Below is the raw OCR output of 7440th Combat Song Book Incirlik AB, Turkey 17 Jan-28 Feb 1991. If you wish to verify the text, please download the PDF of the scanned pages.
7440TH COMBAT
SONG BOOK
1NCIRLIK AB, TURKEY
17 JAN - 28 FEB 1991
23TFS, 38TRS, 525TFS, 32TFG, 612TFS, 79TFS, 55TFS,
42ECS, 43ECS, 192SOG, 804ARW, 7SOS, 21SOS, 67SOS,
552AWACW
The Saga Of PROVEN FORCE by ORCA (sung to the tune of John Brown's Body)
The summer of ninety ended like so many had before
We dreamed of high per diem as we fought a low threat war
Tactics was a whimper while the training squares would roar
But there ain't no beans no more....
(CHORUS)
Glory, glory we have finally got a war
Glory, Glory it was all we asked and more
Saddam is just a pussy and his mother is a whore
And there ain't no beans no more
We loaded up the Viper's with two Ions of falling death
Strapped missiles on the Eagles, put their radars to the test
Put HARMS up on the Rhinos, and wished them all the best
Cause there ain't no beans no more
(CHORUS)
We launched so tunny fighters that the sky was black with jets
The Frisbces and the tankers all paid off their peacetime debts
The crew chiefs cheered and shouted as the Colonels placed their bets
But there ain't no beans no more
(CHORUS)
The Raven boys were heroes as they threw their TRONs around
SAM's began a flyin' so we called the Weasels down
Radars were exploding with each MAGNUM they would pound
And there ain't no beans no more
(CHORUS)
The Varks killed them in Kirkuk and we blasted Mosul town
If they launched a couple fighters we would shoot a couple down
Then we'd head off to the O'Club and we'd drink another round
Cause there ain't no beans no more
(CHORUS)
STANDARDIZED BREVITY CODES
We are sorely lacking in standardized brevity codes to be
used when TDY to an alien O'Club. The following concise and
standardized, transmissions will be used by all fighter jocks
when maneuvering south of the brass foot rail:
AUTONOMOUS INTERCEPT..Rolling in on a chick while wearing a
TDY nametag.
BINGO.................Your beer is empty.
BREAK.................Aggressive maneuver to be used when
you've got a pig at 6 and closing.
.BANDIT.................Unescorted female.
BUGOUT.............. . .Last ditch maneuver to be used if the
BREAK was unsuccessful.
BULLSEYE..............The only female at the Incirlik bar.
CHEAP SHOT............A glass of 01' Redeye on the rocks.
CHECK FUEL............Shake your beer can, say status.
CONTACT...............She gazes up into your glazed eyes.
CONTACT LOST..........You breathed on her.
CORNER VELOCITY.......The maximum speed at which you can
run 'em without your wife finding out.
ENGAGED...............What she thinks she is if you give her
your squadron patch.
FOX I.................The first good looking female at the
bar.
FOX II................The second good looking female at the
bar .
FOX III...............N/A at active units.
GRAPE.................A blind, deaf 82 year old paraplegic
who's hot to trot.
IN....................Engaged fighter jock in hot pursuit;
implies that free fighter jock either
support or get the hell out of the way.
JINKOUT...............Required maneuver when spouse sneaks
into deep 6 unobserved.
KNOCK IT OFF..........Call made by BANDIT when she thinks the
engagement has gone far enough. COMM
OUT signal is a well placed knee.
SHACK.................Result of a well placed knee.
ON THE DECK...........Crawling up to the barstool .
ON TOP................One of two choices a BANDIT has for
terminating an engagement.
PIREP.................A lie just told in the bar by the
jock most recently RTB'd from TDY.
REATTACK..............When you are unsuccessful on your
first attack and there's nothing
better in sight.
SCISSORS..............A series of quick, clever statements
designed to negate the BANDIT's
defensive maneuvering.
SNAP SHOT. . . . ........."Hi, I fly jets. How do you like me
so far?" (Often followed by a KNOCK
IT OFF).
