The Crafty Maid's Policy [A] Come listen a while, and I'll sing you a song Of three merry gentlemen riding along. They spied a fair maid, and to her did say, "We're afraid this cold morning will do you some harm." "Oh, no, kind sir," said the maid, "You're mistaken If you think this cold morning will do me some harm. There's one thing I crave, and it lies 'twixt your legs; If you'll give me that, it will keep me warm!" "Why then, since you crave it, my dear, you shall have it If you'll come with me to yonder green tree, And then, since you crave it, my dear, you shall have it! I'll stand these two gentlemen witness to me!" Straightway he lighted, and quickly, she mounted; And staring the gentleman hard in the face said, "You knew not my meaning; you wrong understood me." And away she went galloping down the long lane! "Oh, gentlemen, lend me one of your horses That I might ride after her down the long lane! If I overtake her, I warrant I'll make her Return unto me my own horse again!" But as soon as she saw the gentleman coming She instantly then took a pistol in hand, Saying, "Doubt not my skill, or that you I would kill . I'll have you stand back, or you are a dead man!" "Oh, why do you spend your time here in talking? Oh why do you spend your time here in vain? Come, give her a shilling, it's what she deserves, And I warrant she'll give you your horse back again." "Oh, no, kind sir, you are _vastly_ mistaken. If it is his loss, well, it is my gain! And you were the witness that he give it to me!" And away she went galloping down the long lane. This "*very* mildly bawdy ballad" was posted on the usegroup bawdy-l@bdragon.shore.net by Chris Croughton (chris@keris.demon.co.uk), with a request for information about it. "I don't have an attribution, so if anyone can tell me anything about it or corrections I'll be grateful ," Croughton acknowledged. In a reply, the editor suggested: "Your ballad, 'The Crafty Maid's Policy' seems to be a broadside [?] redaction of the English and Scottish popular ballad known as 'The Baffled Knight,' and numbered 112 in the canonical collection of those "muckle songs" gathered by Francis J. Child in the 19th C. The 'original' has a number of spin-offs, but the thrust of it seems to be that a man seeks to bed a maid traveling to her father's house or castle, and she evades rape by persuading him to ride with her to her father's house. When they arrive, she bolts inside, laughing at the dupe, saying he should have taken her when he would, for now he can't. The melody, collected often by Cecil Sharp and Ralph Vaughn Williams in England in the early years of the century, is featured in R V-W's "English Folk Song Suite." An American variant on the theme is "Katie Morey." A request for the melody prompted Croughton to reply on June 15, 1996, that he got the ballad "from a girl in America (in Chicago, or around there)," Cassy Beach, who eventually provided the melody indicated at [ A ]. On June 21, 1996, Ms. Beach noted in an e-mail that she "learned it at a filksing at a Science Fiction Convention some 10 years earlier. (If you don't know what a filksing is, it's, well, kind of science fictional folksinging... Chris Croughton can probably explain it better than I! "I do not know the attribution," Ms. Beach added. "One of the 'charms' of a filksing [see below] is that everybody sings songs by ANYBODY, without necessarily giving credit where credit is due, unfortunately. I was once told who wrote it, but of course I didn't have any paper or pencil to record it... Apparently, it is not a true "traditional" song, as I once thought, but does, in fact, have a fairly modern origin." Ms. Beach offered instruction on her own performance: "Rhythmically this song is very heavily 3/4 time.. The beat is strongly ONE two three ONE two three ONE two three throughout. If there's any doubt as to how to squeeze a few extra syllables into a particular line, bear that in mind, and put the emphasis where it feels right in the sentence. For example, the second verse, rhythmically, is: 'Oh, NO-o fine SIR, said-the MAID you're misTAKEn, if-you THINK this cold MORning would DO me some HARM. there's ONE thing I CRAVE, and-it LIES twixt your LEGS; if YOU'LL give me THAT, it WILL keep me WARM. ' "I tend to slightly shorten or lengthen notes depending on the verse, depending on the lyric, in order to lend emphasis. I also tend to put in a moderately long pause (not really a rest, more of a suspension of the time for a second) for dramatic tension and to let people fill in the blank with the obvious scatalogical [bawdy?] situation after 'and, staring the gentleman hard in the face, said "You knew not my meaning; (very slight break) you wrong understood me..." (pregnant pause) and away she went galloping.... ' Also I put in a strong ritard on the last verse and hit the words har d for '"and YOU were the witness that _ HE _ GIVE _ IT _ TO _ ME_'" ('"he ) give it to me'" are really pretty much dotted quarter notes>; then a full measure rest, and a tempo for 'and away she went galloping down the long lane!'" "I've only ever heard it performed a-cappella. Since I don't play an instrument well enough to appear in public, that's how I do it, too! , Croughton wrote. Filk singing, according to the "Frequently Asked Questions, No. 1" downloaded from the internet newsgroup rec.music.filk on August 18, 1996, is "the folk music of the science fiction/fantasy fan community." It is an agglomeration of parodies and original material, both humorous and series, dealing with science-fiction and fantasy themes, according to Nick Smith of the LA Filkharmonics. Said to have begun as much as fifty years ago at science fiction conventions, the original songs were parodies about the singers and those in attendance. Over time, Smith continued, people came to enjoy the songs for their own sake, and eventually song books and recordings were issued. "Over the last decade, Filk Music has reached the point where there are entire Filk Music gatherings, conventions, recording companies, and publications. Filk Music includes song parodies, original songs, and slightly musical poetry. It's a fun way to indulge in a little musical creativity, especially if you are a science fiction or fantasy fan as well as musically inclined. The name, news group moderator Kay Shapero, added, the name started out as a typo of "folk" and "was gleefully adopted by all and sundry as a term for what is after all a somewhat unusual subset." > >Anyway; here's the first verse: > >[3/4] {} > D | \G B C | D+ D- E- | D \A C | B+ \ G | > Come, lis-ten a while, and I'll sing you a song, of > > /G E D | C D E | F G. E- | D+ / G | > Three mer-ry gen-tle-men rid-ing a- long. They > > G \D E | F+ F | E D C | B+ \G- G- | > spied a fair maid, and to her did say, "We're a- > > / D D E | F \A B | C B. \G- | G+ , | ,+ /D > fraid this cold mor-ning will do you some harm. "Oh...." > > [ B ] An identical text, with no tune indicated, was forwarded by Susan Johns of Austin, Texas, on June 22, 1996, as sung in Renaissance Fair and Society of Creative Anachronism circles in that region. It is included in the Xeroxed songbook "The Black Book of Locksley," which is attributed to Joseph Bethancourt of Tucson, Arizona.