue ever direct our actions with respect to
ourselves, justice to those with whom we deal,
mercy, love, and charity to all mankind.
70 THE TOAST-MASTEK
May we strive to avoid law as we do the devil.
May we always delight to please.
May the new year help to make us old.
Mercy to the vanquished and punishment to the re-
bellious.
May pleasure tempt and virtue move.
May we never rush intrepid to vice.
May the faults of our neighbours be hid and their
virtues glaring.
May the desires of our hearts be virtuous and those
desires gratified.
May we always command success by deserving it.
May we always be attached to those who persevere
in generous endeavours to promote the welfare of
their country.
May we never speak to deceive and listen to betray.
May prosperity ever be the attendant of a humane
and benevolent heart.
May we always be able to resist the assaults of pros-
perity and adversity.
May all men of base principles be abandoned by
their principals.
May the pilot of reason guide us to the harbour of
rest.
May the best day we have seen be the worst we have
to come.
May trade and manufactories be unrestrained by the
fetters of monopoly.
May truth and liberty prevail throughout the world.
May the poor find a revolution in the hearts of pa-
rish trustees.
May we cease to blame the ways of providence.
May those who are first in sway be first in virtue.
May the present meeting be often repeated.
May love and honour be inseparable.
May we always rather have an empty house than a
bad tenant in it.
May we never gut our fish till we get them.
May we never begin what we can not end.
May a white man never have a black child.
MISCELLANEOUS 71
May the sores of poverty be covered with the soft
plaster of Thomas Rippon.
May no man ever stand for a rotten borough.
May we never be angry or hungry.
May we never lose that excellent weapon—a good
tongue.
May every liar be possessed of a good memory.
May we never have a light purse or a heavy heart.
May the artless maid escape the villain's snare.
May every man be what he thinks himself to be.
May we never be quick at learning an ill lesson.
May hope be our steady sheet-anchor.
May good humour preside when good fellows meet,
And reason prescribe when 'tis time to retreat.
May we never look up with envy to those who look
down with contempt.
May virtuous hearts spend delicious nights.
May the trade of corruption be speedily annihilated.
May the hinges of hospitality never creak.
May every Paul Pry receive a good lashing,
A good ducking, and a good thrashing.
May the kind-hearted man never know what it is to
have an enemy.
May we strengthen the weak, give light to the blind,
Clothe the naked, and be friends to mankind.
May all worthy men walk on the level of honour and
truth.
May we always be possessed of that true peace of
mind, which exists in reason and the accomplish-
ment of our duty.
May justice and truth on the forecastle stand,
And religion dictate the word of command.
May we always do good when we can - speak well of
all the world, and never judge without the fullest
proof.
May we never make fools' haste.
.
72 THE TOAST-MASTEK.
May modesty always increase the beauty of woman
excuse ugliness, be the attraction of the heart, and
the guard of virtue.
May we always be ready to give the devil his due.
May our officers and tars be valiant and brave,
And our admirals loyal and true;
May they die by their guns Britons' rights to main-
tain,
And fight for the honor of true British Blue.
May the thief transportedly hail a new region.
May we never listen to calumny nor hasten to con-
demn.
May we in each book let the fair of each nation
Be printed with notes of deserv'd admiration ;
And those whose faux pas furnish scandal with data
Be only mention'd at the end amongst the errata.
May we never have cause to weep for hours that are
gone,
But look with pleasure's brightening eye on those
that are to come.
May we ever love a lass, and ever love a glass.
May the brave man live for ever in the record of
fame.
May fools make feasts for the wise to eat
And the wise make jests for fools to repeat.
May we never lend a staff to break our own heads.
May our endeavours to please be always crowned
with success.
May we never put our finger into another man's pie.
May we all make sport but mar none.
May we never brew to treat drunkards.
May we never be in want of a clean pipe or a full
glass.
May no errors be found when our accounts are made
up.
May the excesses and vices of great men never set a
ruinous and fatal example to their inferiors.
I MISCELLANEOUS. 73
May those that are single get wives to their mind,
And those that are married true happiness find.
May we always be happy with little than sad with
nothing.
May the conduct of great men be such as to attract
admiration and gain our affection.
May inequality of condition never be a bar to friend-
May love ever find out the way to melt the stony
heart.
May oppression be well-shaved, and injustice be well-
lathered.
May the hunter of the woods repair
From the chace of the fox to the charms of the fair.
May each dull, pedantical, text-spinning vicar
Leave off dry-preaching, and stick to his liquor.
May the coward never wear a red coat nor the hypo-
crite a black one.
May the tongue be the index of the heart.
May poor Teague eat his potatoe in peace and quiet-
ness.
May casual mistakes never be construed into wilful
crimes.
May anew-married pair know no other separation
but death, and divorce be a stranger.
May the defenders of the cross never be subdued by
the crescent.
May we never speak nor act when urged by anger.
May he who thinks to cheat another, cheat himself
most.
May the rays of knowledge cheer mankind,
And be to no one point confined.
I May the heart never know a transport, that can ne-
ver feel a pain.
May every trade be bread to an honest man, though
he may happen not to have been bred to his trade.
May every dream of happiness be realized.
74 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Mirth and music, love and wine.
May you live for forty years, and I be a witness of it.
My charming girl, my friend and pitcher.
May dead men open the eyes of the living.
May no man's head ache while he comforts another.
May he who is an ass, and takes himself to he a stag,
when he comes to leap a ditch find out his mistake.
May we either say nothing of the absent or speak
like a friend.
May the good that we wish for match what we have
got, [lot.
And those be truly content who are pleased with their
May we always have two strings to our bow.
May we keep our mouth shut and our eyes open.
May the sickness of the body ever prove the health
of the soul.
May we ever be at home to a T.
May evil curses like young chickens always go home
to roost.
May hunger never fail of a good cook.
May we gain cash sufficient for praiseworthy ends,
Just enough for ourselves, and the rest for our friends.
May we never raise in beauty's frame
The burning blush of guilty shame.
May the British fair ever bestow on the gallant de-
fenders of their country their choicest smiles and
sweetest favours.
Man's heart: may it never be the plaything of
passion.
May beauty's eye never beam with brightness if it
beams only to betray.
May the hallow'd name of wife
Bring us rapture, truth, and health :
Her breast our pillow, arms our home,
Her heart our dearest wealth.
May every man lose his nose who only employs it to
poke into other people's affairs.
MISCELLANEOUS, 75
My woman, your woman, but not every body's wo-
man.
May every Briton at honor's call spring forth to meet
his country's foes.
May we never be troubled with those troublesome
bedfellows—bugs or scolding wives.
May we dare to be generous, dauntless and gay,
And merrily pass life's remainder away :
Upheld by our friends while our foes we despise,
Then the more we are envied the higher we rise.
Nature's bank: may it never fail.
No magic but the magic of beauty's eyes.
Oblivion to party rage.
One bumper at parting !—tho' many
Have circled the board since we met
The fullest, the saddest of any,
Remains to be crown'd by us yet.
The sweetness that pleasure has in it
Is always so slow to come forth,
That seldom, alas, till the minute
It dies, do we know half it's worth !
But, oh! may our life's happy measure
Be all of such moments made up,
They're born on the bosom of pleasure,
They die in the tears of the cup.
Oblivion to care,
And death to despair.
Opposition without interest.
On that throne where once Alfred with glory was
seated,
Long, long, may our King by his people be greeted!
Oh! to guard him we'll be of one mind :
May religion, law, order, be strictly defended,
And continue the blessings they first were intended,
In union the nation to bind.
Our own fire side.
I
76 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Our wives, homes, country, and king.
Our Tars : and brave heroes to lead them on to vic-
tory.
One wife, one bottle, and one friend: the first with-
out a tongue, the second never empty, and the last
ever faithful.
Our only friend—money.
Our old friend—roast beef.
Our old wooden walls.
Our own noble selves.
Our favourite lasses.
Our wives, our children, and our homes.
Our chase shall ever gaily be,
Women and Wine before us,
We'll hunt the bottle merrily,
And smack the kissing chorus.
On the natural rights of man may every civil go-
vernment be founded.
Of all life's jovial pleasures may we have an over-
flowing bowl.
Prudence in our cups.
Polished hearts and rough faces.
Paddy O'Blarney's Toast—Arrah may we live all the
days of our lives.
Prosperity to the good, and a speedy reformation to
the wicked.
Pleasures which please on reflection.
Pleasure's boat: a sail in it to every friend.
Put round once more the sparkling wine,
'Tis a cup to love and beauty ;
Then England, hearts and swords are thine,
Thine are our lives, and duty.
We'll boldly hail pur country's call,
And die or be victorious—
'Tis nobler with the brave to fall
Than live a life inglorious.
Promises well kept, and bills duly honoured.
MISCELLANEOUS. 77
Pray Heaven every huntsman may always be able to
pay his shot.
Peace of mind and conscious honor.
Peace, plenty, and joy.
Palsy to the hand of the assassin.
Peace, plenty, and content to every true Britain.
Physic to the fool, the faithless, and the fastidious.
Peace to the peaceful.
Plenty to the poor, and feeling to the rich.
Plenty to the benevolent, and poverty to the miser.
Plenty to a generous mind.
Poverty always in the rear, and hope and power
ready to assist.
Politeness without affectation, and plain dealing
without rudeness.
Protection and provision to the industrious.
Prudes without incontinence.
Push round the glass, boys, and be jolly,
Nor heed the pedant's idle stuff—
Whether 'tis wisdom, or 'tis folly,
'Tis pleasure, boys, and that's enough.
Punctuality in all our engagements.
Reason in our actions, religion in our thoughts, and
reflection in our expressions.
Resolution to the undetermined.
Renown to those who are worthy of it, and repro-
bation to those who deserve it.
Relief to all oppressed and distressed.
Religion without priestcraft, and politics without
party
Reason to the passionate.
Riches to the generous, and power to the merciful.
Riches and honour to the charitable and humane.
Remember wherever your goblet is crown'd,
Through this world whether eastward or west-
ward you roam,
When a cup to the smile of dear woman goes round,
Oh! remember the smile which adorns her at home
78 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Refinement without dissimulation, and honesty with-
out rudeness.
Roger: may he never want a companion.
Riches to the generous, and power to the merciful.
Reason and prudence—the chief supporters of Bac-
chus.
Sanctity in appearance, without hypocrisy at heart.
Saturday night at sea.
Sense to win a heart and merit to keep it.
Scotland, and the production of its soil.
Scotch learning and universities.
Scotch hospitality.
Scotch whisky and Scotch cakes.
Scottish heroes; and may their fame live for ever,
Sound law, and little need of it.
St. George, England, and the Rose.
Success to the promoters of commerce.
Success to navigation and commerce.
Success to South America.
Speed the plough.
Solitary confinement to unsociable fellows.
Sunshine and good humour all the world over.
Success to those who fight for their country's free-
dom.
Send a bumper around boys, and fortune defy,
Dull wisdom all happiness sours :
Since life is no more than a passage at best,
May we strew the way over with flowers.
Sincerity in speaking, integrity in acting.
Success to the promoters of commerce.
Song, joke, mirth, and glee.
Solid honor in the place of seeming religion.
Some men want youth and others health,
Some from a wife will often shrink :
Some men want wit and others wealth,
May we want nothing—but to drink.
Success to South America,
MISCELLANEOUS. 79
Send the bowl round merrily.
Laughing, singing, drinking ;
Toast it, toast it cheerily—
Here's to the devil with thinking !
Oh ! for the round of pleasure,
With sweetly smiling lasses,
Glasses o'erflowing their measure,
With hearts as full as our glasses.
Sincerity in patriotism.
Send round the bowl, and be happy awhile,
May we never meet worse in our pilgrimage here
Than the tear that enjoyment can gild with a smile,
And the smile that compassion can turn to a tear.
Sprightliness in youth, stability in manhood, and
serenity in old age.
- Success to our hopes, and disappointment to our
fears.
Soldiers, sailors, and all jolly fellows.
Success to the lover and joy to the beloved.
Sudden death to the bugs ; and when the fleas go out
skating may they fall into the river Po.
The glowing social pipe.
The fair of Britain's Isle.
The silver-mouthed hounds and the mellow-toned
horns.
The girl that is witty,
The girl that is pretty,
The girl with an eye as black as a sloe:
Here's to girls of each station.
Throughout Britain's nation,
And, in particular, one that I know.
The tear that bedews sensibility's shrine.
That—without which we should never have had phi-
losophers, poets, or kings.
The impartial administration of justice tempered
with the attribute of heaven—mercy.
The white rose of honor that flowers without a stain.
80 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The dimpled cheek.
The industrious peasantry of the united kingdom.
The wind that blows
The ship that goes
And the lass that loves a sailor.
The rose of honor, whose fair leaf never dies.
The maiden, whose charms cannot cloy.
Though drums may beat and trumpets blow
May every man of war defy the foe
The tars of Old England : may they well tar their
enemies, and get well feathered themselves.
The anniversary of St. Andrew's day, and all its
convivial meetings.
The anniversary of St. Patrick's day; and may the
Shamrock be green for ever.
The Shamrock, the green immortal shamronk—
Chosen leaf
Of bard and chief
Old Erin's native shamrock.
The docks and yards that man the navy.
The spring of love and the fountain of enjoyment.
The pleasure of pleasing.
The woman we love and the friend we dare trust.
The hand that bestows and the heart that glows.
The army, the navy, and its brave heroes.
The fair of Britain and British fairs.
The Lowland fair and the Highland lasses.
The four comforts of life—love, liberty, health, and
content.
The sweets of sensibility without the bitters.
The inside of a house and the outside of a prison.
The king of England and all his subjects.
The memory of Alfred : and may every man in power
while he admires his actions learn to imitate them.
The duke of Argyle ; and the Campbell clan.
The death of ingratitude and resurrection of friend-
ship.
The friends of religious toleration; whether they are
within or without the establishment.
MISCELLANEOUS. 81
The cheats of London punished with their own poi-
son.
The stage, free from immorality; and may theatri-
cals ever flourish.
The lads of the land of Shillelagh.
The hand that gives, and the heart that forgives.
The sweets of sensibility without the bitters.
The child that obeys, and the parent that forgives.
The charity that does not always begin at home-
The parson who practises what he professes.
The hand that bestows,
And the heart that glows.
The Scotchman's proverb: Get a good price, but
give good measure.
The king of England ; and all his subjects.
The golden rule : may we always do to others as we
should wish them to do to us.
The Roast Beef of old England.
The free press.
The independence of Mexico.
The sweet swan of Avon.
The king; and the Scotch union.
The banners of Scotland.
The Highland fling : and may they cast care away.
The nobles of Caledonia and their ladies.
The Tartan plaid.
The man that bleeds for his country.
The plough ; and the good honest farmer.
The army and navy and those they protect.
The liberty of the people.
The rich enjoyment of an unsullied conscience.
The bridge that bears us safely over.
The press unshackled,
The constitution of Great Britain ; and confusion to
those who dislike it.
To every weary traveller; and may each soon find a
resting place.
To all far away at sea.
I Temperance encouraged, dissipation subdued.
G
82 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Take the cup, boys, take the cup,
And let the liquor briskly flow ;
And every soul
Shall dram the bowl,
A toast before we go
Huzza for old England, O!
Let us care for no man,
If no man care for us :
Let us be happy while we can,
And neither fret, or bother, or fuss,
Like the woful man of the land of Uz.
The pretty girl under the rose.
The man that feels for sorrows not his own.
The sentiment that comes from one heart and makes
its way to another.
The man that loves his king and nation,
And shuns each vile association—
That trusts his honest deeds in the light,
Nor meets in dark cabals at night.
The girls we've left behind us.
The lads of the land of Shillelagh.
The hand that gives, and the heart that forgives.
The charity that does not always begin at home.
The parson who practises what he professes.
The circle of our female acquaintance.
The fair of Middlesex.
The wind that blows,
The mill that goes,
And the lass that loves a miller.
That steadiness and evenness of temper wherein the
sweet and pleasant mix with the genteel and manly.
To the memory of those who have fought and bled
for Great Britain.
To the memory of Wolfe.
To the memory of Hoche.
To the memory of Porlier.
To the memory of Robert Bruce.
MISCELLANEOUS. 83
To the memory of Scottish heroines.
