Below is the raw OCR of The Unoffical (sic) College Song Book which, using internal evidence, comes from the University of Wisconsin. If you wish to verify the text, please download the PDF of the scanned pages.
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WIFFENPOOF SONG
From the tables down at Morey's to the
place where Louie dwells,
To the dear old Temple Bar we love so
well;
Sing the Wiffenpoofs assembled with
their glasses raised on high,
And the magic of their singing casts
a spell.
Yes, the magic of their singing all
the songs we love so well.
"Shall I Wasting" and11 Mavourneen" and
the rest.
We will serenade our Louie while life
and love shall last,
And we'll pass and be forgotten with
the rest.
We are poor little lambs who have lost
our way, baa, baa, baa.
We are little black sheep who have
gone astray, baa, baa, baa.
Gentlemen songsters off on a spree-
Damned from here to eternity.
God have mercy on such as we, baa, baa.
baa.
AN OLD BEER BOTTLE
It was only an old beer bottle,
Afloating o'er the foam.
It was only an old beer bottle
A million miles from home.
Inside was a piece of paper
These were written on,
" Whoever finds this bottle
Finds the beer all gone."
GOT ALONG WITHOUT YOU BEFORE
Got along without you before
I met you,
Gonna get along without you now.
Gonna find myself somebody new
Cuz I didn't love you anyhow.
You ran around with every
guy in town,
You'll never know just how
You let me down.
Got along without you before, baby
Gonna get along without you now.
Boom-boom, boom-boom,
Boom, boom, boom
Boom-boom, boom-boom,
Boom, boom boom
You ran around__(etc.)
DON'T SEND MY BOY TO HARVARD
Don't send my boy to Harvard,
The dying mother said.
Don't send my boy to Michigan,
I'd rather see him dead.
Send him down to Indiana,
'tis better than Cornell.
But rather than the U of M,
I'd see my boy...
In the evening by the moonlight
You can hear those darkies singin'
In the evening by the moonlight
You can hear those banjoes ringin'
How the old folks would enjoy it,
They would sit all night and listen,
As we sang in the evenin' by the...
Moonlight, rah-de-do-dah
In the evening, rah-de-do-dah. (etc.
DUM DUM DUMMY
I'll take the leg from some old table.
I'll take the arm from some old chair.
I'll take the neck from some old
bottle.
And from a horse I'll get some hair.
And then I'll put them all together
With the aid of paste and glue,
And I'll-get more neckin'
From that dum dum dummy,
Than I'll ever get from you.
Get out and walk.
THEY DRINK ROTTEN
Rotten beer parties and goshawful
booze,
These are the signs of the rotten
Sig Nus
Chorus.
Oh, they drink rotten, neck rotten,
rotten are they,
And rotten they'll be until
Judgment day.
Pet1 fume and powder and sissy bow
ties,
These are the signs of the rotten
Chi Phis.
Whiskey and gin and staggering steps
These are the signs of the rotten
Sig Eps.
I
SHE TOLD ME SO
My gal's a corker,
She's a New Yorker,
I buy her everything
To keep her in clothes.
And in my future life
She's going to be my wife.
How in the hell did you find that out?
She told me so.
My girl's from Vassar,
None can surpass her,
She is the stroke on
The varsity crew-
My girl's from Smith,
She talks like thith,
Thee taught me how to kith,
That's how I know-
My girl's from Holyoke,
She taught me how to smoke,
She knows a dirty joke,
I know one too-
My girl's from Bryn Mawr,
She flits from bar to bar,
She smokes big black cigars,
I smoke them too-
My girl's a Kappa,
She chews to bacca,
Sits by the fire and
Spits on the floor-
My girl's an Alph$ Xi,
She sits upon my knee,
Makes ardenfc love to me,
I love her so-
My girl's from Wisconsin,
She drinks Bock beer and gin,
She leads a life of sin,
I lead one too-
My girl's from 4Tosa,
Her name is Josa,
She necks much closa
Than all the other girls-
When she grows older
She will grow bolder,
She'll put her head
Upon my shoulder-
And when we marry,
We will not tarry,
Soon we'll be blessed with
Tom, Dick and Harry.