ZIPPER................A major defensive threat to an
inebriated fighter jock. Can be
overcome with a cooperative BANDIT,
or by rTpping and tearing.
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WAR
I don't want to Join the Air Force
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around Picadilly Underground
living off the earnings of a high class lady
I don't want an aphid up the asshole
I don't want my body shot away
I'd rather stay in England
In merry merry England
and fornicate my fucking life away -oh blimey
On Monday I touched her on the ankle
On Tuesday I touched her on the knee
On Wednesday I confess I lifted up her dress
On Thursday I just masturbated
On Friday I put my hand upon it
On Saturday she gave my balls a tweak -tweak,tweak
And on Sunday after supper
I rammed my bugger up her
And now I get it seven days a week -oh blimey
chorus:
I don't want to go to Saudi
I don't want to go to Daharan
I'd rather cop a feel down at the Wagon Wheel
Getting really loaded on cold draft beer
I don't mind fighting the Iraqis
I don't even mind a little flack -flack,flack
But when I fly my sorties
Down through Happy Fucking Valley
I'd rather have a beer when I get back -Budwisei*
Monday we're drinking at King Oeorgs's
Tuesday we're sipping at the Palms
Wednesday if we feel we're at the Wagon Wheel
Thursday we just get drunk at home
On Friday we're pounding at the O'club
On Saturdays its Martinis by the pool
But on Sundays we will render
with Tequila and a blender
Margaritas that could kill a fucking mule -Joe Cuervo
chorus
MOSUL HOHDM (to tht tune of 'Hinic ttontoy')
• i
Six -q'clock ;:ulu, I wa* just in the middle of .ny pass,
I was; droppin bombs in Mosul., trying hard not to bust my ass,
But 1 can't be high, cause then I won't sefe the ragheads run,
Thesd are the days when the MosuIit.es aren't having much fun,
It's just another Mosul Monday,
Wish it was Sunday, cause that's Key West Day,
Our bombs and brunch day, it's just another Mosul Monday.
Have to catch the early tank, got to hit the border by noon
And if I wait fqr MAGIC, I sure wouldn't get #there too soon,
Caus^ it takes then so long just to figure .out the primary freq.
Blam# it on the frag, but the package gets the Mozam-beak.
Just another Mosul Monday,
Wish it was Sunday, cause that's our Brunch Day,
Hot much triple A, it's just another Mosul. Monday...
All of our jets, why did I have to. pick the DBAL queen to-fly,
Doesn't matter that I'm just a lieutenant with my hair on fire,
TC tcf 11 is me in his-pissed off voice, come on Wretch, let's go woodshed.
victor.
War, it ywa so fast, when you're dropping bombs,
Just another Mosul Monday, .
'••'.ish it ••'.:■ t, Sunday, cautw that's our Brunch Day,
Yhe iraahsaJs better run away, it's just another Mosul Monday.
Wish it was Sunday, cause that's Key West Day,
It's just another Mosul Monday...........,
DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY
When you go to Iraq,
You will see lots of flak.
Chorus:
Don't worry
Be happy
When you go to Happy Valley,
Make sure you don't dilly dally.
Chorus
When you go to sweet Mosul,
You'll see a little of Danti's Hell.
Chorus
Erbil's not the place to be,
Cause they always shoot at me.
Chorus
When you bomb old Kirkuk,
You better make sure your burners cook.
Chorus
We dropped some bombs on old Baji,
It now ceases to be the biggest refinery.
Chorus
I took a trip to Baghdad,
Felt a little like I've been had.
Chorus
PERSIAN GULF
(Beverly Hillbillies)
Come and listen to my story
About a man named Achmed.
A poor raghead,
Bar££y kept his family fed.
Then one day he was plowing the plains,
And up from the slime
Came a man named Hussein.
Saddam, that is - Real Asshole!
Crazy man I
Well, the first thing you know,
Ourjets are overthere.
Georgy says,
"Lets get'em from the air!"
He says "The Persian Gulf
Is the place you oughtta be!"
So we loaded up the jets,
And we went to TajiI
Baghdad that is - Nothing left!
Lots of triple A - but what the hell!
