05/28/2004 An ENT surgeon, immoral, Caused a strange matrimonial quarrel. He, in deed cavalier, Screwed his wife's deaf left ear, For he'd heard sex was good when 'twas aural. 55036 POSITIONS Derry Down Derry P8711 A wild man who lives in Siberia Preferred the approach posterior. By his definition The missionary position Was awkward, perverse and inferior. 55037 POSITIONS Norm Brust Spurned by high-flying acrobat Claire, The wolfish lout slicked back his hair And foretold with a leer, To all who could hear, "She'll soon have a crack up in midair." 55038 POSITIONS Chris Kocsis P9103 A girl who was quitting the Hyatt Announced to her boss, Mr. Wyatt, "I've found my ambition - A great new position." He said, "Close the door and let's try it." 55039 POSITIONS David Miller P8208 "What happened between you and Clyde, Who made love to you one night outside In the hammock?" asked Sue. "Oh, I thought you knew. We fell out," Henrietta replied. 55040 POSITIONS A. N. Wilkins P8405 An adulterous housewife from Crete, In screwing was very discreet; When she had an affair, She would fuck in the chair, So her bed would remain very neat. 55041 POSITIONS Cap'n Bean P0107 An odd fellow from old Navaronne, Had accomplished by methods unknown, A bizarre new position That involved micturition, But no one has yet asked to be shown. 55042 POSITIONS Robert Elliot The agile contortionist Burgess Said, "Dear, I've a new way to merge us. They contorted a knot Which was drawn up so taut, That the church bells are now tolling dirges." 55043 POSITIONS Albin Chaplin 3024-0659 Said the pedantic, romantic technician, "Cotion's gross juxtaposition. Such a bestial antic Should drive a girl frantic... Paradoxically, it's her LIFE MISSION!" 55044 POSITIONS Grand Prix Lim 928 I sit here, my legs strangely angled. My ankles are feeling quite strangled, In a pose they call lotus. Please call Dr. Otis; Perhaps he can get me untangled. 55045 POSITIONS Tiddy Before you untangle your body, Let me check out your little roddy. I say! That's quite nice! A lovely device! Perhaps we can do something naughty? 55046 POSITIONS Said a young bride in search of new kicks, "I'm tired of the usual tricks; We've tried 69, And although it is fine, Tonight dear, let's try 96!" 55047 POSITIONS Norm Storer A man in a rut had Miss Brown; His routine in bed caused a frown. One more session in bed And she broke down and said, "No more I'll take this lying down!" 55048 POSITIONS Albin Chaplin Ah, "Beds", now there is a word As useful as any I've heard. The oyster's are moister In whorehouse or cloister, And sex in a rose bed's absurd. 55049 POSITIONS There was an old person of Dover Who rushed through a field of blue clover; But some very large bees Stung his elbows and knees. His missionary days are all over. 55050 POSITIONS Edwardian Leer 048 P9306 When Harry acquired great HEFT, His Olive Oyl sweetie quick left, Declined to be at Where she'd be squashed flat. Now lonely, poor Harry's bereft. 55051 POSITIONS Chris Papa Which goes to show the condition Of folks who are damned to perdition. In a dreary world caught 'Cause no one had taught Other than Missionary Position. 55052 POSITIONS Chris Papa Young Rene, she wanted a lay, She invited a boy home to play. While they fucked on the table, They found it unstable, So they finished and threw it away. 55053 POSITIONS Anon A certain young fellow named Kelly Screwed his girlfriend on top of the telly. Ignoring the drama, He'd rama and rama, While she watched the show on her belly. 55054 POSITIONS When to his bitch he went dashin', He found her in heat; i.e. passion. They were both hot-to-trot, Of course, and why not? They wanted it to be "people fashion." 55055 POSITIONS Ed Wolfert P8306 My husband was married before To a witch who's a consummate bore; But she did train him right. He makes dinner each night, With a roll on the table or floor. 55056 POSITIONS Ann Gasser P9311 "With my wife pronovalent," said Drew, "And with me stasivalent, we knew (only screw standing) On the night we were married That our plans had miscarried And that we're destined never to screw." (pronovalent - able to only screw prone) 55057 POSITIONS A. N. Wilkins P8801 Some intriguing sex modes of Penticton, Although seldom the kind to convict on, Do include one or two Of the sort that a few Of the townsfolk are overly strict on. 55058 POSITIONS Keith MacMillan 104a Dear Ann, I've a fire that smoulders. I'm eager for lifting great boulders. Pretend they're your thighs And just close your eyes... I'll lift them to over your shoulders. 55059 POSITIONS Michael Polo P8909 A husband came into the kitchen And said, "Honey I'm itchin' For a new position In our next coition; The thought of it starts my log twitchin'!" 55060 POSITIONS Jeanie His wife said, "You may be right, sweetheart. And I know just where we should start. You stand by the sink And make dishes clink. I'll sit on the sofa and fart. 55061 POSITIONS Jeanie If Malthus in his propositions Was right about crowded conditions, Then for sex, we must say, We will screw in one way; There'll be no room to change our positions. 55062 POSITIONS Albin Chaplin 3024-2757 Asleep after she had been fed, I proceeded to position my head. Before she awoke, I gave her a poke, And then blew a load on the bed! 55063 POSITIONS Limberick I think I will take a short rest; We have all night, this is not a test. And when I recover, We'll try to discover Which of the ways we like best! 55064 POSITIONS Kaylin You're wishing to ride my large dong? Well, hop on and pump hard and strong, 'Cause my pecker's erect And I'm horny as heck -- I've enough here to ride all night long! 55065 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE I'm crushed and I may not recover From boffing my heavyset lover; However, if I Recoup, I might try To offer to boff her above her. 55066 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Travis Brasell Loretta is randy and hot; She loves to rub choad in her twat. When she grinds her muff Way down on my stuff, Her 38 C's bounce a lot. 55067 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Jim Weaver Collection All sweaty with titties a-bouncing! Your quimmy all oozy and pouncing! This angle too soft? Go on, break it off! Just give me the ultimate flouncing! 55068 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE H That's one lovely tool you have there; I am glad you have chosen to share. Your hips I will straddle, And ride you sans saddle, And feel you buck and thrust like a mare 55069 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE They'll be pert and quite ready for suckin', And your puss will be juicy for fuckin'. And as we reminisce About our first kiss, You'll be ridin' my horsey, a-buckin' 55070 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE The women, Australian, take pride In being a DOWN UNDER bride. But when passions grow, UP OVER they go So DOWN UNDER men they can ride. 55071 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Irving Superior P8611 I've never really felt inferior Being had by a "female superior." When she's riding on top I'll only make her stop If I want to finish in her posterior. 