Below is Ashbee's description of the erotic work Phoebe Kissagen [Phoebe Kiss-Again]. Following the Ashbee description is the raw OCR of the reprint from 1875/1876. This book is lacking one leaf (pgs 93 & 94). If you wish to verify the text, please download the PDF of the scanned pages.
Here is what Ashbee has to say:
Phoebe Kissagen ; or, the Remarkable Adventures, Schemes, Wiles, and Devilries of Une Maquerelie; being a sequel to the " New Epicurean."
Sir Toby—"Do'st thou think that because thou art
virtuous there
shall be no more cakes and ale ?—
Clown—" Yes ! by St. Anne, and ginger shall be hot i'the
mouth too ! "—
Twelfth Night ) or, What you will.
London: 1743. [Reprint.]
8vo. ; pp. 96 ; 8 badly done coloured lithographs ; title printed in red and black; this is not a "reprint," but an original publication of 1866 ; price two guineas ; issue 500 copies. The author, Edward Sellon, thinking that his MS. did not contain sufficient matter to form a volume, sent the publisher, W. Dugdale, another tale to make it up, but a Phoebe Kissagen '* being found ample, the second tale was not published ; this will however explain the following remark in Dugdale's catalogue: "to which is added, Scenes in the Life of a Young Man, a narrative of amorous exploits ;" no such scenes are in the volume.
The work has been reprinted ; and was issued in January 1876, in small 8vo.; pp. 99 ; the title printed in black only, and identical in wording, except that the impress becomes: "London, 1743 (Reprinted 1875)." This edition contains the whole of the matter comprised in the original, but some slight alterations have been made. There are no illustrations, although the original stones are still in existence.
"Phoebe Kissagen," which, after the fashion of several French books of the last century, is put in the form of letters addressed to a Lady of title, begins with an account of the death of Sir Charles, who expires during the moment of copulation with his favourite concubine Phoebe. The "good gentleman" leaves Phoebe and Chloe £3000 each, with which they repair to London, and purchase a bagnio in Leicester Fields. All the rooms in the establishment are furnished with peep holes, through which the mistress is enabled to observe, unobserved, every thing that goes on in her house, and the description of the various scenes she witnesses, occupies the greater part of the book.
The rest of the volume is devoted to "The Bagnio Correspondence" or letters received by Phoebe from her numerous clients, male and female, through which their various and peculiar tastes are exhibited.
The book ends almost with a moral, for Phoebe, when arrived at a mature age, falls in love with, and marries a young fellow calling himself Captain Jackson, " a man of desperate fortunes, a gamester and duellist." This gentleman soon squanders all her earnings, and eventually communicates to her a " horrid disease," so that the unhappy Phoebe has to quit London, and retires to a " quiet village, where her former career was unknown."
" Phoebe Kissagen " is cleverly written, and although the scenes, and the language which describes them, are of the grossest kind, there is a certain tone about the book which denotes its author to be a gentleman. As in "The New Epicurean," the dress and associations are of the last century.
PHOEBE KISSAGEN
or the
REMARKABLE ADVENTURES, SCHEMES
WILES AND DEVILRIES
UNE MAQUERELLE
being a sequel to
THE NEW EPICUREAN
Sir Toby. — « Do'st think tliat
because thou art virtuous, there
shall he no more cakes and ale ? »
Clown. — « Yes! by St. Anne,
and ginger shall be hot i'the
mouth, tod! *
Twelfth Night, or What you will.
LONDON, 1743 (Reprinted 1875.)
PHOEBE KISSAGEN.
Madam,
Your billet came safe to hand, and I
honoured by. your ladyship's commands,
in duty bound, I shall obey to the best of nr
ability. You express surprise, my lady,
should be so expert with my pen; perhaps
ladyship is not aware that Sir Charles took
^ trouble with my education; being
Ick parts, I profited by the instruction
j:tleman. Then his conversation was
ful to me, for he could talk history
11 devoutly believe, knew by heart every
of all the amours of our kings and
e the days of Guinevere, the fair, frail spouse
LETTER I.
Which being introductory, will not prove very
interesting to the reader
TO LADY G..... R.
of King Arthur; but what most delighted him were
the witty memoirs of the Comte de Grammont, in
which a full account is given of the voluptuons
Court of Charles II. So it came to pass that what
with hearing him read out of that book, and tell
anecdotes he had read elsewhere, I gained an in-
sight to men and manners, and, as courtesy and I
politeness are the same in every age, I learnt the
meaning of those qualities, and also gained some
knowledge of taste.
But while 1 have been running on about myself,
your ladyship is doubtless dying with impatience to
have your letter answered.
I am requested to tell your ladyship all I can
concerning poor Sir Charles' (1) last moments—a
melancholy subject, madam,_ which I would fain not
have alluded.to. Ah! my lady, what a gallant
gentleman he was!
After our. retreat into Herefordshire (which your
ladyship may remember, was in consequence of
that unfortunale duel,,and lady Cecilia's elopement)^
my master never' seemed the same man at all&j
Whether his wound was the cause, or what it was |
Lcannot say, but he seemed to grow old and peevish, |
as it were, - all at once; and although he survived |
that , event seventeen years, and for five of them had
Miss Medley, besides Chloe and myself, for his mis- I
(4) This personage, the hero of the « New Epicureun, \
supposed to have been the notorious Colonel Chartres, irami
talised by Hogarth in the first plate of the «Harlois Progres*
The redoubtable Colonel took his trial at the « Old Bailee
for a rape in 1735, and only escaped the halter by the adr
ness of his counsel. — ED." " I
tresses, and continued very fond of toying with us,
seeing us naked, gamahuching, and the like, he
never performed the act of love with that vigour
•which formerly characterised him. He would sit
by the window, looking dreamily out into the noble
park which surrounds S* . . . n Hall, listening
to the melancholy rustling of the trees, for hours.
Your ladyship knows what a singular penchant
Sir Charles nad for young girls ; this taste of his
grew upon him largely. He cared no longer for
girls of twelve or thirteen, nothing would do then,
but we must furnish him with pretty children, mere
babies of six or seven. These little girls it was his
delight to gamahuche, and at length he became
impotent unless one or two. of them were present
when he desired our company, upon which Miss
Medley, Chloe, and I made very sad reflections.
At length oiie evening — well do J remember it
— the 3rd of December, Sir Charles sent for me to
his chamber. 4,
" Phoebe, » says he, » I feel quite myself this
evening, and am resolved to dress • go, child, and
tell cook to let us have a good supper, — a roasted
pheasant, or something of that sort. Here are my
keys ; get out some wine from N° 8 bin; mind, with
the green seal. Damme, weTl make a night of it. »
I obeyed his orders, and then returned to the
dressing-room. Sir Charles was gay and merry ;
already he had donned his best wig and ruffled
shirt; his rich embroidered suit, the - one made for
him by Rivierre, of Paris, and which he had not
^->rn for an age, lay on a chair near him.
cr The good gentleman was full of fun, and took all
ortgf of liberties with me while I helped him to
dress, which you may be sure pleased me mightily,
as they proved what excellent spirits he was in.
Going down at lenght into the long drawing-room,
where a large fire burned brightly upon the hearth,
he rang for Chloe and the little girls, with whom he
amused himself till supper was ready, telling with
great glee many of his old droll stories and double
entendres ; in short, he outdid himself by the bril-
liancy of his conversation, and the sparkle of his
wit.
1 I quite regretted'Mrs. Jackson (Miss Medley
as used to be) was not present.
When supper was ready, he did the honours with
his usual grace, drank bumper after bumper of
Burgundy, and enjoyed himself as I had not seen
him do for many a long year.
Supper over and the door fastened, the real fun
of the evening commenced. Nothing- would do but
he must display before us some of his former vigour.
So, calling upon Chloe (who I must acquaint your
ladyship, has grown up into a very fine woman) to
kneel upon the sofa, he tossed up her clothes, and
displayed to view her large, white dimpled posterior,
beneath which might now be seen that 110 longer
hairless cleft, the sweet sign of her sex, a rosy
portal, which stood partly open to receive his wand.
While I; was expecting . the young girls to be
called; forward to gamahuche him, to the surprise
of us all, Sir Charles undid his flap, and displayed
his truncheon, hard an<J erect in all the pride of its
former days. So without more ado, he caught a good
hold of Chloe round the hips, and was into her in a
minute. She, nothing loath, received him withg?
.hearty welcome, and began to wriggle and
in good style. In about ten minutes Sir Cfearl<3
had done the trick, and lay upon her firm breasts,
panting with delight.
When he had a little recovered himself, and had
a glass of wine, he took the two little naked girls,
placed one astride his pego, while he gamahuched
the other. Then, being again ready for action, he
led me to the sofa, and telling me to lie upon my
' back, commenced upon me quite en regie, Chloe,
and the children skilfully manipulating meanwhile.
Nothing could exceed the furore with which he
played his part, covering my face, neck, and breasts
with kisses.
Suddenly a tremor seized him, he spent, and lay
prone upon me like a log ! Why was he so heavy ?
What meant that glassy sjtare ? Oh, horror ! — I
lay joined to a corpse ! Sir Charles was de^dj
So soon as I became aware of this terrific fact, I
struggled from under the body, and rising up, saw
with? feelings I can never forget, .the awe-inspired
countenances of my companions.
But my usual presence of mind came to my aid.
I re-adjusted his dress, and laid the body gently on
its back on the sofa, which bore the evidences of
loves highest raptures.
How suitable a bier for the man ! Alas ! poor Sir
Charles ! I sent the children, under the care of Chloe,
to bed. I put the room a little in order, and then,
but not till then, did I pull violently at the bell, and
summon the servants,.
Three or four came running in.
" Quick ! // said 1, run and fetch the doctor, you
will find him at the Rectory, I heard him say he was
going to have a rubber with the parson this evening.
Run Sir Charles is in a fit !
They disappeared like lightning, for all his ser-
vants loved him, and I, yes, I was left alone with the
corpse. Yes, there it lay in its embroidered suit,
the waxy fingers glistening with gems, and the
diamond shoe buckles flashing light. So still !
Could this be the gallant Sir Charles ? I could stand
it no longer, and fairly blubbered like a child, for
let me tell your ladyship, I truly loved that man!
In an incredibly short space of time, the doctor
arrived, and he told me at once what I had pre-
viously understood — his old friend and benefactor
was dead.
There was an inquest, when the jury returned
the verdict: » Died by the visitation of God, « which
for my part, I consider very ridiculous, as the doctor
told those wiseacres that it was disease of the heart. .
*
* * .
After the funeral, we received a visit from the
lawyer of Sir Charles, who informed Chloe and my-
self very politely that three thousand pounds each
had been bequeathed to us. He added that the
heir would be down next day, and he thought we
should see the propriety of leaving the Hall before
his arrival, and he hoped we should take the
children with us, as no provision appeared to have
been made for them.
To these propositions we consented, and left
that same night. Three days afterwards we were
in London.
We found comfortable lodgings in a street over
against St. Martin's Church; at Charing Cross, and
I at once gave Chloe her cue. I was to pass fo^K
widow, whose husband, a ship captain, had been
drowned three years before. Chloe was my sister,
the little girls my children. With this view, 1
told them they were always tp call me mamma,
and Chloe aunt. Poor innocents ! they had no
recollection of a mother, having both been kidnap-
ped by gipsies, from whom I bought them for Sir
Charles, nor have I the least idea of the condition
of life from which they had been removed*
Having thus cleared the ground, we were pre-
pared with a ready tale, when the next morning
our officious landlady with the curiosity of her
class, began, while setting the breakfast things,
to put the usual pumping questions.
That good woman having forced out, as she
thought, all she wanted to know, and seeing our
purses were well filled, left us at length with a
profusion of courtesies.
In the course of the morning, sending for a coach,
and'taking the children with us, we set off for the
Temple.
In Pump Court lived a young member of the bar,
a Mr. Randall, whom we were well acquainted with,
from his having been a frequent visitor at the Hall
in the shooting season.
This young spark was our very good friend —-
perhaps something more, and to him we proposed
to apply as to the best means of investing onr
legacies.
We found our young Templar up three pair of
stairs, in a very cheerful chamber. He received
us in his robe-de-chambre, and with many apologies
for the disorder of hi&rooms, set chairs and desired
us to be seated.
As your ladyship has possibly never been in the
>: mm
- 10 —
Temple, a description of this young gentleman's j
chambers may amuse you.
The apartment in which we found ourselves was
spacious, and well panelled with good oak wains- i
cot, lighted by two casement windows which loo-
ked into the stone-paved court, in the centre of
which stands a big pump, from which I suppose it
derives its name. A large maple table, six massive
chairs covered in sadly faded and worn velvet, a
cabinet, and a rickety sideboard, comprised the
furniture.
Over the chinney piece was what had once been
a superb Venetian mirror, in a gilt frame, with J
sconces for lights; but now, all cracked and clouded, -j
the gilding tarnished, it presented a sad picture of
departed glory.
On the walls hung fencing foils and masks, boxing ,
gloves, prints representing favorite racehorses, pugi- ^
lists, and so on. Mixed up with the remains of
breakfast, lay the remnants of last night's debauch;
a smashed punch bowl, wine glasses, pieces of pipes,
lemons,, etc..
On the sideboard were numerous bottles, full and
empty, and the whole room was reeking with the
odour of stale tobacco smoke, wine, and strong
waters.
To complete the scene, so strange to. our eyes,
in a corner lay our young gallant's sword, thrust,
through the belt, instead of into, the. scabbard, his
wig, a watchman's lantern, a staff, a woman's cap, ;
and a garter ! —the latter most probably the spoils ]
of some affray in which the madcap had been en-
gaged the night before, when he had beaten the
watch,
A door on one side of the chamber I presumed to
open into the bed room; but as there was 110 saying
whether it might not contain some fair creature,
your ladyship may be sure I was not so indiscreet '
as to put any impertinent question.
Mr Randall, haying first picked up his wig ,
which he tossed carelessly on his head, turned to
me and inquired, —
1/ What happy circumstance am I indebted to for
the honour of a visit « ?
I briefly told him I had called to request his
advice as to the best way of investing our money.
if And so, fi said Mr Randall, crossing his legs,
and producing a handsome snuff box, which he
opened with one hand after the last mode and pre-
sented to me, and then took a large pinch, « so
that dear old sinner is defunct ? «
I nodded.
II Strange, » he continued, « that I should not
have heard of his death; but, gad, Herefordshire is a
deuce of a way off. He was a capital-fellow, was
Sir Charles, but a very devil for the girls. Well,
well, we must all die some day, I suppose, damme !
And now, my dear creatures, what can I. do for
you? I cannot marry you both, but will take
whichever of you will have me. «
He stopped a second, and receiving no reply,
continued.—
,;>v " But, damme, all this time you are
wanting to
learn how to invest your money? Three thousand
pounds each! By Jove, that was devilish hand-
some of .the old boy, though, wasnt it? Well, let
me see, there's (counting on his fingers)—. l,Long
Annuities; 2, Consols; 3, Indian Bonds; 4, South
12 -
Sea(thats a bubble, mind my words, a bubble, not
bubby, my dear, « the wag added aside and tur-
ning to Chloe, " I did not say bubby, but a bubble
— a bubble, my dear creatures, that will burst);
5, There's Government Securities — Stop, I have j
it, « he continued ; « there is a capital house to be!
sold in Leicester Fields; it is freehold, well built, (
and handsomely fitted up ; a night house, where all;"
the bloods (1) about town go, to get rid of their"
money. Old Mother H. — has made a fortune there ;
in five years, and is now retiring from business J
She will want, let me see, I should say a thousand
for the goodwill, and five hundred more for the fur.
niture — a capital spec! The price of the freehold
is two thousand, so that you may have the whole
thing out and out for a cool seventeen hundred
and fifty pounds each, if you two go halves. That
is little more than half your money and with the
rest you can buy an Annuity, my darlings. « I
As, notwithstanding all his madcap ways, we
knew Mr Randall to be a shrewd, clever man of tlif
world, and of undoubted probity, I felt strong®
inclined to agreed but Chloe, more cautious, pro-
posed that we should think it all over, and so;we
left.