(As applied to the 23rd TFS Wild Weasels)
Cess and Hooman were iiiiBill......wl>......nil, they used to fly the; F-4
They flew weasel flights out of Xnciriik, and they flew many
missions down south
They were regular fellows,
But somewhere they* went-/wrong (chorus)
The guys in the squadron watched closely, how they held handq
round the Q
;
But nobody took an exception, 'till Mooman bought a pink
fiightsuit
(Chorus)
The group commander said "hold it", something queer going on
around here
But they said they were just good buddies, that's why thoy
drank with two straws from one beer
'
(Chorus)
Our heros walked out to their Phantom, the troops gave them
hollers' and hoots
Cause they carried their maps in their pocket books and wort
high heeled jungle boots
They had rhinestone helmets,
Yea, we know they went wrong
Our heros climbed up in their Phantom, threw their
pocketbooks in the backseat
Buckled up in the front together, singing gayly ain't this
sweet
Blew a kiss to the crew chief,
And blasted into the air
They, flew south just north of Kirkuk, the flak and triple A.
ft was fierce
They got hit over Happy Valley, and hit Van Lake blowin! in
each others ears
Now you can still see the bubbles,
And it's been nearly a year
Now they were good clean fighter jockeys, but the pressure
must have gotten to them
Don't go the same way brother, keep your back seater at arms
length
(Chorus)
mm mom
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Telegram Man.
A telegram for me?
Yes Ma'am*
Can you sing it?
No, I don't sing telegrams.
Oh please, I've never received a Hinging telegram.
Ma'am you really don't want me to sing this telegram.
Oh please, I'll give you a big tip.
Okay.....
Dear Mom t your son is dead, h® bought the farm today,
He crashed his OV-10 on Ho Chi Minn's Highway,
It was a rocket pass , and then he busted his ass
mmm, mmm, mmmm.
He went across the fence to see what he could see,
And there it was, Just as plain as it could be,
There was a truck on the road, with a big heavy load,
mmm, mmm, mnimm.
He got right on the horn, and gave the DASC a call,
"Send me some air, for I've got a truck that's stalled."
And Bowlegs said, "That's all right, I'll send you ( ) flight.
For I am the power."
The fighters checked right in, gunfighters two by two,
Low on gas and tanker overdue.
They asked the FAC to mark, just where that truck was parked.
mmm, mmm, mmmm.
The Bronc, he rolled right in, with his smoke to mark,
exactly where that fucking truck was parked,
And the rest is in doubt, because, he never pulled out.
mmm, mmm, mmmm.
This time with reverence.
Dear Mom you son is dead, he bought the farm today,
He crashed his OV-10 on Ho Chi Minh's Highway.
He made a rocket pass, and then he busted his ass.
HIM, HIM, FUCK HIM!
How did he go? STRAIGHT INI
What was he doing? THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE!
Hell of a deal...
Cock sucker motherfucker, eat a bag of shit!
Cunt hair, douche bag, bite your mother's tit!
We're the best Combat Wing, all the others suck I
Norhtern Front, Northern Front, rah, rah, fuck!
TnE FIREMAN
My fnth««r is ft fireman.•• He puts owt firea.
Hy brotSier is a firewnn, too...He puts out firen.
My Bister SaJ is a fireman** gal...She pstta out, t«««
(without her pants on)
I LOVE MT WIPE
] !ov^ my wife, y*»s I do, yea 1 do, I love her truly,
I lovf^ i ho hole...that she piaaea through.
I love her ruby red 1ipaf and her lily white tits.
and the hair around h»»r aaehole.
I * d nnt hf»r nli i t , gobble gobble chomp choap, with a rvxty apoon
(with a rusty npoon).
I FUCKED A DEAD WHORE BY THE ROADSIDE
I fucked a dead whore by the roadside,
I knew riRht away she waa dead.
The skin was all gone from her tummy.
The hair.-xas all • gone **T:t"oio "her* "head.
And as I lay down beside her,
I knew I'd committed a sin.
So I pr«Bsed my lips to her sweet pussy,
And socked out the wad I*d shot in.
