Bang Away, Lulu I

[ G ]

My Lulu went in swimming.
She found a dirty stick.
She fondled it and kissed it
'Cause she throught it was my prick.
	By God, it was.

The rich girl has a watch of gold.
The poor girl one of brass.
But Lulu has no watch at all.
Her works are in her ass.
	By God, they are.

The rich girl uses vaseline.
The poor girl uses lard.
But Lulu uses axle grease
That makes it twice as hard.
	By God, it does.

I wish I was a diamond ring
Upon my Lulu's hand,
And every time she'd wipe her ass,
I'd see the Promised Land.
	By God, I would.

I wish I was a locket
Upon my Lulu's breast.
Everytime she heaved a sigh
I'd see her cuckoo's nest.
	By God, I would.

I wish I was a pisspot
Beneath my Lulu's bed,
And every time she'd take a piss
I'd see her maidenhead.
	By God, I would.

I went to see my Lulu.
She took off all her clothes.
And every time she sucked me off,
She blew it through her nose.
	By God, she did.

[ H ]

There was a girl named Lulu,
Who lived in a country town.
She tired to keep her reputation up,
But she couldn't keep her dresses down.

Chorus:
So bang away for Lulu,
Bang away good and strong.
Whatcha' goin' t' do for bangin'
When Lulu's dead and gone?

Rich girls wear the fancy drawers,
And poor girls wear the plain.
But my Lulu has no drawers at all
And gets there just the same.

Rich girls they use cold cream,
And poor girls they use lard.
But my Lulu uses axle-grease
And hits [sic] them twice as hard.

The rich girl's watch is made of gold.
The poor girl's is made of brass.
My Lulu has no watch at all;
Her movement's in her ass.

Some girls they fuck back and forth,
And some fuck round and round.
My Lulu does the figure eight
And never hits the ground.

[ I ]

I had a girl named Lulu;
She was a fairy queen.
With deep blue eys and a Roman nose
And an asshole painted green.

Chorus:
Oh, bang away at Lulu!
Bang away good and strong!
For who's going to do your banging
When Lulu's dead and gone?

I wish I was a pisspot
Beneath my Lulu's bed,
And every time she took a pee,
I'd see her maidenhead.

I wish I was a diamond ring
Upon my Lulu's hand,
And every time she wiped her bum
I'd see the Promised Land.

The rich girls, they use vaseline.
The poor girls, they use lard.
But Lulu uses axle grease 
And bangs 'em just as hard.

Rich girls have ruffles on their drawers.
The poor girl's drawers are plain.
Lulu wears no drawers at all,
But she gets there just the same.

The rich girl has a watch of gold.
The poor girl's watch is brass.
Lulu has no watch at all,
But she keeps time with her ass.

Lulu went out walking,
Came back to where she started.
She tired to sit to take a shit,
But all she did was farted.

Lulu went out walking,
A friend she chanced to pass.
He said, "How are your ovaries?"
She said, "And how's your ass?"

I took my Lulu to the engine house
The engine run by steam.
A red hot coal flew up her hole
And burned her magazine.

I took my Lulu to the circus,
The animals for to see.
The elephant got a hard on. ** This alternate is written on the typescript: "But when she saw the elephant's balls."¯
She wouldn't come home with me.

I took my Lulu to play some golf.
We certainly had fun.
We lost the ball, but in the rough,
I made a hole in one.

Lulu got arrested.
Ten dollars was the fine.
But Lulu said to the damned old judge:
"Take it out of this ass of mine."

Lulu had a baby.
It was born at four o'clock.
She went to feel its little cunt
And grabbed its little cock.

Lulu went to church one day
And climbed up on the steeple.
She pulled her little panties down
And nastied on the people.

Of all the beasts that roam the woods, 
I'd rather be a boar.
At every jig, I'd make a pig,
And sometimes three or four.

I took my Lulu for a walk.
I said we'd pick some flowers.
Her little brother came along
And so we picked some flowers.

[ J ]

My Lulu's tall and slender.
My Lulu's long and thin.
Oh, I found her down behind the barn
Jacking off witha rolling pin.

My Lulu's long and slender.
My Lulu's tall and thin.
But when she spreads her legs apart,
You could drive four horses in.

I wish I was the nipple
Upon my Lulu's teat,
And every time the baby sucked,
I'd fill him full of shit.

My Lulu rode a motorbike,
And hit a telephone pole,
And ran it seven feet or more
Right up her damn asshole.

Lulu saw a football game.
The fullback kicked a punt.
They lost the ball for half an hour,
Then found it up her cunt.

The tramp stood on the doorstep
With a cock like a piece of hose.
He asked my Lu to suck it off
And blow it through her nose.