To cut the matter short, I may as well tell youa
ladyship that a few days afterwards we again
saw our friend, and told him we had' decided t
follow his advice; and now I am mistress of the
most patrician house of pleasure in the metropolis
frequented as it is by nearly all the quality.
ilJ'Swells.
— 13
But really this letter has Lmbm
long, so with my humble duty to your ladyship,
I remain, madam,
Your servant to command,
PHOEBE KISSAGEN.
LETTER II.
In which the reader is initiated in some of the
mysteries practised in a modern temple of Venus.
Now strip my children, now at once leap in, •
And see who best can dash through thicK and thin.
Pope,
— V; '
TO LADY MARY MONTAGUE.
Madam,
I am vastly obliged to your good ladyship for all
your kind inquiries. I am happy to say that, thank
j the Lord, my new place of businesses thriving nicely
F ^md while 1 can maintain my company select, and
rtny girls in good health, all will go on well.
As my customers are all gentlemen of the first
Equality, I can fit your ladyship to a hair with a gal-
14 —
V
lant, whenever you like to honour Leicester Fiell
with a visit; ,mine is the,corner house at the sgutjt
end; but be pleased, madam, to give me a day's
tice, to give time for a few necessary inquiries.
You desire me, my lady, to give you a relation of 1
our doings here, in the rogering line, and I'll use |
my endeavours to please your ladyship, which I can
x the more readily do, as both Ghloe and 4elf have
peepholes to all the rooms of our wenches, and can
both see and hear allthat passes in those chambers
whenever we have a mind to.
I will therefore take them in rotation, from no. 1, \
to no. 20. 1
room 1.
Last night this room was hired by young; Sir
Char teres Neville. Miss Sophy Buller, to whom the
chamber belongs, is as pretty a piece of goods as
you ever saw in your life; a little woman, excee-
dingly well made, and just turned twenty.
She has the most languishing black eyes in the
world, and her fine hair, which is a'rich chesnut
colour, she wears au naturel, as the French say, ^
that is without powder or ribbons; only on one side
v *
of her head is attached, jauntily enough, a real*
damask rose. ,
She has a skin perfectly smooth, white, and
polished as marble. Her breasts are two hard,
white balls, which, without the aid of stays, stand
bolt upright, and are of great size and volume.
Her waist is little, and this beauty very much en-
hances the delicious bulge of her plump hips and
posteriors, Sure no one but your ladyship has such
lovely hemispheres, as one of my gentlemen calls
— 15
jm; beginning at the fleshy part of her thigh,
aey seem to meander away upwards quite to her
•waist, where they terminate, leaving two deep
|dimples on either side of the ravishing crease.'
1 For the rest, she has a belly smooth and white,
scuriny tight and well fledged, a well turned leg,
land small feet.
f Sir Charteres, who is a handsome young man as
any girl could desire, appeared very fine in his
embroidered suit and full bottomed periwig,
%word, bag, and solitaire.
P He entered the room laughing, with his arm round
?Sophy's waist, in great glee at finding the dear
?girl disengaged. She is his favorite piece, for, t \
the saucy gentleman observed to me one day, —
a Phoebe, « says he, « for a jolly good fuck,
give me a girl with an arse of her own; none of your
.flimsy slips of girls will suit my fancy.— plenty of
white, firm flesh, Phoebe, that's the thing 1 require./'
p Bless the dear young fellow's heart, he got all he
wanted in Sophy 1
| As soon as he had secured the door, he said, —
t» Come, my dear, off with your rattletraps "
K clothes are great enemies to the rites of Ve-
nus. a
And so saying, he began to set the example, pul-
ling off his things with astonishing alacrity, Sophy
laughed to see how quick he was, but, as she was
not encumbered with much dress beyond her loose
jown and smock, she very soon stood up in her
dockings and shoes, all else being entirely
faked. J
At thi ^ sight, the young gentleman tore off his
seeches, the only thing he still wore, and bounding
Hi
to her, he caught the sweet girl in his arms, and
buried his face in her bubbies. Then he lifted her '
up, and thrusting out his tongue, he licked her
nearly all over-her titties, her cunny, her dimpled
bum, arms, face ; and then, as if he had not satisfied
his hunger, he finally thrust his /fiery tongue into
her little rosy mouth.
She, being an adept in her art, and, as I can asfsure
your ladyship, one of the best performers, in the
whole'world, expanded wide her plump thighs,- then
seizing onhis hard, red-headed staff, she guided the
restive steed into the stable.
This action on her part so -excited Sir Charteres
that, tipping her. back on the bed, he was upon her
in a moment.
It was a sight that did my heart good, to see these
two young creatures, in the bloom of youth, health
and beauty, enjoying ajl the sweets of love. For
now Sophy began to wriggle and twist", first thro-
wing one leg over his" back, then the other, now
with a desperate bound tossing him up, then with
expanding limhs'catching him again, like a .game
of cup and ball; but human nature could not stand
this, sort of thing" very long, and so, amidst sighs and
Coos, and, « Oh, my precious loves, « and // Ahs, «
and «Urrs, » the climax came, and dissolved in
bliss; they then lay for some minutes in each other's
arms quite still.
But soon the fire of desire, again played in
veins of the young lover, and rising, he made
kneel upon all fours on the bed; tl^en, after kissing!
and caressing those bulging Turkish beauties of
hers, he pointed his rampant prick at the right spo^
and seizing on her bubbies he began to move with
mmmem&m -
— 16 —
^reat rapidity, going home to the hilt at every
thrust.
Nothing I can assure your ladyship, could be more
exhilarating and exciting than this scene, Sophy
bounding, and ever and anon, by the flexibility of
tier loins, giving her buttocks a voluptuous shake.
The smacking of his belly against them, and then
the great beauty of the two forms — nothing could
be finer. It was a triumph of nature, and I co^ld
riot help regretting that Mr Gervaise was not with
me, to make a drawing of the pair.
« But, alas! the greatest pleasures in this life are
but fleeting, » as the worthy' Sir Charles used to
say, for in about five minutes their sighs came short
mi quick, their ejaculations of bliss commenced,
md soon all was over for that bout. So, leaving my
^oung lovers to recover themselves, I thought I
would see what was going on in
Room II.
Here a very different scene was enacting.
The first person my eyes rested on, was a tall
middle-aged man, dressed entirely in black, but the
brilliants of the finest water which sparkled rn the
buckles of his shoes and in his silver mounted sword,
the delicate whiteness of his hands, and the costly
Mechlin lace ruffles which shaded them, smacked
toojrmch of la mode, for any person to be mistaken
hi .e quality*of the gentleman. He was in fact, no
pt.er but your old friend Lord Fartington. He was
r anmg in the most graceful attitude against a ca-
binet, holding in his right hand a formidable looking
X
-=- 18
birch, rod tied up with scarlet ribbon. In front
him stood three remarkably pretty young girls
thirteen or fourteen years of age, who were, in fac
my flogging pupils, who went by the names (
Cherry, Merry, and Frolic.
Miss Cherry was in the act of horsing the lovel
Frolic; while Merry, laughing all the time, rolle
up her clothes to her shoulders, and prepared to hoi
her feet.
As soon as all was ready; and the peach-like
budding bottom of the sweet girl well exposed t<
view, together with a charming rosy cunny, per
fectly free from any vestige of hair, which poute<
out impudently beneath those tempting globes, hi
lordship advanced and imprinted on them a raptu-
rous kiss. Then, standing back two or three feet, he
raised his arm.
a Now miss, a cried he, affecting great anger,
a I'll teach you not to be naughty any more, a good
sound flogging will do you good. «
With that he commenced laying on in good ear-
nest, and with all the strength of his arm.
At first, the poor little buttocks of miss Frolic only
assumed a deep carnation hue, but soon up ros
large weals, the blood started forth and ran dow
her thighs. She roared, the screamed for mercy.
« Oh, oh, oh ! my lord, for heaven's sake! Ah
it is dreadful. Mercy! Mercy!
But the excitement was too charming to Lord
Fartington, he felt a sensible thrill of delighfcf;^
every stroke he gave, and relaxed not his Mov^tiV
quite exhausted, and the rod worn to a stump,Ai^
sank down on the floor.
As for poor Frolic, she was carried, fainting and]
— 19 —
oaning to her room. And here, my lady, I may
ike occasion to remark, that for my part I never
buld seethe pleasure of this flogging letch. My late
fccellent 'friend and patron had the penchant a little
El his youth, and there were times when he would
nuse himself by birching Daphnis and Chloe (1),
it he never hit very hard, and only made their
ims glow rosy and red. As to drawing blood and
iating them in this barbarous manner, he was al-
gether too humane for that. But hear the sequel
this singular scene.
By the time Merry and Cherry had returned to
o."2; his lordship was on his legs again, as right as
trivet. Then my two little dears, knowing quite
ell their parts, began to reproach him for his
uelty, and at length seizing upon him, had his
eeches down in a trice; then they tied his hands,
d pushing him forward on the bed, Merry seized
3 legs. While Cherry, taking a bran new rod out
the closet, belaboured his buttocks most furious-
He all the time making a great to do, preten-
ig to struggle to free himself, and begging for
rcy. When Cherry was tired, Merry advanced
th another new rod, so that in ten minutes the
i was covered with blood, and his bum as raw as
>eefsteak.
Suddenly his lordship sprang off the bed, displa-
lg his pego hard and stiff against his belly.
I have seldom seen a finer erection. » Quick,
lick! « heexclamed; and he seized on little Merry,
;i) Characters in the « New Epicurean. »
— 20 —
tossing up her clothes in a moment. Then mountii
upon her, he began driving at her little cunny.
The girl was tight and young, and cried out th
he was too big for her, that he hurt her.
This seemed to give him great delight; and
make her cry out the more, he began nipping hi
thighs and little bottom with his. nails, and gro-\
ling over her like a wild beast. I every mome.
expected to see him bite the girl, so rabid did 1
seem.
Cherry, I must confess, had the best of it, f
she was neither flogged nor pinched , but sto<
behind, cooling my lord's flayed bumbo with a fai
and from time to time squeezing his balls.
To a genuine flagellant, all this I dare say, wou
have been very delightful to behold, but I can a
sure you, madam, to me it seemed vastly absur(
and so ludicrous did my lord look with his wig a
awry, and his whipped posteriors', that I had tfc
greatest possible difficulty to keep from laughing
But when getting off the girl at length (who bj
the bye, he had well nigh split up with his gre*
cock) he went to sit down, but quickly leapt u
in an agony of pain, he presented a figure so exce;
sively droll, that I could hold in no longer, an
laughed till the tears ran down my face. ,
a Who's that langhing? u, cried Lord Fartingtor
coming at once to his senses, and-looking ver.
eros-s. n I hope we have no spies here, eh, girl?
he added sharply, turning to Cherry.
a Oh dear me, no! My Lord, u she said with
toss of her pretty little head, // this is the top bi
gnio in the town, my lord, we has no bullii
here. «
and seizing" on fifc
m But I heard someone laugh, « retorted his
ordship, a little softened, however.
// Oh, that's nothing, « said Cherry, pertly; « we
ear laughter, groans, sobs, cries, screams, oaths^
nd bawdy catches and songs here every night, and
ever take no notice. No more should your lordship,»
ad she dropped him the prettiest curtsey in the
orld.
By this Lord -Partington had buttoned up his bree-
hes, making however, many a wry face while per-
)rming the operation, and setting his wig straight
efore the mirror, he put on his coat, and buckled,
n his sword.
Por Merry was crying on the foot of the bed .
rolic was in her own room in dreadful pain, and
cherry alone was left to show his lordship the door.
She took a candle and led the way,
Now, it is a peculiarity in Lord Partington that-
Le is always very profuse in promises before he
>egins his sport, and very parsimonious and rude
vhen all is over. Knowing my customer, therefore,
did not leave the little matter of payment to be
ettled between him and Cherry, but waylaid my
ord on the stairs.
" Well, woman! n said he roughly, // what do
rou want ? //
// Come, come, my lord, be civil, if you please,
fou know very well what I want without my tel-
ing you, I suppose. Marry-come-up! you're not the
)nly sprig of quality that comes to my house by
ong chalks, » I exclaimed, setting my arms a-
umbo.
; " Hey-day ! Hey-day! Whats the matter with the
woman now ? *>
ii The matter is, my lord, » said 1, assuming-
indignant air; a that you have nearly flogged c
of my girls to death, and it may be a week bef<
she's fit for business. And as for the other, you]
well nigh split her up and spoiled my market. S
is a flogging girl, not a fucking one, as you km
very well, and you ought to have sent to one oft!
other rooms for a woman if you wanted one, aJ
not go and take the maidenhead of a young creatuj
like that. Fie ! Fie! my lord, I thought you was]
gentleman. Aud then never to give either of tB
poor girls a crown for themselves. Oh, my! how'
do hate mean people! v
u Stop, stop! my good Mrs Kissagen, » cried il
alarmed peer, seeing that I had aroused the who!
house, and that heads were popping out of the dooj
of the different chambers in every direction. « FdJ
heaven's sake hold your clatter, and name yoi
price, a 1
a This was all I wanted, so I now lowered ml
tone, and coming to the point by degrees, show!
his lordship out at last with a profusion of smijM
and a crisp bank note for two hundred pounds cms*
hed up in my hand .
I now went to look after my girls. I found Frdlil
dreadfully mauled indeed, and was fain tQ pacify hi
with a guinea, and the promise of a new mantilla]
and having given her some mulled'wine and bathel
her poor little bum with an astringent lotion |
always kept for the purpose, I drew her curtains an4
left her to repose. Jw
1 now returned to No 2, where I found little Merry1
still crying, and in a great fright lest I should be
angry with her for allowing his lordship to takehei
he i
laidenhead. I comforted her as well as I could, and
lipping a crown into her hand, told her to turn up
hat I might see what damage was done.
The poor little thing had been much torn, and her
laidenhead quite gone, with a crack in the skin
early reaching her anus, and all her cunny very hot
nd inflamed; her legs and bottom too were pinched
lack and blue, and in short, she had had quite
nough of it. So, after applying some remedies, I
ave her also some mulled wine, and bid her good
ight. As for Cherry, as she had played her part
retty well, I took her as a treat to see some of the
erformances, and we walked off to see what they
rere doing in n° 3. But I do not want to surfeit your
idysbip, so will defer an account of what else I saw
ill the next letter.
LETTER III.
n which some queer fellows and rummy prigs
are shown up.
TO THE SAME.
Madam, ^
I resume my pen according to the promise I made
rour ladyship last week, and will now describe the
contents of
Room III.