She's got a pair of lips
Just like two poker chips-
She's got a pair of eyes
Just like two rock and ryes-
She's got a pair of hips
Just like two battleships-
She's got a pair of legs
Just like two whiskey kegs-
She' got a pair of ears
Just like two five cent beers-
She's got a pair of eyes
Just like two lemon pies-
She's got a head of hair
Just like a grizzly bear-
She's got a pudgy nose
Just like a rubber hose-
She's got a pair of feet
Just like th- U. S. Fleet-
HER MOTHER NEVER TOLD HER
'Twas a cold winter's evening,
The guests were all leaving,
O'Leary was closing the bar,
When he turned and he said to the
lady in red,
"Get out! You can't stay where
you are, "
Oh, she wept a big tear
In her bucket of beer
As she thought of the cold night
ahead;
When a gentleman handsome
Peered over the transom
and this is the story he said:
" Her mother never told her
The things a young girl should know
About the ways of college men
And how they come and go.
Age has stolen her beauty,
Sin has left its scar.
Remember your sisters and mothers,
boys,
Let Nelly sleep under the bar."
2
THE SOUSE FAMILY HYMN
On the shores of Lake Mendota
Stands the great state U.
We have never had our quota
Of the liquor that is due.
Every evening you can find us
Waiting for a drink,
Lapping up all the highballs and
Yelling drink, drink, drink, drink,
Drank, drank, drank, drank,
Drunk, drunk, drunk, drunk,
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before
Gonna get drunk tonight
Like I never got drunk before,
For when I'm drunk I'm as happy
as can be,
For I am a member of the souse family.
Now the souse family is the best
family,
That ever came over from old
Germany,
There's the highland Dutch and the
Lowland Dutch,
The Rotterdam Dutch and the God
damn Dutch.
God made the Irish, He didn't make
much;
But a hell of a lot better than the
God damn Dutch.
Sing glorious, glorious,
One keg of beer for the four of us;
Sing glory be to God that there are
no more of us,
For the four of us can drink it all
alone, boom boom,
Goodbye, my Coney Island baby,
Farewell to thee, my own true love,
boom, boom, boom,
I'm going to sail away and leave you
Never to return, so you can have
the dishes, Mabel.
I'm going to sail away in an old
ferry boat,
Happy as the day is long.
So good-bye, so long, farewell
forever,
Goodbye, my Coney Island, I said my
Coney Island, I mean my Coney
Island baby.
THE DEACON WENT DOWN
Oh, the Deacon went down
In the cellar to pray,
But he got drunk
And he stayed all day.
Chorus.
Oh, I ain't agonna grieve my Lord
no more,
I ain't agonna grieve my Lord no
more,
I ain't agonna grieve my Lord no
more.
Oh, you can't get to heaven
On roller skates,
You'll roll right by,
Them Pearly gates-
Oh, you can't get*to heaven
In a rocking chair,
'Cause the Lord don't allow
No lazybones there-
Oh, you can't get to heaven
In a Ford V-8,
'Cause they don't sell gas
And you'll be late-
DRINK CHUGALUG
Here's to__----tried and true.
He's a drunkard through and through.
So fill 'em up again, boys,
Celebrate the day,
He might have gone to heaven,
But he went the other way.
So drink chugalug etc etc etc.
WE HAD SOME CHICKENS
We had some chickens,
No eggs did they lay,
We had some chickens,
No eggs did they lay.
My wife said, "Honey,
It's strikin' me funny,
We need some money,
No eggs do they lay. "
One day a rooster
Flew into our yard.
He cought those chickens
Right offa their guard,
THEY'RE LAYIN' EGGS NOW,
Just like they uster
Ever since that rooster
Flew into our yard,
THEY'RE LAYIN' EGGS NOW, (etc.)
3
HANNA, MY DELTA GAMMA
Oh-h-h Hanna, my Delta Gamma,
She's got legs like a baby grand
piana,
She's not so nifty, she weighs
Two-fifty,
But fat girls now and then are
cherished by the best of men.
Well, well, well Hanna.
My Delta Gamma.
I put my arms around as far as
they will go, go, go.
I don't care for the Alpha Phis,
I don't care for the KKG's,
Just give me Hanna, my Delta Gamma.
