INTRODUCTION
This first edition of AGES HIGH was inspired by Logan Bentley!s
Stovepipe Serenade and includes most of the songs in the 1956 edition
of that work. A partial bibliography, including all but the many
scraps and bits of songs and music that have been included, follows
on the next page.
There are several versions of some of the songs in the book*
The old favorites have a way of lasting through the years, contin-
ually modified and modernized each time someone writes them down.
All the substantially different versions have been included for
historical interest.
An effort has been made to indicate the tune to as many songs as
possible. In some cases the songs have tunes all their own. If you
come across one of these ask around and chances are some old-timer
can help you out.
DEUCES MILD, the companion work to A0E3 HIGH, is made up of the
songs deemed somewhat improper for mixed company. It is classified
RIBALD AND UNPRINTABLE and should be handled with discretion. Dis-
tribution will be made as soon as it's off the press.
Well, let1 s dig in and start singing. As Willy Shakespeare says 5
!II never heard so musical a discord,
Such sweet thunder..*"
"Lightning Sam" Brooks
317th FIS^ Elmendorf AFB, Alaska
BIBLIOGRAFHY
Stovepipe Serenade, Vincent AFB, Arizona (1956)
317th FIS Official Songsheet
Songs of the Starfighters. 337th FIS
Songs of the Seventy First, 71st FIS, Selfridge AFB, Mich.
Songs of the Army Flyers, pub. 1937 by order of the Dadelians
Songs of the Wth Fighter-Bomber Wing. (1952) by Willy Williams
Songs of the Friendly 8th, 8th Bomb Squadron, 3rd Bomb Wing, Korea
Songs of Squadron Officers Course. (1953)
Songs of the 325th FIS, (now 83rd FIS) Hamilton AFB, 195**
Songs of the 8th Fighter Wing. (1952) by Capt. George S. Thomas
Songs My, Mother Never Taught Me, 18th Fighter-Bomber Wing, Korea
Songs of the 327th FIS, Mr. Penny Bowers, MA, Korea
SoEM of Hell is AFB
The Three Hats, Volumes I and II
G I Song;s, Sheridan House, (19W
The American Song bag, Harcourt Brace & Go., N.Y., 1927
INDEX
A Bomber Flies Ten Thousand Miles.. ,................. 68
ADC Pilot! s Lament...............................____ 39
Ain't It A Bloody Shame____.......................... 21
xr Corps Lament (Glory Flying Regulations)....... 17*18
iiir Force Lament tf n fl ....... 19*20
Air Force 801........................................ 51
Air Force Hymn....................................... h6
A Navy Prayer........................................ 57
An Irish Airman Foresees His Death................... 1
And I Learned About Flying From Him.................. 97
A Poor Aviator Lay Dying.............................. 36
Army Air Force Heaven...................«.........♦.* 5
Barnacle Bill The Pilot.............................. 27
Beer Song............................................ 75
Beneath A Bridge In Sicily*.......................... h
Beside A Brewery At St. Mihiel....................... 3
Beside A Korean Waterfall............................ h-
Blackbirds..........,................................ 35
Blood On Your Tunic *................................. kS
Boozin! Buddies...................................... 37
Break Right.......................................... 78
Cheers, Cheers....................................... 6h
Chicken Song ......................................... 72
Come And Join The Air Force (And You Will Never Mind) 22
Co-pilot* s Lament o................................... 23
Dirty Lil............................................ 75
Dog Pilotfs Lament (We Will Abort Again)*............ 38
iilarly Abort ......................•.....•.......Wl... 5^
Eight Bucks A Day.................................... h-5
Farewell To________*....................... .......... 5+0
Farewell To Antung University. *...................... 59
Fighter Pilots....................................... 11
Flak In The Night.«...____........................... 16
Flak Showers........................,____...____...... 52
Fleet Air Wing - Alma Mater (Gor Blimey)..*,.......... 79
TfG" Suits And Parachutes............................. 69
Hail To The Squadron*...............................» *+7
Hail You Fighter Pilots............................. ♦ 71
Heref s To "..........................*.......... 70
Here f s To The Regular Air Force....................... 2k
Pier Name Is Grace..................................... 28
History Of A Song.................................... 2
Hutch1 s Ballad.___................................... 61
If You Fly........................................... h?
Into The Air......................................... 76
If ve Got Six-pence................................... 71
I fve Got The Clanks.................................. hi
I Wanted Wings.............................••*....... 12
I Wanted Wings (Korea)................................ 13
I Want To Go Home.................................... **5
Jet Pilots In The Sky................................ h2
Jet Pilots In The Sky II ............................ 4-3
Just Give Me Operations..............................Ih-
Korea................................................k-9
Kuni-Ri And Antung................................... 27
Lament Of The Reservist.............................. 26
Let's Have A Party................................70,7^
Long Live The Irish.................................. k-1
Look At The Ears On Him.............................. 77
Make Me Opera tions................................... 15
Man On The Plying Trapeze............................ 39
Meet Me In Kyoto.................................. 22,60
Mig-15.............................................. 56
Moonshine............................................ 59
Mother Take Down Your Service Flag...................4-5
Movin' On............................................ 31
My Darling 39........................................ 31
My Wild Eyed Cadet.v................................. 76
Napalm............................................... 53
Ode To The B-29...................................... 58
Off We Go (Back We Come)............................. 8
Old General Necrason.................................4-3
Old Soldiers Never Die............................... 31
Old 97............................................... 33
Once They Were Happy................................. 62
One Hand On The Throttle............................. 70
On Top Of Old Fuji................................... 56
On Top Of Old Pyongyang.............................. 57
Parties, Banauets, And Balls......................... 73
Parties Make "The World Go Round................ 66,73>7^
Pasde Calais......................................... 4-7
Pilot's Lament.......................................M+
Pusan U........:.................................... 50
Rail Cutters......................................... 53
Red Nose Migs........................................ 56
Roll Your Leg Over................................... 72
Safe Hand Mail.......................................32
Samuel Hall.......................................... 66
Save A Fighter Pilot' s Life I........................ 9
Save A Fighter Pilot' s Life II....................... 10
Seoul City Sue.......................................4-9
Sing Hallelujia For Maneuvers........................ 77
Sons; Of R And R ..................................... 63
Song Of The l8th..................................... 35
Song Of The Zulu Warriors............................ 0
Spot Promotion....................................... 21
Springtime On The Yalu............................... 4-8
Squadron Song........................................ 73
Stand To Your Glasses..............................6,7
Strafers............................................ 76
Straf in! Round The Mountain* ........................ 58
Sweet Suzanne . ....................................9. 65
Tachikawa 5 Yokahama, Itazuke ........................ 62
Ten Thousand Dollars Home To The Folks.............. hh
Hi3 Air Force Has Gone To Hell. ..................... 17
The Fighting 68th...............................___ k-6
The Fairchild Abortion.............................. 67
The Forma tion*...................••....•••.......... 56
The Handsome Young Airman........................... 36
The Invader......................................... 67
The Itazuke GET ....___•.............___....... 59,79
The Little Mouse.................................... 72
The Man Behind The Armor Plated Desk................ 30
The Mission*........................................ 55
The Old Bombardment Group*.......................... 53
The Prettiest Plane*................................ 78
There Are No Fighter Pilots Dowi In Hell............ 10
The Po River Valley................................. 63
The Passing Pilot I................................ 2
The Passing Pilot II *.............................. 3
The River Ran Red................♦.................. 52
Tiptanks And Tailpipes.............................. 16
Toast To The Blue Angels............................ 29
Too Long At Itazuke••......•..«.•••.•.•............. 25
To The Regulars..................................... 25
We Heard You When You Sang....................*..... 75
We Will Abort Again................................. 38
When Your Leaves Have Turned To Silver.............. 23
Who In The Hell Are You?........................... 75
Wreek Of The Old 97*..*....♦......•................. 3^
You Can Tell A Fighter Pilot •....................... 8
An Interview With Lt. Rudder. .......••.............. 80
Notice To Passengers............................*..•/ 82
-Le u"cer s $« ..««..««•.•«« .............•••«».•••••.o^^oji^ 00
A Tale Of Old Taegu.............................../. 87
A Voice That Cries In The Teen Age Wilderness..«,..«,. 90
An Interview With The General................ •......• 91
Definition Of ATC Terms............................. 93
Such Modesty' ...................................... 95
Happy BirthdayS «................................... 95
My^ First Time....................................... 96
"I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those I fight I do not hate
Those I guard I do not love....
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds
I balanced all, brought all to mind
The years to come seem waste of breath
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death."
An Irish Airman Foresees His Death
by William Butler Yeats
HISTORY OP A SONG
The following example is offered to show how a song has remained
consistently-
popular with the troops for over forty years a
"The Passing Pilot,ft as it was called in the First World War, is a universal
favorite today tinder the title "Beside a Korean (Guinea) Waterfall*" She best
explanation of its origin I have been able to find appears in the introduction
to
John P. Marquand's book, "So Little Time*"
Mr. Jferquand says: ".*«a song about 'looking for a happy land where
everythin|
is bright1 has been used frequently and is seldom quoted in exactly the same
way,
since it was a parody fashioned in the First World War and still, as far as can
be
discovered, is word~of-mouth* It was parodied from a song, fThe Dying Hobo1
which appears in the anthology by Sigaund Spaeth, fWeep Some More, My Lady*1"
On page 5^8 of "So Little Time" the following lines appear:
"We're going to a happy land
Where everything is bright
Where the highballs grow on bushes
And we stay out every night
Where you never lift a finger
Nor even darn your socks
And little drops of Haig and Haig
Come trickling down the rocks*"
On this and the following two pages are presented versions of the song as
sung
in World War I, World War II, and the Korean War» Similar versions also appear
in
the following collections: "Repulsive Rhapsodies," "Songs of the 325th," "Songs
of the 8th Fighter Wing,""Songs % Mother Never Taught Me," Songs of Nellis AFB*"
THE PASSING PILOT I
Beside a Belgian water tank one cold and wintry day
Beneath his busted engine a young observer lay
His pilot hung from a telegraph pole but not entirely dead
And he listened to the last words this young observer said:
Oh, Ifm going to a better land where everything is bright
Where handouts grow on bushes and they stay out late at night
You do not have to work at all nor even change your socks
And drops of Johnny Walker come trickling thru the rocks*
The pilot breathed his last few gasps before he passed away
I111 tell you how it happened, the flippers fell away
The motor wouldn't work at all, the ailerons flivered too
A shot went thru the gas tank and let the gas leak thru.
Hie spirits left their bodies and as they upward flew
Said pilot to the observer I'll tell you what we111 do
We'll get old Pete to give us wings and back to earth we'll fly
And we'll haunt those god»damned Ki-wis until the day they die*
("Songs of the Army Flyers")
2.
BESIDE THE BREWERY AT ST, MIHIEL
Beside the Brewery at St* Mihiel one bleak November day
Beside a busted III-4 a brave young pilot lay.
His arms and legs were shattered, the tank had conked his hea
We all knew he was going west*, but efre he died he said:
"Oh, I'm going to a better land, they souse there every night,
Where cocktails grow on crabapple trees, and every one stays tight•
Where bugles never blow at all, where no one winds the clocks,
And drops of Johnnie Walker come trickling down the rocks."
The brave young lad was bouncing off, but as he passed away,
We saw his lips were moving, nMy friends, it was this way.
The goddamned motor wouldn't hit, the struts were far too few,
A tracer hit the gas tank, and the flamin' juice came through."
"Oh, I'm going to a better land, where motors always run,
Where housewives hand out juleps, and pilots grow a bun.
Where they've got no Sops, no Spads, no Sals, and not a bloody
flamin' four
And absinth frappes, sool and stout are served at every store."
("The Three Hats", Vol. I)
THE PASSING PILOT II
Beside a Belgian 'staminet, when the smoke had cleared away
Beneath a busted Camel, its former pilot lay;
His throat was cut by the bracing wire, the tank had hit his head,
And, coughing a shower of dental work, these were the words he said:
"Oh, I'm going to a better land — they jazz there every nightj
The cocktails grow on bushes, so every one stays tight;
They've torn up all the calendars, they've busted all the clocks,
And little drops of whiskey come trickling through the rocks."
The pilot breathed these last few gasps before he passed away:
"I'll tell you how it happened. My flippers didn't stay.
The motor wouldn't hit at all, the struts were far too few,
A bullet hit the gas -tanks, and the gas came leaking through.
"Oh, I'm going to a better land where the motors always run,
Where eggnog grows on the eggplant, and the pilots grow a bun
They*ve got no Sops, they've got no Spads, they've got no Flaming Fours
And little frosted juleps are served at all the stores."
("Songs of the Army Flyers")
3.
BESIDE A KOREAN WATERFALL
Beside a Korean waterfall, one bright and sunny day
Beside his shattered Sabrejet, a young pursuiter lay
• His parachute hung from a nearby tree, he was not yet quite dead
So listen to the very last words the young pur suiter said:
"We're going to a better land where everything is bright
Where whiskey flows from telegraph poles
Play poker every night!
We haven ft got a thing to do but sit around and sing
And all our crews are women, Oh Death I, where is thy stingJM
Oh, death where is thy sting, ting-a-ling
Oh, death where is thy sting
Hie bells of h£ll will ring, ring-a-ling
For you but not for meI
Oh, ring-a-ling-a-ling ling, pin a rose on you
Ring-a-ling-a-ling ling, pin a rose on you
Ring-a-ling-a-ling ling, pin a rose on you
Better days are coming bye and bye I
(Songs of the 357th Fighter Squadron)
BEHEATH A BRIDGE IN SICILY
Beneath a bridge in Sicily, one cold and wintry day,
Beside a busted fighter plane the former pilot layj
His throat was cut by the bracing wire, the tank had hit his head
And he listened to the dying words his young observer said:
We*re going to a better land where everything is bright,
Where handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night.
You never have to work at all, nor even change your socks
And little drops of whiskey come trickling down the rocks.
The pilot breathed these last few words before he passed away:
I111 tell you how it happened: my flippers didn't stay,
Die motor wouldn't hit at all, the struts were far too few,
A bullet ripped the gas tank and the oil came oozing through*
Oh, Ifm going to a better land where the motors always run,
Where the eggnogs grow on eggplants and pilots grow a bun
They have no interceptors, no Junkers thirty-four
And little frosted juleps are served at every store•
The observer said to the pilot, as heavenward they flew:
Now, when we see Sto Peter, I tell you what we do:
We'll get ourselves some brand new wings and back to earth we'll fly
To haunt the goddam Jerries until the day they dieI
Oh, we're going to a better land, they jazz there every night
The cocktails grow on bushes, so everyone stays tight;
They've torn up all the calendars, they've busted all the clocks,
And Scotch or Rye or Bourbon keep running down the rocks•
("GI SONGS")
ARMY AIR FORGE HEAVEN
Beside a Korean waterfall one bright and sunny day,
Beside his shattered bomber plane a poor young pilot lay,
His parachute hung from a tree but he was not yet dead
And as they gathered round him, these were the words he said:
"I'm going to that better land where the motors always roar,
Inhere the~eggnogs grow on eggplants in the Quartermaster's store,
where there aren't no interceptors and no enemies around
There'll be apple pie and rock and rye
And the pilots go there when they die
In the Army Air Force Heaven/*
The pilot lay beside the falls as the medics clustered round,
And he said, "It's such a lovely place that's where I am bound."
A crankshaft in his liver and a sparkplug on his nose;
He says,"I'm flying fast my friends, to where every pilot goes.11
"I'm going to that better land where the airman rides in style,
Where the automatic pilot works while we sit back and smile,
There's a girl for every officer, a dozen for the crew,
There'll be beds of hay in the old bomb bay,
And the boys will shout out, !Bombs awayI!
In the Army Air Force Heaven."
His breath came fast, he couldn't last
With sadness they all eyed him,
The medics wept and the tears rolled down,
The pools flowed down beside him,
The waters rose, they reached his toes,
He floated where he lay
And as he drifted out of sight, his comrades heard him say:
nIfm going to that better land
Where the flak donft never fly,
Where the bullets are all cotton
And the shells are apple pie,
Where the clouds are champagne cocktails,
And you drink them on the*fly,
But it's time to leave, don't you grieve,
I'll be wearing wings on my leather sleeve
In the Army Air Force Heaven."
5.
STAND TO YOUR GLASSES
We stand fneath resounding rafters
The walls around are bare
They echo back our laughter
Seems that the dead are all there
CHORUS: Stand to your glasses steady
This world is a world of lies
Here's a health to the dead already
Hurrah for the next man to die.
Denied by the land that bore us
Betrayed by the ones we held dear
The good have all gone before us
And only the dull are still here.
We loop in the purple twilight
We spin in the silvery dawn
With a trail of smoke behind us
To show where our comrades have
In flaming Spad and Camel
With wings of wood and steel
For mortal stakes we gamble
With cards that were stacked for
gone
the
(Verses of this song appear as part of several other songs included in
this collection. This is believed to be close to the original song
which came out of the first World War, and is copied in its entirety
from "Songs of the Army Flyers.")
6.
STAND TO YOUR GLASSES
A poor aviator lay a-dying
At the end of a bright summers day
And his comrades were gathered around him
To carry his fragments away.
Oh, his bird was piled on his wishbone
And his engine was wrapped round his head
And he wore a spark plug on each elbow
fTwas plain he would shortly be dead.
Oh, he spat out a valve and a gasket
As he stirred in the sump where he lay
And to his sorrowing comrades
These brave parting words he did say:
"I'll be riding a cloud in the morning
With no Merlin before me to course
So come along, and get busy
Another lad now wants the hearse.
"Take the manifold out of my larynx
And the cylinders out of my brain
Take the piston rods out of my kidneys
And assemble the engine again.
With rusted fifties and rockets
With pilots as old as they seem
We fly these worn out Mustangs
Against the MIG-fifteen.
Forgotten by the land that bore us
Betrayed by the ones we held dear
The good have all gone before us
And only the dull are still here.
So stand to your glasses steady
This world is a world full of lies
Herefs a toast to those dead already
And here's to the next man to die.
("Songs Mfcr Mother Never Taught Me")
7.
YOU CAN TELL A FIGHTER PILOT
(Tune: Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory)
By the ring around his eyeball
You can tell a "bombadier
You can tell a bomber pilot
By the spread around his rear
You can tell a navigator
By his sextants, maps, and such
You can tell a fighter jockey
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HIM MUCH JI
(Capt Clayton Silliman)
OFF WE GO
(Tune: USAF Song)
Back we come, off of a one-hour test hop
From over the land, and over the sea
For this feat we get a raise in rank
Ten days leave, and a D.F.C*
Heroes all, as you can judge by medals
Got a lot, and we'll get some more
We're out to conquer, and we will
For nothing can stop the U*S# Air ForceI
(Capt Robert Daley)
SONG OF THE ZULU WARRIORS
Ay zigga sumba zumba zumba
Ay zigga zumba zumba zayi
Ay zigga zumba zumba zumba
Ay zigga zumba zumba zayl
CHORUS: Hold 'em down, you Zulu warriors
Hold 'em down, you Zulu chiefs I
Chiefs! ChiefsI Chiefs!
