Ditties

The Irish Washerwoman

[ B ]

There lived an old lady way down in Dundee
And out of her asshole there grew a plum tree.
It grew so high you couldn't see the top.
You tickle her much and you see the plums drop.

[ C ]

Oh, Rory O'More, he got up in the night.
He felt of his balls to see if they's all right.
He put her on the bed and then on the floor.
Says Rory, "Now, easy, don't tease me no more."

[ D ]

I fucked an old lady, God damn her, God damn her.
She fucked herself with a shoemaker's hammer.
The hammer was blunt, and so was her cunt,
And so was the kid that come out with a jump.


	The "B-D" quatrains are from the considerable repertoire of the late William Bigford, of Portland, Michigan.  They were collected by fellow musician Paul Gifford of Flint, Michigan, prior to 1982.  (See the extended note about Bigford and Gifford under "Fiddle Tunes," below.)
	Gifford also collected from Bigford a version of the "A" text in Muse II.  Larson's "Barnyard" typescript has it from Idaho schoolchildren, ca. 1920-1952.

[ E ]

She ripped and she tore and she shit on the floor.
She wiped her ass on the knob on the door.
The moon shone bright on the top of her tit
And she brushed her teeth with bluebird shit.

	A nonsense rhyme that seems to float from tune to tune, this was collected by Paul Gifford of Flint, Michigan, from Rahn Wright, a barber in Williamston, Michigan.  Wright was about 40 years old when Gifford collected this in the late 1970's.  This verses also appears as a second stanza in "The Girl I Left Behind Me."