55072 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE But then sleep never comes really quick; A warm soapy rag oft does the trick. For if I drift off After such a boff, I may awaken with shit on the stick. 55073 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE In Melbourne it may be a blunder To tell a he-man that you wonder If it seems a bit wry To know when a guy, When he rogers a girl, is down under. 55074 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE A. N. Wilkins P8611 With my face in your tits, I'm in love, Especially when you're riding above. You moan with such class, When I play with your ass, And your coo's are just like a dove. 55075 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE M Foster For smart girls, a matter of pride Is to keep sand from scratching their hide. When climax they reach, On a moonlit beach, They do it while riding astride. 55076 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Frank Fazed She felt sleepy, but later I woke her, I said, "Cherie, I want to polka." And she really let rip When I opened my zip, As she cunningly straddled my joker. 55077 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Peter Wilkins How I smile when I think of Charmaine; When on top, she can go like a train. And this female express Would outrun even Bess, If I don't let the train take the strain. 55078 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Tiddy Ogg Charmaine often makes fellows wait, (Or so report many a date,) She'll bounce on their dong, But takes far too long, Like trains, man, she often comes late. 55079 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Tiddy Ogg I'd still take Charmaine over Shirley, Who only comes once and too early. When doing a boff From on top she gets off, So quick I'm left loaded and surly. 55080 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE John Miller On the coast of the Indian Ocean, She smothered his boner with lotion; Then she straddled his rod, And she coaxed out his wad With a highly elaborate motion. 55081 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Cap'n Bean I think that on top might be best. 'Cause, look - then your hair won't get messed. It does not look easy And might make me queasy. I'm not putting THAT to the test. 55082 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE A lady returned with remorse From a trip to the land of the Norse. It was not to her liking To be fucked by a Viking, Who had failed to dismount from his horse. 55083 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Albin Chaplin 3024-0751 A Rice business major named Clyde Told his date as he slid it inside, "I'd much rather you'd hop On and function atop, Than to lie there while I am astride." 55084 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Arthur Deex P0112 My Pappy, when I was a pup, Every night gave advice 'fore we'd sup: "When you're riding a while, Don't omit doggie style, And for God's sake, son, please don't fuck up!" 55085 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE What's that? "Don't fuck up", said your pop? I hope that does not make you stop Your playing around, With your back to the ground; It's good with the lady on top. 55086 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE When Sue from her clothing is freed, She loves using me as a steed. She jiggles and wriggles, And bounces and giggles Like a kangaroo dosed up on speed. 55087 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Tiddy Ogg A gorgeous young girl from Spokane Was broiling her ass for a tan -- On the sand, in the sun, All the while having fun, On top of some satisfied man. 55088 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Armand E Singer 144 You lick me a bit 'round the choad, And whip up a frightful large load. When "Waitress!" I scream, Sit tight on my stream, Then serve me your pie "a la mode." 55089 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE There was a young girl from Dundee Who fancied she gave too much free. Her young man felt a pang When he heard her harangue, He lay back and said, "This one's on me." 55090 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Albin Chaplin 3024 P8707 He went out with the fat Mrs Pate. Went to bed 'cause they both couldn't wait. Their breathing, it quickened. Then he was so sickened, As he died underneath the wet date. 55091 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Tom Patton P0209 You prefer on the bottom, you say? Just here, or for rolls in the hay? Up or down, side by side, I am glad to oblige; "When in Rome" as my lady doth say. 55092 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Joe Long Deb climbs onto Tom when they boff. She grips him so tight he can't doff Her. Once while she clung She said Tom was dung -- So he told her just where to get off. 55093 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE A lusty young woman named Ida Told her lover as he slid it inside her, "Wouldn't you rather be Underneath as 'ridee' Than on top in the role of the rider?" 55094 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Grand Prix Lim 714 P0112 There was an effete lazy fop Who preferred all his women on top. He said, "I'm no jerk, Let them do the work. But if I get pregnant, I'll stop. 55095 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Isaac Asimov Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily, Said. "I should do this more than daily! Jogging, tennis, and a swim Will keep me in trim, But bonking on top is my main glee! 55096 POSITIONS - ASTRIDE Hurricane NZ A young missionary named Kyle Sat his dog down to talk for awhile. He began, "My wife's wishin' To change our position, And said she admired your style." 55097 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Anon Last evening I gave her a smile; She noticed it stuck out a mile. Pretty soon, in the dark, We both started to bark; Don't y'all love that ole Doggy style? 55098 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Frank A dog-fashion fucker named Nellie, Said she never screwed belly to belly. "On my back there's no feeling, All I see is the ceiling. And I miss all the good shows on Telly." 55099 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Albin Chaplin A young girl from North Carolina Let the boys come inside her vagina. "You can say all you want About fondness for cunt, But with dog-fashion, nothing feels finer." 55100 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Actaeon Said the convert to Pope Constantine, As he knelt at the Vatican shrine, "Please advise your position On connubial coition." Said the Pope, "I find dog-fashion fine." 55101 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Albin Chaplin 3024-2954 There was a Young lassie named Wainwright Who enjoyed the position a dog might. Over her shoulder she found, When she looked around, A whole new meaning for hindsight. 