The G, H, I and J texts are all from the Hubert Canfield collection, gathered in 1926.  Canfield's unidentified correspondent who sent in the J version labeled these "stray verses of 'Lulu.'"

[ K ]

My Lulu was arrested.
Ten dollars was her fine.
She said to the judge,
"God damn your soul, take it out of this old ass of mine."

Chorus:
Oh, it's bang away, my Lulu,
Bang away good and strong.
Where you gonna get your bangin'
When my Lulu's dead and gone?

Oh, I wish I was a diamond ring
Upon my Lulu's hand,
For every time she wiped her ass
I'd see the promised land.

I wish I was a shithouse rat, 
Running on a hardwood floor.
Everytime she took a leak, 
I'd see a little more.

Last chorus:
So, it's bang away, my Lulu,
Bang away good and stout.
Where you gonna get your bangin'
When your Lulu's all banged out.

The "K" text, with its unusual shift of choruses, is from fiddler William Bigford of Portland, Michigan, who sang it for Paul Gifford between 1975 and 1982.

[ L ]

Chorus: 
Bang, bang, Lulu,
Lulu's gone away,
Who's gonna bang bang,
When Lulu's gone away?

Some girls work in factories,
Some girls work in stores,
But Lulu works in a honky tonk,
With forty other whores.

Lulu had a baby,
It was an awful shock,
She couldn't call it Lulu,
'Cause the bastard had a cock.

I took her to the pictures,
We sat down in the stalls,
And every time the lights went out,
She'd grab me by the balls.

She and I went fishing,
In a dainty punt,
And every time she caught a sprat,
She'd stuff it up her cunt.

I wish I were the silver ring,
On Lulu's dainty hand,
Then every time she scratched her ass,
I'd see the promised land.

I wish I were the chamber pot,
Under Lulu's bed,
Then every time she took a piss,
I'd see her maidenhead.

Lulu had two boyfriends,
Both were very rich,
One was the son of a banker,
The other a son-of-a-bitch. 

Lulu had a boyfriend,
His name was Tommy Tucker,
He took her down the alley,
To see if he could fuck her.

Lulu had a boyfriend,
A funny little chap,
Every time they had a bit,
She'd get a dose of clap.

Lulu was a pretty girl,
She had a lot of class,
Mini-skirts she'd wear a lot,
To show off her pretty ass.

Lulu had a bicycle,
The seat was very sharp,
Every time she sat on it,
It would slip right in her arse.

Lulu had a boyfriend,
He was very fit,
Working all day on the farm,
His job was shoveling shit.

Lulu and a boyfriend,
A stunted little runt,
On day they went to have a bit,
And he vanished up her cunt.

Lulu had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket,
Every time the lamb jumped out,
The bulldog used to fuck it.

She and I went walking,
We walked along the grass,
She slipped on a banana peel,
And fell down on her arse.

Lulu made some porridge,
It was very thick,
Lulu wouldn't eat it,
She'd smear it on my dick.

Lulu's motorcycle,
It's seat was very blunt,
Every time she jumped on it,
It would stick her in the cunt.

	In hashing circles, this is inexplicably sung to the melody of "Good Night, Ladies," according to Paul Woodford.  It is number 140 in his collection of "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994).
	Woodford also includes as number 135 in his anthology a song entitled "Dinah," sung to an unidentified tune, with its own chorus, but verses borrowed from the familiar "Lulu."

Chorus: 
Dinah, Dinah, show us your leg,
Show us your leg, show us your leg,
Dinah, Dinah, show us your leg,
A yard above your knee.

I wish I were the diamond ring,
On Dinah's dainty hand,
Then, every time she wiped her ass,
I'd see the promised LAND, LAND, LAND!

The rich girl rides a limousine,
The poor girl rides a truck,
But the only ride that Dinah has,
Is when she has a RIGHT GOOD FUCK!

The rich girl uses a sanitary towel,
The poor girl uses a sheet,
But Dinah uses nothing at all,
Leaves a trail along the STREET, STREET, STREET!

The rich girl wears a ring of gold,
The poor girl one of brass,
But the only ring that Dinah wears,
Is the one around her ASS, ASS, ASS!

The rich girl wears a brassiere,
The poor girl uses string,
But Dinah uses nothing at all,
She lets the bastards SWING, SWING, SWING!

The rich girl uses Vaseline,
The poor girl uses lard,
But Dinah uses axle grease,
Because her cunt's so HARD, HARD, HARD!

The rich girl works in factories,
The poor girl works in stores,
But Dinah works in a honky-tonk,
With forty other WHORES, WHORES, WHORES!