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Once 1 wms5 a b&naald in a aountain inn^
l?Twas th#re I learned the wage® of »lsery and eln0
Along ®smm a skier fresh from off the slopes^
Be* a the one who ruined ate and shattered all »y hopes *
CHORUSs
Singings "Ninety pouads of rucksack^
A pound of grub or two*1*
fie6U schuss the mountains
Like his daddy used to do..
He asked me for a candle to light his way to bed*
He asked me for a kerchief to cover up his head,
And I being a foolish maid and thinking nothing wrong,
Jumped into the skier* s bed to keep the skier war»«
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CHORUS
Now^ early in the morning before the break of dayf
He handed me a fire-pound note, and with it he did say*,
"Take this* my darling* for the damage I have done***
Xou may have a daughter,, you may have a son*
Now^ if you have a daughter, bounce *er on your knee««*
And if you have a son^ send the bastard out to ski.-**
CHORDS
The moral of thin story as you can plainly see#
Is never trust a skier an inch above your knee^
I trusted one and now look at me****
I1we got a bastard in the Mountain Infantry^
CHORDS
2*
i*RE TEE GANG FROM
(Melody t Georgia Tech Song)
Oh* we9re the gang from
We* re not so vety neat
We seldom wash our hands,
And we never wash our feet)
We?re nuts about the women^
And we^re crasy about the boose*
Gh$ We9 re the gang from.
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Now^ who in the hell are youse?
0hf we're the gang fro®,
And we9re on our way to skif
We donft mind if you donft know how?
Cause neither the hell do wet
For we1 re nute about the women
And we1 re crasy about the **oose
Oh* wefre the gang frorn^
now, WHO IH THE HELL ARE IOUSE?
I want a be*rf Just like the be#r
That pickled dear old dad*
It was a be#r and the only beer
that dad# ever hado *,
Good ol fashioned bear with lota of foamf
It took ten men to cany daddy home
Oh! X want a beer* just like the bear
That piakiad &m*r old dado
I 11 he up to aee you on a ski elopef honey ^
Better be ready by half-past eight*
How^ babyf don't be late** <
We' re gonna skif and be* tn Paradise? honey9
And we911 wax our ski is on the night before^
And make the® slick like a ballroom floor,
Wevll schuss down the mountain thereto
Tomorrow morn on the top of old,„;........
(We don-t mean Shasta!)
Tomorrow morn on the top of old,.......,„„,„, n,,,,,............
(We111 break our necks e«»i)
5* BICICLE BUILT FOR TWO
(Boyss) Daisy ^ Daisy^ give me your answer tru£0*c
I1 in half crasy, all for the love of you,>
It won't be a stylish marriage^
I oan't afford a carriage*,
But you' 11 look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two*.
(Girls*) Danny$ Dannyp here is ay answer true
Put not crazy over the likes of you
It must be a stylish carriage!
Call off the blasted marriage*
For I'll be damned if I811 be crammed
On a blcjycle built for two!
We9 re coming! We1 re comingt Our brave little bandf
On the right side of temperance we now take our stand c
We don*t chew tobacco - because we do think
That people who do so are likely to drink*
We never eat fruitcake; it*s chuck full of ru%
And the least little bit puts a man on the bum,
Have you ever seen a more horrible sigjit
Than a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight?
Have you ever seen a more public disgrace
Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face?
Away I Away I with Rum 9 by gum!
With Rumf by gum! With rum, by gusu*
Away I Awayi with Rum, by gumt
Is the Song of the Salvation Army*
7- THE DBimiSG GOKO
Calif oral ml California! The hills resound the ery*ee
We1 re out to do or dial
Califomial California! We111 win the game
Or know the reaiton why*
And wben the ga&§ Is oirer* we 11 buy a keg of booaet
And drink to California Hill we wobble in oar shoes***
So drink - tra la la*
Drink -
Drank •
Drunk last nighty
Drunk the night before^
Is m gonna get drunk tonight like Pve never been drunk before
For when I1© drunk, Ifm happy as can be
For I'm a saeaber of the Souse Family *
Ohl The Souee Fa»Uy ia the beat family
That eTer casse over froa old Germs? *
There3© the Highland Dutch9
Trie Lowland Dutch *
The Rotterdam Dutch ^
And the Geddasan Dutch****
Singings ^Gloriouet GloriousI
One keg of beer for the four of us!
Glory he to God that there are no sore of us,
For one of us could drink it all alone
(Bayg&n near)
The Irish eat potatoes 9 and the French eat peas*
But the Goddamn Dutch eat Llmburger cheese *«*
Singing Glorious! Glorious I
One keg of beer for the four of us!
Glory be to God that there are no ©ore of u%
For one of us could drink it all aloneo
(Damn near)
What* a that I smell on the evening breeze?
Xt*s the Goddamn Dutch eating Limburger cheese*•«
Singing Glorious! Victorious!
One keg of beer for the four of us!
Glory be to God that there are no more of ua,
For one of us could drink it all alone*
(Damn near)
Eere?s to the Irish — Dead drunk!
(The lucky stiffs!)
In her hair she wore a yellow ribbon
She wore it in the Springtime, in the merry month of May^
Heyl Heyl
And if you asked her why the hell she wore itf
She wore it for a soldier who is far, far away*
CHORUSs
far away* (Par away)
Far away® (Far away)
She wore it for a soldier who is far far away*
Around her leg she wore a purple garter,
She wore it in the Springtime, in the merry month of May,
Heyl Hey!
And if you aaked her why the hell she wore it*
She wore it for a soldier who is far* far away
CHORUS:
Around the block she pushed a baby carriage^
She pushed it in the Springtime* in the merry month of May,
Heyl Heyl
And if you asked her why the hell she pushed it,
She pushed it for a soldier who is far, far away*
CHORUSs
Behind the door her father kept a shotgun,
He kept it in the Springtime, in the merry month of Kay,
Heyl Heyl
And if you asked him why the hell he kept itf
He kept it for a soldier who is far, far awayo
CHORUSi
And on his desk the sheriff kept a warrant,
He kept it in the Springtime, in the merry month of May,
Heyl Hegrl
And if you asked him why the hell he kept It,
He kept it for a soldier who is far, far awayo
CHORUSs
And in his desk he kept a silver bullet,
He kept it in the Springtime, in the merry month of Bay^
Heyl Heyl
And if you asked him why the hell he kept it,
He kept it for a soldier who is far, far away*
CHORUS i
Around the grave she spread some yellow flowers,
She spread them in the Springtime, in the merry month of May^
Heyl Heyl
And if you asked her why the hall she spread them,
She spread them for a soldier who is six feet away*
CHORUSi
9* ^&klSMfCTM£Jl^
1 wiuh all the girls were like f iah in the ocean
And I were a waves 1 would set the® in motion*
CHORUS* (After each succeeding verse)
Oh! Roll your leg over, Oh I Roll your leg over*
Roll your leg over the man in the moon*
I wish all the girls were like cows in the pasture*
And I were a bull; I would make them run faster.
I wish all the girls were like sheep in the clover,
And I were a ra»; I would ram then all ever*
I wish all the girls were like little white rabbits,
And I were a buck; I would teach them bad habits *
I wish all the girls were like mares in the stable*
And I were a stallion; both willing and able*
1 wish all the girls were like little red chickens,
And I were a rooster;'I'd give them the dickens»
I wish all the girls were like little shite vixens,
And I were a fox; I would certainly fix fesu
I wish all the girls were like does in the glade,
And I were a buck; I would sure have it made©
I wish all the girls were like sows in the mire,
And I were a boar; I would certainly tire*
I wish all the girls were like Hedy LaHarr,
And I were like Gable; Ifd get pretty far*
I wish all the girls were like Gypsy Rose Lee,
And I were a G^strlng; hot dawg, what Ifd seet
10- MX GOD^ BOW THE MONEI ROLLS IH
Mjy mother sells snow to the snow birds,
My father makes synthetic gin,
My sister makes love for a dollar^
My God! How the money rolls in!
Rolls in, rolls i%
My Gcdl How the money rolls in, rolls inl
Rolls in, rolls in,
My God, how the money rolls inl
My brother's a poor missionary^
He saves little girls from sin^
Re911 save you a blonde for two dollars,
My God?> How the money rolls inl
Roils in, rolls in,
% Godl How the money rolls in*
llo HOGGED DOT RIGHT
Hey Boyl I just called up to tell you that Vm rugged but right*
A theitrin1 gamblin1 woman, and I'm drunk every nighty
I*ve got a porterhouse steak three times a day for ay boards
That1s more than any self-respeetin* gal can afford*
X*ve got a big eleetric fan to keep me oool in the heat*
A big handsome man to keep m warm while I sleep,
Ifm just a gamblin* noaanf a ramblinf woman^ and boyl am I tight!
I just called up to tell you that Vm rugged but right'»
Ohl We may be browia-aklnned lassies, but really we don't care^
We1 re got those well-built chaseies, wit& the *do or die11 air,
W**ve got the hips that sank the ships of England* France and Peru,
And if you1 re like Napoleon, boyl here1 s your Waterloo I
V& like a fifteen-alnuie intermission in your V~8,
Fd like to make it later* but I never date late,
Our motto has always beans "Gone with the Wind,*
So letsf breeze it tonight*
I just sailed up to tell you that Vm rugged but right!
I had a lovin1 man who left me flat as a floor*
I gave him all mj loves who could ask for anything more?
I gave him ajy last quarter for to buy him a drink,
He took me to the door and, honey, what do you think?
He said ^Go home to your aother, honey, tell her for me?
Vm hittin* the road because I want to be free^
For you*re a gamblin3 woman, m ramblin* woman? and right now yer tight,
Go home and tell your mother that you're rugged but right*n
I went to . to get me a tan,
Who*d ever"tfaink that Ifd end up with a man?
Schussing the Canyon twice a day is quite bad^
But swinging down the "Mile* makes my heart pretty glad,
I got to the bottom lookin1 for a stiff drink,
I walked Into my room, and honey, what do you think?