To the memory of Riego.
To the memory of Wallace, Hampden, Russell, Syd-
ney, and their adherents.
To me memory of Scotland's heroes.
To the memory of those who have gloriously fallen
in the noble struggle for independence.
To ladies' eyes a round, boys,
We can't refuse, we can't refuse,
Tho' bright eyes so abound, boys,
'Tis hard to chuse, 'tis hard to chuse.
For thick as stars that lighten
Yon airy bowers, yon airy bowers,
The countless eyes that brighten
This earth of ours, this earth of ours.
Then fill the cup—where'er, boys,
Our choice may fall, our choice may fall;
We're sure to find love there, boys,
So drink them all! so drink them all!
The heart that glows for other's good and weeps for
other's woe.
The pilot that weathered the storm.
The sea, the open sea, where the pebbles swim on
the top.
The heart that fills as the bottle empties.
The universal rights of man.
The eye that beams with love.
The three blessings of this life—health, wealth, and
a good conscience.
The lass who avoids coquetry.
The spot of all spots that owns no one's controlling—
The isle around which the green waves are rolling.
The way to a christening.
To music's magic spell.
The budding virtues of the princess Victoria: may
they afford a rich harvest to the country.
The down-bed of beauty that upraises man.
'
84 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The tree that blows every month, bears every nine
months, and is always in season.
The mouth that can keep a secret.
The pleasure we delight in.
The beast with two backs.
The pulpit that Adam preached in.
The independent member who with upright discri-
mination steers a middle course.
The midshipmen of Navarino ; and may we always
thrash our enemies as they did.
To the memory of' the black prince.
To the memory of Wren, Angelo, Jones, Vitruvius,
and other noble artists and architects.
To the memory of Sir John Moore, and those who
fell with him at Corunna.
To the memory of Sir Ralph Abercrombie.
To the memory of the hero of Trafalgar.
Truth and honest love.
To plunge in care let lovers whine,
Such fools, who will be, may ;
Let us with glass in hand combine
To drive pale care away.
The patriarch of Anglers: Isaac Walton.
The father of experimental philosophers : Sir Hum-
phrey Davey.
The father of English poetry : Geoffrey Chaucer.
The founder of poetical romance : Luigi Pulci.
The patron of letters : Lorenzo di Medici.
The prince of colourists : Titian.
The father of modern philosophy: Roger Bacon.
The father of Italian poetry : Dante.
The poet of love : Petrarch.
The father of Italian prose : Boccaccio.
The first modern reformer : John Wickliffe.
The discoverer of the new world : Columbus.
The father of engraving: Albert Durer.
The first English printer : William Caxton.
The first foreign printer : Guttenburg.
The prince of poetical romance writers: Ariosto.
MISCELLANEOUS. 85
The love that is sincere—the friendship that is con-
stant.
The prince of novelists : the inimitable Cervantes.
The prince of Spanish poets : Lopez de Vega.
The prince of portrait painters: Vandyke.
The father of French tragedy : Corneille.
The prince of dramatic musicians : Mozart.
The Milton of music : Handel.
The English Anacreon: Robert Herrick.
The prince of landscape painters : Claude Lorraine.
The prince of painters : Raphael.
The father of modern prose humour : Rabelais.
The father of modern essayists : Montaigne.
The father of biography: Plutarch.
The prince of Portuguese poets : Camoens.
The prince of Italian composers : Paiesello.
The prince of tragic actors : Edmund Kean.
The prince of Dramatists : Shakspeare.
The founder of dramatic costume and philosopher of
players : John Kemble.
The Shakspeare of Novelists: Sir Walter Scott.
The prince of modern comedy : Charles Matthews.
The inventor of the stage : Thespis.
The father of tragedy : Eschylus.
The father of history : Herodotus.
The prince of sculptors : Phidias.
The great founder of practical philosophy : Socrates.
The father of comedy: Eupolis.
The prince of ancient painters : Apelles.
The founder of elegant comedy : Menander.
The prince of orators : Demosthenes.
The father of mechanics : Archimedes.
The prince of pastoral poets: Theocritus.
The father of Latin comedy : Plautus.
The father of Pennsylvania : W. Penn.
The prince of modern critics : Pierre Bayle.
The father of modern harmony : Corelli.
The inventor of modern satirical painting : Hogarth,
The modern Hogarth : George Cruikshank.
The father of modern natural history : Linnaeus.
86 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The reformer of the stage : Garrick.
The prince of navigators : Captain James Cook.
The immortal memory of our modern Milton: the
illustrious Byron.
The prince of Italian dramatists: Alfieri.
The prince of poetical satirists : Samuel Butler.
The poet of the ladies : Thomas Moore.
The poet of chivalry : Sir Walter Scott.
The father of French comedy : Moliere.
The improver of modern philosophy: Sir Isaac
Newton.
The great Lord Bacon.
The most learned wit of England : John Selden.
The British Parliament; and its wise senators.
The encouragers of arts and sciences.
The memory of Lord Howe; and the glorious first of
June.
The honest reformers of our laws and religion.
The noble heart that dies for his country and king.
The brave, the honorable, and the free.
The rose, shamrock, and thistle: and may they ne-
ver be disunited.
The resistance of oppression, and the security of the
free-born Briton.
The bond of friendship and of love.
The glorious land we live in.
The favoured isle of Britain.
The charm of bashfulness.
The magic of the grape.
When we enter the door may we never find the house
too hot to hold us.
Wise clients and honest lawyers.
When we've sown our wild oats may we reap a full
harvest of peace and enjoyment, unalloyed by the
tares of remorse.
When we say farewell to the world may it be without
the fear of entering another.
When truth and virtue both entwine,
May heaven make their state divine.
MISCELLANEOUS. 87
We'll toast our own pleasures old England's cheer
The protits and comforts of stout British beer.
Your glasses, come, fill up, and rise to my toast,
The girl that, approves if you press her :
The true loving wife is an Englishman's toast,
Here's her health, and we'll ever caress her,
God bless her! god bless her !
When grief assails the heart may hope relieve its
care.
When we quit our present berth may it be for one
which can neither be bought or sold.
While peace and plenty are found at our hoard,
With a heart free from sickness and sorrow,
May we share with our friends what to-day will
afford,
And let them spread the table tomorrow.
Wives, children and friends.
88
Miscellaneous.
PART II.
The three As : abundance, abstinence & annihilation.
Abundance to the poor.
Abstinence to the intemperate.
Annihilation to the wicked.
The three Bs: bachelors, banns, and bunns.
Bachelors for the maidens.
Banns for the bachelors.
Bunns after the consummation of the banns.
The three Cs.
Cheerfulness, content, and competency.
Cheerfulness in our cups.
Content in our minds.
Competency in our pockets.
The three Fs : firmness, freedom, and fortitude.
Firmness in the senate.
Freedom on land.
Fortitude on the waves.
The three Fs: friendship, feeling, and fidelity.
Friendship without interest.
Feeling to our enemies.
Fidelity to our friends
The three Fs: fat, fair, and forty.
MISCELLANEOUS. 89
The three generals in peace.
General peace.
General plenty.
General satisfaction.
The three generals in power.
General employment.
General industry.
General comfort.
The three Hs : health, honor and happiness.
Health to all the world.
Honor to those who seek for it.
Happiness in our homes.
The three Ls : love, life, and liberty.
Love pure.
Life long.
Liberty boundless.
The three Ls : love, loyalty and length of days.
The three Ms : mirth, music and moderation.
Mirth at every board.
Music in all instruments.
Moderation in our desires.
The three Ms : modesty, moderation, and mutuality.
Modesty in our discourses.
Moderation in our wishes.
Mutuality in our affections.
The three golden balls of civilization : industry, com-
merce, and wealth.
The twelve Ws: Sir Watkin William Wynn's
wife's water-works were well washed with white
wine.
The three companions of beauty : modesty, love and
constancy.
90 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The three blessings of this life : health, wealth, an.
a good conscience.
The four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and
a contented mind.
The three spirits that have no souls: brandy, rum,
and gin.
As exercise awaits us all day may felicity feast us
all night.
A bottle of wine : the protector of life and preserver
of health.
A cheerful glass, a pretty lass,
A friend sincere and true,
Blooming health, good store of wealth,
Attend on me and you.
All our draughts honoured with prompt payment.
A curse upon all unbelievers.
Anacreon : the poet of love and wine.
All rogues their deserts.
All friends round St. Paul's.
A long life without faging.
A toast to our friend, our country and king,
To those bright smiling eyes that surround us;
With our cheers to the fair let the whole welkin ring,
And let mirth, wit and beauty be round us.
A pious divine, a skilful physician, and an honest
lawyer.
A roll of pork in the cupboard, and two stones to
keep the cats out.
At glorious sport may we never lag.
A health to every bright-eyed maiden.
A toast to lovely beauty's power,
May they ever live unfading,
In our hearts a blooming flower.
All jolly fellows who are fond of moistening their
clay.
MISCELLANEOUS. 91
As we play our parts in the theatre of life may we
drink much to make us act better.
A health to our sweethearts, our friends, and our
wives.
May fortune shine on them the rest of their lives.
A coatful of broken bones, a high hanging and a
windy day to every villain.
All jocund souls and flowing bowls.
Bacchus' blisses and Venus' kisses : may they ever
be bachelors' fare.
Bacchus' and Venus' joys.
Bacchus : Wine's first projector,
And mankind's protector,
Black and white.
Barley rigs : may we experience a few of Burns'
happy nights among them.
Brotherly love: may it join every body together in
its bonds.
Beauty's power and woman's love.
Beauty's power and the present hour,
Love's bower and affection's dower.
Come, fill up your glasses, and let the toast be,
Philanthropy, concord, and sweet harmony ;
And may all our efforts to aid England's poor,
The support of the feeling for ever insure.
Captain Broke ; and may the fate of the Chesapeake
ever humble the pride of the Yankee.
Come, fill the bowl each jolly soul,
Let Bacchus gild our revels ;
Join cup to lip with " hip, hip, hip,"
And throttle the blue devils.
Come, fill a bumper, fill it round,
May mirth and wine and wit abound
In them alone true wisdom lies,
For to be merry is to be wise.
92 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Daniel O'Connel, Esq.: the determined enemy of
all corruption ; the noble champion of his much
injured country ; and the defender and asserter of
the rights and liberties of Great Britain and Ire-
land.
Dull care drowned in sparkling wine.
Drinking : and no thinking.
Death to the blue devils.
Death to our enemies.
English bravery ; English virtue ; English honor and
English valor.
English oak and British valor.
Every thing under the rose.
English virtue and honor : may they ever predomi-
nate over French libertinism and irreligion.
English roast beef; and may it always be a la mode.
England: the queen of the isles and the queen of the
main,
May liberty there to eternity reign.
Erin : the land of the fair and the bold.
Erin's friend : may his name live for ever.
Erin, the land of potatoes : may it never lack butter
milk.
English beef, Scotch kale, and Irish Potatoes: may
we never be without them.
Fair game without any jostling.
Fancy, frolic, and feeling to every fair female.
Feminine grace, feminine goodness, and feminine
generosity : may they exist for ever.
Freedom : the true enjoyment of life.
Freedom's fire : may it never decay.
Facing, stopping, fibbing, dropping.
Freedom and liberty : may they ever be our watch-
word.
Freedom's laurel: may it be ever green.
Firm to our king but resolved to be free.
MISCELLANEOUS. 93
Great Britain : may its naval and military power
exist for ever.
Great Britain: may its thunder
Ever he the world's wonder.
Good sovereigns, generous dispositions, and sound
hearts.
Greece; and the memory of Byron.
Honest members in the Commons' House ; dishonest
members in the Poor House.
Heaven gave the grape for health: may man never
put poison in the cup.
Happiness to our friends, reformation to our enemies.
. Here's to the plant the maidens love to span,
That grows between the stones upon the Isle of
Man.
Health to all companions of our social hours.
Health, joy, and mutual love.
Here's to me mast that never bends in a rough sea.
However rough the roads of life may we jog merrily
on to the end of our journey.
Here's to the friends who ne'er may meet us
Fondly seen in memory's glow,
May they still in friendship greet us,
Here's to those who greet us now.
Honor: may it ever be our motto.
Honor and eternal memory to those heroes who have
died to seal with their blood the proof of their
fidelity.
Here's to the flowing bowl
With ruby lustre crown'd ;
Here's to the flow of soul,
And care in goblets drown'd.
Here's to wine that yields our cares relief,
The sparkling cup that kills our grief.
94 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Here's a health to woman's lip,
The dearest, best of creatures ;
And while the nectar's sweets we sip,
Let's bless their lovely features.
Irish shillelaghs : may they never break the head of
a friend.
In British soil may we plant the tree
Of universal liberty.
Invincibility in love and war.
Irish hospitality and bravery.
Irish generosity, warmth of heart, and kind feeling.
Irish whiskey : the genuine mountain dew.
Irish heroes; and the apprentices of Londonderry.
Irish hearts and English hearts : may they ever beat
in unison together.
Ireland's immortal shamrock: may it be green for
ever.
Ireland : may it never be divided from England but
by St. George's channel.
Ireland's bard: Tom Moore.
Ireland's harp : may its chords never be broken.
In age may the tear of bitter regret never blot the
page of youth as we look backward through the
book of life.
King William the fourth : the monarch of a free and
happy people.
King William the fourth and Queen Adelaide toge-
ther : may they never be divided.
King William and his Queen, with ourselves free,
Long live us all with three times three.
Kate in a bumper wherever she goes.
Lord Brougham : the able and unflinching advocate
of popular rights.
Law without injustice.
Love at liberty, and liberty in love.
MISCELLANEOUS. 95
Love : may it never make a wise man play the fool.
Love without deceit and matrimony without regret.
Love's garlands : may they ever entwine the brows
of every true-hearted lover.
Love's fountain.
Light hearts and heavy pockets to the sons of gene-
rosity.
Love's cask : may it never remain untapped.
Life to the man that has courage to lose it,
And wealth to him who has spirit to use it.
Lovely woman: man's best and dearest gift of life.
Life's three blessings : wife child and friend.
Life's flower: may we in order to make it fresh
moisten it well.
May those who pity the poor never be poverty struck.
May the enemies of Greece be smothered in fat.
May those who make long speeches to injure their
country, be seized with the cramp in their tongue.
May every good and careful wife
Be free from jealousy and strife.
May the man who loses one eye in defending his
country, see the rogue who would cheat him hang-
ed with the other.
May envy sink as merit ascends.
May we be supported by honor and honesty, led by
wisdom, and urged by genuine feeling.
May liberality never stumble on ingratitude.
May vice never be suffered to visit the cottage of in-
nocence.
May he who would plant a thorn in the bosom of in-
nocence, die in a bed of nettles.
May we never want a good sovereign.
May we enjoy life in London without entering into
its follies.
May pleasure never lead us into excess.
May the mask of friendship fall from the counte-
nance of deceit.
96 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our greatest enjoyment be in doing good.
May our coal-merchant never turn stationer, and
supply us with slates.
May our journey through life be a volume of plea-
sure, and the "book well bound at last.
May friendship, life's meridian light,
Beam around our board each night,
Kindle every genial soul,
And hallow every flowing bowl.
May he be cursed, who pickles sprats and sells them
for anchovies.
May we never want bread to make a toast.
May the British oak always spread abroad her
mighty arms to guard the brave and free.
May the ships of England always bear bright har-
vests home of wealth and fame.
May British hearts of oak defend and shield their
friends.
May love never make a slave of the blameless and
faithful heart.
May withering age never dry the tear of love and
joy.
May the world and its measures in all things be just,
May our friend in all weathers be true to his trust.
May the mind never be the closet where craft and
fraud meet.
May men never put poison in the cup which heaven
gave for health.
May joy and pleasure be found wherever the glass
circulates.
May we oft feel the pleasure and taste the delight.
When soft love and music together unite.
May no breast give birth to the vice of deception.
May no man ever lose his just value for true self-res-
pect.
May the heart never be the depot of secret deceit.
May peace, plenty, prosperity and happiness bless
all nations, people and kingdoms.
MISCELLANEOUS. 97
May wine give the lover vigour,
Make glow the cheeks of beauty;
Make poets write and soldiers fight,
And friendship do its duty.