55102 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE To spice up his sex life, young John Said, "Darling, new plans I have drawn. We will try it dog-fashion." But she said with face ashen, "You will never get me on the lawn." 55103 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Albin Chaplin 3024-0715 Said the groom to the blushing young bride, "There is something I have to confide: At the height of my passion I prefer it dog-fashion, So bend over and pooch out your back-side!" 55104 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE G1042a She taught me to sit up and beg, While I'd rather bury my peg. But every day I do get to play, By wrapping my paws round her leg. 55105 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE There once was a fellow named Greg With designs on a young lass named Meg. "Let's do it doggy style," He said with a smile, So she made him sit up and beg. 55106 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Jim Weaver Collection Tyrone spied a mighty fine bitch; He asked her if she'd scratch his itch. The whore dropped her drawers, And got down on all fours, And they fucked like two dogs in a ditch. 55107 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Mustafa X These newlyweds stripped in the dark. He said, "Let's screw like dogs in the park." "I've heard of this before; I'll get down on all fours, But tell me when I'm supposed to bark!" 55108 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Laurence Craft Last night, in the height of great passion, I said: "How about doggie fashion?" She said: "You are sick, Try and lick your own dick, All you'll get is, you'll end up in traction." 55109 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE The girl was from Greece. Turkish, he. And each looked at each amorously. When off they to bed, He, "doggie style" said In Turkish and she, "That's Greek to me." 55110 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Irving Superior P9911 A young girl from North Carolina, Let her dogs come inside her vagina. You can say what you want, 'Bout their fondness for cunt, But doggie-style, nothing feels finer. 55111 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Actaeon There once was a fellow named Og Who just fell in love with his dog. With a pet-loving smile, They'd screw doggie-style, Which is better than screwing a Wog. 55112 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Jim Weaver Collection A true convert of canine grand-prix, The old bitch was finally man-free. The stoop doggy-style, Did suit her awhile, Till she saw my prick hang past my knee. 55113 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Christopher Kraft I love you my lucious delectable Lover; you make mine erectable So please now bend over, I'll do you like rover, Once I find the hole that's injectable. 55114 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Jon Gearhart "We're deriving no pleasure at all, While screwing dog fashion", cried Paul. But they make no transition To the Missionary Position, 'Cause they're watching Monday Night Football. 55115 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE The Sailor P0311 Just wiggle your little behind, And before you can blink, you will find Yourself down on your knees And your hands, if you please, For a furious doggy-style grind. 55116 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE "My Arthur's gone kinky," said Peg. "'I want doggy fashion', he'd beg. At last I agreed; He coked his leg, peed, And then started humping my leg." 55117 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Tiddy In the dark while going doggie style, Good moves bring an ear to ear smile. But proceed with due care, 'Cause I've been made aware Misplaced inches can feel like a mile. 55118 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Anon Oh Honey, I got your love letter, And Damn, I just couldn't be wetter! But don't be in alt; It isn't your fault. I've been peed on by my Irish Setter. 55119 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Marty Lewis Oh Honey, you just made me smile; But that only lasted a while. For now you will find, This wasn't in mind When writing about "doggy style." 55120 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE SFA Oh Honey, it's dog style you need? Then just like my setter, proceed To sit up and beg And then hump my leg, But never quite do the real deed. 55121 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Marty Lewis I too have been feeling quite groggy; My brain has been scattered and foggy. I think what I'm needin' Is just a hard breedin', And you've offered one with style of doggie. 55122 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE There's a lithesome young lady from Luxor In a bagnio who men pay big bucks for. She'e so nimbly adept In all postures except Doggie Style makes her knees and her knucks sore. 55123 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Bob Giandomenico P9206 Do not throw out these rules in the bin; The consequences are (when you just grin) Like with this young Yuppie -- His girl got a puppy, From the position she was in! 55124 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Jojo A man, who we really can't name, Who brought "Dog Fashion" to fame, Realized (with a smile) That by using that style, He could screw while still watching the game! 55125 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE A hillbilly from Carolina Married a cute girl from China. She likes to screw The way dogs do, So he spends lots of time behind her! 55126 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Jim Weaver Collection Rednecks are simple, you see; Preferring Budweiser to tea. Doggy style's the way They do it Sunday; So they can both watch the TV. 55127 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE A jocular joker named Clayte Said, "Broads shy away from my weight, So to soothe the old passion We do it dog fashion, While watching TV, Man, it's great!" 55128 POSITIONS - DOG STYLE Grand Prix Lim 578 When Sally has time for her pleasure, She ties herself up with a tether, Which holds her in limbo, With legs spread akimbo, So men can dip in at their leisure. 55129 POSITIONS - HANGING Tim Chimera If it's S and or M that you're after, May I suggest that you hang from a rafter, A kit to suspend Her little rear end, And provide hours and hours of laughter. 55130 POSITIONS - HANGING I R Canuck I'm counting on your innovation To stop any sexual stagnation. Is there just one more twist That we might have missed? In our quest for Best Fornication. 55131 POSITIONS - HANGING Peter Wilkins I've many more twists -- an idea: Let me swing from your gilt chandelier. If you lie on your back, I'll take aim at your crack And impale you, dear, on my spear. 55132 POSITIONS - HANGING Karen Then we'll swing with the greateest of ease Through a hundred and eighty degrees. As I suck on your nips, Keep a grip with your lips 'Round my pecker and give it a squeeze. 55133 POSITIONS - HANGING Peter Wilkins Now hanging in doorways ain't bad; T'was where some of the best fun was had! At night the shops shut, And there's many a slut, Giving head to a horny young lad! 55134 POSITIONS - HANGING Jayne But we're open now; please clear the door, Or the shoppers can't come in the store. After closing you may Use the stoop any way, When the horny young lad's back for more. 55135 POSITIONS - HANGING Karen I was just having some fun; I don't think that you were the one, And we sold our store. I don't care any more, But it does make a shop hard to run. 55136 POSITIONS - HANGING Karen If you want to have sex that's profound, Then try the position I found. Grab the fan on the ceiling With your legs -- what a feeling, As it spins you around and around. 