There was a man in my bunk? so I just turned out the light,
I just called up to tell you that Vm rugged but right*
(Don9t overdo It -«* 1 overdid it last nightl)
12. UNDER TOE BAMBOO TREE
I111 build a bungalow, - big enough for two,
Big enough for two, my honey, big enough for two*
And when we* re married* happy we* 12 be^
Under the bamboo ~- underneath the bamboo tree!
If you111 be K-I-H-E, mine*
I'll be T-fi~I-N-E, thine^
And 1*11 L-O-V-E, love you,
All tiie T-L4S-E, time*
lou'U be the B-E-S-T, best, ^
Of all the H-E-S-T, rest,
And FH L~0~V-E, love you*
With a Z-E-S-T, seat!
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I want to go back - to ihare I come from*
Where the honeysuckle smell so sweet
It durn near makes you sick*
I used to think - my Ufa was humdma^
But I sure have learned a lesson that is bound to stick
There aln*t no use in »y pre tend i,V
The city sure ain't no place for a guy like s* to end in
Coin* back • to where I come from
Where the mocking bird is singing in the lilac bush*
I used to go down to the station,
Every evening just to watch that Pullman train come rolling in*
And then one night* that great temptation
Got the best of me and drove me to a life of sin*
I took *y hat - and fourteen dollars,
And I went to all the trouble of the life that alius foilers
When yeu^re rich - and seeking romance,
But I sure have learned a lesson* I can tell you that.
I met a man - in Kansas City;>
And he winked at me and asked me how I9d like to step around ,
And I said, *Sep! That*s what Pm here fer,n
So he said hefd show me to the hottest sppts in town*
He mentioned things - he*d have to fix up,
So he took my fourteen dollars, but there must have been a mixup,
He1 a been gone * since Thursday evening^
And I've got a bunch I'll never see that guy no ©ore,,
When I grow old - and have a grandson,
I will tell him *bout my romance and just watch his eyes bug out
The chances are • he won9t believe me,
And when he grown up he^U do the same damn thing • no doubt*
But he ean't say - I dldnH warn him
What will happen i&en he meets that city guy,'doggonl
Ifm goin1 back - to where I come from,
Where the moekin* bird is singin1 in the lilac bush*
M. PATTX MORPHX
8Twas the night that Patty Murphy died,
I never shall forgeto
For all the boys got stinking drunk,
And soma aln9t sober yet*
But the only thing they did that night
That filled ay heart with fear^
They took the iee right off the corpse
And put it in the beer*
That99 how th^y paid their respects to
That* s how they showed their honor and
That*8 how they paid their respects to
On the night that Fatty died*
Patty Murphy.,
their pridej
Patty Murphy,
Three jolly coachmen sat, in an English tavern,
Three jolly coachmen sat, in an English tavern,
They they decided that, they they decided that,
Thsy they decided that theyM have another flagon<>
For he utoo drinks strong ale, and goes to bed quite mellow?
For he who drinks strong ale, and goes to bed quite mellow,
Lives as he ought to live, lives as he ought to live,
Lives as he ought to live, and dies a jolly fellow.
While he who drinks but water pore, and goes to bed quite sober,
While he who drinks but water pure, and goes to bed quite sober,
Fades as the lily fades, fades as the lily fades,
Fades as the lily fades, and dies before Octobero
Oh, she who doth get kissed, and runs to tell her mother,
Oh, she who doth get kissed, and runs to tell her mother,
Does such a foolish thing, does such a foolish thing,
Does such a foolish thing, and don't deserve another*
While she who doth get kissed, and comes back for another,
While she who doth get kissed, and comes back for another,
Is a boon to all mankind, is a boon to all mankind,
Is a boon to all mankind, but may become a mothero
Oh, Landlord, fill the flowing bowl until it doth run over,
Oh, Landlord, fill the flowing bowl until it doth run over,
Tonight we shall merry, merry be? tonight we shall merry, merry be,
Tonight we shall merry, merry be, and start the whole thing over*
16. SYSTEMS AND THEORIES OF SKIING
There are systems and theories of skiing
But one thing I surely have found|
While skiing1s confined to the wintertime,
The drinking1 s good all the year 'round,
Walla walla walla.....*.....•«.*
Here's to the trail to the mountain top
And here1s to the skier who dares!
But give me my glass and bottle
To drive away all of my cares.
There's the snowplow, the stem turn, the Christie,
The Jump turn, the telemark and such}
But I leave all of these to the kanonen
1Cause I like my drinking so much* 9s
Now the skier must dodge all the trees he sees ^v
And the rocks that lie hidden in the trail, /^
But the thing I fear most are the heebee-j eebees ' ^
And the Snow-snske1 s loud hideous wailt yf ^\ V ,
Here's to trail, etc* J^M^^JL
s
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1?» JHBBPf*3H KHE TAXBQEF
^Undeme&th the takeoff every Sunday norn,
*? *A jolly bunch of skiers come to jump and show their forme
Ohl file big and small, the small and big,
^ They all com® dressed in a skier9 s rig*
They jump until they're blue, and then nhen they are thru,
The President pulls a stringy and they drop their skis and sirjg?
Jaf ja, vi skall ha— lutefisk og lefsa, lutefisk og lefsa,
<Ja^ ja, vi skall ha —> lutefisk og lefsa, brenneven og smis*
And when the Jumping1 a over and the day ic done* they hurry from the
mountain top to have a little fun*
Ohl the small and big, the big and small,
They congregate at a Svenska Hall*
They drink a foaming brew, take on a rosy hue,
The President pulls a string, and they blow their foam and sings
Ja, ja* vi skall ha-— lutefisk og lefsa9 lutefisk og lefsa, ^fy A'i
Ja, ja, vi skall ha — lutefisk og lefsa, brenneven og snus* $f y( I
^Lsr ^fjj |y
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18. OOLA ^^-j~y<
Aye'm Oola, ski yumper from Horvay, brought up on lutefisk and sill, ' ^
Aye come to New lork for to find me &ome vork, and Aye
tank Aye go vest right avay*
Aye yump on a train for Fort Lewis, to fight for the U«S«A«,
Aye yoined up the Mountain battalion, and dere Aye tank Aye vill stay*
CKORUSj
Ayefm Oola, dey all call me Oola,
Aye don* 'know how dey get ahold of mj mvie$
Aye neffer told any de® fellers,
But dey all call me Oola yust da same*
Bach &a& and each night at Fort Lewis, lee l?hisl how it would rain?
And if it would keep up dis vedder, Aye neffer go skiing again*
At last Aye, *go up to da mountain, it bane Yon doggon place you should ee«,
Da minute Aye got dere Aye1© happy, Aye run out and yump on my ski,,
CHORUS:
And den Aye climb up Panorama, and point my skis down from da top,
lee Goodneasi but how Aye get moving, Aye tank dat Aye neffer would stop*
Aye vonder wj heart is still beating^ as off of a cornice Aye sehusa?
aye bail out at Edith Creek Basin, and landed kerplunk on my- pusft*
chorus*
Each Saturday night on da mountain* Aye go to da Paradise Inn,
Aye tank that Aye'm baek home in Norvay, itfs da best doggon place Aye baf
been,
Da vimain are very entrancing, vat Aye have in my mind is a sin*,
But da minute Aye start romancln*, da G*D«, he alvays valk in!
CHORUSi
A
». mi
Oola had a cousin from the wild and wooly West^
While Oola liked his skiing, Sven liked snowshoeing the best*
They got into the Mountain troops to put it to a test^
And everywhere they went they gave their warwhoopl
CHORUS:
Ohl give me skis and some (pause) poles and klieter,
And let me ski way up on (pause) Alta Vista,
lou can take your snowshoes and (pause) born 'em sister,
And everywhere I go I'll give ay warwhoop*
Everyone was keen to see how it would all come out,
The Winter Warfare Board was standing anxiously about,
And even Axis agent had been sent up there to scout,
And everyone was waiting for a warwhoop.
QiORBSi
The Colonel pulled the trigger and that started out the race,
Sven got an early start and set a most terrific pace,
But Oola shipped right by him, with a sneer upon his face,
And ^feen he reached the top he gave his warwhoop.
CHORUS*
Ten seconds later Oola finished in a mighty schuss,
Passing on his way poor Sven a-lying on his puns,
The moral of this story is that jsnowahoes have no use,
And poor old Sven no longer gives his warwhoop,,
CHORUS.
In the Eighty-seventh, ther's a Weapons Company,
They spend six weeks at Paradise end never learned to ski,
The reason for this tragedy as you can plainly see,
Is that everywhere they went they wore their snowsboes*
CHORUS,'
20. IILIQM^
The year may have more than one season,
But I can remember but one,
When the rivers and lakes they ere freezin1
And the mountains with whiteness are spun.
The snowflakes are felling so fast,
And winter has come new at last.
Two boards upon cold powder snow, 10 HOi
What more does a man need to know?
Two boards upon cold powder snow, 10 HOI
That's all that a man needs to know.
The hiss of your skis is a passion,
Tou cannot imagine a spill
When, Bangt ~ there's a Godawful gash in
The smooth shining track on the hill.
Whatss happened you can't understand,
There's two splintered boards in your hand*
Two boards upon cold powder snow, 10 HOI etc.*.
I care not for Government taxes,
Take everything else that I own,
But leave me some boards and some waxes
Put me in the mountains alone.
The snowfiakes are falling so fast,
And winter has come now at last*
Two boards upon cold powder snow, 10 HOI etc.*..
21* IN THE CELLAR OF_______
(Melodys The Caissons Go Rolling Along)
Give a cheer, give a cheer,
For the boys who drink the beer
In the cellar of
They are strong, they are bold,
And the liquor they can hold
Is a story that* s never been told.
