Below is the raw OCR of Your Health! by Phelps. If you wish to verify the text, please download the PDF of the scanned pages.
Copyright A. D. 1906, by George W. Jacobs 6 Co. Published
October, 1906,
All rights reserved Printed in U. S. A.
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WOMAN INDLESS torments dwell about thee, Yet who could love and live without thee.
CD
B HHOUGH in this rapid transit
H To shorten all things is the
rage; Though novel, sermon, poem, play, Grow briefer with each
hurrying day, One bulwark still defies endeavor— A kiss is just as
long as ever.
ERE'S to the Have-been's, the Are-now's, and the May-be's.
H j pledge the kiss H j Whose poignant bliss, JHHk. j Comes
from a microbe, so
—--------------~~ they say.
A microbe? Ho! If that is so, He tickles in a pleasant way.
•'And faith," say I,
" If man must die Of microbe that and microbe this,
HI gladly sip
The fatal lip, And take my microbe in a kiss."
PI
UJ
ERE'S to Hobbies; may they never need a veterinary.
AY we ever be able to serve a friend and noble enough to conceal it.
li-l
I V B JERE'S to the ships of the
H H I
dflft <JH J Here's to the women of the land, May the former be
well rigged, And the latter be well manned.
friends, To bless the things we eat;
'-----------------* For it has been full many a
year, Since we have seen our feet.
Yet who would lose a precious pound,
By trading sweets for sours ? It takes a mighty girth indeed,
To hold such hearts as ours!
TV
JL t HOME
HE place where the world's strife is shut out and the world's
love is shut in.
■j gHE pay-roll—the bottom of m M business, and when that HBmbmH stops the bottom drops out.
JERE'S to Love, the only fire against which there is no insurance.
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I m [Oil may prate of the virtues
I m I of memory,
I B Of the days and Joys that
I_____ J are past,
But here's to a good forgettery, And a friendship that cannot
last.
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VS to one and only one, And may that one be he, Who loves but one and only one, And may that one be me.
■ M HERE'S to the girl that's good
■ H I and sweet, 1 Here's to the girl
that's
Here's to the girl that rules my heart, In other words* here's to
you.
H drink it as the fates ordain
H
jm I Come, fill it, and then done with rhymes. Fill up the
lonely glass and drink it, In memory of the dear old times.
t
D I RINK to the Press, but do not press to drink The gentlemen
whose task is "slinging ink;" They're usually men of sober views,
And ne'er should be full—of aught but news.
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u
ML JB|ERE'S long life to
Mother-in-law, With all her freaks and capers. For without our
"dear old Ma,"
What would become of comic papers?
the
■ *M HERE'S to the gay Martigny,
■ H I Bright, sparkling, and
mmmm »xjs not so sweet as a
woman's lip, But a great sight more sincere.
NATCH gaily the joys which
the momentshall bring,
And away every care and
perplexity fling.
|AY our eyes be no keener when we look upon the faults of others than when we survey our own.
jERE'S to this water,
Wishing it were wine, Here's to you, my darling,
Wishing you were mine.
PI
I H iERES to the Garden of Eden B Which Adam was always
a-weedin',
Till Eve by mistake,
Got bit by a snake, Who on the ripe pippins was feedin*.
Then a longing it seemed to possess her, For clothing sufficient
to dress her;
And ever since then
It's been up to us men To pay for her dresses—God bless her!
r
EVER a lip is curved in
pain, That cannot be kissed into
smiles again.
HERE'S to thenoblestwoman that God ever made. I He never made one
such another, As my Mother.
JOVE makes the time pass, Time makes love pass.
HE health of those we love the best—Our Noble Selves.
I
HI
fl M ERE'S to the friend whose * friendship once determined
never swerves. You can bet on him every time.
N the table spread the cloth, Let the knives be sharp and clean; Pickles get, and salad both, Let them each be fresh and green; With small beer, good ale, and wine, O ye gods, how I shall dine!