May every honest tailor be as sharp as a needle, not
be addicted to botching, nor ever sheer off when
censured.
May no honest tailor ever be in want of a " bare
bodkin."
May the wrongs of Poland be avenged on her des-
troyer.
May the death of the Russian autocrat be that of one
of his predecessors (Catharine.)
May we never eat like asses, nor drink like fishes
[live upon herbs—drink nothing but water.]
May we spend our time pleasantly upon the open sea.
May the man who does not love his native country
neither live, die, nor be buried in it.
May we to the maids we please
Be always ready, stand at ease.
Resign our arms, quit war's alarms,
And dwell in love and joy and peace.
May we never be like flatterers —fawning and cring-
ing, methodizing, whining and canting.
May we always soar on the wing of learning to the
bright sky of fame.
May the cup of joy go gaily round
Among a band of brothers,
Where friendship, love and truth abound,
And we share the bliss of others.
May we never have a treacherous guest for a lodger.
May the jolly fox-hunter never want freedom of soul
nor liberality of heart.
May we always be possessed of power and wealth,
and beauty and health.
May wine be the destroyer of every vice and the
nurse of every virtue.
May we always stand at ease. H
98 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the merchants of Britain traffic in every thing
but blood.
May we always be prepared for a world of pure
spirits.
May birth and parentage fall before the ennobling
smile of beauty.
May we never experience the miseries of bad fare,
bad beds, and gross imposition.
May ability for doing good be equalled by inclina-
tion.
May we be rich in friends rather than in money.
May time always enable us to cope with sorrow.
May gaiety and bravery always enable us to cope
with sorrow.
May gaiety and bravery always go hand-in-hand.
May woman's voice never be like that of the mer-
maid—a prelude to wreck and dismay.
May dimpled innocence and captivating modesty al-
ways adorn the fair.
May they whose wives axe rather loud at home, al-
ways fly for refuge to that spot where they can
at once find and enjoy the greatest blessings of life
— good company and retirement.
May the foaming horn, the brimming goblet, and
the blood-red wine beguile us of our cares.
May the shrine of love and friendship be for ever
hallowed.
May the fiery road of adversity lead to scenes of
bliss.
May poverty never stare us in the face without pre-
senting hope as her successor.
May we never have cause to put on mourning.
May we shine in beauty, science and arts.
May every smooth face proclaim a smoother heart.
May the enemies of Great Britain always have long
corns and short shoes.
May there always be a bar between us and the fair
sex.
May no man's nob be popped into Chancery.
May the world ever taste the blessings of peace.
MISCELLANEOUS. 99
May the sons of the Tweed, the Thames and the
Shannon
Drub the foe who dares plant on our confines a can-
non.
And may the rose, leek and thistle, long flourish
and twine,
United and happy at loyalty's shrine.
May good humour always pass
Where circulates the cheerful glass.
May our fortune bud and bloom through life, un-
blighted by the mildew of care and poverty.
May the steed of a true sportsman never break down.
May envy never obtrude on the raptures of love.
May care never embitter our pleasures.
May constancy always be the attendant of love.
May we always gain fresh vigor from the joys of the
chace.
May we always be able to drown the smart of love
and corroding care in a bumper of wine.
Modesty : beauty's best companion.
May we with calm bosoms unconscious of wrong,
All vile miscreants run down who on innocence
prey;
Nor lose sight of virtue in sports or in song,
That our hearts may rejoice at the close of the day.
May we always have a good connexion, and of long
standing.
May the heart be blest that overflows with charity.
May mirth always he flowing
While the vine's growing.
May joy and pleasure follow the cares of love.
May the sportsman's day be spent in pleasure, and
his night be devoid of care.
May reason rule the world and beauty hold the scep-
tre.
May no placeman ever grow fat, rich, and saucy, by
the plunder of his native country.
100 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the pen of love write the glorious records of the
brave.
May those who disdain the joys of their native land
find a grave in a foreign one.
May reason and truth gain freedom for all mankind.
May Britons each other befriend,
For unity's England's best hope ;
And may every monopolist's end
Be joined to the end of a rope.
May mirth and joy crown all our hours.
May British ships bear Britannia's thunder over the
world.
May the forelock of time be seized by mirth, and
may pleasure drown him in the bowl.
May no faction or falsehood ever profane our friend-
ship.
May envy never embitter nor divide friendship.
May we have a snug cottage just by the road side,
And a snug little chaise and a pony to ride;
May we have a snug garden, and at the far end
A snug little arbor to sit with a friend :
There to crack a snug bottle and drive away care,
And drink to the health of the lovely and fair.
May care shake off his millstone when he sees Dr.
Bottle.
May avarice never shrivel up the benevolent chords
of the heart.
May our spirits ever float on the glorious Red Sea
that eternally flows from the bottle.
May we always be able to pay a bill at sight.
May men be joined together by brotherly love.
May the souls of jolly fellows always agree in senti-
ment.
May love and wit inspire us and friendship guard the
board.
May every lodge stand on the basis of rectitude.
May every jocund soul partake of the feast of plea-
sure.
MISCELLANEOUS. 101
May we ever drink deep of the true British bowl,
That is punch, the true liquor of man ;
May we ever with that wash each care from the soul,
And all make of life what we can.
May we, as o'er our heads old time steals away,
Have our pleasures renew'd for each coming day,
Content with the world, despising all pride,
May we ever sit down at our own fireside.
May the bard be blest with his bottle and friend.
May we never die without that for which we were
born.
May care be banish'd from our board,
Momus attend it mirthful too,
May humour ope her merry hoard,
And wit be there with all his crew.
May every succeeding night
Like this pass away,
In friendship pure and harmony,
And joy without allay.
May nothing e'er tempt us our freedom to barter,
Or a tittle abate of an Englishman's charter.
May the seat of " the most noble grand" be sur-
rounded with love, friendship, and power — that
cannot be touched by envy nor altered by time.
May odd fellows always have virtue at heart.
May pale calumny never philanthrophy stain
Nor baleful assertions give rectitude pain.
May we never take shadow for substance.
May love, affection, virtue and friendship exalt our
children to perfection.
May hope be our steady sheet-anchor,
And temperate prudence our guide ;
May misfortune ne'er give us the canker
But discretion o'er our actions preside.
May benevolence spring from the bottle.
102 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May we ever soar superior to our misfortunes, and
never be soul-enslaved.
May our fund never be a sinking one, but may its
stock rise from an exhaustless supply.
May mirth always be our guest, joy attend all our
meetings, and Bacchus bring up the rear.
May every deserving actor draw immense draughts
on public applause.
May we puff away in clouds dull sorrow
And defy the hurricane of grief to-morrow.
May each scene of our lives be harmonious and fair,
May fortune with us all her benefits share ;
May we live and die singing shall e'er be our prayer,
So we'll drink to the pleasure of pleasing.
May the sons of Anacreon ever entwine
The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine.
Our noble and patriotic king ; and may he, fearless
of the falsehoods and misrepresentations of his
enemies, continue in his present career of reform-
ing all abuse in church and state ; and long conti-
nue to live in the hearts of an affectionate, grateful,
united, and happy people.
Our fair and honourable countrywomen: the pride
and glory of our sea-girt isles.
Our wives : when they empty the bottle may they
never be out of spirits.
Our heads cool, our feet warm,
And a glass of good liquor to do us no harm.
Our own noble selves : may we live honestly and
virtuously, and die happily.
Our native land: may we live and die in it.
Our native land: may we never lawfully be sent out
of it.
Our native land, freedom and fame.
Our awl in all.
Our honest friend—a good sovereign.
MISCELLANEOUS. 103
Our friend: may he in all weathers prove true to his
trust.
Our wives, children and friends.
Our king: and may we ever fight in his cause,
And hazard our lives in defence of our laws.
Old England's roast beef: may it always be the
standing dish of Britons.
Poland—heroic nation!—may her nationality never
be lost.
Poland! and may that brave heroic people gloriously
recover their independence from the iron grasp of
the cruel and ruthless tyrant of Russia.
Poland: the memory of Kosciusko, and of those who
have bled fur her liberties.
Polish hearts: may they meet with reciprocity in
English hearts.
Poland: may the miseries inflicted upon it be reta-
liated sevenfold upon the inflictor.
Patriotism: may it live eternally.
Patriotism: that patriotism which would willingly
surrender its own existence to secure the conti-
nued welfare of its native land.
Pity : may it ever sympathise with woe.
Pity's tears: may they ever flow for the sorrows of
the unfortunate.
Prosperity to our real friends.
Pleasure's feast to every jolly soul.
Russia's tyrant and every other tyrant: may they
all swing together in a hempen cord.
Roast beef: may it always ennoble our veins and en-
rich our blood.
Success to every lodge of worthy odd fellows.
Scotland: the birthplace of valour—the country of
worth.
Sound hearts; sound sovereigns ; and sound dispo-
sitions.
104 THE TOAST-MASTEK.
Sorrow's physician: wine.
Shannon's flowery hanks : may they bloom forever,
Scotland's honnie boys.
Sound corks ; full bottles ; and empty glasses.
The cause of our country : may God prosper it.
The land of the brave and fair.
The sea-girt isle : for which a Wellesley braved the
field, and a Nelson dared to die : may it never
yield to fraud or bend to tyranny.
The Cambridge button—(the Cambridge United New
Troop.)
To all the intrepid and successful advocates of purity
of election.
The British monarchy; and all those institutions
which are the best, the dearest, and exclusive
birthright of every Briton.
The people : may they ever vindicate their rights
and fulfil their duties.
The friends of the established church throughout
the kingdom.
To justice and religion true, may we ever guard our
own rights and those of our neighbours.
The female clear starcher: who gets up the linen
without clapping.
The woman that's well contrived.
The female bankrupt : who gives up her whole to
her assignees.
The female reaper : who never leaves a handful
standing.
The devil turned Don Giovanni; and may he elope
with all scolding wives.
The sea: the sleepless guardian of the world.
The bosom that never knew guile.
The right end of life : live and be jolly.
To all dear brothers of the mystic tie.
The ladies' Evangelical Magazine: may it often find
the benefit of a long article inserted.
The window we first peeped out of.
The window that Adam never passed out of
MISCELLANEOUS. 105
The town and trade of Birmingham the toy-shop of
the world: may its prosperity become as un-
bounded as its resources and industry are unlimited.
The generous gallant: that gives the horns and gilds
them afterwards.
The main mast in the chops of the channel.
The king : success—long life,
A tranquil reign and free from strife.
The bank that never stops payment.
Though our pleasures are embittered by care may
wine always temper the smart.
The clever tailor that can always stitch a button-hole
neatly.
The potent delights of sparkling ale.
The smile of woman that enlivens the heart.
To love that claims the monarch's duty,
That sooths the peasant's pain ;
That melts the haughty beauty,
And conquers her disdain.
The able musician : may he never be fingered by a
flat.
The more our wives open our mouths the more may
they hold their tongues.
The sea, the rough sea, the open sea : may our lives
be spent upon it.
The memory of that mighty master of music: Weber.
The true jolly sportsman who looks cheerful as
spring,
And thinks himself happy and great as a king.
The social hour and the transports of the bowl.
To the memory of the poet of love and wine : Ana-
creon.
To Bacchus, Vulcan, and Apollo : the first who
raised the vine ; the second who formed the spark-
ling bowl; and the third who first struck the lyre
of harmony.
The honest lawyer that refuses a good fee.
106 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The upright elector who never sells his vote.
To all volunteers of mirth.
The miraculous pitcher that holds water with the
mouth downwards.
The pleasures of the fancy.
The patriot's friend.
The hardy huntsman's hare, hound and horn.
The eye of the keen huntress : always ready and al-
ways open.
The three Cs.
The grey-headed man : whose actions have secured
the approbation of all good men.
The pope's eye.
The politician who never turns his coat.
The mouth that never leaves off sucking the bottle.
Those in place who continued to act as they profess-
ed to do when out of place.
The sprig of Shillelagh and Shamrock so green.
The country that gave St. Patrick birth.
The heart that throbs with love.
The whistle and wig.
The thatched cottage under snow hill.
The joys of a turn-up.
The belly and the back : may we take care of the
one to prevent our being too easily laid on the
other.
The healing spring of love.
The lock that only opens to its own key.
The bright tear of woman : that softens man's breast
To Venus and Bacchus united,
Of whom jolly mortals all boast,
May they to our board oft invited
Be always the general toast.
The honest farmer that speeds the plough : may he
reap a rich harvest of wealth and contentment.
The joys that flow from friendship and confidence.
The cot of content and the bosom of love.
The independence of Greece and the memory of
Byron.
MISCELLANEOUS. 105
The memory of the departed apostle of the people-
William Cobbett; and may his incomparable writ-
ings stimulate the people of England to follow the
example he set them, of the most disinterested
probity and love of his country.
The labouring man: he is the benefactor of all, and
every one ought to do all that may lay in his power
for his welfare.
The wig that has no wisdom.
The union dish : English beef, Scotch kale, and
Irish potatoe.
United with Britain may Ireland be,
One nation, one people—the brave and the free :
Then in vain shall the enemy's thunder be hurl'd,
' And St. George and St. Patrick give laws to the
world.
When beauty's in distress may she always meet with
liberal protectors.
Woman's true regard : her noblest boon to man.
Whatever tongue may ask redress,
Whatever colour tints the skin,
Whatever creed each tribe profess,
May we claim every man our kin,
And reach to all the hand's that free,
To lift them up to liberty.
Wine: true source of every pleasure.
Wine: may it soften grief and assuage sorrow.
While others shake with fear may we shake with
laughter.
When at hazard may we always play the sure game.
Where nectar brims the rosy bowl
May there be found each jovial soul,
May festive glee for ever mellow
Each jesting, jolly, hearty fellow.
Wine: the liquor that gives life ; may it never bo
death to the drinker.
108 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Wit and mirth : may they be drowned in wine.
Wine : may it be our spur as we ride over the bad
roads of life.
When we break covert may we dash fearless through
the glade.
Woman's smile and woman's tear: the one to enli-
ven—the other to soften the heart of man.
Wine : may it make the dull witty, give life to the
grave,
The coward make bold, and the valiant more brave.
When time prepares to take his flight may wit be
well-sharpened to clip his wings.
When the fiery trial awaits us may it lead to scenes
of bliss.
While we breathe in this world may we taste the
delight
That Bacchus and Venus can only impart,
And like Britons drink both by day and by night
To a brotherly friend and the girl of our heart.
While we enjoy ourselves over the bottle may we
never drive prudence out of the room.
Wine : mellowed by friendship and sweetened by
love.
Wine : true source of every pleasure,
May we never from it part,
For it is alone the treasure
That can soothe the aching heart.
109
Miscellaneous,
PART III.
An Englishman's castle—his house—may it stand for
ever.
Ale ; may it never be stale.
A glass of good English ale,
And may its recipe never fail.
Addition: may it ever be our golden rule.
After having enjoyed the spurts of Diana in the morn-
ing, may we always be rewarded with the sports of
Venus at night.
A good constitution : may it never be abused.
A good wife : may she never be ill-used.
A good purse : may it never be a curse.
A warm bath to our enemies.
Bacchus's bowl.
Beauty spots ; not carbuncles.
British beauty and British liberty.
Constancy and Love : may the one always attend
upon the other.
Corporate reform, and the abolition of tithes.
Come fill up your glasses and toast to the King,
From a bumper fresh loyalty ever will spring,
To our king, peace and glory, may heaven dispense,
And fox-hunters flourish a thousand years hence.
Cupid's red hot shot; may they never grow cold in
the service.
110 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Come fill up your glasses and join in the chaunt
For no pleasures like drinking good ale you must grant,
Then let this be our toast, while dull care we assail;
May we ne'er want a friend or a glass of good ale.
Dr. Brown's bait—a woman's purse.
Here's long life to the chief who in triumph advances,
Honored and blest be the evergreen pine;
Long may the tree in his banner that glances,
Flourish the shelter and grace of our line,
Home, love, and liberty.
Hope : may it never vary like the rainbow's hue.
Ireland : the sister of proud England, may she never
be her bonded slave.
In age may the tear of bitter regret never blot the
page of youth, as we look backward through the
book of life.
Love's sweets, may they never cloy.
