The Legend of Chernobyl Sam
(llewtraH)
 This is the sad legend of Chernobyl Sam,
 Who lived by a nuclear power facility,
 And, when the tale began, was an ordinary man,
 With ordinary abilities.
One dick and two balls, no more and no less,
 That was what Sam had fitted.
And with that tackle, he felt blessed,
 For his chums were likewise knitted.
That was before Chernobyl went bang,
 And leaked that radiation.
 Life, it changed for Chernobyl Sam,
Due to nuclear mutation.
He was out on his farm in a turnip field,
Vigorously wielding his hoe,
 When, all of a sudden, he'd doubled his yield,
 Because he felt something grow.
 And there in his pants, to his surprise,
 Was not one dick, but two.
 Well Sam couldn't believe his own eyes;
It looked to good to be true.
 "It may be Chernobyl got me in this fix,"
Said Sam with nary a frown.
He thought of the fun he could have with two dicks,
And he drove straight over to town.
 There he met Charlotte, the local harlot,
Chernobyl's three-titted town whore.
 Eyes wide with surpise, the girl went scarlet,
 When he showed her his new double bore.
 "You've got quite a couple, so I must charge double,
 If you do it with both," she cried.
Sam gave her his roubles, he didn't want trouble,
Dropped his pants and yelled "Open wide!"
 Well, it may be a sin, but just one went in,
 There wasn't room for the pair.
Those dicks were too thick, they should've been thin,
So he stuck the second else where.
He thrust them in turn, until the friction burned,
 And Charlotte then cried, "No more!"
 One in the churn and one in the stern
Was too much for the doughty whore.
 If you do double entry, you have to go gently,
 As all good accountants know.
So when she got dented around bothe entries,
 She chucked him back out in the snow.
 Now Chernobly Sam felt to be twice a man,
As he checked out his two cocks with glee.
 But his prideful glance down the front of his pants,
 Showed him not two balls, but three!
Those knackers hung low, they swung to and fro;
He could swing them up over his shoulder.
Tie them in a knot, tie them in a bow,
 It made him feel much bolder.
 There was no concealing the joy he was feeling,
As they reached to the floor when at rest.
 He had a horny feeling when they hit the ceiling;
With two cocks and three balls, he was blest!
 With a smile, not a frown, he went back into town,
 With his balls tucked into one boot.
 Another tart found, and threw her to the ground,
 Took aim and prepared to shoot.
 She whore took it all, including triple balls,
 She wasn't deterred by the girth.
Like a demon fueled by his great double tool,
Sam fucked for all he was worth.
He sighed in bliss as he came with a hiss,
 And his balls hung down to his toes.
 His old single dick was not at all missed,
 As he shot her a double load.
 He sighed in pleasure as he gave her full measure,
 And a double stream of juice.
But after those endeavors, he tripped on his treasure,
 Those balls hanging low and loose.
For if you please, they were wrapped 'round his knees,
 Then 'round both ankles wound.
 And when he tried to get his testicles free,
 He fell pole-axed to the ground.
Around both his ankles were his balls entangled,
 And he could not pry them free.
Or else he'd mangle those bollocks which dangled,
And maaaybe loose all three.
It's sad to tell how he tripped and fell,
And shuffled out the door.
 Or how Sam fell as his balls start to swell,
 In fron of the laughing whore.
Chernobyl Sam swore at his great double bore,
And the balls on which he had tripped.
 They stretched, then tore in a great gout of gore,
 As the skin of his ball-bag ripped.
 With no more fuel to power the tool,
 In dismay Chernobyl Sam wept.
Leaving all three balls in a great bloody pool,
Back to his fields he crept.
Two balls and a dick, will sure do the trick;
You don't need anything more.
And thin or thick, be nice to your prick,
And to balls that don't drag on the floor.
But now if your jealous, just what is the use
Of owning a double-bore gun.
 MIghty fine it may look, but what is the use
 If you got no ammunition.