[ERE'S to Love, that begins with a fever and ends with a yawn.
m
iERE'S to the girl with eyes
] of blue,
J Whose heart is kind and — love is true;
Here's to the girl with eyes of brown, Whose spirit proud you
cannot down ; Here's to the girl with eyes of gray, Whose sunny
smile drives care away. Whatever hue their eyes may be, I'll drink
to the girls this toast with thee.
|H
IMERICAandEngland. May they never have any division but the Atlantic between them.
DRINK and the world drinks with you ; _____I Swear off and you
drink
alone.
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ERE'S to the Chaperone, May she learn from Cupid, Just enough
blindness
To be sweetly stupid.
I'll toss, To Byron and Shelley and Keats, To Dobson the blithe
and Swinburne the lithe, And the Irish phenomenon Yeats.
Then, pausing a moment on earth, I'll fill up my glass to the
brim,
To the metrical flow of Miss Phoebe Snow, And that breakfast food
bard, Sunny Jim.
JAY the hinges of friendship never grow rusty.
ERE'S to the Home—a man's kingdom, a child's paradise, and a woman's world.
JAY you have a head to earn and a heart to spend.
EREfS to Love, a thing divine, Description makes it but the less; 'Tis what we feel but can't define, 'Tis what we know but can't express*
I ABIES, the fragile beginnings of a mighty end.
I M| lERE'S to the bride I H I mother-in-law;
|J Here's to the groom
father-in-law; Here's to the sister and brother-in-law; May none
of them need an attorney-at law.
and
and
always light.
|AY our purses always be heavy, and our hearts
m
■ mm HERE'S to the man that loses,
■ B I If his loss be another's
™■■ For bad luck sharpens ambition, And success after
striving heals pain.
UM/«ft.
mighty pain to love it is, And 'tis a pain that pain to
miss, But of all the pains the
greatest pain. Is to love and love in vain.
ERE'S to the Press, the Pulpit, and the Petticoat, the three ruling
powers of the day. The first spreads
knowledge; the second spreads morals;
and the third spreads considerably.
RINKto me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge thee mine; Or leave a kiss within the cup, And
I'll not ask for wine.
OLD—the picklock that msm never fails.
ERE'S to the only true Ian-guage of love—a kiss.
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AY the best day that you have seen be worse than the worst that
is to come.
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HERE'S to you, my dear,
And to the dear that's not here, my dear.
Were she here, my dear,
I'd not be drinking to you, my dear.
ERE'S to Home, the place where you are treated best and grumble most.
UR Country. May she always be in the right;— but right or wrong—Our Country.
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■ HERE'S to Woman, present
■ m ■ and past,
I J I And those who come here-■■■■■■■JJ after;
But if one comes here after us, We'll have no cause for laughter.
I
mmmimimi
J HIS world is filled with
H flowers,
_l The flowers are filled with dew. The dew is filled with
love,
For you and you and you. \
T
H HEN fill the bowl,
/0 I with care,
_ ' Our joy shall always last;
Our hopes shall brighten days to come, And memory gild the past.
-away
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P"H ERE'S to the best in this
Hb m generous land,
JJ mKL The faults of our brothers
we write in the sand,
Their virtues on tablets of love we
engrave, Their good names unsullied strive always to save.
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AY your joy be as deep as the ocean; yourtroublesas light as its foam.
|HE memory of a great love can never die out of the heart.
H
ERE'S to my dear Mother, For she's old and her hair is gray; But
that I love her best of all, I'm not ashamed to say.
You may talk of your girls of beauty And girls of countless
wealth,
But your Mother loves you best of all, And here's to my Mother's
health.
IAY the sunshine of comfort dispel the clouds of despair.
I H |ERE'S to this little world of K H I ours, which is not growing Hul worse to the men and women who are doing their best to make it better.
AY those now love,
Who've never loved before.
May those who've loved, Now love the more.
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H E Lily of Prance may fade; The Thistle and Shamrock wither; The
Oak of England may decay, But the Stars shine on forever.