So it's guzzle, guzzle, guzzle,
As it trickles down your muzzle,
Drink, boys, we'll never go dry I
We will hoist one more
While they1re busting down the door
To the cellar of :
Roll it out, roll it out,
As the seventh keg goes out,
In the cellar of wmmmmmmKmmm^^
Turn the tap, turn the tap,
Or remove the bottle cap
In the cellar of, iiil.............„............... _.......„...^_,^w^
So it's guzzle, guzzle, guzzle.•.•etc*
22. §gM^OIj)JUg'ffiS (Kelcxty* Johnny eo l^ng at tec Fair)
Oh, dear I What can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavatory,
They were there fro© Monday till Saturday,
And nobody knew th^y were there,
The first old lady was Adelaide Porter,
She was the Bishop of Chichester1s daughter,
She went there to out superfluous water,
And nobody knew she was there*
CHORUS: Oh, Dear! etc*
The next old lady was Brenda Frasier,
She had been drinking beer after beer
She went there to fix a broken brassiere,
And nobody knew she was there»
CHORUS,
The third old lady was Genevieve Humphrey,
When she got there she could not get her bump free,
But then she decided 'twas really quite comity,
And nobody knew she was there*
CHORUS.
The fourth old lady was Katherine Foyle
She had been living according to Hoyle
She was worried but the swelling was only a boil,
And nobody knew she was there,
CHORUS.
The fifth old lady was Susan Van Duzen,
She could not get the man of her choosin1
She went there and found the art work amusin1,
And nobody knew she was there.
CHORUS.
The sixth old lady was Antoinette Boomer,
She went there to see what was wrong with her bloomer,
And when she found out she wished shefd come sooner,
And nobody knew she was there,
CHORUS,
The seventh old lady was fLizabeth Bender,
She went there to fix a broken suspender,
The button flipped into her feminine gender, ^
And nobody knew it was there«
CHORUS.
The janitor came round on Saturday morning,
And opened the door without any warning,
The seven old ladies came out a^swarming,
And nobody knew they \sere there*
iHfll
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Wf
23 • OI^JI^COll
Old King Cole was a merry old soul* a merry old soul was he.
He called for his skies and he called for his poles
And he called for his PRIVATES three*
BEER! BEER! BEER! aald the privates,
Merry, merry men are we*
There98 none so fair as can compare
With the Mountain Infantry.
Old King Cole was a merry old soul* a marry old soul was he,
He called for his aklea and be called for his poles,
And he called for his CORPORALS three*
HUT, WO, HOT* TWO, HUT! aaid the corporals,
BeerI Beeri Beer! said the privates,
Merry, merry men are we
There9s none ao fair as can compare
With the Mountain Infantry,
Old King Cole, etc*
And he called for his SERGEANTS three,
RIGHT BI SQUADS, SQUADS RIGHT! said the sergeants
Hut two, Hut two, HutI said the corporals
Beert Beeri Beer! said the privates,
Merry merry men are we, etc*
And he called for his SHAVETAILS three
le do all the work! said the shavetails,
Right by squads, Squads right! etc*«c
And he called for his CAPTAINS three*
Fie t?ant thirty days! leave! said the captains,
We do all the work! etc,***
And he called for his MAJORS three»
Where1 a coy boots and skis? said the majors,
We want thirty days* leave! etc*.*,,
And he called for his COLONELS three*
What1 a my next command? said the colonels,
Where1 s fay boots and skis? etc****
And he called for his GENERALS three.
The Army*s gone to belli said the generals *
What*a my nest command? etc*.*«
And he called for his CHAPLAINS thrm«
JESUS CHRIST! GODDAM! said the chaplains,
The Army*s gone to hell! ete««*•»••«•
24* TP „8iK,IFgfflP0Qy_ SOgG
To the tables down at lorry's* to the place where Louie dwells*
To that dear old temple bar we love so wellf
Where the Whiffenpoofs assemble, with their glasses raised on high*
And the magic of their singing casts a spell*
Yes, the magic of their singing, and the songs we love so well*
•Shall I Wasting11 and "Mavoureen11 and the rest;
We will serenade our Louie, while life and voice doth last,
Then we111 pass and be forgotten with the rest*
We are poor little lambs who have lost their way, Baal Baa! Baal
Little black sheep who have gone astray, Baal Baal Baal
Gentlemen songsters off on a spree, doomed from here to eternity,
God have mercy on such as wet Baal Baal Baal
25. PAUBSTIME SKI SCHOOL
W© are the Palestine ski school, an honorable clan are we
We*11 iron our your faults for a dollar,
For a dollar we* 11 teach you to akil
We press your pants for fifty cents extra
And throw in the ski school pin freeI
So when you hear the cry — slaloml
Dig way down deep in your wallet*
Taleaarks, stem turns, and tailboggans too,
If you've got a turn we can call it ~
Slalom, Slaloml
We are the Palestine ski school, an honorable clan are we
We111 teach you to bend at the elbow,
But we1re not so sharp at the kneel
Every night we drink gallons of beer,
To keep in condition you see;
So when you hear the cry — Slaloml
Rally round if you1re able,
And when you find the beer's all gone
Sou* 11 find us under the tablel
Slalom, Slaloml
26* ThE VIRGIM STOBGEOK
Caviar comes from a virgin sturgeon,
A virgin sturgeons a very rare fish,
A virgin sturgeon needs no urgin'
That1s why caviar's a very rare disfcu
I fed some caviar to my Dolly,
She was a virgin tried and true^
Now that vizigin needs no urgin*
There's not a damn thing she won*t do*
Trout fish is just like a salmon,
Except it's on a minor scale,
But the trout fish like the salmon,
Cangt get along without its tall,
(CONTINUED)
26o THE VIRGIH STOBfiEON (Gont.)
Shad roe comes from harlot shadfish
3hadfish face a sorry fate
A pregnant shadfish Is a sad fish
Gets that way without a mate*
Oysters are prolific bivalves
They have young ones in their shell
How they diddle is a riddle
But they do ~ so what the hell?
The green sea turtle9 s mate is happgr
Ofer her lover1 s winning ways
First he grips her with his flipper
Then they flip for days and days«
The lady clam is optimistic
Shoots her eggs out la the sea
Hopes her suitor, as a shooter
Hits the self same spot as she*
Give a thought to the canny codfish
Ever there when duty calls
Female codfish are an odd fish
Frosa thein too, come codfish balls*
Lucky critters are the rayfish
When a litter th^y essay
Xes, ray hearties, they have parties
In the good old fashioned way.
I fed caviar to my grandpa
He*s the age of ninety-three
Shouts of joy come out of grandma
He had chased her up a tree*
I fed caviar to my uncle
He's the age of ninety-eight
Now he chases * round with women
Hefs been arrested twice for rape*
I fed some caviar to my rooster
Thought it would help the hens to lay
He jumped up on the cow and goosed her
Now we have egg nog twice a day.
2?«, timet mmn
In the hills of Wast Virginia lived a girl named Nancy Brown,
And she was the fairest maiden in the city or the town*
Oh, one day there came a deacon, a-seekinf for some thrills,
And he took our little Nanqy Brown away up in the hills«
She came roilin1 down the mountain
She came roilin' down the mountain
She came roilin1 down the mountain mighty wise,
And she didn*t give the deacon that there thing that he was seekin1
But remained as pxre as West Virginia skies.
Oh, one day there came a cowboy in his fancy chaps and frills,
And he took out little Nancy Brown away up in the hills*
She came roilin1 down the mountain
She came roilin' down the mountain
She came roilin1 down the mountain by the dam
For despite the cowboy* 0 urgin* she remained the local virgin,
And stayed as pure as West Virginia ham*
Along came a miner, full of beer and wine,
Again they climbed the mountain, but when she read his mind --
She came roilin1 down the mountain
She came roilin9 down the mountain
She came roilin1 down the mountain by the shack,
And returned as I have stated, not a bit contaminated
And still as pure as pappy9s applejack,
Along came a city slicker with his hundred dollar bills,
And he took Hancy in his Packard away up in the hills.
They stayed up in the mountain
Oh, they stayed up in t&e mountain
They stayed up in the mountain all that night,
She came down next moraln1 early, more a woman than a girlie
And her pappy kicked the hussy out of sight*
flow she*$ livin* in the city
Now shefs livin* in the city
Now ahe^s livinf in the city mighty swell,
For she's wining and she*s dining, and shefs on her back reclining
And the West Virginia hills can go to hell*
Along came the Depression, and the slicker lost his pants,
First he lost his Packard, and then he lost his Nance.
9Cause she went back to those mountains,
Oh, she went back to the mountains
Oh, she went back to the mountains mighty sore*
And the cowboy and the deacon got that thing they were a<-seekin9
And now she3 a known as West Virginia9s favorite -- sweetheartt
28. AJjfrH.....WlTEOOT^jfOMAM
A nan without a wossan is like a ship without a sail
Is like a boat without a rudder, is like a kite without a tailj
A man without a ~^>rmn is like a wreck upon the sand,
But if there*s one thing worse in this universe,
It's a woiaan -- I said a woman,
It's a woman without a mane.
How you can roll a silver dollar down upon the ground
And it will roll, because it's round,
A woman never knows what a good man she's got
Until she turns him down,
Now listen, come and listen to me
I want you to understand,
As a silver dollar goes from hand to hand
A woman goes from man to mane
I had a date with Minnie the Mermaid
Down at the Bottom of the Sea
She lost her morals down amongst the corals
Gawd! but she was good to me*
Many's the night when the pale moon was shining
Down on her little bmjgalow
Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust,
A pair of twin beds, and only one of them mussed*
How you can easily see she's not my mother
Because ay mother's forth-nine,
And you can easily see she's not ay sister
Because I*d never show bqt sister such a helluva good time,
AM you can easily see she's not ssy sweetheart
Because ssy sweetheart's too refined
She's just a slip of a kid who never cared what she did
She' b just a personal friend of mine*
30« MABS AM MC GARTH!
Mary Aran McCarthy * she went out to dig some clams,
Mary Ann flcGarthy* die went out to dig some clams,
Mary Ann McCarthy, she went out to dig some clams*
BUT SHE DIDN'T POT) A GODDAM CLAM!
