The manuscript below was discovered 21 February 1996., author, handwriting unknown in the papers of female civilian mathematician, U. S. Army,, Aberdeen Proving Ground, Maryland, vintage 1942-52. If you wish to verify the text below, please download the PDF of the scanned pages.
Are you getting your share?
The 1940 census reveals that there are 130,000,000 people
in the U. S.,
of which l/2 are females. Of this number 3/8 are married.
The average length of the menstruation period is 5 days out
of 30,
which means that l/6 of the 24,000,000 are out of service, but
marriage statistics prove that at least l/2 of the married
people
have the sexual act during this period, notwithstanding the
temp-
orary inconveniences. This eliminates l/l2, or 2,025,000.
Next, assuming approximately 1/4 of this amount "just aren't
in the
mood tonight, " we subtract 5,560,000. Thus there are 16,706,000
women who will receive the joy stick or love muscle tonight.
The average length of the male penis during erection is 5. "
The
length of the stroke is 4. " While exhaustive studies have been
made, married men agree that about 75 strokes are necessary to
culminate the act.
Multiply 4X75 indicates 300 inches are inserted in the
vaginal
track during the act. And multiplying 300X16,706,000 gives us
5,001,800,000 inches inserted during the 24 hour period.
Divide
this amount by 63,000 (the number of inches in a mile) gives
us 79,000 miles of penis that are being inserted during the 24
hour period.
79,000 miles divided by 24 hours gives us the miles per
hour, or
rate of insertion. 79,000 divided by 24 equals 3,295 miles per
hour.
In other words, here are the testicle facts for you to ponder- -
-
nearly 3,300 miles of penis are slipping in and out every hour.
Now I ask you—. Are you getting your 'share? -