Chi-ga-ma-lie - - - oh!
(The "Song of the Zulu Warriors" is supposed to have originated with the
South African Squadron stationed in Korea* It was subsequently adopted
by American pilots • I firet heard it sung at Langley AFB by the 509th
FBS in 1953 • The most Important part of the song is the rythmical foot-
stomping. The verse and chorus are repeated, each time a little louder,
until you get thrown out of the club*)
8,
SAVE A FIGHTER PILOT1 S LIFE (i)
(Tune: Throw a Nickel on the Brum)
Oh, I lined up with the runway and headed for the ditch
I looked down at my prop, my God, it's in high pitch
I pulled back on the stick and rose into the air
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, how did I get there?
CHORUS: Oh Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah
Throw a nickel on the grass
Save a fighter pilot*s life
Oh Hallelujah, Oh Hallelujah
Throw a nickel on the grass
And you'll he saved!
I started in to buzz, I thought that I was clear
And when I clipped the flagpole, I knew the end was near
I met the flying hoard, and they gave me the works
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, what a "bunch of jerks!
Fouled up my crosswind landing, my left wing touched the ground
Got a call from Mobile, "Pull up and go around!"
I racked that (name of a/c) in the air a dozen feet or more
The bastard snapped, I'm on my back, oh save me (name of Sq CO)I
Oh, I flew the traffic pattern, to me it looked all right
And when I made my final turn, My God, I racked it tight
The engine coughed and sputtered, the ship began to weave
Mayday, Mayday, Colonel (Wing CO), Spin instructions please!
Strafin' on the panel, I made my pass too low
Came a call from tower, "One more and home you go!"
I pulled that (name of a/c) in the blue, she hit a high-speed stall
Now I won't be back this winter when the work's all done this fall!
Cruisin' down the Yalu doing six-fifty per
Gave a call to (name of flight leader), oh won't you save me sir1?
Got two big flak holes in my wings, my tank ain't got no gas *
Mayday, mayday, mayday - got six MiGs on my ass!
Now I'm in the gutter with pretzels in my beer
With pretzels in my whiskers, I knew the end was near
Then came this glorious Air Force to save me from the worst
Everybody bust a butt and sing the second verse!
9-
SAVE-A FIGHTER PILOT'S LIFE (il)
(Tune: Throw a Nickel on the Btvm)
It was midnight in Korea, all the pilots were in "bed ,
When up stepped Colonel_______, and this is what he said:
I hate this God daisn place!
Mustangs, gentle pilots, Mustangs one and all
Mustangs, gentle pilots, and the pilots shouted, "BallsI"
Then up stepped a young Lieutenant with a voice as harsh as "brass
"You can take those God Damn Mustangs Jack, and shove 'em up your
CHORUS: Oh hallelujah, oh hallelujah
Throw a nickel on the grass
Save a fighter pilotfs life
Oh hallelujah, oh hallelujah.
Throw a nickel on the grass
And you'll "be saved!
Cruising down the Yalu doing three-twenty per
I called to my Flight Leader, "Oh won't you save me sir?"
Got two "big flak holes in my wing, my tanks ain't got no gas
Mayday - Mayday - May day - got six MiGs on my ass I
I flew my traffic pattern, to me it looked all right
My air speed read 130, My God, I racked it tigjht
I turned into the final, my engine gave a wheeze
Mayday - Mayday - Mayday - Spin instructions please!
Fouled up my crosswind landing, my left wing hit the ground
Came a call from tower: "Pull up and go around."
Racked that Mustang in the air a dozen feet or more
I'm on my "back, it's worse than flak, why did I use full bore?
Split S onto my "bomb run, I got too God Damn low
I pressed the bloody button, let both my babies go
I sucked the stick back in my gut - I hit a high-speed stall
Now I won't see my mother "when the work's all done this fall!
They sent me up to Pyongyang, the brief said "Skoshe ack ack"
But by the time I got there my wings were holed by flak
My aircraft wejrt into a spin, it would no longer fly
Mayday - Mayday -. Mayday - I am too young to die!
I Uailed^out from that Mustang, my landing was top line
,Ji^th my B and E equipment I made for our front line
' \But when I opened up my ration tin to see what was in it
The God damn Quartermaster had filled the thing with shit.
Now in this Commie prison camp I am obliged to sit
For one cannot go very far on a ration tin of shit
If I am ever free again, I will no longer fly
But I'll have Quartermaster bollix for breakfast till I die!
10.
FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in Hell
Oh there are no fighter pilots down in Hell
The place is full of queers
Navigators, Bombadiers
But there are no fighter pilots down in Hell!
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the States
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the States
They are off on foreign shores
Making mothers out of whores
Oh there are no fighter pilots in the StatesI
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
Oh there are no fighter pilots in Japan
They axe all across the bay
Being shot at every day
Oh there are no fighterpilots in JapanI
Oh the bomber pilot's life is just a farce
Oh the bomber pilotfs life is just a farce
The automatic pilotfs on
Reading novels in the John
Oh the bomber piloCs life is just a farceI
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dare
His gyros are uncaged
And his women overaged
Oh the bomber pilot never takes a dareI
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in Fifth
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in Fifth
The place is full of brass
Sitting round on their fat ass
Oh there are no fighter pilots up in Fifth!
Oh it's naughty naughty naughty but itfs nice
If you ever do it onoe you'll do it twice
It'll wreck your reputation
But increase the population
Oh it's naughty naughty naughty but it's nice!
Oh look at the 55th in the club
Oh look at the 55th in the club
They don't party, they don't sing
77th does everything
Oh look at the 55th in the club!
When a bomber jockey walks into our club
When a bomber jockey walks into our club
He don't drink his share of suds
All he does is flub his dub
OH THERE ARE NO FIGHTER PILOTS DOWN IN HELL!
11.
I WANTED WINGS
I wanted wings 'till I got the God damn things,
Now I don't want them any more*
They taught me how to fly, then they sent me here to die,
I've got a "belly-full of war*
You can save those Zeros for the God Damn heros
For distinguished flying crosses do not compensate for losses,
I wanted wings 'till I got the God damn things,
Now I don't want them any more.
I'll take the dames while the rest go down in flames
I've no desire to be burned.
Air combat's no romance and it made me vet my pants,
I'm not a fighter, I have learned.
You can leave the Mitsubishes for the crazy sons-a*-bitches,
Cause I'd rather lay a woman than get shot down in a Grumman,
I wanted wings 'till I got the God damn things
Now I don't want them any more*
I'm too young to die in a God damn PBY
That's for the eager, not for me
I won't trust to luck to be picked up in a "Duck11
After I've crashed into the sea
I would rather be a hellhqp than a flier on a flattop
With my hand around a bottle not a God damn throttle,
I wanted wings 'till I got the God damn things,
Now I don't want them any more.
I don't want to tour over Berlin or the Buhr
Flak always makes me part my lunch
For me there's no Hey Hey when they holler "Bombs Away"J
I'd rather be home with the launch.
For there's one thing you can't laugh, off
And that's when they shoot your ass off
And I'd rather be home, Buster, with my ass than with a cluster
I wanted wings 'till I got the God damn things,
Now I don't want them any more!
The day that we bombed Metz, I ran out of cigarettes
I always smoke one for my gut
They make them by the ton, But I haven't got a one
Oh! What I'd give to have a butt.
Now the home front may be pitchin' but I still do my bitchin'
Till I find some real sharp cooky
Who can mass-produce some nookey
I wanted wings 'till I got the God damn things,
Now I don't want them any more!
12.
I WANTED WINGS
(Korean Version)
I wanted wings till I got the goddam things,
Now I don't want than anymore.
I don't want a tour in Korea that's for sure,
I've had a bellyfull of war.
I don't want my fanny frozen
In that putrid land of Chosen
Fighting Migs of Uncle Joe's
In atmosphere that's frigid frozen, "buster,
I wanted wings till I got the goddam things,
Now I don't want them anymore.
I don't want to die over Antung in the sky
Migs always make me barf my lunch
For me there's no hey-hey screaming,
"Bogies that-a-wayi"
I'd rather be home with the bunch*
Now there's one thing you can't laugh off
And that's when they shoot your ass off,
I would rather be home, buster,
With my butt than with a cluster, buster,
I wanted wings till I got the goddam things,
Now I don't want them anymore.
("Songs of the 325th Fighter-Interceptor
Squadron*)
13.
JUST GIVE ME OPERATIONS
Don't give me a P-38 with props that counter-rotate
Biey'll loop roll and spin but they'll soon auger in
Donft give me a P-38J
CHORUS: Just give me Operations
Way out on some lonely atoll
For I am too young to die
I just want to go home*
Donft give me a P-39 with an engine that's mounted behind
It will tumble and roH and dig a big hole
Don't give me a P-39J
Don't give me a Curtiss Warhawk, about it the pilots all squawk
It flew like a sparrow but its gear was too narrow
Don't give me a Curtiss Warhawki
Don't give me an old Thunderbolt, it gave many a pilot a jolt
It iboks like a jug and it flies like a tug
Don't give me an old Thunderbolt!
Don't give me a F-Shooting Star, it'll go but not very far
It111 rumble and spout but soon will flame out
Don't give me a F-Shooting Star I
Don't give me an T-6k9 their pilots aren't here any more
They bombed in that crate, but they all pulled out late
Don't give me an F-t&l
Don't give me an F-86 with wings like broken match sticks
They'll zoom and they'll hover but as for top cover
Don't give me an F-56J
Don't give me an eighty-six-D with overdrive and TV
She'll loop roll and spin but she'll soon auger in
Don't give me an eighty-six-Dl
Don't give me an F-59 though !fTime" says they really will climb
They're all in the States, all boxed up in crates
Don't give me an F~ti92
Don't give me an F-9*b it's never established a score
It may fly in weather but won't hold together
Don't give me an F-9^I
Just give me an old Fifty-one, with praise for the work it has done
It' s tried and it' s true and will take care of you
Just give me an old Fifty-one I
FINAL CHORUS: Just give me my old Mustang
For defending democracy's cause
For I am too young to die
I just want to go homeJ
14.
MAKE ME OPERATIONS
Don't give me a P~38> the props they counter-rotate,
Biey've scattered and smitten from Burma to Brigain,
Don't give me a P-3&
CHORUS: Just make me operations
Way out on some lonely atoll
For I am too young to die
I just want to grow oldJ
Don't give me a P-39> the engine is mounted behind,
lhey'11 tumble and spin, and auger you in,
Don't give me a P-39«
Don't give me a Peter Four Oh, a hell of an airplane I know,
A ground loopin' bastard, you're sure to get plastered,
Don't give me a Peter Four Oh.
Don't give me a P-51, it was alright for fighting the hun,
But with coulant tank dry, you'll run out of sky,
Don't give me a P-51.
Don't give me a P~6l, for night flying is no fun,
Ihey say it's a lark, but Ifm scared of the dark,
Don't give me a P-6l.
Don't give me an F-i&, she's just a ground-loving whore
She'll whine, moan, and wheeze, and she'll clobber the trees
Don't give me an F-t&.
("Songs of SOC", "Repulsive Rhapsodies")
15.
TIPmMKS AMD TAILPIPES
(Bme: Bless Them All)
Bless them all, bless them aH
Bless tiptanks and tailpipes and all
Bless old man Lockheed for building this jet
But I know a guy who is cussing hto yet
Cause he tried to go over the wall
With tiptanks and tailpipes and all
The needles did cross, and the wings did come off
With tiptanks and tailpipes and all I
Through the wall, through the wall
through the bloody invisible wall
Baat transonic journey is nothing but rough
As bad as a ride on the local base bus
So I'm staying away from it all
Subsonic for me and that's all
If you're hot you might make it
But you'll probably break it
Your butt or your neck, not the wall!
("Songs of the 8th Fighter Wing")
16.
AIR CORPS LAMENT (Battle Hyrnn/Rplc)
Mine eyes have seen the days of men who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts that laughed at death and lived for nothing but to fly
But now those hearts are grounded and those days are long gone by
The Air Corps gone to hell.
CHORUS: Glory . . . ♦ , Flying Regulations
Have them read at every station
Crucify the man who "breaks one
The Air Corps gone to hell*
My bones have felt their pounding throb, a hundred thousand strong,
A mighty airborne legion sent to right the deadly wrong
But now itfs only memory, it only lives in song
The Air Corps gone to hell.
I have seen them in their T-bolts when their eyes were dancing flame
I've seen their screaming power dives that blasted Goering's name
But now they fly like sissies and they hang their heads in shame
Their spirit's shot to hell.
They flew B~26fs through a living hell of flak
And bloody, dying pilots gave their lives to bring them back
But now they all play ping pong in the operations shack
Their technique's gone to hell.
Yes, the lordly flying Fortress and the Liberator too
Once wrote the doom of Germany with contrails in the blue
But now the skies are empty and our planes are wet with dew
And we can't fly for hell.
You have heard your pounding 50's blaze from wings of polished steel
The purring of your Merlin was a song your heart could feel
But now the L-5 charms you with its moanin' groanin' squeal
And it won't climb for hell.
Hap Arnold built a fighting team that sang a fighting song
About the wild blue yonder in the days when men were strong
But now we're closely supervised for fear we may do wrong
The Air Corps gone to hell.
FLAK IN THE NIGHT
From Kunsan to Anju, from Pyongyang to Yangdok
Wherever the red trucks go
I've been on some tough routes, and had me some rough bouts,
But there is one thing I know;
The Red Balls will get you, they're worrisome things,
That lead you to sing the flak in the night.
Hear the 8th a-calling, hear the 13th bawling
Dentist, oh Dentist, oh Bromide, oh Bromide
Oh Snowflake, oh give me a steer, oh give me a fix
I'm lost in the night ♦ . .
17.
THE AIR FORCE HAS GONE TO HELL
(ifcine: Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory)
Mine eyes have seen the days of men
Who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts that laughed at death and lived
For nothing hut to fly
But now those hearts are grounded
And those days are long gone by
The Air Force's gone to HellI
CHORUS: Glory Flying Regulations
Have them read at every station
Crucify the man that breaks one
The Air Force's gone to Heni
I have seen them in their T-Bolts when
Their eyes were dancing flame
I have seen their screaming power dives
That plastered Goering's name
But now they fly like sissies
And they hang their heads in shame
Their spirit's shot to Hell J
They flew their Mustang fighters
Through a living Hell of flak
And the bloody dying pilots gave
Their lives to bring them back
But now they all play ping-pong
In the operations shack
Their technique's gone to Helli
CHORUS
(Songs of the 325th
Squadron)
18.
AIR FORCE LAMENT
(Tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Mine eyes have seen the days of men who ruled the fighting sky
With hearts that laughed at Death and lived for nothing but to fly,
But now those hearts are grounded and those days are long gone by;
The Air Forcefs Gone to Hell!
CHORUS: Glory - - Flying Regulationsi
Have them read at every stationi
Crucify the man who breaks ond.
The Air Force!s Gone to Helli
My bones have felt their pounding throb, a hundred thousand strong,
A mighty airborne legion sent to right the deadly wrong,
But now it's only memory, it only lives in song;
The Air Force's Gone to Helli
I have seen them in their T-Bolts when their eyes were dancing flame,
I've seen their screaming power dives that blasted Goering's name,
But now they fly like sissies and they hang their heads in shame;
Their spirit's shot to Helli
Once they flew B-26's through a living hell of flak,
And b*Voody, dying pilots gave their lives to bring them back,
But now they all play ping-pong in the Operations Shack
Their technique's gone to Helli
Yes, the lordly Boeing Fortress and the Liberator too
Once wrote the doom of Germany with con-trails in the blue
But now the skies are empty and our planes are wet with dew,
And we can't fly for Helli
You have heard your pounding .50's blaze from wings of polished steel;
The purring of your Merlin was a song your heart could feel
But now the L-5 charms you with its meanin' groanin' squeal,
And it won't climb for Helli
Hap Arnold built a fighting team that sang a fighting song
About the Wide Blue Yonder in the days when men were strong,
But nowwe're closely supervised for fear we may do wrong
The Air Force's Gone to Helll
We were cocky, bold and happy when we played the angels' game
We split the Blue with buzzing and we rolled our way to fame
But now that's all Verboten and we're all so goddam tame#
Our spirit's shot to Helli
One day I buzzed an airfield with another reckless chap;
We flew a hot formation with his wingtip in my lap
But there's a new directive and we'll have no more of THAT.'
Or you will burn in Hell!
19*
mmm
Have you ever climbed a Lightning up to where the air is thin?
Have you stuck her long nose downward just to hear the screaming din?
Have you tried to do it lately? Better not - you'll auger in.1
And then you'll sure catch Helli
Mine eyes get dim with tears when I recall the days of old,
When pilots took their choice of being old or young and bold,
Alas; I have no choice and I will live to be qplte oldi
But smile a while, my pilots, though your eyes may still be wet;
Some day we'll meet in Heaven where the rules have not been set,
And God will show us hofr to buzz and roll and really let
She Air Force Fly like Hell.'
FINAL CHORUS: (With a note of Hope)
GloryJ Wo more Regulations
Rip them down at every stationI
Ground the guy that tries to make one!
AND LET US FLY LIKE HELL!
20.
SPOT PROMOTION
(Tune: Cold, Cold Heart)
I've tried so hard, my friend, to think
That rank was -worth a lot
But now you've gone and got yourself
Promoted to a spot
Your job is one that could he done
By any FFC
How can I get your ass shipped out
And get that spot for me?
You'll he a full bird soon, my friend
Of that I have no doubt
The T/O's being changed right now
They ripped it inside out
Lieutenant General, Wing CO,
The staff all gets one star
At least we*11 have some rank around
To help us fight the war.
Another week or two in grade
We'll put you in again
You needn't wait to learn your job
That's for enlisted men
The only thing I envy is
The talent that you got
How can I get your ass shipped out
And get your open spot?
AIN'T A BLOODY SHAME?
We were fat back in the Truman's
Drinking beer, and sometimes wine
When they said, You're going over
To Korea's fighting line/*
We were young and we were eager
To get one hundred and go home
But they slipped the finger to us
And left us here - far o'er the foam.