55137 POSITIONS - HANGING Travis Brasel There was a young lady named Beard, Went back to the town she was reared. And fronted and floored And up-against-the-doored... And once in a while -- chandeliered! 55138 POSITIONS - HANGING H Myers T9801 The best way's position fourteen; You're aware of the one that I mean? It involves chandeliers Harness, pulleys and gears, And increases the tension between... 55139 POSITIONS - HANGING Peter Wilkins ...Us until you're a quivering heap And you lose all control as I leap On your bones with a shout. Stop squirming about And get into position. Now keep... 55140 POSITIONS - HANGING Peter Wilkins ...Yourself still as I aim for your rear. GERONIMO! Here comes my spear! Like a heat-seeking missle... Damn! Hear that whistle As WHOOSH, I misfire in your ear. 55141 POSITIONS - HANGING Peter Wilkins There once was a physicist, Bill, Who thought of a new way to drill; He'd harness his balls And hang from the walls, A weightless and dangerous thrill! 55142 POSITIONS - HANGING Mark Levy P9707 There was once a fellow from Turkey, Whose taste in sex was quite QUIRKY. His wife held her tongue As upside-down she hung, But it made her quite nervous and jerky. 55143 POSITIONS - HANGING Norm Brust There was a young fellow named Yost Who said that his girl was the most. Although she was half-blind, In a wheel-chair confined, She was had as she hung on a post. 55144 POSITIONS - HANGING Albin Chaplin The man of a young girl named Glover Attempted a new way to love her. She was held by a 'copter, But the poor pilot dropped her, And it took him a month to recover. 55145 POSITIONS - HANGING Albin Chaplin A killer dwarf came from Stavanger; He'd take a whore home, then he'd hang her In the hall, on a nail, Then he'd stand on a pail, From which height he'd happily bang her. 55146 POSITIONS - HANGING Tiddy Ogg A dwarf wed a giantess, Randall, And the way they made love was a scandal. For instead of a bed With a pail on her head, They screwed as he swung from the handle. 55147 POSITIONS - HANGING Bob Giandomenico P8712 A hasty young lady named Gore No longer could wait any more. By her man tall and handsome, She was had through a transom; There was no time to unlock the door. 55148 POSITIONS - HANGING Albin Chaplin There was a young whore in Nantasket Who would fuck (for a price) in a basket. She could make it spin 'round, And jounce up and down, While her client below blew his gasket. 55149 POSITIONS - HANGING G0705 Although it is quite nice to vary, Some of those positions are scary -- I prefer to ride Nice and easy, astride, Or the comfortable old missionary! 55150 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY An experiened lecher from Mission Was describing the arts of coition. Said an aging old pop, "I just lays on top." Cried the lecher, "A brand new position!" 55151 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Hugh Oliver A053A On my back, with my legs in the air, As you search among my pubic hair, I sure do take pride At the treasure inside; Come and get it, dear Snooks, if you dare -- 55152 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY With physique resembling a loach, 'Twas only her rear I could broach; But often, my sweet, For a change and a treat, I would rather the frontal approach. 55153 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Well, not only the female physique Can surprise; Though with clever technique He would charm her real quique His most honored Yang Peaque, Was so small and incredibly weaque. 55154 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY A lady who favors coition, Has invented the spaceship position. She lies down with ease, And pulls up her knees, And hollers, "Lift off!" and "Ignition!" 55155 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY At last, a returning young bimbo Who wasted some time with old Jimbo. She's now on her back And offering her crack, With both of her legs out, akimbo. 55156 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY There once was a fellow called Keith Who was getting quite long in the teeth. In the mission position, He bowed to tradition, But was much more relaxed underneath. 55157 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Dick Hedger A young ape, very bright, but quite hairy, Was brought up in a strict seminary. When he grew up and found Time for messing around, The position was pure missionary. 55158 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY William N. Nesbit P9701 A preacher, just back from a mission, Admitted with pious contrition That he'd failed as a priest To save souls--but at least, He had taught them a brand-new position. 55159 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Norm Storer P9612 A rugged young lady named Good Stood up to a man in the wood. They could see where his knees Skinned the bark off the trees, For she stood a lot more than he could. 55160 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Albin Chaplin 3024-0700 'Missionary Position' will stop When women find their niche on top. When erections go (Man's greatest blow) You'll find you're a lollypop. 55161 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Irving Superior P8808 Said the Pussy Galore of Brunswick, "When asked for my preference, I pick The old family position For big bouts of coition, But some fellows just give it a lick..." 55162 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Grand Prix Lim 721 We've been told since the old days of yore, Woman's place is supine, evermore, While the man moves above, All the while they make love. Did this come from some old hazy lore? 55163 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Bob Giandomenico P0308 When caught fucking boys near the mission, The chief heard the threat of perdition. Seems the previous priest (A buggering beast) Told him this was the missionary position. 55164 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Jim Weaver Collection Here's an idea that's a gas; A cure for the bored, humping lass. Before you make love, Tack a mirror above, Then count all the bumps on his ass. 55165 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY This ceiling is lumpy and weird. I pondered, as at it I peered. A zillion small bumps To count while he humps -- Not very much fun, I'm afeared. 55166 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY His butt is as bumpy as bark. It'd be fun to count every mark I'd better learn Braille, A "mirror count" would fail: He'll only have sex in the dark. 55167 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Well girls if you want us to jump To attention while having a hump, Try squirming around With a whimpering sound, 'Stead of lying inert like a lump. 55168 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY I did try to squirm all around But that just caused trouble. I found. It threw off his aim, And I got the blame When his juices went on the ground. 55169 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Last time that we both hit the sack I painfully sprained my dear back; For to pleasure my love Tried to squirm like above. Writhe with pain now - the damned bed went CRACK! 