219.  HASHER MEN (AND WOMEN)
Melody--This Old Man
(*** = Your favorite Hash)

HARRIETTES' VERSES: Knick knack paddy whack give themselves a bone,
*** men have sex alone.

*** men, they play one,
They think they have all the fun.

*** men, they play two,
They can't get it up to screw.

*** men, they play three,
They think they get sex for free.

*** men, they play four,
They can't get it up to score.

*** men, they play five,
They don't have enough sex drive. 

*** men, they play six,
Little men with little dicks.

*** men, they play seven,
Masturbation is their heaven.

*** men, they play eight,
They can't get their dicks in straight.

*** men, they play nine,
They take theirs up from behind.

*** men, they play ten,
Little boys who think they're men.

HARRIERS' VERSES: Knick knack paddy whack give themselves a tickle,
*** women use a pickle.

*** women, they play one,
They don't know how to get it on.

*** women, they play two,
They say, "Not now, I've got the flu."

*** women, they play three,
They say, "Not now, I've got to pee."

*** women, they play four,
They say, "Not now, who's at the door?"

*** women, they play five,
They'll cut your balls off with a knife.

*** women, they play six,
They're never satisfied with our pricks.

*** women, they play seven,
Life without sex is their idea of heaven.

*** women, they play eight,
They always seem to have a headache.

*** women, they play nine,
Their sex lives are in decline.

*** women, they play ten,
If they were better looking they might get some men.

From Paul Woodford, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)