Now they sit in EEAF Headquarters
Making rules so much unkind
It's the same the whole world over
Isn't it a bloody shame!
Shed a tear when you think of us,
Sitting here on old K-2
While you sleep with all our sweethearts
As we fly the old Yalu.
21.
COME AMD JOIN THE AIR FORCE
Come on and join the Air Force, and get your flying pay
You never have to work at all, just fly around all day
While others toil and study hard, and soon grow old and "blind
We'll take the air without a care, and you will never mind.
CHORUS: You111 never mind, you'll never mind
Oh, come and join the Air Force
And you will never mind!
Cease on and get promoted as high as you desire
You*re riding on a gravy train when yourre an Air Force flyer
But just when you're about to he a general you'll find
The engine cough, the wings fall off, and you will never mind!
And when you loop and spin her and with an awful tear
You find yourself without your wings but you will never care
For in about two minutes more another pair you'll find
You'll fly with Pete and his angels sweet, and you will never mind!
You're flying over the ocean, you hear your engine spit
You see your prop come to a stop, the God Damn engine's quit
The ship won't float, you cannot swim, the shore is miles behind
Oh, what a dish for the crabs and fish, but you will never mind!
I fly up to the Yalu in my F-eighty-six
And here's one thing that you can send to Congress iii your TWX
I've only got one engine, Jack, and if that bastard quits
It will be up there all by itself 'cause I will shit and git!
Oh, someday you'll meet a MiG-15> he'll shoot you down in flames
No use in belly aching and calling the bastard names
You'll lose your wings, don't worry Mac, another pair you'll find
You'll fly with Pete and the angels sweet and you will never mind!
Oh, we're just a bunch of Air Force lads, and we don't give a damn
About the groundling's point of yiew and all that sort of ham
We want a hundred thousand ships of each and every kind
And now we've got our own Air Force, so we will never mind!
MEET ME IN KYOTO
(Tune: Meet Me In St.Louis)
Meet me in Kyoto Moto
Meet me at the shrine
Take your shoes off when you enter
Or you'll pay a fine
We will have some Sukiyaki
Then we'll have a cup of Saki
If you'll meet me in Kyoto Moto
Meet me at the shrine!
22.
WHEN YOUR LEAVES HAVE TURNED TO SILVER
When your leaves have turned to silver
Will you love us just the same?
Oh, we* 11 always call you: ("Any old dirty Ma&y)
Isn't it a bloody shame?
To the days at Itazuke
And the parties that we knew
When your leaves have turned to silver
You can stick them up your fluei
("Songs of the ^9th" by Lt Effinger)
CO-PILOT'S LAMENT
(Tune 5 The Cowboy * s Lament)
Ifm the co-pilot* I sit on the right
It's up to me to be quick and bright
I never talk back or I'll have regrets
And I must remember what the captain forgets
I make out the flight plan and study the weather,
Pull up the gear and stand by to feather,
Make out the mail forms and do the reporting
And fly the old craft when the captain is snoring.
I take the readings and adjust the power,
Put on the heaters when we're in a shower,
Tell where we are on the darkest nigjht
And do all the book work without any light.
I call for my captain and but him Cokes
I always laugh at his corny jokes,
And once in a while when his landings are misty
I come through with "Gawd, but it's gusty"!
All in an, I'm a general stooge
As I sit to the right of this man Scrooge
But maybe some day with great under standing
He'll soften a bit and give me a landing.
("The Three Hats", Vol. II)
23*
HERE'S TO THE REGULAR AIR FORCE
(liuie: Mfcr Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
In peace times the regulars are happy
In peace tjbaes they1re happy to serve
But let them get into a fracas
And they* 11 call out the God Damn reserves!
CHORUS: Call out, Call out
Call out the God Damn reserves, reservesI
Call out, Call out
Oh, call out the God Damn reserves*
Herefs to the Regular Air Force
They have such a wonderful plan
They call up the God Damn reservist
Whenever the shit hits the fan J
They call up every old pilot
They call up every young man
The reservists they go to Korea
The regulars stay in Japan!
Herefs to the Regular Air Force
With medals and badges galore
If it weren*t for the God damn reservist
Daeir ass would he dragging the floor!
CHORUS: Fight on, Fight on
Fight on Regular Air Force
Fight on, Fight on»#»
Fight on, Fight on
Fight on Regular Air Force
Fight on!
(The first verse and chorus of this song appear in "Songs of the Friendly
8th.11 Since they are sung to the same tune and are in the same spirit
as the song from the 58th Fighter-Bomber Wing's "Repulsive Rhapsodies",
they are hereby combined*)
24*
TO THE REGULARS
(Tune: Mr. and Mrs. Mississippi)
I won't forget Korea,
I can't forget Kunsan
For Syngaan Bhee and Stalin
Have made me feel at home,
I flew across the bombline
And got a hole or two
But all I got was a crock of shit
From you and you and you. %
CHORUS: Oh I was called to risk my ass
And save the U. B« too.
But all I got was a crock of shit
From you and you and you*
The AA was terrific
The small arms were intense
While flyboys bombed the front lines
Die division did the rest.
While the regulars held their desk jobs,
The reserves were called enmasse
For the U.H. knew the air reserve
Was the one to save their ass. (REPEAT CHORUS)
I love you dear old USA
With all my aching heart
If I hadn't joined the damn reserves
Wefd neverfve had to part.
But we won't cry and we won't squawk
For we are not alone
For one of 1hese days the regulars' 11 come
And we can all go home. (REPEAT CHORUS)
Now we don't mind the hardships
We've faced them in the past
But we wonder if our Congressmen
Have had forties up their ass
We have to fight to save the peace
That's what the bastards said
But when you check the casualties
You'll find no senators dead. (REPEAT CHORUS)
I'm going to raise a family
When this war is through
I hope to have a bouncing boy
To tell my stories to.
But someday when he grows up
If he joins the Air Reserve
I'll kick his ass from dawn to dusk
For that's what he'll deserve. (REPEAT CHORUS)
("Songs of the Friendly 8th")
25*
LAMENT OF THE RESERVIST
(Tune: Cigareets and Whiskey)
I was a civilian and flew on weekends
No sweat about clanks and no sign of the "bends
But I am a retread and older I grow
Now I fly a Mustang, itfs old and itfs slow.
CHORUS: Sinuiju and Anak, Sinanju and Sinmak
They111 drive you crazy, they111 drive you insane
Quad fifties and forties, and one hundred sorties
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane I
Oh, once I was happy and I flew a jet
At 35,000 how fat can you get?
They sent me to Nellis for six weeks to train
They gave me a Mustang, it's no aero-plane!
We strafed and we "bombed and we shot air to air
Then off to Korea, we're fouled up for fair
We came to K-Four-Six to fly with this Group
My hair's turning gray and my wings have a droop!
I flew xay first mission and it was a snap
Just follow the leader, don't look at a map
But now I've got eighty and lead a sad flight
Go out on armed recce and can't sleep at night!
Went up to MiG Alley, S-2 said no sweat
If I had not looked 'round, I'd he up there yet
Six MiGs jumped our ass and the Leader yelled "Break!"
Sixty-one and three thousand, how my knees did shake!
If I live through a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to shove it, my ass is too sore
They can ram it and jam it for all that I care
Just give me a Wing job, a desk and a chair!
TOO LONG AT ITAZUKE
Too long at Itazuke
Look just like a little gook
Eyes that slant, nose that's flat
Speak Japanese, "You caught a muskrat"
Me work in rice-paddy
Go Geisha house and drink saki
Me jo-to Number One Japanese hoy-san!
26.
KONI-RI AHD AMtMG
(Tune: Cigareets and Whiskey)
Once I vas happy and had a good deal
Flew Fox-eighty-sixes at old Victorville
They asked for a volunteer, said "I'll take you"
The next thing I knew I was stuck in Taegul
CHORUS: Kuni-ri and Antung, and Wild Wild Pyong-yang
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane
Quad fifties and forties and one hundred sorties
They'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane I
We go down to briefing while it is still night
We lift off the runway "before it is light
We form in the gloom and we're off on our way
We're over the target before it is day.
We're up to the Yalu, there's eons overhead
We think of the Wheels who are snug in their beds
We drop our "big tips and we "break to the right
"Josie" we cry with all of our might 1
We steer on 280, we're up in the soup
We swear that the leader is doing a loop
Break out in the clear and set down on K-2
Be careful or Willy will write about you!
If I fly a hundred and they ask for more
I'll tell them to jam it - my ass is too sore
They can ram it and jam it for all that I care
Just give me a wing job - a desk and a chairI
BARNACLE BILL THE PILOT
(Tune: Barnacle Bill the Sailor)
The Air Corps is the life for me, said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor
I'll jump my ship and leave the sea and be an Aviator
I'll fly so high I'll reach the sky, gravitation I'll defy
I'll make the people moan and cry, said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor
Pretty soon you'll lose that grin, said the fair young maiden*
Pretty soon you'll lose that grin, said the fair young'maiden.
I'm rough and tough, I know my stuff, said Bill, the Aviator
I'll fly this ship till I've had enough, said Bill, the Aviator
I know a strut, I know a fin, I know a barrel-roll and a spin
I know a prop, I know a knick, and I know an elevator.
You're out of gas and must go down, wailed the fair young maiden
You're out of gas and must go down, wailed the fair young maiden
I'm a cockeyed Finn if I'll give in, roared Bill the Aviator
I'll fight this ship with a flyer's grin, roared Bill, the Aviator
He kicked the bar and pulled the stick, which didn't seem to do
the trick
And he hit the ground like a ton of brick, poor Barnacle Bill the Sailor
Here's some flowers for his grave, sobbed the fair young maiden
Here's some flowers for his grave, sobbed the fair young maiden.
27.
HER NAME IS GRACE
HER NAME IS GRACE
SHE'S ONE OF THE BEST
AND, OH WHAT A NITE
WHEN I GAVE HER THE TEST.
I LOOKED AT HER WOTH JOY AND DELIGHT.
FOR SHE WAS MINE, ALL MINE
SHE LOOKED SO LOVELY, SO SWEET, AND SLIM.
I*D SEEN HER STRIP
I'D SEEN HER BARE
I'D FELT HER ALL OVER,
AND LOOKED EVERYWHERE.
BUT THIS WAS THE NITE I LIKED HER BEST
IF YOU'LL JUST WAIT I'LL TELL YOU THE REST.
I GOT INSIDE HER, SHE SCREAMED WITH JOY
FOR THIS WAS HER FIRST NITE ALONE WITH A BOY.
I GOT HER UP HIGH AS QUICK AS I COULD,
I HANDLED HER WILL, SHE WAS SO GOOD.
I TURNED HER OVER ON HER SIDE,
AND ON HER BACK AS WELL.
H WAS ONE GREAT BIG THRILL.
SHE'S THE BEST IN THE LAND.
THAT P-Il-7 OF THE FIGHTER COMMAND.
28.
TOAST TO TBE BLUE ANGELS
(Tune: This Old House)
This ole team gonna need revision
This ole team gonna need a crew
This ole team has thrived on gimmicks
Have you seen our pink and blue?
This ole team has frosty tailpipes
This ole team has lost its charm
And the Captain said the other day
Mfy" hoys, you've "bought the farnu
Ainft gonna need this team no longer
Ain't gonna need this team no more
Ainft got time to learn the diamond
Ain't got time to learn the score
Ain't got nerve to do a bomb burst
Or a plane to do the roll
And we're looking for the P.I.O,
Who got us in this hole!
This ole team can't fly in weather
This ole team can't fly in rain
This ole team is out of pints of blue
We're called old yellow stain
This ole team is getting lonesome
This ole team has gone astray
And we're just five angel puddy cats
Awaitin1 judgement day!
Ain't gonna need this team no longer
Ain't gonna need this team no more
Ain't got time to be a tiger
Ain't got time to give a roar
Ain't got planes that hold together
Or that G-Suit underwear
But we've got our pretty flying suits
So we don't really care I
29.
THE MAU BEHIND THE ARMOR PLATED DESK
(Tune: Strip Polka)
Early in the morning
When the engines start to roar
You can see the old goat standing
Beside his office door
He111 be sweating out the take-off
As hefs often done before
The man behind the armor plated desk*
Four times he's led us up there
And he always led us back
For he circled oe'r the I,P.
As we went in to attack
He said, "Ifm hard yet fair, boys,
But allergic to ack ack,!
The man behind the armor plated desk.
And when the target fs sighted
Who inspires our attack?
Who says, "Hundreds may gp in lads
But a few aren't coming back."
Who says, "We111 disregard the minimum
When you supress the flak"
The man behind the armor plated desk.
And when the mission1 s over
And debriefing they should be
You can search the whole field over
But not a pilot you will see
For they'll all be at the "0" club
With a mixed drink in their hand
Singing, "The Man Behind the Armor Plated Desk
30 *
MT DARLING 39
(Tune: My Darling Clementine)
In the cockpit of the cobra
Trying hard to reach the line
But alas my engine faltered
Fare thee veil my 391
CHORUS: Oh my darling, oh my darling
Oh my darling 39
You are lost and gone forever
Fare thee well my 39•
When you1re spinning very flatly
And you've got a worried mind
That's all "brother, hit the jumpsack
Bid farewell to your 39!
All the brass hats in our Congress
They have signed the dotted line
They are lucky they just "bought it
They don't fly the 39!
OLD SOLDIERS NEVER DIE
Old soldiers never die, never die, never die
Old soldiers never die, they just fade a—way*
Old sailors never buy, never buy, never buy
Old sailors never buy, they just sail away.
Old pilots never fly, never fly, never fly
Old pilots never,fly, they just draw their pqy!
WOVEN ON
When you hear the patter of tiny feet
Itfs the ij-9th in full retreat
They1 re moven on, they'll soon be gone
They've pushed around just long enough
They're moven on.
Hey GI you pissed off me
What's the matter you got no VD
I'm moven on, I'll soon be gone
Honey bucket turned over in the middle of the road
I'm moven on*
Mama-san moven down the track
With a GI baby strapped on her back
She's moven on, she'll soon be gone
If she catches GI papa-san
He'll be moven on!
31«
SAFE HAND MAIL
(Tune: Wreck of the Old 97)
Ihey gave him his orders at old Itazuke
Saying, "Bin, you're 'way behind time"
TJake this safe hand mail in your war-weary Mustang
And put 'er in Nagoya on time."
Bill tltaied and he said to his black, greasy, crew-chief
"Is my span-can ready to roll?
Just head fer down the runway and open up the throttle
And I111 call Camel Control,"
Baere was one dark cloud between Bofu and Nagoya
But Bill was a gauge pilot bold
It was in this cloud that he spun all his gyros
And his Mustang did three snap rolls•
He came roar in1 down the bottom doin1 a million miles an
hour
When the tip-tanks came off with a scream
Ihey found him in the wreck with his hand on the throttle
Still flying the Otokyo beam!
Fare-thee well, oh fare-thee well
Old Bill broke his Mustang all to hell
There'll be no more suki-haki at good old Itazuke
F&re-thee well, oh fare-thee wellJ
(From "Songs of the 8th Fighter Wing" by Capt William F. ("Borneo")
McCrystal.
A similar version of this song also appears in "Songs of the 357th FIS")
32.
OLD 97
There were ninety-seven airplanes warming up on the apron
And they dicta. *t have room for more
The first ninety-six were of new construction
But the last was a DH-4!
She was old and decrepit and the fuselage was rotten
And the wings were warped and bent
And she sagged in the middle like a cow in the pasture
A cow that was quite content.
She was old 97 &&d she had a fine record
But she hadn't been flown that year
And she creaked and groaned when they started her engine
For she knew that her time was nearo
A second lieutenant wandered into the office
And he asked for a ship for two
And they said, "Young man we are very short of airplanes
But we'll see what we can do."
"Now the first forty-seven are reserved for the majors
And the captains have the next forty-nine
But theref s one more ship on the end of the apron
The last ship upon the line*"
He was headed for Dayton, and from there to Columbus
And he had to make that flight
So he said "OK if you111 give me a clearance
I will get there sometime tonight."
Oh, he flew over Birmingham and north Alabama
And the ceiling began to fall
And the clouds closed down on the tops of the mountains
And he couldn't see the ground at all.
He turned to the left and ran into a snow storm
And he turned back to the right
And he turned around, the fog was behind hira
And the mountains were all in sight.
He flew through rain and he flew through the snow storm
Till the light began to fail
Then he found a railroad that was going his direction
And he said, "I111 get there by rail."
He flew down the valley and he dodged around the mountains
And he kept that road in sight
Till the rails disappeared through a tunnel in the mountains
And he ended his last long flight •
There was old 97 with her nose in the mountain
And her wheels upon the track
And the throttle was bent in the forward position
But the engine was facing the back.
Ladies, listen to my story
No matter how you yearn
Never say harsh words to your aviator husband
He may leave you and ne'er return. ("Songs of the Army Flyers') 33*
WBBCK OF THE OLD !97
There were 97 airplanes warming up on the apron
Not enough room you could see
Now the first ninety-six were of recent construction
But the last one was a Fifty-one D.
She was old *97 and she had a fine record
But she hadn*t been flown that year
And she creaked and groaned when they started her engine
For she knew that her time was near
A Second Lieutenant wa&dered into Operations
And he asked for a ship or two
And they said, "Young man, we are very short of airplanes
But we111 see what we can do,
"Now the first forty-seven are reserved for Majors
And the Captains have the next forty-nine
But there fs one more ship on the end of the apron
The last ship upon the line."
He was headed for Honju and from there to Chinhae
And he had to make that flight
So he said, "O.K., if you give me a clearance
I will get there sometime tonight*
Oh, he flew over TSaejon and the Taegu Airstrip
And the ceiling began to fall
And the clouds closed down on the tops of the mountains
And he couldn't see the ground at all.
He flew through rain and he flew through a snowstorm
Till the light began to fail
Whten he found a railroad going in his direction
And he said, "I'll get there by rail*"
He flew down a valley and he dodged through the mountains
And he kept that road in sight
Till the rails disappeared through a tunnel in the mountains
And he ended his last long flight.
There was old f97> with her nose in the mountain
And her wheels upon the track
And her throttle was bent in the forward position
But her engine was facing back!
Now ladies please listen and heed my warning
From this time ever on
Never speak harsh words to your flyboy husband
He may leave you and never return.
34.
("Songs My Mather Never Taught Me")
SONG OP THE 18TH
(Tune: Wreck of the Old 97)
Itfs a long, long road from Pusan to Pyong-yang
And the mountains are high and wide
If my engine quits, you can write off a Mustang
Cause I'm fixing to*go over the side!