Sucked out, sucked out,
1 aucked out the wnH T 'd ahot in.
BEASTIALITY
Chorus:
Beaatiality's great, mate, benstia 1ity*s great! (fuck * wallaby!)
Beasti»1ity ' r great, mate, beastia 1ity ' s greatl
Let me tell ya 'bout itl
Shove your log in a dog, mate! Shove your dog in a log!
Shove your log in a dog, mate! Shove your dog in a log!
Let me tell ya 'bout it!
(Chorus)
In the twit of t cat, mtel...
Sixty-nine wJth a porcupine...
Use your tool in a mule? mate!,..
Go fuck a duck, mate!...
Shoot your load in a toad, mate!...
A piece of tail from a baby whale...
Stick your tool up a kangaroo...
THE BALLS OF G'LEAKEY
The ballet of O'Learey are wrinkled and hairy
They're shapely and stately, like the dome of St. Paul
The women all muster to see that great cluster
Oh, they stand and they stare at the bloody red pair
of O'Learey's balls
ADELINE SCHMIDT
There once was a lady named Adeline Schmidt
Who went to the doctor cause she could not shit.
He gave her some medicine all wrapped up in glass
And up went the window and out went her aasi
Chorus:
It was brown, brown shit all around.
It was brown, brown shit all around.
It was brown, brown shit all around.
The whole world was covered with Shit, Shit, Shit, Shitl
A handsome young copper was walking his beat,
And happened to be on that side of the street.
He looked up sp handsome he looked up so shy,
And a big shit hit him right in the eye I
WILD WEASELS
We are dirty bastards
Skum of the earth
Filth of creation
Mother fuckin son of a bitchin fornicators
Known in every whore house
Smoke, drink and screw
We are the Wild Weasels
so fuck you
Pour and twenty virgins came down froai Inverness,
And when the ball Mas over, there war* four and twenty lass!
Chorus:
Singin* balls to your partner, ass againat the wall,
If you've never baan laid on a Saturday night,
You've mrtr been laid it all.
Tha village parson, ha was there, Drasaed up In hia shroud,
Swingin' front tha chandelier, and plasln* on tha crowd.
(Chorus)
Tha parson's wife, aha was-there, Keepln* '•» all in fits,
Jumpln" off tha mantlepieee, and.bouncing off har tlta.
(Chorus)
Tha village whore, aha waa there, A aittia' on tha floor*
And every time she spread har laga tha suction closest the door.
(Chorus)
Tha bride was in the kitchen, explainln' to tha grooa,
Tha vagina, not the rectus, is the entrance to tha womb.
(Chorus)
Tha ireoa «ai in tha bedroom, explainin' to tha bride,
That tht pnia, not tha icrotua, is tha pert that goon inside.
(Chorus)
First l®dj forward, and the saoond lady back,
Tha third lady's finger up the fourth, lady *g eraafe.
(Chorus)
The village cripple, he was there, but he eould not do much,
He llnwd thesi up againat the well and fucked 'em with his eruteh.
(Chorua)
Tha village idiot, he was thare, and in the corner he eat,
Amusin' himself and abusin* hlsiself, and catchin' it in hia hat.
(Chorus)
Little Johnny, he wea there, actin' quite the fool,
Puiiin' his foreakin over his head, and whistlln' through his
toolc (Chorus)
Oh, little Tommy, he waa there, he wes only eight,
He wis too young to join the fun, ao he had to maaturbata.
(Chorus)
*There was friegiii* in th» hallway, and friggin' on the staira,
You couldn't s<ia the carpet for the aaes of curly hairs.
(Chorus)
The village cobbler, he was there, with his hammer and hia awls,
Ashling all the ladies with the greet site of his bails.
(Chorus)
There was friggin' in the hayloft, friggln' in the rick«,
You couldn t hear the Kuiic for the awishin* of the pricks.
(Chorus)
(Mandatory last verse)
And whin tha bell was over, all thst you could see,
Mag.iour and twenty, .maidens,: hangln' from a tree 1
Balls to your partner, a$jg against the wall,
If you've never been laid ®m a Saturdsf relight, you've never
bee® laid at ail.