55170 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Sweet Sally is best when supine With a pillow placed under her spine, To improve the gyration Of counter rotation And twists in the old bump-and-grind. 55171 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY John Miller Our usual starting position Finds me wishing I were a magician, Who could turn you to glass, From your head to your ass. Then at least I could watch television. 55172 POSITIONS - MISSIONARY Pierce Evans Of sexual themes multifarious, 'Tis true that many are AERIOUS, And some that exploit Skills of the adroit, But others are simply hilarious. 55173 POSITIONS - MOTLEY J'Carlin A Japanese man, name of Hideo, Spent a night with a whore, for his libido. He practiced coition In every position, Whilst recording it all on his video. 55174 POSITIONS - MOTLEY There was a young woman named Cora Lee, Who said, "I will do it immorally. On top and on bottom, Any way that I've got 'em, Vaginally, anally, orally." 55175 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Isaac Asimov A rounded young love of Belle Air, Laid guys on the floor, bed or chair, In the breakfast nook, kitchen Or parlor she'd pitch in... If the guy had the cash, who should care? 55176 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Grand Prix Lim 517 She first met a man for some action. His foreplay gave her satisfaction. They enjoyed coition In the strangest position; His femur is now up in traction. 55177 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Stephen Cordwell A clever young cockster named Vinal Invented positions: synclinal, Head down, with legs high, And God knows just why, The ultimate: cerebrospinal! 55178 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Armand E Singer 383 Did you your desire ever sate, Attempting position one eight? Or was it just fine In position nine -- And then did his passion deflate? 55179 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Bells and whistles and tooters, Airline strikes and stranded commuters, Politics and science And a lot of defiance, But mostly just pussy and hooters 55180 POSITIONS - MOTLEY A seven foot tall lady angler Fell in love with a bucking horse wrangler. They attempted to court But the bunk was too short; In the morning they couldn't untangle her. 55181 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Cow Sheep Petersen Rhodes A childless old fellow named Otis Just served his dear wifemate due notice: She must try new positions To increase his emissions, Like missionary or lotus. 55182 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Armand E Singer 875 There was a young lady named May When queried on ways she did play, She replied, "Twenty four, And there aren't any more." She forgot the American way. 55183 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Albin Chaplin A skillful professional wench Is one who'd on no account blench At active coition In any position, Including the Greek and the French. 55184 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Isaac Asimov An amorous fellow named Bart Was pressing his girl to his heart. She remarked in a daze, "Will you love me always?" He said, "Yes! Tell me how shall I start?" 55185 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Albin Chaplin 3024-1944 Sexual positions are fun With who, where, and how they are done. I know quite a few; I'm sure you do to. Please join me in trying each one. 55186 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Jon Gearhart A curious cunter named Jay Screwed newly-found fillies each day, In varied positions, Revealing ambitions To waste not that sun, which makes hay. 55187 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Armand E Singer 300 To his concubine Percy cried, "Toots! Let's make love by circuitous routes. You jump on the bed And stand on your head, While I show you why all men are brutes!" 55188 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Guy Wernham P9306 An amorous monster named Biddle Admitted he did love to diddle, But added, "In reference To sexual preference, Most anything goes, near the middle." 55189 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Armand E Singer 913 Sex is so boring, I find; I lay on my back and just grind. A new variation Could renew my elation, So suggest one and come blow my mind. 55190 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Countrygirl My fav is the woman on top; That way on her nips I will sop. Bumping and grinding, Her screaming no minding, Feels so good I will not stop. 55191 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Toolman Turn her over and around as in Greek; My hand gives a slap to each cheek. Her eyes roll back; Orgasm on track; That's the ninth one this week! 55192 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Toolman Only nine orgasms in a week? I don't call it all very sleek. Give me the power; I'll have dozens an hour; Lose count before I lose my peak. 55193 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Toocurious The cunt of a cutie in Niles Attracts all the cocksmen for miles. She likes her coition In any position, Except in the rear (she has piles!) 55194 POSITIONS - MOTLEY G1024 At a contest, a lady named Cog Took part in a quiz dialogue. Asked what fashions she knew, She replied she knew two -- One was Paris, the other was dog. 55195 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Albin Chaplin 3024-2086 There was a young lady from Otley, Whose boy friends were varied and motley, Who had had her first And who first, reversed, Were questions debated quite hotly. 55196 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Prof M-G In considering active coition, Good girls scorn to impose a condition. They let it be known They have be to be shown, To adopt any wanted position. 55197 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Isaac Asimov A Rice business major named Fred Said to Jill as she stood on her head, "I'd much rather lie Looking up at the sky Than upend with my face turning red." 55198 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Arthur Deex P0112 On top...imdermeath...half suspended... Karma Sutra and Western all blended... I found she was best When at her behest, I had her, while standing, up-ended. 55199 POSITIONS - MOTLEY John Miller While fucking his girlfriend, Max Jopp, The bus driver, oft calls out "Hop Aboard, if your gay; I go all the way, And there's room for one more there on top." 55200 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Tiddy Ogg The Oggman replied to him, "No, Unless you get rid of that hoe, With a 60 k sign. We'll do 69 Then I'l enter real slow from below." 55201 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Lightbulb A responsive young girl from back East, In bed was an able artiste. She had learned two positions From the family physician, And ten more from an old parish priest. 55202 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Albin Chaplin 3024 G1104 A Hostler who live outside Otley, Had a wife, who welcomed him hotly; They both like a ride, With him first astride, And then is positions all motley. 55203 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Harold C Bibby In the Evening News Journal edition, It said, "Wanted w/several conditions, A female or male Who's hearty and hale And who knows exotic positions." 