All she ever found was ersters,
All she ever found was ersters^
All she ever found isas ersters,
AND SHE DIDN'T FIND A GODDAM CLAM!
She dug up all the mud there was in San Fr&neisco Bay,
She dug up all the mud there was in San Francisco Bay,
She dug up all the mod there was in San Francisco Bay,
BUT SHE DIDN'T FIND A GODDAM CLAM!
All she ever found was ersters^ etc*.*.**
29* SSSLUk
Poor Lil, she was a famous beauty
She lived in a house of ill repute
The folks they came from miles around
Just to see poor Lil in her low cut gown*
Poor Lil, boom~de-»ah~dah, boom~de~ah-dah,
Poor Lil, boom-de-ah-dah, boom-de~ah»dah.
Day by day poor Lil grew thinner
Because of the lack of vitamins in 'er
She started taking Flelschmann' s least
But still her clientele decreased.
Poor Lil, etc.♦•*
Lil was .comely! Lil was fair
Lil had lots of yellow hair
She drank too deep of the Demon Rum
And smoked hasheesh and o~pjL~uia
Now day by day poor Lil grew thinner
From insufficient proteins in *er
She grew deep hollows in her chest
And had to go around completely dressed*
Mow clothes may make a girl go far
But they have no place on a fille de jour
Oh, Lillian*s troubles started when
She concealed her abdomen.
Lillian went to the house physician
He prescribed for her condition
Madam, you have what the doctors say
Is per^ni-ahi-ous a-ne~ad~ayo
Now Lil took treatments in the sun
Lil took Scott1s e~nrul-si-on
Three times dally she took yeast
But still her clientele decreased*
1*11 have you know her clientele
Rested largely on her belly
She shook that tiling like the deep Pacific
Oh, it was something calorific•
Lillian underwent baptism
She adopted mysticism
And eveiy night when she went to sleep
She prayed the Lord her soul to keep.
One night as she lay in her dishonor
She felt the hand of the Lord upon her
She said "Dear Lord, I do repent,
But it1s still gonna cost Vera fifty cents*
3!« HER MOTHER NEVER TOLD HER
8Twas a cold winter evening, the boys were aU leaving*
OfLeary was closing the bar?
To a lady turned gray these words he did say,
"Get out, you can11 stay where you are»n
She wept a sad tear in her bucket of beer,
As she thought of the cold night ahead,
When a gentleman dapper stepped out of the phone booth, \
And these are the words that he said*
"Her mother never told her, the things a young girl should know,
About the ways of college boys, and how they come and go;
She has lost her youth and beauty,
And Life has dealt her a scar,
So think of your anther and sisters, boys,
And leave her sleep under the bar.
32. LET ME CALL 100 SWEETHEART
Let me call you Sweetheart, I'm in love with youj
Let me hear you whisper, that you love me too*
Keep the love~light glowing, in your eyes so truej
Let me call you Sweetheart, Fm in love with you.
33. WHEN IRISH CTES ARE SMILING
When Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure *tis like a morn in spring,
In the lilt of Irish laughter,
lou can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world seems bright and gay,
And when Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure they steal your heart away.
34. MEMORIES
Memories, memories ~«- dreams of love so true,
0*er the sea of memory — Fin drifting back to you.
Childhood days, wildwood days — amount the birds and bees
lou left me alone ~~ but still you* re my own,
In my beautiful memories*
35. MY WIU? IRISH ROSE
My wild Irish Rose — the sweetest flower that grows,
lou may search everywhere «• but none can compare,
With my wild Irish Rose.
My Wild Irish Rose ~ the dearest flower that grows,
And some day for my sake •- she may let me take
The bloom from my wild Irish Rose.
36* JOHN BROWNS BAM
John Browns Baby had a cold upon its cheat
John Broun1 a Baby had a cold upon its chest
Joha Broils Baby had a cold upon its chest %
So they rubbed it with camphorated oil!
17. Iff jSILS OF ST^J&jgJS
The Bells of St. Mary1 a, ah, hear, they are calling
The young loves, the time loves who come from the sea;
And so, ay beloved, when red leaves are falling,
The love bells shall ring out, ring, out, for you and me*
38. PACK UP YOPR TROUBISS
Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag, and smile, smile, smile
While youfve a lucifer to light your fag,
Smile, beys, that's the style.
What's the use of worry!!*1 — it never was worth while,
So.o.pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile.
39. SqjDQL P|jS
School days, school days — dear old Golden Rule days,
Readin* and writing and frithmatlc
Taught to the tune of a hick1re stick
Xou were my queen in calico, I was your bashful, barefoot beau,
lou wrote on bqt slate nl love you, Joe,'1
When we were a couple of kids*
40. ROAMS' IK THE GLOAMIK*
Roamin' in the gloamin1 ~ on the bonnie banks of Clyde,
Roamin* in the gloamin5 —• with my lassie by my side}
When the sun has gone to rest, that1 s the time that 1 love beet,
Oh, it's lovely, roamin1 in the gloamin1.
41- SfrlLMO. SAILING
Sailing, sailing, over the bounding main,
Many & stormy wind shall blow, ere Jack comes home again*
Sailing, sailing, over the bounding main,
For many a stormy wind shall blow, ere Jack comes home again*
42» SWEET ROSS 0«GRADI
Sweet Rom 0*Grady, my dear little Rose?
She1s my steady lady, most everyone knows.
And when we are married, how happy we* 11 be,
For I love sweet Rosie 0*Grady,
And Rosie 0*Grady loves me.
43. THE MM OK 1HB HOT. PAIE OF SKIS
He fldats dom the ©lopes with the greatest of ease,
The daring young man on the new pair of skis,
His actions are graceful all the girls he does please,
And lay love he has stolen away,
This maid that I loved, she was handsome,
And I tried all I knew her to please,
But I never could please her one quarter so well
As the man on the new pair of skis — OR!
He floats down the slop?© with the greatest of class
He misses a torn and he lands on his*..face
His actions are graceful, as the girls he does pass,
And ay love He has stolen away.
If I had my way, dear, forever ther*d be
A garden of roses for you and for me*
A thousand and one things, dear, I would do,
Just for, just for you*..*
If I had tsy way, we would never grow oldj
And sunshine I*d bring every day*
fou would reign all alone, like a queen on a throne,
If I had my way.
45. MS GAL SAL
They called her frivolous Sal, a peculiar sort of a gal*
With a heart that was mellow, an all * round good fellow
Was my old pal*
Tour troubles, sorrows and care, she was always willing to share,
A wild sort of devil, but dead on the level
Was wp gal Sal*
52. 'IN THE GOOD OLD SDMHER TIMB
In the good old summer time, in the good old summer time,
Strolling thru the shady lanes, with your baby«mine«
lou hold her hand, and she holds yours,
And that*8 a very good sign
That she's your tootsey-wootsey,
In the good old summer time.
53. hmssm
Alouette, gentile Alouette, Alouette, je te plumerai*
Je te plumerai la tet, Je te plumerai la tet,
Et la tet, et la tet, OHJ
Alouette* gentile Alouette, Alouette, Je te plumerai*
Je te plumerai la bee, Je te plumerai le bee;
et le bee, et le bao,
Et la tete, et la tete, OH! etc,
Le n®z -- Le dos -- Les pattes ~» Le cou
54* DKXFTIKG AMD DHEAMIMG
Drifting and dreaming, while shadows fall*
Softly at twilight, I hear you call*
Love1 s old sweet story, told with your eyes,
Drifting and dreaming, sweet paradise.
55. off swmi
I came from Alabama with ay banjo on my knee,
Vm gwine to Louisiana, ay true love for to see*
It rained all night the day I left,
The weather it was dry,
The sun so hot I froze to death
Susanna, don*t you cry,
Oht Susanna, don*t you cry for me,
For I've come from Alabama with my banjo on my knee.
56* THE BAND PL&XED ON
Casey would waltz with a strawberry blonde,
And the band played on,
He*d glide cross the floor with the girl he adored,
And the band played on.
But his brain was so loaded, he nearly explodeds
The poor girl would shake with alarm*
He married the girl with the strawberry curl,
And the band played on,
57* OH THE BAHKS OF THE WABASH
Oh, the moonlight's fair tonight along the Wabash
From the fields there comes the breath of new-mown hay*
Thru the sycamores the candle light are greasing*
On the banks of the Wabash, far sway*
58. CARRI ME BACK TO OLD YIRGBIM
Garry me back to old Virginny,
There*s where the cotton and the com and ftaters gron,
There1 s where the birds warble sweet in the springtime,
There's where this old darkle*s heart does long to go*
Therw1s where I labored so hard for old Massa,
Day after day in the fields of yellow corn,
Mo place on earth do I love more sincerely,
That old Virginny, the place where I was born*
59* BEER BOTTLE
It was only an old beer bottle, floating on the foam
It was only an old beer bottle, a million miles from home
Inside was a piec© of paper, with these vmrds written on:
^Whoever finds this bottle, finds the beer all gone."
There is a tavern In the town, in the town,
And there my true love sits him down, sits hiss dowzu««»
And drinks his wine, amid the laughter free,
And never, never thinks of me,
Fare thee well, for I aust leave thee,
Do not let this parting grieve thee,
And remember that the best of friends oust part, saist part*
Adieu, Adieu* kind friends, adieu, yes adieu*
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you;
I111 hang my harp on a weeping willow tree,
And may the world go well with thee*
He left me for a damsel dark, damsel dark,
Each Friday night they used to spark, used to spark,
And now ay love, once so true to me,
Takes that dark damsel on his knee*
Oh, dig ay grave both wide and deep, wide and deep,
Put tombstones at my head and feet, head and feet,
And on my breast, carve a turtle dove,
To signify I died of love*
&• WHEN GOOD FELLOWS GET TOQBB1B&
Give a rouse, in the May time, for a life that knows no fear;
Turn night-time into daytime, with the sunlight of good cheer ^
For it*s always fair weather, when good fellows get together,
With a stein on the table, and good song ringing clear*
For it* a always fair weather, when good fellows get together,
With a-stein on the table, and a good song ringing clear*
0H1 we're all frank and twenty, when the spring is in the airj
And we*ve faith and hope a-plenty, and we*ve life and love to spare•
And it*s birds of a feather, when good fellows get together,
With a stein on the table, and a heart without a care*
And it*s*birds of a feather, when good fellows get together,
% With a stein on the table, and a heart without a care*
When I was young and used to wait, on Master and give him his plate,
And pass the bottle when he got dry, and brush away the blue tail fly.