Col. McBride led his boys on a mission
And the Chinks started throwing up flak
He said, "Run fem up, boys, and we'll clean out our engines
And the drinks are on the last one to get back".
Close support is a damn fine sortie
Cause you work so close to the troops
You get hit twelve times by a '20 or a '^0
And your engine coughs and sputters and poops.
So you hit the silk and you land in a meadow
And the Chinks start blazing away
And a 'copter comes along and picks up ypur elbor
Registration boys will find the rest some day.
It's a damn fine war and I love every mission
And I guess I'm here to stay
But I'd rather shag a broad by suggestive coition
Or catch the clap in old Santa Fe.
BLACKBIRDS
(Tune: Bye Bye Blackbird)
Here we stand on. the ground
We won't take off till the sun goes down
We fly blackbirds ...
Go in low and come out fast,
Keep those fighters off our. v ♦ • necks
We fly blackbirds.
No one here can ever understand us
You should hear the malarky they hand us
Mix those drinks and mix 'em right
Because we're standing down tonight
Blackbirds we fly.
35,
THE HANDSOME YOUNG AIRMAN
A handsome young airman lay dying
And as on the airdrome he lay
To mechanics who * round him came sighing
These last parting words he did say:
"Take the cylinders out of my kidneys,
The connecting rods out of my brain,
The crank-shaft out of mu backbone
And assemble the engine again*"
(From "The American Songbag" edited by Carl Sandburg* Mr* Sandburg says about
this
World War I song: "One of the several in the R*W* Gordon collection, this
version**
is from Abbe Niles who comments on how landlubber songs often are in active duty
on
the high seas and vice versa* fAny living tune is a jack of all trades* This
var-
iant of Tarpaulin Jacket ten years ago (1917) °& the flying fields was current
among men who had never heard its original*f")
A POOR AVIATOR LA* HOTG
A poor aviator lay dying
At the end of a bright summer day
His comrades had gathered around him
To carry his frapients away*
His airplane was piled on his wishbone,
His engine was wrapped round his head;
He wore a sparkplug on each elbow,
'Twas plain he would shortly be dead*
He spit out a valve and a gasket
And stirred in the sump where he lay,
To mechanics who round him came signing,
These brave parting words did he say:
"Take the magneto out of my stomach,
And the butterfly valve off my neck
Extract from my liver the crankshaft,
There are lots of good parts in this wreck*
"Take the manifold out of my larynx,
And the cylinders out of my brain,
Take the piston rods out of my kidneys
And assemble the engine againI"
(This version, with one or two minor changes, appears in the following books:
"GI SONGS", "Songs of SOC", "Songs of the Army Flyers")
36.
BOOZIN* BUDDIES
A fighter pilot lay dying
Die medics had left him for dead
All around him women were crying
And these are the words that he said:
"•Bake the tailpipe out of my stomach
Take the turner out of my brain
Take the turbine out of my kidney
And assemble the unit again.
For we are the boys who fly high in the sky
Bosom buddies while boozin1
We are the boys they send out to die
Bosom buddies while boozin*
Up in headquarters they sing and they shout
Talking of things they know nothing aboutI
We are the boys who fly high in the sky
Bosom buddies while boozin*
Bosom buddies while boozin*
Bosom buddies while boozin'"
37.
!EEE DOG PILOT'S LAMENT or WE WILL ABORT AGAIN
Oh come all ye pilots to our Rocket Meet,
We will abort again*
A low to the West and a low to the East,
We will abort again.
CHORUS: We will-a, we will-a, we will abort
We will-a, we will-a, we will abort
We will abort, we will abort,
We will abort again.
We waited two months for the weather to clear,
We will abort again.
We sat at the Club and we slopped up our beer,
We will abort again.
Away went the weather and out came the sun,
We will abort again
The pilots were ready to make their one run,
We will abort again
The Colonels and Generals went out for a look,
We will abort again,
The tow ship got airborne and dropped the damned hook,
We will abort again.
The dart crew was ready that cold windy day,
We will abort again
The wind came along, blew our new dart away,
We will abort again.
When finally they got that dart into the air,
We will abort again.
Horsefly took a look, and the dart wasn't there,
We will abort again.
The dart drawn on paper looks good to the eye,
We will abort again
According to Orville the damned thing won't fly,
We will abort again.
We abandoned the dart with the greatest aplomb,
We will abort again
Sent two thousand miles for the Newcastle Bomb
We will abort again.
3ft.
MM ON THE FLYING TRAPEZE
Once they were happy, completely at ease
They flew their F-80's like a swingin1 trapeze
They looped fem they rolled 'em, they bounced DC-3's
But alas boys their wings have been clipped.
One day they approached Itazuke
Jet leader called echelon rigjat
Mustangs at nine o'clock level
Let's see if 8th Fighter will fight*
The F-80's broke left and the Mustangs broke right
I think they see us says Jet four in fright
They're all pullin1 streamers says Jet number three
Let's go home this is no place to be.
But the Mustangs had sighted the boogies
They pulled through the top of a loop
They dove on the trembling F~80's
My God have they scrambled the Groooooop.
The Jets headed home at a hundred percent
In fact number four had the throttle stop bent
Back to Misawa to Misawa they went
Never to bounce any more.
ADC PILOT'S LAMENT
(This Old House)
ADC's got General Partridge, SAC's got Curt LeMay,
TAC and CREWTAF get the glory while we pull alert all day.
Scramble ulcers get the weakest, grey wall virus gets the rest.
Try to take a short vacation; General Partridge pulls a test.
CHORUS:
I ain't gonna need my wife no longer, ain't gonna see my kids no more.
Ain't got time to go to finance, can't get near the liquor store.
All my golf clubs gettin' rusty and my game has gone to hell,
All I do is sit and wait for; General Patty's scramble bell.
We take off into the darkest in the rain and sleet and snow,
We go on a scramble vector of controllers in the know.
There ainft really nothin' to it for our mission we all know,
General Patty's right behind us with his motto "GO GO GO".
CHORUS .....
39.
FAREWELL TO
(Red River Valley)
From this pasture they say he was flying,
Back in Fiscal year nineteen ought two,
When the Jennies -were still on the board yet,
_______________we1 re gonna miss you.
The mechanic he started the engine,
It fired up "with a terrible sound,
Dear old____________elimbed into the cockpit,
Goosed the engine and leaped off the ground.
Now the night it was dark and so stormy,
And that airplane it bucked and it rolled,
There was three feet of snow in the cockpit,
And poor__________fs rear end was so cold.
But the mail had to go through on schedule,
So he headed due west with a grin,
For this man was a Signal Corps pilot,
On his tunic he wore wings of tin.
He was high ofer South Bend when it happened,
When the engine it ran out of gas,
There was no published IFR letdown,
Looked like was bustin1 his
But the mail had to go through on schedule,
So he stuck out his arms like a crow,
And he flapped on to his destination,
Got a medal for being so bold.
Then they sent him up North to Alaska,
And since then he*s been running the show.
Though wefve long since quit flying the Jennies,
Donft tell him and itfs sure he won't know.
40.
I'VE GOT THE CLANKS
(Youfre just in love)
I hear vectors when the air is clear,
I see bogies when there's no one near,
I get clanky "when Pi in the sky
Way up so high,
On GCI
I get shaky when I'm in the soup,
Think I111 transfer "back into the Group,
Red lights in the cockpit of the Deuce
Are out to clobber me,
I've got the clanks*
We don't need supervision,
We don't need T.O. revision,
We don't need directives from the Group.
We all know what's the matter,
We just get a bunch of chatter,
When we try to get the latest poop.
Colonel Chitty has no feeling,
His letters are not revealing,
Never says if he's pleased or not*
There is nothing he can buy,
To help me when I'm in the sky,
'Cause I'm not brave, I've got the clanks I
• LONG LIVE THE IRISH
THE FIRST AMERICAN SOLDIER TO KILL A JAP WAS MIKE MURPHY
THE FIRST AMERICAN PILOT TO SINK A JAP SHIP WAS COLIN KELLY
THE FIRST FLYER TO SHOOT DOWN A JAP PLANE WAS BUTCH O'HARE
THE FIRST AMERICAN TO BE DECORATED BY THE PRESIDENT WAS PAT DOWNS
THE FIRST GUARDSMAN TO SPOT A GERMAN SHIP WAS RED 0'TOOLE
THE FIRST AMERICAN ADMIRAL TO BE KILLED LEADING HIS SHIP INTO COMBAT
WAS DAN O'CALLAHAN
THE FIRST AMERICAN SHIP TO BE NAMED FOR BROTHERS WHO SACRIFICED THEIR
LIVES TOGETHER IN COMBAT WERE THE SULLIVANS
THE FIRST SONOF A BITCH TO GET FIVE NEW TIRES FROM THE RATION BOARD
WAS NATHAN GOLDSTEIN
a.
JET PILOTS IN THE SKY
Tune: Qiost Riders in the Sky
An old F-bQ was airborne one dark and windy day;
And as he raised his landing gear, you could hear the pilot pray
Keep all those buckets in the wheel and 1*11 he safe and sound
Don't let that fire go out, dear Lord, 'til I am on the ground*
Yippi I Ya Yippi I Yo-o-o
Jet Pilots in the sky --*-.———
Those Flying Fiends are here to stay, they say they1 re very mean,
And you an know we1 re famous since 1917———.*.
Though we may work on Holidays and weekends just the same,
Those Pukin pups make History* Oh, bless that famous name.
Yippi I Ya Yippi I Yo~o~o
Jet Pilots in the Sky—--------
And as our 80fs leave the ground, their tails are spouting flame.
The pilots all may go through Hell, but they fly fem just the same
The Crew Chiefs work forever to keep them flying high,
And watch with satisfaction, as their plane goes screaming by.
Yippi I Ya Yippi I Yo-0-0
Jet Pilots in the Sky-----——
Day and night our pilots fight, to live up to their name
Other pilots come and go, but ours fly on to fame.
They're going to fly forever in that range up there on high;
They cuss and cry, live or die; Jet Pilots in the Sky.
Yippi I Ya Yippi I Yo~o-o
Jet Pilots in the Sky—————y-----
42.
JET PILOTS IN THE SKY
An F-102 got airborne one dark and windy; day,,
And as he raised his landing gear yon could hear the pilot pray.
Keep all those "buckets in the "wheel and 1*11 he safe and sound,
Don't let that fire go out dear Lord, till I am on the ground.
Yippi I Ay, Yippi I 0-0-0,
Jet pilots in the sky.
Those flying fiends are here to stay, they say they're very mean,
And you all know we're famous since 1917>
Though we may work on holidays and weekends just the same,
Those deuces do make history, oh bless that famous name.
Yippi I Ay, Yippi I 0-0-0,
Jet pilots in the sky.
And as our deuces leave the ground, their tails are spouting flame,
The pilots all may go through hell, "but they fly 'em just the same,
The Crew Chiefs work forever to keep them flying high,
And watch with satisfaction as their plane goes screaming by.
Yippi I Ay, Yippi I 0-0-0,
Jet pilots in the sky.
Day and night our pilots fight to live up to their name,
Other pilots come and go, hut ours go on to fame,
They're going to fly forever in that range up there on higji,
They cuss and cry, live or die; Jet pilots in the sky.
Yippi I Ay, Yippi I 0-0-0,
Jet pilots in the skyyyyyy.......
OLE GEHERAL HECKASON
Ole General Necrason he woke up one day,
He said, "Faith and begorie, I must earn mj pay,
So we'll transfer alert crews where housing is not,
Send a few hundred airmen to some lonely spot."
PCS,
Yes, All PCS.
So he called a big meeting, assembled his staff,
Said, "It soon will be winter so give them some chaff,
On very short notice, more schools, TDY,
Cause I really just love to hear full Colonels cry."
PCS,
Yes, All PCS
And with built in confusion his personnel shop,
Cut the General some orders that he couldn't stop,
Himself he had shafted, to Alaska he went,
That's completed staff action, one hundred percent.
PCS,
Yes, all PCS,.,.
PILOT'S LAMENT
(Tune: If I Had The Wings Of An Angel)
Now listen all you pilots and you airmen
We wiH tell you a story sad but true
Of many -who wear wings "but are not happy
Gather f round while we sing this song to you!
The many who wear wings "but are not happy
Wear a smile on their lips, not in their hearts
They1 re overjoyed to wear the "badge of an airman
But are sad in getting off to such "bad starts.
A reason there must "be for discontentment
Why the gloom as dark as any a "blacked-out loop
Just ask them one and all and they will tell you
I'm not a member of the___________Fighter Group!
TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS HOME TO THE FODCS
Whatta you gonna do with a drunken pilot
Whatta you gonna do with a drunken pilot
Whatta you gonna do with a drunken pilot
Early in the morning?
Put him in the nose of a B-kj bomber
Put him in the nose of a B-^7 bomber
Put him in the nose of a B-lf-7 "bomber
Early in the morning.
We1 re going to bomb the sick and wounded
We're going to bomb the sick and wounded
We1 are going to bomb the sick and wounded
Early in the morning.
We1 re gonna bomb the old and decrepit
We're gonna bomb the old and decrepit
We1 re gonna bomb the old and decrepit
Early in the morning ♦
Ten thousand dollars home to the folks
Ten thousand dollars home to the folks
An engine goes ka-flo^ey - another pilot croaks
And itfs ten thousand dollars home to the folks.
44*
MOTHER TAKE DOWN YOUR SERVICE FLAG
Mother take down your service flag
Your son's in the S.O.S.
Hefs S«0.L. but what the hell
He never suffered less
He may be thin but that's from gin
Or else I miss my guess
So mother take down your service flag
Your son's in the S.O.S.
Mother put out your golden star
Your son's going up in a Sop
The wings are weak, the ship's a freak
She's got a rickety prop
The motor's junk, the pilot's drunk
He's sure to take a flop
So mother put out your golden star
Your son's going up in the Sop ♦
EIGHT BUCKS A DAY
Open up the throttle till the needle hits the peg
Eight bucks a day - Eight bucks a day
Dive and roll and loop her till she's wingless as a keg
Eight bucks a day is the pay
Close the gate - Lock the door
Cause we won't come back to Langley any more
We'll land at every flying field to San Francisco Bay
Eight bucks a day is the pay.
I WANT TO GO HOME
(Air Service Stanza)
I want to go homel I want to go homel
The gas tank is leaking, the motor is dead,
The pilot is trying to stand on his head.
Take me back to the groundj I don't want to fly upside down!
Oh, my! I'm too young to die I
I want to go home.
air force mm
(Tune: Quebec)
Lord, guard and guide the men who fly-
Thro1 the great spaces of the sky-
Be with them traversing the air
In darkening storms or sunshine fair.
Thou "who doth keep with tender might
The "balanced birds in all their flight
Thou of the tempered winds, be near,
That, having Thee, they know no fear.
Control their minds with instinct fit
What time, adventuring, they quit
The firm security of land;
Grant steadfast eye and skillful hand.
Aloft in solitudes of space,
Uphold them with Thy saving grace
0 God, protect the men that fly
Thro' lonely ways "beneath the sky.
THE FIGHTING 68TH
(Tune: McNamara's Band)
We*re here to tell a story of Squadron 68
Came over from Ashiya to join the Fighting Eighth
Theyre sitting here before us, tapping up the brew
They don't belong in a Fighter Group, but what can Chitty do?
CHORUS: La da da da - What can he do?
La da da da - What can he do?
La da da da - What can he do?
Oh, they don11 belosg in a fighter group
But what can Chitty do?
They fly their old nite fighters, they take off after dark
They don't know what they1 re doing, they*re just out for a lark
They never brief, they always beef, fly strictly on a hunch
Their call should be "Banana" cause they fly in such a bunch!
You know we also fly at night, thank God the times are few
We often hear nite fighters saying "Moonshine, is that you?"
"Moonshine, this is Feminine, this is Feminine I Ssay
Wonft you tell those nasty Shooting Stars to land, theyfre in our way!"
46.
PASDE CALAIS
Nov you can send me twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But don't send me over the Rhur
Send me to Paris or a target in France
Any old place that I might have a chance
You can send me twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But donft send me over the Rhur.
You may think I'm wacky
But I'm only slightly flacky
Don't send me over the Rhur
Now the alert's on the phone
And the target's Cologne
My God, that's on the edge of the Rhur.
Send me to Bremen or old Potsdam town
Any place you can see thru the flak to the ground
You can send me twice a day
To the Pasde Calais
But don't send me over the Rhur
For even when I'm starting
I'm planning on aborting
Don't send me over the Rhur.
IF YOU FLY
If you fly an 89 you must be dumb deaf and blind
For your life ain't worth a dime, what's your scheduled blow-up time?
CHORUS* Will you go boom today? Will you go boom today?
Two blew up yesterday, Allison ain't here to stay.
If you fly an 86 you must really get your kicks
Bouncing the all-weather boys, playing with their radar toys.
If you fly a 9k, you will never holler more
For your lot we don't pine, it's better than an eighty-nine.
If you fly a Thunderjet you will really have no sweat
For your life you will not pound, the clunker won't get off the ground.
HAIL TO THE SQUADRON
Hail to the Squadron, Hail to the Corps
Hail to all airmen who braved the skies before
We're on the road to victory, thumbs up forever more
Hail to the squadrons flying high
Hail to the men who rule the sky
Hail to the Army, the Army Air Corps.
47.
BLOOD ON YOUR TUNIC
An Air Force lieutenant to Pusan did stole
He'd just come back from a raid on Seoul
When an old M«P. Sgt said, "Pardon me sir,
There fs blood on your tunic and mud on your knees ♦ "
CHORUS: La de a, La de a
There's blood on your tunic
And mud on your knees*
Now look here Sgt, you bloody damn fool
Ifve just come back from a raid on Seoul
Where ack ack is flying and comforts are few
And brave men are dying for bastards like you.
Now the old MUP* Sgt said, "Pardon me, sir,
But on the Lt« I meant no slur
But the girls down in Pusan are hard to please
With blood on your tunic and mud on your knees J
SPRING TIME ON THE YALU
When it's spring time on the Yalu and the MiGs come out to play
And the contrails run in circles, fighter pilots earn their pay
We'll hold our triggers steady when our sights are zeroed in
WefH hold our glasses ready when they pass out rum and gin.
When it's spring tiaie on the Yalu and the napalm is in bloom
And your 50s do the talking and it1 s just a MiG and you
Once again you'll hear me whisper that my fuel is running low
When it's spring time on the Yalu then it's time for us to go.
