From: Barry Gold Date: Sun, 13 Aug 95 07:44:53 PDT X-To: bawdy-l@bdragon.jjm.com Subject: Casey and the Bat Message-Id: <9508131444.AA27301@sv303.SanDiegoCA.attgis.com> X-Listname: Bawdy Filking To: Multiple.recipients.of.Bawdy.Filking@jjm.com Reply-To: bawdy-l@bdragon.jjm.com Errors-To: bawdy-owner@bdragon.jjm.com Sender: bawdy-owner@bdragon.jjm.com Status: RO X-Status: A Well, here it is at last, typed in and (I hope) proofread. Personally, I don't think it's anywhere near as good as "Eskimo Nell". But it's certainly a long, bawdy recitation. CASEY AND THE BAT Things had been extra quiet at The Mudville Bar, that night; For there hadn't been an argument, And there hadn't been a fight. The boys were leaning on the bar Having a drink or two, With nothing much to think about, And nothing much to do. They'd had a masturbation race A night or two before; They'd got a bitch and dog, last night, And bred 'em, on the floor. But now these harmless little games, Were over, through and done; And not a one of them could think Of how to have some fun. And just as Grogan muttered low; "I wish he had a whore." The damnedest bat in forty states Stood leering in the door. Her legs were bowed, her ass was broad Her waist but slightly less, Her teats (without an uplift bra) Were bigger than Mae West's. Her skirt was short, her gloves were long Her hat we'd best forget. In all your life, you've never seen A sadder sight, I'll bet. "Who wants to fuck?" this vision whined. "I only charge a buck." But several said, "We'd not fuck you At seven cents a fuck". She said, "If that's the case, may I Suggest a little bout? I've got a sawbuck here that says No man can tire me out." The crowd looked at each other, then They looked at her awhile. "I do believe she means it, boys." Said Grogan with a smile. "Of course I do," the Venus said, "I'll fuck from now til dawn." And Grogan winked, "O.K.", he said "I think we'll take you on." The bet was covered, the bat lay down And opened up her pants; "Come on," she said. "Who's gonna be The first to take a chance?" "It _is_ a chance," Pat Grogan said. "To fuck you is a sin. But I'll be first, I made the bet." And he lay and stuck it in. For seven minutes Grogan worked Before his pecker bent-- Then young Mike Shea came twice in ten In spite of good intent. And Big McGillicuddy lay Half-hour on the whore And when he rose, all limbered up, She gaily called for more. The Monohan and Hanrahan And old Mulvaney tried; And then poor Grogan tried again (Although he nearly died). And through it all, the bat lay there And squirmed and moaned and farted And ended up as gay and calm And fresh as when she started. And all the barflys muttered low At Grogan's second break; The honor of the Mudville Bar Was certainly at stake. Then Alderman O'Conner said, "The issue seems in doubt. Who will uphold our honor, men, And tire this bastard out?" And as they stood and wondered At that omnivorous womb, None other than big Casey Came striding in the room. "Ray!" cried the weakened heroes, No longer feeling sick, "Casey will surely conquer With his omnipotent prick." They quickly tell their story, Their qualms and fears all gone, And mighty Casey smiles at them And says, "I'll take her on." Said Shea, "The neighbor boys would like To see this, like as not. I say, let's have 'em hold the bout Down in Mulvaney's lot." "We will," responded Grogan, "And we won't do this like bums. I'll act as sort of umpire, to tell if each one comes." No sooner said than done, the crowd Hurried to get a place To see great Casey and the bat Commence the nookey race. There was ease in Casey's manner As he sank onto the grass, There was pride in Casey's bearing As he fiddled with her ass. And as unto the watching crowd He lightly doffed his hat, Each watcher knew that he'd come through When Casey fucked the bat. Two hundred eyes were on him As his balls dragged in the dirt, A hundred tongues applauded As he wiped them on her skirt. And now he sinks between her thighs And now he grins a grin, And the crowd all grins in sympathy As Casey sticks it in. He gets his hands around her ass And starts to bearing down, She twines her legs around his thighs And starts to go to town. And minute after minute passed And still they reared and bucked, And pitched and tossed, and rocked and rolled, And fucked, and fucked, and fucked. Till presently her movements sped But Casey's seemed to slow. He had the look of someone who Is just about to 'blow'. She gave a sudden thrilling twist. The dirty deed was done! "Hot damn!" said Casey soulfully, And the umpire said, "Strike one." "Fake," cried the maddened watchers, And echo answered, "Fake." But Casey pulled his penis out And gave the thing a shake. And as the watchers saw it drip A drop of pearly dew, Their cries died out in silence For they knew that it was true. But Casey lay right down again, To go right back to work. "There's plenty more where that came from," Said Casey with a smirk. Then stern he looks down at the bat And, sterner, at them all. And proud, he looks down at his prick, Which never droops at all. He lies back down upon the bat, He breathes a sigh and then, He spits upon his prick for luck. And sticks it in again. This time he didn't work so fast And Coyne was heard to say: "Can this be caution, do ye think?" "'Tis wisdom, man," said Shea. But his slow and steady movements Didn't seem to please the femme; For she started in to working at 1000 R.P.M. There didn't seem a single trick That woman didn't know. She twisted up and twisted down And twisted to and fro. Tell Casey, after quite a while Grunted a dreadful grunt, And rammed his pecker, fast and hard Into her grasping cunt. He pulled it out, and sheepishly He wiped its dripping head. "I guess I come," said Casey, and "Strike two!" the umpire said. The crowd was silent, filled with awe, And then they gave a groan. "I don't believe she's human," There were many heard to moan. But Casey, still magnanimous, Lifted a warning hand. "I'll win," he said, "But, Holy Mike! She fucks to beat the band." Again he sticks his penis in, Again he starts to poke, And for half an hour or more Keeps up a steady stroke. But every time he brings it down The bat comes up to meet him. And all the crowd is tense and taut For fear that she will beat him. And Casey feels his feelings rise And strains to keep from coming. And as for her, she gaily works, And damn it all, she's humming. And now his face gets redder as He tries to hold it back. He mutters as his penis hard, Slips in and out her crack. And now he strains, and tries to stop, And now he lets it go. And now her womb is shattered By the force of Casey's 'blow'. Oh, somewhere in this favored land The folks are getting rich. And maybe Hitler's still alive The God-damned son-of-a-bitch! And somewhere little boys fuck girls Without a care or doubt. But there is gloom in Mudville; Mighty Casey has struck out.