Jimmie crack com and I donft care,)
Jinsmie crack com and I don9t care?) After each verse
Jisssie crack com and .1 don9t care,)
My master3 gone away* )
And when hef& ride in the afternoon, Ifd follow after with a Hiek*xy broom,
The pony being rather shy, when bitten by a blue tail fly*
One day he ride arousd the farm, the flies bo numerous they did swarm,
One chanced to bit© him on the thigh* the devil take that blue tail fly*
The pony ran, he jump, he pitchj he throw ury master in the ditch*
He died and the Jury wondered ishyj the verdict was the blue tail fly*
They laid Mb under a fsimmon tree, his epitaph is there to see %
Beneath this stone Vm forced to lie, a victim of the blue tail fly*
a
Will the Spearmint lose it© flavor on the bedpost over night?
% If you put it on the left side will you find it on the right?
If you scratch your back in the morning,- will it itch you in in night?
Will the Spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
Here come© the blushing bride, the groom is at her side?
Straight to the alter, firm as Gibraltar,
The groom has the ring, the choir begins to sing:
Will the Spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
If teacher ieHs you not to chew it will you swallow it for spite?
Do you grab it with your tonsils,, and then swing it left and right?
Will the Spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
The nation rose as one* to send its favorite son,
Straight to the Whit© House, the nation1s favorite light house,
To settle the great question, that involves these continents?
Will the Spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost over night?
If you put it on the left side will you find it on the right?
I think I'm going cra&y$ will someone set me right?
Will the Spearmint lose its flavor on the bedpost over Bight?
64. FOCGl, FOGGI DEM
^ When.I was a bach*lor, I lived all alone,
I worked at the weaver's trade;
And the only* only thing that I did that was wrong,
* Was to woo a fair young maid*
I wooed her in the wintertime,
Part of the smraer tooj
And the only* only thing that I did that was wrongs
Was to keep her from the foggy* foggy dew*
One night she knelt close to ay side,
When 1 was fast asleep;
And threw her anas around my neck^
And then began to weep*
She wept', she cried , she tore her hair
Ah me, What could 1 do?
So all night long I held her in say arms
Just to keep her from toe foggy, foggy dew*
Again I am a bach1lor, 1 live with my son,
We work at the weaver1s trade*
And every single time that I look into his eyes,
He reminds. me of the fair joxmg maid*
He reminds me of the wintertime,
Part of the summer too,
And of the many* many times that I held her in ny arms,
,- Just to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew,,
4
65. I DQH8T Gip,,A......BOOT
My wife she say now Oley, do you think that this is cute? •
There1 it not a button left on the front of your union suit;
1 ©aid sew up the front of it, Just like a flour sack}
And I811 get in and out by way of the trap door in the back
CHORUS:
I donH give a hoot, I just don't give a hoot}
We got plenty of trouble, but I juat don't give a hoot*
Now Elmer he9 a my oldest aon, he9 a quiet like a mouse;
He built himself an airplane, out of the chicken house}
He went to bed and dreamed all night, of how he'd loop the loop;
Then he got up in the morning, and went out and flew the coop.
Oh, I donft give a hoot, I just don't give a hoot}
We got plenty of trouble, but I just don't give a hoot*
iSy neighbors they raise 20 kids, and now they are old and weak;
They never liked each other, no, they hardly ever speakj
The oil stove it exploded, and blev; them up so high,
T'was the first time they1 s been out together since eight years last July.
I don*t give a hoot, I just don't give a hoot}
Jfe got plenty of trouble, but I just donft give a hoot*
My uncle he is screwy, but he is always feeling grand}
At breadfast time he sits and stirs his oatmeal with his har.d;
% wife she called the Doctor, he1 s the one who killed our goat;
The Doctor says he is 0#K. , he's onlj feeling his oats*
I don't give a hoot, I just don't give a hoot}
Except for Fetrlllo, I just don't give a hoot.
66, DIBS1 DQODIS
Dipsy Doodle, I'm off my noodle, I've thrown my tms® away,
% rapture1 s gone, soy rupture's gone*
I want to go awiiBffiin1 with bowlegged women, and dive between their knees
My rupture1 a gon% my rupture1 a gone*
I want to go drinkin1 so I ean get stinkin1 and fall down on my lego,
My rupture's gone, my rupture's gone*
If you know aay ladies who want to make babies, just .send them around to me,
My rupture's gone, wy rupture's gone*
67* BOLL MK OVER (Words, music and inspiration
~ courtesy of US 8th AF, England)
0hp this is number one, and the fun has just begun;
Holl me over lay me down and do it again*••.)
Roll me over, in the clover ) After each versa
Roll we over lay me down and do it again )
Oh, this is number two? and his hand is on my shoe;
Oh* this is number three, and his hand is on my knee;
Oh, this is number four, and he's got me on the floor;
Oh, this is number five, and we're glad we're both alive;
Oh, this is number six, and we're in a helluva fix;
Oh^ this is number seven, and we're both in heaven;
Oh, this is number eight, and the doctor's set the date;
Oh, this is number nine, and the baby's doing fine;
Oh, this is number ten, and we're at it again,
Roll me over, lay me down and do it again„
Off the clover, itfs all overt
Roll me over3 pick me up—can't do it again!
6B* THE FIREMAN'S BAKD
Oh! the Fireman's Band, the Fireman's Band,
Here' s my heart and here's my hand!
The Fireman*s Band, the Fireman's Band,
Here's ay heart and here's my handl
Now don't you really* really think,
That we should pause and have a drink? (Pause) (Drink)
(Faster)
OK! The Fireman's Band, the Fireman's Band,
Here5s my heart and here's my handl
(spoken) OhI for the life of a fireman, to sit on an engine red,
And holler to the horses* GO AHEAD! GO AHEAD! GO AHEAD!
CLANG! CLANG! BAN."! BANG! SSH! SSH! SSH!
The goddam firefs out!
69* MacMAMARA' S BAKD
Oh, me name is MacNamara, I'm the leader of the band,
Altho' we9re few in number, we1re the best in all the lando
Of course I am conductor, and we very often play
Before the great musicians that you hear of every day«
Oh, the drums go bang, and the cymbals clang, and the horns they blaze away*
McCarthy pumps the old baeoon, while I the pipes do play,
Hennessey Dennessey tootles the flute, the music is something grand I
And a credit to old Ireland is MacNamara's Band*
Oh, we play at wakes and weddings and at every fancy ball,
But at dead man's funeral, we're the gayest of them all,
When General Grant 'to Ireland came, he took me by the hand,
He said he's never seen the likes of IlacNamara's Band«
Just now we are rehearsing for a very swell affair,
All the dukes and dutchesses and children will be thereo
The gentry they will all turn out, the music will be grand,
At the head of the procession will be MacNsmara'8 band*
Oh, ray name is Uncle Julius, and from Sweden I did come,
To play in Uactiamara's Band, and beat the big bass drum*
And when I march along the street, the ladies think I'm grand,
They shovld, "There's Uncle Julius playing with an Irish Bandi"
Oh, I wear a bunch of shamrocks and a uniform of green,
And I'm the funniest looking Swede that you have ever seen,
There's O'Briens and Ryans, and Sheehans, and Meehans, they come from Irelaad
But, by liminy, I'm the only Swede in MacNamara's Bandt
70o SKI! SKI, SKI
(Melodyj Whiffenpoof song)
When the old year makes its exit, and we usher in the new "
At a refuge in the hills we love so well;
Then we gather 'round the fire and guasle down the "glu"
And singing, we invoke St* Peter's spell,
Yes, singing all those ski songs, and the tunes we love so well,
"Underneath the Takeoff," "Sven,1* and all the rest,
We will serenade St0 Peter, and pray for powder snow,
OHI skiing is the sport we love the besto
We are doctors, and lawyers, and students, we,
Ski, ski, skil
We are smeared with the grime of the cities, you see,
Ski, ski, skil
So that's why we've come back to God's country,
Back to the land of the snow-covered tree;
here we frolic in jollity,
Ski, ski, skil
71* THE SHIP TITANIC
Ohf they built the ship Titanic, to sail the ocean blue,
And they thought tfaey had a ship that the water would never leak thru,
But the Lordfs almighty hand knew this ship would newer stand;
It was sad when that great ship went down*
CHORUSi
Oh, it was sad, Lord, sad; it was sad, Lord, sad;
It was sad when that great ship went down to the bottom of the sea
Husbands and wives, little children lost their lives
It was sad when that great ship went down*
Oh, they sailed from England, and were almost to the 3hore,
Whan the rich refused to associate with the poor,
So they put them down below, where they were the first to go;
It was sad when that great ship went down*
CHORUSs
The boat was full of sin, and the sides about to burst
When the captain shouted, "A-wimmen and children first!®
Oh, the captain tried to wire, the the lines were all on firej
It was sad when that great ship went down*
CHORUS5
Ohg they swing lifeboats out 0$er the deep and raging sea,
$hen the band struck up with wA~nearer my God to Thee*
Little children wept and cried, as the waves swept Ofer the side*
It was sad when the great ship went down*
CHORUSt
72. GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART
Goodnight, sweetheart, 'till we meet tomorrow!
