Old Fashioned Harlot

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This song is derived from Immortalia. This is a parody on the song "The Old Oaken Bucket".

How dear to my heart is the old-fashioned harlot
When fond recollection presents her to view,
The madam, the whorehouse, and beer by the carlot,
And e'en the delight of the old-fashioned screw.
You may talk as you like of these new innovations
Imported from France and of which I've heard tell,
But give me the natural, carnal sensations
Of the old-fashioned harlot whose surname was Belle.

How dear to my heart was the old-fashioned harlot
As she lay legs outstretched on her sumptuous bed,
While I, an impetuous horny young varlet,
Drove my dink to the hub in her spoiled maidenhead;
With her musk and her smile and her very bad grammar
She had cast over me quite a Paphian spell,
And I dearly delighted to fondle and cram her,
This old-fashioned harlot whose surname was Belle.

How dear to my heart was the old-fashioned harlot
Whose regular price was five dollars a leap,—
I was really quite fond of those women in scarlet
With whom I was wont, on occasion, to sleep;
You may sing as you please of the old-fashioned bucket
That hung or that swung in the moss-girdled well,
But give me a strumpet with leisure to fuck it
Like the old-fashioned harlot whose surname was Belle. 
 

• [members of the Norman Luboff Choir]
  • The Earthy Side
    • King David [recitation]  Time: 0:10
    • There Was An Old Farmer  Time: 0:45
    • Dead-eye Dick [recitation]  Time: 0:41
    • Her Whole Estate  Time: 0:29
    • Love Song [recitation]  Time: 0:12
    • Old Fashioned Harlot  Time: 1:36
    • Some Die Of Drinking Whiskey  Time: 0:21
    • Dark-eyed Gentleman  Time: 1:54
    • Old Boy [recitation]  Time: 0:15
    • Gentlemen Will Please Refrain  Time: 0:55
    • His Only Limitation [recitation]  Time: 0:06
    • Yellow, Yellow Yorlin  Time: 2:08
    • Invitation [recitation]  Time: 0:12
    • Young Man Of Calcutta  Time: 0:28
    • Advise To A Young Man [story]  Time: 2:04
    • Adultery Ad Absurdum  Time: 0:32
    • Ropey Squadron  Time: 1:35
    • Funiculi, Funicula  Time: 0:47
    • Pastorale ["The Sheepherd Lay in the Tall, Tall Grass...", recitation]  Time: 0:42
    • Lydia Pinkham  Time: 2:15
    • Now That I'm Old [recitation, has been used as a toast]  Time: 0:32
    • Yankee Doodle  Time: 1:08
    • Song [aka Sylvia The Fair]  Time: 1:54
    • Did I Say All [recitation, has been used as a toast]  Time: 0:28
    • John Harrolson  Time: 2:02
    • Twenty Toes [toast]  Time: 0:12
    • Old Dan Tucker  Time: 1:19
    • Punkt [recitation]  Time: 0:06
    • The Sexual Life Of The Camel  Time: 0:29
    • My Lady's Coachman  Time: 0:52
    • A Man Of Audacity [recitation]  Time: 1:13
    • Bona Nox  Time: 0:42
    • Bastard King Of England  Time: 1:53

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