Love's eye, may it never be blinded.
Love without folly.
May the union of England and Ireland be cemented
by a participation in the benefits of British laws
and British justice.
May Orange, Green, and all emblems of parties be
for the future blended in the color—"True Blue."
May honest truth always be found at the bottom of
the flask.
May we always find a spark of youthful fire beneath
the frost of age.
May we always be able to drink like a whale,
When the glass that is given is good English ale.
May the eye of innocence never be dimmed by the
tear of sorrow.
May the satirist never have a friend.
MISCELLANEOUS. 111
May we never use cutting satire to cut a friend, or if
we do may that friend cut us.
May the nimble troops of pleasure,
Seal our hours in morrice light,
Dock the day with fancy's pleasure,
Bless our dreams and crown the night.
May Britons when they do strike, strike home.
May Britons share the triumphs of freedom, and ever
contend for the rights and liberties of mankind.
May we abandon all ale and beer that is stale,
Rosa solis and damnable num.;
But may sparkling bright red ever hold up its head
Above omne quod exit in hum.
May the Irish shamrock be ever sheltered by the
British oak.
May every man be a sticker,
To his bottle, his glass, and his liquor.
May the shamrock continue to flourish and ever be
an emblem of unity, charity, friendship, and love.
May we never see a frown in a bumper of wine.
May the torch of love burn eternally.
May the heart be ever blest that flows with charity.
May the virtuous bosom be ever tranquil.
May jovial hunters in the morn
Prepare them for the chase ;
Rise at the sounding of the horn,
And health with sport embrace.
May the man that will not be merry with his lass,
his friend, and his glass, be obliged to drink small
beer, and not have a penny in his pocket to
buy it.
May the flower of affection never wither or decay.
May the slave always be pitied and protected.
May the rose of love be ever bedewed by the genial
stream of affection.
May we never look without pity, on beauty in tears
112 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May every wound be healed by a glass of good ale.
May the heart cheering glass give a zest to each kiss,
For drinking and kissing are pleasures divine,
To love and be loved is a transporting bliss.
So may Bacchus and Venus for ever combine.
May we always have a willing hand and a strong arm
for our country's cause.
May we be always ready to embrace the pleasures of
shooting.
May pleasure always be seasoned with honor.
May every husband be content with one petticoat,
and every wife with one pair of breeches.
May the blight of disunion no longer remain
The Shamrock to wither, its glories to stain;
May it flourish for ever, we heaven invoke,
Kindly sheltered and fenced by the brave British oak.
May the hand of mercy always sway the sword of
justice.
May all the contention amongst true Masons be,
Who better can work or who better agree.
May the huntsman be always ready with his horn.
May the sport of the day be always crowned with
success.
May every lawful undertaking be successful.
May vexation and care be always given to the winds.
May we never overleap the bounds of decency, nor
break down the fences of virtue.
May we all have wives that's obliging and civil.
And may all fine ladies go to the devil.
May every sportsman that worries his game be not
only stinted in his pleasures but be accursed.
May we always think of poverty in our days of af-
fluence.
May wine and good dinners make abundance of
friends, and may they always be found in the time
of adversity
MISCELLANEOUS 113
May pleasures past be always present.
May we always mingle in the friendly bowl,
The feast of reason and the flour of soul.
May the petticoat never be backward in entertaining
the breeches.
May we always be possessed of the blunt, the-----,
the rattlers, and the tattlers.
May this he our maxim wherever we're twirled,
"A fig for the cares of this whirligig world."
May the fire of love never be quenched by age nor
the changes of life.
May Britons never want power, talent, genius, worth,
or inclination to second their leaders even to death,
in any struggle in which the glory of their country
is concerned.
May the man be happy that ne'er repines,
Whatever lot his fate assigns.
May a good tool always have a good workman.
May we live and die with pleasure.
May health and pleasure always dwell, where the
stream of love flows.
May every Scotchman be well fed with crowdy-mow-
dy, lang-kail, and ranty-tauty.
May the Cork of Irish freedom float proudly on the
waves of English liberty ; and hurrah for the good
ship, as she sails into the free port of justice.
May we lose no honor, waste no wealth,
Nor with diseases wound our health.
May the cares of the merciless world ever teach us to
rise to the summit of ease.
May the skin of every detaining creditor be well
tanned till he sends a discharge for his prisoner.
May we never want drink or money.
May content never fly from the cottage of Jove.
May we ever hunt fur the bottle, while the muck-
worm hunts for his gold.
114 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Multiplication to our wives.
May we always be blinded by gold dust.
May he that will not merry be,
And take his glass in course,
Be ever obliged to drink small beer,
Without a penny in his purse.
May indiscretion never destroy nature's favourite
child.
May the knell of time never warn us to resign.
May we be in law an infant, in years a boy.
May we he old in the world, though scarcely broke
from school.
May we never drain the dregs of pleasure's bowl.
May we never be a slave to our vicious joys.
May all our hours be winged with joy.
May love and friendship always cheer and animate
the British seaman's mind.
May we always when ' we make ready,' be able to
present and fire.'
May mercy ever be the pride of the British throne.
May the goblet never leave a sting behind it.
May Joy always lead the chace, while panting Care
vainly pursues, and Sorrow lags behind.
May love and wit always inspire the toast, and friend-
ship guard the bowl.
May no man ever be block-head enough to cut an old
and tried friend.
May every British seaman's child be nursed in the
lap of fame.
May we never be pained by a late repentance.
May the voice of love never detain, when the call of
duty and of honour summons us.
May we never give trust in two things—Love or Money
—until we have paid a visit to the Parson and the
Banker.
May the God of battles bless with victory every Bri-
tish arm, and may the watchword be ever ' liberty.'
May the cord that binds the Rose, Shamrock, and
Thistle together never be severed,
MISCELLANEOUS. 115
May every actor be possessed of first rate parts, and
every actress of fine feelings,
May the prompter always be awake and alive to his
duty, and give the performer his right cue for a part
in which he may give general satisfaction.
May the Emerald Isle that grows out of the sea,
Flourish long in prosperity, happy and free.
May we never hesitate to cut when our friend shuffles.
May we never be left out of a good thing by the fair
sex.
May the swift stream of virtue sweep away the foul
mud of corruption.
May the Emerald Isle ever bloom in the midst of the
main, and only be trodden by the footsteps of
friendship.
May freedom's fire take new birth at the grave of
liberty.
May dear sugar, dear tea and dear corn,
Conspired with dear representation,
Never laugh, worth and honour to scorn,
Nor beggar the whole British nation.
May we never be the inhabitants of a land, where
the law's best fruit is crime.
May the locusts that feed on the vitals of Britain, be
whipped with the goading strings of poverty.
May hope brighten the days that are to come, and
memory gild those that have passed.
May liquor and love be our chase—women and wine
our game.
May those who discontented with their own country,
seek a home in foreign parts, never find one like
England.
May the standard of Albion be ever crowned with the
laurel of victory.
May we always thrive by ceaseless industry, and reap
gain from honest trade.
May we by commerce achieve wealth and be crowne
with fortune's choicest favours.
116 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May no Pope's bull or bully ever cow John Bull.
May brother Pat be always triumphant in love and
war.
May every Briton's head be a map of world, and
his motto be commerce and glory.
May John Bull ever be commander in chief of the
Ocean.
May an author abound in spirits—a manager in mellow
drams, and every actor at his benefit have a bumper.
May theatrical business never run dry—a manager's
draught never be dishonoured—nor the Audience be
waiters.
May we ever steadily maintain the rights of our coun-
try ; and may we never be fettered by faction.
May every Falconer sink to rest with a Dove in his
arms.
May the traitor perish who would sunder the wreath
that is formed of the Rose, the Thistle, and the
Shamrock.
May an Hawke's eye and a Wolfe's heart always be
the portion of Great Britain's Commanders.
May the trade of corruption be speedily annihilated.
May the rust of mistrust never reach the hinges of
friendship.
May the Rose always retain its sweetness ; the This-
tle its sharpness; and the Shamrock its emerald
hue.
Mirth, money, love, and glory,
A snug house, a pretty wife, and a good story.
May we never want a higher Olympus than the fes-
tive board, nor other nectar than the juice of the
grape.
May the sores of calamity be healed by the plasters
or charity.
May we always be possessed of life's best weather
gage—content.
May mercy and humanity ever be the glory of Britons.
May the Pilot of love ever be able to sing out—by
the deep-nine.
MISCELLANEOUS. 117
May every Carpenter be a neat hand at boarding.
May peace fix her residence on the four quarters of
the world; and all nations, kindred and tongues,
rank themselves among the sons of harmony.
May the Army and Navy of Great Britain ever main-
tain their superiority as hitherto, with honour to
themselves and their country.
May we be merry merry here,
May you be merry merry there,
For who can tell
Where we may dwell,
To be merry another year.
May there ever be a scarcity of bachelors—old maids
at seventeen—a speedy reverse of trade, more billet
doux and fewer bills due.
May the joys of home and whisky be gaily twisted in
the thread of life.
May fortune always be an attendant on virtue.
May the joys of imagination be strengthened by reality
May licentiousness be always curbed by the presence
of virtue.
May the brilliant beams of prosperity scatter the
dark mists of adversity.
May kindness and constancy always be the pillars of
love.
May love and whisky both,
Rejoice an honest fellow ;
May the unripe joys of life,
Love and whisky mellow.
May every bowl be wreathed with the flowers of the
mind.
May every woman have a cock-chafer for a husband.
May every good natured wife always have her bowl
well filled.
May the heat of love never be cooled by the frost of
age.
May there never be a carbuncle on love's beauty spot.
May the rose of love never be stained with dishonour.
118 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May the smiles of love cheer Irish lads so clever,
And they with whisky, drink England's king for ever.
May we always overtake rosy health in the chace,
run down dull sloth, and distance old care.
May he that loves truly, ride away gaily.
May old father Thames ever hold in his month,
The magnet to which all sorts of merchandize tend,
And the trade of all nations east, west, north, and
south,
Like the needle, point right to Gravesend.
May thorns and wild weeds never be found in the
garden of love.
May wisdom ever form the fashion.
May the plumb line and compass, the square, and
the tools,
Direct all our actions in virtue's fair rules.
May we by steady driving, and keeping the even
tenor of our way, safely reach our destination.
May we always sail under bare polls.
May the hairy covering of love's eye never be burnt
off.
May all true masons lay aside,
Ensigns of state, that feed their pride,
And be ennobled by the name they bear,
Distinguished by the badge they wear.
May unity and love be ever stamped upon the mason's
mind.
May the fire of lust never singe the moss of love's
rose.
May man always act as the brother of man.
May liberty from pole to pole,
Her sacred laws expand,
Far as the mighty waters roll,
To wash remotest land.
May Britannia's hand ever be armed with the bolts
of Jove.
MISCELLANEOUS. 119
May the ensign of loyalty float over us—the jack of
pure patriotism lead us—and may the pendant of
every British man of war serve as a cat o'nine tails
to whip our enemies with.
May every alteration he an improvement,
May the deeds never be forgot that were done at Tra-
falgar and Waterloo.
May titled boys never lord it over foreheads of snow.
May the main main brace always be well spliced.
May the shaft of love be unerring in its flight, and
may it never fail to wound.
May the cause of British liberty ever be defended by
her hearts of oak,
May the good done by a man in private be rewarded
in public.
May we never be elated by riches or depressed by
poverty.
May industry always give us wealth.
May freedom and sweet innocence,
Enlarge the mind and cheer the sense.
May love and friendship charm the soul.
May friendship rivet more firmly the chains that bind
man to man.
May our bags be always well stored with powder and
shot.
May the interests of Britain be united for ever.
May care he a stranger to every jovial soul.
May we always adhere to the dictates and obey the
counsels of reason.
May we he as ready to pardon as willing to fight.
May social mirth ever lend her aid to smooth the
wrinkled brow of care.
May charity diffuse her blessings to every corner of
the globe.
May peace for ever bless this happy band
And freedom smile throughout Great Britain's land.
May every soldier and sailor's lass be able to stand
fire
120 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our leader never bolt from the direct course.
May our tongue always have leave of absence; and
may we never find a stopper clapped upon our
muzzle.
May we sail safely into the harbour of Venus after
encountering the storms of love.
May we always be able to steer our vessel safely in
the deep sea.
May sorrow ever yield to love and peace.
May heaven descended charity ever dwell in Britain's
isle.
May we ever be able to drink and laugh and sing to-
gether,
And keep the sea, nor care for weather.
May the needle in love's compass never rust.
May no true heart ever be the prey of hopeless love.
May we ever love our duty, love a friend,
Love truth and merit to defend,
Love beauty and a spotless heart,
And love to take an honest part.
May every man's gun be always charged and never
miss fire.
May every plumber well understand the art of spout-
ing.
May we never purchase vice, nor sell virtue.
May we never stoop to lift another's pride.
May worth never be crushed, nor baseness dignified.
May we never worship brutes, though built of gold.
May our summer skies never be clouded.
May affliction never blight the blossoms of bliss.
May we never know want—for despair is the winter
of the mind.
May our hours be as pleasant as high roads on blythe
holidays.
May the majesty of day smile on industry and patient
worth.
May we never be haunted down by fate, memory, or
distress.
MISCELLANEOUS. 121
May all our engagements with the ladies be broadside
to broadside.
May true friendship always be found among the sons
of Albion.
May we never barter conscience and honor for gain.
May all rascals be knocked up and bullies knocked
down.
May the flowing bowl be the grave of sorrow and
care.
May we be content in our loves and friendly in our
cups.
May the night's pleasures never make us forget the
morning's duty.
May the ladies never be out of tune—may their mouth
piece always be sweet—and may we be always in-
strumental and never tired of the practice.
May our commerce and our wooden walls never have
the rot.
May we always have more brass in our pockets than
on our faces.
May the use of bear's grease never make us bare faced.
May the materials which compose our navy be com-
bined from the Rose, Thistle, and Shamrock.
May our enemies always be whipped with the long
pendant of Great Britain.
May every lady have a cockatoo.
May our private actions bear public inspection.
May every lodge the social virtues grace,
And wisdoms rules find there a resting place ;
May each subsist in lasting peace,
And may their happiness increase.
May England's name and England's fame, stand for
ever pure, great, and free.
May all nations rest beneath the tree of freedom
May corruption be chained,
And truth maintained.
May loyalty never be put out of countenance.
May virtue increase by oppression.
122 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May virtue be enobled.
May virtue always overcome envy.
May we always be as ready to perform as to promise.
May honor always be the reward of virtue and fidelity.
May God with ample hand,
Shower blessings on the land.
May the envy of an enemy always be an honor to the
envied.
May our desires always obey our reason.
May all our actions be devoid of ostentation.
May our country be dear, but our liberty dearer.
May virtue, not pedigree characterise nobility.
May we speak as we think and act as we speak.
May we drink good ale, good punch, good wine,
And live to the good age of ninety and nine.
May we all be drowned in the Red Sea.
May we be ever the same in prosperity and peril.
May we keep the truth at the hazard of our lives.
May truth always combine with taste and fancy, to
control, exalt, and refine the passions of man, till
they bend at virtue's shrine.
May we all love the man that can take up his glass,
And toast to his friend, and his fair blue eyed lass.
May the land that gave a Shakspeare birth, never
become the grave of the Drama.
May pure patriotism ever guard the public weal, and
extinguish the torch of discord.
May vice be conquered by the pointed dart of satire.
May every Briton be famed in war, versant in art, and
blessed with beauty's charms.
May wealth and commerce ne'er desert our shore,
Till hoary headed time himself shall be no more.
May the fancy-work of the historian be always a-kin
to truth.
May mirth, wit, and humour, dispel the clouds of
care.
MISCELLANEOUS. 123
May the sweet game that begun with creation, last to
the end of the world.
May time never weaken true love.
May Britons be ever the first to conquer and to save.
May England's Isle always be the casket of science,
commerce, learning, and art.
May love never be destroyed by knowledge.
May money never make us false, nor we make false
money.
May our fair one be as sweet as blossoms in May, and
as ripe as fruit in Autumn.
May we love the man that's frank and kind,
Who meets us when we have a mind,
And sings his song, and drinks us blind,
Such a jovial soul may we always find.
May we always find heartsease in the bower of love.