In an easy chair was seated a venerable looking
Id gentleman, who appeared more like a man of
— 24 —
eighty than seventy four, which was his real al
Though so old, he yet took a great pride inf
dress, which was cut after the latest French mol
He wore a superb suit of sky-blue velvet, so coveij
with gold lace, however, that very little, off
costly material was visible. His silk stockings wq
rolled above the knee, the heels of his shoes vej
million, the buckles set with brilliants, and he vrm
a large diamond on the ring finger of his rij
hand. His laced hat3 which he kept on his periv
was also ornamented with a red plume, and; wi
wickedly cocked over his left eye, after the styl
affected by all the young bloods and gallants o!
town. Add to this a rapier of unusual length,- anc
the portrait is complete. I think I need scarcely tell
your ladyship who tliis well known personage was,
as you must have recognised the likeness, especially
when I tell you that he wore a star on the left breaft.
and the cordon bleu. 9
The old gentleman was sitting with one leg cros^
sed over the other, playing with his enamelled
snuff box, and occasionally taking a pinch, while
he attentively observed half a dozen little girls, v.hoj
quite naked, played abont the chamber, turned hJl
over heels, or scrambled for the sugar plums ■
now and then threw by handsful amongst thej
Behind him, stood my old friend Chloe .(not that *
is herself old, bye the bye, for she • is but twos
eight, and one of the finest women on town); o|
console of marqueterie stood a massy silver salv
with a bottle of hypocras and glasses, and her <
was to replenish that of the old man. ^^
Every now and then one of the little girls would
come within his reach, when he would catch th|B
- 25 —
fig them, kiss them, and let them go again. All this
rent on with but little variation for nearly half an
our. At length, the old boy turned to Chloe, and
aid,
« I think my dear, I begin to feel a slight sensa-;
on. Will you a-ah-that is-you know. «
Then Chloe, kneeling down Wore him, undid his
ap, and lifted out a large, and not badly formed
ego. It had swelled up, but seemed to have no
ower to raise its head. Chloe therefore chafed it
ently between her hands, the little girls crowded
Dund to have a look, and at length, bo ! up it stood
11 alone!
Huzza! " cried the old fellow, tossing off a
umper; « now my dear, lose no time, « said he,
agerly to Chloe, who had indeed pulled up her do-
les in a trice. She straddled over him, and then the
hildren, laughing and pushing, seized hold of
Mr Peaslin « and popped him in.
All this time the old man sat perfectly still, lea- ,
ing Chloe to do all the work, and she began to;
love rapidly a la postilion. This lasted another half
Lour.
« The sensation's passing off! « said the poor old
ellow. // Quick, a gamahuche, a gamahuche!. »
rVith the speed of thought a little girl (she was the
oveliestofthe six) sprang on to the arm of his chair,
tnd nimbly pirouetting her right leg over his head,
>rought her foot down on the other arm, presenting
him a Tinstant, her beautiful peach-like little
Dttom, and a tiny rosy cunny, as fresh as a rose,
le old man's tongue was in it in a moment.
" It swells again, all right! « cried Chloe, mimic-
In g a postillion as she went on with her trotting.
— 26 —
Presently the old fellow stretched out his arms atj
enclosed the buttocks of Chloe with a tight embrao
he began to heave up his body, and gave her pui
for push; then he tossed over the little girl, aj
Chloe hugged him to her bosom. The old mat
head fellback. Spending, he had fainted. Restofa
tives were now administered, and he was soon 1
right again. So, swallowing.another glass of hyj)<
eras, he allowed Chloe to button up his flap, coclaj
his plumed hat again over his left eye, kissed ll
children all round, put a well-filled pocket booi
into Chloe's hands, and took leave with « Damml
not-so bad for an old chap, neither ! «
Cherry was' much amused with this scene, anq
whispered me that it was as good as a play, anc
we now visited J
Room IV. J
The only person I could see upon looking in
this room, was pretty Lucy Rackett, a charmir
black * girl of sixteen, who was famous for caf|
vating men of certain tastes, en masquerade.
That she was expecting a visitor was most ev
dent, for she had just completed a most killing t.o
let. Her lovely black hair unpowdered, had b&j
frizzled by the coiffeur, and tied behind with ceris
colored ribbons. She wore a ruby velvet suit, line
with crimson silk, and her coat had gold lace dow
the seams ; the flaps were richly embroidered. H<
breeches fitted tightly on limbs of the finest nioul
and her pearl white silk stockings, richly clocke
The old fashioned term for a brunette, or dark woman.—Ed.
the i
27
t the sides, were rolled over her knees after the
lost approved fashion. She wore also ruffles of lace,
ad had diamond buckles on her red-heeled shoes;
hile to complete the tout ensemble, a tiny cut steel
vord peeped out beneath the skirts of her coat.
rith a hand placed jauntily on her left hip, her
ttle laced hat under her arm, she.stood the picture
' graceful elegance, her head slightly turned to-
ards the door.
At length steps were heard approaching, the door
)ened, and a man of about fifty years of age
itered.
Have you ever, madam, observed attentively the
ce of a fox ? because, if you have, a pretty correct
ea will be conveyed to your mind of this persons
iysiognomy; in all other respects the gentleman
as well enough. A wiry well set figure set off by a;
rand suit en Pompadour, and the usual accessories
f a person of quality, together with the bel air,
rovedhis breeding. Doffinghis hat and advancing,
rith a profusion of grimaces, he began in broken
English.
w Ah ! ma petite ange, and how is you to-night?
f by your looks I may tell, vy, I tinkl should say
iharmant. Ah, mon dieu! vat a delicieux costume.
Ah ! cocime une ange ! «
" Thank you, Monseigneur, I am quite well,
/'hat will you please to take ? There is some
excellent claret and alp burgundy. //
» Ah, parbleu ! I see dis dear love before me, and
she ask me, vat you tak? Yy, my dear, vat sud I
tak but yourself ? »
. There was a good deal more of this sort of jargon,
Ind then Monseigneur le Due de Bellaire (for it was
— 28 —
that distinguished foreigner) proceeded to somethin
more practical.
9 But his proceedings were dashed with a certai
oddity, which little Cherry did not at all compri
hend. First he undid the flap of Lucy's breeche«
and put in his hand, every now and then ejaculating
« Bel gargon ! bel gargon ! « At last he ,unbuttone
them altogether, and pulled them down to he
knees.
But he never even glanced in front, but turnin
her round, paid his devotions to her well forme*
hinder beauties. Then he released his pegoV
Mercy on us, what a queer affair ! It was nd
above half the size of an ordinary man's, but whs
it wanted in bulk it made up for in length.
This concern he began to point much too fa
.behind; but Lucy Would not allow this game, am
guided him right. The duke appeared chagrine;
at this.
>1 Look, a he said, » I will give you one hundrefj
guineas. »
Lucy shook her head.
a Two hundred. «
Another shake of the head.
a Tree hundred! « he exclaimed eagerly, pulling
out his pocket book.
Lucy wavered. ,
u Oui, ma mie ! " cried he; « I vill give you fifty
more for yourself ! »
Then, after counting out the notes, which .she
secured in her bosom, he again caught her in his
arms; My God ! be careful ! it's "the first time, - cried
the artful minx. The duke having applied some
spittle to her beautiful brown bum hole, easily guided
in his long thin prick; Miss Lucy was. soon recbN
ciled to this mode and gave way to her -delight, how\
nice ! it's better than the other way, go on, and
tickle my fanny at the same time. Suiting her
actions to her words, she wriggled and plunged
under his pricker, oh ! you do make me spend ! oh !
youv'e come, it's so nice and warm, and beats any
thing I have ever read in the books, oh ! oh ! keep
on again ! The duke exhausted with delight, cried,
« Quelbel plaisir, dis is what cle serpent teach Adam
and Eve ! dis is de forbidden fruit ! ma belle Lucy !
« Oh— oh ! whispered Cherry, I don't fancy that
man at all; Let us come to n° 5,dear Mr* Kissagen.«
Room V. * +-r ^
- - •'* ■
On looking through the aperture, we beheld our,
pretty blonde, Clarissa Fairfield, entertaining the
wealthy Indian Rajah, who you are aware is now
on a visit to this country in consequence of some
dispute with the East India Company respecting
the boundary of his territories.
Rajah Rum-un-fuckum-juim-fah Bahadoor (what
long names these Indians have !) is a great fat man,
of dark chesnut color, with little black eyes, and
short moustachios. He wore a turban, and his
dress, entirely of gold tissue, shone in the waxlights,
every movement he made.
..I have seen people dressed very similar to him,
the playacting booths at fairs. Squatting cross
^ged like a tailor, smoking a tremendous pipe,
which I believe they call a hookey (but your lady-
ship understands, I dare say,) he had got Clarissa in
ue funniest attitude imaginable; her heels restj
on his shoulders; and she sat downonhis two hand'
his queer black pego, of considerable bigness, wj
just begining to enter her cunny, when we arrive
at our post.
The method was novel; when he wanted to giv
a home thrust, he dropped her upon him; then h
would have a pull at his hookey, blow the cloud int
her face, and handle her bubbies a bit, saving everj
time he did so,
a Rubbee bubbies, missee, dat makee de luj
come ! «
Then he would lift her up again, and so on Am
for Cherry and myself, we were ready to die wit®
suppressed laughter.
But what amused us most, were the grotesquJ
efforts made by poor Clarissa to suppress her disgust'
of her swarthy admirer, and appear pleased. Hdj
made her strip entirely naked, shoes and stockings"
included, saying, .
a Ladies, in my cunt-arey nolee wearree. Rajah
not likee; Feringhee dress not good. White missee,
too much nicee—much pretty got. «
To add to the poor girls mortification, he appeared
as if he would never come to an end, for when he
thought the finish was coming he stopped, and had
a few puffs at his pipe. I am sure we must have
watched them half an hour at least, and they were
still hard at it when we left.
But it is time I concluded this billet, remaining.
Madam,
Your obliged, humble servant
Phcebe Kissagen.
LETTER IV.
In which our young Templar again appears on
the scene.
TO THE SAME.
Madam,
In a former letter, I gave yon some account of a
visit we paid to Mr Randall, a young barrister, in
the Temple.
I felt so grateful to him for the good thing he had
put me into by introducing me to this house, that
no sooner were we got all straight, than I wrote
him a letter, thanking him anew for all his kindness
and attention, and inviting him to sup with me on
the Sunday following.
That is a day on which we always close our
place of business to customers. Not so much, you
may readily believe, from religious motives as from
i desire to have one day in the seven to ourselves,
it all events. Besides it affords an opportunity to
et the house cleaned down, and things put a bit to
ights, for I cannot bear mudde and nastiness in any
hape.
Well, I got a vastly pretty pink billet from the
oung Templar in reply, wherein, after paying me
any compliments, which, however, I hope I have
po much good taste to put down here, went on to
ay that he would have much pleasure in accepting
e invitation, and would be with me punctually at
ht.
— 32 —
Chloe and I, therefore, set to work and put my'
private parlour in order. It is a sweet pretty room
at night, when the crimson silk curtains are drawn, ,
the six pairs of wax candles in their silver sconces!
lighted up, and a roaring fire burning in the bright
grate.
On the sideboard shone a goodly show of massy i
plate, the gift principally of different patrons, to |
which I had added decanters and glasses of Bohel
mian and Venetian manufacture; 'and there was a
good supply of wine, withal. So that nothing was
wanting to make the young spark welcome.
•Punctually at eight o'clock he arrived; so having
rung the bell as a hint to Betsy, the cook, that we
were ready for supper, I made him vastly welcomej
But the sly rogue was not satisfied with shaking
hands, but must needs kiss both Chloe and myself*
and thrusting one hand in Chloe's neck and the other
in mine, he began handling our bubbies-an innocenl
piece of familiarity to which we, of course, made nc
manner of objection, but my maid Sally, coming in
just then with the supper, caused him to forbear
his pranks for the present, and we sat down tc
table.
A hare larded j brace of roast fowls with sorrel sauc^
and numerous French kickshaws not worth naming
•formed the supper, to which our guest did ample
justice, washing it down with copious libations Oj
claret. At length, when the table had been cleared
and wine and fruit placed on the. polished walnul
wood, he again expressed the pleasure he felt a1
seeing us once more, and then went on to remind
me of a sort of half promise I had made him in the
Temple. ^
ii hUT^ tiie
33
h Oh, a said 1, laughing, u I remember it very
well; but surely, now you are in a house full of
some of the finest young women in London, who I
can assure you are entirely at your command, free
of any charge, you will not prefer your quondam
sweetheart whom you used to fuck under the big
tress of Sir Charles5 park, down yonder in Here-
fordshire ? Remember, I'm five or six years older
than I was then, and in two or three years more
shall be forty. //
a Pooh! pooh ! a cried my young spark, //what
matters about your age, my dear Phoebe ? To my
' eyes you are more charming than ever, and I prefer
you to all the laced mutton you may have in the
house, damme! «
// Oh, fie fie ! Mr Randall, // said I, a you mus'nt
talk that way, or youTl quite offend Chloe. »
* Now, Venus forbid ! « cried the amorous Tem-
plar. a I can assure you, my dear creature, I have
a heart capacious enough to retain a remembrance
of the beauties of both ; » and he laid his hand on
his embroidered waistcoat. // I'm not like that ras-
cal Macheath, in the Beggars's Opera, who could
only love one woman at a time, damme! » and he
hummed the well known lines,
« How happy could I be with either,
Were t'other dear charmer away !
But while you thus ieaze me together,
To neither a word can I say. »
« No, no! my precious creatures, my turtle doves;
I can love you both at once; I've a strong back
I damme. « 4
We laughed heartily, your ladyship may be sure
— 34 — t I
at this sally, while he, to prove the truth of his as-
sertions, let loose his great truncheon, and flung his
arms round us both.
a Seniority ought to bear the palm, «said the mad
fellow, taking me by the hand with as much grace
as if he were leading out a young lady to dance a
minuet, and advancing to a convenient couch in the
chamber; w but as idleness is the root of all evil,
fair Chloe, do you come also; your little quim shall -
have my tongue, while charming Phoebe takes the
sugar stick, n
No sooner said than done. I being laid on my back,
he mounted me en regie. Then Chloe, sitting on the
head of the sofa, offered him her moss rose.
1/ Ah, ha ! // cried Mr Randall, // this little cunny
has become fledged since I last had the pleasure of
seeing it in Herefordshire. Egad ! I thought you a
beautiful little girl then, but you are a much finer
one now. « Law, sir ! « laughed Chloe,« do you I
think so ? «
a Oh, you little sly puss, you know very well, » j
said the Templar. Then he took a good hold of
my hips, and fucked me with a vigour that rejoiced 1
my heart. Once more I felt all those delicious sen-j
sations which had been called forth years and J
years ago by poor Sir Charles. How I bounded J
and spent! bit and squeezed him ! how I wriggled :
and twisted ! Oh, my lady, it was a dream of bliss
for me. I was in a delirium of joy. Dear man !
how 1 hugged and loved him !
Nor was Chloe without her delight; he had a|
skilful tougue, and used it nimbly, so that he soonl
set her spending and wriggling as much as myself. J
At length, when all was over, and he had gal-I
— 35 — t I
lantly handed me back to my seat near the fire, he
just waited to swallow a bumper, and then making
Chloe kneel up on the couch, he went slap at her
like a young bull as he was, for his prick was still
stiff as ever, notwithstanding the spurting shower
of love's nectar, with which he had just refreshed
my tulip.
a Oh, damme ! » he cried, " what an arse you
have, Chloe ! what a white, smooth, dimpled, glo-
rious full moon it is ! »
Smack, smack, went his belly against those
globes at every thrust. « Ah ! dear girl, how nice
and tight your pretty hairy cunt is ! Ur-r-r ! » and
he ground his teeth.
