Susan Johns of Austin, Texas, to Cray, 6/22/96, as sung in SCA and Renaissance Fair circles:


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              The Moose Song                                         FILK


         When I was a young lad (lass) I used to like girls (knights),
         I'd play with their corsets(toys) and fondle their curls(tights).
         'Till one day, my lady I caught with some churl,
         Now you'd never get treated that way by a moose.

         CHORUS
        |----------------------------------------------------|
        | Moose, moose, I likes a moose,                     |
        | I've never had anything quite like a moose.        |
        | I've had lots of lovers, my life has been loose,   |
        | But I've never had anything quite like a moose.    |
        |----------------------------------------------------|

        Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
        I go to my closet and get me some hay.
        I go to my window and spread it around.
        'Cause moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

        CHORUS

        Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
        Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight.
        But it's just not the same when you slam your caboose,
        As the feeling you get when you humps with a moose.

        CHORUS

        I've done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
        I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
        I've done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
        But it's just not the same when you screw with a moose.

        CHORUS

        Now that I'm old and advanced in my years,
        I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
        As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matheus,
        Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.

        CHORUS