48 ♦
KOREA
(Tune: Ifm Looking Over A ij-Leaf Clover)
I'm looking over a well fougftt over
Korea that I abhor
One for the money
And two for the show
Ridgeway said stay
But we want to go*
There's no use explaining
Why we're remaining
We got what we were fighting for
KOREA, KOREA, and diarhea
To make the rice grow some morel
SEOUL CITT SUE
I drove a herd of oxen down
Till I reached old Bon Chong way
And there I met a Gook girl
Who said she'd like to play.
Her clothes were of a dirty blue
Her hands and feet were too,
I asked her what her name was,
She said, "Seoul City Sue."
CHORUS: Seoul City Sue, Seoul City Sue,
Your hair is black, your eyes are too
I'd swap my honey cart for you.
Seoul City Sue, Seoul City Sue,
No one smells of Kimchie,
Like my sweet Seoul City Sue.
Oh, Korea, I must admit
I owe a lot to you
I came here from America
To find Seoul City Sue
Someday I'll take her back with me,
And buy her perfumes too,
So people can't be singing,
"Here comes Seoul City Sue."
("Korea" is from "Songs of the 357th" "Seoul City Sue"
is from "Songs of the Friendly 6th")
49.
PUSAN U
(Time: Sioux City Sue)
We were roaming round the countryside
fTvras down near Pusan Bay
We stepped into a local bar
To pass the time away.
I met a gal from old Chin Ju
She was a sight to view
I asked her where she came from
and she said, "Pusan U."
CHORUS: Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
The finest school in all the land
The University that's grand
Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
I hail my Alma Mater
Oh Pusan U, to you.
I enrolled in that great college
Founded "by Kim Pac Su
fTwas built of honeybuckets
So they called it Pusan U
The smell it was terrific
But fortune saw me throtigjh
So now I lift this glass
To the school of Pusan U.
CHORUS: Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
Your course is good for engineers
A frames, ox carts pulled by steers
Oh Pusan U, Oh Pusan U
I hail my Alma Mater
Oh Pusan U, to you.
I saw a girl most beautiful
She was a sight to view
She won a beauty contest
She was crowned Miss Pusan U
They spotted her in Hollywood
Now she's a star there too
When asked to what she owes her fame
She says, "Oh Pusan U.ff
We have an A-l baseball team
We wih,: our games straight through
They ask us where we come from
And we say, "Pusan U"
We have a pitcher who is tops
Our batters are good too
And every time we come to bat
The crowd'yells, "Pusan TH"
AIR FORCE 801
(Itene: Wabash Cannonball)
Listen to the rumble, and hear old Merlin roar
Ifm flying over Moji, like I never flew "before
Hear the mighty rush of the slipstream, and hear old Merlin moan
I111 wait a bit and say a prayer and hope it gets me home.
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
Ifm turning on the downwind leg, my prop has overrun
My coolant's overheated, the gauge says 1-2-1
You'd better call the crash crew, and get them on the run*
Air Force 801, this is Itazuke tower
I cannot call the crash crew, this is their coffee hour
You're not cleared in the pattern, now that is plain to see
So take it on around again, we have some VIP.
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I'm turning on the downwind leg, I see your biscuit gun
My engine's runnin' ragged, and the coulant's gonna blow,
I'm gonna prang a Mustang, so look out down below.
Itazuke tower, this is Air Force 801
I'm turning on the final, and running on one lung
I'm gonna land this Mustang, no matter what you say
I've gotta get my charts fixed up before that Judgement Day.
Air Force 801, this is Judgement Day'
You're in Pilot's Heaven, and you are here to stay
You just bought a Mustang, and you bought it well
The famous Air Force 801 was sent straight down to Hell.
51.
BLAK SHOWERS
(Tune: April Showers)
Although flak showers may come your way
They111 bring the panic, that makes you say
"Mfr* fuel is Josephine, I'm going home
So if ypu want to stay and fight, you may
Stay and fight aloneJ
Ifve added throttle, I'm on my way
Ifll live to come back some other day
So keep on strafing that position
And knock it out for me
I'm just a close supporter, can't you see!
THE RIVER RAN RED
(Tune: The Good Ship Titanic)
Number One was having fun, Number Two got quite a few
Number Four got some more as he said
Oh, the river ran red with the blood of the dead
as we came around and tried to get some more*
The road was full of ruts, and the ruts were full of guts
Little children sucking tits had them shot right from their mitts.
Oh the river ran red with the blood of the dead
as we came around and tried to get some more*
There were women in the crowd, little children cried aloud
But they all carried guns for the foe
There were some who turned around, when they heard that
awful sound
As we cam around and tried to get some more.
Oh it seemed an awful crime, as we shot them in their prime
But they got Number Three, don't you see
Yes, they shot him down with flak, and they broke his bloody
back
As we came around and tried to get some more*
(Repeat first verse)
52.
HAPALM
(Tune: The Good Ship Titanic)
It was up "by Sopori where the Yalu meets the sea
I was out on a recce to see what I could see
When I spied a farmer man with his* pitchfork in his hand
It was sad when my napalm went down.
CHORUS: It was sad, oh it was sad
It was sad when my napalm went down (hit the farmer)
There were husbands and wives
(itty bitty children lost their lives)
It was sad when my napalm went down!
It was up by Kuniri where I won my D.F.C.
I was out on a recce to see what I could see
When I spied a church below and I let my rockets go
It was sad when those rockets went down.
CHORUS: It was sad, oh it was sad
It was sad when those rockets went down (Hit the steeple)
All the people ran like hell
When those rockets hit the bell
It was sad when those rockets went down.
It was up by Sinan^u when I knew that I was through
The 50fs and 40fs had shot my turbine through
It was when I hit the silk - oh my God I strained my milk!
It was sad when that pilot went down!
CHORUS: It was sad, oh it was sad
It was sad when that pilot went down (hit the bottom)
There were husbands and wives
(itty bitty children lost their lives)
It was sad when that pilot went down.
MIL CUTTERS
(Tune: Cold, Cold Heart)
I tried so hard, Wild Bill, to cut
That streak of railroad track
But Ifm afraid that all I did
Was dodge that flying flak
I know that one is all it takes
To blow my ass apart
Why can't I get just one rail cut
And melt your cold, cold heart?
THE OLD BOMBARDMENT GROUP
Fill that barrel up - We'll drink a loving cup - To bombers one by one
Drown your sorrow and forget tomorrow - For tomorrow never comes
Here's a health to Anti Aircraft - Here's a bumper to Pursuit, God help them
Join in all of you - We'll drink a barrel to the Old Bombardment Group.
_______ _. 53.
EARLY ABORT
(Tune: MaeNamara's Band)
Oh, my name is Col. Napier and lfm the leader of the group
If you wiH step into my tent "I'll give you all the poop
I'll tell you where the Commies are and where the flak is black
I'll he the first one off the deck and I'll he the first one back!
CHORUS: Early abort, avoid the rush, early abort, avoid the rush
Early abort, avoid the rush, oh, the Liberty Squadron's on paradeI
My name is Major Swan and I lead old Liberty
And if I go on rail cuts, my boys will follow me
But if you say Pyong-yang, I111 tell you what I'll do
Get into your plane and go ahead, and I'll wait here for you.
I'm sure you've heard of nightmares, and the things they do
But if you'll come down to the lines, you'll see they're far from true
The pilots they are ready, but let their skipper shout
And all those bastards yen at once, "My mags they won't check outJ"
And then I'm sure you know of the leaders in the wing.
Any night in the "0" Club you can hear how well they sing.
With words they fight a hell of a war, they say they wanta go too
But just you give them half a chance, and here's what they will do J
Oh, I fly the old Invader and Douglas says it's great
But when it comes to fighting _MiGs, these bastards just donft rate
I was born to be a fighter, to grapple in the blue
But when it comes to fightin' MiGs, I'll tell you what I will do!
Now when this war is over and we're back in the U.S.A.
We'll fly the planes in all war games and do what the generals say
But if we have another war and they give us the twenty-six
To hell with all the general staffs, we won't get in that fix!
54.
THE MISSIOH
(Tune: The Thing)
I looked upon the schedule and was as happy as a king
For once I had a mission when I -wasn't flying wing
I went down to the briefing room and my tiger blood went ping - -
For there sat Major Nichols and they had me on his wing!
For there sat Major Nichols and they had me on his wing!
The mission was all briefed to go at quarter after nine
Big Dog ha£ given us all the poop, the weather, it was fine
"One word of advice,11 he said to us, "Thought I hate to spoil your fun
Stay out from in front of that MiG-15>it's got too big a gun!
Stay out from in front of that MiG-15>it's got too big a gun!"
We were auger in1 around away up the are as watchful as could be
Reichman said, "Take a look at six and see what you can see."
I took a look at six of clock and much to my surprise - -
I discovered a MiG-15, right before my eyes!
I discovered a MiG-15> right before my eyes!
The cannon balls were flying around as thick as they could be
I took one look and said, says I, this ain't no place for me
I rolled it over and sucked it through and took it down below - -
Sayin1 get out of here with that BOOM BOOM BOOM and don't come back no mo!
Sayin' get out of here with that BOOM BOOM BOOM and don't come back no mo!
I shoved the throttle to the wall a runnin' for my life
gkelton said, "Come back you coward and join into the strife."
Your ass," said I with quaking voice, "This ain't no place for me."
So I racked it up and pulled it around and took it out to sea!
So I racked it up and pulled it around and took it out to sea!
I rolled it out of that six-G turn out over the briny deep
That MiG could not have followed me cause I sure racked it steep
But when I looked back, oh there he sat, as fat as he could be- -
And he was shooting those cannon balls, and they were coming right at me!
And he was shooting those cannon balls, and they were coming right at me!
I took a hit upon the wing, another in the tail
The way that Sabre was lurchin' around I'd surely have tb bail
I braced myself and said a prayer and pulled the handle red - -
Oh, if I hadn't gotten out of that flaming wreck, I'd surely wound up dead!
Oh, if I hadn't gotten out of that flaming wreck, I'd surely wound up dead!
The moral of this story is, if you're up in a fight
And you've got a MiG at six o'clock, and he's all tucked in tight
DON'T ever roll out or pull it up, that's my advice to you
Cause you'll never get rid of the S.O.B. no matter what you do
Cause you'll never get rid of the S.O.B. no matter what you do.
55.
THE FORMATION
Here's a health to the formation leader, a jolly good fellow is he
He uses three star navigation, and flies on Bacardi
Here's a health to the leader's two wingmen, to the gunner within his turelle
Herefs a health to the whole damn formation, we'll fly reviews in Hell!
RED NOSE MIGS
(Tune: Shrimp Boats)
Oh, the Red Nose MiGs are comin1
Not a Sabre in sight
Oh, the Red Nose MiGs are comin1
And they want to fight
Let's hurry, hurry home
Oh won't you hurry, hurry home?
Oh, the Red Nose MiGs are comin1
Not a Sabre in sight!
MIG 15
(Tune: I T1 ought I taw a Puttycat)
I fought I taw a MiG-15
A tweeping up on me
I did, I did, I taw him
As big as he could be I
I am that great big MiG-15
Ivan is my name
And if I catch that f8^
I'll shoot him down in flame!
ON TOP OF OLD FUJI
(Tune: On Top of Old Smokey)
On top of old Fuji, all covered with snow
I lost my jet pilot from flying so low
He put on an air show, he did it for me
At altitude zero he clobbered a tree
With throttle wide open he made his last pass
On top of old Fuji he busted his ass I
56.
ON TOP OF OLD PYONGYANG
On top of old Pyongyang, all covered with flak
I lost my poor wing man, he111 never get back
For flying is pleasure, and dying a grief
And a quick-triggered Commie, is worse than a thief
For a thief will just rob you and take all you save
But a quick-triggered Commie will send you to the grave •
The grave will decay you and turn you to dust
Hot a Commie in a thousand can an old Mustang trust.
Now the moral of this story is easy to see
Don*t go to Sinanju, or old Kuniri.
Now when the "bad weather keeps the ships down
All day we can hear this, this horrible sound;
Attention all pilots - Now listen to this
There* 11 be a short meeting that you dare not miss.
Theyfll give us some lectures, then give us some more
But we have all heard them, twenty-five times or more.
Now listen you trainees, you canH fight the Group
Whatever they tell you is superfluous poop.
A NAVY PRAYER
Our father who art in Washington
Truman is thy name
The Na-vyfs done
The Air Force won
On the Atlantic as in the Pacific
Give us this day our appropriation
And forgive us our accusations
As we forgive our accusers.
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from Matthews and Johnson
For thine is the power
The B-36 and the Air Force
Forever and ever. Airmen.
57*
SERAFUT1 HOUND THE "MDOHTKnr
(Time: She'll "be Comin1 Round the Mountain)
How listen all you airmen young and old
To the tale of fighter pilots young and bold
With their fighters painted yellow
Leaping off to contact Mellow
In the crisp Korean air so blue and cold.
It was dive bomb old Sinuiju, stop the Beds
Eight one thousand pounders loaded, instant heads
Four birds lined up on the runway
Wish Ifd gone to church on Sunday
Hope we catch those lousy Commies in their beds*
Twenty thousand over Pyong Yang on Northwest
Gas Mask flight about to face the acid test
Till at last the Yalu River
Which makes my liver quiver
With flak guns lined up twenty-four abreast.
Dust clouds roll up from Antung f cross the way
Twenty swept-wing Chinese war birds out to play
Thirty-sevens, twenty-threes
All lit up like Christmas trees
Tip tanks salvoed off we leap into the fray.
Kimpo tower clear the pattern in great haste
Twenty victory rolls our pilots do with grace
It was thrilling, it was hairy
Near that privileged sanctuary
Syngjhman Rhee will soon be president of this place.
Kimpo Tower, this is Gas Mask Willie Pour
I am heading home, I'm through with this damn war
I am flying on to Taegu
Heading one-five-two to K-2
Cause they1 re sending back to Moscow for seme more.
ODE TO THE B-29
(Tune: Whiff enpoof Song)
We are four little fans who have lost our way, GROWR, GROWR, GROWR
We are four little fans who have gone astray, GROWR, GROWR, GROWR
One third pilot out on the left, one third pilot out on the right,
"George" is flying with all his mighti GROWR, GROWR, GROWR11
58.
MOONSHINE
(Tones You Are My Sunshine)
You are my moonshine, my only moonshine
You guide my fighters
When skies are grey
I chase your bogies from here to Moji
Just to find they have gone the other way.
Bae other day boys, as I was flying
I heard Moonshine Controller says
"lfve got a bogie down by Kurume
Won't you head your jet that-a-way?"
He said he had me in radar contact
And I believed him like a dope
I flew to Mfoji - and still no bogie
He had chased a fly across the scope!
You were my moonshine, my only moonshine
How could you let me down this way?
My chute was swingin* - they heard me singin*
Won*t you take that Moonshine away!
FAREWELL TO ANTUNG UNIVERSITY
Farewell to Antung University, I have risen to reality
Forty thousand is no place for me, with MIG~15s in the vicinity
With cannon balls flying all around, makes me wish that I'd stayed
the ground
I should join the infantry, or take the Navy and go out to sea«
Where did Eed Leader go, when I called out "Bingo"
That's what I'd like to know, just wherefn the hell did he go?
He called "Red Flight, BREAK RIGHT", all I did was tuck in tigit
He climbed up in the sun and that's when the fun begun I
Flashes behind me, flashes all around
Flashes above me, and flashes on the ground*
I called "Red Leader, where in the hell did you roam?
Clear your self and ride the Mach cause I am going home"!.
59*
THE ITAZUKE 0 R T
(When You Wore A Tulip)
When you flew a Mustang, and I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke ORT;
Other pilots went to briefing,
We stayed in the sack a1sleeping,
Hotter Stones you'll never see;
We were hotter than Tohasco
When Group pulled each fiasco,
We excelled in proficiency:
When you flew a Mustang, and I flew a Mustang,
In the Itazuke ORT,
MEET ME IK KYOTO
(Meet Me In St* Louis)
Meet me in Kyoto, Moto,
Meet me at the shrine
Take your shoes off when you enter,
Or you'll pay a fine
We will have some sukiyaki
Then we111 have a cup of saki, if you113
Meet me in Kyoto, Moto
Meet me at the shrine.
60.
HUTCH1 S BALLAD
(Tune: Sure a Little Bit of Heaven)
Sure, our target it was bunkers
Way out in the hills so grand
Located in Korea, right next to no-man's land
Our fans now they were G.I.'s
And they thought our Mustangs grand
As we circled ofer the target
Watching "Willie Peter" land.
But our controller was neurotic
Near the ground he wouldn't go
We toggled off our babies
And we watched them hit below
He had placed his rockets wildly
And he'd fouled the whole damn show
But when we got the grading
Sure it was Zero - Zero.
Sure a little bit of airplane fell
From out the sky one day
It landed west of Pyongyang
Not very far away
Comet Red won't be coming back
It made us very blue
But we went on to our target
And we dropped our babies true.
So, we springled it with fifties
Just to keep their heads down low
Then we hurried back to S-2
To lie about our show
When you read it in the papers
All about the 15th's capers
You will know it's propoganda
For old Barcus, bless his soul*
61.
mCHIKAWA, YOKOHAMA., ITAZUKE
(Tune: Hawaiian War Chant)
Ikchikawa, Yokohama, Itazuke
Ilachikawa, Yokohama, Itazuke
!Bachikawa * - Yokohama — Itazuke is the place I
Ah, So, (Tiachikawa); Ah, So, (Yokohama)
Ah, So, (Itazuke); Ah, So, KIMPOJ
Frozen Chosen is the place for you, my "boy
Frozen Chosen is the place for you, my boy
Frozen Chosen, Chosen Frozen, Frozen Chosen is the place!
Ah, So, (Frozen Chosen); Ah, So, (Chosen Frozen)
Ah, So, (Frozen Chosen); Ah, So, KIMPOI
ONCE THEY WERE HAPPY
(Tone: Man on the Flying Trapeze)
Once they were happy, completely at ease
They flew their F~80's like a swingin' trapeze
They looped fem, they rolled fem, they bounced DC-3*s
But alas boys, their wings have been clipped!
One day they approached Itazuke
Jet leader called "Echelon right I
Mustangs at nine o!clock level
Let's see if 8th Filter will fi^ati"
The F-80's broke left and the Mustangs broke right
I think they see us, says Jet Four in fright
They're an pullin1 streamers, says Jet Number !Ehree
Let's go home, this is no place to be I
Bae jets headed home at a hundred percent
In fact Number Four had the throttle stop bent
Back to Misawa, to Misawa they went
Never to bounce any morel
62.