I could stand this scene no longer, so running
up to him, I began to play with his cod-piece,
slapping and feeling him about, and covering his
nakedness with hot kisses.
Such additional aggravation soon brought on
his climax and giving six or seven rapid pushes, he
dispatched Chloe with a tremendous thrust, which
must have reached her very womb's mouth.
After this second performance, he seemed incli-
ned to wait for awhile, so, to amuse him, I proposed
that we should steal up the stairs and peep into all
the girl's rooms, to see how they were passing
the time.
The idea tickled him mightily; so, buttoning up
nis breeches, and with one arm around my waist,
and the other round Chloe's, we first went to
Room VI.
This apartment was in the occupation of Effie
Gordon, a native of the north of Scotland, and*
notwithstanding that her hair was as red as a
carrot, she had beauties not to be despised, and on
any other evening but Sunday .would have been
sure to have had a gallant with her. As it was, she
was alone.
But before I relate to you, my lady, what she was
doing, 1 will endeavour to give you her portrait
She is a lassie, then, of about eighteen years of
age. To a skin of that peculiar whiteness which red-
haired people nearly always possess nature had
given her a shape so voluptuously formed as to en-
thral the senses of all who had once beheld her. Her
face presented a perfect oval; the bloom of the rose
glowed in her cheeks, in which, when smiling, she
displayed two deep dimples. Her nose was small,
slender, and slightly retrousse, her lips looked like
two pieces of coral; and as for her white teeth, the
seeds of the pomegranate were the only things they
could be compared with. Her light blue eyes were
large, melting, loving, and shaded by eyelashes
perfectly black. Her eyebrows, indeed, were the
same color as her hair, but beautifully arched. She
wore her hair frizzled, ornamented with pale blue
ribbons, and thickly powdered to conceal its colour.
Her ears we observed to be singularly small and
beautiful, reminding one of the petals of a rose; a
solitary brilliant (but of considerable bigness and
the finest water) glittered like a dew drop in either
ear. Her neck and shoulders were perfect, and her
bosom large and exquisitely formed; her waist
small and round, and her hips, thighs, and but tocks,
prodigious! Then where before had our young gal-
lant seen such rounded arms, or such little taper
hands and feet ?
n iiMiiiiiiiT1"^ i
— 37 —
//What, »I hear your ladyship exclaim, « was
the naked, then? «
Yes, she was indeed, and stretching herself out
wantonly on the r.ug before the fire frigging herself
thoughtfully with her forefinger every now and
then. It was evident to us all, that she was either
trying to recall some delicious scene with a favorite
gallant, perhaps with her first seducer ; or else, that
she was expecting a visit from one of the girls of
the house.
Meanwhile, nothing could be finer than the sight
offered to our view. One moment she would twist
her legs, squeeze them together, and arch in her
back; the next she would straddle wide, and dis-
play every beauty ; anon, she would turn over on
her belly, and move up and down on the rug, sho-
wing all her hinder beauties with great advan-
tage.
At length the door opened, and in marched Lucy
Rackett.
« Well Lucy, my pet, you're coom at last, then,
I couldna ken wha had kept ye sae lang. Come here,
my bonnie lassie, and tip me the gamahuche, for
I'm awfu randy. //
a Oh. oh ! n whispered M. Randall, « damme !
this beats cock-fighting.
a Is she not a fine woman ? u said I.
a Vastly fine, « replied the Templar.
" How you say that! just as if you did not admire
her at all. »
ii Really! is not that droll! •>
a Very extraordinary indeed, » put in Chloe, «
seeing that all the men about town think her su-
perb. a
— 38 —
» Vastly strange, said I.
« What? » retorted Mr Randall.
» Why, that you should not admire her. »
a I did not say so. «
" Oh, what a tiresome, bantering man yon are, «
said I, givingliirn a sly pinch. « Tell ine directly, do
you not admire her very much ? »
// Oh, tol, lol! //
a That means only a little I suppose? »
a Madam, « said Mr Randall, and he looked me
full in the face, // twas I who seduced her. n
a Whew! the murder's out now, and l ean under-
stand it all, I suppose. »
a Be so good as never to mind what you suppose,
my dear Phoebe, for once in a way, but observe how
these innocent lambs are disporting themselves.
Let me see. this is what-the French call tribade-triba
dinu, as we should say. One girl lies down, and
opens her legs, another gets over her reversed
and then each exercices her salacious tongue upon
the cunny of the other. Happy creatures! whatthrills!
what blisses! what inventions of delight! They enjoy
it vastly, I dare say, but I suppose I'm not old enough
to" care for these extraordinary scenes. I'd rather
have one good fuck with a fine woman, than all the
peep holes in the world. Come, let us go. « I wag
vexed, you may be sure, at not seeing the finish bet-
ween Lucy and Effie, for that would have been
rather fine, both being such lecherous devils, but
whispering to Chloe, « He seduced her! « we folio
wed him into the parlour.
Our young gallant began drinking the wine, glassy
after glass, very fast, and soon became exceedingl
troublesome and noisy ; insomuch that we were noS
— 39 —
sorry when at last he fell dead drunk under the
table.
It was now eleven o'clock, so, callii ^r old Betty
to help us, we lifted my gentleman up and put him
to bed, having too much regard for him to let him
return to his chambers in such a state.
As Chloe and I were going up to bed, we had a
mind to see how matters were going on in Effies
room ; we peeped in, but all was dark. She had
evidently gone to bed.
Now Chloe and I slept together, and what with
the fucking we had had in the early part of the eve-
ning and the scene we had witnessed between Effie
and Lucy, the devil would have it that when we
came to lay down in bed, we were both tormented
with such an irresistible itching in a certain part,
as rendered sleep altogether out of the question.
" What shall we do ? » said Chloe, « shall we
frig, or shall we gamahuche ? »
// Oh, I'm for the gamahuche, « said I.
« With all my heart, « said Chloe.
Then she jumped out of bed and lighted two wax
candles, and placed them on the commode, that we
might see as well as feel each other's beauties; and
coming back to me, the dear girl stooped and gave
me a full view of her large and beautiful bum, her
cunny, and all etceteras, upon which I soon began
to feed, while she, rolling heij tongue first down
one side of my slit and then down the other, then
on the clitoris, then right inside, gave me joy inex-
pressible.
After exhausting ourselves with this game for
nearly an hour, we at length put out the candles
and fell asleep in each others arms.
40 —
Some evenings after, havingnothing particular to
do, 1 thought I would visit the other rooms, and II
now sit d6wn to conclude my letter with a faithful
account of the scenes I witnessed, which I hope will
edify your ladyship as much as they pleased me.
In
Room VII.
I beheld a stout j fat man, of about sixty five years
of age; and standing at a respectful distance I
observed the owner of the room, Mary Crocket, a
pretty lively girl of fifteen.
Her person presented nothing remarkable, it was
simply a plump compact, little body, well shaped
enough considering her youth. But her beauty was
just of that style seen every day.
I say she stood at a respectful distance, for this
man, who by his dress was a parson, was armed
with a most formidable cart whip, and gave her a tre-
mendous lash whenever she came within his reach.
But here I must digress a little, to acquaint your
ladyship more particularly with this reverend
gentleman.
I don't know much about such people myself, but
one of my gentlemen gave me his history, and from!
it I gathered that his reverence was formerly what is|
called a port wine parson — a pluralist — holding
three rich livings; very fond of hunting," very fond
of a pretty wench, when he could get one, and very
fond of the bottle; but growing old, and being struck
with paralysis in his lower limbs, he turned vastly ;
devout, and, not satisfied with mortifying the flesh
in his own proper person, he hypocritically preten-
ded thas it behoved him to mortify the flesh of»loose
- - vy t thje j
— 41 —
women « also, but as he could not indulge in this
penchant without paying for it, the hoary old wretch
handed me ten guineas every week for permission
to whip my girls all round every Wednesday eve-
ning (1).
As he could not stand on his legs, he had himself
conveyed to Leicester Fields in a sedan chair. He
was then lifted on a chair hung on castors, and so
wheeled from room to room. He had already visi-
ted six of them, and was now arrived at the seventh.
"What was very remarkable - or, rather, what
was not at all so — he would have every girl strip-
ped of her a cauls, her hoods, her wimples, her
round tires like the moon, her rings, her jewels, and
other vanities n as he called them — that is to say,
they were to be quite naked, with hair flowing
down their backs.
a Now, young harlot, « he was saying when I
peeped in, «will you bring me that glass of wine
I have twice asked you for ? »
u Yes, an' it please ye, sir, if you'll promise not
to hit me. »
« Well,' then, woman of perdition, I will not hit
thee if thou'rt quick. » The girl made as much haste
as possible, and advanced timidly. He waited till
she had placed the glass on the table, and as she re-
turned he gave three awful cuts, causing the long
lash of the whip to wrap right round her, and the
knots striking her delicate thighs', fetched up a
weal in an instant.
« Oh, sir! cried, the girl, blubbering; » you sai
you would not do it! »
(4) A fact.
— 42 —
« I said I would not smite you, harlot, if you were
quick; but, inasmuch as you were slow, I smote
thee. Very good it is for you to be chastised.
Behold, I act to you as the Lord acteth, for we
read that he chasteneth those whom he loveth.
Ahem! >
The girl made no reply, but pouting out her lips, -
seemed annoyed, and no wonder.
» Come hither, child, » cried the wretch, trying
to move his chair towards her, and shaking his whip
with impotent rage. » Ugh, ugh, L should like to get
at thee now. Yd soon flog that dainty skin of yours, i
I would, ye young hussy! You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, a young girl like you, to give yourself
up to fornication and all uncleanness! Ugh —ugh!«
Here he was seized with a fit of coughing which
lasted some time; at length, wanting to spit, he
,t.old her to bring the chamber pot.
The girl supposing his cough had exhausted him, |
obeyed at once; but she had reckoned without her
host, as the saying is, for the old man, seizing her .
by the arm, commenced letting into her posteriors
with the but end of the whip, till she was quite black '
and blue.
The girl screamed lustily, and at length, losing all
patience, snatched the whip out of his hand, and
gave him such a hearty thump on the noddle that
the wretch roared with pain.
« There ! cried Mary, in a rage, » that will teach
you, you nasty old canting hypocritical son of
bitch, to treat poor girls in this way, you sodomi
tical, psalm singing old bugger. You must be
sodomite, or you would not hate women as you do!
you damned old wretch! »
wUJ^-lli. thfc * m^m^,^.. ■ - .w:,:^- ...
— 43 —
The old fellow was furious, and foamed at the
mouth.
a Very well, my girl, very well, « said he;
ji wait till I tell your mistress, that's all, and I'll have
you turned into the street. I will see if a person
of my dignity is to be treated in this way! » and
he forced his shovel hat over his eyes, fiercely.
At the sound of those dreadful words, and the
reflection of what a fate she would have if turned
into the streets now the winter had fairly set in, the
rage of poor Mary evaporated, and bursting into
tears, she humbly implored him not to be so cruel.
« Well then, « said he, rubbing his pate, 011
which he felt a great bump as big as a walnut, «
kneel down before me on all fours, and let me lash
you well, and then I will pardon the offence. >
The wretched girl saw she must obey. Then he
lashed her till quite out of breath, cutting her bet-
ween the legs and over the bosom in a barbarous
manner.
I could bear this sight no longer, so stepping into
the room, I snatched the whip out of his hand, and
calling him all the old villains in the world, bun-
dled him out of the house.
I never saw the old rascal again, for he died
soon after ; but as he had the Sacrament adminis-
tered to him, and went off in the odour of sanctity,
he is doubtless now a saint in heaven !
It was quite refreshing, after witnessing this
scene, to turn to that in
Room VIII
For here a dashing young captain of the Guards,
— 44 —
in«his embroidered red coat, was: very jolly over
bottle of wine with the lovely Selina Marsham, a find
woman of twenty five.
I continued watching my young son of Mars
about twenty minutes, during which he accomplis
hed two hearty fucks, and then I adjourned to thl
next.
Room IX.
Here they were at high romps. A gentleman,
whose quality certainly could not be discovered by
his dress, for he had doffed all his clothes, was
standing blindfolded in the middle of the room, and
laughing, running, jumping round him, using all
sorts of liberties, were some seven or eight little
girls, all undressed, whose ages ranged from seven
to twelve.
Now and then one more bold than the rest,
would advance and tug at his great stiff cock, and
then run off with a little scream. Then he would
dash after her, upsetting chairs, tables, and all
that came in his way, while some of the children
would fall down, others would tumble on them, and
then there they lay in a heap, all higgle-de-pit-
gledy, little fat bums, thighs, cunnies, all were
jumbled up together.
Blind man was a long time before he could catch
one, but at last he succeeded. She was a beautiful
little, fair creature, who had kept as much in th
rear as she could during the game, and was muc®
more modest than the others.
When caught, she made great efforts to escape
but, finding she could not, she remained gentle &
a lamb.
... w<ua. lxi. thje ......
— 45 —
■ This girl was a new comer, and was about twelve
years of age. No hair yet graced her pouting slit,
and her tiny breasts were only just beginning to
show themselves. The gentleman pulled off theJ
bandage, and seemed rather pleased with his cap-
ture. * lie caught her up in his arms, and after kis-
^ .sing every part of her, laid her on the bed, and be-
" gan to explore her maidenhead.
a Untouched, by Jove! » cried he, and then
commenced to gamahuche her, the other girls
surrounding him, and gamahuching him and ma-
nipulating.
This over, his eyes were again bandaged, and the
game resumed- .
In this manner he got a gamahuche three times
in half an hour, the last girl he caught being a mere
- baby of seven years. It was too bad, I know, but
these things must be submitted to, if you would have
a Bagnio to pay. Tastes must be gratified, and in-
deed, these sort of customers pay best of all. I
received ten guineas for each gamahuche, and five
for the romp. Thirty five guineas from one room
ii^ a single evening, was not bad work, though not
equal to Lucy's haul from Monseigneur le Due.
I now went to
Room X.
And here was my largest stake of all, for the per-
sonage who had hired it was a man of the first qua-
| lity, and had promised, if the virgin I had secured
. for him gave satisfaction, that he would present me
f with five hundred guineas. She was a simple
I country girl, who had arrived only the day before
[ from the depths of Hampshire, and I took particular
46
care that none of the girls should get speech of her
till after the Duke's visit.
He was conversing very gently with her when I
peeped into the room, and initiating her in a very
artful manner. As yet he had got no further than
her bosom, off which he had taken the handker-
chief, and was smoothing and kissing the firm white
bubbies, which exactly formed in the finest of nature's
moulds, stood bolt upright, as if wooing his caress.
But the girl blushed deeply, and continued saying,
« Ha done, sir! doantee, doantee. My missus 'ull
come otherwhile, » and other rustic expressions.
But the Duke coaxed her, put her on his lap, made
her have a glass of wine, and at 1 ast, spite of her
struggles, got his hand up her clothes, and between
her legs. Then he let out his magic wand, and
put it in her hand. She started as if a viper had
bit her, but he persevered. He told her that he
was resolved to have her that night; that it was
no use her crying out, as no one would come, and
wound up by saying, that if she would let him
have his will of her, he would make her a great
lady, put her in a grand house with lots of fine
clothes, etc. The usual tale, you know, my lady.
