Recited by Julius Sorel
The old man sat in the grandstand chair
With shit in his whiskers and lice in his hair
He smiled as he said with a confident air
"She can win in a walk by Jesus"
Now that old mare was long, tall, lanky and loose
And the jockey was pale from self-abuse.
They'll go the that track like shit through a goose
And win in a walk by Jesus
Now at the end of a quarter he was breaking the clock
So he dropped his whip but he whipped out his cock
At the very last quarter she's coming too fast
She slipped on a horse turd and fell on her ass
And lost the race by Jesus
- Various Artists
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Just Something My Uncle Told Me: Blaggardy Folk Songs from
the Southern United States 
- Here's To The Whore [Toast] - Time: 0:10
- This Is To The Girl In The West - George Bernard Time: 0:13
- The Ring Dang Do - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 2:35
- God Damn Her Old Soul, Here's to Meg - Julius Sorel Time: 0:35
- I Fucked An Old Girl In The Graveyard - Julius Sorel Time: 0:27
- Here's To Old Meg - Julius Sorel Time: 0:27
- One Eyed Riley - Jim Garland Time: 1:47
- The Eagle - George Bernard Time: 2:22
- The Wild Buckaroo - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 1:50
- The Piece Of Whang - Buford Pippen Time: 2:23
- The Tattooed Lady - Smokey Rogers Time: 2:03
- Barnacle Bill The Sailor - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 2:29
- Into To The Piece Of Whang - Buford Pippen Time: 1:28
- The Little Ball Of Yarn - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 2:31
- The Piece Of Whang - Buford Pippen Time: 0:54
- Last May Morning - Wash Nelson Time: 2:24
- Crawling And Creeping [Lay Your Left Leg Over Mine] - Jim Garland Time: 1:29
- The Open Book - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 2:30
- The Winnipeg Whore - Julius Sorel Time: 0:51
- Granny Hair, Girl From Arkansas, Ryestraw, Huckleberry Bush, Blackeyed Susie - Jim Garland Time: 2:07
- Crawling And Creeping - Jim Garland Time: 1:21
- The Castration Of The Strawberry Roan - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 4:01
- The Hermit Of Shark Tooth Shoal - Julius Sorel Time: 3:12
- Blue Balls From Bellman, Fucking Does The Women Good - Buford Pippin Time: 0:58
- Uncle Bud - George Bernard Time: 3:14
- Intro To Banjo Ditties - Jim Garland Time: 0:19
- Lost The Race By Jesus, My Organ Grinder, Here's to The Whore, In Mexico - Julius Sorel Time: 1:49
- Granny Hair - Jim Garland Time: 0:21
- Little Girl From Arkansas - Jim Garland Time: 0:37
- Granny Cripplecunt, Damn Her Old Soul, I Sent A Rabbit, Conversation 'tween Victoria & Bucchanian - Jim Garland Time: 1:33
- The Great Wheel - Glenn Ohrlin Time: 1:12
- Ryestraw - Jim Garland Time: 0:17
- She Went Around The Huckleberry Bush - Jim Garland Time: 0:24
- Blackeyed Susie - Jim Garland Time: 0:46
- Blue Balls From Bellman - Buford Pippin Time: 0:39
- Fucking Does The Women Good - Buford Pippin Time: 0:21
- Lost The Race By Jesus - Julius Sorel Time: 0:34
- My Organ Grinder - Julius Sorel Time: 0:33
- Here's To The Whore - Julius Sorel Time: 0:19
- In Mexico - Julius Sorel Time: 0:43
- Old Granny Cripplecunt - Jim Garland Time: 0:21
- God Damn Her Old Soul - Jim Garland Time: 0:35
- I Sent A Rabbit For A Bucket Of Beer - Jim Garland Time: 0:16
- A Conversation Between President Buchanan And Queen Victoria - Jim Garland Time: 0:41
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