214.  BAGPIPE SONG
Melody--Scotland the Brave

Here's to the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

CHORUS: Hold chair upside down to simulate bagpipes; make droning sound and tap throat to form notes . . .
Na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na,
Na na na na . . .

Then there was the jockey with his upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

Then there was the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

Then there was the queerie who was leerin' through his 					beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

Then there was the harlot makin' money in the car lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his 						beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

Then there was the HASHER who was posin' as a flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car 		lot,
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his 						beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

Then there was the wenchy doin' down-down on a benchie,
For the pleasure o' the HASHER who was posin' as a 					flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car 		lot,
To support the a'queerie who was leerin' through his 					beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie,
Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

Now the moral o' this ditty is when in Honolulu City,
And you're with your favorite girlie chasin' hairs all 					short and curly,
Just remember to take her hashin' and to give her a good 			bashin',
And keep her away from the wenchy doing down-down on the 			benchie,
For the pleasure o' the HASHER who was posin' as a 						flasher,
Hustlin' johnnies from the harlot makin' money in the car 		lot,	
To support the a' queerie who was leerin' through his 						beerie,
At the sight o' the cranky who was wankin' in his hankie,
At the thought o' the jockey with the upstandin' cocky,
Who was ridin' on the lassie with the black hairy assie, 		Who was liftin' up her kiltie at the Old Aloha Hash.

From Paul Woodford, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)