BEER. BEER. BEER. BEER
Chorus:
Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer,
Beer, Beer, Beer, Beer,
Drunk last night, drunk the night before.
Gonna get drunk tonight like I've never been drunk before!
'Cause when I'm drunk, I'm as happy as can be, 'cause we're
all port of the Pulldog Family.
Oh, the Bulldog family, is ths best family, that ever cast over
from old Germany.
There's the Highland Bulldogs, and the Lowland Bulldogs,
The Amsterdam Bulldogs, and the other damned Bulldogs!
Sing glorious, victorious! One keg of beer for the four of us!
Singing glory be to ~*d that there are no morn of us,
'Cause one of us .-a*, drink It all alone™
ftamir-"n«ar, pits th« "bt«r, to"t«ir, ofc'nrhe squadron.
Oh, there are no fighter pilots in the States (in the States),
Oh, there are no fighter pilots in the States (in the States),
Oh, they're all on foreign shores, makin' mothers outta whores,
Oh, there are no fighter pilots in the States!
(Chorus)
You can tell a navigator by his ass (by his ass),
You can tell a navigator by his ass (by his ass),
Oh, it's forty inches wide, uettln' wider every ride,
You can tell a navigator by his ass!
(Chorus)
A bomber pilot's life is but a farce,
A bomber pilot's life is but a farce,
With the autopilot on, readin' Playboys on the John,
A bomber pilot's life is but a farce!
(Chorus)
There are no fighter pilots down in holl,
There are no fighter pilots down in hell,
The place is full of queers, navigators, bombadiers.
There are no fighter pilots down in hell.
(Chorus)
J)h there are no fighter pilots In Iraq
bh there are no fighter pilots in Iraq
fcause they've all flown to Iran
pr taken a heater up the can
ph there are no fighter pilots in Iraq
■(Chorus)
ph there are no fighter pilots up in wing
I)h there are no fighter pilots up in wing
the place is full of brass, sitting around on their fat ass
ph there are no fighter pilots up in wing
(Girlj Voice)
Who"* that knocking at my door?
Hho's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Said the fair young maiden.
(Manly voice)
It's only me and I come from the eei!
Said Barnacle Bill, the sailor.
It's only me and I come from the sea!
Said Barnacle Bill, the sailor.
(Maiden).Who will.take me to the,dance?
(Bill) To hell with the dance and down with your pants!
(Maiden) What's that tiling between your legs?
(Bill) It's only me pole to stick in your hole!
(Maiden) What's that stuff around your pole?
(Bill) It's only me grass to tickle your ass!
(Maiden) What's that dripping down your leg?
(Bill) It's only the shot that missed yowr'twat!
(Maiden) What if Ma and Pa should come home early?
(Bill) Well, I'll fuck your ma and blow your Pa!
(Maiden) What if we should have a boy?
(Bill) Well, he'll go to the sea and fuck like me!
(Maiden) What if we should have a girl?
(Bill) Well, I'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch!
(Maiden) What if we should have twins?
(Bill) Well, I'll open your crack and shove 'em right back!
SAMMY SHALL
Oh, my name is Sammy Small...Puck 'em a)!.
Oh, my name is Sammy Small...Puck 'cm all.
Oh, my name is Sammy Small, and I've only got one ball,
But that's better than none at all,
So Fuck 'em a 111
Oh, they say I shot a man...Puck *em all.
Oh, they nay I ahot a man...Puck 'em all.
Oh, they say I ahot him dead, with a piece of fucking lead.
Now the silly fucker's dead,
So fuck 'em all!
Oh, they sny I'm gonna fiwinft, . .Furk 'em a]].
Oh, they sny I'm gonna swing...Fuck 'cm all.
Oh, they ssy I'm gonna swing, from a piece of fucking string,
What a silly fucking thing.
Puck * e m all!
Oh, the pnrson , he will come... Puck 'em nil.
Oh, the parson, he will come. ..Puck 'em all.
Oh, the pnrson, he will come, witli his tales of Kingdom Come.