And so, at length, without any noise, but merely
by the force of eloquence and patience, he got her
on to the bed.
Then, by degrees, he removed her clothes, she
defending herself however pretty stoutly, but with
little success, for in five minutes he had reduced
her to her skin, that is, stripped off her smock and
beheld her quite naked. She was a beautiful
maid, sure enough, justly shaped, and quite without
any spot or blemish. After he had kissed and
wOJ-iy XV thje
— 47 —
: caressed her beauties for some time, he pressed
upon her another glass of wine, and hobnobbing
with her, drank off a bumper himself. This second
glass of wine got a little into her head, and wore
• off a trifle of her modesty, so that when he urged
her to kneel on the foot of the bed, she made but
a faint resistance. Then the Dake produced a
purse, and showered out on the bed fifteen or twenty
new golden guineas.
a Oh my! cried the girl.
« All for you, my dear, > « said he. « All for you,
if youTl only let me have you. »
The country girl cast a greedy look at the money,
and then glanced over her shoulder at the tempter,
and seeing such a sleek, smiling, embroidered
r.-, gentleman, and not the devil, as she almost fancied
| she should, she yielded a silent assent by sweeping
j up the gold with her hands.
In doing this, she leant a little more forwards,
; and thus unconsciously offered to his grace and
myself an enchanting view of her most hidden
'.charms.
Imagine, my dear madam, a superb back and
shoulders of the most ivory whiteness, terminating
in a singularly small waist, then imagine the spring
i out from thence of a noble pair of hips, and the
! plumpest, whitest, and finest shaped posteriors
in the world, delicately relieved by two deep
dimples. These ravishing hills, owing to her po-
sition, were slightly opened, displaying all the lus-
sious attractions of the enchanting valley between
! them. A pair of plump tight, and rosy lips, clo-
| sely compressed together, was all she had to show
j in the shape of a cunny, if I except a soft down
which shaded the upper mons. At some distance
behind this delicious little mouth of Venus, I beheld
the other tiny aperture, pursed up in voluptuous
rosy wrinkles, highly suggestive of great contrac-
tive power, should the duke's fancy run so far back
into her valley of delight.
At present however, all he seemed to think of
of was her virginity, so opening a little box of cold
cream, he carefully anointed his may-pole, and
also her lovely cleft. And then catching her by the
hips, he charged in good style, but the citadel was
too tight to admit the battering ram at the first, or
even the second push. Besides, the girl began to
get frightened, and to struggle. But the dukes
blood was up, and he would not now be trifled
with. At length he got in about an inch, but
there he stuck, so straight was the passage. But
pursuing his advantage, and steadily pressing upon
her, spite of her cries and struggles, with eight or
ten vigorous pushes, he ravished away the last
vestige of her maidenhead; at the same time dis-
charging into her a shower of love's dew which,
on his drawing out, spurted all over the sheets,
mixed with virgin blood.
At the sight of the blood, his grace showed the
greatest satisfaction But while rejoicing over his
triumph, the girl had fainted with the pain, and
lay forward on her belly, perfectly powerless.
The duke therefore seized the opportunity of
exploring, and made an accurate examination of
the havoc he had caused in her little cunny, holding
one of the waxlights close to it, the better to see
he effects. This sight pretty soon brought his
grace up to the mark again, and at it he went, like
- 48 —
_ yy .UJ.1V
in tEJei^
49 —
a bull. The same pain which had caused her to faint
now roused her up again, and she began to bemoan
her fate most bitterly.
But his grace having had his will, had no mind
to console the blubbering wench any more; but he
tgave her a tremendous slap on the arse, and told
her a to. hold her infernal noise, and mind her
fucking//, pushing away at her with all his might.
The girl was struck dumb with astonishment at
this harshness, and could not utter a word, but only
whimpered and sobbed the more.
a Oh, very well, « cried the duke, « if you will
blubber, I will give you something to cry for, « and
withdrawing his great, red, stiff, steaming cock,
he drove at the other opening ; and before the girl
could prevent him, she had lost a second maiden-
head, which she never bargained for, and which
made her roar out murder, with all her might.
By and bye his grace came to a finish, and being
now quite satiated, he damned her for a slut for
making such a noise, and taking up his sword and
hat, departed.
I met him on the stairs.
a I hope the girl gave your grace satisfaction, «
said I.
a Why yes, damne ! « answered he, « she was a
true virgin, no doubt, and here's the money I pro-
mised you. a
He paused and then continued,
a But I should have enjoyed her a deuced deal
better if she had'nt blubbered all the while; tears
disfigure the finest face, and besides they bore one
dreadfully. Hand her over to a Mohawk or two,
once and away, my dear Phoebe. After they have
4
- 50 —
'tipped her the lion5 once or twice, or made her
'sweat', she will be more tractable. Yes, let her
have a Mohawk (1). Good night. »
And so saying, his grace stepped into his coach,
and was driven off. And now, my dear madam,
having given your good ladyship a sample of my
ten rooms, and our proceedings here, I propose to
send you some curious selections from the « corres-
pondence branch // of our business.
The copies of these letters will give you a much
better idea of the various leches of men than any-
thing I can say, and will also prove to your ladyship
that if the men are lewd, the women are sometimes
quite as salacious.
THE
BAGNIO CORRESPONDENCE.
FROM AUGUSTUS JAMES ESQ.
Madam,
1 shall be in town on Thursday, and propose to
pass the evening at your house. Be pleased to have
a supper and a girl ready for me at eight of the
clock. A young girl about fourteen suits me best, f
as I am not big hung. A girl with a nice c|ear |
(1) The Mohawks were a club of wild rakes, who performed
these « operations » on iheir victims For an account of them,
see Spectator, vol. Y, No 347, in which a very amusing ac-
skin, pretty plump, and not much hair on her
twat.
But though young , she must understand her
work, for I hate a slug. I don't mind ten or twenty
guineas for the night.
Yours, as you^please me,
A. James.
Feversham, Nov. 28th 0. S.
FROM SIR FELIX FUCKINGrTON, BART.
Mrs Phoebe,
This billet is to let you know that I shall visit-
your Bagnio tomorrow evening at nine. I shall want
one fine woman about twenty to fuck, and two 01.
three'little girls to play with ; mind and have them
all well washed, and their hair dressed by a good
coiffeur.
For the woman, I think I should prefer Effie Gor-~
don, she's such a spanker.
F, Fuckington.
November 30th, N. S.
FROM THE EARL OF CADLAND.
Madam,
Have the goodness to provide me a handsome,
healthy, clean young woman, about eighteen years
of age, on Friday evening next.
- 52 —
I do not require a maid, but something fresh and
agreable.
Your obedient, humble servant,
Cadland.
Newmarket, Monday Evening.
FROM THE EARL OF BOSTON.
The Earl of Boston presents his compliments to
Mrs Phoebe Kissagen, and will feel obliged by her
providing an entertainment for him on Monday
night, with a handsome supper. The Earl begs to
remind Mrs Kissagen that he does not fancy very
hairy or very big women; two or three witty, nice
looking girls, who understand the gamahuche, and
can sing good songs, will be quite satisfactory.
The expense is of no consequence.
To Mrs Phoebe Kissagen,
2, Leicester Fields.
Boston House, Decr 14th.
FROM SIR HARCOURT WARING, BART.
Madam,
Find me a nice little girl, about twelve years old,
by .Tuesday evening. She must be very fair, and
well made ; slender, but plump; one whose breasts
have grown a little would be preferred. She must
— vrUi.lv ul* thje
— 53 — t I
be up to the mark, and not too shy. The usual
cheque will be ready.
I am, Madam,
Your obedient, humble servant
H. Waring.
Foxcover Hall,Decr 16th.
FROM MONSEIGNEUR LE DUC DE BELL AIRE.
Madam,
Sail vous plait, I vill pay you another visit on
Tuesday night, ven I hope to find Mademoiselle Lucy
disengaged. Mais madame, tree hundred guineas
is too much to pay every time, so please to name
your price.
Accept, Madam, my most perfect consideration,
Le Due de Bellaire.
A Madam,
Madam Phoebe de Kissagen.
Decr 20th.
FROM HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE DUKE
OF YORK.
Have my room and girl ready on Wednesday.
York.
FROM Dr MOONEY.
My Dear Phgebe,
I have several little physiological experiments to
make, and shall require for the purpose, one full
— 54 — t I
grown girl and two or three little ones. After 1 have
finished, I shall have much pleasure in supping
with you and the pretly Chloe. Tomorrow evening
at ten.
Yours entirely,
F. Mooney.
Brook St, Thursday Evening.
FROM ADMIRAL LORD SODDINGTON.
Old Girl,
Ive just eOme off a cruise, and am hard up for a
fuck, so let that great randy wench Effie know Pm
going to bear down upon her, and give her a broad-
side.
You know I like to see a tight frigate well dressed
out in bunting; so run up her colours, and rig out
her topgallants, get a good supper aboard, and bear
a hand you lubber.
Your old tar,
soddington.
H. M. S. Snapdragon,
Spithead, Deer V7*K
FROM LORD HOMERTON.
Being vastly ennui here, I have resolved to come
up to town for a few days till Christmas, and should
like to amuse myself "'with two or three of your
ladies.
But they must be fresh, and not too forward; I
hate an impudent wench. Be good enough to see
that their smocks and persons are clean. You can
i.ts. ffi thje
— 55 —
bring them to my house in Cavendish Square tomor-
row evening at eight, and I shall be happy to see
you. You know my taste, so I need not say more.
Yours faithfully,
Homerton.
Crocket Hall, Dec* 19th.
FROM THE LADY EMILIA STANLEY.
My Dear Mrs Kissagen,
My husband has not been able to perform conju-
gal rites for this fortnight; so if you have among
your young gallants a fine lusty young fellow who
can serve my turn, pray put me in the way of en-
joying a nights pleasure, for I am parched with
thirst.
Pray write by return of post.
Your loving friend,
Emilia Stanley.
Hertford St, Mayfair.
FROM LADY POKINGHAM,
Madam,
Have the room ready on Tuesday, and the gent-
leman I spoke to you about will meet me there at
twelve, after the opera.
Your obedient, humble servant,
H. pokingham.
Mr* Phoebe Kissagen,
2. Leicester Fields.
— 56 — t I
From His Highness Rajah-un-Rum-fncham-jum-
jah Bahadoor.
If the pretty Bheebe Sahib who to me did give
too moch plesur ven I pass night, and do de nicee
fuckee busimess at your ous be at er ome, I sail to-
mor gome and seen heer, mam; so hab allde tings
reedee.
I too moch plenty mooney bringee.
FROM Mr HEZEKIAH BIRCHEM.
Dear Phcebe,
The spirit moveth me to go into one of thy hand-
maidens, and yet, I think I should prefer thy friend
Chloe, if thou wilt first stir up my evil, passions
with thy birch rod. Have thy cold cream ready
and anoint the dear harlot's delighful arsehole be-
fore we commence, as thou knowest the devil al-
ways tempts me that way.
Thou must also provide thyself with a dildoe,
not too large and well greased, so thou canst sodo-
mise me ; as I do Chloe, do thou unto me. Please,
my evil concupiscence and any money thou thinkest
fit shall be paid.
From thy friend,
H. Birchem.
Threadneedle St, City
22 of 12 month.
Now I think, my lady, I have given you a pretty
fair sample; and as this has been a most outrage-
iff* fix the
— 57 —
ously long letter, I will now make an end by remai-
ning, as in duty bound,
My Lady,
Your ladyship's most obedient
Humble servant to command,
Phcebe Kissagen.
Leicester Fields, Feby 13 tli.
t
LETTER V.
In which a curious narrative is given of the
adventures of a Lusus Nattiroe. a species of gay
Lothario very welcome to the ladies
FROM LADY LESBIA GOWER TO PHCEBE.
I am truly rejoiced, my dear Phoebe, to find that
you are settled so much to your satisfaction, and
shall soon pay you a visit. In the meantime I must
relate to you a most amusing adventure I have
had.
I was lately on a visit to that dear cousin of mine,
the pious Countess of Boston, who, I will tell you,
is quite a saint in her way, and idolized by all the
starched evangelical party.
No one is more prompt with their subscriptions to
missionary societies, or more frequently seen at
church than my Lady Boston. She is a patroness
of half a dozen associations for the administration of
ft
I
- 58 -
\
spiritual instruction to the poor, of Sunday schools,
and the like, and has frequent prayer meetings at
her house for the benefit of the godly. Among her
other foibles, this goodlady — who, by the bye, i'sa
blooming widow of thirty, and of a sanguine tem-
perament — has a peculiar sympathy for orphans,
that is provided the children are handsome and
pretty behaved.
Some three years ago, she adopted a little girl,
whose father, a poor halfpay officer, shot himself
in consequence of losing all his savings in the South
Sea Bubble, which sad event caused his wife to die
of a broken heart.
The little girl, then seven years old, is now ten, and
one of the most graceful, sweet little creatures you
ever saw in your life. She is being educated with
care by her ladyship, and is altogether a child of
great promise.
Lately she adopted an equally striking and beau-
tiful boy — a little fellow of twelve, or twelve and
a half years of age and I assure you they make a
vastly pretty couple.
Well my dear Phoebe, this little boy is the hero
of the story I am about to relate. I had not been
very long in the house when I observed that there
was a remarkably good understanding between these
children, and I detected glances and looks which
filled me with astonishment — glances full of tender-
ness and longing, loving looks, full of passion and
desire. Heavens! said I to myself, is it possible
that these very young creatures can know what love
is? brought up, too, as they are, in an atmosphere
of puritanism and starched grimace ! If so, truly
there is but one step from the spiritual to the carnal.
ruxsrTTZ the
- 59 -
It was amusing to see how the little creatures
turned up their eyes during prayers, and the gravity
with which they sang their hymns, and performed
the devotions required of them by Lady B, of whom,
by the way, they seemed to stand in considerable
awe.
I resolved to watch them narrowly, and if possi-
ble, see them alone when they thought no one was
in the way. A few days afterwards the chance
oecured.
At breakfast, Lady B. announced her intention
of going down to Hazeltown, a village some three
miles from Roundwood Park, and she asked me if I
would like to accompany her; but as it turned out
that she was only going to see and pray With some
poor cottagers who were ill, I declined, making an
excuse that I had promised to call on Sir William
and Lady Nettletbp at Headlands.
« Well then, my dear, « said my cousin, » you
shall have the pony chaise, for my coach is under
repair.
" But, a said I, « how will you get to Hazeltown
then? u
a Oh, a she replied, 3VI>3 Cantwell is to call for me
and carry me there in her coach, so do not be
uneasy on my account. I shall not take t^he chil-
dren to-day, for Mrs Cantwell does not like chil-
dren. //
This arrangement suited me exactly. Soon after
my cousin was gone I ordered the chaise.