55204 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Michael Polo P8704 A bashful young girl from Fort San May pretend that she can't, but she can -- In a bed, on the turf, Upside down, soixante-neuf, With any available man. 55205 POSITIONS - MOTLEY Hugh Oliver 82d Well, I once had a job at a store, Where they made me pack groceries (a bore!), Except a girl in deli, Whose nickname was Nelly, Who'd happily go down on all four. 55206 POSITIONS - REARED A heart makes me think of your butt; Of which you know I'm truly a nut. Be my Valentine, While I ride your behind, So please be my Valentine slut? 55207 POSITIONS - REARED M Foster There once was a gal named Lorraine, Who had a most serious pain. Guys from Wendover Asked her to bend over, Bonking her without refrain. 55208 POSITIONS - REARED She thought that she would FORFEND The harassing advance of a "friend," So she turned her back When he jumped in the sack. He said, "Hey, that's cool, now bend." 55209 POSITIONS - REARED J'Carlin Rearward turned, her face doth beckon; Tonight to her I'll go, I reckon. Though one thing bad, It makes me mad, That collie's making me go second! 55210 POSITIONS - REARED Jim Weaver Collection A woman with buttocks so fair, Invitingly raised in the air, Hopes you don't mind To mount from behind, And come on her sweet derriere! 55211 POSITIONS - REARED Little Richard Said Florence, "I do take affront To the way you belittle my cunt, While you and your dong Are positioned all wrong -- Would you please come around to the front?" 55212 POSITIONS - REARED John Miller So ugly a bitch was Miss Hinde That she never with man had entwined. But she showed up one day In family way, For it seems she was fucked from behind. 55213 POSITIONS - REARED Albin Chaplin 3024-0193 Did you hear of a lady named Vicky, Thought to screw like a dog was too tricky. When she did a quick spin, He was no longer in, And it got all over her, icky. 55214 POSITIONS - REARED Chairman Steve The prostitute drops down her drawers, As the lack of new trade she deplores. And to keep her cunt working, Gives her boarder free firking, While her dinner she eats on all fours. 55215 POSITIONS - REARED Albin Chaplin I was told that the birds and the bees Have babies with wonderful ease; But I can't go through it The way that they do it -- Too hard on my elbows and knees. 55216 POSITIONS - REARED Norm Storer P9604 Emboldened by your corporate ambitions, On all fours, you confirm my suspicions. With your buttocks a-gleaming, You give a new meaning To the phrase "entry level positions." 55217 POSITIONS - REARED Jim Weaver Collection She's easily pleased is young Mandy; You just have to offer her candy, Then down on all fours, She'll say, "Take me! I'm yours!" (You should see what she does for a brandy!) 55218 POSITIONS - REARED Said a homely old maid, unrefined, "Let's fuck!" to a man just and kind. He replied, "For this task, You must put on a mask, And I'll give you a fuck from behind." 55219 POSITIONS - REARED Albin Chaplin 3024-0366 A simple young fellow named Spear Had tricks both amusing and queer. He tickled the asses And cunts of the lasses, And stuck in his cock from the rear. 55220 POSITIONS - REARED G1030a While sitting on Southampton pier, I told my young lass Nell, "My dear, It's love we must make!" My hand she did take And asked me "From front or from rear?" 55221 POSITIONS - REARED R Renzel There was a young barmaid called Carol Who worked in such skimpy apparel, Whilst in the wine cellar Some amorous feller Had that lass over a barrel. 55222 POSITIONS - REARED On going to college, Miss Dare By mother was told to beware Of boys in her bed For this she did dread, So Dare fucked the boys in a chair. 55223 POSITIONS - REARED Albin Chaplin 3024-0102 It's time that I tell you the truth My girlfriend's an old snaggle tooth. She moans and she whines When I come in behind, And jam it right in her cabooth! 55224 POSITIONS - REARED When reaming your girl with your pole, Make sure you maintain your control. You'll feel quite the fool With shit on your tool, Unless, of course, that was your goal. 55225 POSITIONS - REARED Anon I once had a girl in Bombay, Who preferred it the Old Fashioned Way, And if given a tool, From behind like a mule, She'd kick and she'd buck and she'd bray. 55226 POSITIONS - REARED Tim Fisher There was a young man from Bengal, Whose girlfriend was really quite tall. He'd look up to suck; She'd kneel down for fuck; It worked out for them, overall. 55227 POSITIONS - REARED Arden A peculiar man is Bill Greer Who goes for a gal from the rear. He said, "If it's odd o' me, At least it ain't sodomy... I just like the action from here!" 55228 POSITIONS - REARED Grand Prix Lim 413 My lima bean smell is endearing, And let's you now when I am nearing, So's you can prepare By stripping down bare, And get ready for one hard end-rearing. 55229 POSITIONS - REARED I've got some wine here for you, dear, In a goblet that's crystal and clear. So start up that cheer And guide my hard spear To your puss, as I push from the rear. 55230 POSITIONS - REARED Some misses look more like misters; Some leave your eyeball with blisters. Though ugly some be, What's important to me, Bunked over they all look like sisters. 55231 POSITIONS - REARED Jim Weaver Collection Said an old Greek sage, "Run from the fear, Of encounters that some may think queer. Those who learn not to spurn, The fine turn of a stern, May just find lots of fun from the rear." 55232 POSITIONS - REARED Bob Giandomenico P0307 When you age, best make love from behind, For at fifty and sixty you'll find, If still able to get 'er, The view will be better, For the fact is: that love is not blind. 55233 POSITIONS - REARED Bob Birch P0900 I took Sandy out on the town; We dined; We danced; We got down. Down on all fours And tallied up scores Of orgasms as they came 'round. 55234 POSITIONS - REARED Mike Desso An insulting old fellow named Jack Was berating his wife for her lack Of a navel and tits, And she caused him the shits -- So she told him to get off her back. 55235 POSITIONS - REARED Albin Chaplin 3024-0216 My gal, Marylou, seems to drool Whenever she sits on my tool. Because I can't rest With her spit on my chest, She must wear a bib, that's my rule! 55236 POSITIONS - REARED That lassie (whose surname was Kelly), Was terribly fond of her jelly. But the boys offered jam And -- since jam means to cram -- She cooed "Yes, please... but not in the belly!" 55237 POSITIONS - REARED All there was for ten bucks and a beer Was a broad who presented her rear. Said the smelly old crone, "I'm really not prone To argue, so stick it in here!" 55238 POSITIONS - REARED John Miller I really don't care what dogs do. I would rather look down at you And see what I find, Than have you behind, Where I can't enjoy the great view. 55239 POSITIONS - REARED There was a sore babe in McAllister, Claimed Willy's big puncher had calloused her. It occurred when that gent Took her from the rear, bent Over forward, across an oak ballister. 55240 POSITIONS - REARED Grand Prix Lim 735 You really can't blame our Miss Ealing For moaning and groaning and squealing. She sat down on Bill's frame, And his wad, when he came, Blew both dame, wad and blast to the ceiling. 