He can shove it up his bum.
Fuck 'em nil!
Oh, the Sheriff wH1 be there too. ..Fuck 'em all.
Oh, the Sheriff be there too. ..Fuck 'em all.
Oh, the Sheriff will be there too, with his silly fucking crew.
They've got fuck-all else to do.
Fuck 'em nil.
Oli, they f. ny I greased the rope. ..Fuck 'em all.
Oh, they say I greased the rope. ..Fuck 'em all.
Oh, they ssy I greased the rope, with a piece of fucking soap.
What a silly fucking joke.
Puck ' om all!
(with reverence)
I saw Molly in the Crowd. ..Fuck 'em all.
I saw Molly in the Crowd. ..Puck 'em all.
1 saw Molly in the Crowd, and 1 felt so fucking proud,
That I shouted right out loud,
"Fuck 'ere all!"
THE S&M MAM
Who can tak® t*ro ice pisksi,
Stick'am In h@r itrfl.
Rid* her lik® a Hariay
While you fuck har up the r«tr
Chorui:
The S&M Man, The S&M Man.
The S&M Man c&uit he mixes it with lov®
And maktf the hurt faal good.
Who can taka a chain ikw,
Whack off all har limbs.
Throw her in th« oc«tn
And watch har try to awim.
Chorus
Who can take one ica pick,
Stick it in her aar.
Sit back and watch her bleed to daath
While you hava anothar baar.
Chorus
Who can take a lady,
Throw her in the road.
Shove a grenade up her cunt
And watch the bitch explode.
Chorus
Who can take a bicycle,
Remove the seat.
Mmks your grandmother ride it
Down a bumpy ole street.
Chorus
Who can take two jumper cables,
Connect 'em to her tits.
Start up the engine
And electrify the bitch.
Chorus
Who can tak@ a pregnant lady,
Throw her on the bed.
Fuck her in the pussy
While the fetus gives you head.
Chorus
Who can take a baby,
Throw him on the bed.
Fuck him in the soft spot
In the middle of his head.
Chorus
Who can taka a baby,
Spread its little thighs.
Fuck it all night
Till the little bastard cries.
Chorus
Chorus:
Ai. Ti. Yi. TI, rightar Pilot* tat pussy.
So let's hear another verse
That's worn than the other r«r»«,
And waits ae around by ay willie!
Thar* onoa wae a Ran fro. Boston
Who drovr a llttla rod Austin.
Thara was room for his ass and a gallon of ess,
But hia balls hunt out, and ha lost 'eat
(Chorus)
Tba>re oner-mas -a amn froa Kant
Whose dick was ao long that it bant.
To save hiasalf trouble, ha stuck it in double,
And lnstaad of ooaing, ha want.
(Chorus)
Thtre-once waa a aan froa Nantucket
Whoa* dick was so long h* could suck it.
Ha said, with a grin, as ht wiped off his chin,
"If ay ear was a ount, I could fuck itt"
(Chorus)
There once was a girl naaed Alice,
Who used s dynaaite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina in North Carolina,
And bits of her tits down in Dallas.
(Chorus)
There once was a aan from Orleans
Who played the jack-off aachines.
On the ninety-ninth stroke, the goddaa thing broke,
And beat his balls to creaa!
(Chorus)
There was sn old hermit naaed Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She wos minus one tit, and sin* lied quite a bit,
But think of the money he saved!
(Chorus)
There once was a girl from Llewellyn
Who everyone there knew as Helen,
Who, while trying to please, spread a social disease,
From New York to the Straights of Magellan!
(Chorus)
There -ones <wa.s a aan.froa Class
Whose balls were aade out of brass.
When he rubbed thea together, they played "Storsy Weather,"
And lightning shot out of his ass!
(Chorus)
There once was a whore froa the Azores
Whose cunt had incredible siph. sores.
The -■" ■% in the street used to est the green aeat
Hunt in festoons froa her drawers I
( iiorus )
There once was a man from Vancouver
Who thought he knew every maneuver,
Till a girl from Van Neyes gave him a rise
With the aid of a--portable .Hoover!