SONG OP R AND R
(itoe: Moonlight on the Wabash)
When the ice is on the rice at Tachikawa
And the Sake in the cellar starts to freeze
I don't want to see my wife in San Francisco
I just want to see my little NipponeseI
THE PO RIVER VALLEY*
(Tone: Red River Valley)
To the Po River Valley we*re going
For to get us some trains and some tracks
But if 1 had my say-so about it
Ifd still be back home in the sack*
Come and sit by my side at the briefing
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
Bo the Po River Valley we're going
And I'm flying Four in Flight Blue*
We went for to check on the weather
$nd they said it was clear as can be
Now 1 lost my wingaan 'round the field
And the rest augered in out at sea.
S-2 said there's no flak where we're going
S-2 said there's no flak on the way
There's a dark overcast o'er the target
I'm beginning to doubt what they say*
A spitfire went by like a whirlwind
And a Mustang went by like a breeze
And a C*46 with one feathered
Went by towing five L~3's.
To the Po River Valley we're going
And many strange sights we will see
But the one there that held my attention
Was the flak that they threw up at me.
63.
6HEEBS, CHEERS
(Notre Dame Song) Songs of the 71st
Cheers, cheers to old Col, Glen
He's got the situation in hand
Came to us right straight from FEAF
As wing commander he canft he beat
He111 never falter, he'll never fall
Birds on his shoulder win over all
Sends out paper by the ton
But that's how all wars are won
Cheers, cheers to old Col. Dick
As Deputy Commander he'll make things click
Came to us right straight from SAC
We hope he never has to go hack
He has been flying since days of old
In Curtis biplanes so we've been told
Flying pay he likes to earn
So loop, roll, spin, crash, and burn
Cheers, cheers to our Col* Lew
At all the parties he drinks the brew
bends us tigers out to die
In bent wing Sabres up in the sky
He's never grouchy, he's never tired
His favorite saying, "No sleep required11
Never seems to have to rest
From flying that large steel desk
Cheers, cheers to old Major Case
The fattest tiger here on the base
He likes things so neat and clean
Sweep up the floor and mop the latrine
Polish the brasswork, paint up the shack
I'm going flying but I'll be back
See you here at half past four
To paint up the shack some more
Cheers, cheers to Seventy First
Things could be better, couldn't be worse
We no longer fly all day
Now with a paint brush we earn our pay
Primary duty now can be seen
Painting the walls a nauseaus green
We're not pilots any more
For we have to paint the floor
64.
SWEET SUZANNE
SUZANNE WAS A LADY WITH PLENTY OF CLASS
WHO KNOCKED 'EM DEAD WHEN SHE WIGGLED HER
EYES AT THE FELLOWS AS GIRLS SOMETIMES DO
TO MAKE IT QUITE PLAIN SHE'S ACHING TO
TAKE IN A MOVIE OR GO FOR A SAIL
AND THEN HURRY HOME FOR A NICE PIECE OF
CHOCOLATE CAKE AND A SLICE OF ROAST DUCK
FOR AFTER A MEAL SHE'S READY TO
GO FOR A RIDE OR A STROLL ON THE DOCK
WITH ANY YOUNG MAN WITH A SIZEABLE
ROLL OF BILLS AND A PRETTY GOOD FRONT
AND IF HE TALKED SHE'D LET HIM TAKE HOLD OF HER
LILY WHITE HANDS WTTH A MOVEMENT SO QUICK
AND THEN SHE'D REACH OVER AND TICKLE HIS
CHIN WHILE SHE SHOWED HTM A TRICK LEARNED IN FRANCE
AND ASKED THE POOR FELLOW TO TAKE OFF HIS
COAT WHILE SHE SANG OF THE INDIAN SHORE
FOR WHATEVER SHE WAS — SUZANNE WAS NO BORE.
65.
SOLO: We're going to burn down the outhouse I
CHORUS: BOG!
SOLO: But I We'll build a new one J
CHORUS: HOORAY I (Repeat chorus after each solo
SOLO: Our town has only one bar!
But it's one hundred feet longI
Our bar has only one bartender!
Every ten feet!
Our barmaids wear long dresses!
Made out of cellophane!
You can't walk upstairs with our barmaids!
You've got to take the elevator!
You can't sleep with our barmaids!
They won't let you sleep!
SAMUEL HALL
Ohj my name is Samuel. Hall, Samuel Hall
Oh, Hjr name is Samuel Han, and I hate you one and all,
You're a lot of muckers all . . •
Damn your eyes!
Oh, I killed a man 'tis said, so 'tis said,
Oh, I killed a man 'tis said, for I hit him on the head,
And I left him there for dead • • •
Damn his eyes!
And they put me in the quad, in the quad,
Yes, they put me in the quad, with a chain and iron rod,
And they left me thei^ by God . * .
Damn their eyes!
Oh, the parson he did come, he did come,
Oh, the parson he did come, and he looked so bloody glum
As he talked of kingdom come • ♦ »
Damn his eyes!
And the sheriff he came too, he came too
And the sheriff he came too, with his bloody boy in blue,
They've a hanging jdh to do • * .
Damn their eyes!
So, it's up the rope 1 go, up I go,
So, it's up the rope 1 go with my friends all down below,
Saying, t1Sam, I told you so" • •' •
Damn their eyes!
Oh, let this be my knell, be my knell
Oh, let this be my knell, as ye listen to my yell
Hope to God you sizzle well • • •
Damn your eyes!
THE FAIRCHILD ABORTION
(Tune: Strawberry Roan)
Out on the flight line one cold Sunday morn
Sat the Fairchild Abortion all battered and torn
The wings were sagging, the tires were flat
The Form One had a red line, I'll bet you on that.
We fired up both engines with mixtures full rich
And took to the runway with that son of a bitch
We pushed on power, then farted and stalled
And got off the runway, no airspeed at all.
We call to the tower, "Single engine!t, we say
"What the Hell", said the tower, ftWe got them all day«
"Go Around", said the tower, HWe canft let you land
We got Gooks on the runway dragging off sand".
We milked up the flaps, and rolled in the trim
Over the tree tops that old wreck she did skim
We turned on final and free fell the gear
The Engineer murmured, "Please have no fear".
The pilot was scared, the co-pilot too
The engineer had all he could do
The runway was coming and coming up fast
One third of the runway had already passed.
We pulled off power and she settled in fast
That One-twenty-three had landed at last!
THE EWADER
Oh, the Invader is a very fine airplane
Constructed of steel and tin
It will do over three hundred level
The plane with the tailwind built in I
Oh, why did I join the Air Force
Mother, dear Mother knew best
For here I lie in the wreckage
Invader all over my chest!
67.
A BOMBER PLIES 10,000 MILES
(Tone: A Gay Caballero)
Oar bomber flies ten thousand miles,
Our bomber flies ten thousand miles,
But a bomb like a cherry
Is all it can carry
When our bomber flies ten thousand miles*
Steady boys, steady boys
Here comes another big lie.
Said pilot to bomber, "How slick,
Finding this target's no trick - -
But my God, how strange
We're fresh out of range,
Strap on my parachute quick,"
She Air Force sure has the life grand - -
Wine, women and song is the plan;
There*.s medals by baskets
For flying our caskets m*
In the M-G-M starlet commando
F-80's are certainly keen
If to daring your tendencies lean - -
But we want it said,
We'd not be caught dead
In such an infernal machine.
With our bombers the world will be shocked,
At three hundred miles they've been clocked - -
But while dreaming up tricks,
With the B-36,
We1 Ye all had our heads up and locked.
The X-l was cruising the blue,
The pilot felt something quite newj
Christ what a sensation
Where's Public Belations
The legion of merit will do.
Our bomber goes ten thousand miles,
We claim it but only with smiles,
While crashing the barrier - -
We pooh, pooh the carrier,
That really goes ten thousand miles.
Oh, we know what we're saying is true,
We got it directly from Stu,
We love the blue yonder - -
But sometimes we wonder,
Just who's doing what and to who.
So listen young men as we say,
Be careful of wings and flight pay
There's no prohibitions
On suicide missions,
Soooooo - - come - - join the Air Force today.
68.
"G" SUITS AND PARACHUTES
(Tune: Bell Bottom Trousers)
Once there was a barmaid down in Brewery Lane
Her master was so kind to her, her mistress was the same
Along came a pilot , handsome as could he
He was the cause of all her misery!
CHORUS: Singing "G" Suits and parachutes
And uniforms of blue
He'll fly a fighter
Like his daddy used to do J
He asked her for a pillow to rest his weary head
She gave it to him willfully and lost her maidenhead
And she like a silly girl, thinking it no harm
Climbed in bed beside,him, just to keep the pilot warm!
Now in the morning before the break of day
A five-pound note he handed her, and this to her did say
"Take this my darling, for all the harm Ifve done
For you may have a daughter, and you may have a son
If you have a daughter, put ribbons in her hair
And if you have a son, get the bastard in the airi*
Now the moral of my story as you can plainly see
Is never trust a pilot an inch above your knee
The barmaid trusted one and he went off to fly
Leaving her a daughter to help the time go byJ
PINAL CHORUS: Singing "G" Suits and parachutes
And uniforms of blue
She111 never fly a fighter
Like her daddy used to do J
69.
ONE HAND ON THE THROTTLE
One hand on the throttle
(Repeat)
One hand on the bottle
(Repeat)
Both feet in my pockets
(Repeat)
Off we go into the wild blue yonder
•••♦CrashJ
________________Fighter Squadron
I love a billboard, I always will
A sexy billboard gave me
My first thrill
When I was only a little child
A sexy billboard drove me wild*
HERE'S TO
Here's to______ , he's true blue
He's a drunkard through and through
He's a drunkard, so they say
Oh he might go to heaven, but he went
the other way*
So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
So drink ,f n M
LET'S HAVE A PART3T
Let's have a party, let's have seme fun
Let's have a party, the________Fighter Group is here
tonight.
Break right, break left, streamers off the wing
Snap dragons, sweet rolls, we do everything
We're the joy bpys from Itazuke
Hello, hello, hello, hello-o-oi
70*
HAIL YOU FIGHTER PILOTS
From Pohunkus, Tennessee
Came a bastard that was me
An£ my father shoveled snow
From off the street
Well, when I was very young
He f ound a diamond in the dung
And he sent me here to sing this song to youl
So hail, oh hail, you fighter pilots
Fill your glasses full of "brew
And we'll have another glass
To the latest horses ass
In the squadrons of the yellow and the blue!
I'VE GOT SIX-PENCE
I've got sixpence - jolly, jolly sixpence
I've got sixpence to last me all my life
I've got tuppence to spend, and tuppence to lend
And tuppence to send home to my wife, poor wife^
No cares have I to grieve me
No pretty little girls to deceive me
I'm happy as a lark "believe me
As we go rolling rolling home
Rolling home, rolling home
By the light of the silvery moon
Happy is the day, when the AIR FORCE gets its pay
As we go rolling rolling home*
71.
THREE DRINKING SONGS
(Tune: The Girl I Left Behind Me)
Oh......The liquor was spilt on the bar room floor
And*.. . .The "bar was closed for the night
When♦♦..Out of his hole the little mouse erept
And. ....He sat in the pale moonlight.
He......Licked up the liquor on the "barroom floor
Then....On his haunches he sat
And.♦..♦All night long you could hear him roarrr:
"Bring Oh Your God Damn Cat, Hie, Cat, Hie, Cat!
EOLL YOUR LEG 0¥ER
If all little girls were like sheep in the pasture
And I was a ram, I would make them run faster
CHORUS: So roll your leg over, oh roll your leg over
Oh roll your leg over the man in the moon I
If all little girls were like little white rabbits
And I was a hare, I would teach them "bad habits
If all little gj.rls were like little white flowers
Md I was a bee, I would buzz them for hours
If all little girls were like little white chickens
And I was a rooster, I would give them the dickens
If all little girls were like little ole turtles
And I was a turtle, I*d get in their giirdles
CHICKEN SONG
We had some chickens, no eggs would they lay
We had some chickens, no eggs would they lay
My wife said, honey itfs striking me funny
We1 re losing money, no eggs would they lay
One day a rooster flew into the yard
And caught the chickens right off their guard
They1 re laying eggs now, just like they used to da
Ever since that rooster flew iirfe©1 tfie yard
They're laying eggs now, just like they used to do
Ever since that rooster flew into the yard.
72.
PARTIES, BANQUETS, AND BALLS
(Tune: Take Me Out To The Ballgame)
Parties, Banquets, and Balls, "boys
Parties, Banquets, and Balls
As President Truman has said before
There's only one way to stay out of a war
Thatfs with Parties, Banquets, and Balls, boys,
Parties, Banquets, and Balls
We111 have Parties and Banquets
And Banquets and Parties
And Balls, Balls, Balls!
PARTIES
Oh, parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
Parties make the world go round
So-o-o-o-o-o Let's have a party!
We're never too busy to say hello
We're never too busy to say hello
We're never too busy to say hello
HELLO - HELLO - HELLO!
SQUADRON SONG
Oh, we are the boys from 3*2-5
You've heard so much about
Mothers keep their daughters in
Whenever we go out!
We're always full of whiskey
We're always full of booze
Oh, we are the boys from 3 ""2-5
Now who the hell are yooze?
As we go marching
And the band begins to P-L-A-Y
You can hear the people shouting
Raggedy Razz, Raggedy Razz
3-2-5 on paraded
Whowawa
Who owns this club, whowawa
Who owns this club, whowawa
Who owns this club, the people cried
We own this club
We own this club
Three twenty fifth squadron we replied!!
73.
LET'S HA YE A PARTY
Parties make the world go round
World go round, world go round
Parties make the world go round
Let's have a partyi
SOLO
CHORUS
Now, wefre gonna tear down the bar in the officer's club BOOI
We1re gonna build us a new bar
RAYI
It's only gonna be one foot wide
BOOJ
But itfs gonna be a mile long
RAYI
Therefs gonna be no bartenders at our bar BOOI
There1s only gonna be barmaids
RAY!
Our barmaids will wear long dresses
BOOI
Made out of cellophane
RAYJ
You can!t take our barmaids to your bunks BOOI
They take you to their bunks
RAYI
You can't sleep v/ith our barmaids
BOOI
They don't let you sleep
RAYI
Soda's gonna be ten bucks a glass
BOO!
Whiskey free
RAYI.
Only one to each pilot
BOOI
Served in buckets
RAYI
We're gonna throw all the beer in the river BOOI
And then we'll all go swimming
RAYI
Now no girls are allowed in the USO hall
BOOI
With their clothes on
RAYI
There'll be no lovin' on the dance floor
BOOI
And no dancing on the lovin' floor
RAY!
Parties make the world go round
World go round,•,•
74,
Dirty Lil, Dirty Lil
Lives on top of garbage hill
Never took a bath
Never will
Achi Ptui! Dirty Lil!
WE HEAJRD YOU WHEN YOU SANG
_________} __________, we heard you when you sang
We donft like it, but we111 listen,
For tomorrow you'll probably prangs
This is table number one,
Number one, number one,
This is table number one,
Where in the hell is two?
This is table (Squadron number)
Who in the hell are you?
Biis is table BEST OF ALL
BEST OF ALL, BEST OF ALL
This is table BEST OF ALL
Who in the hell are you?
BEER SONG
For it's beer, beer, beer,
That makes you want to cheer
In the corps, in the corps
For it's beer, beer, beer
That makes you want to cheer
In the Tro~o~o-p Carrier Corps!
Ity eyes are dim, I cannot see
I have (HI) not (HO) brought my
Specs with me!
Whiskey that makes you feel so frisky
Gin that makes you want to sin
Vodka that makes you feel too hotka
Old Saturn that makes your belly burn
Old Vermouth that makes you feel uncouth
Bourbon that makes you feel so chirpe
Wine that makes you feel so fine
75-
INTO THE AIR
Into the air, U. S. Air Force
Into the air, pilots true
Into the air, U. S. Air Force
Keep your nose up in the "blue
And when you hear the engines roaring
And the steel props start to whine
Then you can bet the U, S* Air Force
Is along the fighting line J
STRAFERS
When I was a cadet, an innocent lad
The Chaplain told me the good from the had
And of all of his words, these were his last
Never fly high and never fly fast.
So I joined up the strafers with these words in mind
And off to New Guinea did go
But when I got there I was to find
Bae strafers fly too gosh darn low##*.Ohi
We fly ofer the treetops with inches to.spare
There's smoke in the cockpit and gray in our hair
The tracers look fine as strafing we go
But brother you're flying just too gosh darn lowl
MI WILD EfED CADET
(Tune: Jty Wild Irish Rose)
Vty wild eyed cadet - he ain't learned nothing yet
He noses her down when close to the ground
Mty* wild eyed cadet I
He slips in his banks ~ if he lives, we'll all give thanksi
I hear drums beating low and men marching slow
Behind wild eyed cadets!
76.
SING HATJ.ffi.UJAB IDH MANEUVERS
Sing hallelujah for staaeuvers
For laaneuvers we*re on our way
Now don't be grieving cause we're leaving
We'll be back the first of May-
Good times lie before us
Not that you bore us
But we like to get away
Sing hallelujah for Bianeuvers
For maneuvers we're on our way «
LOOK AT THE EABS ON HIM
I heard they wanted men to fight as aviators bold
So I went down, held lap my hand, and this is what they told:
"You'll go to Kelly Field and learn to navigate the sky"
When I got there I was "SOLM for this is how I fly:
CHORUSs "Look at the ears on him, on him
Oh! How do you get that way?"
That was the greeting I received as I marched in today*
First they put me into the kitchen, "KP" was Bay name,
I wrote uiy girl that I was a flier
Gee! but I'm a wonderful liar*
"Look at the ears on him, on him,
Oh! How do you get that way?"
That is the only battle cry I hear both night and day
If I'm to fight in this great war and end the Kaiser's reign
They'd better take up me kettles and pans
And give me an aeroplane!
I've peeled a million spuds since I've been in this flying game
I've swung a pick and shovel, 'Till my weary back is lame
I've navigated lots of ground but not an inch of sky
And when 1 ask about aeroplanes, I hear the same old cry: (CHORUS)
77.
BREAK RIGHT
(Tune: Cadence Count)
Solo: Break right
All: Right Now
Solo: Break right
All: Right now
Solo: Break right, break right, break right, PULL IT TIGHT
Solo: We1 re flyin' around
All: We're flyin1 around
Solo: And lookin1 around
All: And lookin1 around
Solo: The MLGs came down
All: The Migs came down
Solo: We went fround and fround
All: We went 'round and 'round
Solo: Throttle to the wall
All: Throttle to the wall
Solo: I counted them all
All: I counted them all
All: One, two, three, four, MORE AND MORE!