55241 POSITIONS - REARED G0578 There was a young girl from Dundee, Who liked picnics right by the sea. Her boyfriend said, "Right -- Enough of this shite!" And took her from behind on one knee. 55242 POSITIONS - REARED Derek Scott Thanks to sex, a young woman named Carol Looked delightful in model's apparel. The slimming effect Was best, I suspect, When her man had her over a barrel. 55243 POSITIONS - REARED Isaac Asimov Bend over the dining-room table And spread 'em as far as you're able. You'll find that my conger Is longer and stronger, And thicker than nautical cable. 55244 POSITIONS - REARED A playful young fellow was Gump Who cherished his lady friend's rump. "Let's play leapfrog," he said, So she lowered her head, But he never completed the jump. 55245 POSITIONS - REARED Albin Chaplin 3024-2097 "I'm so lonely," the homely lass whined; She had kinky thoughts on her mind. But in Ft. Laramie Colonel John Jeremy, Put his privates inside her behind. 55246 POSITIONS - REARED Lims For Year - 01 Said a naked young soldier named Mickey, As his cunt eyed his stiff, throbbing dickey, "Kid, my leave's almost up, But I feel like a tup; Bend down, and I'll slip you a quickie." 55247 POSITIONS - REARED L1037 Some night when you're drunk on Dutch Bols, Try changing the usual roles. The backward position Is nice for coition, And it offers the choice of two holes. 55248 POSITIONS - REARED L0454 They say that the natives of Wheeling Prefer to go at it while kneeling. It does give a crick In the shank of the prick, But oh! what a glorious feeling! 55249 POSITIONS - REARED G0814 There was a young lady whose mind Was never completely refined. She got on her knees, Her lover to please, Who stuck in his prick from behind. 55250 POSITIONS - REARED L0491 There was a young woman named Sally, Who loved an occasional dally. She sat on the lap Of a well-endowed chap, And said, "Ooo, you're right up my alley." 55251 POSITIONS - REARED Isaac Asimov A cowgirl who calls the guys "Pardner" Can fix limber pricks: she's a hardener. But she got a rude shock When she sat on the cock Of that Bunyanesque fellow named Gardner. 55252 POSITIONS - REARED G2450 Young Mary once gave me the nod To fetch her my sizable rod. She went out of her mind When I took her behind, And she swore the next day, she found God! 55253 POSITIONS - REARED Frank SFA "Let's try it this new way," said Jack As he winked at the girl in the sack. She turned and she grunted, "I should be affronted, But this time I'm taken aback!" 55254 POSITIONS - REARED H Myers T9801 If a four-legged love-puppy fits Your fetish, Miz Rue never quits; Sniff 'n lick her behind, She will squirm and she'll grind, And then treat you with hominy grits! 55255 POSITIONS - REARED Said a modern teenager named Treat, "Our game 'Feed the lion' is neat. She takes off her drawers And gets down on all fours; She growls and I throw her the meat!" 55256 POSITIONS - REARED Martin B. Smith P8309 Here's Ericka down on all fours The sweat is profuse from her pores. And there's Tiddy Ogg; He's priming his Log For viciously ramming her doors. 55257 POSITIONS - REARED Anon Hey 'Ricka, you wanna be my bitch? Then shed all your clothes, every stitch. Then I'll cock my leg Over yours, and my peg Will soon be there, humping your ditch. 55258 POSITIONS - REARED Anon When in Minnesota, Miss Gold Wore long johns to ward off the cold; But they had a rear door, Which she freauently wore Unbuttoned for friends, I am told. 55259 POSITIONS - REARED Al Kracht P9902 Your skin is all slack in the front? Don't worry; it won't bear the brunt Of any attack, If you turn your back By using that ju-jitsu stunt. 55260 POSITIONS - REARED I told my old sex partner Fritz, I wanted to call our thing quits; He watches TV While pumping on me -- To tell you the truth, it's the pits. 55261 POSITIONS - REARED Armand E Singer 912 A woman who lived near Cape Fear Would always most carefully steer Past men whom she saw, But was brought to the floor, By a well-timed attack from the rear. 55262 POSITIONS - REARED Isaac Asimov My new sweetie is named Marybeth; And I swear, I just love her to death; While we hump without guile, I prefer doggie style, 'Cause my love-heart has got rotten breath! 55263 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Allen Wolverton One question I'll ask, if you please, So Allen reply without tease: From our metal view, Just what did you do To get that corpse up on her knees? 55264 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Travis Brasell We met up in old Hermit's cave; She's undead, but I traded old Dave A piglet that farted. I soon got her started; A Heimlich will make this doll rave! 55265 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Allen Wolverton "It's clear," said Big Sis with a grunt, "You really know shit about cunt. Your attack from the back's Just scratching my crack, While missing the good stuff up front." 55266 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES John Miller I hope you'll not mind if I'm blunt, But since it's her asshole you punt Your attack from the back Is just scratching her crack, So give her a poke up the cunt. 55267 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES If advice I were fain to dispense, 'Twere better 'twas making some sense. Instead of the focus On her crack or her tokus, It should mention her clitty laments. 55268 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Allen Wolverton Boys, a girl on all fours is a treat; That there doggie style sure can't be beat. You can park on her rear A cold six pack of beer, When your good old gal comes into heat. 55269 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Allen Wolverton If your fetish's a gal on all fours, You should try humping one out of doors. In the cold and the heat, This type just can't be beat, On the bed or the grass of the moors. 55270 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Richard I'll give you what for from the back As my slick dick slides in your crack My hands on your nips A-rubbing the tips As a choad-load explodes from my sac! 55271 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Archie Well ladies, this first ride is mine, So please stand back there in the line. With that pogo inside, It's a hell of a ride, And the ride only cost me a dime! 55272 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES How untrue my sweet little pet I've never charged anything yet For you to ride on Hop on or slide on My pogo stick, sticky and wet 55273 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES As a lover of sex from behind, The state of your face I won't mind. Would you like to have sperm Rubbed into your perm? Can I come to your house for a grind? 55274 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Jack Nothing gets rubbed in my perm, 'Specially not out of your worm. How do you doodle With that little noodle? I've heard that it's not very firm. 55275 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Marlene Past conquests were heard to scream, "Jack!" When I mounted a rear-end attack. "Don't get your goo Near my new hair-do... Do you know that you're up the wrong crack?..." 