May woman's wit point every charm and brighten
every grace.
May the sight of beauty fire every vein, and warm
the coldest heart.
May we be ripe in reason, and rotten in folly.
May we never be possessed of a tongue of honey
with a heart of gall.
May the cup flow with nectar that is pressed by wo-
man's lip.
May women, who have beauty to please us,
Also have the will to ease us.
May time always improve the warmth of love and
friendship.
May our ship always cast anchor in port.
May every blacksmith forge as much as he pleases,
and always hit the right nail, on the head.
May we always have enough to be generous, too much
to be poor.
May we the lasting pleasures prove,
Of faithful friendship, faithful love.
May Hymen always smile on the Virgins first love.
124 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May a kiss ever be the seal of the heart.
May the jovial feast he exalted by mirth, and check-
ed by moderation.
May reason's dial be the regulator of mirth's moments
May we never forget decency and moderation in our
love of the glass.
May the embodyed wonders of Shakespeare's page,
Inspire new bards with emulative rage.
May good humour preside wherever the bowl circu-
lates.
May the benevolent have plenty, and the miser be
poverty struck.
May every true Briton be possessed of peace, plenty
and content.
May the industrious have protection and provision.
May our portion be the bottomless pit of pleasure.
May the King's arms be always fall, and the King's
head never empty.
May back and side go bare,
And hand and foot go cold,
So that belly has good ale enough,
Whether it be new or old.
May no publican, or public man, ever deal in half
measures.
May those who pass undaunted through the vineyard
of Bacchus, find their way to, and be rewarded in
the court of Venus.
May despair never chill the true lover's heart
May every vow remain unbroken, and our friendship
be ever true.
May the annals of Great Britain's history be unstain-
ed with crime, and unpolluted with bloody deeds.
May the mind be still brilliant, when youth and
beauty fade.
May the whole of the ladies be always pleased with
a soft intruder.
May the fond heart never be deceived by the false
smile.
MISCELLANEOUS. 125
May we ever be untainted by guilt.
May the world be our playground, and mankind our
toys.
May we with Momus and the God of wine,
Defy old care and father Time.
May intrinsic merit never be spurned by scorn and
contempt.
May every clever artist always earn the bread of fame.
May virtue always be able to conquer vice and folly.
May the scythe of time be blunted by the arrows of
love.
May frivolity never lead to fame.
May genius always beam its radiance from the stage.
May the drama's patrons always give the drama's
laws.
. May our conversation always be seasoned with the
true attic salt.
May genius and wit never be exiles from the British
Stage.
May the Stage ever form a school of morals for man-
kind.
May the drama always have the effect of reforming
the morals and improving the mind.
May every Briton leave his native land at ho-
nour's call,
To fight, to conquer, or like Wolfe to fall.
May the drama be the friend of virtue and the guide
of life.
May the world be never more ruled by fierce super-
stition.
May we all strike up a chaunt and the wine go
round galore,
And may the publican ne'er tell us, he will not
trust no more.
May the youth of Britain always walk in the paths of
virtue, honour, and truth.
May every Briton act the patriot's part.
126 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May victory spin the robe of glory for the brave, and
fame enroll his deeds.
May Grecian poets, yield to Albion's bards.
May fate always look with a propitious eye on the
child of old ocean. (Great Britain.)
May wit never raise a blush on the modest face of
beauty.
May we always wage war with tyranny, when the
oppressed are to be relieved.
May virtue ever awe folly and appal vice.
May we ne'er forget the immortal poet's line,
" To err is human—to forgive, divine."
May priestcraft never entangle us with its wily snares.
May superstition never make fools of the wise.
May priests be pious, eloquent, and just.
May honest satire scourge the headlong fool.
May religion never be treated as a trade.
May every man bow to the force of beauty.
May love and wine expand the heart.
May every Briton manfully withstand corruption.
May the baneful influence of temptation, never lead
us into the commission of foul offences.
May the glory of Britain never cease to shine.
May reason be our constant guide,
In the paths of truth may we abide.
May British soldiers fight to protect and conquer to
save.
May Venus never frown, nor Cupid prove unkind.
May the devil have his due.
May we always endeavour to add honour to the fame
of our ancestors.
May we ever preserve an equal mind.
May our appetites be obedient to reason.
May we bear and forbear.
May we always act without words.
May we die rather than live disgraced.
May we never succumb to misfortune, but oppose it
May virtue always be our guide and sheet anchor.
MISCELLANEOUS. 127
May nature join her riches to the stores of art.
May every rake review his progress, and every harlot
reform.
May serenity and joy be the ultimate portion of the
distressed and oppressed.
May love cherished by modesty never grow cold.
May we be able to support affliction with magnanim-
nity.
May we fear shame, keep our faith and maintain the
truth.
May virtue inspire strength and truth conquer.
May the honours of our nobility be without stain.
May the just man prosper in spite of envy, hatred,
and malice.
May Britons be invincible by united force.
May every Briton's hand be ever hostile to tyranny.
May we do nothing timidly or rashly.
May the love of country always prevail.
May we gain regard by good actions.
May all our actions tend to the benefit of mankind at
large.
May we suffer only to enjoy.
May the reward be always equal to the labour.
May we always be forgetful of our own convenience,
when we can benefit another.
May the man who takes (what is not his own,) be
taken, and well shaken into the bargain.
May we never be afraid to die for our country.
May our own wishes, not so much actuate us, as
those of the public.
May old England's staunch and stout defenders,
Ever make a firm stand for the good of her cause,
And while we've a king, may no rogues or pretenders,
Lay hands on our dear constitution and laws.
May the old age of darkness never again envelope us
in ignorance, sloth, superstition and chains.
May the throne and the altar never want standing
armies to back them.
May we be upright in prosperity and in peril.
128 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May every man who sojourns in a hot climate find it
an agreeable antidote against the coolness of his
friends at home.
May woman ever he the counsellor and friend, not
the mistress of man.
May Britons secure their conquests by their clemency.
May honours be the first reward of good deeds.
May we always bear in mind that we were not born
for ourselves alone.
May we always have bachelor's fare—jollity, fun, and
frivolity.
May the boat of pleasure ever have reason for its
pilot.
May we always oppose evils in their commencement.
May we always be able to defend that, which our
valour and courage has acquired.
May every Briton tight till he conquers, and die before
he yields.
May we live and be happy until death rings the
changes.
May the voice of reason dictate our pleasures, and
the hand of moderation guide our enjoyments.
May we always draw upon content for the deficiency
of fortune.
May we never fly from a good cause and never engage
in a bad one.
May our consolation in old age, be the recollection of
the good deeds of our youth.
May we always dine at the table of friendship and
drown our cares in a bumper.
May the king live long that seeks his people's love.
May the face of a Briton never be disfigured by the
frowns of avarice.
May we as citizens, be free without faction, and as
subjects, loyal without servility.
May every man be sound in heart, though his for-
tune be rotten.
May we have a child's simplicity with the strength
of a sage.
May the British Bull never be Cowed.
MISCELLANEOUS. 129
May we never require more liberty than constitutes
happiness.
May we never require more freedom than tends to
public good.
May the hand of friendship be extended freely to lift
up those who have fallen into the quagmire of mis-
fortune.
May the bosom of woman ever be the couch of plea-
sure.
May political rage never disunite friendship.
May me cord of sympathy that binds friends together,
never be snapped asunder when poverty lays his
hands on us.
May hope cheer us onward with her smiles and never
deceive us.
May they who love with constancy—never love hope-
lessly.
May we always mix wisdom with merriment.
May every clever musician be able to change his notes
for cash.
May every sailor forget all his dangers in Port, the
soldier delight in his Tent, every dandy love Spruce,
and every miller Sack.
May our wives be gentle as doves, loving as sparrows,
but not prating as parrots.
May we be bold as lions, cunning as foxes, but not
stupid as asses.
May woman's roseate lip and diamond eye,
Ever beam love, and peace, and purity.
May liberty ever find an altar in Britain, surrounded
by devoted worshippers.
May the frown of envy never obscure the fame of
the brave.
May England never he regardless of the advantages
that may arise from the cultivation of her internal
resources, and the useful arts.
May we always he possessed of those two useful ar-
ticles, a stiff pipe and a clean spitting box.
May every lady have her board in bed.
K
130 THE TOAST-MASTER.
May our hearts ever be possessed with the love of
country.
May we all other joys to the bottle confine,
And think there's no taste, like the taste of good
wine.
May the influence of female smiles ever give conquest
to the brave.
May Venus be nothing without Cupid.
May every state like ours be blest,
With liberty divine,
Where arts and sciences caressed.
A blaze of glory shine.
May every radical, before long, be able to say, that
he can't-serve-a-tory, (conservatory.)
May peace pervade old England's friends,
And plenty crown her land.
May Greece shed the tear of gratitude on the urn of
Byron, and rescued freedom consecrate his bier.
May our own poker never stir a fire that's too great for
for it.
May the heart wither, that does not burn,
When justice weeps o'er freedom's urn.
May the King and his Ministers ever be the happy
means of handing down our glorious constitution,
in church and state, to the latest posterity.
May the pen and press assist mankind,
To make a conquest of the mind.
May our poets only write to calm the passions and
improve the heart.
May every tailor, who leaves his hot goose, receive on
his return a cold duck.
May Britons ever defend with bold unflinching hand,
Their throne, their altar, and their native land.
May British soil alone produce freedom's sons.
MISCELLANEOUS. 131
May we all have what we all want.
May the fine British building that was framed by Al-
fred, and whose corner-stone is Magna Charta, last
for ever.
May old England ever be fair and free,
The native soil of truth and liberty.
May the heart of an Englishman ever be Liberty Hall.
May we never envy the rich, nor fear the great.
Now fill up your glasses, a toast to the lasses,
Before we go to snoozey,
Like men of the forum we'll tipple our jorum,
Until we all get boozey.
Nelson's motto—may he who merits it bear the palm.
Our constitutional friends—the Baron and the Sir-loin.
Our friends! our country ! and our laws !—Home !
Love! and Liberty !
One King, one faith, one law.
Our heaven below—woman.
Our glorious country—the home, the birthplace of
the free.
Our altars and our hearths ; when attacked, may we
die to preserve them.
Our morals pure, our principles upright.
Our friend, our bottle, and our lass—the first faithful,
the second always full, the last virtuous.
Paddy's employment—seven days good drinking.
Peace and prosperity to Ireland.
Pure love—may it always yield sweets without alloy.
Peace—may reflection never disturb it.
Probity—for it is better than riches.
Small talk and long sermons—may they be banished
from the festive board.
Success and health to all
The craft around this earthly ball.
132 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Success to the Emerald Isle,
Where Shillelaghs and Shamrocks abound,
May peace and prosperity smile,
O'er the laud and its natives around.
The PRESS—the "tongue" of the country; may it
never he cut out.
The Independent Press—the most important advan-
tage that a free community can enjoy.
The British lair and the British Press.
The Independent w(h)ig!
The Highland lads and Lowland lassies.
The fools bolt—may it he soon shot.
The Warwickshire lasses.
The immortal memory of Wm. Shakspeare.
The Shakspearian Clubs all over the world.
The memory of Mrs. Siddons. John Kemble, and
Edmund Kean.
The memory of Garrick, and success to the Garrick
Club.
The Bay of Biscay—when we sail in it, may it always
be with a favoring gale.
The best weathergage of life—content.
The cuckold, that blushes to wear a gilded horn.
The memory of the patriot Fox ; may his tomb ever
be the altar round which the holyday of freedom
may be kept.
The heart that throbs with love.
The true sportsman, that delights to shoot fair.
The Huntsman's pleasures—the field in the morning,
and the bottle at night.
The memory of the man who first broke the negroe's
galling chain.
The big-bellied bottle.
The ring set round with hair.
The joys that sparkle in the bowl.
The downy wings of love ; may they never be burnt
by the hot touch of desire.
The sports of Diana, the joys of Venus, and the
pleasures of Bacchus.
MISCELLANEOUS. 133
The British Anacreon, and Bard of Bacchus and
Love:—Moore.
The memory of that child of liberty : Wm. Tell.
The four B's -The English Bull, the Scotch Bull, the
Welch Bull, and the Irish Cow.
The quick spirit of a woman's eye.
The dwelling of our father's :—our mother's thatched
cottage.
The man that will not he merry,
With a mistress in a bed,
May he he buried in the churchyard,
And we put in his stead.
The wars of Venus ; may we always be ready to en-
gage in her battles.
The gently rolling tide of love—may it never cease
to flow.
The constant swain, and virtuous maid—may they at
last be united.
The health of the wives, widows, and daughters, of
the Licensed Victuallers of London, not forgetting
the Licensed Victuallers that wear petticoats.
The Pilgrim's Progress—may it never be stopped by
the Slough of Despond.
The King—may he always exercise the prerogative
with which he is invested for the peace and happi-
ness of his people.
The one thing needful—plenty of chink.
The pruning knife, that will lop of all useless branches
of the constitutional tree; the axe, that will strike
to the root of the upas of corruption.
The man that will not merry be,
With a company of jolly boys,
May he he plagued with a scolding wife,
To confound with him her noise.
The true British Bull—may he always be lord of the
field.
The sons of the flask—long life to them.
The British Press—may it ever remain unshackled.
134 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The young cock boat, that ventures for the first time
on the open sea.
The key of knowledge—may it open the casket of
good, not evil.
The upright elector, who always votes one way.
The interest of our king and country—may they ever
be inseparable.
To liberals, patriots, sages, and all,
Who would tyrants controul, and the world disen-
thrall.
The ladies' bank—may we always be able to keep
something deposited in it, and pay good interest.
The heart that throbs with love.
The double ball cock, that every plumber uses for
ladies' cisterns.
The ladies and a good opportunity for a unity with
them.
The purity of love's fountain—may nothing sully it.
The nose and the eye—may the former always be de-
lighted with smelling the latter.
The single united, and the united happy.
The united clubs, but no club-law.
The cask of love, may it never run out.
The careful wife, may she never know Care.
The feather of Venus's dove—may it only be found by
true affection.
The heart of a friend, may it never be worn by care.
The female volunteer who will stand to the gun.
Teasing made easy.
The " Ode on the Passions;" may it never be odious
when recited before a female.
The Scotch bagpipe—but not the Scotch fiddle.
The something—for which we are always wishing.
The consenting maid, and the man that is not bashful.
The king—the mainstay of the Navy.
The king—our country's sheet anchor.
The rigs of knuckle down fair.
The cock-pen—may we never rue entering it.
The regular thing and no mistake.
MISCELLANEOUS. 135
The unerring shaft of love; may it never fail to
wound.
The thunder of Britain ; may it shake the world.
The keg of love; may every female drain it at a
draught.
The kiddy's cabinet.
The sons of Neptune, may they stick like pitch to
their duty.
The Hare well dressed, after it has been well hunted.
The cock that crows only on his own dunghill.
The waterman's fair, and no striking.
Those liberties which were gained, and secured to us
by the best blood of our ancestors.
The constitution of our country, free and unimpaired.
The loyal adherents of the king and the true friends
' of the people.
The equilibrium of the state ; may it always be pre-
served,
The satisfaction of never having abused confidence ;
never compromised our friends' interests, and never
having gone from our word.
The true principles of English liberty, may they take
root and flourish to the end of time.
The Clergy of the United Kingdom, who have always
supported the good cause, may they ever continue
to do so.
The national institutions of our country—may they
ever prosper.
The conservative feeling which we all ought to enter-
tain for the ladies.
The ladies' conservatory—may it always have a rare
plant in it.
Truth for England and justice for Ireland.
Treachery in friendship; may it be punished with
death.
The flag of England—may it ever brave the battle and
the breeze.
The bar, the pulpit, and the stage.
The union of faith, hope, and charity.
To the force of beauty may we all bow.
136 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Though all the world combine against us, may we al-
ways prove true to each other.
The cock and bottle ; may the one always crow, and
the other be well corked.
The health of the daring highwayman—Me Adam.
The joys that prolong the hours of life—hunting
love, and wine.
To every statesman, who's of honest heart,
And boldly takes his country's part.
The birthplace of wit and the home of hospitality—
Ireland.
The land o' the leal.
The first champion of commercial liberty—De Foe.