Solo: Their noses were red
All: Their noses were red
Solo: They wanted me dead
All: They wanted me dead
All: EENY, MEEHI, MINI, MO, LET'S GO BACK TO OLD KEMPOi
THE PRETTIEST ELAHE
(l)(Leader) The prettiest plane
(All) The prettiest plane
(Leader) Out on the line
(All) Out on the line
(Leader) The MiG-15
(All) The MiG-15
(Leader) Plies migjhty fine
(All) Plies mighty fine
(All) The prettiest plane out on the line
The MiG-15 flies mighty fine!
(2) When we go up and fly at noon
The MiG-15 fs leap off the moon
(3) Then they come down and pretty soon
A pissed-off tiger lowers the boom
(h) On all our planes we paint red stars
For MiG-15 fs that land on Mars
(5) We chase them up to forty-four
The fox-eight-six don't have much more
(6) The throttle's set rigjit at full bore
We'll never catch that little whore
(7) Then they start home and Casey calls
We're letting down, no sweat at all
(6) We're coming in with 13 chicks, 12
MiG-15's, one Fox eight-six
(9) The moral of this story's clear
When you start home just check
your rear
(10) Cause if you don't you're sure to
find, A MiG-15 tucked in behind.
78.
FLEET AIR WING - - ALMA MkTER
Monday I touched her on the ankle
Tuesday I touched her on the knee
Wednesday success, I histed up fer dress
And Thursday fer chemise: Gor Blimey - -
Friday I put me fand around 'er,
Saturday she gave me ear a tweek
But 'twas Sunday after dinner she made me out a sinner
And now I'm payin1 fer six and seven a week.
I donft want to he a soldier
I don't want to go to war
I just want to hang around
Picadilly on the ground
Livin' off the waiges of an 'igh born laidy
I don't want a bayonette up me hackside
Don't want me buttocks shot away
For I'd rather be in England
Bloody, Bloody, England
And fornicate me bloody life away. Gor Blimey -
Call out the Army and the Navy
Call out the Rank and the File
Call out the dear old Territorials
They can face the battle with a smile
Call out the Boys of the Old Brigade
Who made Old England free
Call out your brother and your father and your mother
But for Christ's sake don't call me.
ITAZUKE ORT
(Tune: When You Wore A Tulip)
When you flew a Mustang, and I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke OKI
Other pilots went to briefing
We stayed in the sack a'sleeping
Hotter stones you'll never see
We were hotter than tabasco when Group pulled each fiasco
We excelled in proficiency
When you flew a Mustang, and I flew a Mustang
In the Itazuke ORTI
79-
An interview between Lt. Rudder, America's leading Ace, just returned
from the war zone, the press and eager Col* Beaver, of Air Force Press
Relations:
Press: Welcome home, Lt. Rudder, How does it feel to be back in the
States again?
Lt, Rudder: Pretty pissed off.
Col, B: (to press) Lt, Rudderfs eyes were misty when the outlines of
the Statue of Liberty, symbol of American faith and fight for
liberty, loomed into sight.
Press: What is the first thing you are going to do in New York? Lt,
Rudder?
Lt, Rudder: Get laid.
Col, B: He intends to fly back to his old home town immediately and see
his Mom and all the folks.
Press: Are they going to give you the Congressional Medal?
Lt, Rudder: They damn well should.
Col, B: Lt, Rudder1 s modesty disclaims any high awards. "Every man in
the battle line deserves it as much as Ilf, the Ace said.
Press: What about the case of champagne Gen, Beevil was going to give
you for breaking Rickenbacker*s record?
Lt, Rudder: Aw, he crapped out on me.
Col. B: Lt, Rudder is a teetotaler, The price of a case was generously
donated to Russian relief at his suggestion.
Press: How did you shoot all those planes down?
Lt. Rudder: I guess I*m a pretty fucking hot pilot.
Col, B: Bashful Rudder attributes all his success to combination of
teamwork, luck and superior equipment.
Press: Do you think the German pilot is as good as the American?
Lt. Rudder: I can fly circles up their ass.
Col. B: He pays high tribute to the fighting skill of the enemy.
Preeq: What about the Japanese?
Lt. R: Those shit-heads. They don't know their ass from third base.
Col, B: What the Lt, means is the quality of the Japanese airman is
declining.
80*
Press: what about your mechanic? Was he pretty good?
Lt. R: That dumb son-of-a-bitch was born -with his thumb up his ass.
It was a miracle that I ever got off the ground*
Col, B: Rudder is lavish in his praise of his courageous ground crews
who work night fn day to keep fem flying.
Press: We "understand that you intend to visit the factory that made your
plane.
Lt. R: Yeah—if the bastards arenft on strike. I'd like to get my hands
on the ass hole who welded his lunch box into the tail section.
Col. B: He is proud of our American worker and the magnificent Job that
they are doing in lfbacking the attack."
Press: I understand that you plan to teach gunnery a while before going
back. *
Lt. R: Yeah—somebodyfs got to give the kids the ungarbled truth. The
stuff they taugjht me in training almost got my ass shot off.
Col. Bi Lt. Rudder is unqualified in his praise of the high degree of
training given our fledgling pilots.
Lt. R: Sorry boys, Ifve got to get out of here before the bars close and
line up a piece of ass - so long.
Col. B: Yes, Lt. Rudder can't wait to get back to his Mother's apple
pies, the girl he left behind, and the main street he played
Indian on as a small boy. If there are any further questions, I
believe that I can answer them, gentlemen.
&U
NOTICE TO PASSENGERS
If you will kindly observe the following rules, it will be a hell of a
lot easier and more comfortable for the crew---after all —- whose air
plane is this anyway?
1. Keep your goddam feet off the seats.
2. DonH get snooty with the crew—remember your pilot is still learn-
ing to fly and he is more scared than you.
3. Keep your goddam feet off the seats.
k. If a fellow passenger gets anxious, knock him in the head with an
empty bottle.
5. Eyes forward all the time.
6. Leave each crew member a healthy tip.
7. Don't ask embarrassing questions of the crew, such as:
(A) Where are we?
(B) What time will we land?
(C) Who made that landing?
(D) Where is the can"
(E) Where are we going, how fast, how high are we, etc."
Hell, they don't know I
8. If you don't like the food, to Hell with you; the Boss does.
9» Keep your goddam feet off the seats.
10. Only six people allowed in the can at a time; please observe.
11. Save your gum after each landing for the next one. If it falls off
your ears, doh't stick it under the seats.
12. Keep your godda^i feet off the seats.
13• Be thankful if you arrive anywhere.
Ik. Always let the crew off first—after all the damn thing might be
on fire.
15 • Don't bother the Stewardesses--they are along for the ride also.
16. Shut up I Keep your goddam feet off the seats.
l*t. Don't be so inconsiderate as to ask for magazines, papers, playing
cards, beer, etc., before crew has had a chance at them first.
18. If the engine falls off—don't show any fear, it might frighten
the crew.
19• By all means don't get airsick. At least wait until off the plane.
20. Don't expect the coffee to be hot. It riever is.
21. And—Keep those feet off the goddam seatsI!
32*
HEADQUARTERS BASE SECTION Ho 1
Services of Supply
USAF - CBI
Office of the Provost Marshall
SUBJECT: Conduct of Enlisted Man.
TO : Commanding Officer, 60th Fighter Squadron, 33rd Fighter
Group, Area B, AAFRC, APO 883
1. At about 2300 hours 23 February 19^> this office was
informed that an American soldier had fallen into an open sewer
at the corner of Inverarity Road and Frere Street, this city,
"but had been rescued by a group of natives. Soldier had wandered
off in the direction of Elphinestone Street singing happily.
2. At about 2315 hours same date, T/5 Gordon L. Gibbs,
36181150, 3^79th Ordnance, and Pfc Robert Anderson, 39k5k6j6,
^9th A. B. Squadron, M.P. Detachment, were passing the same open
sewer and heard a loud splashing noise accompanied by singing.
They fished Cpl. William P. Sokoloski, 685^57* your organization,
from the sewer and brought him to M, P. Headquarters.
3. Cpl. Sokolski had been in this office earlier in the
evening to report the loss of some gifts which he had purchased.
He now stated that he had been looking for his lost gifts, and
had been walking along the sidewalk when on stepping off the street,
he found himself over his head in water. He vaguely remembered
being helped out by some natives, but a short time later found him-
self walking along the same sidewalk, and on stepping off into
the street again found himself over his head in water.
k. The "sidewalk11 to which Cpl. Sokoloski refers is a lew-
brick wall which protects the sewer.
5. T/5 Gibbs and Pfc Anderson state that C-l. Sokoloski
insisted that he was swimming in a public pool, which he also
insisted he had a perfect right to do.
6. Cpl. Sokoloski was driven to the KGA and put on a truck
to return to his organization. Both this office and the jeep in
which he rode were mopped out and fumigated.
7. T/5 Gibbs and Pfc Anderson have asked to be recommended
for the Soldiers Medal.
8. As this sewer is full of combined human and animal
excrement, decaying animal and vegetable matter, as well as
water running off the streets, it is suggested that Cpl. Soko-
loski be given every inoculation and test known to god and man.
m*
9. Attention is further directed to a local regulation 'which
prohibits soldiers swinming alone ♦ The "Buddy System11 is used, so
that if Opl. Sokoloski insists on swimming in this sever in the
future, he must "be accompanied•
10, No charges are preferred against Cpl. Sokoloski. This
communication is for your information only.
For the Commanding Officer:
RICHARD B. LAUGHER
1st Lt., C.M.P.,
Asst. Provost Marshal
84.
18 July 1957
Dear Colonel Carey:
Well, here it is the end of the canning season - the time when
I -usually take time out to write a few letters to my good
friends; the time when I remember all the good things, and
indulge myself to the extent of getting a little sentimental.
It's a rainy evening, the doorbell rings intermittently - the
kids are all out on their trick-or treat Halloween "binge in
spite of the weather -- but here in the den it's cozy and com-
fortable. Ifm sitting before a nice open fire with my type-
writer - sort of half listening to the hi-fi and slowly sipping
a very, very dry double Martini. I only wish you were here -
but since you are not, the least I can do is to toast your
health and happiness - so time out, old pal, while I bend my
elbow to you!
I just took time out to mix another Martini, and while I was
out in the kitchen I thought of all the time I would waste
this evening if I went out to mix another drink every once in
a while, so I just made up a big pitcher of Martt Martinies
and brought ti backiw ith me xo XSd have it right here besideme
and wouldnft hav to wast time making more of them. So now Ifm
all set and here goies. Besides, Martinis are a great drink.
For some reasonthey neverseeme to affec me in the slighttest.
Can drink thrm all day longe. So here goes. Theyr^-atets think
in tje whole world is frendship. An believe me pal you are the
greatess pal anybdy ever had. Do you remember all the swill
times we had to gether ol pal? The wonerful camping trisp.
I8ll never forget the time yoi put the deadskunnk in mh sleeping
bag. ha.ha. Boy hwo we lauhged din we. Ndevr did get the stin
kout of it. But is wass prety funny ahywah. I sill laught
about it onec in while. No as muhc as I used to. But what
hcek! after all you stillmy bes old pal. Anf if a guy canot
have a luaghg on a good treu friend one in a wihle waht the
heck.
Dam pitcher was empty so smpty so I just wentot^tandma de another
one and I sure wischt you weer here ol pal to held me drink
these martoni because they ar3 simplu deliucius. Pardn me wile
I life my flass a/ to you good healhth once more because you
are the bests apll I gott. Offf cours why a pal wuld do a
dirty think like putting a skunk in a nother pals sleping
batg i8m damm if i know. That was a luousy thing for anybofdy
to do an oly a frist class hele would doit. Wash a damm bit
funney. S till stinsk. And if you thing it(s funney your a
dirty lous and as fare as l)m conserned youcan go plumto helll
and sttay there you dirty lous.
To hel with ouy.
85.
HEADQUARTERS 312TH FIGHTER WING (SP) E-l/i
APO 210, C/0 POSTMASTER
NEW YORK CITS, NEW YORK
22 June 19I&
SUBJECT: The A-3 Section Ties Up Again
TO : P. B. Klein, O-21502, Colonel, Air Corps, United States Array, Com-
manding Officer of the 61st Fighter Group (P-V7 D-15 Equipped), Sta-
tioned at Field A-3 (Kwanghan), APO 210, c/o Postmaster, New York City,
New York, (Chengtu, Szechwan Province, China),
1. The A-3 section has lost face. It is with much pain that those who guide
the destiny (continually confuse) of our gallant men of the air must admit they
have made a horrible mistake. We beg a thousand pardons.
2o The story is a sad one which we now recount. A long, long time ago, in
the land of make believe (rice paddies and you know what), there lived a certain
Prince (Lt. Col.) who had a large mustache (guess who?). This mustache was the
envy of all who loved things hairy (not what you are thinking either); maidens
(WAVES, WACS, SPARS, etc) swooned, men wondered (what the hell it was for), dogs
howled (I know what it is for), and it rained hard most every day. (He can reach
both nipples at once with it.) This is the end of our fairy tail. It's a sad,
sad ending - because he wasn't happy in the land where there wasn't any (You
know
what).
3. Perhaps you wonder (me too) what the moral of this tail - excuse me - tale
is. There wasn't any (tale or tail). Consequently, this story has no bearing on
the case.
k. We beg, therefore, your forgiveness in returning these documents, and un-
worthy as we are, pray you to comply with the provision of Part £5, Section V of
Army Air Force Memorandum Sixty two Dash One Four.
5. This document, you see, proves several things. First, the Illustrious
A-3 Section has relented, repented, and decided they were wrong, consequently
de-
cided to reverse their decision (it happens all too often, doesn't it!f)»
Secondly,
it proves there isn't much doing this morning (there never is).
6. Again we ask permission to apologize and beg forgiveness. As pennance for
our sins, we promise to drink not less than one (l) quart of Bourbon per man per
day (what a dream) for the rest of our natural lives.
I beg to Remain your hpable servant.
E, F. CAREY, JR., 0-3«8885,
Lt. Col., Air Corps, (Res),
Hq, 312th Fighter Wing,
APO 210, c/o Postmaster
2 Inels:
New York City, New York
Incl 1 - Report of Aircraft Accident
Lt. C. F. SPAULDING.
Incl 2 - Report of Aircraft Accident
Lt. B. F. GREEN. 86.
A TALE OF OLD TAEGU
And in the years of the reign of the emperor Harry, it came to pass that the
Chosen people found themselves in the valley of Taegu* Came there prople from a
place called Taejon and spake they thus to the newcomers* • Behold, the enemy
cometh upon us even as they have in the North and filleth us with bullets, and
smiteth us with divers munitions and such of us he catcheth, he visiteth passing
great atrocities upon* Therefore heed ye and listen for the sound of the panic
"button, and prepare ye to flee to the place which is called Pusan, for even
though the waters open not, then shall ye hitch-hike with the Navy<> And so
speaking, they didst brake such weapons as proved unserviceable, and prepared
themselves to quit the valley*
But the newcomers made as if they heard them not, and spake of great deeds of
arms and of the enemy to be slain, though in secret their knees trembled and
chej
were so afraid* In the fullness of time, the radio spake of the approach of the
enemy and a voice spake of the approach of the glorious peoples army to liberate
the fatherland, and thus did it proclaim to all the land - the time cometh, of
imperialist oppressors of the people. So the newcomers spake each unto the
other,
saying - wherefore this business of Imperialists, thou old oppressor, thou? And
his neighbor spake - Verily, I understand not this talk of imperialism for I de-
sire only to return to Truman fs Island and to retire wherefore I came into the
-
service*
Then the enemy drew yet closer, and the thunder of their wrath was heard in
the hills, and many there were who climbed aboard chariots of the air and left
the
valley* Then come into the valley one day one who is called the CO, and he spake
thusly - Verily I say unto ye - we shall stay here while yet the iron birds fly,
and
we shall heap napals and leaden hail upon the heads of the enemy and their arms
shall not prevail against us0 Wherefore, head ye, and labor nightly upon the
line,
and know ye that I shall chew upon the posterior of each of the lowliest
Lieutenant
each day, else the enemy prevail against us*
Then came he of the corncob pipe and the iron bird named for a peninsula in
the Far-away southern islands, and strode out and thus did he speak to the
multi-
tude - be ye of good cheer, for I shall stay. Then returned he forthwith to the
nine and forthieth state, which is called Nippon whereof he is governor.
Then, in due seriousness, the multitudes labored upon the line, loaded they
the aircraft, and shouted they over the radio and hauled they fuel, for the
number
of the enemy was as the leaves of the trees, and the hour of reckoning
approached*
Wherefore he who was called CO unto the tent of him who was called Armament
and spake he thusly - wherefore liest thou upon thy posterior in thy sack when
even now the faithful labor upon the line? Laggards there are in thy section,
players of cards, writers of letters to their wives, shooters of craps, yea even
drinkers of Budweiser thereare* Whyfore laborest thou not upon the line and do
likewise, and labor ye mightly, lest I chew again upon thy posterior, until it
becometh even as the sieve, which holdeth not* So speaking, he who was called
the CO departed in the fullness of his wrath, and he who was called armament
arose and cursed, and didst break wind and scratched himself, and went forth to
labor at the line* Then he chewed mightly upon the posteriors of the faithless,
saying - wherefore labor ye not upon the line when thy brother en work their
post-
eriors off? Whyfore shoot ye craps and drink ye even Budweiser, wherefore the
old1
man cheweth upon my posterior, which is passing tender lately? So spake he and
they labored mightly. o7
And in the fullness of time, the enemy came yet closer, and there was a
pillar
of fire by night and a cloud of smoke "by day, and each of the newcomers thought
unto himself - This time they snow us not as they did when the smoke of
locomotives
was said to be the enemy* For we can see the flash of the rockets and the smoke
of
the bombs which even lately we have loadedo Verily the enemy is upon us, and if
we are taken we shall suffer the wrath of the star that glows red over the house
of
he that is known as Joseph a So they thought, but they spake mightly of deeds of
valor and of the many enemy to be slain, speaking each unto the other. Yet each
in
his turn went into his tent and check with loving care, his carbine and his
ammuni-
tion therefor, and his pack with three days if C -rations, and his extra socks
and
his map to Pusan. And there were those among them who returned to their tents to
change drawers, for the thunder in the hills was passing close.
And in the fullness of their need for tools, the chosen ones went unto him
who
was called supply, and called upon hjun and he spake saying - verily breatheren,
so
I know thy wants but some son of Bolial hath either evacuated the Class I stock
or
brought them not wherefore I call on FEAMCOM without the stock number they send
me
divei \- strange implements, and he showed them cowling wrenches for the F-12
and har-
monization tools for the A-17 and offered them WAG shoes, and they sent them on
their way.