55276 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Jack So I'd wriggle an inch down their furrow, Till in the right hole I would burrow. And ride them some more Until they were sore. I may not be huge, but I thorough. 55277 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Jack Oh dear, did I reject the wrong Jack? You're on the other side of the track? Even so I request A more civil behest Than "C'mon baby, jump in the sack!" 55278 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Marilyn You cannot come here for a grind. What's required is much more refined. A 'canoodle' or 'pet' Is more likely to get You into myself from behind. 55279 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Marilyn Losing all sense of control, On the bed we tumble and roll. Pleasuring each other, Trying to smother, The fire on this hot bed of coals. 55280 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES You've smothered me with sweet kisses And answered all of my wishes. My flame for you grows And so does my hose, At the thought of that pussy, delicious. 55281 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Then put me on my two knees. (Don't make me beg and say please.) A little doggie style, Sure makes me smile, I see that grin, you agree. 55282 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES When you get in that position Reminds me of sweet superstition; That taboo that you Now ask me to do, I gladly will, with your permission. 55283 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES But when I insert from behind To give you a doggie-type grind, It's still the same hole That gets my long pole; No anal sex is on my mind. 55284 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES I don't mind getting down on all fours, As long as it's not on the floor. The rug's my concern; It causes those burns, And my knees will get red and sore. 55285 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES A secret I've learned from the past, That keeps rug burns from happening fast. Are on sale for sure At any sports store; They all sell fine knee pads that last! 55286 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Or maybe a tumbling pad Could keep burns from getting bad. We could do gymnastics Or fuck til we're spastic; The best sex may yet to be had! 55287 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES But I think to stop those turning red, We'll try something simple instead, When down on all fours. So you won't get those sores, We'll just have to screw in the bed 55288 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES My first girl was a terrible grouch, Which all of my friends will sure vouch. She was cleaning the oven, So I tried some lovin', Then got banished to my lumpy old couch. 55289 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Atticus Once Helga was muckin' the stalls, So I on my hands and knees crawls And peeked up her dress. Then Oh! What a mess It made when that bitch smacked my balls. 55290 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Travis Brasell Well, hard luck old son, and best wishes. But scullery love is delicious, When you start to flirt, And hoist up her skirt, And boff while she's washing the dishes. 55291 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Tiddy Ogg I walked up behind my sweet lass, Just as she was washing a glass. When I grabbed her caboose, Bloody Hell did break loose, Like shoving worms up a wildcat's ass. 55292 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Atticus "The ceiling needs painting," she said, While lying face up on the bed; So changing position To finish coition, He turned her face downwards instead. 55293 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Peter Wilkins Face down on the bed she then sings, "This doggie-style screwing sure stings!" Asked he, "Dick too big?" Screamed she, "No you pig! The mattress doesn't cover the springs!" 55294 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Travis Brasell What's normal is not always clear. Weird sex was something to fear. Now I'm no mathematician, But here's my suspicion: It's directly proportional to beer. 55295 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Kristen It has little to do with the beer, For everything's normal in here. Whoever, however, Whenever, whatever, We do it from front and from rear. 55296 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Peter Wilkins "The mission position I'm quitting," Said she, "and from now on I'm sitting; It feels just as fine If you are supine -- And it won't interfere with my knitting." 55297 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Ed Potts P8606 "The position I don't mind at all," He replied, "but it really does gall, When you ask me, your swain, To 'please hold the skein.' While you wind up the yarn on the ball." 55298 POSITIONS - REARED - SERIES Ed Potts P8606 I once met a lassie named Ruth In a long distance telephone booth. Now I know the perfection Of an ideal connection, Even if somewhat uncouth. 55299 POSITIONS - STANDING Jim Weaver Collection As a youngster I'd empty my balls In girls standing upright in halls. Now the ladies instead Want to have it in bed, So I've little to hold against walls. 55300 POSITIONS - STANDING There was a young girl named LaRue, Who thought it great fun just to screw. She was never particular And performed perpendicular-- An art known to only a few. 55301 POSITIONS - STANDING G0634 A girl said to her man named List, A chance should not ever be missed. He stopped at the landing And had her while standing. She declared is resembled the twist. 55302 POSITIONS - STANDING Albin Chaplin A Rice business major named Lee Said to Ned as she leaned 'gainst a tree, "I'd be much more at home If my stance were more prone, Than this ungainly role of standee." 55303 POSITIONS - STANDING Arthur Deex P0112 There was a young woman called Nicolla Who said, "I prefer perpendicolla; But If what you want'll Be best horizontal, I'm really not all that particolla." 55304 POSITIONS - STANDING Jim Weaver Collection I can quite categorically state That the towel bars in washrooms are great. They're padded just right, And they're just the right height To grab onto while boffing your date. 55305 POSITIONS - STANDING That lass of mine's nicely hipped And myself, I may say, good equiped. But each time we do it standing I make a hard landing; Is it on the wet floor that I slipped? 55306 POSITIONS - STANDING A short-peckered man of Beirut, To get a good fuck was hard put. So he tried to screw standing But he found it demanding, And he splattered his load on his foot. 55307 POSITIONS - STANDING Albin Chaplin Perhaps I have mentioned Miss Wade? A most reprehensible jade. It's stuck in her head She'll get knocked up in bed, So demands to stand up to be laid. 55308 POSITIONS - STANDING Grand Prix Lim 32 G0254 There was a young midget named Madder Whose girl was as tall as a ladder. When he stood on his toes Her cunt came to his nose, So he stood on his shoulders and had her. 55309 POSITIONS - STANDING Albin Chaplin 3024-0728 I remember the days of my youth When influenced by gin and vermouth. Very much thinner, I was a sinner, Making love in a telephone booth. 55310 POSITIONS - STANDING Tom Patton P9607