113.  THESE FOOLISH THINGS
Melody--These  Foolish Things
(Take turns leading verses)

A pair of boobies in a loose brassiere,
A cunt that twitches like a moose's ear,
A dirty rubber in my glass of beer,
These foolish things remind me of you.

CHORUS: Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo-da-doo-da-doo-doo-doo-doo, etc . . .

A naked photograph of Liberace,
The smile you show when I say, "Such a hotche,"
Syphilitic scars that make your face so blotchy,
These foolish things remind me of you.

A running sore beside an open hole,
A Kotex floating in the toilet bowl,
A pubic hair on my breakfast roll,
These foolish things remind me of you.

Lipstick traces on an old French letter,
A dose of "you-know-what" that won't get better,
And when I piss it stings,
These foolish things remind me of you.

The dirty panties in the cracked washbasin,
The broken jerry that I washed my face in,
The bed with the creaking springs,
These foolish things remind me of you.

An old dead fetus on a marble slab,
A toothless blowjob in a taxi cab,
A great big hard on with a syphilitic scab,
These foolish things remind me of you.

When I awoke upon the morning after,
I saw your tits and pissed myself with laughter,
Oh, how the left one swings!
These foolish things remind me of you.

The birth control book with its well-worn pages,
The contraceptive which comes off in stages, 
Oh, how my foreskin stings!
These foolish things remind me of you.

From Paul Woodford, "Hash Hymns II" (Honolulu, Hawaii, 1994)