While it was getting ready I thought I would go
and se^e what the children were about, and catching
a glimpse of them in the garden, I stole out, and
concealing myself as well as 1 could amidst the
shrubs and trees, approached at length within
earshot. They were seated hand in hand beneath
the wide spreading branches of a noble beech tree*
I listened.
a My darling Julia, « the boy was saying, » what
a lucky chance is this. We" shall have all the
morning to amuse ourselves. Aunty (they always
called my cousin aunty) going to Hazeltown, and
Lady Gower to see those odious old Nettletops.
a Capital! « cried Julia, and then throwing her
arms round his neck, « Oh, you sweetest, sweetest
boy, how happy we shall be ! //
a But, a said the boy thoughtfully, « where shall
we pass our morning? Not here, of course.We can
be seen from all the windows. »
« And not indoors either, with the chance of
being discovered by the servants, // added Julia.
a No, " said the boy, // HI tell you where it shall
be. You know that large old hollow oak in the glen
at the southern end of the park, where the under-
wood is so entangled, and where nobody ever goes
snice the earl died. I don't know why, but so it
is, and there we can enjoy ourselves in private, »
and he gave the little girl a loving kiss.
I had learnt all I wanted to know, and hastened
back to the house. The children seeing me get
into the chaise, ran up.
a Good bye for the present, my dears, « said I,
a do not get into mischief. I shall be back to dinner,
ta-ta! a and I shook my hand; the mettlesome po-
nies dashed rapidly down the avenue, and the chil-
dren, after watching the chaise till a winding in the
drive hid it from their view, turned into the house.
I still watched the entrance through the trees, but
lu the 4HMMM!
— 61 -
soon lost sight of it, and in another minute had past
sed the park gates. I drove myself, and had not
taken the groom with me, so that once out of the
demesne, I went direct for the point where 1 knew
they would soon arrive.
The country all round the park was very wild
well wooded, so that I had no difficulty in finding a
coppice wherein to conceal the pony chaise. I
turned off the road, and making the reins fast to the
branch of an oak, left the animals to graze, while I
examined the park palings for an opening through
which I could squeeze myself. At length I
to a spot where two or three of the planks nad been
torn down, and entering through the aperture, had
just time to conceal myself in a thick bush, when
my young lovers appeared. With their arms aroUnd
each other's waists, they approached the old oak,
and entering the hollow bark, seated themselves
side by side on the mossy turf, with which this na-
tural chamber was carpeted.
« This is bliss indeed ! « cried the boy,
one hand up Julia's clothes, he kissed her
mouth, and her neck. « Oh, happy houi
he unfastened his breeches, and behold, out sprang,
not the funny little thinfe i expected to see,
full grown, stiff, and erect prick of noble
tions.
This little fellow, this child of twelve, with his
innocent girlish face, had all tlie essential attributes
of the most stalwart manhood!
No sooner did Julia see this noble staff than she
jumped up, and caressing it with rapture,
length took it between her rosy lips. While he,
excited to the highest pitch of ecstacy, tossed
her clothes, and making her straddle over him, so
that he could "have a Ml view o£ all her charms,
gamahuched her likewise.
I never saw in all my life but one ^irl who could
compare with this pretty creature imexquisite con-
tour and symmetry, and that was fife little Chloe.
Imagine, my dear Phoebe, a little firm, rosy dim- f.
pled bottom, meandering downwards into the plum-* I
pest and finest moulded thighs in the$voi?ld. Ima-
gine a pouting, rosy, hairless cunny, mo$t delicious
ancle and tiny foot! and you may form jsome very
slight notion of the perfections of the sweet girl.
They continued to divert themselves in this
manner for at least a quarter of an hour; but at
length Evelyn, for that was the name of the ^boy,
declared he could stand it no longer, and rising up,
he laid the little dear on Her back, and assisted
by her beautiful hands, begag. to force - his great
cock into its rosy nest. And this, to thy surprise,
was no such very difficult fnatter, the opening, as
it appeared, had been well stretched by the same
rampant champion before, and now well lubricated,
not only by her spendings, but by saliva from his
lascivious mouth — welcomed her old acquaint
tance, and seemed to suck him in until the whole
length of that enormous yard disappeared in her
body.
I now had a complete back fiew of his person.
The lovely boy's breeches were down to his knees,
and his thighs and charming white hemi-spheres
were fully presented to my gaze. He was formed
perfectly like a young girl in every respect, no
harsh muscular development was visiblenothing
but smooth, shining, white flesh, met the view.
— 63 —
A waist of singular smallness and roundness, bul-
ging hips and posteriors which any woman might
1 envy. And then the two dimples on either side of
the loins, how deep they were! How luscious! Perfect
^upid's honey-cups! And then his thighs, how
i 'rounded, mottled with Health and youth; how glo-
j wing ! how altogether delectable!
1 No frowsy hair disfigured the valley between
j; those white hills, those globes of snow ! Nor was
I there a vestige of it on his mons in front. With the
(• exception of the extraordinary development of his
t prick, he bore in every part of him the delicate
j |i softness of a child.
f Strange freak of nature to grant him this pre-
| coicity!
'Nothing could be more sublime than their fuce
Jf* king; now fast and furious, fainter now and slow;
T while sighs welled up from the heart's depths, and
I; tears of joy gushed from the fringed lids, of their
j beauteous eyes, while amorous pinches, touches,
)M| bites, and slapping, diversified the joys of delirious
Jl kn/e. Asforme, I must candidly confessthat, wrought
J up to frenzy by the scene, I stole my hand to a cer-
gjJ* tain place, and endeavoured to allay my desires as
best I could. At length, amidst a thousand expres-
sions of rapture, fondness, and unbounded love, they
died away in bliss.
>|But he never drew out; in five minutes the whole
j scehe was enacted over again, and4his time lasted
| rather longer. At length, when it was'over, these
I young creatures sat down side by side, their arms
I around each others necks. Then it was that I
I made another .discovery, which filled me with almost
I as much astonishment as the first. That "weapon,
~ 64 —
which when erect was of such extraordinarily fine
proportions, in its quiescent state shrank up into
the ordinary size of any other little boys cock. Nor
was there any wrinkling of the skin. It was a neat,
compact little capsicum, with the foreskin well
drawn over it's saucy head. So that unless excited,
no person, not even my experienced cousin Lady B,
who, as you know, has had her gay days, could
possibly imagine or believe of what that innocent
little affair was capable.
While I was pondering all these things in my
mind, the saucy Julia took it in her hand, and lo !
presto ! out it shot like a snail from his shell; or
rather, to give you a noble simile, .like a roaring
lion from his lair; and, like Lord Lovel's briar, it
grew, and it grew, till it could grow no higher.
Bang ! bang! up it bounced against his smooth
white belly, and lo ! the little man was again ready
for action.
He perfectly understood his business, the sly
rogue, for making her kneel up, he now had her en
levrette, spinning out-his pleasure, ever and anon
stopping for awhile, then going on again.
He was so long, indeed, that I looked at my watch,
and seeing it was near turned of twelve o'clock,
I crept from my hiding place, and regaining the
pony chaise, I turned it into the road, and handling
the whip with vigour, in twenty minutes I found
myself at the Nettletop's mansion.
Most luckily, they were gone out, so leaving a
card, I drove off at speed until within a mile of
Roundwood Park, when I allowed the ponies to
breathe and approached the gates at a leisurely
pace.
As I drove up the avenue, I gazed up at fhe
house with curious eyes, wondering if my young
culprits would come out to meet me.
« Oh, there they are, I declare,« I exclaimed, as
1 saw them advance under the portico with the
most perfect sang froid in the world, looking as
innocent and lovely as two angels.
Sweet creatures! dear intriguing lambs! who
would not have admired such duplicity F I must
confess they rose immeasurably in my estimation.
a I must enjoy that boy; I must have that girl to
gamahuche me! « I murmured to myself, as I drove
over the last hundred yards of gravel. And you
know, Phebe,. that when I make a resolution, I
never fail to keep it. The ponies were covered
with sweat, and John, who held their heads while
I alighted, looked rather glum at the work I had
made for him.
h Your ponies do not have enough exercise,
John, a said I, « see what a foam they are in with a
short drive. Give them more work, man! «
a Well, my lady, « said John, ruefully,«they are
mucked about a bit, that's sarten ; but ladies be so
mighty heavy with the whip. «
// Well, well, John, never mind, « said I, lau-
ghing ; a here, take this crown and drink my
health. «
The crown smoothed down the ruffled bristles of
hqnest John, and jumping into the chaise, he drove
off to the stables.
Now it chanced that the bed room I occupied was
next to that in which reposed the beauteous Julia
— the fireplace of my apartment backing the fire-
place of hers. The architect of the house being,
— 66 — t I
good worthy man, of an economical turn, had con-
trived in the double recess — that is to say, the
recess on the left hand side, formed by my fireplace
and the counterpart on hers — a bath room; ingress
to which was given by a door in my chamber, and
a corresponding door in her's with bolts inside.
Thus, this one bath room could be used by the
tenant of either room, only if both chambers had
occupants, it was necessary that they should either
bathe together, or agree to take the bath at different
times. This bath room was lighted by a window
placed rather high up.
Having made up my mind how to act, and of
course never breathing a word to Lady B. on her
return home of what I had seen, I was on the watch
early the next morning, listening for the splashing
which announced that little Julia was performing
her ablutions. About seven of the clock I heard the
bath room door on her side open gently, and soon
the splashing began. I crept out of bed, and stealing
to the opposite door, tried to open it. The little
puss had made all fast.
" Undo the bolt, Julia, my love, « said I, in a
subdued voice; // I am going out -early this mor-
ning and cannot wait to take my bath at the usual
hour, so let me come and share it with you. «
» Y-e-yes, my lady! I. — I — I will open the door
directly, « ejaculated Julia from within, and appa-
rently in much alarm and confusion. I waited and
listened ; the window, by the sound, was opened,
then I heard a scrambling noise in the grape vine
on the wall, and peeping out through my window
blinds, I was just in time to see Master Evelyn lan-
ded after his perilous descent. The bolt began to
- 67 -
move, and I sprang back to the bath room door.
It opened, and Julia stood before me, her middle
wrapped round with her chemise.
a I did not like to come till I had put something
round me, « said the innocent (?), blushing prodi-
giously. // You know, my dear Lady Gower, I have
not known you long, and I felt ashamed that you
should see me quite naked. »
a Silly child! « I exclaimed, laughing; » what is
there so terrible in me, one of your own sex, that
you should feel ashamed F «
She hung down her head.
a Look, a said I, « I am not ashamed, « and I
drew my night gown over my head. As I did so
I became aware that she regarded with astonish-
ment the curly ornament which sprouted on my
mons veneris. She could not take he* eyes off it.
a Ah, ha! I see you are surprised at these curls;«
said I, playfully patting her cheek; « when you
are a woman, you will have the same ornament,
my dear. «
a You don't say so, my lady ? u
« Oh, but it is true. «
a How very odd! «
u Not at all; 'tis you who are odd to doubt it. «
u Really ! //
a It is a fact. »
By this time I had laid myself down in the water,
and with gentle force had pulled off the chemise of
the little girl. After caressing her for some time,
I said.
" Do you know, my love, yon are a very beauti-
ful little creature F Ah ! you will make the men's
hearts ache some day. »
— 68 — t I
She opened wide her beautiful eyes, and looked
at me with a most charming affectation of innocence
and wonder — as if she could not possibly unders-
tand what I meant.
n Come, come, Julia, « I exclaimed, as having
got out of the bath we were rubbing each other
down with the towels, » do not think to deceive
me, you know what love is very well, for all the de-1
mure looks you put on, and young as you are. »
" My lady! « ejaculated Julia, turning as pale as 1
death.
" You are deeply in love with that boy, Evelyn. »
" Madam! //
» Oh, I know all about it, now tell me if I go J
wrong, but listen; yesterday you passed upwards
of two hours with him in the hollow oak. He embra- j
ced you as ardent lovers only know how, three j
times. He is a precocious boy, and has all the attri- j
butes of manhood. Am I correct, my dear? is this
not all true ? »
Julia, pale as a statue, eyed me from head to i
foot with an expression of the utmost terror.
a Moreover, a I went on, « your lover has been •
with you this morning, perhaps was with you all
night, and escaped by the window when I tried the .
bath room door; is it not so ? »
The poor child sank on her knees.
» Is not all this true ? » I repeated.
# u Ah ! yes, yes; it is true, dear Lady Gower, how
you could find it out I cannot tell; but oh, you will
not be so cruel as to tell my lady! »
a Nonsense, my dear child, « I cried, laughing,
« do not suppose I am such a fool as to do that; but
then, as I know your secret, you must do something
to oblige me. «
— 69 — t I
// Anything, dear Lady Gower, everything that is
in my power I will do; you have only to command. «
// First of all, then, my little pet, come and give
.me a kiss. « Sh£ sprang into my arms, naked as
we were, and we sat down on the bed. «
u Ah ! my dear Julia, I cannot express to you how
delighted I was with the oak scene. Your lover is
indeed a fine iellow. Heigh ho ! I wish I had such
a one. »
u You, my lady? «
u Yes, I myself. «' •"
a Dr persons of quality then indulge in intri-
gues ? "
a Indeed they do, my dear ; and are as fond of the
thing as other people. »
a Really ! I had no idea of it. «
a To prove to you that they are, I will show you
how women play together. «
I had all this time been playing with her tiny
pointed breasts, and smoothing her polished limbs
and bottom. I now slipped my finger into her pou-
ting cunny, and putting her hand upon my brush,
I thrust my tongue into her mouth, and entwined
my limbs around her girlish figure. She looked
very much surprised, but seemed intuitively to fall
into my wishes; first she began to comb the dark
hair on my mons veneris with her fingers, then her
hand slid further down, she grasped and squeezed the
lips, then, after exploring all round, she finished by
thrusting up her finger, and frigging me in good
earnest. Meanwhile, I was also manipulating her,
and with such success, that she soon began to
spend. Then I threw myself back on the bed, and
making her straddle over me in a reverse position, I
— 70 — t I
gamahuched her with fury, while she performed the !
same delicious office for me. After we had thus ]
kissed, frigged, gamahuched, and played for near >
an hour, we proceeded to dress ourselves.
w Now, my dear child,« said I, « mind you are to
look upon me as a friend and ally. Only there is '
one condition 1 must stipulate for—you must share!
Evelyn with me. But you need not say anything to 1
him at present, 1 wish to have him in my own!
way. a
Poor little Julia did not appear to relish this part,
of the stipulation very much. She saw before her a|
beautiful woman in the prime of life, and no doubtVj
well skilled in the art of pleasing, and her poor!
little heart fluttered lest I should alienate her lover
from her less ripe charms. I had, however, no in-|
tention of doing this.
The next day I took little Evelyn out for a walk ]
with me. Whenever we came to a stile, I took care®
to let him have a good peep at my legs, while ap-i
pearing most careful to conceal them. I saw his J
eyes flash each time he caught a glimpse, and somejl
ting in his breeches bulged out enormously.
Having reached a very retired, lonely, rustic dell I
and seated myself on the grass, « Oh, dear, how hot j
I am ! « said I, fanning myself, and pretending to j
put down my clothes, but in reality so arranging!
them as I drew up my knees, that the boy could see
my thighs and all I had good between them. |
u Why, Evey dear, how silly of you to stuff such
great apples into your breeches pockets (and I laid
my hand on the place); you will spoil the set of
them, a
Evelyn blushed up to his eyes.
— 71 — t I
a Come, give me one of your apples, or pears, or
whatever they are, for I am thirsty, » and before
he could prevent me, I thrust my hand into his
pocket, a Oh, dear,» said I, « it is empty; let me
feel the other side. »
But Evelyn declared he had nothing in the other
pocket either, and that, as for the bunch., it was
nothing but his shirt, which had got twisted up.