True pleasure, may it always be found at home.
That which exhilarates the heart and eases sorrow—
the wine cup.
The independent odd fellow, whose joke is always
ready.
The Irish piper—who plays the same tune night and
morning.
The bank that never stops payment.
The receptacle for discharged seamen—may it ever
flourish.
To the pulpit, the bar, and the throne.
The British Navy—the world's check string.
The heart of a sailor—may it be like heart of oak.
The bullets of love—may they always give satisfac-
tion.
Though our bold tars are fortune's sport, may they
ever be fortune's care.
The magic power of beauty—may we always bend
beneath it.
The matchless constitution of old England—the wis-
dom of her laws, and the native energy of her sons.
The living star that lights the sphere of man—woman.
The ladies !—and whenever we have any dealings with
them, may they always be ready to receive the de-
posit.
The light of love—woman.
MISCELLANEOUS. 137
The lover's waltz ; may we be always able to dance it,
and may the ball room be the temple of hymen.
The veil of modesty—may it never be lifted by the
hand of licentiousness.
The land where the heart of heroes glow—Albion.
The birthright of the brave—old England.
To Nelson's memory, here's a health,
And to his gallant tars,
And may our British Seamen bold,
Despise both wounds and scars ;
Make France and Spain,
And all the main,
And all their foes to know,
Britons reign, o'er the main,
While the stormy winds do blow.
The glow of genial friendship and the flow of social
converse—may they be inseparable at the board.
The man that values freedom dearer than his blood.
The birthplace of freedom, the land of the brave,
The hate of the tyrant, the hope of the slave—Old
England.
The Princess Victoria, and when providence, in the
course of nature, shall place her on the throne,
may her mind be found imbued with those liberal
sentiments calculated to make the nation happy.
The great Solon of his country's laws, Lord Brougham.
Unity—may it always be strength.
When the can overflows with liquor, may goodfellow
ship always prevail.
When the wife scolds, the house smokes and every.
thing goes wrong,
May we always to the bottle go and chaunt the merry
song.
Wine ;—may we like it the better the older it grows.
Wine ;—the best boon of earth to man.
138 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Woman's virtue—may it always be the care of hea-
ven.
When our spirits are out, may we take spirits in.
When we go to our own door, may we be able to enter
without rapping.
When thundering tempests make us shudder,
Or Boreas on the the surface rails,
May good discretion guide the rudder,
And providence attend the sails.
Woman—the harmony of nature.
When on board, may we never twig cuckold's point.
Whenever our friends begin to shuffle, may we al-
ways be ready to cut.
When the bosom heaves the sigh,
When the tear o'erflows the eye,
May sweet hope afford relief,
Cheer the heart and calm our grief.
What every Briton loves the most—his liberty and
native land.
What we undertake, may we persevere in to the end.
While some seek a refuge in wine,
From reflection, from folly and care;
May we health and amusement combine,
In the chase of the stag, fox, or hare.
When we are tried in the courts of love, may we al-
ways obtain a verdict.
When duty's call commands,
May we take our stand,
And take a hand,
As the common cause demands.
What we spend, may our wives save.
What is just and honorable.
When every other light is out—may British virtue
shine.
When we meet to enjoy the glass, may we act wisely
and part friendly.
I
MISCELLANEOUS. 139
TOAST :—England—Europe's glory.
There is a land amidst the waves,
Whose sons are fam'd in story,
Who never were, nor will be slaves,
Nor shrink from death and glory :—
Then strike the harp, and bid it swell,
With flowing bowls before ye,
" Here's to the land in which we dwell,
To England—Europe's glory."
Blest land, beyond all lands afar !
Encircled in the waters,—
With lion-hearted sons in war,
And beauty's peerless daughters ;
Go ye whose discontented hearts,
Disdain the joys before ye,
Go seek a home in foreign parts,
Like England—Europe's glory.
Whether in sultry climes ye rove,
A solitary stranger—
Or seek the foreign fair one's love,
Where lurk deceit and danger—
Where will ye find domestic bliss,
With social sweets before ye—
A land so great, so good as this,
As England—Europe's glory ?
Then strike the harp, &c.
TOAST :—Long live our Sailor King.
Come, raise the goblet high,
While with heart and voice we sing
And all England makes reply,
" Long live our Sailor King!"
The vessel of the state
Has a seaman at the helm,
And howe'er our foes may hate
They old England can't o'erwhelm—
140 THE TOAST-MASTER.
For while we rule the waves
We may firm and fearless sing,
" Britons never will be slaves
While they have a Sailor King!"
May we lead a life of peace
While we live beneath his sway—
Though, should enemies increase,
He'll to victory lead the way—
While the cannon's thunder roars
He'll " Rule Britannia," sing—
And the British seventy-fours
Shall protect our Sailor King!
Our blessings on the Queen
Who shares our monarch's throne,
And who gilds the courtly scene
With virtues like his own—
May their people happy be,
And each hill and valley ring—
With shouts from Britons free,
" Long live our Queen and King!
Come raise the goblet high, &c.
TOAST :—To all Friends at home or abroad.
Let others delight in the days that are fled,
And boast of the revels their forefather's led ;
Whilst of present enjoyments more wisely we'll talk,
And laugh, joke and sing, as we draw forth the cork.
" May the guests, that now glitter around this gay
board,
Be cheered throughout life with a plentiful hoard,"
And " may friendship and love be the joys that unite,
Every heart that beats warmly, with us here to night"
And now I have only to sing or to say,
" May we live to see many returns of this day,"
And, " another year gone, may we still here be found,
To renew the warm welcome, to all here around."
MISCELLANEOUS. 141
CHAPTER OF TOASTS AND SONG OF
SENTIMENTS.
Most folks give their sentiments after their song,
But I cannot say that is my tether ;
To part heart and harmony sure must be wrong,
Song and Sentiment I join together :
So at once in a Song I'll my Sentiments give,
Sure you'll all approve what I am giving—
Here's " the King," heaven bless him, and long may
he live,
With " Old England, the land that we live in."
Then here's " Lovely Woman !" each man will drinks
that,
For in each care and ill she'll relieve him ;
"Sweet home,' for though homely, 'tis home for all
that,
With " a friend and a bottle to give him."
Here's " may honor and honesty never decline,"
'Tis the wish of my heart, I assure ye ;
" May justice and mercy for ever entwine,"
With our glorious " Trial by Jury."
May the moment now present, of life be the worst,
May the honest heart ne'er know distress;
May we have in our arms what in heart we love best,
All those that bless us may we bless.
" A good trade and well paid" which ensures " peace
and plenty;"
" Honest men, pretty women" for ever!
" Play Houses full, and Work Houses empty,"
And " may worth and want finally sever."
Here's " the heart that can feel for another's distress,"
And " the man that was never ungrateful;"
Here's " may we the smiles of good humour possess,
With friends around, cheerful and faithful."
142 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Here's " our old wooden walls," that still lay our
foes flat,
With those treasures, " wives, children, & friends,"
Here's " our own noble selves," and now having
drank that,
Here my song of good Sentiment ends.
HEALTH :—The King! God bless him !
A goblet of Burgundy, fill, fill for me,
Give those who prefer it Champagne ;
But whatever the wine, it a bumper must be,
If we ne'er drink a bumper again ;—
Now when the cares of the day are thrown by,
And all man's best feelings possess him,
And the soul lights her beacon of truth in the eye,
Here's a health to the King ! God bless him.
God bless him, &c.
The wealthy of Rome, at their banquets of old,
When to those whom they honored they quaff'd,
Threw pearls of great price in their goblets of gold,
More costly to render their draught!
I boast not of gems, but my heart's in my glass,
Of its love naught can e'er dispossess him ;
Upstanding! Uncovered! round, round let it pass,
Here's a health to the King ! God bless him.
Hurrah ! Hurrah ! Hurrah ! upstanding, uncovered,
Round, round let it pass,
Here's a health to the King ! God bless him.
THE THEATRICAL TOAST.
Here's to dear Vestris' sparkling black eye,
Here's to fair Humby's, a blue one,
Here's to plump Chester's of exquisite dye,
And brighter we'd toast if we knew one.
Fill to each lass,
Let the toast pass,
I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.
MISCELLANEOUS, 143
Here's to Miss Smithson's chaste bosom of snow,
Here's to Josephine's leg which so neat is,
Here's to Malibran's lip whence rich melodies flow,
And to Love whom to hear a rich treat is.
Fill to each lass, &c.
Here's to the brilliant, the beautiful Yates,
Here's to our own Kelly—Fanny—
Here's to Kate Stephens, the sweetest of Kates,
And to Cawse who's as pretty as any.
Fill to each, &c.
Here's to the Trees who so deeply take root,
There are two, and a treasure is either ;
Here's to the gleaner of witchery—Foote,
Now a bumper—we'll toast them together.
Fill to each, &c.
TOAST :—To Wine, Women, and Wassail.
Let every man now give his toast,
Fill up the glass I'll tell you mine :
Wine is the mistress I love most;
This is my toast, now give me thine.
"Well said, my lad, ne'er let it stand,
I give you Chloe, nymph divine ;
May love and wine go hand in hand ;
This is my toast, now give me thine.
Fill up the glasses to the brink,
Hebe, let no one dare decline ;
'Twas Hebe taught me first to drink ;
This is my toast, now give me thine.
Ge'mmen, give my wife, d'ye see,
May all to make her blest combine,
So she be far enough from me ;
This is my toast, now give me thine.
144 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Let constant lovers at the feet
Of pale-fac'd wenches sigh and pine,
For me, the first kind girl I meet
Shall be my toast, now give me thine.
You toast your wife, and you your lass,
My boys, and welcome, here's the wine;
For my part, he who fills my glass
Shall be my toast, now give me thine.
(As Chairman.)
Spirits, my lads, and toast away,
I have still one with yours to join,
That you may have enough to pay;
This is my toast, now give me thine.
TOAST:—To every Maid, Wife, or Widow.
Here's to the maiden of bashful fifteen,
Likewise to the widow of fifty,
Here's to the bold and extravagant queen,
And here's to the housewife that's thrifty.
Let the toast pass,
Drink to the lass,
I'll warrant she'll prove an excuse for the glass.
Here's to the maiden whose dimples we prize,
Likewise to her that has none, sir,
Here's to the maid with a pair of black eyes,
And here is to her that's but one.
Let the toast pass, &c.
Here's to the maid with a bosom of snow,
And to her that's as brown as a berry ;
And here's to the wife with a face full of woe,
And here's to the girl that is merry.
Let the toast pass, &c.
MISCELLANEOUS 145
Let her be clumsy, or let her be slim,
Young or ancient I care not a feather,
So fill the pint bumper quite up to the brim,
And e'en let us toast them together.
Let the toast pass, &c.
TOAST :—A Girl, a Bumper, and a Friend.
An Irish lad's a jolly boy,
Full of frolic, mirth, and fun,
Wine and women all his joy,
And from a foe he'll never run.
And whether he is rich or not,
He ne'er feels discontent at all,
For when he cash in store has got,
Ne'er rests till he has spent it all.
Och so frisky—fond of whiskey,
Joy is never at an end ;
Love's his boast—and this his toast,
A Girl, a Bumper, and a Friend.
How free of care's an Irish boy,
A foe to all formality,
A social life his only joy,
His motto—Hospitality.
His monarch too he'll dearly love,
His measures, faith he'll back them all ;
And as for foes he'll quickly prove
How naitly he can whack'em all.
He'll dance and sing—God save the king,
Success the noble Crown attend ;
All cares deride no wish beside
A Girl, a Bumper, and a Friend.
In me you see an Irish lad,
Content to please, and willing, Och,
Who laughs when comfort's to be had,
And pays while he's a shilling, Och.
L
146 THE TOAST-MASTER
Then take my hand, O Fanny, love,
And make no farther pother, Och.
My heart is yours—things clearly prove
We're made for one another, Och.
We'll sing and play—no larks more gay,
Our joy shall never have an end ;
No wish beside—our fireside,
My Wife, a Bumper, and a Friend,
TOAST :—A Bumper of Wine and a Friend.
Drink away, drink away, let the wine briskly flow,
Let our pleasure and mirth know no bounds ;
In a bumper of wine we will drown all our woe,
And we'll sing till the room, boys, resounds.
With our hearts gay and light, let's defy care & strife,
And wit, humour, and harmony blend ;
For with me you'll agree that there's nought in this
life
Like a Bumper of Wine and a Friend.
Fill again, fill again, never flinch from your glass,
For 'twill ease all your sorrow and pain ;
And these moments so precious enjoy ere they pass,
As we never shall see them again.
Then let mirth and good humour reign here boys, to
night,
And to these, my good precepts attend:
Fill your glass to the brim, for our greatest delight,
Is a Bumper of Wine and a Friend.
For a toast, for a toast, charge again my brave boys,
And we'll heartily drink it with three ;
For the man who loves drinking, life's pleasures enjoys
While his thoughts are from cares ever free.
May our voices ne'er fail us to join in the chaunt,
With a spirit our rights to defend ;
Then with pleasure we'll drink, may we ne'er know
the want
Of a Bumper of Wine and a Friend.
MISCELLANEOUS. 147
TOAST :—The success and good-will to each other.
Fill, boys, and drink about,
Wine will banish sorrow ;
Come, drain the goblet out,
We'll have more to-morrow.
We live free from fear,
In harmony here,
Comhin'd just like brother and brother :
And thus be our toast,
The freebooter's boast,
Success and good-will to each other.
Fill, boys, &c.
TOAST:— May Venus's Myrtle ever be entwined with
the Vine of Bacchus.
Ye sons of Anacreon, be joined hand in hand,
Preserve unanimnity, friendship, and love,
For 'tis yours to support what's so happily plann'd,
You've the sanction of Gods and the fiat of Jove,
While thus we agree,
Our toast let it be :
" May our Club flourish happy, united, and free,
And long may the Sons of Anacreon entwine
The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine."
TOAST :—Here's a Health to all good Lasses.
Here's a health to all good lasses,
Pledge me merrily, till your glasses,
Let a bumper toast go round ;
May they live a life of pleasure,
Without mixture, without measure ;
For with them true joys are found.
118 THE TOAST-MASTER.
TOAST :—The Ladies, God bless 'em.
Oh, woman, dear woman, the charm of our life,
So beauteous they fill ev'ry scene,
That whether as lover, companion, or wife,
They're lovely, and ever have been,
And should the world's wrongs ere perplex us in mind,
'Tis then that soft feelings possess 'em ;
They're all that is lovely, so blooming and kind.
Here's a health to the ladies, God bless 'em, God
bless 'em, &c.
Come fill me a bumper of Burgundy clear,
And this, aye, let this be the toast,
Here's a health to the man who shall make it appear,
Next to life he loves women the most;
May beauty and joy sweetly smile on each face,
And ev'ry soft feeling possess 'em.
And while on this earth I have being or place,
I'll drink to the ladies, God bless 'em, God bless
'em, &c.
TOAST :--May we ne'er want a Friend, nor a Bottle
to give him.
Since the first dawn of reason that beam'd on my mind,
And taught me how favour'd by fortune my lot,
To share that good fortune I still am inclin'd,
And impart to who wanted, what I wanted not:
'Tis a maxim entitled to ev'ry one's praise,
When a man feels distress, like a man to relieve him,
And my motto, tho' simple, means more than it says,
May we ne'er want a friend, nor a bottle to give him.
The heart by deceit or ingratitude rent,
Or by poverty bow'd, tho' of evils the least,
The smile of a friend may invite to content,
And we all know content is an excellent feast.
'Tis a maxim, &c.
MISCELLANEOUS. 149
TOAST :—May we ne'er want a Friend or a glass of
good Ale.
In our passage through life (it has often been said)
We shall find thorns and roses alternately spread ;
If the thorns chance to prick us we'll never bewail,
For the wound may be healed with a glass of good ale.
If Dame Fortune, my friends, should to day prove
unkind,
She's so fickle, to-morrow she may change her mind,
If she smiles, well and good, if she frowns we'll not
rail,
May all sorrows be drowned in a glass of good ale,
When a wife is ill-temper'd she'll scold and look cross,
For in using the tongue there's but few at a loss ;
Never heed then black looks, take your glass and re-
gale,
May we ne'er see black looks in a glass of good ale.