THE NIGHT THAT PADDY MURPHY DIED
The night that Paddy Murphy died
I never will forget.
The whole damn town got cockeyed
drunk,
And some ain't sober yet.
The one thing that they did that
night
That filled my heart with fear;
They took the ice right off the
corpse
And put it on the bier.
That's how they showed their res-
pect for Paddy Murphy.
That's how they showed their res-
pect when Paddy died.
That's how they showed their res-
pect for Paddy Murphy;
Respect for Paddy Murphy on the
night that Paddy died.
SALOON, SALOON, SALOON
Saloon, saloon, saloon,-
It runs through my head like a tune.
I can't stand cafe and I hate
cabaret,
But when you say saloon, all my
cares fade away.
For it brings back the fond
recollection
Of a little old low ceilinged
room-
Of a bar and a rail,
Of a dime and a pail-
Saloon, saloon, saloon.
A MAN WITHOUT A WOMAN
A man without a woman
Is like a ship without a sail,
Is like a boat without a rudder,
Is like a kite without a tail.
A man without a woman
Is like a wreck upon the sand
But if there's one thing worse
In this universe
It's a woman, I said a woman, I
Mean a woman without a man.
Oh, you can roll a silver dollar
Along the ground
And it'll roll, because its round.
A woman never know what a good
man she's got
Until she turns him down.
So listen my honey, listen to me,
I want you to understand,
Just as a silver dollar goes
from hand to hand
So a woman goes from man to man-
In a taxi-
A woman goes from man to man.
MMM AND A LITTLE BIT MORE
I want a red canoe,
M-m-m and a little bit more,
I want a big full moon,
M-m-m and a little bit more,
I want my very own girl,
And I'll not ask for more,
I'll have all that's comin' to me,
M-m-m and a little bit
M-m-m and a little bit
M-m-m and a little bit more.
I got my red canoe,
M-m-m and a little bit more,
I got my big full moon,
M-m-m and a little bit more,
I got my very own girl,
And I'll not ask for more,
I have all that's comin' to me,
M-m-m and a little bit
M-m-m and a little bit
M-m-m and a little bit more.
Underneath the bamboo,
Underneath the bamboo tree,
Room enough for you, my darling
Room enough for one, two, three, four,
And when we marry, happy we'll be,
Underneath the bamboo, bamboo,
Underneath the bamboo tree.
U
NOBODY KNEW THEY WERE TOERE
Oh, dear what can the matter be?
Four old ladies locked in the
lavat'ry,
They were there from Monday
till Saturday,
Nobody knew they were there.
(After every verse)
The first lady's name was
Elizabeth Porter,
She was the Bishop of Chester-
shire's daughter.
And she took three doses
To make her work shorter,
And nobody knew she was there.
The second lady's name was
Elizabeth Draper,
She got mixed up with a roll of
white paper,
But she didn't mind cause she
knew it was safer,
And nobody knew she was there.
The third lady's name was
Elizabeth Bender,
She went inside to repair a
suspender,
But she got mixed up with her
feminine gender,
And nobody knew she was there.
The fourth lady's name was
Elizabeth Humphrey.
She went inside, found it ever so
comfy,
But when she got up she could not
get her rump free,
And nobody knew she was there.
BILL GROGAN'S GOAT
Bill Grogan's goat was feeling fine,
Ate three red shirts from off the
line.
Bill took a stick, gave him a whack
And tied him to the railroad track.
The whistle blew, the train drew
nigh,
Bill Grogan's goat was doomed to die
He gave three groans of awful pain,
Coughed up those shirts and
Flagged the train.
BE KIND TO YOUR WEB-FOOTED FRIENDS
Be kind to your web-footed friends
For the duck may be somebody's
mother,
Be kind to the denizons of the
swamp,
When the weather is cold and damp.
You may think that this is the end.
Well, it is.
Be kind to the cop on the beat,
For the cop may be somebody's
brother,
Don't tease him about his flat feet.
TELL ME WHY
Tell me why the stars do shine.
Tell me why the ivy twines.
Tell me why the sky's so blue,
And I will tell you just why I
love you.
Because God made the stars to shine.
Because God made the ivy twine.
Because God made the sky so blue.
Because God made you, that's why
I love you.
