33.  MOOSE SONG
Melody--???

CHORUS (sung while making antlers on head with hands):
Moose, moose, I love a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose,
My life has been merry,
My women been loose,
But nothing compares to the love of a moose.
®PG¯
When I'm in the mood for a very fine lay,
I go to the closet and pull out some hay,
I open the window and spread it around,
Because moose will come running when there's hay on the 						ground.

HARRIERS' VERSES: When I was a young lad I played with 					the girls,
I'd fondle their titties and twirl their curls,
But my true love ran off with a classmate named Bruce,
I never got treated that way by a moose.

Women like pearls and diamonds and cars,
I spend all my money on them in bars,
But a moose is content to be tied to a tree,
While I find other mooses to satisfy me.

Now that I'm older and into my years,
I'll have you know that I shed no tears,
While I sit by the fire with a glass of Mateus,
Playing hide the salami with Marvin the Moose.

HARRIETTES' VERSES: All my past lovers did brag about size,
Those tales of twelve inches were nothing but lies,
But a moose is the size that a man ought to be,
That's why from now on it's mooses for me.

When I was much younger I read dirty books,
I stroked myself with each gazing look,
But nothing can make my eyes start to twinkle,
Then getting it off with that stud Bullwinkle.

From Paul Woodford, "Hash Songs II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)