Goodnight sweetheart^ sleep will banish sorrow,
Tears and parting may make us forlorn,
But with the dawn, a new day is born,
(so Pll say)
Goodnight sweetheart, tho I'm not beside you,
Goodnight sweetheart, still ay love will guide you,
Dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight*
73o MAMAMA
(Melodys same as title)
Oh,* the rope tow she is busted, the engine will not run*
rhe guest are all complaining at missing all their funa
Aey ask us when wefill fix it, and we can only say:
"We fix it up Manana^ but we gotta ski todayt"
Xanana, Manana^ Manana is good enough for me.o*..
The tows they are all finished, they are frozen in the snowo
The chair lift ~*she*s no function - for why we do not knowo
The guest are not complainin - they do not give a hootI
They1 re all down in the Beer Hall, a-goin' on a toot I
Manana, Manana, Manana is good enough for me****
The customers are coming all the way up here to ski,
Why the damn-fools do it is something we can't see*
It snows like hell all week-end, 'till the folks all go away
Then skiing is just wonderful, the sun shines every day!
Manana, Manana^ Manana is good enough for ae.»oc
74* RAGTIME COWBOY JOE
Out in Arizona where the bad men are,
Where the only light.to guide you is the evening star,
The roughest* toughest guy by far is Ragtime Cowboy JoeG
He got his name from singing to his cows and sheep,
And ^verj nigjht they say he sings his herds to sleep
In a bass so soft and deep ..«0 crooning soft and lowe*»o
CHOBUS: #
He always sings ragged music to his cattle,
As he swings*.ooback and forward in the ©addle,
On a horse»«e«(pretty good horse)
With a syncopated gaiter
And it's such a funny meter to the roar of his repeater,
How they run?
When they hear the fellow's gun, for the Western folks all know
He's a high-falutin* rootin* tootin* son-of-a-gun from Arizona
He's some cowboy:9 talk about your cowboy,
Ragtime Cowboy, Joea
75. MM
(Melody: Auld Lang Syne)
On mules we find two lege behind, and two we find before
m stand behind before we find what the two behind be for
When we^re behind the two behind we find what these be for
So stand before the two behind, behind the two before,
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_10.png)
_11.png)
76. SCHNI7Z£LBAM
1st das nicht ein Schnitzelbank? Ja das 1st ein Schnitzelbank*
1st das nicht ein Kurz und Lang? Ja das ist ein Kurz und Lang*
El du schone, ei du schone,
Ki du schone Schnitzelbank
Ist das nicht ein Ein und Her? Ja das ist ein Hin und Her.
Ist das nicht ein Lichtputzacher? Ja das ist ein Lichtputzacher,
Lichtputzscher, Hin und Her, Kurz und Lang, und Schnitzelbank*
(Substitute, repeating ones already sungs)
Krum und Grad, Wagenrad,
Goldener Ring, Schones Ding*
Gute Wurst, Grosser Durst*
Horburgsmetter, Gute Butter*
Besenstil, Automobile
Herbergsvater, Gigger-Gagger*
Helles Lieht, Affengeslcht,
77. TX>m IS THE PJff
Today is the day we give babies away with a half a pound of tea
Xou open the lid and you pull out a kid with a ten year guarantee
If you know any ladles who want any babies just send them around to me
For today is the day we give babies away with a half a pound of tea*
I wish I were able to give out a cradle with ©very can of soup
Or maybe a bib or doll or a crib or a pill to cur? the croup
But surely to goodness you haven11 the rudeness to ask for more than that
With a package of tea we give you free a handsome bouncing brat*
Come you all and do your shopping here
This is the greatest bargain of the year
This is the chance you've been waiting for
Buying your kids at the grocery store
By the can, my good man, opportunity knocks at your door0
It you want a nice blue-eyed brunette
I must admit they* re awfully hard to get
But I know a couple of babies who
Are just about twenty or twenty~two
Theyfd be glad, of a chance, just to meet up with you.
lou must come down and see my garden
Where the babies grow on trees
That's where their little bodies harden
In the warm day*s sun and the evening* s gentle breeze*
I'll let you pick yourself a sample
Take the nicest one you see,
And if youfd like to have it1* Mother
Just hxxp another pound of tea*
78. WHAM! WENT THE SKIER
(Melody: Pop Goes the Weasel)
Around and f round the mountain top
Be skied without a fear}
Till all of a sudden he hit a rock
WHAM! went the skier.
They took him to a hospital
Doe said he'd never ski again;
And now he skis without a fear
{rassherry) to the Doctor!
79. GLORIOUS BEER
Let me sing you a song of a gargle*
A lotion to Hie very dear;
I refer to that grand lubricator,
That wonderful tonic called beer ~~ boom, boos*, boom, boom, boom,
Beer, beer, glorious beer,
Fill yourself right up to here;
Don't be afraid of it, drink •till you*re made of it,
Drink of our old lager beer ~ boom, boom, boom, boom, boom*
Drink a great deal of it, make a whole meal of it,
Come, boys, a rousing good cheer — Hurrabt
Up with the sale of It, down with the pall of it,
Glorious, hlorious beer.
It*s the dad<$y of all lubricators,
A rery fine thing for your necks;
Can be used as a lotion or gargle,
For people of eirery sex — boom, boom, boom, boom, booau
CHORUS*
They say there1® a Goddess of Wine, boys
But is there a Goddess of Beer?
If there is* let us drink to her name, boys^
And wish that we had her right here - boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
CHORUS.
80. SHE IS MORE TO BE PITIED THAH CENSURED
She is more to be pitied than censured^
She is more to be helped than despised;
She is only a lassie who ventured
On life's stormy path ill-advised*
Do not scorn her with words fierce and bitter,
Do not laugh at her shame and downfall;
For a moment just stop and consider,
That a man was the cause of It all*
mmtmmM
Take a leg from any old table; take an arm from any old chair,
Take a neck from some old bottlej and from a horse you get the hair
And then put them all together; and stick them up with glue,
And I'll get a lot more lovin1 from that goddamn dummy
Than I ever got from youl
82. qg'ift fifi sictg pqww iff popTAP
She'll be skiing down the mountain when she skis
She'll be skiing down the mountain when she skis
She1 U be skiing down the mountain, kicking snow up like a fountain
Making sitzmarks beyond countln1, wl en she skis*
She will wear a sweater classy when she skis
She will wear a sweater classy when she skis
She will wear a sweater classy, draped upon her quaking chassis
This refrigerated lassie, when she skis.
83. CLEMENTINE
In a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine,
Lived a miner, forty-ninerr and his daughter Clementine.
Oh oy darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine.
Light she was, and like a fairy, and her shoes were number nine
Herring boxes without topses, sandles were for Clementine.
Drove she ducklings to the water every morning just at nine,
Het her foot against a splinter, fell into the foaming brine.
Ruby lips above the water, blowing bubbles soft and fine
But alast 1 was no swimmer -- so I lost my Clementine.
Now ye Boy Scouts, heed the warning, to this tragic tale of mine
Artificial respiration would have saved my Clementine.
In a churchyard near the canyon, where the iqyrtle doth entwine
There grow roses and other posies, fertilized by Clementine.
Then the miner, forth-niner, soon began to peak and pine
Thought he ouster, join his daughter, now he»s with his Clementine *
In ny dreams she still doth haunt me, robed in garments soaked with brine
Though in life I used to hug her, now she1 a dead I draw the line.
How I missed her, how I missed her, How I missed my Clementine
Till I kissed her little sister, and forgot ay Clementine*
**• THE MAN WHO COMES TO OUR HOUSE
There's a man who comes to our house, every single day
Papa comes home and the nan goes away
Papa does the work and Varna gets the pay
And the man comes around when Papa goes away.
The man who comes to our house, he9 s so very nice
He comes in the summertime, to bring llama ice
The teeny-weeny piece he brings won melts away
And he has to come back later in the day*
There9 s a man who comes to cur house, he comes to get the trash
In a little white Jacket and his little black moustache
It sounds vwy strange but it always seems to me
He's a little more familiar than he really ought to be.
There1 s a man who comes to cur house, he comes to bring the milk
Be walks right in the kitchen and he talks as smooth as silk
I always have to hold his horse, outside the gate
He always wants to stay so long, the horse don9t want to wait.
Oh, when 1 grow up, I9m never going to be
A plumber or a carpenter, no, no sireet
I' 11 never be a doctor with an office down in town
No, I9d rather be -• just the man who comes around.
85. SILK PAJAMAS
She wears her silk pajamas in the summer when it9s hot,
She wears her flannel nighties in the winter when it9s not,
And sometimes in the springtime, and sometimes in the fall
She jumps right in between the sheets with nothing on at alii
Glory, how Ifd like to be there,
Glory, how Ifd like to be there,
Glory, how I9d like to be there,
In the springtime and the fall1.
One grasshopper jumped right over the other grasshopper's back
(4 times)
They were only playing leapfrog (3 times)
As one grasshopper jumped right over the other grasshopper9 s back'*
One mosquito scratched the other mosquito9 s 'squito-bite
They were only being friendly
One flea-fly flew up the flue and the other flea-fly flew down
They were only playing flue fly
One pink porpoise popped up the pole and the other pink porpoise popped down
Glory, glory, how peculiar!
86. THE PIG im THE INEBRIATE
It was early last December, as near as I remember,
I was miking down the street in topsy pride -
No one I was disturbing, as I lay down by the curbing,
And a pig came up and lay down by ay side*
As I lay there in the gutter, thinking thoughts I cannot utter,
A lady passing by was heard to say,
"You can tell a man who booses by the company he chooses." *
And the pig got up and slowly walked away.
87. m ewt wt a prop» m ¥m§
Now, .. in a race was a great disgrace
Cause he soon landed up in the trees;
And the reason that he fell was you knew damned well
That he didnft get a bend in his knees.
CHORUS: Oh, he didn't get a bend in his knees,
Oh, he didn't get a bend in his knees,
And the reason that he fell was you know damned well
That he didnH get a bend in his knees.
Now, mmmtmtmmtmmmmm^^ thought with the skis he had bought
He would ski with the maximum of ease,
He skied damned well, and he skied like hell
But he didn't get a bend in his knees.
