Yo Ho, Yo Ho

[ B ]

	The "A" text of this formula song was from the University of Southern California.  This "B" text is fittingly from cross-town rival UCLA.

I put my hand upon her toe, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her toe, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her toe; 
She said, "Little boy, you're much	too slow.
Get in, get out, stop fucking about, yo ho, yo ho."

I put my hand upon her knee, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her knee, yo ho, yo ho.
I put my hand upon her knee;
She said, "Little boy, you're teasing me.
Get in, get out, stop fucking about, yo ho, yo ho."

I put my hand upon her breast... "Little boy, is that your
	best?"

I put my hand upon her twat... "Little boy, your making me
	hot."

I put my cock into her mouth... "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

And now she lies in old pine box... She couldn't handle
	Theta Xi cocks.

We dig her up every now and then... We fucked her once,
	We'll fuck her again.

	Taken from the Theta Xi songbook of 1992, a copy of which was furnished by Ms. Kelly Besser.  This song was one of those which led to the fraternity's temporary suspension that year.

[ C ]

	A second text from UCLA, this from a Phi Kappa Psi songbook of 1991-1992, is similar:

I placed my hand upon her toe, yo ho, yo ho.
I placed my hand upon her toe, yo ho, yo ho.
I placed my hand upon her toe.
She said, "Phi Psi, you're way too low.
Shove it in, shove it out, quit fuckin' about, yo ho, yo ho.

I placed my hand upon her thigh.
She said, "Phi Psi, you're way too sly."

I placed my hand upon her tit.
She said, "Phi Psi, go for the clit."

I placed my hand upon her snatch.
She said, "Phi Psi, go for the hatch."

I placed my cock inside her mouth.
She said, "Phi Psi, AGHAAAAA!"

We laid her out in a pinewood box.
She died from sucking Phi Psi cocks.

We dig her up every now and then.
We fucked her once we'll fuck her again.

[ D ]

	A third variant from UCLA, circa 1990-1992, is in "The Songbook of Sigma Pi," a photocopied text of which Ms. Kelly Besser furnished the editor.  It is the only text which indicates that this is to be sung to "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again."   Its stanzas run:

I put my hand upon her toe,
Chi O, Chi O.
I put my hand upon her toe,
Chi O, Chi O.
I put my hand upon her toe,
She said, "Hey, Pi,
You're way too low.
Get in. Get it out.
Stop fucking about."
Chi O. Chi O.

	"Chi O" is the sorority Chi Omega.


Drive It On

[ B ]

Oh, I gave her inches one; she said, "Honey, this is fun.
Put your belly next to mine, drive it home, drive it home."

Oh, I gave her inches two; she said, "Honey, I love you.
Put your belly next to mine, drive it home, drive it home."

Oh, I gave her inches three; she said, "Honey, ooh, wee.
Put your belly next to mine, drive it home, drive it home."

Oh, I gave her inches four; she said, "Honey, give me more."

Oh, I gave her inches five; she said, "Honey, it's alive."

®RM73ŻOh, I gave her inches six; she said, "Honey, I want more dick."

Oh, I gave her inches seven; she said, "Honey, this is
	heaven."

Oh, I gave her inches eight; she said, "Honey, this is great."

Oh, I gave her inches nine; she said, "Honey, this is fine."

Oh, I gave her inches ten; she said, "Honey, do it again."

Oh, I gave her inches eleven; she said, "Honey, this is still
	heaven."

(Slow)
Oh, I gave her inches twelve; she said, "Honey, this is hell.
Put your dick back in your pants and drive me home, drive me
	home."

	As printed in the "Songs of Theta Xi" songbook, UCLA, 1992, a copy of which was furnished by Ms. Kelly Besser.