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JERE'S health and happiness to you. May you always possess the former and always find the latter.
|HOU art not my first love; I had loved before we met, And the
memories of that first love are dear to me yet. But thou art my last
love, the dearest
and the best, And my heart would shed its outer leaves, and give
to thee the rest.
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IS not so bad a world,
As some would like to make it;
But whether good or whether bad, Depends on how you take it.
ml
ERE'S to the rose and here's •
to my heart; (
They died on the self-same 4 day. Here's to the
woman that owned them
both,
j
And tossed them both away. [
f
!
jATHER ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying; And that same flower that blooms to-day, To-morrow may be dying,
ERE'S to Courtesy. It is the oil of controversy; it keeps gentlemen who disagree from punching each other.
V
H OU may talk of a woman's
H constancy,
H And the love that can
Jm J never die;
But here's to a woman's coquetry,
And the pleasure of saying "good-bye."
lERE'S to the native of Pungaloo, Who rests all day from labor,
Who, when he's hungry for a stew, Goes out and kills a neighbor.
He worries not about the style That gentlefolk should foller,
He merely wears a happy smile, A sunburn and a collar.
I AY the sunshine of plenty Dispel the clouds of care.
H HERE'S many a toast I'd
HL like to say,
If I could only think it. So fill your glass to anything, And,
thank the Lord, I'll drink it.
ERE'S to this cocktail, wish-
ing it were wine, Here's to your sweetheart, not forgetting
mine, Here's to my sweetheart, for of course
you don't love me, Here's to your sweetheart, whoever he or
she may be.
i
■ ■■CONOMY—simply the art
H| H ° 2et*inS lne worth of BHHHHIIHB your money.
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H
■ ■ JERE'S to the man who can JH flL. I smile through his tears,
And laugh in the midst of a sigh,
Who can mingle his youth with advancing years, And be happy to
live or to die.
■ — HERE'S to the woman who
■ H I has a smile for every joy, a B B .■ tear for every
sorrow, a con-■HHHB solation for every grief, an excuse for every
fault, a prayer for every misfortune, and an encouragement for every
hope.
H IS a very good world we
H live in,
To spend or to lend or to
._____________J give in;
But to borrow, or beg, or to get what's
one's own, It's the very worst that ever was known.
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■ ■■ HERE'S to the man who speaks
■ H I me fair, |J Who'll stoop to give me a
™ little " hot air."
Who does not wait till I've shuffled off
care, And gone to the whichness of the where.
like champagne, when it ceases to bubble, becomes
Stale and flat.
ONG live to-day—our own at least. Shall we to-morrow see? Take what
you can of joy
and feast, And let to-morrow be.
ERE'S to a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Without misfortune and without a tear; May good luck follow you and abide, And fortune favor you on every side.
(IR Absent Friends. Although out of sight, we recognize them with our glasses.
ERE'S to a bird, a bottle, and an open-work stocking, There's
nothing in this that's so very shocking: The bird came from Jersey,
the bottle
from France, And the open-work stocking was seen at a dance.
ERE'S to love—sweet misery.
THREE cups of wine a prudent man may take: The first of them for constitution's sake; The second to the girl he loves the best; The third and last to lull him to his rest.
mERE'S to the girl With dash and whirl, Who rides about in an auto; Here's to the man, Who'll bridle her To ride 'bout as she ought to.
I
M ET'S be gay while we may,
JIhMHM And seize love with laugh* ter. 1*11 be true as long as
you, And not a minute after.
HERE'S health to you and wealth to you; .
Honors and gifts a
thousand strong; Here's name to you and fame to you, Blessings
and joy a whole life long.
But lest bright fortune's star you dim And sometimes cease to
move to you,
I fill my bumper to the brim, And pledge a lot of love to you.
FTER man came woman She's been after him ever since.
»
ERE'S to my Friend—the one who knows I'm no good and is able to forget it.
JSE, do not abuse. Neither abstinence nor excess renders a man happy.
AY our larder e'er contain Of meat and drink, Enough to forge for friendship's chain Another link.
|0 Woman.
The silence of whose beauty
Is louder than the call of duty.