CHORUS.
88. ONE FISH BALL
(Leader):
A man was walking up and down
To find a place where he could dine in town.
(Everybody):
A man was walking up and down
To find a place where he could dine in town.
He found himself a gorgeous place, and entered in with gorgeous grace*
(Chorus)
He took his purse his pocket hence, but ail he found was fifteen
cents.(Chorus)
He scanned the menu thru and thru, to see what fifteen cents could do. ( * )
The only thing ftwould do at all, was buy one----ne fish ball. ( n )
He called the waiter down the hall, and softly whispered, "One fish ball.11
The waiter bellowed down the hall, "This gentlemen here wants one fish baHl®
The guests, they turned both one and all, to see who wanted one fish ball.
The wretched man grew ill at ease, and softly whispered, *Bread, sir, if you
please.
The waiter bellowed down the hall, ^Sou gets no bread with one fish balli®
There is a moral to this all? Xou gets no bread with one fish ball.
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8$* I AIH'T GQNHA GRIEVE Kff LORD NO MOM
Oh, de deacon went down, to de cellar to pray
And he got drunk*, and he stayed all day
Oh, de deacon went down to de cellar to pray
And he got drunk, and he stayed all day
I ain't a-gonna grieve, My Lord no more* (I ain!t gonna grieve, etc*)
lou can't get to heaven (Repeat) - in a rocking chair (Repeat)
'Cause the Lord don't want (Repeat) - no lassybones dere (Repeat)
lou can't get to heaven - in an old Ford car
'Cause the damned old thing •» won't go that far*
lou can't get to heaven - on a pair of skis
lou'11 cchuss right thru - Saint Peter's knees,
lou can't get to heaven - on roller skates
lou* 11 roll right by - those pearly gates *
lou can't chew terbaccy - on the golden shore
'Cause the Lord ain't got - no cuspidor,
Oh, my gal Sal ~ am seven feet tall
She sleeps in de kitchen - wid her feet in de hall*
If you get to heaven • before I do
Just bore a hole * and pull me thru*
That's all dere is * and dere ain't no more
Saint Peter said ~ as he closed the door*
There's one more thing • I forgot to tell
If you don't go to heaven - you'll go to hell*.
90o VIVE L'AHOOR
Let every good fellow now join in a songl
Vive la compagniel
Success to each other and pass it along,
Vive la compagniel
Vive la, vive la, vive l'astour*
Vive la, vive la, vive 1'amour
Vive 1'amour, vive 1* amour§
Vive la compagniel
Should time or occasion compel us to part*
These days shall forever enliven the hearto (Chorus)
Good fellowship brings us together today*
It lights up our faces and makes our hearts gay* (Chorus)
Each one to his neighbor his hand now extends,
Completing a circle of true, loving friends* (Chorus)
91* THE OU) APPLE TREE IN THE ORCHARD
Oh « the old apple tree in the orchard
Lives in my memory,
1 Cause it reminds me of my pappy, he was handsome, young and happy,
When he planted the old apple tree.
Say good-bye, say good-bye,
Say good-bye to the old apple tree;
If ay pappy had a-knowed it, hefd be soriy that he growed it,
'Cause he died on the old apple tree*
Then one day pappy took Widder Norton
Out on a jamboree',
And when he took her home at sunup, Brother Norton raised his gun up,
And he chased pappy up in the tree*
Oh, the neighbors came after my pappy;
Up in the tree was he,
The neighbors took a rope and strung him, by the neck and then they
hung him
To a branch of the old apple tree*
*
Now my poor pappy lies in the orchard,
Out of his misery,
They put the apples in a basket, chopped the tree down for a casket,
And my poor pappus gone with the tree*
92* SIXPENCE
I've got sixpence, Jolly jolly sixpence
I've got sixpence, to last me all ay life;
I've got tuppence to spend, and tuppence to lend,
And tuppence to send home to my wife, poor wife*
No cares have I to grieve me,
No pretty little girls to decieve me,
I'm as happy as a lark, believe me,
As I go rolling, rolling home,
Rolling home, (rolling home), rolling home, (rolling home)
By the light of the silvery moo-oo-oo-oon,
Happy as the day when we line up for our pay,
As we go rolling, rolling home*
I've got fourpence, jolly jolly fourpenee,
I've got fourpence, to last me all my life;
I've got tuppence to spend, and tuppence to lend,
And nopence to send home to my wife, poor wife*
I've got tuppence, jolly jolly tuppence,
I've got tuppence to last me all my life;
I've got tuppence to spend, and nopence to lend
And nopence to send home to my wife, poor wife*
93* SHLgr-A.GWfOfrJmift
Oh, I wish I had a barrel o1 rum and sugar three hundred pound*
Ifd put it in the college bell* and stir it 9round and fround,
Like erory honest fellow, I like my Mickey clear,
For I*m a student of old _„«<__.mmtm and a son of a gun for beer*
CHORUS*
Ifm a son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a gun for beer
A son of af son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a gun for beer,
Like every honest fellow* I like igr whiskey clear,
I'm a student of old ., and a son of a gun for beer*
If I had a daughter, Ifd dress her in yellow and green,
And put her on the campus, to coach the freshman team;
And if I had a son, sir V11 tell you what hefd do,
He'd yell *To heU with «" like his daddy used to do*
A son of a gun of a spider went right up the water spout,
Then the rain came down the spout and washed the spider out;
Then the sun came shining out, and it dried up the rain,
And the son of a gun of a spider, he went up the spout again*
94o OLEI OLSEH
Oley Olsen went skating one day,
He put on his skates and he skated avayj
He skated right thru a hole in the ice,
And now he is skating Tit leesus Christ*
95* OLD SMPig
*Way up on Old Smoky, all covered with snow,
I lost isy true lover, for a~cortlnf too slow*
Now if you donft love me, love whom you please,
But throw your arms f round me, and give sgr heart ease*
Row courtin's a pleasure, and parting1s a grief,
But a false hearted lover, is worse than a thiefo
A thief he will rob you, and take all you save,
But a false hearted lover, will send you to the grave*
Now, the grave will decay you, and turn you to dust,
There's not a girl in ten thousand, that a poor boy can truat*
Now a false hearted lover, will tell you more lies,
Than the cross-ties in a railroad, or the stars in the skies*
So all you young lovers, pay attention to me,
And don* hang your heart, on that old willow tree*
#>* SKIER'S HEQPIEM
Come, fellows, just buckle *y boards on,
Lay my ski poles close by my side}
I'm off for the lord's own snpwfields,
Pa off for that last long ride*
Xou can lie in your nasty old graveyards,
Enjoying your eternal rest;
While I sU a trail down some heavenly vale,
Till the last sun sets in the west*
In this land there1 s no uphill climbing,
It's downhill forever and aye;
X won't have to fear for the weather,
There won't be a cloud in the sky*
Oh, the angels will cover the bare spots,
With plenty of fresh powder snow;
I won't have to fear for a frostbitten ear,
And I'm leaving ay waxes below*
In this land there's no amateur rating,
Each one is as good as the best;
The tempos and Christies come natural,
Perfection's no longer a quest*
I will slither thru heavenly powder,
Till it smokes from the tails of fay skis,
I won't have to learn, 'cause I'll know every turn,
And I'll do them with consuaate ease*
(Repeat first verse)
97. GOOD NIGHT LADIES
Good night ladles, good night ladles,
Good night ladies, we're going to leave you now*
Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along,
Merrily we roll along, o'er the deep blue sea*
Sweet dreams ladies, sweet dreams ladies,
Sweet dreams ladies, we're going to leave you now,
Merrily we roll along, roll along, roll along,
Merrily we roll along, o'er the deep blue sea*
Merrily we roll the keg, roll the keg, roll the keg,
Merrily we roll the keg, across the barroom floor*
Sadly we roll it back, roll it back, roll it back,
Sadly we roll it back, because there alnf t no more*
98. flU) $m PONNpiT?
Put on your old gray bonnet with the blue ribbon on it*
And we'll hitch old Dobbin to the shay*
Thru the f ielde of clover we will ride to Dover
On our Golden wedding day.
Let1 a get etlnkln'l said Abraham Lincoln
And we'll roll out another keg o9 beer*
For itfe not fbr knowledge that we ease to college
But to raiee hell while wefre here*
99* m mm °r m bpkstqne ligbx
Oh, ay father was the keeper of the Eddyatone Light*
He elept with a mermaid one fine night*
From the union there cane three;
A porpoise* a porgy, and the other was we*
To ho ho* the wind blows free*
Ob* for a life on the rolling seat (After each verse)
One night as I waa a trimmin1 of the glim*
A-singln1 a verae of the evenin1 hymn*
A voice from the starboard shouted ahoy*
And there waa me mother a-sittin1 on a buoy*
Oh* what has become of my children three
My mother then she asked of me*
One was exhibited as a talking fish*
The other was served in a chafing dish*
The phosphorus flashed in her seaweed hair*
I looked again and my mother wasn't there*
A voice came echoin1 out of the night,
"To Hell with the keepefr of the Iddystone Lightl*
100* ICH BIN MPSIKER
Ich bin musiker —» ich kosm ausden vaterland
Ich kaxm spielen — vas kannst du epielen
Auf maine voila — (chorus)i VI0-VI0-VI0LA
VI0-VI0-VI0U — H0-VI0-VI0LA
VIO-VIO-VIOLA — VI0-VI0-VI0U
(Same* with following, repeating ones already sung:)
Toddlesack (Toodle-toodle-toodlesack, etc.)
Trumpet (Trum~pet* ra~ta-ta-ta~ta* etc*)
Piccolo (Pico-pico-piccolo • whistle* etc.)
Zumbaaa (Suxn^zum-zumbasa, etc*)
Glockenspiel (Glocken-glocken-glockenspiel* etc*)
Bass Drum (Bass-drum* boom* boom* boom, etc*)
l«. IILJS04S?