When a wife strives to please you, as all of them can,
She's the greatest of blessings bestowed upon Man ;
In describing her worth I should certainly fail,
Then we'll toast all good wives in a glass of good ale.
If contentment and happiness you would possess,
Never flinch from relieving a friend in distress ;
If he feels the keen blast of adversity's gale,
Give him part of your purse and a glass of good ale.
It enlivens our spirits and cheers up our hearts,
It renews our lost strength and fresh vigour imparts ;
For the thrasher so sturdy, who handles the flail,
Labours merrily after a glass of good ale.
For the dram drinker's pleasure we care not a pin,
When their spirits are out, why they take spirits in ,
And while they to their coffins are adding a nail,
May we draw one out with a glass of pood ale.
150 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Fill your glasses, and merrily join in the chaunt,
For no pleasure's like drinking good ale you must
grant;
Then let this be our toast, while dull care we assail,
" May we ne'er want a friend, or a glass of good ale."
TOAST :—May this be our toast: content and good cheer,
The comforts of home, and of Herefordshire.
To Englishmen dear is the land of their birth,
For dear is the tie that our country entwineth ;
But in that wide space there's a small spot of earth,
And round every man's home a bright ray ever
shineth.
Then Herefordshire boys,
Raise loud every voice
In remembering a birth-place so beauteous, rejoice ;
And be this our toast,—Content and good cheer
Are the comforts of home and of Herefordshire.
'Tis an Eden in bloom ; —'tis an Eden in fruit,
And fair as were Eve's are its daughters' fair fea-
tures ;
If they tempt with an apple, who'd refuse their kind
suit,
For bliss only waits their temptation, dear creatures
Some sang girls of old,
Who are now dead and cold,
But a lass that's alive in my arms let me fold ;
And I'll teach her to sing, that content and good cheer,
Are the comforts of home and of Herefordshire.
We can boast of our heroes, whose hearts bold and
brave
Taught their foes to respect by a lesson to fear 'em ;
MISCELLANEOUS. 151
And no one is here to base terror a slave
We would fight as they fought; for we love and re-
vere 'cm
If our country e'er call,
We will rise one and all
For home would be lost if that country should fall ;
And our foes we will teach, that content and good
cheer
Are the comforts of home and of Herefordshire.
Hospitality's dictates still bless our dear home ;
To that should the wanderer's footsteps direct him,
There while he shall rest, though he's doomed for to
roam,
Hospitality's welcome is sure to protect him,
Then the glass mantling high
Shall check his deep sigh
While a tear of delight shall bed in his sad-eye ;
But his heart shall confess that content and good cheer
Are the comforts of home and of Herefordshire.
TOAST :—May Pain and Care be drowned in the Bowl.
The glasses sparkle on the board,
The wine is ruby bright,
The reign of pleasure is restored,
Of ease and fond delight.
The day is gone, the night's our own
Then let us feast the soul;
If any pain or care remain
Why drown it in the bowl.
This world, they say's a world of woe,
But this I do deny ;
Can sorrow from the goblet flow,
Or pain from beauty's eye :
152 THE TOAST-MASTER.
The wise are fools with all their rules.
When joys they would control;
If life's a pain, I say again,
Let's drown it in the bowl.
That time flies fast the poet sings,
Then surely it is wise
In rosy wine to dip his wings,
And seize him as he flies.
This night is ours, then strew with flowers
The moments as they roll,
If any pain or care remain,
Why drown it in the bowl.
TOAST :—Success to each Lodge of worthy Odd Fellows.
On Olympus' high hill, where Jove sat at a feast,
Merry Momus was there, full of humour and fun;
Thus bumpered the gods from the great to the least,
And the nectar flew round till 'twas Momus's turn :
" I'll give you a toast, ye celestial host."
Cried Jove then, " what is it? I prithee now tell
us,"
Momus said, with a laugh, while the nectar he
quaffed,
" Success to each Lodge of worthy Odd Fellows."
" What new sect are those, called ' Odd Fellows,' cri-
ed Jove;
" Whom you have just honoured by drinking a
toast?"
" Great sire, they are men that this court must ap-
prove,
For honour's their motto, and virtue their boast:
They are true and sincere, in their friendship so dear,
That no discord can reach them, their history tell us;
May they ever unite, free from envy and spite,
And joy crown the Lodges of all worthy Odd Fel-
lows."
MISCELLANEOUS. 153
Says Jove, " I'm well pleased to find mortals so wise,
Who friendship prefer to self-interest so mean ;
By honour thus taught all those arts to despise,
Which, with shame, on the earth I too often have
seen ;
Fly, Fame, through the sky, sound their praises or
high,
And, Truth, ever sanction the history they tell us
When time shall remove them to regions above,
We'll crown them with glory all true worthy Odd-
Fellows.
Our most Noble Grand, let us toast—in the chair,
The Vice-Grand, and Officers each, in their station :
May honour and merit be ever their care,
And their names be revered by each Lodge in the
nation;
While each loyal brother, still true to each other,
Laugh, drink, sing, and smoke, till we're all of us
mellow,
Then homeward depart, this wish in each heart,
Joy and health be the lot of each worthy Odd Fel-
low.
TOAST :—A Brotherly friend and the Girl of our heart.
To Venus and Bacchus those spirits divine,
I pledge in full bumpers libations on earth,
For friendship and love shall e'er hallow the shrine
From whence all such comforts of life owe their
birth,
Though care may embitter the pleasures of man,
'Tis wine, cheering wine, that can temper the smart;
Then quaff it ye mortals, and make it your plan
To bumper a friend and a girl of your heart.
Should envy intrude on the raptures of love,
And her poison fraught adders malignantly hiss :
Let constancy follow the faith of the dove,
And the harpies shall die through sincerity's kiss;
J54 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Then fill me a flaggon, fill, fill to the brim,
And let each good fellow with me bear a part,
For my song and sentiments made but for him
Who drinks to a friend and the girl of his heart.
To sorrow or discord I ne'er turn my mind,
What have I with the minions of trouble to do ?
With Venus's myrtle my brows are entwin'd,
And each throb of my heart e'er to friendship is
true ;
While I breathe in this world, let me taste such de-
light,
As Bacchus and Venus can only impart;
And like a true Briton, I'll drink day and night
To a brotherly friend and the girl of my heart.
TOAST :—Wine, true source of every pleasure; may it
always soothe the aching heart.
Wine, thou source of all my pleasure !
Can I from that pleasure part ?
For thou art alone the treasure
That can soothe the aching heart.
For thou art alone, &c.
Fill the bumper ; don't be thinking;
For we have no time to loose ;
The tide of pleasure it is drinking,
Why should we a glass refuse ?
The tide of pleasure, &c.
TOAST :—May wit and mirth be crowned with wine.
Let a set of sober asses
Rail against the joys of drinking
While water, tea,
And milk agree
To set cold brains a thinking.
MISCELLANEOUS. 155
Power and wealth,
Beauty, health,
Wit and mirth in wine are crowned,
Joys abound,
Pleasure's found,
Only where the glass goes round.
The ancient sects on happiness
All differed in opinion,
But wiser rules
Of modern schools
In wine fix their dominion.
Power and wealth, &c.
Wine gives the lover vigour,
Makes glow the cheeks of beauty,
Makes poets write,
And soldiers fight,
And friendship do its duty.
Power and wealth, &c.
Wine was the only Helicon,
Whence poets are long liv'd so ;
'Twas no other main
Than brisk champaign
Whence Venus was deriv'd too.
Power and wealth, &c.
When heaven in Pandora's box
All kind of ills had sent us,
In a merry mood,
A bottle of good
Was corked up to content us.
Power and wealth, &c.
All virtues wine is nurse to,
Of ev'ry vice destroyer;
Give bullards wit,
Makes just the cit,
Truth forces from the lawyer.
Power and wealth, &c.
J5G THE TOAST-MASTER.
Wine sets our joys a flowing,
Our care and sorrow drowning.
Who rails at the bowl
Is a Turk in his soul,
And a Christian ne'er should own him.
Power and wealth, &c.
TOAST : — The wind that blows, the ship that goes, and
the lass that loves a sailor.
The moon on the ocean was dimmed by a ripple,
Affording a chequered light ;
When gay jolly tars passed the word for the tipple
And the toast; for 'twas Saturday night:
Some sweetheart or wife
He loved as his life,
Each drank, and wished he could hail her
But the standing toast
That pleased the most,
Was, ' the wind that blows,
' The ship that goes,
'And the girl that loves a sailor.'
Some drank ' the King' some ' his brave ships,'
And some ' the constitution ;'
Some — ' may the French and all such rips
Yield to English resolution !'
' That Fate might bless
Some Poll or Bess ;
And that they soon might hail her ;'
But the standing toast, &c.
Some drank ' the Prince,' and some our land,
' This glorious land of freedom ;'
Some, ' that our tars may never want
Heroes brave to lead 'em :'
' That she who's in
Distress may find
Such friends as ne'er will fail her;'
But the standing toast, &c.
MISCELLANEOUS. 157
TOAST :—" May we find no deception in the goblet.
Fill the goblet again ! for I never before
Felt the glow which now gladdens my heart to its
core ;
Let us drink !—who would not ?—since, through life's
varied round,
In the goblet alone no deception is found.
I have tried in its turn all that life can supply ;
I have bask'd in the beam of a dark rolling eye ;
I have loved !—who has not ?—but what heart can de-
clare
That pleasure existed while passion was there ?
In the days of my youth, when the heart's in its
spring,
And dreams that affection can never take wing,
I had friends! who has not ?— but what tongue will
avow,
That friends, rosy wine! are so faithful as thou ?
The heart of a mistress some boy may estrange,
Friendship shifts with the sunbeam - thou never canst
change:
Thou grow'st old—who does not?—but on earth what
appears,
Whose virtues, like thine, still increase with its years ?
Yet if blest to the utmost that love can bestow,
Should a rival bow down to our idol below,
We are jealous !—who's not ?—thou hast no such
alloy;
For the more that enjoy thee, the more we enjoy,
Then the season of youth and its vanities past,
For refuge we fly to the goblet at last;
There we find—do we not ?—in the flow of the soul,
That truth, as of yore, is confined to the bow.
158 THE TOAST-MASTER.
When the box of Pandora was open'd on earth,
And Misery's triumph commenced over Mirth,
Hope was left,—was she not ?—but the goblet we kiss,
And care not for Hope, who are certain of bliss.
Long life to the grape ! for when summer is flown,
The age of our nectar shall gladden our own :
We must die—who shall not ?—May our sins be for-
given,
And Hebe shall never be idle in heaven.
TOAST :—The land we live in.
The sparkling liquor fills the glass,
And briskly round ' the board it goes;'
The toast, of course, our favourite lass,
We'll drink ' confusion to our foes.'
Then each in turn, the catch, the glee,
The song, the toast, is given ;
And ever as it comes to me,
I give ' the land we live in.'
Then let us all throughout agree,
With a loud huzza, and three times three,
Huzza I give ' the land we live in.'
The captain always gives ' the king;'
His bosom burns with loyal flame ;
And now the decks with praises ring,
Of valiant Smith and Nelson's name.
' The queen and all the family,'
This toast in turn is given ;
And ever as it comes to me,
I give ' the land we live in.'
Then let us all, &c.
Some folks may envy foreign parts,
And wish to gain a foreign shore ;
MISCELLANEOUS. 159
Why let them go with all our hearts,
We shall be plagued with them no more.
Then while on shore, let's all agree,
The song, the toast, &c.
TOAST :—To all true hearted Freemasons.
May the sacred rules of masonry instructive spread,
Till truth erect her long neglected head!
Till through deceitful night she dart her ray,
And beam full glorious in the blase of day !
Till men by virtuous maxims learn to move,
Till all the peopled world her laws approve ;
And Adam's race are bound in brother's love.
TOAST:—The King!
I'll give you a toast of the oldest,
The loyal head ne'er was the coldest,
" Our King and his Throne,
Be the glory our own,
And the last of "his days be the boldest."
TOAST :—May Britain ever rule the Main,
Come, seated round the festive board,
Where Bacchus pleasure does afford,
Fill high the sparkling glass;
And as the happy hour we pass,
Drink " to the King—success, long life,
A tranquil reign, and free from strife !"
And all with one accord exclaim,
" May Britain ever rule the main!"
160 THE TOAST-MASTER.
TOAST :—May we never be blown up like a bladder.
Away with your weeping and wailing !
This world's but an ocean of fun,
Let's all go for pleasure a-sailing,
And laugh till the voyage is done !
He's the wisest, I think, past denying,
Who daily grows gladder and gladder;
A plague upon grieving and sighing—
It blows a man up like a bladder!
What is love but a toy for the simple ?
A trifle to cheat and cajole ?
There's heavenly charms in a dimple,
But heaven itself in the bowl!
Then prate not of beauty's caressing,
Tho' soft as a strain of Apollo's,
Her lip, like the grapes, sweet in pressing,
But zounds ! where's the nectar that follows ?
He's the wisest, &c.
TOAST :—May Masonry ever flourish
May masonry for ages endure,
Through rolling years preserve its prime,
And may it ever stand secure,
And brave the rude assaults of Time.
And now we're met upon the square
May love and friendship jointly reign,
May peace and harmony be our care,
And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain.
MISCELLANEOUS. 161
TOAST :—The warrior, the poet, the statesman, and sage.
When Panurge and his fellows, as Rab'lais will tell us,
Set out on a sail to the ends of the earth,
And jollily cruizing, carousing, and boozing,
To the oracle came in a full tide of mirth.
Pray what was its answer ? come tell if you can, sir ;
'Twas an answer most splendid and sage, as I think ;
For sans any delaying, it summ'd up by saying,
The whole duty of man is one syllable—" Drink."
0 bottle mirific! advice beatific !
A response more celestial sure never was known ;
I speak for myself, I prefer it to Delphi,
Though Apollo himself on that rock fix'd his throne ;
The foplings of fashion may still talk their trash on,
And declare that the custom of toping should sink ;
A fig for such asses, I stick to my glasses,
And swear that no fashion shall stint me in drink.
And now in full measure I toast you with pleasure,
The warrior—the poet—the statesman—and sage ;
Whose benign constellation illumines the nation,
And sheds lively lustre all over the age ;
Long, long may its brightness, in glory and lightness,
Shine clear as the day-star on morning's sweet brink,
May their sway ne'er diminish! and therefore I finish,
By proposing the health of the four whom I drink.
TOAST :—Our Glass and Bowl.
There's nought sae sweet in this poor life
As knittin' soul to soul;
And what maist close may bind that knot ?
The glass and bowl!
The glass and bowl, my boys,
The glass and bowl;
So let us call, for this is out,
Anither bowl.
M
162 THE TOAST-MASTER.
We never dabbled in the burn,
Nor pull'd the gowan droll,
But often has the sun's return
Surprised our bowl.
Chorus.—Our glass and bowl, &c.
And aft did we the merry catch
And cheering ditty troll,
And. hooted mony a whiggish wretch
About the bowl.
Chorus.—Our glass and bowl, &c.
And, therefore, hills betwixt may rise,
And though ocean water roll,
Yet we'll ne'er forget the lads who met
About the bowl.
Chorus.—Our glass and bowl, &c.
And when yer poet's dead and gane,
And laid beneath the moul,
Let those who sung his memory, drink
About the bowl.
Chorus. —Our glass and bowl, &c.
TOAST :—May care be drowned at the bottom of cup.
Push round the heart-enlivening bowl, boys,
Full tone give to the jovial song;
To mirth the first awakes the soul boys,
The second its delights prolong.
While here with joyous friendship glowing.
Each face arrayed in mirth appears,
Still keep the smiling goblet flowing.
Whilst harmony salutes our ears.
Still keep the smiling goblet, &c.
Thus to life's joys good souls devoted.
When met, to moisten well their clay.
MISCELLANEOUS. 163
The hour of night hare never noted,
Till Time brought round his book next day !
And though Time then the hour might point out.
At the old codger still they laughed,
Bade him pass on, nor slip the joint out
'Twixt mirth and friendship, while they quaffed.
Bade him pass on, &c.
Let not that foe to all good fellows,
Here with our friendship interfere ;
Nor when of Mirth's full chimes grown jealous
When his dull signals din our ear.