I WANT A BEER
I want a beer just like the beer
That pickled my old man.
That was the beer and the only
beer
That daddy ever had.
A real old fashioned beer
With lots of foam-
It took nine guys to carry daddy
home.
I want a beer just like the beer
That pickled my old man.
TOE LADY IN RED
Oh, the lady in red
Makes her living on a bed.
Fifteen cents will do it nice,
Twenty-five cents will do it twice
And here I stand
With a nickel in my hand.
Brother-
Can you spare a dime?
5
DO LIKE I DO
I took my girl out walking late one
Saturday night,
I took my girl out walking, the moon
was shining bright;
I asked my girl to marry me, and what
do you think she said,
She said she wouldn't marry me if the
whole darn world was dead.
That's why I do like I do like I do
like I do like I do like I do like
I do
Do like I do like I do like I do like
I do like I do like I do.
That's why I do like I do like I do
like I do like I do like I do like
I do
Do like I do like I do like I do like
I do like I do like I do.
I took my girl to the Cuba Club late
one Saturday night,
I took my girl to the Cuba Club, the
moon was shining bright.
I asked my girl would she have a beer
and what do you think she said?
She said she wouldn't have a beer-
she'd have a scotch instead.
That's why I beer like I beer like I
beer like I beer etc.
Last night I went to see her, as happy
as could be;
To night she's out with another, she
cares no more for me.
So here's to a bottle of whiskey, so
sparkling and so clear,
Not half so sweet as a young girl's
kiss, but a damn sight more sincere.
That's why I do like I do like I do
like I do etc.
I WEAR MY PINK PAJAMAS
I wear my pink pajamas in the summer
when its hot,
And I wear my woolen nighty in the
winter when its not.
And sometimes in the springtime and
sometimes in the fall
I jump right in between the sheets with
nothing on at all.
Glory, glory to the springtime and
the fall (twice more)
When I jump right in between the sheets
with nothing on at all.
FAR AWAY
On her leg she wore a purple garter,
She wore it in the springtime,
In the merry month of May.
And if you ask her why the hell she
wears it-
She wears it for her lover
Who is far far away.
Chorus.
Far away, far away,
Oh, she wears it for her lover
Who is far far away.
In her hair she wore a yellow
ribbon
She wore it in the springtime
In the merry month of May.
And if you ask her why the hell
she wears it,
She wears it for her lover
Who is far far away.
Chorus.
Behind the door her pappy kept a
shotgun,
He kept it in the springtime
In the merry month of May.
And if you ask him why the hell
he keeps it,
He keeps it for her lover
Who is far far away.
And in the drawer the sheriff kept
a warrant,
He kept it in the springtime
In the merry month of May.
And if you ask him why the hell
he keeps it,
He keeps it for her lover
Who is far far away.
Around the block she pushed a
baby carriage,
She pushed it in the springtime
In the merry month of May.
And if you ask her why the hell
she pushed it.
She pushed it for her lover
Who is far far away.
I USED TO CHASE THE GIRLS AROUND
I used to chase the girls around,
But now I'm quite contrary,
Cause now I chase the boys around
Whoops, I'm a fairy.
6
THE SALVATION ARMY MARCH
Lyin' in the gutter
Covered all over with beer,
Pretzels in my whiskers,
I thought the end was near,
When along came the glorious army
And saved me from the hearse,
And we all burst a gut
And sang another verse,
Salvation Army, Salvation Army
Put a nickel in the drum
Save another drunken bum.
Salvation Army, Salvation Army,
Put a nickel in the drum and save
a soul.
I SAVED A SOUL!
MY GOD HOW THE MONEY ROLLS IN
My mother sells snow to the snow-
birds,
My father makes synthetic gin,
My sister makes love for a living,
My God, how the money rolls in!
My brother's a young missionary,
He saves little girlies from sin.
He'll save you a blonde for five
dollars,
My God, how the money rolls in.
I took some snow from my mother,
My mother drank father's pure gin,
My brother's in love with my sister
My God, what a mess we are in!
MY SWEET LITTLE NIGHTIE OF BLUE
In my sweet little nightie of blue,
The first night that I slept with you
I was both scared and red
As I gazed at the bed,
I forgot ever word that my dear
mother said.