Even in greater numbers came the riders of the great iron birds and left them
to be reloaded while they strode to the tent of him who was called Intelligence
and
spake to him of great deeds of arms and of weeping and wailing in the camp of
the
enemy, wherefore he who was called Intelligence caused it all to be written down
and
caused it to be classified SECRET and turned the crank and didst shout into the
direct line to JOC, but the telephone availeth not.
Then he who was called Operations strode to the line and spake thusly, -
where-
fore foul ye up? Whyfore load ye not more and yet more aircraft? In the fullness
of his wrath, the Old Man shall descent upon me and I shall be cast into outer
darkness. Even Generals are come to the line in chariots of blue and black to
ask
me questions. How then can I answer those questions if ye load not aircraft?
There-
fore labor ye well else I turn ye in. Therefore the chosen ones went forth again
and albored mightly upon the iron birds, saying each unto the other - Verily
this
man speaketh not with a forked tongue, for else we labor well, we shall be
smitten
by the enemy. And they called upon him who was called Ordnance, he of the foul
cigar and purple cap, for more rockets of silver, fat bombs and shiaing
ammunition.
And he who was called Ordnance called upon FEAMCOM saying - Whyfor keepest thou
me
here if thou sendest not munitions?
And on the days when there was no inventory, the chosen ones went forth to
the ^k
PX and saw there, many things which were called beetle crushers, and spake unto
them ^^
saying - whyfor lengthenest thou our PX line what goeth with the war? And the
war-
riors spake unto them, telling of the iron birds and of mighty feats of arms and
spake
of seventy, yea of one hundred and seventy groups, and of unification of
subject.
Wherefore the chosen ones spake unto the other saying - Verily these people snow
us
not for it is passing tough up on the line, and each went in his turn unto his
tent
and annointed his carbine with oil and checked his escape kit.
And in the fullness of time it came to pass that three striken iron birds
were
made ready to fly again, and he who was called Base Operations spake unto him
who
was called Base Operations saying - Whyfore fly we not together with the A-3
these
aircraft? Whyfore get we not in a few sorties ourselves? And they left the
valley
parachutes and other personal equipments and spake thusly - Wherefore we take
these aircraft? Whomsoever do they think themselves to be? Verily I shall call
S8o
upon Base Operations and cause them to fly not. Yet when they called upon
Base
Operations it availed them not for the fear of the wrath of the Base Operations
was carried forth and great was the weeping and wailing and wailing in the camp
of the enemy, for many of their chariots of war ran not and many were the war
stories therefrom.
And many times there came into the valley, iron birds whose surfaces shown
even as silver in the sunlight and whose weapons were kept like watches. And
among their riders, there were flight leaders who spake hopefully of promotions
to bloody corporals for these men used this word in their speech where ordinary
men used commas, and they spake to the chosen ones of their southern country and
told stories and sang songs which were passing dirty. Bottles of Australian
whiskey they bought and great was the rejoicing therefore and great was the
anguish
in the camp of the enemy for as pilots, these men were passing hot even as their
whiskey.
Even yet on some days the face of the sun was hidden and the host of the
beetle
crushers fought by themselves and on those days the chosen ones went unto the
weather men and didst speak saying - what of the weather, oh learned ones? If
the
faces of the sun remained hidden, then our aircraft shall fly not and the enemy
shall overcome us, and the weatherman answered not but went into his tent and
packed*
And fire and brimstone and napalm was heaped onto the enemy and the hail of
roc-
kets and cal. 50 fell upon his head and much of the enemy as remained, returned
to
the North, and the voice of the radio was stilled and spoke no more of
imperialists
and of liberation and of glorious People's Army. And they who were called beetle
crushers lengthened not the PX line for they too had gone unto the North.
And new aircraft came into the valley and the chosen ones watcheth their
ascensions and spake to the new ones of mighty deeds of arms and of the days
when
the thunder of the enemy was even greater than the thunder of the new aircraft.
Thus in the fullness of time, peace came unto the valley and he who was
called
CO sent his staff forth on their appointed rounds and caused them to be shown
the
planes in which great deeds had been done, and told them war stories, whereof
they
listened with great interest and with expressions of astonishment as was
fitting.
And there were those among the chosen ones who received R and R and there were
those among the chosen ones who returneth to Nippon and embraced their wives and
beat upon the posteriors of their children. And there were those among their
wives who spake unto them saying - whyfor comest thou not home as often as thy
neighbor who has had seventeen R and R's during this police action? Verily thou
lovest me not J
And there came unto the valley Squadron Commanders who checked their VD
reports
beating upon their breasts and saying - Woe is me for the character guidance
pro-
gram availeth not. And then caused their men to place hats upon their heads and
to
salute as is fitting and px-oper and the chosen ones spake unto each other
saying -
Verily this is chicken I This place groweth more stateside each day and they
placed hats upon their heads and went forth to salute as is fitting and proper.
There was buildings of organization charts and talk of ground safety and of I
and
E programs and there was much passing of vehicles also* And inspectors also
there
came, each with the waxing and waning of the moon for the thought of their tax
exemption was heavy upon them and he who was called CO rejoiced to see them for
then he knew peace had at last come to the valley.
TEE END
39.
"THE VOICE THAT CRIES IN THE TEEN-AGE WILDERNESS"
0 Mighty National Military Establishment, hear our feeble voice. Hark
unto us, the old people* We are calling, who served Thee under the Pay Bill of
1922, and who suffered silently under the Economy of 1933•
Remember us now, Thy servants who paid our own laundry bills and had not the
pleasures of the dancing girls of the U.S.O.
We, who were Thy acting corporals and acting first sergeants, and who com-
manded companies in the rank of second lieutenant; we who offered thanks when we
were promoted before our hair was like the snow upon the mountain.
Canst Thou not remember us now, Thine old legions of the shining armor and
the glistening brass?
We are the few who were with Thee when Thou wert smitten both from the East
and from the West.
Did we not steel the people, and beat their plowshares into a mighty sword
when evil was upon them?
Are we so soon forgotten, the hundred thousand who increased more than a
hundred fold?
Consider Thou Thy handiwork, and prevail upon the elders to deliver us
from evil. Now that Thy foot is upon the neck of the enemy, and the noise of the
battle is stilled, remember Thou Thy good and faithful servants.
Consider Thou these people you have put among us; damp are their heads be-
hind their ears. They toil not, neither do they spin. Their buttocks show
through their fatigue garments, and they know not the sewing kit; they trim not
their locks, and they bathe most infrequently; their kit bags smell of foul
linen.
Tarnish is upon their brass, and their barracks are like unto the stable of the
animals of the field.
There are no men among them, but a horde of M.O.S.fS; they can do no other
thing. The cook cannot clean a rifle, and the clerk cannot scrub his office
floor;
in the offices sit many pencil twiddlers with civilian employees upon their
right
and upon their left; they do nothing and know nothing.
Their garments are like unto the zoot suit, and are adorned with watch chains
and many unauthorized ribbons; they button not their top buttons, and they wear
their caps like unto the taxi drivers. They become drunken on 3«2 beer, and
they rider the sick book all through the hours of duty. They loiter at the P.X.
and whistle at our women folk; no maiden is safe from their voice, even in the
hours of daylight.
These people know not of fiddlers green, and the spirit of the fighting man
is not in them; they sit in the seorner's seat, and are civilians in their
hearts;
they would not stand their watch at the gate.
Take heed now, 0 high brass, lest these people take away the hinge from the
gate and loosen the stones from our walls. Hearken unto our petition, 0 mighty
men who sit deep within the building with many sides. Let the voice of the first
sergeant roar forth again like that of the great lion; let him again be a man of
stern visage; give him again the power which can strike fear unto the hearts of
the malcontents.
Let thy squadron commander sit again in the inner office as the centurion,
and let his voice be the voice of the law; let the recruit come before his com-
mander with his hat in his hand and a civil tongue in his head; let the junior
birdman render unto Caesar those things that are Caesar1s.
Let us now be military men once more, fit again for the conflict!
Amen
90o
AN INTERVIEW
General, what are your plans for the next war?
There won't be any next war.
Why not?
When all the other nations hear about our plans, they won't dare to start
a war*
What are the plans, General?
First of all, we will restrict our entire offensive to the air. By fabri-
cating overwhelming offense, we can ignore the defense. This ean be
achieved by dreadnaughts of the air. We refer to these as air-naughts.
What will the air naughts be like?
It will operate on the closed shuttle principle.
What is the closed shuttle principle, General?
That is a procedure whereby an aircraft can bomb a target and keep on
going, to return to its starting point without turning around.
Do you mean they will fly completely around the earth?
That's it exactly.
General, how can we build planes that can go that far?
The details aren't worked out yet, but the idea is comparatively simple.
If one plane can go 5,000 miles, two planes can go 10,000 miles. Now if
you double the fuel load of these two planes, you can get 20,000 miles.
Actually, we won't need as much fuel as that, because the planes will go
faster.
How much faster?
Well, a plane that is standing on the ground is traveling about 1,000 mph
because the earth rotates about 2*1,000 miles in 2^- hours. We should be
able to add another 1,000 mph to the plane's initial, or static, speed,
and thus get around the world in 12 hours. We can travel in such a direc-
tion that the last part of the flight will be downhill, or we can pick a
direction which will provide a tailwind all the way. That will give us
optimum velocitation.
Will the aimaught carry any payload?
Definitely; every single member of the flight's crew will draw flight pay.
I meant bomb load, General. With such a load of fuel, how do you propose
to carry any bombs.
We have written specifications for bombs which will be absolutely devas-
tating and must not exceed 1 lb. in weight. We refer to these as
bombmites. The control button console should not weigh over 30 lbs for
full equipmentation*
91.
Are you going to have any trouble getting enough fuel for your airfleet?
None at all* We are working on a fuel-recovery system "by which each plane
reprocesses the exhaust products of the plane ahead, and thus manufactures
most of its own fuel.
How does the first plane in line get its fuel?
There won't be any "first" plane. There will be a continuous ring of planes
so that each one will have a plane ahead of it. This constitutes a sort of
endless bombelt.
General, that is remarkable. Does it mean all your planes will have to
stay in the air continuously?
Not necessarily, but that is a feature we are working toward. The thought
is that our planes won the last war by staying in the air only 6 hours a day,
they can win the next one four times as fast by staying in the air 2k hours
a day. Or, in the same length of time the same job can be done by one fourth
the number of planes.
That means you could refuel in the air?
We would go much farther than that. We expect to re-service the plane in all
respects, and exchange flight crews while airborne. Thus we can dispense"
with bases. When we ultimate this program, you will find that all phases of
warfare will be completely serialized.
How are we going to handle the enemy's defenses against your bombelt?
We wont have any.
Why not, General?
As I explained, we propose to devote all our potential to the offense. Prac-
tically all other powers will do likewise since they pattern their forces on
our organization. Thus, any enemy is bound to get caught without any defense.
Are there any other developments I can mention in connection with your pub-
licity?
Well, under our directivation the project engineers are working up an inter-
esting list of devices. These include projectile traps and strato-mines.
The new binolular electronics system also gives us some very valuable mili-
tary implements. Among them are missile reversers, blind underway remote
photography (BURP), and electronic camouflage (Chamelonics). Retro-radar
will permit keeping the bombsight on the ground. Thus, the groundier will
take over the bombardier's job which will eventually be handled automatically.
As you can see, we have just about eliminated the man from the problem. The
next logical step is to eliminate the machine. We call this de-mechanization.
2
92.
General, are there any obstacles to your plan?
We are worried "bout de-objectivation.
What is that?
Target shortage.
AIR TRAFFIC
ATC CLEARANCE
ATC CONTROLLER
AIRWAY
APPROACH SEQUENCE
APPROACH TIME
BASIC VPR MBTMJMS
CAR 60
CENTER
COMPETENT AUTHORITY
CONTROL AREA
CRUISING ALTITUDE
DEFINITION OF "ATC" TERMS
A concentration of numerous aircraft over a given
point, each demanding the same route and altitude
and each having special priority.
A verbal method of compelling a pilot to fly a route
and altitude he otherwise would never have chosen.
An individual subsidized "by the railroads and con-
centrated to the task of discouraging travel by air.
A route so designed by CAA that neither pilot nor
ATC can find it on the charts.
A means devised by ATC to make a pilot land last
when he knows all along that he should "be first.
The time given the pilot to make him happy while
attempts are made to figure out what to do with him.
Those weather conditions under which a chicken can
clear a low fence while maintaining satisfactory
forward visibility.
An ancient scroll of pre-historic lore quoted "by
ATC and pilots alike to prove that the moon is made
of green cheese.
Drafty, ill-kept barn-like structure in which govern-
ment pensioners congregate for dubious reasons.
Accredited individuals who have finished the third
grade.
Air space in which only one center has authority to
disrupt the flow of traffic.
Any altitude other than altitude requested by pilot
or any altitude maintained by the pilot other than
the altitude last approved by ATC.
93*
DEPARTURE TIME
FLIGHT PLAN
HOLDING PATTERN
IFR
REPORTING POMT
SEPARATIONS
TOWER
VER
The "time that take-off is permitted by the tower
after all other aircraft on the field have departed.
Any information filed "by the pilot "which communications
can manage to lose or otherwise withold from ATC.
Laughable term applied to the dogfight in progress
over the radio facility serving a terminal airport.
Conditions under which pilots cannot see how closely
they just missed colliding or conditions under which
the other fellow is always flying at your altitude.
A location over which pilots occasionally verify their
position during clear weather. NOTE: It is considered
unsporting to report over positions within five minutes
of estimated time.
That condition achieved when two or more aircraft
fail to collide. NOTE: Sometimes achieved by having
two conflicting aircraft work on different frequencies -
called "frequent separation11.
Glass solarium in which the above-mentioned govern-
ment pensioners sun themselves.
That whitish gray stuff that goes by your wing tips
when climbing and descending in accordance with VER.
9A.
SUCH MODESTY!
It seems that a wealthy young playboy out for a night,
picked up a beautiful young girl in a bar and took her
up to his apartment. Instead of this girl being a
tramp, she was well groomed, chic, and seemingly quite
intellectual. Thinking that he would have to impress
her to get anywhere, he showed her some etchings,
first editions, and finally offered her some wine. He
asked whether she would prefer port or sherry. "Oh,
Sherry by all means," she replied. "Sherry to me is
the nectar of the Gods. Just looking at it here in
its crystal clear decanter fills me with the antici-
pation of a heavenly thrill, and when the stopper is
removed and this gorgeous liquid is poured into a
glass, I inhale the delicious tangy fumes, and Ifm
lifted on the wings of ecstacy. It seems I taste this
magic potion and my whole being seems to glow—a
thousand violins throb in my ears and Ifm sent into
another world." "On the other hand," she said, "Port
makes me fart."
The boss of a medium sized office had hired a steno who was out of this
world. She had looks, personality, and clothes. After looking at her for
a few weeks, the boss, a married man, decided that he was going to take her
out some night. He approached her and asked if she would like to celebrate
his birthday with him, at some secluded night spot. She said that she would
have to think about it.
The next day she consented to go but offered that they go to her apart-
ment instead of out somewhere. To himself, as any other normal man, he
commented: "Better than I planned."
The night of his birthday they went to her apartment and had cocktails,
appetizers, dinner and some drinks afterward. A short while after, she
said: "I am going to my bedroom now and you can come in . . .in 5 minutes."
After four minutes had gone by, the boss started to disrobe. Totally
naked by the time the five minutes were up, he knocked on the bedroom door.
The voice from behind the door in a sweet tone said "Gome in". A twist
of the door knob and the door was open, only to find the rest of the office
force singing:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU."
95.
My First Time
She lay "back with a long sigh, allowing the muscles of her
shapely legs to relax and partly drew up her shaking knees • For
a half hour she had put him off. First one excuse then another,
resisting desperately all the time, hut hoping down deep in her
heart that he would go ahead, paying no heed to her protests. It
was what she wanted. She had known all the time, "but now that the
time had come she was afraid. Of course she knew that he thought
nothing of it, hut fdr her it was the first time. He had "been
gentle with her, however, assuring her over and over again that he
would give her ease to that growing pain that had kept her tossing
in "bed at night. Her fingers involuntarily fluttered to the spot;
it was hot with anticipation. But when she was relaxed she stared
with fascination at the thing he held in his hand. Yet her knees
were drawn tight with fear. He was as gentle as he promised. She
was light of weight and he went slowly and carefully. Her muscles
relaxed voluntarily. She opened wide to give him more room. Chills
went up and down her spine. It seemed he was drawing her spine
out. "Doti't take it out." "I can't stand it." "Do it faster".
It seemed all day, hut in reality it was only a few minutes when
he said, "It's coming now." And she felt.it come too. Her "body
leaped in a series of convulsions, then she lay back quietly.
It was then the dentist removed the instruments from her mouth
and with it came the tooth. (Oh, for the life of a dentist!)
Were you scared?
96.
AM) I LBAHNED-ABOUT WOm FROM HIM
(OJanes 1 Learned About Women I^om Her)
I've handled -the stick and the rudder
I've flown quite a lot in my time
I've had my shsfre of instructors
And some of the "bunch wfere fine©.
A bowlegged fellow from Princeton
And one that was trained at Cornell
And a fellow from Brooks, hut they gave him the hooks
Jtod the Shavetail that gave me hell.
Die fellow, from Princeton- was; steady
He taught' me to take off and land*
He'd set her down on three points
. And loop her to "beat the hand.
But when I west up for a sol©
She Jennie was steady and trim
Well, I landed that ship. But I "temped my hip ■
And I learned about flying fro©, him.
^ JSke man ftectt, Cornell wag a had one
*% son-of-a-gun I will say.
Bie dirty tail-spin that he gave me
WiH last for many a day
I donated a lunch to the cockpit
But he dived and spun her again
He gave me a howl when I ducked in the cowl
And 1 learned about flying from him.
5Ehe f#l$w from Brooks used the Go sport
And he talked through a long rubber tube.
All that I heard w&a his swearing
He spotted me for a boob.
I'll never forget one bad tailspin
He yelled !8kiek the rudder you simp'3!
But I didn't kisk, I Just wiggled the stick
And I leaded about flying from him.
At last I earn© to fom&tlon
And took a fast ship from the line
I made the first turn a humming
And brought her back upright just fine.
I sped up the ship without thinking
And hit number two in the wing
And - - when I got well, the CO gave m® hell
And I learned abo^t flying from him.
I've handled tie stick and tie radder
I've flown quite a lot; in my time.
I've had my sb&?e of instructjts
And &aa& of the 'bvzJL were fine.
But take sam -tralght dope frorc a flyer
And go witt the Navy to sea
For the skips th«y hove there c&a land eaiywfaere
And learn aV/r.t tltfLzg tram. me.
97