(Alternate Choruses:)
... Your aother swias after the troopships (and catches thea!)
... Your brother jacks-off in confession (and likes it.?)
... Your sister does squat-thrusts on fireplugs (mnd J. ikes it!)
... Your aother licks cua stains off bedsheets (and likes it!)
... Your cousin just butt-fucked ay collie (and liked it!)
... Your brother eats batshit off civt walls (mnd likts it!)
... Your aother sucks farts from 6*»d seagulls (and likes it!)
... Your sister blows goats (or a quartir (and liket it!)
... Your brother refills cream donuts (mind eats them)
PPEJ*AT ION ..DESJTRT .STORM
1. AKBAR KHALI KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN.
Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun's butt.
2. FEKR GABUL CARDAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down
on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.
3. SHOMAEK FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.
I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in
your life.
4. AUTO ARRAREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAH HAST.
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in
the trunk of your car.
5. FASHAL EH TUPEHHEH NA DEGAT MANO GAFTAM CHEESYEH MOHEMARA.
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital
appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my
country in public.
6. KHERAL JEPAMEH MANEH VAJKLI AMRIKAHEY - ANRA PETER ARNETT.
I will tell you the names and addresses of many American
spies travelling as reporters - like Peter Arnett.
7. BALLI, BALLI, BALLI !!
Whatever you say buddy!!
8. MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLIEH, GHORBAN.
The red blindfold would be lovely, thankyou.
9. TIKEH NUNEA BA OBES KHRELLAH BEZORG. VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO.
The water soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I
must have the recipe.
10. ARCHEYH, OKRBAH ! ! ANKAH KHALLA TOSEYAH BODESH TOOKLA
BADESAH, MOSEH YELLAH POSEPAH.
Fuck you, Raghead! My buddies bombed your country into
the stoneage, now I'm going home!
A FIGHTER PILOT/WSO
as seen by:
Headquarters: A drunken, brawling, jeep-stealing, woman-
corrupting liar with a big watch, survival knife and an
unauthorized hat.
His Commander: A fine speciman of a drunken, brawling, jeep
stealing, woman-corrupting liar with a big watch, survival
knife and unauthorized hat.
His wife/girlfriend: A stinking, gross, crude, foul-mouthed
bum who arrives home every 2 or 3 months with a bag of dirty
flight suits, a huge ugly watch, a knife, a filthy old hat/
and a hard-on.
Himself: A stout, handsome, highly trained, professional
killer. A female idol who carries a finely honed survival
knife, is covered by a fine desert-camof1 aged hat and is
always on time due to the reliability of his Rolex watch.
Department of Defense: An over-paid, over-rated tax burden
who is indisposable since he will volunteer to go anywhere as
long as he can drink, brawl, steal jeeps, corrupt women, lie,
sing dirty songs and wear filthy flight suits, survival
knives, Rolex watches and unauthorized hats.
7440th COMBAT SONG BOOK
Dedicated in the spirit of all fighter jocks, living and
dead, especially those who have been shot at.
CONTENTS
STANDARDIZED BREVITY CODES...............................3
THE SAGA OF PROVEN F'ORCE.................................4
MOSUL MONDAY.............................................5
I DON * T WANT TO GO TO WAR................................6
PERSIAN GULF.............................................7
DON ' T WORRY , BE HAPPY.................................... 8
DEAR MOM.................................................9
FRANKIE AND JOHNNY......................................10
THE BALLS OF 0 * LEAREY...................................11
ADELINE SCHMIDT.........................................11
WI LD WEASELS............................................11
THE FIREMAN.............................................12
I LOVE MY WIFE..........................................12
I FUCKED A DEAD WHORE...................................12
BESTIALITY.............................................12
BEER, BEER, BEER, BEER..................................13
HIGHLAND BALL...........................................14
SAMMY SMALL.............................................15
BARNACLE BILL...........................................16
AI , YI, YI , YI..........................................17
THE S&M MAN.............................................18
"If you have to have a real job, this isn't a bad one to have.
-Jtmmy B u f f e 11