By the look in your eye I could tell,
But I said to myself, " What the
hell'"
I'll always adore it,
But damn it, you tore it,
My sweet little nightie of blue.
POOR LIL
Her name was Lil, she was a beauty,
She lived in a house of ill reputee.
The men all came from far away
Just to see Lil flounce her
negligee.
Chorus.
Poor Lil, boompi de a da de a da de a
repeat three times more.
Day by day poor Lil grew thinner,
On account of the lack of
vitamins in her.
They started giving her Fleisch-
man's yeast,
But still her clientele did decrease
Poor Lil, she lay on a bed of
dishonor,
She felt the hands of the Lord
upon her.
She said, ''Dear Lord, I do repent,
But this is going to cost you
just seventy-five cents.''
Chorus.
SLEW FOOT SUE
There was a gal named Slew Foot
Sue,
She was a colored lady, too.
She was the chief engineer
At the shirt-tail factory
Down by the river Sioux.
A form was all she had.
She had a face like a soft shell
crab.
And every night she had a tussle
With the buttons on her bustle-
My God, that gal was bad.
That's where my money goes,
To buy my baby clothes,
I buy her everything to keep
her in style.
She's worth her weight in gold,
My coal black baby
Say, boys that's where my money
goes.
8
MARY ANN McCARTY
Oh, Mary Ann McCarty she went out to
dig some clams,
Oh, Mary Ann McCarty she went out to
dig some clams,
Oh, Mary Ann McCarty she went out to
dig some clams,
But she didn't get a___ ____clam.
Chorus.
All she ever got was ersters
All she ever got was ersters
All she ever got was ersters
And she didn't get a________clam.
Oh, she dug up all the mud there was
in San Francisco Bay
(Repeat twice)
But she didn't get a________clam.
Chorus.
Oh, she went to all parties that
the Figis ever gave
(Repeat twice)
But she didn't get a____ ____clam.
All she ever got was trench mouth
All she ever got was trench mouth
All she ever got was trench mouth
And she didn't get a________clam.
MINNIE THE MERMAID
Many's the night I spent with Minnie
thf; Mermaid,
Down on the bottom of the sea.
Down among the corale she forgot her
morals-
Gee, but she was good to me.
Many's the night with the pale moon
shining
Down in a bungalow.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust-
Two twin beds and only one of them
mussed.
Now you can easily see she's not my
mother
'Cause my mother's forty-nine.
And you can easily see she's not my
sister,
'Cause I'd never show my sister such
a helluva good time.
And you can easily see she's not my
sweety,
'Cause my sweetie's too refined.
She's just a slip of a kid
Who didn't know what she did.
She's just a personal friend of mine.
RAGGED BUT RIGHT
I just called up to tell you
That I'm ragged but right.
A thievin' and a gamblin' woman,
Drunk every night, oh-h-h
Porter-house steak
Three times a day for my board-
More than any self-respectin-
Gal can afford,
I've got a big 'lectric fan
To keep me cool while I sleep,
A big handsome man
To play around at my feet.
I'm a ramblin' woman, a gamblin'
woman,
And gee, but I'm tight,
I just called up to tell you
That I'm ragged but right.
We're not the brown-skinned lassies
Boys, but what do you care?
We've got the well known chassis
With the do or die air.
We've got the hips that sank the
ships
Of England, France and Peru.
And if you're like Napoleon
Its your Waterloo.
I'd like to take an intermission
In your V-8.
I'd like to take it later
But I've got a late date.
My motto has always been " gone
with the wind"
So let's breeze it tonight.
I just called up to tell you
That I'miragged but right.
A great big handsome man
Just left me flat on the floor,
I loved him all my life,
Now he couldn't ask for more.
He took my last quarter
To buy him a drink,
And when he took me home last
night,
Now what do you think?
Go home to your mother
And kiss her for me,
I'm a travel in'man
And I want to be free;
I'm a ramblin' woman, a gamblin'
Woman,
And gee but I'm tight,
I just called up to tell you
That I'm ragged but right.
9
MIMI, THE COLLEGE WIDOW
Mimi the college widow, Queen of the
University,
Mimi the college widow, taught all
the boys anatomy, wow, wow-
Mimi the college widow, to know her
is to love her, that is sure.