Nay, said I, laughing, u if that is all IT1 soon
make it comfortable for you. //
And opening his flap before he could prevent me,
I had hold of his essentials in an instant.
a All rucked up, is'nt it, dear ? « said I, frigging
and feeling his noble prick, and casting upon him
the most killing glances, full of desire.
u You sly little rogue you ! Why, you are quite a
man, I declare. »
The boy looked shy and awkward, and blushing
furiously, said never a word.
a Oh, you darling boy, 1 must have you, that I
must ! « I exclaimed, covering him with kisses,
which he quickly returned ; then opening wide my
thighs, I drew him towards me. His noble steed
entered the portal, and joy unutterable took posses-
sion of my frame. I threw first one leg, then the
other, across his loins. 1 smacked his beauteous
bottom, 1 tickled and frigged it, I licked his face,
and put my tongue in his mouth; I played with his
balls, I hugged him, I bounded, I was mad with
delight.
As for the boy, he made much the same demons-
trations. My experienced fucking wa£ something
quite new to him. He declared 1 drew his cock
out quite another inch.
When all was over, I coolly asked him which
was the best playfellow at that game, Julia or
myself ? »
The boy started, and turned very pale.
What ! — what do you know about Julia ? « he
asked.
I repeated to him all I had told his little swee-
theart.
" But how can you know all that, Lady Gower,
who told you ? «
a Oh, nobody told me. »
a Then how could you find it out ? »
a Pardieu ! I knew it. »
a It is very extraordinary, « said the boy.
a Not at all; I saw you both myself. »
« You, my lady ! u
a I myself. I was hid in that dense copse near
the tree, and saw everything. «
« Then you never went to the Nettletops after
all? «
// Oh, but I did, though. »
a But you could not be in two places at once..'/
a Go to, silly boy! said I, laughing and kissing
him; // you need not mind me ; I shall never tell;
and besides I shall be pleased to bring you and Julia
together, and if you please you shall meet every
night in my room, and we will all three play
together. I know your aunty does not let you
have any wine, or fruit, or nice things; come and
see me at night, and you shall have as much as you
please—you arid Julia. »
« Oh, that will be capital ! » cried the boy, flinging
his arms around me, and kissing me with rapture.
He would have embraced me again, but fearing
some one might come, I rose from the grass, and
promising him as much bliss as he had strength to
enjoy, I took his hand, and we returned to the house.
I cannot express to you, my dear Phoebe, how
impatient I was for night; for none of the gallants
of former days, not even poor old Sir Charles himself,
had ever given me half the pleasure I had experien-
ced with this lad.
It was arranged that he should come through the
bath room window, instead of by the door, for his
bed chamber being situated in another wing of the
mansion, would have obliged him to traverse too
many corridors and staircases to be quite prudent
in a house so full of prying domestics.
The children always went to bed at nine, and at
ten I also took my chamber candle.
I had not been five minutes in my room, when
two gentle taps at the bath room door apprised me
that my little friends were waiting; so, first having
admitted them, I made haste to throw off my
clothes, while they regaled themselves on the wine
and fruit.
" Now, my dears, // said I, as I fastened the door,
« let us arrange our programme ; but first let me
ask you both, have you locked your chamberdoors,
to prevent any one discovering you are not in your
rooms ?
They both replied in the affirmative, and added
that they also had got into their beds, to make it
appear as if they had been slept in.
a That is very well, « said I, « now for the pro-
gramme. a
Scene I.
+ « Having stripped yourselves quite naked, you,
~ ——■— ■■
— 74 —
Julia, will lie on the bed, while you, Evelyn, will
fuck her in that position. I shall sit down in this
arm chair, to see the performance. «
Scene II.
Julia will kneel upon all fours on the bed; I shall
kneel behind her and frig her with my clitoris,
while Evelyn kneels behind and fucks me.
Scene III.
After sponging ourselves, we shall commence the
gamahuche in this fashion. I will extend myself
on the bed, Evelyn will straddle over me, presenting
his posterior charms, and you, Julia, will also get
over me a litle lower down and gamahuche me,
while Evelyn does the same for you.
Scene IV.
• We will all get into bed together, and frig, toy
and play till we are sleepy, when you will both say
good night, and return to your rooms.
This being the programme, we at once commen-
ced. Julia, extended on her back, spread out her
lovely limbs, displaying to advantage all her front
beauties; Evelyn mounted; and was into her in a
trice ; while I, seated in the elbow chair, with a
foot on either corner of the bed, surveyed the enchan-
ting prospect.
I had the most distinct view of all the most secret
beauties of the lovely boy, and watched with,
delight, his great wiry, red-headed staff, now drawn
nearly out of little Julia's rosy, budding cunny,
now thrust home again. At every thrust, those
white globes of "his trembled with their own volup-
— 75 — t I
tuous plumpness, and his noble balls struck her
pretty little bottom with a loud smack at every
ppsh ; her legs, now raised high in air, now squee-
zed over his loins, kept excellent time to every
lunge, while kisses, love-bites, and every imagi-
nable titillation enhanced the lascivious beauty of
the scene.
While these lovers disported themselves, I amu-'
sed myself with my finger, toying with myself in
the most wanton manner; then I would lean for-
ward, and feel that great prick, as it glided in and
out; then I would play with his balls, and press my
great breasts against his bottom, all which appeared
to give him great pleasure. At last their climax
came, and ended scene one.
As soon as they had recovered themselves a
little, Julia jumped up, and giving me a loving kiss,
placed herself on all fours. My clitoris, which was
very stiff and thick as ,my thumb, protruded out at
least three inches. I got behind her, and grasping
those lovely hips, drove at the little rose bud, just
visible between the cheeks of her exquisitely'formed
little bum.
Evelyn now got behind me, and graspingmy bub-
bies, drove his stalwart cock into my cunny; at
every thrust he gave, his belly went bang, bang,
against my buttocks, causing them to quiver and
resound again with the strokes ; then he would lay
himself along my white back, and kiss my shoulders
with unction.
It was a most fucktious scene, and was prolonged
for some time, till Julia (whose cunny I had been
frigging with my hand) exclaimed,
« Ah-ah ! Pm coming ! Oh, delightful bliss 1 A-a-
ah! I-o-y! Oh-oh! ur-r-r! // and her head drooped
on the pillow, while I withdrew my hand, drenched
with the venusian dew.
Almost at the same moment Evelyn, who had been
thrusting with great rapidity, also began to give
tongue.
u Oh, my darling lady! U-r-r ! sweet creature,
this is bl-bl-i-ss, bliss in-deed ! Hah ! //
He spent into me a warm, comforting summer
shower.
My own climax just then meeting his, we spent
together, and I, falling forward on the beauteous
form of Julia, lay entranced — transported into the
seventh heaven! "Scintillations of light danced before
my eyes; I seemed to be in a beautiful garden,
abounding with the loveliest and most fragrant flo-
wers. Luscious fruit hung from the^trees on every
side, and living pricks with gorgeous wings flutte-
red from branch to branch,' ever and anon alighting
upon some lovely garden nymph, and sacrificing to
the god of love ; calling to mind the celebrated pic-
ture of the // Love Birds « by Kaulback.
This beautiful vision so entralled me that I lay
still for some minutes. It was an ecstaey — it was
peep into Paradise ! never shall I forget that bliss-
ful swoon. What a wonderful thing is sensual
delight!, All the graces and the gods preside
over it.
We now went into the bath and refreshed oursel-
ves, for the crowning joys of the gamahuche. How
rosy, how blooming we all looked when we emerged
from the cool fresh water!
We were all three melting with voluptuous sen-
sations, and 1 flung myself back on the bed, with an
abandon that was ready for anything.
Soon I felt the delicious flesh of the beauteous boy
over my face; his lovely cock, hard and white as an
ivory ruler, was before rne ; I seized on its carmine
head with my lips, I nestled my face between those
ravishing hills of animated snow. I opened wide
my thighs, and soon felt the nimble little tongue of
the sweet Julia, rolling round my clitoris and nym-
phse like lambent fire.
Nor was Evelyn idle, for taking her little cunny
in his mouth, he so sucked and gamahuched her,
that the sweet creature ground her teeth with the
pleasure, so that I really feared she would bite'me.
a But one cannot be perfectly happy in this world, »
as poor Sir Charles was wont to say, for in a short
quarter of an hour our climax came. Evelyn spent
in my mouth, Julia on his tongue, and I on hers ! —
and here ended scene the third.
We now got into bed, hugging and kissing each
other. I was playing with Evelyn's now reduced
and miniature prick, when suddenly a thought see-
med to strike him, and it grew rapidly in my hand.
« What is it, my dearest boy? " said I.
He placed his lips close to my ear, and whispered
that, a he should like to fuck my breasts. «
No sooner said than done. I squeezed them
together, he got over me, and inserting his yard
between them, commenced moving backwards and
forwards for some minutes, Julia tickling him be-
hind, when suddenly, jet! jet! out shot his juice
and deluged my neck all over !
This was the finish, and all of us feeling much
fatigued with our sports, Julia went to bed, Evelyn
— 78 — t I
made his exit by the window, and I, after a good
ablution, put on a clean bedgown and retired to
rest, just as the stable, clock chimed the hour of
midnight.
But this letter has been much too long for your
patience, my dear Phoebe, so adieu.
Your loving friend,
Lesbia.
LETTER VI.
In which the story of the Lusus Naturae is con-
cluded, showing how a Saint, being tempted
of the Devil (in the form of an Angel of Light]
became a sinner.
FROM LADY LESBIA GOWER TO PHCEBE.
Since I penned my last billet, my dear Phoebe, the
Devil has made a fine conversion in this place.
For more than a fortnight, I nightly entertained
my young visitors, no one in the hiouse, save us
three, having the slightest idea of what was
going on.
At length one unlucky morning, just as Master
Evelyn was coming down by the grape vine, about
five in the morning, who should see him but the
gardener. (I must tell you, though, that we had
passed a most delicious night, but had unfortunately
all fallen asleep in each other's arms, and did not
wake till that hour).
To resume. The gardener saw him. Now this
fellow — a green eyed, red-headed Scotchman, was
jealous of his fruit. Starched Presbyterian was writ-
ten in every line of his wizened visage, and he
was ilP-natured as he was ugly. « Very well,
Master Evelyn, « cried he, » very well, sir! I'll tak
care my leddy is made to ken o' your doings; get-
ting up at peep o'day to steal the grapes. A'weel!
A'weel ! its an awfu5 sinful wurld ! n
The boy only laughed at this tirade, and snap-
ping his fingers in the face of Mr Macdoodle, ran
away.
My cousin, Lady B, appeared awfully solemn
when she entered the breakfast room, and gravely
saluting Julia and myself, never noticed poor Eve-
lyn. She read prayers with a deeper conventional
I twang than usual, and as soon as they were over,
\ and the servants retired, the storm burst forth.
a I am excessively annoyed and displeased with
■ you, Evelyn, « the good lady began ; « I hoped that
;; the deeply religious training you had undergone in
. this house, would have produced better fruits.
What! you, who I am bringing up to be a gentle-
; man, demean yourself by being a thief! Fie! I am
^ashamed of you. To get up at five in the morning
and like a stable boy, to climb my grape vine, at
the peril of your life, to steal my grapes ! Naughty,
naughty boy '. What do you think, sir, will become
^f your soul ? There ! // continued my cousin, get-
.ng herself up, « never look at me in that smiling
lanner. 1 will give you something to laugh for, I
promise you ! « i
Here 1 ventured to intercede for njiy favorite.
I told her he was young, that after all, it was a
boy's frolic, and that it was more for th!|e fun of the
-80 —
thing than for the grapes, as they were not near
ripe yet.
But all would not do; he must be flogged, she
said, and that it might be well done, she would do
it herself.
The meal over, she led the poor boy to a room at
the top of the house, and seeing that I and Julia
were about to accompany her, she stopped us.
a As for you, Julia, I am surprised that you should
think of coming. It would be highly improper for
a young lady of your age to see a naked boy, but
you, cousin, can help me to hold his legs, so do you
come if you please. «
As soon as we reached the attic, Lady B. made
Evelyn lean across an old table, and fastening his
hands to the legs of it, undid his breeches and pulled
them down to his ancles; then begging of me to
hold his legs fast, which I did with much regret, she
drew a formidable birch from a closet, and, after
another jobation on the heinousness of his offence,
commenced laying on without mercy.
At first the poor lad roared out most lustily, but
after the first dozen cuts he became quie<t, and tur-
ning his head round to me, on the opposite side
from where Lady B. was standing, I saw the rogue
was laughing. His innocent little cock began to j
swell, and soon stood ontin its noblest proportions.1
I saw my cousin glance at it, first with a look of
amazement, then of visible pleasure; she turned red
and pale by turns, then relaxed her blows, and
•finally stopped altogether.
« Thank you, cousin, « said she, « do not let me
detain you. longer, besides, I want to talk privately
tp this bacf boy. I shall be down stairs soon. «
. J ' A
. - A. ............... ., j
— 81 —
1 shut the door behind me and went down the
first flight of stairs with some noise, then slipping
off my shoes, I ran up again, taking two steps at a
time. When I peeped through the key-hole I ob-
served Lady B. had untied Evelyn's hands, and
was sitting in a chair with the boy in her lap ; one
arm was round his waist, while the other grasped
— could I believe my eyes — yes, grasped his stiff
cock!
» lam sorry, my dear boy, « she was saying, « I
am sorry I hit you so hard, but you will not do so
any more, will you ? « (Chafing his prick,)
" No aunty, indeed I won't, « answered the boy
demurely.
« And how long is it, my dear, since your little
thing took to swelling in this extraordinary man-
ner? a
a Ever since I was seven years old, « answered
j Evelyn; // a nursery maid my mother had used to
I sleep with me and play with it every night, and
Isoit began to grow, until it gets sometimes as big
\ as you see. »
* Extraordinary! « cried Lady B., trembling all
^over, a and what else used the naughty nursemaid
to do? m
n Why, she used to throw me on her belly, and
put it into the place between her legs. »
a And you liked that, I suppose ? u
« Oh, yes; very much indeed, « said the little
rogue, with an arch smile. I saw the saint was tha-
wing fast, and was exceedingly amused.
« Suppose I was to let you do that to me, « hoar-
sely whispered the salacious woman, squeezing her
legs together, « should you like it ?«
« 6
— 82 — t I
// Oh, dear aunty, of all things, » laughed the
boy.
u Well, then, so we will, my darling; but mind,
you must not tell. «
a I tell! oh, never ! never! «
Then my cousin drew up her clothes, raising her
knees and opening her thighs, showed me once more
that beautiful cunt, with its fringe of soft black hair,
and guiding him in, they were soon bounding and
heaving with all the fervour of love. Thrice did
she make him repeat the dose
3ere she was satia-
ted ; and then, and not till then, did she allow him
to fasten up his small clothes.
a Now Evelyn, « said she, you have only to be
prudent and cautions, and come and see me some-
times in my bed room at night, and your fortune's
made ; in future you shall do just as.you like. You
shall have a pony to ride and plenty of money, fruit,
wine, and anything you please. The horrid garde-
ner I will send away, and you shall be perfectly
happy. I thought, « said the frail woman, passing
her hand across her heated brow, « that these pas-
sions were extinguished in me for ever, but God's
will be done (!). I see I am only a sinner after all,
when I thought myself a saint! «
u All right, aunty, « and we shall go up to town,
and go to the opera, and the play, and I shall have
an embroidered suit, and plumed hat and sword,
shan't I, aunty ? «
« Bless the boy, how he does run on, » cried Lady
B., opening her eyes. « But, come, we must not
stop here any longer. One kiss. «
1 ran down stairs, and picking up my shoes, re-
reated to my room. Here I found Julia in tears and
— 83 — t I
very unhappy, but locking the door I quickly reas-
sured her, by relating all I had seen and heard, to
her inexpressible surprise.
a The fact is, my dear Julia, « said I laughing.
