Bad Man Toast

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Bad Man Toast

I was born in a barrel of butcher knives
I've been sprayed in the ass with two 45s
a dolomite blew me on the mountainside
a rattlesnake bit me he crawled off and died
I said "mr. rattlesnake you cant harm me 'cause
I've got a tombstone disposition and a graveyard mind
I'm a mean motherfucker and I don't mind dyln"
I bent down to fart and it roared like thunder
it ransacked hell and put the devil under
I handcuffed the lightning and put the thunder in jail
you know my ass was doln' mighty well
I thought so well that I jumped down in hell
I fucked the devil's wife and I fucked her well
I sent the devil of for a little glass of water
by the time he got back I'd fucked four of his daughters
every time the devil stooped down to get a little shovel of coal
I popped the peter to his asshole
If anybody asks you who composed this toast
Tell 'em johnny b. good from coast to coast