High Above a Theta's Garter

	There is a winning, if stubborn persistence in oral tradition that keeps even slight songs alive through the generations.  So it is with this variant on the parody first collected around 1959 at UCLA, and remembered to this day:

High above the Pi Phi's garter,
Way above her knee,
Lies the source of my contentment
Her virginity.
	Roll her over, every gently,
	Lay her on the grass.
	All that I have ever wanted
	A piece of Pi Phi ass.

	This is included in the photocopied "Songbook of Sigma Pi," compiled at UCLA circa 1990-1992, a copy of which was furnished by Ms. Kelly Besser.
	
	From Fort Benning, Georgia's Officers Candidate School, circa 1944, comes this variant of the sardonic "alma mater" of fledgling infantry officers given in the notes to "High Above a Theta's Garter."  It was sent to the editor by Professor Emeritus Rowland Berthoff, who was a "birddog" or training officer there.

High above the Chattahoochie,
By the Upatoy,
Stands our noble alma mater,
Benning School for Boys.
	Ever forward, never backward,
	Follow me, they say;
	Those who die are goddamned lucky;
	The rest shall live in pain.