Was let das, mein aohn, was iat das, was let das?
Das 1st eln Kap~beerer, das was ee ist*
Kap~bearer, oo-la~la-loo,
Das was wtr learn in der Schnle*
Was 1st das, mein Saba, was 1st das, was 1st das?
Das is ein Schweat-maker, das was es ist.
Sehweat-maker, Kap-bearer, oo-la-la-loo,
Das was wir learn in der Schule*
(Substitute, repeating ones already sung*)
Eye-seer Stink-smeller
Soup-strainer Girl«kisser
Beer-bolder Lap-sitter
Rear-kicker
102. ffppastfflfi
Ho, a song fcy the firel Pass the pipes, pass the bowl:
Ho, a song by the firel With a skoal, with a skoall
Ho, a song ~~ by the firel
For the wolf wind Is wailing at the doorways,
And the snow drifts are deep along the road,
And the ice-gnomes are marching from their Norways,
And the great white cold walks abroad.
Zum, sum, sum, sum, sum, sum, sum,
But here by the fire we defy the frost and storm;
Ha, hat We are warm, and we have our heart1 s desire.
For herefs for good fellows, and beechwood and the bellows,
And the cup is at the lip in a pledge of fellowship*
But here bj the fire, we defy the frost and storm,
Ha, hat We are warm, and we have our heart's desire.
For here's for good fellows,
And the beechwood and the bellows,
And the cup is at the lip,
In a pledge of fellowship; of fel«*eHowahip»
Pile the logs on the firel Fill the pipes, pass the bowl;
Pile the logs on the firel With a skoal, with a skoall
Pile the logs cm the firel
Fill the pipes, with a skoall
For the flre~gohbllns flicker on the ceiling,
And the wine-witches glitter in the glass,
And the smoke-wraiths are drifting, curling, reeling,
And the sleigh bells Jungle as they pass«
CHORUS*
Oh, a god is the firel Pull the pipes, drain the bowl;
Oh, a god is the firel With a skoal, with a skoall
Oh, a god — is the firel
Pull the pipes, with a skoall
For the room has a spirit in the embers;
fTis a god and our fathers knew his name,
And they worshipped him in long forgot Decembers,
And their hearts leaped high with the flame*
CHORUS*
Oh, tha tfffimm* thay rlda In aotor boats
The Ctiptaint ha ?i£*a in & fig
He donH get «fe«ni a goddaa, bit faster
But It nakas tha old baatmrt faal big,
Oh, t®^wm~m~t®^i»*mi too^rm^fagr
?o*»*i*#*, too~m***ap*wgr,
Ji# don1 t get theira a godkg«B bit faatar
»*t it mk*i th» «Xd tauiWrt faai big,
Oh, tfaa offiaara, they r*4e in* motor to&ta
fb* A<a$IraX riiaa in ft b&ff$
ia 4o»*t got ttwdra a goidto bit tartar
But it gi**# tfao old baatajpd * ofcftffa*
oh, tocKt%*tm*to0»fm*M,t tao*tt~:rtar •
Too******, too~TO~fm*fctyf
Bo, don* i gat th^re a goddam bit faster
But it gi^oa..t$« old.taitard a ehai^e«, '
03*, tlta offic^re tat in tba waxdrooe
fha Captain^ b# mta' til &3jdxj#"
tia toftHut *;$o$tei--ttfi bottai* -
But it «ak«gn b|i fool mm at bono*
0h9 tcN**m~fm^^^
Too«MMm#". tob^»^»^rijrf •
Ha dp&H.Mr- a. goddfaebit Jbattar ■.'
But it fmkm 'bSB IooOt mam *i hom##
0hf fe# offloarg alttp -in ttia stiitSwooit
flie Captain^ fco.aiaaf* to a bad
Ha dott* t jdlaap *-$»ddift bit battar /
It* • only 'tioai^ar ttoa tiend*
Oh, to<^rm*im*tAO«lv^3faf toanraHragr ^
Too*?*--*** -•too^jm^fm^f^y,'
ia - don1 t tl#ap a goddwi bit better
It18 'ca&ly oear«r tit® baad*
Oh, tba sawuAl llf* of « cuial.
1.8 graatta? than fttigroa* tltla3c#
Xa nci8Nmta of aa*»r*ntfi |«ksaio&
■ Ha1 a o»t taking Ixnm to th* Sphla**
Sifigittg* %ot^tiirT&t&o~vm~v*} %&c~m~>mf
?c<MN&~3ra, to«KHi«*T«i*r«y,
In'«o«H»nta of aBMKw* p**idoti
Ha** oat iR&kUig; lova tc-< th» Spfcins*
(OOKflHUS))
Wk
umm it mm ~mmm t** *iie,
Whlofc awarante for f$§ top on the Gai*l,
And th» Sffcim'a Jta»erti&i&« sail** ..
Staging, too-»-ra-too-r«*ftt» too-ra«»t»y
acoouuto for tb« inwp on the C«*elf
And the SpfedUaac's iascruUfcle aagjte*
Oh, h«r»* s to the
Her*' e to th« '"
H«r»* s to tlws
For b«Of of thee
.» of Sottthka»pfc<m,
that tbe$ rotat^
God bl*»o '«^ -
b» fc$y ova*
Meift's to th« children, Ocwi bl«a» »*%
For half of them «ight be ay own*
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3* l#a^ a idUto^tfela '%i«s#t «a* XHi not aek for «£&»• " • ?
;J%e/%tr«t that ;froa the Ufcml dotit t%»f§ doth aalt a .ttlak dJteUte
r^^r-jg&t X of Jo**'a neotar .mp$,:%'wB&& not change for t&Xatiu . •
-&&)&/ to" m» «afly:''aitli good has?d -0&9eavor *y#* «r ft Seotifc
hlgfe%i2Xr
Prink to--** iitt a^p old -tlUaff 'Jnet aa 'long! aa it'.o aX<eihoX« ■" . :■
-■
*T&* new tkm% tha wt/tk^hm^'-wom' tto:'diiy» and' p^hiblliim lo^tfeita,
"To dfrink. Pa ate only. *A1& ;t&liie: eyea* la. a bill "of a thing to" do*
fha girl tfcat X\aeahry'«tXl ha** to be,
A Smith Sea ''Xel$nd*r that eea- ski*
The glr^'X'oaXX.MQr. o««ir- .,
itairt iwar Ballya ..and- SpX$$iaiia
And- atoll of Bad Sohn* ■ .
Siia^H tew'boa to alaloit audita*'cfcrfetle*
A»d etibnea the aaasyon la 23t
. laetaad or eittl** aitfe bar teiftlm*
Bar hand aiil he ato# la a nittan.
And aa X ### her *» A-lNNuxtlfoX/^UUNr alto1 IX bo*
as
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106, mmfm
0hf it18 beer, beer, beer that makes you full of cheer,
On the farm, on the faxm,
Oh, it's beer, beer, beer ttfet makes you fall of cheer,
On the Leland Stanford junior farm.
CHQBUSs (After each verse)
My eyes are dim, I cabinet see*
I have not brought my specs with me,
I have (hey) not (Ho) brought my specs with me*
(Sing other verses same as first substituting the follovdng:)
Whiskey - that makes you feel so frisky
Vodka ~ that makes you feel so odka
Wine ~ that makes you wants shine
Vermouth - that makes you feel uncouth
Sherry - that makes you feel so merry
W* MH4I. THE COLLEGE WIDOW
Mimi, the college widow,
Pride of the University?
Mimi , the college widow,
Taught all the boys Anatomy;
Mimi, the college widow,
To know her is to love her, thatss sure,
She's such a honey, you forget she costs you money,
She*s Mimi, the college lure,
Kind, the college widow,
Pride of the University;
Mimi, the college widow,
Taught all the boys Anatomy;
aimi, the college widow,
To know her is to love her, tbatfs sure;
She laid the cornerstone to knowledge,
In fact, the whole damn collegev
That8 s Mimi, the college lure«
108/ THE CHANDLER'S WIFE
(Kelocfr: The Thing)
A man vent into a Chandler Shop, some matches for to buy
And when he got into the shop, nobody did he spy
And as he turned upon his heel and toward the door ha sped
Oh, he heard the sound of a Rat-a-tet-tat right above his head
Oil, he heard the sound of a Rat-a-tat-tat right above his head
Nov this young man was a bold young man, so up the stairs he sped
And very surprised nas he to see the Chandler1 s wife in bed
And with her was a nice young nan of a very considerable sixe
And they were having a Rat-a-t*utat right before his eyes
And they were having a Rat-a-tat-tat right before his eyes
When the fun was over and done, the maiden raised her head
And very surprised was she to find the young nan by her bed
If you will keep my secret, sir, if you will be so kind
lou can always stop in for a Rat~a»tat*tat whenever you feel inclined
Tou can always stop in for a Rat~a«»tat~tat whenever you feel inclined
Now married men take my advise, and when you go to town
Don't leave, your wife to do as she likes, but always tie her down
Tou nwBT may know what thoughts may lie deep down in her innocent mind
Oh, she may be having a Rat-a-tat-tat whenever she feels inclined
Oh, she may be having a Rat-a-tat-tat whenever she feels inclined
IOC. E-RI~B CANAL
We were forty miles from Albany, forget it I never shall,
What a terrible storm we had that night on the E-ri~e Canal
Oh, the E~ri-e was a-rlsing, ami the gin was getting low,
And I scarcely think we111 get a drink till we get to Buffalo,
Till we get to Buffalo. (Repeat after each verse)
We were loaded down with barley, we were chuck up full of rye,
And the captain, he looked down at me with his goddam wicked eye.
Our captain, he came up on deck, with a spy glass in his hand,
And the fog, it was so doggone thick that he couldn't spy the land.
Our cook, she was a grand olv gal, she had a ragged dress,
We hosted her upon the pole as a signal of distress.
Oh, the girls are in the Police Gazette, the crew ste all in jail,
I*m the only living sea cookfs son that's left to tell the tale.
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