" I knew your aunty, as you may suppose, being
her cousin, many years ago, when she was quite
young, long before her late fit of piety seized her,
and I assure you, no girl ever relished an intrigue
more. I should think at least fifty gallants had her
at different times, prior to her marriage with the old
earl, whose title she now bears. But after her mar-
riage she became all at once very correct and pious.
But that which is bred in the blood cannot long be
kept down by the spirit. So the saint is become a
sinner again, as I have just seen and heard. »
» I only hope, « cried Julia, u that she won't en-
gross Evelyn all to herself. •>
" Oh, never fear, « I answered laughing, « 'tis a
lad of spirit, and having her in his power, he will
take care she does not baulk him in his other little
affairs of love, you may depend. »
« Then you think this is rather a fortunate occur-
rence ? a
a That I do, indeed, « said I. « But, my dear-
little girl, do pray gamahuche me a little, I am so
excited with what I have seen, that I can hardly
' endure myself. »
Just at the height of tittilation we heard a rap-
ping. Julia jumped off me and hid under the bed,
while I opened the door. It was Evelyn, radiant
fwath joy. A triumphant fire shot from his beautiful
eyes, and he shook back his clustering chesnut
hair like a conqueror.
h I congratulate you, Evelyn, » said I.
— 84 —
* How ! you congratulate me ? «
a Ma foi! yes. You played your part to perfec-
tion. a
a Played my part ! » said the cunning fox,
u what? how? I dont understand. «
a The deuce! the boy is fidelity itself, « and
I laughed heartily.
» Then the dence take me if I know what yotf 1
ladyship means. «
a Nonsense, Evelyn, I was looking through the
key-hole. «
a Whew! a exclaimed the young rascal, making a
droll face. >• You were peeping, Lady Gower/were
you? then I have done. «
The dear boy caught me in his arms; and bussed
me, while little Julia, looking rather jealous, put
up her pretty face for one also.
* My cousin, after this adventure, gradually retur-
ned to her old jovial life ; drawing off from her sanc-
tified friends one by one, she at length got rid of
them all. But it became evident to her that she
must also purge her house of all her « serious ser-
vants, a for there seemed a mutiny brewing, in
consequence of the altered state of things. No
prayers, or prayer meetings, but lots of fiddling,
fetes champetres, and frolic. I therefore proposed
to her to return my visit, by coming back with m^
to London.
" You know, my dear Thalia, » said I, * my
house in Cavendish square is large enough to hold
you all. I am like you, a widow, with no one to
control my actions, and we shall be free to enjoy
ourselves and live over a gam with these young
creatures, the voluptuous sort of life we both en-
— 85 —
joyed before matrimony cast over us the veil of star-
ched propriety. a
a But my dear Lesbia, how about my thirteen ser-
vants here ? //
n Well, if you take my advice, cousin, you will
shut this musty old place, with its clock towers,
gables, and gloomy mullioned windows, dreary cor-
ridors, etc.; shut it up, my dear Thalia; place old
Tohn and his wife in charge on board wages, pay up
the others, with a months wage over and above,
and send them about their business. »
«-How you do rattle on, Lesbia! I declare you
aro the same madcap you ever were. What you
• °y, however, is all vastly fine, but you forget I
have let my town house for a term of years, and
when my visit to you is over, where am I to go ?»
h Stuff! a said I, // visit over indeed ! Why of
course stay with me altogether, and we'll take the
children to the play, and to Ranelagh, we'll have
routs and balls, and be very merry and happy. »
a Oh, very well, dear, as you please, » said my
cousin.
So, my dear Phoebe, here we all are at my house
in Cavendish square.
Evelyn and Julia are charmed with the change.
spacious suites of apartments, furnished en
-.uuis XV, the sumptuous hangings, the marble
jiall and staircase, the splendid laced liveries of the
fell powdered lapqueys, and my sedan chair, lined
nth rose satin, to say nothing of my coach and six,
as almost turned their heads, besides the great
•rds and persons of quality who are calling here
ery day, to pay their respects.
But all this will not much interest you, my
Phoebe. You, who like best a good practical fuc-
king episode — have at you then.
Four chambers, each opening into the other by
means of a sliding panel, constitute our sleeping
apartments, and thus we can receive or visit each
other whenever we like, and yet the servants be )
perfectly ignorant of what is going on.
Thus, in one or other of these rooms, are enacted
frequently the most voluptuous scenes.
Sometimes we form the position called » the py-
ramid. a My cousin and I both kneel naked on the
foot of the bed; Julia mounts us with a knee upon
each of our backs, and a hand upon each of our
shoulders. Then Evelyn, standing naked on a
chair, describes a triangle, the apex whereof is
Julia's cunny, into which he pokes his prick for aw-
hile, then lowering it, gives Thalia a few thrusts,
and afterwards gives me the like satisfaction. This is
good fun, and the game of » one, two, three, « as
we call it, often lasts half an hour.
At other times we throw a dark green coverlid
over the bed, and all three, stark naked, lie thereon ,
in the most tempting attitudes. This in our allego- I
rical language, we call, // the garden, « the velvet]
coverlid is the lawn, and we are the flowers, while
Evelyn, in his character of « the bee » flies from one j
cunny to the other sipping with his tongue the|
sweets. « The garden » terminates with a regulajj
fucking and gamahuching match, in which all takflfB
part. j|H
At other times we divert ourselves with a mas|JHjl
querade, each person dressing in their own roomslH]
As soon as, by a preconcerted signal, we knoJHf
that all have finished their several toilets, we masl H
87
ourselves, put ont all the lights, and feel our way to
the room selected for that evening. So soon as all
are assembled, a light is brought, and fifty wax
candles soon shed their lustre on the scene. Let me
describe it to you.
First, there is a gay gallant attired in a rich
pompadour suit, diamond hilted sword, bag, and
'solitaire. His plumed hat under his arm, and his
jewelled hand on hip, the beau ideal of one of the
young bloods (1) on town. This gallant is myself.
Next there is an elderly stout gentleman attired
in black, with shovel hat, like a village parson.
This personage is my cousin, Lady B.
Close by is a blooming girl, with spotted gown,
scarlet boddice, short petticoats, hobnailed shoes,
broad brimmed straw hat, and chesnut curls down
her back. This lovely lass is Evelyn.
Next is a charming shepherd boy, with pipe and
crook, a la Watteau.
These were the dramatis personoe, all being
masked, and none of us knowing, except from con-
jecture, who the other was. Herein lay the sport.
To make the transformation the more complete,
each of the male characters was furnished with a
dildoe, the gallant and the parson with big ones, the
little shepherd boy with one of smaller dimensions,
so that the country girl stood a poor chance.
All being ready, the gallant made his approaches
to the country lass.
The parson tackled the shepherd, and the fail
commenced.
'!) Swell rakes
mm
— 88 — t I
h Pon honour, » began the gallant, » you are a
vastly pretty creature, my dear, and have the finest
face I ever saw, damme! How old are ye my
dear? »
« Seventeen years and a quarter come Martinmas,
an't please ye, sir, » replied the girl, dropping a
curtsey.
« And you've some pretty little bubs here, I'll
. warrant, » cried the gallant, thrusting his hand
into her breast.
n Oh, la! fie Sir ! doant, doant! "
u Yes, but I mast and will, damme! Don't think
I'in to be put off that way ! » and he thrust his hand
up her clothes.
u Oh lord ! marcy ! what are you arter ? Oh my !
now you've been and pulled all my clothes up be-
hind. Well, I never! what is that ? what is that ? *
for the gallant had displayed his prick (otherwise
dildoe) and was thrusting it in the rear of the
country girl.
While this scene was enacting between these
two, the parson became very loving with the shep-
herd boy, caressing him in a manner not at all
clerical. At length unbuttoning his flap, he let
out an enormous cock (dildoe again) and letting
down the boy's breeches, menaced him in a manner
truly alarming; then passing his hand in front, he
began to toy with a stiff little affair (i. e. dildoe
N° 3) as he shot in behind.
Meanwhile the country girl(Eyelyn) and the gal-
lant (myself), not finding much satisfaction in the
attitude they had taken up, shifted it. The country
lass lay on the bed, I dropped off dildoe, his long,
erect prick entered me, and a fuck long and rap-
turous ensued.
A double dildoe also enabled the parson (lady B),
and the shepherd boy (Julia) to gratify their mutual
inclinations, and yet maintain the delusion of the
masque.
At length, as the clock chimed twelve, the masks
were flung aside, and each recognised their com-
panion.
a Well, I declare, « exclaimed Evelyn, // 1 really
thought you were aunty. «
a And I, a cried Julia, » imagined that in his
reverence 1 had recognised dear Lady Gower! See
how one may be deceived. «
Then we sat down to a delicious collation, and
whiled away an hour at quadrille, or lasquenette;
both games you used to like, dear Phoebe.
Then we had a few songs, accompanied by the
lute, and after that to bed. Another amusement is
the bath, and my house contains a large one, worthy
the name, in which twenty people could all bathe at
once commodiously.
This bath, which is entirely of marble, was con-
structed for me by an Italian architect. It is circu-
lar, and the exact model of a small temple of Venus
at Nola. It is in the Cornithian style, and lighted
from the centre of the dome by an ceil de boeuf.
All round the piscina in the centre of the chamber,
is. a platform for the accommodation of the bathers,
and marble .statues representing water nymphs
the size of life, and the marble slightly tinted
resembles life; so that when we were all splashing
about in the water, if a stranger had entered, he
90
would have taken those reclining statues for some
of our party, so life-like did they appear.
There are many worse things than a fuck in the
water. I have, as a child, often watched the ducks
at this fun, and most amusing it was. I little
thought then that I should ever be « duck fucked, »
as we call it.
We swim about in all directions, imitating ducks.
— a Quack, quack ! » Then follows the old drake,
repeating the cry, and presently jumps upon one of
us (the drake of course being Evelyn), then the duck
attacked, dives, and the stiff tool of MX Drake is
foiled for that turn.
You have no idea of the excitement and fun of
this game, only it is necessary that both the men
and women who play at it should be good swim-
mers, as there is no sport at all unless the water is
at least seven feet'deep.
Many a hot summer's afternoon have I passed
at this game, since my cousin and her proteges
came up to town, and believe me there are few things
like it.
Here we are, then, a united happy family, and
here I hope my fair guests may long remain.
The two children — who are of course, dressed
in the extremity of the mode — really appear most
bewitching. They are made so much of by my
friends and acquaintances, that 1 almost fear they
will become conceited and spoiled.
But I think I have now told you all I have to
tell, so adieu, my old friend.
Your own
Lesbia
— 91 —
LETTER VII.
Containing a remarkable adventure that Ibefel a
sailor, fresh returned, from sea.
CAPTAIN SHIVERMYTIMBERS TO PHOEBE.
My dear Phoebe,
Yon always were a tight craft, and a ticlar
favorite of mine. I will, therefore, tell you an
adventure I met with at Ranelagh the other night.
I had just been to splice the mainbraee at one of
those alcoves where the lush is sold, and was moving
off on a bowline, when a smart, saucy looking frigate,
with all her pennants flying, bore down on my
starboard quarter, and raising her bow-ports-which
you landlubbers call eyelids-she fired two. such well
aimed shots at me from her bow chasers, that brought
me up all standing.
" Ship ahoy ! « says she. •
" Ahoy ! a says I.
" What ship's that ? « says she.
" The Tollyrouser ! » says I.
" Where are you bound ? // says she.
»To Cunnyport, » says I.
« Come on board, « says she.
" Aye, aye ! « says I.
So ranging up alongside, I doused my quid, and
putting it in mypocket, I wiped my mouth with the
back of my hand, and saluted the saucy frigate.
" Come, captain, « says she, « will you take me
in tow ? a
u With the greatest pleasure in the world, « says
I. n Hook on with your grappling irons, miss; « and
1 oifered her my arm.
a The cockpit is all ready, « says she; «let's get
out of the crowd and go under the trees, where
there's not so much light. »
// Heave ahead! « says I, and we made for a dark
shrubbery; but before leaving the blaze of the light
from the lamps, I stole a good squint at the prize,
and a prettier young girl I never saw in my life.
a Any shot in the locker, Jack ? « says she.
a Lots my girl, a says I.
u Gold? a says she, again.
a Here you are, « says I, and slipped a guinea into
her hand.
By this we had reached the coppice, and coming
to a seat, she knelt upon it, and pulling up her duds,
said laughing.
a All the sailors say I have the cleanest run, and
finest counter they ever saw; so I'always take up
this position.
u Damn my eyes and limbs! » says I, 'all the
positions are the same to me. « *
And I ran out my jibboom, grasping her by the
hips.
She had an arse as hard as a nine pound shot, and as
soft as satin; and as she guided in my yard, my belly
hit against her buttocks with a noise like the flap-
ping of a seventy-four's maintopsail in a gale of
wind.
I thought her wonderfully tight, but supposed she
had not been long on town. Yet, after we had been
!
poking some time, I thrust my hand round in front
- 92 —
ii
— 95 —
forty at least, that in a month she married
jlThen everything went to the devil. Captain
tlckson would get drunk ; Captain Jackson would
eat the watch; Captain Jackson would bring
grange whores into the house. He was in debt;
creditors came there and dunned him. He was
I bully, so the men of quality, who used to go
lere, gave the house up. He was a gamester, and
icon squandered all Phoebe's money (except, indeed,
|>er little annuity, which he did not know of).
As for 'Chloe, when she saw how matters were
'going, she came to'me, and I managed to withdraw
her share in the Bagnio, Phoebe purchasing both it
and her share in the freehold, and Chloe retired with
a fortune of H 20,000 or more in Consols.
With Phoebe, things went on from bad to worse,
ler house got an ill name. The Captain mortgaged
fine freehold, debts increased, the furniture was
seized, and the house closed. A few days after this
/climax, her husband was carried to his lodgings in
ia dying condition, having been run through the
fangs in a duel with a gentleman, whom he had
finsulted at a hell in St.James's the night before.
This was indeed a happy release for poor Phoebe,
who although ruined by her reckless husband, was
soon set up in a new house by some of her old pa-
ir irons, where Chloe was only too glad to rejoin her.
I Phoebe and Chloe are now the joint mistresses of the
too celebrated White House in Soho, and some times
|honor me with their confidence, by asking my
fl dvice how to invest their rapidly increasing for-
t. *ie; I am also the custodian of all their title deeds
and curious correspondence, and it is their joint wish
that I should some day (when they have finally
red) bring out a short memoir of their famous esta
blishment and enlighten the world as to the "
and revelries there carried on.
I am, my dear Sir,
Your faithful servant,
Reginald Randall.
Temple, 17th. August, 1742.
To Frederic Mosscock Esq,
Park Lane.
The End.