She really is a honey, but she will
cost you money,
That's Mimi the college lure.
High above Cayuga's waters, there's a
place known as Cornell,
Mimi met a football hero., shot the
team to hell.
She met a rambling wreck from Georgia
Tech, and a helluva engineer.
Something of a architect, he left
his footprint here, where?
Here, Where?
At Wisconsin, at Wisconsin, Mimi met
an all-American.
Flashed her signal, showed her colors,
Landed on her end U Rah Rah.
Now Mimi got a letter and was proud
as she could be.
When asked if she was on the team,
"Hell, no, the whole damn team's
on me! "
Mimi the college widow, queen of the
University. •
Mimi the college widow, taught all
the boys anatomy, wow, wow,
Mimi the college widow, to know her
is to love her, that is sure.
That's Mimi the college lure.
TOE PIG GOT UP AND SLOWLY WALKED AWAY
It was early in September,
Oh how well I do remember,
I was walking down the street in
drunken pride,
When my feet began to stutter
So I lay down in the gutter
And a pig came up and lay down
by my side.
As I lay there in the gutter,
Oh, my heart was all a flutter,
And a lady passing by was heard to say,
" You can tell a man who boozes
By the company he chooses'.'
And the pig got up and slowly
walked away.
BELL BOTTOM TROUSERS
I was a maiden in Drury Lane,
My master was so kind to me,
My mistress was the same.
Along came a sailor,
As bold as bold can be,
He is the cause of all my misery.
Chorus.
Bell bottom tousers,
Coat of navy blue,
Let him climb the rigging
Like his daddy used to do.
He asked me for a candle
To light his way to bed;
He asked me for a pillow
To rest his weary head.
And I, like a foolish maid,
Thinking it no harm,
Jumped into the sailor's bed
To keep the sailor warm.
He left me in the morning
Just at break of day.
He handed me a five pound note,
And unto me did say:
"If it is a daughter
Bounce her on your knee,
And if it is a son,
Send the bastard out to sea."
Now the moral of this story is,
As plain as plain can be,
Don't ever trust a sailor
An inch above your knee.
I WANT A MAN
I want a man, I want a man,
I want a mansion in the sky.
I feel like hell, I feel like hell,
I feel like helpin' some poor guy.
And when the dam, dam, dam, dam,
damage is done,
I'11.have had my share of fun.
I'll have my child, I'll have
my child,
I'll have my childish notions done.
I wanta pet, I wanta pet
I wanta Petty book of girls.
I wanta neck, I wanta neck,
I want a necklace made of pearls.
And when the dam, dam, dam, dam,
damage is done,
I'll have had my share of fun.
I'll have my child,\
I'll have my child,
I'll have my childish notions done.
10
I USED TO WORK IN CHICAGO
I use to work in Chicago,
I worked in a department store,
I used to work in Chicago,
I did but I don't any more.
A lady came in and asked for some
candy,
I asked her what kind she'd adore,
Kisses, she said, so kiss her I did,
I'm not working there any more.
A lady came in and asked for some
gloves,
I asked her what kind she'd adore,
Kid, she said, so kid her I did,
I'm not working there anymore.
A lady came in and asked for a hat
I asked her what kind she'd adore.
Felt, she said, and felt she got,
I'm not working there anymore.
A lady came in and asked for a lamp
I asked her what kind she'd adore
Floor, she said, and floored she got
I'm not working there anymore.
A lady came in and asked for some
milk,
I asked her what kind she'd adore.
Pet, she said, and petted she got,
I'm not working there anymore
A lady came in and asked for some
gloves,
I asked her what kind she'd adore,
Rubber she said, so rub 'er I did,
I'm not working there anymore.
A lady came in and asked for some
poultry,
I asked her what kind she'd adore.
Goose, she said, and goosed she got
I'm not working there any more.
A lady came in and asked for some
cake,
I asked her what kind she'd adore.
Layer, she said, so lay 'er I did
I'm not working there any more.
A lady came in and asked for a
sword,
I asked her what kind she'd adore.
Rapier, she said, so rape 'er I did
I'm not working there anymore.
ROLL YOUR LEG OVER
I wish little girls were like
Little brown deer,
And I were a buck
I'd teach them to drink beer.
