Blinded by Shit

There was a young maiden named Madeline Schmidt,
Who went to the doctor 'cause she couldn't shit,
He gave her some medicine all wrapped up in glass,
Up went the window and out went her ass!

Chorus: 
It was brown, brown, shit all around,
It was brown, brown, shit all around,
It was brown, brown, shit all around,
And the whole world was covered in SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

A handsome young copper was walking his beat,
He just happened to be on that side of the street,
He looked up so innocent, he looked up so shy,
And a big wad of shit hit him right in HIS EYE!

That handsome young copper he cursed and he swore,
He called that young maiden a dirty old whore,
And beneath London Bridge you can still see him sit,
With a sign 'round his neck saying BLINDED BY SHIT!

Two fast moving Hashers came running along,
Throwing flour and paper and singing their song,
Singing, "Hi-Diddle-Diddle," and flogging their dongs,
The hares were trail-setting, the pack wouldn't be long.

The hares found the copper alone by the pit,
Threw flour in the holes where his eyes used to fit,
The hares led the pack by a block and a bit,
Said, "We'll lead the damn pack through these puddles of SHIT!"

The hares led the pack to the edge of the pit,
They slipped and they slid in the puddles of shit,
They fell in the shiggy, right up to their tails,
Ere they sank out of sight, they marked it TRUE TRAIL!

The pack followed bravely, the pack followed true,
They followed the hares into that vile brew,
They followed true trail right into the pit,
Soon the whole pack of Hashers was drowning in SHIT!

This tale has a lesson if you think a bit,
Don't follow true trail right into the pit,
Remember that hares can be damn bloody fools,
And in Hashing, like loving, there's NO FUCKING RULES!

The British stage (?) song is adapted by hashers, those cross-crountry runners who follow a trail laid down by a "hare," the whole group ending in a grand beer bust with bawdy songs as entertainment.
Under the title of "Madeline Schmidt," this extension of "Blinded by Shit" is number 142 in Paul Woodford's collection, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994).  It is sung to the ubiquitous melody of "Sweet Betsy From Pike."


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