While round our circling glass goes cheerly,
Here vainly Time his hour-glass brings,
Or if he urge his flight unfairly,
To our own length we clip his wings.
Or if he urge, &c
We have no leisure here for thinking,
All that we leave to vulgar minds ;
The nobler reason reigns in drinking,
And there a floating sceptre finds,
When at the plenteous board carousing
Where royal red the bowl hath crowned,
Mirth in her cups, true Joy espousing,
Shows Care is at the bottom drowned !
Mirth in our cups, &c.
TOAST :—To every faithful Friend and every pretty lass.
The bards, we're told, in ancient lore
All sung of love, in days of yore,
And touch'd the trembling string ;
Shall we boast of brighter days,
To love alone devote our lays ?
Oh no ! of wine we'll sing.
For love in a minute,
The devil is in it
164 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Will often drive any man mad,
While port and good sherry,
Will make us all merry,
If ever so solid and sad.
Of thee, oh ! Bacchus, god of wine,
We'll sing, and o'er thy sacred shrine,
Strew-never-fading flowers ;
Then wilt thou with thy rosy cheeks,
Turn all our happy days to weeks,
Our moments into hours.
For love, in a minute, &c.
But e'er we from our wine remove,
In bumpers let us—drink to love;
Come put around the glass ;
And let us with it friendship blend,
So drink to every faithful friend,
And every pretty lass.
Though love, in a minute, &c,
TOAST:—God, our King, and Rights.
From birth my native land I've owned
As Liberty's blest shore ;
In every heart she sits enthroned,
And stands at every door.
Then shall we lose our chartered right
Through base and sordid knaves,
No, while we've hearts and hands to fight,
We never will be slaves.
Britannia's sons, with freedom born,
Ne'er heed a foreign foe ;
Our fertile fields are gilt with corn,
And shall we lose them !—No !
We love the soil, and will protect
Or make that soil our graves,
Nor e'er this sacred truth neglect—
That Britons can't be slaves.
MISCELLANEOUS. 165
Then let us raise our bumpers high
With foaming liquor bright,
And ev'ry effort still defy
'Gainst God, our king, and right!
Join hand and heart with one accord,
And waft it o'er the waves ;
By land and sea be this the word—
That Britons wo'n't be slaves.
TOAST :—Woman's heart and Woman's smile—may we
always possess the one, and be cheered by the other.
If there's one beam of heaven on earth's gloomy round,
Tis in eyes where the soft gem of pity is found ;
For beauty's bright glance ne'er so charming appears
As when reeling has veiled half its lustre in tears ;
Then, a toast to the maiden, whose eyes' lucid beam
Points Cupid's keen arrows in Pity's mild stream ;
May her heart by no cares of her own e'er be riven,
And her smiles be the sunshine that lights me to heaven.
How rich the delight that soft tears can impart,
When they spring from that fountain of feeling—the
heart,
And dropt on the wounds of affliction, they prove
Like the pure balm of mercy brought down from above.
Then a toast to the maiden, &c.
I prize not Matilda, though lovely as May,
Her manners are polished, engaging and gay ;
Yet so frigid the current that Hows from her soul,
The gem is congealed ere it reaches the goal.
Then a toast to the maiden, &c.
But thou, my fair Anna, how richly I'm blest,
To lodge all the cares of my soul in thy breast;
To catch the pure sigh breathed from Virtue's soft
shrine,
And see thy eyes glisten with sorrows not thine.
Then a toast to the maiden, &c.
1GG THE TOAST-MASTER.
TOAST :—Old England ! God bless her !
Now a bumper of wine come fill, fill around,
In our toast you will doubtless bear part;
For no faithful Briton has ever been found,
To refuse to his country his heart.
Though princes may boast of their goblets more rare,
To mirth this shall ne'er be depresser ;
We've sincerity—for what else need we care,—
Here's " Joy to old England ! God bless her !"
Yes ! the land of our birth, let that be the toast;
Her brave people, her laws and her king,
And fair liberty too, our especial boast,
Her praises we will not fail to sing.
May our country in war victorious prove ;
In pence, this fine feeling possess her,
To bind her sons' hearts in a concord of love ;—
Here's " Joy to old England! God bless her !"
TOAST :—May mirth give the lest flavour to Wine.
As the mind is disturbed or the heart not at ease,
How diff'rent, how diff'rent the taste of wine.
Let grave ones then learnedly say what they please,
'Tis laughing, 'tis laughing, 'tis laughing,
That gives the best flavour to wine.
Let age give its pity, and call me an ass ;
In return, I as freely give mine.
A burst shall succeed and enliven each glass,
And I'll laugh like a child while I'm drinking my
wine.
Let wisdom for ever quote Latin and Greek,
And to books all their knowledge confine ;
If claret can't make me more flowingly speak,
I'll laugh like a fool while I'm drinking my wine.
MISCELLANEOUS. 167
The miser may think himself blest with his store,
At what have I cause to repine ?
I've a bottle and friend, what can mortal wish more ?
And I'll laugh at his dross while I'm drinking my
wine.
The lover may sigh for the loss of his heart;
'Tis this that has free preserved mine ;
Let him, sobbing, complain of Love's bow and his dart,
I'll laugh at such stuff while I'm drinking my wine.
Could a butt of ambrosia be imported here,
Though so much esteemed by the Nine,
To snarling dull cynics 'twould taste like dead beer,
While laughing makes nectar of humble port wine,
TOAST :—May wit ever sparkle like the. howl
Fill high the bowl, an ample tide,
I love to see it foaming wide ;
The cheerful bumper then display,
Drink to the friendly and the gay ;
Drink will exhilarate the soul,
And make wit sparkle like the bowl.
Let Bacchus, round my temples twine
The clusters of the juicy vine ;
Pour in the claret, 'twill impart
New raptures to the drinker's heart;
'Twill then exhilarate the soul,
And make wit sparkle like the bowl.
Let Love and Bacchus both unite,
Each joined afford supreme delight;
A bumper and a kiss inspire
The mind with mirth and fond desire ;
Both will exhilarate the soul,
And make wit sparkle like the bowl.
The gods themselves to drink incline,
Nectar is punch infused with wine ;
168 THE TOAST-MASTER.
inspiring mirth, and lore, and joy,
Such raptures which can never cloy,
Drink will exhilarate the soul,
And make wit sparkle like the bowl.
TOAST :—May we with good Wine get mellow.
Come, my boys, fill a bumper of sherry,
A Briton can never despair ;
What's life, if we cannot be merry ?
A chaos of grief and dull care ;
Let Hope be our steady sheet-anchor,
And temperate Prudence our guide ;
Miss-Fortune our precepts may canker,
Discretion the storm may deride.
Then, pledge me, each good honest fellow,
The fountain of Bacchus supplies,
With good wine I like to get mellow,
Yet let us be merry and wise.
Success to the lovers despairing,
May they to each prove kind;
What matters protesting and swearing,
If you got the wench in the mind,
To Venus and Bacchus united,
Of whom jolly mortals all boast,
To their banquet so often invited,
Let those be the general toast.
Then, pledge me, &c.
The sage may deliver his lectures,
And ponder o'er Latin and Greek,
To anticipate all his conjectures,
The charms of the bottle we seek ;
With bumpers our knowledge displaying,
We laugh at Miss-Chance and her frowns,
The follies of mankind surveying,
That pine at the world's ups and downs.
Then, pledge me, &c.
MISCELLANEOUS. 160
TOAST :-May Fortune fill the cup and Charity guide
the hand.
Come, thou soul-reviving cup,
And try thy healing art,
Light the fancy's vision up,
And warm my wasted heart.
Touch, with glowing tints of bliss,
Mem'ry's fading dream,
Give me, while thy lip I kiss,
The heaven that's in thy stream.
In thy fount the lyric muse
Ever dipped her wing,
Anacreon fed upon thy dews
And Horace drained thy spring ;
I, too, humblest of the train,
There my spirit find
Freshen there my languid brain,
And store my vacant mind.
When, blest cup, thy fires divine
Pierce through Time's dark reign,
All the joys that once were mine
I snatch from Death again ;
And, though oft fond anguish rise
O'er my melting mind,
Hope still starts to Sorrow's eyes,
And drinks the tear behind."
Ne'er sweet cup, was vot'ry blest
More, through life, than me,
And that life, with grateful breast,
Thou seest I give to thee ;
'Midst thy rose-wreathed nymphs I pass
Mirth's sweet hours away,
Pleased while Time runs through the glass
To Fancy's brighter day.
Then magic cup, again for me
Thy power creative try,
170 THE TOAST-MASTER.
Again lot hope-fed Fancy see
A heaven in Beauty's eye ;
O lift my lightened heart away
On Pleasure's downy wing,
And let me taste that bliss to-day
To-morrow may not bring.
TOAST -.—All jovial souls.
Now send round the glass, and leave plans of reform,
To patriot asses and radical tools,
May we at the wine cup still fatten and swarm,
Bo gay, and be jovial, and laugh at the fools :
Lot us keep it up and push round the bowl,
Here's " Wine ! mighty Wine!" that magical word,
The true source of pleasure, that sheds o'er the soul
Of a Briton, more joy than aught else can afford.
Push the bottle about, what care we for the world
Who's in, or who's out, who's up, or who's down ;
We'll eat of the best while the glasses are twirled.
And drink to " the health of the King and his Crown.'"
Let others bawl for retrenchment and kick up a rout,
While we feather our nests with a full brimming bowl
From our scene of delight, let us keep the fools out,
And drink to the man who's a jovial soul!
TOAST :— The sweets of Life—Mirth, Music, Lore and
Wine.
Life's a bumper fill'd by fate,
Let us guests enjoy the treat,
Nor, like silly mortals, pass
Life as 'twere but half a glass ;
Let this scene with joy be crown'd,
Let the glee and catch go round ;
All the sweets of life combine,
Mirth, music love and wine.
MISCELLANEOUS. 171
TOAST :—May all our cares be drowned in Wine.
One bumper at parting !—tho' many
Have circled the board since we met,
The fullest, the saddest of any
Remains to be crowned by us yet.
The sweetness that pleasure has in it,
Is always so slow to come forth,
That seldom, alas, till the minute
It dies, do we know half its worth !
But fill—may our life's happy measure
Be all of such moments made up ;
They're born on the bosom of pleasure,
They die midst the tears of the cup.
As onward we journey, how pleasant
To pause and inhabit a while.
Those few sunny spots, like the present,
That 'mid the dull wilderness smile!
But Time, like a pitiless master,
Cries ' onward !' and spurs the gay hours,
And never does time travel faster,
Thau when his way lies among flowers.
But, come—may our life's happy measure, &c,
This evening, we saw the sun sinking,
In waters his glory made bright—
Oh ! trust me, our farewell of drinking
Should be like the farewell of light,
You saw how he finish'd by darting
His beam o'er a deep billow's brim—
So fill up, let's shine at our parting,
In full liquid glory like him.
And oh ! may our life's happy measure
Of moments like this be made up ;
'Twas born on the bosom of pleasure,
It dies 'mid the tears of the cup !
172 THE TOAST-MASTER.
TOAST :—May hope brighten the days that are come,
and memory gild the past.
When time, who steals our years away,
Shall steal our pleasures too,
The memory of the past will stay,
And half our joys renew.
Then Chloe, when thy beauty flower
Shall fill the wintry air.
Remembrance will recall the hour,
When thou alone wert fair.
Then talk no more of future gloom ;
Our joys shall always last;
For hope shall brighten days to come,
And memory gild the past.
Chloe, fill the genial bowl:
I drink to love and thee ;
Thou never can'st decay in soul;
Thou'lt still be young for me.
And as thy lips the tear drops chase,
Which on my cheek they find,
So hope shall steal away the trace,
Which sorrow leaves behind.
Then fill the bowl, away with gloom,
Our joys shall always last;
For hope shall brighten days to come,
And memory gild the past.
But mark, at thought of future years,
When love shall lose its soul,
My Chloe drops her timid tears,
They mingle with my bowl.
How like this bowl of wine, my fair,
Our loving life shall fleet !
Though tears may sometimes mingle there,
The draught will still be sweet.
Then fill the bowl, &c.
MISCELLANEOUS. 173
TOAST :—Friendship and Love.
Oh, give me the heart that is cheerful and gay,
And the face that the smiles of good humour illume.
The converse that sparkles with wit all the day,
And at eve can enliven the moments of gloom,
And lot mo while youth, health and vigour are mine,
With the gay sons of mirth all my light moments
share—
Like the bubbles that sparkle and mantle in wine,
Bidding sorrow farewell, and defiance to care.
And dear to the soul are the moments that fly,
With the girl that we love, in the sweet social bower,
While joy's vivid torch flashes bright in each eye,
Nor thought dares to damp the poor bliss of the
hour.
E'en here, e'en with love, shall gay mirth still re-
side,
Nor sighs ever check the dear raptures we prove ;
While I live, let me laugh—still be pleasure my guide,
And mirth be my motto in friendship and love.
TOAST :—May he who wants gratitude e'er want a
friend.
The being devoid of bright gratitude's flame,
Is a wretch without title, unworthy a name ;
To this motto with firmness unceasing I'll bend,
" May he who wants gratitude e'er want a friend."
Here rest in my bosom, and never depart,
Give soul to each feeling and warmth to my heart,
While the cherish'd reflection with life shall but end,
" May he who wants gratitude e'er want a friend.'
174 THE TOAST-MASTER.
TOAST :—May every drop, sprinkled on the brow of
care, smooth away a wrinkle.
Fill the bumper fair,
Every drop we sprinkle
O'er the brow of care
Smooths away a wrinkle.
Wit's electric flame
Ne'er so swiftly passes,
As when thro' the frame
It shoots from brimming glasses.
Fill the bumper fair !
Every drop we sprinkle
O'er the brow of care
Smooths away a wrinkle.
Sages can, they say,
Grasp the lightning's pinions,
And bring down its ray
From the starr'd dominions ;—
Se We, Sages, sit,
And, 'mid bumpers bright'ning,
From the Heav'n of Wit
Draw down all its lightning!
Wouldst thou know what first
Made our souls inherit
This ennobling thirst
For wine's celestial spirit ?
It chanced upon that day,
When, as bards inform us,
Prometheus stole away
The living tires that warm us.
The careless youth, when up
To Glory's fount aspiring,
Took nor urn nor cup
To hide the pilfer'd fire in :—
But oh his joy! when, round
The halls of Heaven spying,
MISCELLANEOUS. 175
Amongst the stars he found
A bowl of Bacchus lying.
Some drops were in that bowl,
Remains of last night's pleasure,
With which the sparks of soul
Mix'd their burning treasure !
Hence the goblet's shower
Hath such spells to win us ;
Hence its mighty power
O'er that flame within us.
Fill the bumper fair !
Every drop we sprinkle
O'er the brow of care
Smooths away a wrinkle.
TOAST :—May we never quarrel from difference of creed.
Come, send round the wine, and leave points of be-
lief
To simpleton sages, and reasoning fools ;
This moment's a flower too fair and too brief,
To be wither'd and stain'd by the dust of the schools,
Your glass may be purple, and mine may be blue.
But, while they are fill'd from the same bright bowl,
The fool, who would quarrel for difference of hue,
Deserves not the comfort they shed o'er the soul.
Shall I ask the brave soldier, who fights by my side
in the cause of mankind, if our creeds agree?
Shall I give up the friend I have valued and tried,
If he Kneel not before the same altar with me ?
From the heretic girl of my soul shall I fly,
To seek somewhere else a more orthodox kiss?
No ! perish the hearts, and the laws that try
Truth, valour, or love, by a standard like this.
176 THE TOAST-MASTER.
TOAST :—The Founder of the Feast.
Let the waiter bring clean glasses,
With a fresh supply of wine—
For I see by all your faces,
In my wishes you will join.
It is not the charms of beauty,
Which I purpose to explain,
We awhile will leave that duty,
For a more prevailing theme.
To the health I'm now proposing,
Let's have one full glass at least,
No one here can think't imposing—
'Tis—" THE FOUNDER OF THE FEAST !"
When we reach our destined gaol, may we resign the
whip and reins with satisfaction to our employer,
and may he alone applaud us, when he writes upon
our way bill, the word
FINIS.