Oh, roll your leg over
Oh, roll your leg over
Oh, roll your leg over the man
in the moon.
I wish little girls were like
Little round turtles
And I were a turtle
I'd snap all their girdles
I wish little girls were like
Fish in the ocean
And I were a fish
I would set them in motion-
I wish little girls were like
Little brown mousies
And I were a rat
I would peek in their blousies-
I wish little girls were like
Little white rabbits
And I were a rabbit
I'd teach them bad habits-
I wish little girls were
All stacked like Jane Russell
And I were E. Flynn
I would rustle their bustles-
I wish little girls were like
Cows in a pasture
And I were a bull
I would make them run faster-
DON'T LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART
Don't let me call you sweetheart,
I don't love you anymore.
Since I caught you necking
With the girl next door.
I have found another
Who will do just as well.
Dearest darling sweetheart
You can go to hell.
II
ON THE STEPS OF PHI U
On the steps of Psi U, crying like
hell;
Lies a new born baby, hear that---
son of a---, --.-- yell.
Who can be his father, maybe it's you.
Just another --- son of old Psi Upsilon
On bended knee will tip her hat to DKE,
And DKE will turn about and tip her hat
to Alpha Delt,
And Alpha Delt before she dies will tip
her hat to old Phi Psi
But ne'er a Phi will bend a knee
to any damn fraternity.
THE HAPPY LAND
Oh! I wish I were in the happy land,
Where little gin rickies grow.
Where the little gin fizzes on trees
And high balls roll on the ground.
What! The high balls roll on the ground.
Sure the high balls roll on the ground.
(Repeat half step higher)
SHORES OF OLD MENDOTA
Let's get dirty with Gamma Phi Gertie,
Oh! I haven't had my sex in a week.
Boom Boom
On the shores of old Mendota where the
Kappa's get their quota,
You can hear those rumble seats Squeck,
Squeck, Squeck, etc.
LEPROSY
Leprosy! My God, I've got Leprosy.
There goes my fingernail into my
gingerale.
(Repeat first line)
There goes my chin into my gin.
There goes my ear into my beer.
There goes my thumb into my rum.
There goes my eyeball into my highball.
(Make up your own!)
SWEETHEART
Let me call you Sweetheart
I'm in love with your limousine
Let me hear you wisper that you will
buy all the gasoline.
Keep the headlights burning and two
hands on the steering wheel.
Let me call you Sweetheart
I'm in love with your automobile.
Beep--Beep.
Oh, the student's life
Is a life of care
Care, care, dull, dull care
But what the heck do we care?
12
52 INFAMOUS TITLES
page one
Wiffenpoof Song
An Old Beer Bottle
Got Along Without You Before
Don't Send My Boy To Harvard
Dum Dum Dummy
They Drink Rotten
page two
She Told He So
Her Hot her Never Told Her
page three
The Souse Family Hymn
The Deacon Went Down
Drink Chug a lug
We Had Some Chickens
page four
Hanna, My Delta Gamma
The Night That Paddy Murphy Died
Saloon, Saloon, Saloon
A Man Without A Woman
M-M-M-M And A Little Bit More
page five
Nobody Knew They Were There
Bill Grogan's Goat
Be Kind To Your Web-Footed Friends
Tell He Why
I Want A Beer
The Lady In Red
page six
Do Like I Do
I Wear My Pink Pajamas
Far Away
I Used To Chase The Girls Around
page seven
The Persian Kitty
The Sweetheart Of Six Other Guys
Drink To Me Only
While The Organ Peeled Potatoes
Violate Time
page eight
The Salvation Army March
My God How The Money Rolls In
My Sweet Little Nightie Of Blue
Poor Li I
Slew Foot Sue
page nine
Mary Ann McCarty
Minnie The Mermaid
Ragged But Right
page ten
Mi mi, The College Widow
The Pig Got Up And Slowly Walked Away
Bell Bottom Trousers
I Want A Man
page eleven
/ Used To Work In Chicago
Rol I Your Leg Over
Don't Let Me Call You Sweetheart
page twelve
On The Steps Of Psi U
The Happy Land
Shores Of Old Mendota
Leprosy
Sweetheart
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