154.  ON TOP OF OLD SOPHIE
Melody--On Top of Old Smoky

On top of old Sophie,
All covered in sweat,
I've used fourteen rubbers,
But she hasn't come yet.

For fucking's a pleasure,
And farting's relief,
But a long-winded lover,
Will bring nothing but grief. 

She'll kiss you and hug you,
Say it won't take long,
But two hours later,
You're still going strong.

So come all you lovers,
And listen to me,
Don't waste your erection,
On a long-winded she.

For your root will just wither,
And your passion will die,
And she will forsake you,
And you'll never know why.

From Paul Woodward, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)