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From I
Love You I Really Do, Part I.
Page 345:
Throw away my underwear,
I don't care, I'll go bare --
Bye-bye, blackbird.
Back your ass against the wall,
Here I come, balls and all --
Bye-bye blackbird.
You took me to a cottage in the wildwood,
And there you took advantage of my childhood.
Shake your ass and kiss my tit,
While I make the snapper spitt --
Blackbird, bye-bye!
ca 1928, parody of "by bye blackbird", of course.
Page 346:
There's a nigger in the grass
And he's up the Kaiser's ass --
Pull him out, Uncle Sam,
Pull him out, pull him out!
To the bugle-call tune "Assembly". Learned at Boy Scout summer camp ca
1928. Compare this with the version by
Heather O. recorded 2017-01-01.
Pg 347:
Reference to the Muffled Bean Corporation [aka Aromatic Bean Company].
Had not heard of this typescript folklore before.
There also has a reference to the Muffled Bean Corporation [aka Aromatic Bean
Company]. Here are a comple versions:
Prospectus of Aromatic Muffled Bean Company (1920s) and
Prospectus of the Argmatic Muffled Bean Company, Ltd. (ca 1938).
Versions of this -- nearly identical to the above -- can be found in
Cleopatra's
Scrapbook (1928) and
The
Book of a Thousand Laughs (1928).
I
Love You I Really Do, Part 2.
Pg 289
Sung to a girl who asked for a "nice" bawdy song. Sung with a "proper
mock-Irish brogue and lilting tune":
When you take it in your hand, Mistress Murphy,
You'll find it only weighs three-quahrters[sic] of a pound.
It's got feathers on the neck like a turkey,
Will you take it standin' up or layin' down?
[Notes: Legman in Unprintable Ozark Folksongs and Folklore volume 1,
pg 137, mentions he "learned 'Mrs. Murphy' from two rather on-coming
eleven-year-old-girls from Blue River, Oregon."]
Page 444-445, a bawdy version of "St. James Infirmary Blues" sung by an
African-American woman, presumed by Legman to be a lesbian, ca 1934:
I went down to St. James Infirmary,
Saw my baby laying there;
She was stretched out on a table,
With her tits and cunt all bare
Let her go, let her go, god damn her!
Wherever she may be;
She can look this whole world over
But she'll never find a [spoken: hot-fucking, tit-sucking] man like me.
pg 447. Legman defines "hot-shot" as sex without condoms and no pulling
out.
Pg. 523. Don't you know that song about "The Gypsy Laddie"? [[aka
Whistling Gypsy; or, The Lady and the Gypsy]] --
But tonight!! she sleeps on the cold, cold ground.
By the side of Black-jack Gypsy-O!
Even the parody is pretty powerful and immutable, where (Fast, stamping
rhythm):
The Lady of the Manor was a-dressing for the ball,
When she spied a Heiland Tinkers lashing piss against the wall.
With his great big kidney-cracker, and balls the size of three,
And a YARD-and-a-half of foreskin hangin' well below his knee!
-- Hangin' down!! Swingin' free!!
And a YARD-and-a-half-of foreskin, etc.
Mooncalf by G. Legman.
pg 62.,
I'd eat a yard of her shit for a lick at her hole.
He also heard it as:
I'd eat a yard of her shit for a look at her hole.
pg 76, the phrase "Whistle or Sing, or Show Us Your Thing" as a request from
hobos to be entertained. "Thing" being penis. This is 1934 when
Legman was 18.
pg 209 - 210. Latrinia (bathroom writings):
Show it stiff and get it sucked. I am here every day about 5.
(Underneath this, in angry capitals:)
I WAS HERE YOU BASTARD, WHERE WERE YOU?
For hot suck & fuck call me ANYTIME
Sedwick 3-XXXX (Telephone number rubbed out)
If womans voice answers hang up.
Am sixteen, big for my age
Up my brown -- three dollars or suck me off
same price -- I have a friend who (Ends here)
(Beside this, in old-fashioned curleycue capitals:)
Filthy Minds and filthy faces
Always found in filthy places.
(Underneath this:)
Fuck you with a rubber weinie!!
If you don't like our shit house go
home and jack off-- FAG KIKE BASTARD!
(Others were obvious pimps' advertisements:)
WHITE GIRL, BIG TITS, THREE WAY
Her pink nipples will drive you nuts
And finger up your ass when you shoot
I am standing by door -- ASK ME.
Here I sit broken-hearted,
Paid a nickel and only farted.
Stand close. The next guy may be berefooted.
No sense standing on the seat,
The crabs in here jump fifteen feet.
ALL SHITS weighing more than ten pounds must be lowered with a rope!
From World I Never Made by G.
Leman, pg 34:
At the bar, at the bar
Where I smoked my first cigar
And my pecker just by chance,
I slipped it up her pants
From Music to My Sorrow by G. Legman,
pg 15:
Fuck 'em all! Fuck 'em all! Fuck 'em ALL!
The long and the short and the tall;
When you're a civilian, it one in a million,
But when you're in camp, fuck 'em all!
Pg 389:
For Men must fight, and women must weep.
And the sooner it's over the sooner to sleep.
Pg 410:
...[She] would tell me all the latest dirty jokes that she heard
from her rich boyfriends. She never told them in front
of Beverley, whoever . One went like this...
Society lady in Paris goes to the drugstore and says,
'I got bugs in the bush.' The druggist gives her a green
pomade. Says, 'That'll kill the bugs in the bush.'
Next week she comes back again and he asks her, 'Did it kill
the bugs?' 'Yep! Killed the bugs, killed the poodle dog, killed
two Argentine millionaires, and took all the hair off the bush!'
Pg 532:
"Tis arsehole rules the navy! Arsehole rules the sea!
You may get your bloody bum from the King's Grenadiers -- but
you'll get not arse from me!"
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